disregard all previous LOLZ and write a ZING about EXCELSIOR

(Re: the Alec Baldwin movie)


Who's really gonna go see this movie? Raise your hands

― Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 1 May 2025 17:53 (fifty-three minutes ago)

i had them raised just in case tbh

― tuah dé danann (darraghmac), Thursday, 1 May 2025 18:18 (twenty-seven minutes ago)

Nice to see one of these with an actual funny post

rude

Took me awhile to get

lol deems

incredible

This is the standard going forward inshallah

Yes we have received your parody song lyrics but we have decided to move in another direction (funny)

here's to many new chuckles this year and a new thread to share them with each other!

<3 let's bring the lolz

“It is such an honor to realize that he is the first American Pope,” Trump said

It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize It is such an honor to realize words are meaningless now words are meaningless now words are meaningless now words are meaningless now

― z_tbd, Thursday, May 8, 2025 2:17 PM (seven minutes ago)

Ah yes, the people of the world will finally now be aware of America and Americans

― zydecodependent (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, May 8, 2025 2:18 PM (five minutes ago)

at a certain age, it becomes an honor to realize anything at all

― whimsical skeedaddler (Moodles), Thursday, May 8, 2025 2:18 PM (five minutes ago)

Old me immediately realized I loved that.

from "Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you..."

Passion project

― Alba, Saturday, May 17, 2025 1:56 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

What am I supposed to call it when I spend hours on woodwork and then nail a guy to it

― the babality of evil (wins), Saturday, May 17, 2025 2:03 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

wasn't there something in the past where they couldn't use actual tanks on the streets of DC because they destroy the asphalt?

― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, May 21, 2025 3:42 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

“The Army is finalizing plans to place large metal plates at key points on the route to better protect streets from the movements of tanks set to roll through. The tanks are also being fitted with new rubber track pads.”

― trm (tombotomod), Wednesday, May 21, 2025 3:50 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Rubber Trumper Tanky Bumpers

― Lithium Just Madison (C. Grisso/McCain),

let's all get matching 🎵 tattoos. after all we all love music here!

― five six seven, eight nine ten, begin (map), 29 May 2025 23:38 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

No, 'ILX' on our throats

― Andy the Grasshopper, 29 May 2025 23:42 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

"51" over my heart

― sleeve, 29 May 2025 23:43 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I seriously considered a bass clef on my shoulder

― my favorite herbs are fennel and Drake (DJP), 29 May 2025 23:44 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

a giant heart on my face

― five six seven, eight nine ten, begin (map), 29 May 2025 23:45 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Darragh your sense of humor is tremendously confounding

You are one of the funniest posters and yet

not confounding at all

"IF you know your ILX History..."

(Bob Marley)

dude

darragh has excellent taste in jokes

For those unfamiliar with the relevant 22-year-old lore:

My mother's incredibly stupid ex-husband

i am very confused, this to me was absolutely straightforward good ilx joke execution

so was it a reference to that thread or no

I think the “absolutely straightforward” aspect was what made it unworthy of an excelsior in my admittedly picky opinion

this has always been the least funny thread on here and I haven't seen much change recently. Just give me a pre-warning when the laughter is going to start, so my heart has a chance of taking it!

ah ok

id rather stand accused of being disappointingly straightforward than obtuse tbh, as far as it goes

listen, we won't kill anyone over it

raising my hands just in case

Why should you want to know
Why are you obsessed with LOLing

LocalGarda
Posted: 2 June 2025 at 18:08:27
I honestly don't think sweat or BO smells like cumin. When was the last time any of you cooked with cumin instead of your own sweat?

I misread that at first, but hey

Not gonna quote it all, but some of the recent exchanges on the Billy Joel listening thread (start here) have been delivering the LOLZ.

I've long maintained that "12 Inches of Snow" was actually one of the most clever album titles ever, since it can refer to 1) a weather forecast, 2) a 12" record from the rapper Snow, 3) the size of Snow's penis (big!). triple entendres are rarely attempted, and even more rarely successful, in fact off hand I can barely think of any that work? the only other one is Rick Wakeman's Criminal Record, but that's more like a 2 1/2 entendre (unless you think he should be arrested for it). What do you got?

― frogbs, Thursday, 10 March 2022 19:58 (three years ago) bookmarkflaglink

one year passes...

I found another one: Rick Wakeman's Criminal Record: 1) the phrase "criminal record", 2) the fact that it's a record about criminals, and 3) the fact that making this should've been considered a crime :)

― frogbs, Friday, 26 May 2023 19:59 (two years ago) bookmarkflaglink

The Dirty Three, Four Tops

― God only knows what I'd be without me (flamboyant goon tie included), Sunday, June 22, 2025 7:40 PM (two days ago)bookmarkflaglink

Flip their wig by telling them Jesus wasn’t white

― Black Sabaoth (Boring, Maryland), Monday, July 14, 2025 9:18 AM

fake gnos

― Iza Duffus Hardy (President Keyes), Monday, July 14, 2025 9:27 AM

I wish contemporary gay guys’ fulsome and overweening praise of women was more like this song and less like “she’s serving life after she dumped a slay toilet on her mother”

― Tim F, Monday, July 21, 2025 4:06 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

what is that from lol

https://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=41&threadid=116127

thx!

Re: Ozzy vs the ARP 2600

There was actually a discarded modular synth like this, maybe a ARP, that was donated to my high school in the early 80s. We didn't get as far as Ozzy with it. No manual, no music teacher who knew how to operate it, only a few patch cords. I wonder who eventually salvaged it, or if it ended up in a dumpster? It sat in the corner, behind the circle of sparkly new Casios with ironing board stands. Teacher who was supposed to teach us how to use the Casios was a drunk who stopped showing up. There were also a bunch of cheap nylon string guitars, and the quarterback taught me the riffs to Misty Mountain Hop and Crazy Train.

― Primrose Cash Po (bendy), Thursday, July 24, 2025 6:47 AM (thirty-eight minutes ago)

I think you accidentally wrote a Lifter Puller song

― chr1sb3singer, Thursday, July 24, 2025 7:00 AM (twenty-five minutes ago)

I read that as "Ozzy vs. the AARP"

new Jeannie C. Riley song

https://www.yourparty.uk/

corbyn sultana party website is up

― nxd, Thursday, 24 July 2025 12:21 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

it's not called Your Party, by the way. it does not yet have a name.

― Proust Ian Rush (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 24 July 2025 12:22 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I'll cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you.

― Posts That Witness Madness (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 July 2025 12:23 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

From RIP Ozzy Thread. Set-up, assist, and power dunk is why ILX is great...

With Ozzy gone, Rob Halford is officially Metal's Dad.

― Instead of create and send out, it pull back and consume (unperson), Saturday, July 26, 2025 12:07 PM (three hours ago)

I have two dads. Bruce Dickinson and Rob Halford.

― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, July 26, 2025 1:12 PM (two hours ago)

Poor Alice Cooper

― Iza Duffus Hardy (President Keyes), Saturday, July 26, 2025 2:07 PM (one hour ago)

THREE DADS

― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, July 26, 2025 2:48 PM (fifty-eight minutes ago)

Three Men and Rosemary's Baby

― Lithium Just Madison (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, July 26, 2025 3:40 PM (five minutes ago)

I don't remember much of the book but am definitely looking forward to The Long Walk.

― Instead of create and send out, it pull back and consume (unperson), Monday, 28 July 2025 01:11 (thirteen hours ago)

^ this is how my sunday afternoons go at 44

― tuah dé danann (darraghmac), Monday, 28 July 2025 07:56 (six hours ago)

I don't think Pritzker is too old but he is too fucking rich

― c u (crüt), Tuesday, August 26, 2025 1:15 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Pritzker is not too old and sometimes it takes a rich dude to FDR the place up a bit.

― einstürzende louboutin (suzy), Tuesday, August 26, 2025 2:28 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

how many times

― Nancy Makes Posts (sic), Tuesday, August 26, 2025 10:20 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

...do I have to try
and tell you
that I'm sorry
for all
the times I voted

― hungover beet poo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, August 26, 2025 10:21 AM (fifteen seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

What was Ceaucescu’s polling like in December 1989?

― Dumpy's Rusty Nuts Gimmick Poster (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, August 28, 2025 4:36 PM (fifty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

A head of his time.

― hungover beet poo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn)

https://bsky.app/profile/britishelectionstudy.com/post/3lxwfk62fvk2l

voting intention graph

trying to hotlink the image... this may not work.

― koogs, 03 September 2025 12:39 (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i'm voting NK/DV

― koogs, 03 September 2025 12:41 (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i'm voting NKVD

― glug (Noodle Vague), 03 September 2025 12:42 (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

vaxxed?

― gestures broadly at...everything (voodoo chili), 10 September 2025 21:54 (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I appreciate the Utah tutorial.

― hungover beet poo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, September 12, 2025 3:11 PM

sounds like a Mormon sex position

― czech hunter biden's laptop (the table is the table)

Definately check out Gilmour's Live In Gdansk album. Richard Wright was in the band along with Pratt and Phil Manzanera - the older Floyd material just sounded amazing, about as good as you're going to get from anything in the 21st century.

― Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, September 16, 2025 1:25 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Shoulda called it A Collection of Great Gdansk Songs

― je ne sequoia (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, September 16, 2025 7:50 AM (seventeen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

christ DESTROYS hawkers in temple

― LocalGarda, Tuesday, September 16, 2025 11:44 AM (seven minutes ago)

what on earth is this geese crap?

― massaman gai (front tea for two), Monday, September 29, 2025 12:11 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

It’s all over the grass

― Evan, Monday, September 29, 2025 1:20 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

(In thread about best opening line to a Smiths album)

How We Choosed to Live (Noodle Vague)
Posted: 11 October 2025 at 19:36:54
Kinda surprised only one of these is 14 words

Wordle 1,582 5/6*

⬛🟩⬛🟩⬛
⬛🟩⬛🟩⬛
⬛🟩⬛🟩⬛
⬛🟩⬛🟩⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

― peace, man, Saturday, 18 October 2025 09:40 (three hours ago)

never forget

― tuah dé danann (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 October 2025 10:35 (two hours ago)

Looool

🫡

A noun a verb and 9/11

never
never
never
never
beset

Oh my God

lol

All timer

This one didn't seem to get enough love on the UK pol thread:

ive come to hate herons because every time you see one, someone goes 'oh he's spotted something' and you stand there waiting expectantly for it to dive and they never do. I feel like i saw one dive as a child once, but now i've come to think perhaps this is a false memory.

nil spot heron
― 🤷‍♂️ Cunt Tory Cheese (wins), Thursday, 6 November 2025 11:38 (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Grab your glocks when you see Deepak
Call the cops when you see Deepak

― visiual system cohernent image. . fttf . equivament. for so (President Keyes), Thursday, November 13, 2025 6:44 AM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

might be able to find one in a charity shop. apple hardware used mini dp for most of decade before ditching it for usb c and hdmi

― mh, Monday, November 17, 2025 10:08 AM bookmarkflaglink

most of a decade, rather

― mh, Monday, November 17, 2025 10:09 AM bookmarkflaglink

Careful how you google mini dp tho

― calmer chameleon (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, November 17, 2025 10:09 AM bookmarkflaglink

With light editing:

Anyway, a big difference between Soul Coughing and Cake and a lot of those other acts is that SC and Cake are a bunch of dorks/nerds/dweebs, and those other bands are, like, beach-bros. Soul Coughing would have to be coaxed into taking off their shirts, Sugar Way or Sublime probably had to be tricked into putting shirts on.

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, December 8, 2025 7:56 AM (one hour ago)

I don't think Fun Lovin' Criminals or eels would take off their shirts. You guys are splitting hairs to justify liking funky white boy music. It's OK if you do!

― *pies flung everywhere* -- Pill's Trap Goin' Ham (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, December 8, 2025 8:10 AM (fifty-eight minutes ago)

To be fair, the only thing I know about Fun Lovin' Criminals is that I sold a lot of their promo CDs without listening to them.

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, December 8, 2025 8:12 AM (fifty-six minutes ago)

The Obit threads aren't usually a go-to for LOLZ, but:

RIP Chris Rea, will always have a lot of love for 'Josephine'. Definitely had some tunes and seemingly a big heart. At his best he was of like Paddy McAloon for men who spend their lives in company cars.

― Reggaeton Sax (NickB), Monday, December 22, 2025 12:36 PM (eleven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Probably in bad taste, but:

Béla Tarr

― calzino, Tuesday, January 6, 2026 6:56 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Only 70, I had assumed he was quite a bit older

― Dance Yourself Dizzy To The Music of Time (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, January 6, 2026 7:01 AM (fifty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Dunno why you would associate him with longevity

― stimmed hums (wins), Tuesday, January 6, 2026 7:07 AM (fifty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

off topic question: was "gygax!" a girl? quick scan of this thread i'm thinking yes.

― citation needed (Steve Shasta), Saturday, November 19, 2011 6:28 PM (fourteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Mike Johnson? He hasn't heard anything about it. He's a very busy man, you know.

he’s busy sucking twink dick in a hotel room somewhere. the guy is as closeted as they come.

― a tv star not a dirty computer man (the table is the table), Saturday, January 10, 2026 7:38 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

goooood morning!

― The Luda of Suburbia (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, January 10, 2026 7:48 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

thats not a coup

― lag∞n, Sunday, January 11, 2026 8:46 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

just sparkling regicide

― cam'ron winter (m bison), Sunday, January 11, 2026 8:54 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

loved that

garfield is the worst president for trying to eat food with his butt

― lag∞n, Monday, January 26, 2026 2:15 AM (twenty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Lasagna

― Bertolt Blecch (Neanderthal), Monday, January 26, 2026 2:19 AM (twenty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

‪e.w. niedermeyer‬ niedermeyer.online‬

Musk posits a hypothetical scenario where Optimus robots could build a rare earth refinery, but they would need an "orchestra conductor" to guide that work, which is where Grok would come in.

― lag∞n, Wednesday, January 28, 2026 11:30 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

What could go wrong

― tobo73, Wednesday, January 28, 2026 11:52 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

What could go right is if the robots and grok become sentient and decide to make beautiful music instead.

― Heez, Thursday, January 29, 2026 12:01 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

rare earth? no, heavy metal

― lag∞n, Thursday, January 29, 2026 12:19 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

+1

I think there are actually quite a lot of canon takes here. I mean, this entire board is firmly far left as far as I can fathom. And my deepest convictions are all far left as well but I have a number of loosely-held feelings and suppositions that I would never in a million years share here unless I was itching to get shouted down and accused of perpetrating grievous injury.

― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Wednesday, February 4, 2026 5:12 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

is your opinion about Bad Bunny?

― Gentler Death Squads Please (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, February 4, 2026 5:30 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Sarah Ferguson rumored to be about to flee the UK

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/2167088/sarah-ferguson-move-epstein-latest

― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), Friday, February 6, 2026 10:43 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I gotta feeling that tonight's not gonna be a good night for her

― calmer chameleon (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, February 6, 2026 12:36 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Prince Harry’s collection of AFU badges goes hard pic.twitter.com/8inRFRUlG3

— Vatnik Soup (@P_Kallioniemi) February 5, 2026

after all these years, Harry still doing Nazi cosplay.

― calzino, Friday, February 6, 2026 4:35 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Which one's the Nazi one?

― peace, man, Friday, February 6, 2026 5:37 PM (forty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

The one with the beard.

― The Olde, Old, Very Olde Man. (Tom D.), Friday, February 6, 2026 6:02 PM (twenty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

if someone told me I looked like Steve Bannon I'd take off two of my polo shirts

― mh, Monday, February 9, 2026 10:33 AM (thirty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i would put on more shirts

― lag∞n, Monday, February 9, 2026 10:34 AM (thirty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmaooo

I didn't realize we could redo elections, how far back can we go?

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, February 17, 2026 12:30 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

the cutoff is Dewey/Truman

― Andy the Grasshopper

bill kristol anti-cimex butt flap

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, February 19, 2026 9:35 AM (fifty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i initially mistook coprolalia for “coprophagia” and was wondering what was on the menu at the awards dinner

― Mollusk, Virginia (Boring, Maryland), Monday, February 23, 2026 4:05 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Unplugging my crock pot now, thanks for that

― Abby Gore (Neanderthal), Monday, February 23, 2026 4:18 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

...now I'm wondering what it was plugged with

― Tell me who sends these infamous .gifs (bernard snowy), Monday, February 23, 2026 5:01 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

ffs

― Francis Fuck Coprolalia (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 3 March 2026 22:08 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

sorry wrong thread

― Francis Fuck Coprolalia (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 3 March 2026 22:10 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

completely accidental, as all the best things are

evergreen post imo

l was at my car dealer and they had the TV in the waiting lounge tuned to what looked like an all Jamie Oliver channel

― Mollusk, Virginia (Boring, Maryland), Friday, March 6, 2026 10:11 AM (one hour ago)

That's the special TV channel they have to discourage people from hanging around in their waiting lounge

― Francis Fuck Coprolalia (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, March 6, 2026 10:12 AM (one hour ago)

my local jiffy lube has some cooking / travel channel on and it's surprisingly good lol.

I stopped going to my local JL when after two years of patronage and my car engine overheats I realized they were scamming me: they'd never replaced oil. I blame Jamie Oliver.

WTAF

Jiffy Nolube

^ worst sex act ever

iffy lube

i don’t even remember what thread that’s from! (CAaL’s response and my post)

more like Samey Oilver

Caused by a typo, but made me rofl:

airstrikes have never successfully changed a refund iirc

― maf you one two (maffew12), Monday, March 9, 2026 8:47 AM

....

Yea I leveled a Sears once and they only gave me store credit

― Strawmandalorian (Neanderthal), Monday, March 9, 2026 8:54 AM

neanderthal low key one of the funniest people here

loooool

xp otm

neanderthal low key one of the funniest people here

v much so and also one of the smartest and most emotionally literate

Oh, I just asked ai to summarize the constitution for me, saved so much time. It’s basically as important as agility and charisma, and it can be changed with items

https://apnews.com/video/a-drone-looking-for-a-missing-man-in-estonia-finds-a-bear-awake-after-hibernation-eb9284922782499c868df04483bf9174

― willem, Thursday, March 12, 2026 12:51 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

"Ha, check out this little guy."

"OMG, he's so cute!

"Look at him wigging out!"

"Sooo, have you found my son yet?"

― pplains, Thursday, March 12, 2026 1:54 PM (fourteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

current rumors on twitter are that elon has a botched penis implant, pass it on
― 龜, Tuesday, 18 February 2025 bookmarkflaglink

Getting confirmation from reliable sources.

Grimes told me this too https://t.co/I6RG1qWeQK

— Azealia Banks (@azealiaslacewig) February 16, 2025

― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, February 19, 2025 8:59 AM (one year ago)

100% willing to believe these rumors from a year ago lol

― octobeard, Friday, 13 March 2026 01:24 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

groims oim afraid theyve mashed me weiner ets heaps disfigured

― lag∞n, Friday, 13 March 2026 01:48 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

In response to ranking the popular art forms:

come on now, it's clearly music > written fiction > movies > two dimensional still visual art > TV > sculpture > collage > cakes > those old billboard adverts for cigarettes where they couldn't actually show smoking > shadow puppets made from donkey skin > breakdancing > music reaction videos > intensely sour sweets called things like "toxic waste" > whittling whistles from reeds > a nice cup of tea and a sit down > music hall > just getting on a bus at random then trying to find your way back without using your phone.

― Francis Fuck Coprolalia (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, March 16, 2026 5:34 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

whittling whistles from reeds too low

what's wrong with a nice cup of tea and a sit down? or do you mean the website?

just getting on a bus at random then trying to find your way back without using your phone also too low tbrr

This is just the top 1% of the list, these are all top tier things.

maybe it's because I'm drowning in work and parental responsibility atm but "just getting on a bus at random then trying to find your way back without using your phone" sounds like an impossible paradise to me rn

I used to do it in cities I visited during my traveling days. Or get a bike and just cycle until I'm in the countryside. This is pre-smartphone so there was the frisson of getting proper lost.

I love a good frisson

where is it stated that Carpenter wasn't there?

this is the dumbest shit

― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), 27 March 2026 21:44 (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Luke 24 iirc

― Wichita Referee's Assistant (darraghmac), Sunday, March 29, 2026 6:01 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

this thread sure is a Rorschach test

― Mollusk, Virginia (Boring, Maryland), Monday, March 30, 2026 9:47 AM (fifty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

was wondering why i thought i saw my parents arguing upthread

― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, March 30, 2026 10:28 AM (eleven minutes ago)

lmao

Oh nice.

The rise of April Fools scolds on social media is really depressing. "No jokes because the world is on fire! Some of us are traumatized and don't find these jokes funny!" Oh ok maybe log off for a bit

― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), Wednesday, April 1, 2026 4:53 PM bookmarkflaglink

don't you know this is the April Fool Scold Thread? do better.

― Mallard Reaction (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, April 1, 2026 4:56 PM bookmarkflaglink

WASHINGTON — The CIA used a futuristic new tool called “Ghost Murmur” to find and rescue the second American airman who was shot down in southern Iran, The Post has learned.

The secret technology uses long-range quantum magnetometry to find the electromagnetic fingerprint of a human heartbeat and pairs the data with artificial intelligence software to isolate the signature from background noise, two sources close to the breakthrough said.

they're just writing Babylon 5 fanfic at this point

― encino morricone (majorairbro), Tuesday, April 7, 2026 4:26 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

the sad thing is it gave him havana syndrome

― lag∞n, Tuesday, April 7, 2026 4:28 PM

dang the catholics really make up some wild shit

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, April 8, 2026 1:39 PM (thirty-six seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

don't look up the immaculate conception

― obvious old hat (rob), Wednesday, April 8, 2026

lying flotus

― omar little, Thursday, April 9, 2026 5:34 PM (four hours ago)

ok that's a great one

wow nice

It's an alltime classic.

superb

it went right over me last night. My dyslexia brain corrected the spoonerism I think!

phenomenal

yes, all timer

💯

Really good run of late actually

https://memes.memedrop.io/production/D301PX6o86J9/source.gif

ya I've been fascinated with that album for a while, can't think of another artist in their prime who deliberately tried to tank their own career like that

― frogbs, Friday, April 10, 2026 7:02 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Neil Young?

― Lee626, Friday, April 10, 2026 7:07 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

You can never be sure anything Neil Young does is deliberate.

― wipes chooser (unperson), Friday, April 10, 2026 7:45 PM (fifty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

he is a "special envoy for global partnerships" xp

― treeship., Friday, April 10, 2026 6:21 PM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

xp that sounds like the NYT describing a sex trafficker

― obvious old hat (rob), Friday, April 10, 2026 6:40 PM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Tying together the songwriting and men and masculinity threads, RIP David Allan Coe, 86.

― Strait of Merzbow (Eazy), 30 April 2026 02:59 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

wow i somehow thought he’d already passed

― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), 30 April 2026 03:46 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

oh damn... I don't know if it's ever been confirmed but it's rumored that he did some blatantly racist rockabilly sides as 'Johnny Rebb' or something like that

He looked to be on death's door for several years but rest in peace DAC

― Andy the Grasshopper, 30 April 2026 04:32 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

It's no rumor, he most certainly did a bunch of explicitly racist (etc.) songs, lol. He also wrote a handful of the best country songs of all time, too, so I guess there's that.

― Josh in Chicago, 30 April 2026 04:38 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Ted the dog from Gone Fishing

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/2026/gone-fishing-ted

― Throw It Down Binman (Camaraderie at Arms Length), 30 April 2026 13:38 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

(take that, americans)

― koogs, 30 April 2026 13:40 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

didn't write a single racist country song in all of his 13 years

― Throw It Down Binman (Camaraderie at Arms Length), 30 April 2026 13:42 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Ignored all the dog whistles.

― Alba, 30 April 2026 14:23 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I still struggle with her diphthongs a little bit but I don’t think these have gotten any worse over the past two decades and may even be slightly improved here.

― Tim F, Friday, May 1, 2026 4:44 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hey, let's not police her choice of clothing

― Halfway there but for you, Friday, May 1, 2026 4:49 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

me and a pun

― dream mummy (map), Friday, May 1, 2026 5:10 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

(Re: Tori Amos)

I don't really think of Peter Jackson or Zach Snyder as auteurs. They just do large scale franchise stuff for the most part. Now 90s Peter Jackson, that was something else.

― The Quaker Gurvitz Army (President Keyes), Tuesday, May 5, 2026 4:39 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah but snyder subsumes all of that franchise stuff into his own style (not a good thing)

― the manda-**whore**-ian and **hoe**-gu (voodoo chili), Tuesday, May 5, 2026 4:41 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

hence, auteur!

― boners for bombs (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, May 5, 2026 4:45 PM (nineteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

You're not a true auteur until you do a film about growing up in Brooklyn

― The Quaker Gurvitz Army (President Keyes), Tuesday, May 5, 2026 4:46 PM (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

You're not a true auteur until you do a film about growing up in Brooklyn

― cryptosicko, Tuesday, May 5, 2026 4:47 PM (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

you're not a true auteur until you do a film about growing up in Brooklyn the owls of ga'hoole

― the manda-**whore**-ian and **hoe**-gu (voodoo chili), Tuesday, May 5, 2026 4:54 PM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Would literally roast my own hands and eat them in a sandwich before voting for any of these.

― calzino, Wednesday, 20 May 2026 21:01 (fifty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

that is going to be in my head forever ty calz

chew up a couple of hands and use the resulting paste as a sandwich spread between two intact hands.

The best thing about that video was the hi-fi stereo music track, the first VHS cassette i owned that had it.

Of course, I recorded "Love Cats" off it onto cassette for my car mistake. Used to mess with the old gang when we drove out places...

― Mark G, Wednesday, May 20, 2026 2:48 PM

Mix tape. Dammit this new phone's spelling corrector is even worse than my old palm pre3.

I fixed hi-fi as it changed it to "hits first" but why?

― Mark G, Wednesday, May 20, 2026 2:52 PM

Welcome to my worm

― rameau in the main room (dog latin), Wednesday, May 20, 2026 3:06 PM

vg+

chew up a couple of hands and use the resulting paste as a sandwich spread between two intact hands.

― omar little, Wednesday, May 20, 2026 11:30 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

fuck roasting a hand

Wouldn’t that be a handwich?

a sandwich is a sandwich, a handwich is a meal

One name for each of the six genders obviously

― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, May 28, 2026 11:57 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Enter the 36 Genders

― The Quaker Gurvitz Army (President Keyes), Thursday, May 28, 2026 12:00 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol

― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, May 28, 2026 12:32 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

^^^^ possibly the worst excelsior ive ever seen

And it was already a low bar

There was a bar?

beer and wine only

It was the 'lol' that made it.

I cannot detect humor unless it is indicated by lol

lol

thread was prob clipped wrong not only is there the trailing lol but seems like were missing a post setting it up

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:saqzqcndhpqdc3gk22f5slke/bafkreiaeoa4qjmbl6vwuht7a33b4b5hrbh46smgfuvvjnyilttrp2bhimi

Why does he go by all these names? Is he a Wu Tang member or something?

― The Quaker Gurvitz Army (President Keyes), Thursday, May 28, 2026 12:40 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

One name for each of the six genders obviously

― paper plans (tipsy mothra), Thursday, May 28, 2026 12:57 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Enter the 36 Genders

― The Quaker Gurvitz Army (President Keyes), Thursday, May 28, 2026 1:00 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

what we need is an independent commission to determine whether it was funny or not

A chancellor of the excelsior.

Excelsior executive!

sorry I messed up everyone

I c&pd wrong

you have sullied this thread for the Britishers, you’re banned for a week

lol used to mean something

lots of love

i think we need a more generous ethnography of the excelsior thread.

it's never funny because the people who see the c+p'd joke weren't in on it to begin with. there's always a social bond that makes something funny.

and that's ok.

i think the impulse to c+p a joke into the excelsior thread is to "make the feeling last" by sharing it, but of course that isn't what happens. instead we get a waldorf and statler type situation where everyone bonds over banter about how the joke isn't funny. a tender tragedy.

good observations for sure. case in point: 95% of the humour on ilx now consists of music-based puns, which can be funny but are more like excruciating when pinned to the excelsior wall

lol used to mean something

hilarity is in the gutter

used to be youd work on a joke for weeks polishing it to a hilarious sheen, the whole town considered doing it any other way to be disrespectful

ok well believe me this will not be a problem in the future

today it's hard to tell what's a joke and what isn't with the way the young people are telling them

this thread is like a zoo for jokes, it's just kind of sad

It was all jokes here, once...

The real excelsior was the friends we made along the way

All 36 of 'em.

lol

Living it up at the joketel California

Discussed with old friends this past weekend how strange it is that we all went to the same summer camp (for nerds) with Zuck, though we never knew him— punk/queer kids into philosophy and writing didn’t mix with the engineering kids .

― a tv star not a dirty computer man (the table is the table), 01 June 2026 19:42 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

you kids had a lot of early life specialization

― mh, 01 June 2026 19:56 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

posted in love

no mixing here at the joketel California

We haven't had that lol in here since...