Father Ted-Classic....

"DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING!" "Careful now" = ultimate classic, but not far behind from that episode:

"D'yer remember when he was trying to take the banana off the other lad?"
"That wasn't a BANANA, Dougal..."

As well, the quick cut between Ted's fury at Dougal doing a funeral and the aftermath in the Christmas special, Father Sloane's delayed reactions to everything and anything and the one priest with the youth group addicted to "The Whole of the Moon." And "My Lovely Horse."

I haven't seen an episode of Father Ted for at least a couple of years... damn.

one amongst many.

"... ... ... How's the son?"

and the scene from the Mainland show where the Dougal, hallucinating from the hunger, is apparently triyng to get Ted to return some money.

Search also:

"Ted.. I'm going mad, Ted."

"D'you remember when his whole head went septic? You wouldn't have thought a whole head could go septic." (In fact this whole episode, which is improved for Irish viewers by the fact that the actor who plays Father Jack's replacement is a startlingly unfunny Irish comedian, a sort of Irish Jimmy Tarbuck)

And to be honest all of it. I saw a bit of third series stuff, about which I thought the established wisdom was that it had gone off the boil a bit, but even the scenes during the credits, featuring Dougal defending the corner flag from the anti-Dougal, had me in pain.

About the only negative things I can say about it is that it's a national disgrace that they had to go abroad to make it, and that it launched Graham Norton (I understand that I may be crime on that one).

And that it is the new Monty Python, as regards students who can and will recite whole episodes, but I think they even take the piss out of that.

- naked man throwing himself over the car of Ted & Dougal after they kept running into the man and his girlfriend at some holiday camp.

- old farmer shouting from a distance about "keeping up with the ol racism now, father"

- spinning cat as highlight of the craggy island fair (I think if you are from a very small town you can deeply sympathize)

Also, Ted's blackboard sequence in the milkfloat episode.

And the 'just play the fucking note' lovely horse writing session.

...and neil's dad = bishop of Clogher.

Obv. 'Speed 3' is wonderful, especially the Sweeney bit when Ted has to frantically move all those cardboard boxes as Dougal thunders majestically on in the milkfloat. And for Mrs Doyle's coquettish makeup stylings.

However, a special fondness remains in my heart for the bunnies episode, if only for the scary man (and his collection of weaponry) who they nearly employ to get rid of the cute little problems and their little twitchy noses.

It's weird, that dividing line between thinking it's feckin' genius and complete rubbish. People I know who hail the might of Monty Python still don't get Father Ted. I tell them that the set's _supposed_ to look like a domestic Doctor Who episode in its cardboardliness, but my efforts come to no avail...

We were just talking about that fella Kurt Cobain. Blew his head off with a shotgun! Imagine! How'd you survive something like that?

- Er, he didn't. He's dead

Oh right

despite never being funny at all elsewhere?

Dougal explaining the "Spider-baby" on TV as an injured Ted watches from home.

Pat Mustard and the very hairy babies ("do you think they're copying his style, Ted?").

Ardal's own comic material is pretty good, as is his novel, but the other telly things he's done since are bleah.

Yes. Genius doesn't have to be consistent.

Graham Norton doing Bohemian Rhapsody is the greatest thing ever. I don't see how you could hate him, especially not in that.

its a joke! its a joke!!!

You're not alone though Andrew, it galls me that the completely unfunny usually Graham Norton is really good in it, maybe it's because he's just being him, a hyperactive, annoying twat.

DOUGAL Do you remember that film Ted when that man had his head transported onto a fly, and eh, the fly's head is transported on to the man.
FR.TED: Oh yes. What was that called?
DOUGAL: Out of Africa I think, anyway, so he's flying around with the head of a fly, and his wife's trying to hide the jam so he won't get stuck in it, and...
FR. TED: I'll have to stop you there Dougal.
DOUGAL: Oh?
FR. TED: No reason, I just have to stop you there.

"I LIKE that!"

(nb. Clare Grogan only non-Irish to be allowed a part since her accent work was perfect)

And then of course ruins it by hearing Radiohead on the bus home.

Actually, I know someone who genuinely believes that The Vicar of Dibley is funnier than Father Ted? I suggested that she be humanely put down.

Other bits people haven't mentioned yet: the episode where Mrs. Doyle wins the poetry contest, gets a visit from the sweatered singer, and the whole thing turns into a rip on Night Of The Living Dead.

Oh and this exchange from the America episode...

Ted: What do you do with that kind of money?
American Priest: I wipe my ass with it Ted

The bit on the Mainland in the Very Dark Caves ("It's almost like being blind") where Tony the youth group member yells at Father Noel and Noel pretends to put Tony at the top of his people-I-don't-like list. "Haha, not really, look what I really wrote, 'I really like Tony'."

Mrs Doyle getting down off the windowsill.

Pat Mustard the randy milkman: "Ah, Mrs Doyle, the police want to arrest me cos I'm sooo gorgeous."

Or something like that.

"Ted! You forgot your brick!"

Got my parents into it as well. Just about anything Dougal does knocks my dad flat.

Just for that 'words fail' moment.

and then he went to the police station

Dougal: Ahh let's see, I'll have the Hindu curry, steak and chips, and a glass of coke, thanks.
Police: Do you know where you are? You're in a police station.
Dougal: Oh right. Well, in that case, I'll just have the Satay Chicken

Father Ted: Ah, Sister Assumpta.
Sister Assumpta: Hello Father.
Father Ted: Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?
Father Dougal: Er, no.
Father Ted: She was here last year. And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do. And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal.
[Dougal shakes his head.]
Sister Assumpta: And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you. And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?
Father Ted: Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter. When you fell out of the helicopter. Over the zoo. Do you remember the tigers?
[Dougal shakes his head some more.]

Father Ted: You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.

Father Dougal: Ah, Sister Assumpta.

Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.

Dougal: Oh right.

(that blue jumper one always cracks me up, ken!)

'I hear you're a racist, Father Ted'

Tears of laughter.

seriously, i can't pick a single moment. it's all perfect. my favourite sitcom, by several country miles. owning it on DVD has made my life complete.

that said: i do remember seeing the aeroplane episode for the first time and thinking i was going to die laughing. being painfully stoned and (sort-of accidentally) high on glue might have added to the overall effect, but if there's one episode that has a special place in my heart, that's it.

"Who's that, Sophia Loren, ha ha ha"

"No father, his holiness the pope"

"He's no friend of mine, ha ha ha"

"..."

I knew I'd contributed to a Ted thread on here.

I just noticed the Father Ted cameo in "Brass Eye" the other day.

but my favourite moment is when Dougal, who has already been warned that one of the Bishops has a dicky heart, suddenly leaps forward screaming because he 'forgot that Aliens was on tonight'.

could it really be the greatest sitcom ever made? i think it might.

xpost

yes.

a year later!

i don't think i could ever get bored of watching it.

Has anyone read Well Remembered Days by Arthur Matthews (co-writer of FT)?
Only book I've ever read that's had me in tears. Very similar humour to Ted.

Haw. Some things take time!

"A what?"

"A spider baby! It's got the body of a spider and the mind of a baby!"

"Has it got a baby's head?"

"Er...No."

"So if it doesn't actually gurgle at you or anything, how do you know it's a baby?"

"...They put it in a pram."

Also:

"You can also praise God with sleep, Dougle."

"They're a lot of ways you can praise God, aren't there Ted? Remember when you told me to praise Him by just leaving the room?"

"That was a good one, yeah."

SPEED 3

oh thank you this thread. roffles abound just reading your quotes.

the extras in this were always superbly acted.

well, obv they weren't quite extras. but i mean the non main characters always performed hilarious roles well.

loved that bit when the milkfloat was going to crash into a load of boxes and ted moved it just in time, and then we see that he also arranged it into a neat pyramid pattern

father ted's demons haunting him on the beach during the Xmas special got the biggest laugh from me. the moment i lost it was after a whole host of regulars had taunted ted with the words 'only the second-best priest in ireland!' and what not, dougal emerged out of the mist, looked around with a faintly terrified look on his face, and withdrew. amazing.

every episode is a thing of wonder, though.

Oh, and Dougal's Last Rites.

"Totus tuus siminimus canus costacurta baggio..."

FLIGHT OF TERROR is still my favorite.

"We ran the gas off the electricity and the electricity off the gas and we saved £200"

I think this kind of sums up FT's greatness, for me.

Like, I can vividly imagine that quote in the voice of so many batshit relatives

WE PUT THE BRICK ON THE ACCELERATOR.

o shit they've just announced the death of a former coworker in my office and I'm laughing my ass off at the phrase "don't tell me I'm still on that feckin island".

Me and SO both embarrassed to admit we thought it looked crap when it first came out, I guess the trailers must've made it look 'wacky' or something. Now it's one of my favourite things ever. Chris the Sheep episode being among the best, for the flashbacks with crowns etc and the several occasions where Ted announces major accusations in front of a big crowd, to a response of general gasps and mumblings and, a split second later, someone just going 'fookin hell'.

For some reason I really want to see this recreated at choice moments in "24"...

"LEN!!!"

it's still my favourite line.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for our national anthem..."

FLIGHT OF TERROR is still my favorite.

"What do you think? It's me in the nip, with the dog."

to a response of general gasps and mumblings and, a split second later, someone just going 'fookin hell'.

oh god this was so funny

"THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP!"

"A PAIR OF FECKIN' WOMEN'S KNICKERS"
"Yes, Father."
"KNICKERS. WOMEN'S KNICKERS"
"Yes, Father, yes!"

last night i downloaded the first-ever father ted episode as well as "speed 3" for a couple of american friends; it lies on their desktop like some hibernating bomb

"What would you say to a nice cup of tea?"
"FECK OFF CUP!!"

"You know, it's been so long since I watched it, I forgot Steve McQueen was in it"

I have to agree with the flight of terror episode - it's fantastic. Other favorites of mine are the one where all the Chinese people settle on Craggy Island and think Ted is racist and I've always loved the Dancing Priest. One of my favorite lines is when Ted points out that all the new babies in town are hairy, and D asks if he thinks the babies are copying the milkman's style. Feck off cup is my husband's favorite.

Right, fuck this work I'm supposed to be doing, I'm going to spend the afternoon streaming Father Ted.

Father Larry Duff!

A perfectly square lump of dust.

Father Jack has died, and come back to life again, like that fellow.... E.T.

The picture that Father Stone paints of himself with Ted is hysterical.

dammit i too am streaming father ted now

The NYPD intro to "Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse"

"ah Ted c'mon"

"Don't call me Len, you big prick. I'm a bishop"
"Oh right, well done"

exactly.

eoin mclove could have you killed though. who here knows daniel o'donnell?

Cuban Priest: "You know Ted, this celibacy is hard for a man..."

Still great. I need to finally get the DVD sets, they're worth actually owning.

I did like the requisite tie-in book that was supposed to be a collection of parish newsletters.

eoin mclove

http://www.danielodonnell.org/?p=about

Haha "Pet Hates: Smoking followed by gossip"

EVERYone knows the polite way is gossip followed by smoking

Jack after sobering up: "FLOOR! COR-TAINS! (points at Ted) GOBSHITE!"

I love my brick.

"It's nice to have a nun around. Gives the place a bit of glamour."

"Nuns are great aren't they Ted? They're not like real women."

Dougal: (trying to pray) Hail Mary who art in heaven.......
Ted: Hallowed.
Dougal: Oh yeah. Hallowed Be....
Ted: Thy Name...
Dougal: Papa Don't Preach........

I do believe that Bishop Len Brenan, just officiated at Siobhan's funeral in the archers.

"SIMPLY THE BEST!!! BETTER THAN ALL THE ... Oh, hi Ted."

Surprised and delighted last night to see a Father Ted I'd never seen before - the Eoin "My Lovely Mayo Mammy" McLove one!

It's a jumper baked into a cake!

O, the hilarity!

FR. TED: I'll have to stop you there Dougal.
DOUGAL: Oh?
FR. TED: No reason, I just have to stop you there.

Oh we all have done that one, before and since.

I did like the requisite tie-in book that was supposed to be a collection of parish newsletters.

-- Ned Raggett, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:25 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Yeah, this is always in our magazine rack. I don't know why exactly, but it is.

(nb. Clare Grogan only non-Irish to be allowed a part since her accent work was perfect)

You forgot Father Brian Eno.

I was going to say Gemma Craven but it turns out she's Irish! However Kevin McKidd isn't.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Father?"

"No, thank you Mrs. Doyle"

"Are you sure, Father?"

"Yes, I'm sure Mrs. Doyle. Thank you"

"Come on Father. Are you sure you don't want a nice, hot cup of tea?"

"Mrs Doyle, thank you but I am not in the mood for tea."

"Oh go on, Father. Just try a little."

"Mrs. Doyle! I said I did not want any tea and I meant it!"

(Mrs. Doyle turns away, heartbroken. Then throws a glance back at Ted)

"Please, Father? Won't you try just a cup?"

"Mrs. Doyle I do not want any tea!"

"Oh Father, please just have a cup of tea! I know you'll like it! Please, Father!"

"OK Mrs. Doyle. You know what? I've changed my mind. I would like a cup of tea."

"NO! YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!"

Father Dougal: Knock-knock, Ted.
Father Ted: Who's there?
Father Dougal: Father Dougal McGuire.
Father Ted: Good night, Dougal.

Oh no, not Blockbusters again!

"What would you say to a nice cup of tea?"
"FECK OFF CUP!!"

-- King Boy Pato, Monday, June 4, 2007 1:33 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

That's one of my favorites.

This is my favourite moment...

Dougal: Ready Ted? Let's do it!
Ted: Dougal, don't take it so seriously, it's just a bit of fun.
(Several hours later, the room is filled with smoke and there is a cigarette hanging out of a stressed out Ted's mouth)
Ted: Just play the fecking note!
Dougal: The first one?
Ted: (frantic screaming) No not the fecking first one! The fecking first one's already fecking down! Just play the fecking note you were fecking playing earlier! I've been playing the fecking first one! We have the fecking first one!

Is that the Eurovision episode?

yeah a classic

(xpost) Yes - funny not just because it's funny, but also because that's how a songwriting session usually progresses...

Dougal: Ted, have you seen my record collection?
Ted: Record collection?
Dougal: Yeah!

Dougal: Here it is.
Ted: Dougal, you need more than one record to have a collection.
What you have is a record.

^ Ha - yes!

The creative process behind 'My Lovely Horse' <<< missing the bit at the end where they're passed out with the drum machine still going

Farmer: So I hear your a racist now, father. Should we all be rascist now, what is the church's position on the old racism? See with the farm and everything I might not be able to devote to much time to the racisms in the evenings I like a sit down and a nice cup of tea.

Woman: good for you, good for you, coming over here stealing our jobs stealing our women. Fecking Greeks

Farmer: its not the greeks he's after its the chinese.

Woman: I don't care as long as I get a go at the feckin' greeks. THEY INVENTED GAYNESS.

That's a classic episode, so many funny lines ("Er... Funny how you become more right wing as you get older!"), building up great ending.

GOD...BLESS YOU...FATHER...TED CRILLY

xpost single greatest episode ever, that one. genius in so many ways.

the "NOT A RACIST" slide thing is a fucking joy.

So I hear your a racist now, father. Should we all be rascist now, what is the church's position on the old racism?

I love that.

GF is right. That episode is just amazing. Then again, so many of them are.

I've been taking a self-imposed break from FT because I OD'd a little a couple years back. We watched the one where they have to protest the film (Careful Now/Down with this sort of thing) episode last week and it made me think I can probably start watching again now.

I can't decide whether that one or kicking bishop brenan up the arse one is the best. So many great moments.

I love the final shot in that episode where father ted has just led the drunk chinese into his living room done out in nazi regalia.

'Wait wait, I can explain... No no I can't'

My favourite episode is the one where they have to fix the raffle. It's perfect, like an episode of Fawlty Towers in that there's no filler or wasted time. There are so many interweaving plot threads, and no matter what Ted does to put the situation right it just gets worse and worse, and more embarrassing.

this show is never not funny

x-post The Dancing Priest! And the one Jack gets locked in the closet with!

is it Jack in the closet with him? I can't remember now - I might be mixing something up.

It is Jack in the closet with that priest that says "we connected the gas to the electricity and the electricity to the gas and saved two hundred pounds"

i feel the need to watch my DVD box-set from start to finish. every single quote on here is making me laugh myself silly. again.

going to a party on friday that's a father ted themed fancy dress. thoughts??? i was thinking of going as noel furlong but not sure. also i am due to dj so will possibly play ghost town/shaft etc.

i can't think of any of the minor characters that'd be good tho, anyone care to jog my memory? i'd really like to as bishop len brennan too but the robes could be a problem.

http://www.3click.tv/mp4//Father%20Ted/season%203/metadata/178587.jpg

Eoin McLove

Go as Mr. Benson from "The Old Grey Whistle Theft." (Alternately, Father Damo Lennon.)

Go as Elvis with 2 other people

Father Cyril MacDuff, Rugged Island's equivalent of Dougal.

the sleazy milkman dude

Pat Mustard! Yes good shout

Father Fintan Stack, complete with Ghetto Blaster.

^^^^
Was gonna suggest. Then you could play amazing ragga jungle as well.

there's a friend of mine who's guaranteed to be there as pat mustard, to the extent that I was just speaking to another friend who casually said ".... is going as pat mustard no doubt" and I was like "yeah obviously" with neither of us having spoke to the guy.

eoin mclove is a great suggestion actually.

You should collaborate with two of your other friends and go as the three ages of Elvis.

Don't forget to play "Vienna" by Ultravox. And avoid any Radiohead songs.

http://teesbox.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/new-jack-city.jpg

And My Lovely Horse. Possibly as a set opener.

xp

Go as Todd Unctious. Don't tell anyone this though, make them guess who you are.

The internet tells me Father Fintan stack favours "Cutty Ranks - Limb By Limb (Dj SS Remix)" which is a pretty awesome tune.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sfQzIpvw2LM/SjY_3rxBaqI/AAAAAAAABvQ/aP_tCO9k61I/s400/tom+father+ted.jpg

I think this would be the most fun in terms of staying in character all evening.

AH TIS ME OWN MONEY FYAAADUR - I JUST DIDN'T WANT TE FILL OUT DE FARMS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzsFM0tko-I

Feckin' fields and cows. Feck off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Al107Xebw&feature=related

RIP Jack

:((((((

Before Ted (and to many still) he'd be best known for his political satire work so apt day for him to go.

Did not know that. If a poorly painted mural can be knocked for Bowie in next to no time, then surely someone can do one for Jack, here's a photo for artist to work from:

http://static.bips.channel4.com/bips/520x390/father-ted/characters/7aebd7d4-5407-4165-b742-860b9a18046c.jpg

18 (!) years to the day since Dermot Morgan died

Jesus, that long

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballymagash

Ballymagash is still a v current and pointed reference in rural local politics, from my time in that sphere very little would score a point as well as dropping the name in a council chamber.

RIP

Catholic priest 'caught snorting cocaine in Nazi room'

Ardal O'Hanlon on Celebrity Mastermind, specialist subject: the Velvet Underground.

Has this been mentioned? Seen this don't know how many times and it still cracks me up…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x70bndpc70