this thread is a support group for abysmally depressed fuXors

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― sad bastard, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:14 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:17 (twenty-three years ago)

:-(

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Good olde Sucidal Tendencies.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

The medicine's not working too well, lately.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:19 (twenty-three years ago)

My name is Kate and I am abyssmally depressed. Maybe we could, like, flirt or something, hstencil.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Sounds like a good idea to me!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

feel free to log out if you need to whine anonymously

― sad bastard, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

(btw kate I've only seen Sex and the City once, and my jury's still out.)

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I am so sad that I consumed an entire pizza and a 70% cocoa bar of chocolate, and I still whinged so much when my housemates came home that they bought me a vodka to shut me up. Fancy a drink?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:27 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, please. I'll have a bourbon with a valium chaser.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, can I please just say now that I've decided that I don't really give a fuck about Sex and the City, and I'm kind of embarrassed by how that thread has spiralled out of control. Sigh. It's my thread and I have nothing to add to it.

Ah, Suzy just put the Kills record on. Getting better. WHy is it dark nasty music makes me feel happier?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

WHy is it dark nasty music makes me feel happier?

I don't know. I need to leave work and go home and listen to "I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night" while I drink some bourbon.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I always think of that as a wonderful happy amazing psychedelic anthem because of the lovely buzzing tremolo. Until you listen to the lyrics, and then you realise it's about obsession and unrequited lust. Like most of the best things are.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:32 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.nibsindia.com/images/poster4.jpg

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:33 (twenty-three years ago)

heh, put me on this list.

how is the kills record?

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:33 (twenty-three years ago)

there's very few things about/in my life that do not inolve obsession and unrequited lust, kate.

well, besides my shitty job.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.nibsindia.com/images/poster5.jpg

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

That's like me at the bar, JBR.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I will admit that the giant food picture thread is pretty cheery, though!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

It's one of the few recent records that Suzy and I agree on. It's like PJ Harvey (rid of me era) fronting Sidewalking era Mary Chain. With a scary nasty early Sisters of Mercy drum machine pummelling the background. Not the most original music, but good for bad, foul, dark PMS sorts of moods.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.buffalowings.co.jp/suicidal.jpg

― sad bastard, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

"poster"?

hmm okay. I saw like one song live once, but I don't really remember anything abt it. Are they getting big?

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

You guys are totally harshing my mellow.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I probabaly need medicine, but I would rather just have my own way all the time. And if I can't have that, I would rather suffer.

― rainy (rainy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

they're a bit hyped UK-side right now. Like, Suzy just interviewed them for Edgy Style Magazine.

Sigh. Sorry to harsh yer mellow, yer mellowing our mean, Chris! Maybe you should share yer valium, hstencil!

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:41 (twenty-three years ago)

but kate valium goes best with bourbon!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:43 (twenty-three years ago)

hmm maybe an edgy style mag would pick me up

(okay how sad is that [not the first time I've thought it either] "maybe things would be better if I just got a few more magazines")

off to put my bills in the mail! feliz, fukkerz!

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

"WHy is it dark nasty music makes me feel happier?"

Probably for the same reason Nick Drake's music comforts when I'm feeling depressed. Misery loves company?

― mike a (mike a), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:45 (twenty-three years ago)

People try to tell me that I need medicine of some sort. I don't think so. I can point fairly accurately to the things that are bringing me down, but don't seem able to do anything about them.

Ah well, just got a text from our bassist saying that she's spoken to the manager and we are supposed to have a definite answer on this tour by tomorrow. 24 more hours of tenterhooks...

I suppose I should be grateful that we are on tenterhooks about such a glamourous and cool thing, but right now it's just stressing me out. On Wednesday night, I was just perfectly happy with how things were. In the worst case scenario, we will end up with exactly how things stood on Wednesday, so why does this seem like settling now?

Even if we do get this tour, Horton still won't love me, so why should I bother?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Amherst is like the epicentre of all things unholy and wrong in the United States.
-- Ally (mlescau...) (webmail), March 15th, 2003 6:57 AM.

And I'm there right now.....

― brg30 (brg30), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:47 (twenty-three years ago)

The only time magazines cheer me up is when I'm in them. heh. Actually, I got a clipping from a magazine today that someone *else* namedropped me in an article! That was really sweet. OK, I should be happy. OK, this is something really kinda cool, that young women in their late teens and early 20s actually think of me and my band as some kind of role models. That is something I'm quite proud of, and should feel really good about, that I've inspired other people to do something and be creative and make music and stuff. Yay.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:49 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.wbbc.wellington.net.nz/images/BaarbieLOGO.jpg (edited by moderator -- picture was v. v. large)

― s.b., Friday, 14 March 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Because it's a tour, Kate! All sorts of new DDBs from exotic ports of call! They will be better than Horribleton.

The mellow-harshing comment was just a joke: I am not abysmally depressed right now, thankfully, but I have certainly been in the abyss before and I am probably a little further down right now than I think I am -- if that makes sense. But it's all for stupid reasons. Well, half of it -- the lack-of-boy reasons -- are fairly stupid and annoying.

Anyway. Stay off the drugs if you can but if you want I'll give you some of the Vicoden from my recent illness... That probably goes all too well with bourbon.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

oops! sorry.

― s.b., Friday, 14 March 2003 22:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I really like the Kills record, fwiw

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:57 (twenty-three years ago)

somebody please pity me.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I am sad. Maybe tonight's the night for a little old-skool sorrow-drowning. This would require getting dressed, so on the other hand maybe not.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:02 (twenty-three years ago)

cheer up!

http://www.choppersbar.com/bsr/glowcat.gif

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:03 (twenty-three years ago)

christ.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Argh. And I pick up the Guardian review and there's this massive fuckoff article on the Bangles just to remind me. If they're in London, why the fuck are we having all these transAtlantic squabbles trying to get hold of people in LA?

UGH! I just drank Suzy's Ice by mistake and now I've got lipstick on me.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:05 (twenty-three years ago)

What, did you all get drunk, and now no one is depressed any more?

Or did I ruin yet another thread with my self obsessed solipsistic blathering? Sigh.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:13 (twenty-three years ago)

no, still sober.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:18 (twenty-three years ago)

It's like PJ Harvey (rid of me era) fronting Sidewalking era Mary Chain. With a scary nasty early Sisters of Mercy drum machine pummelling the background

I must have this! And I'm not even depressed, I'm just indifferent.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait, you are maybe going on tour with the Bangles?!

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:23 (twenty-three years ago)

This is the Kills we're talking about? Hm! I believe something might be up via Secret Sources...

And yes, Chris, that's the hope. Cool, isn't it? :-) Here's to it actually happening!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:23 (twenty-three years ago)

We'll know tomorrow...

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, kate.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Which of you depressed people is on AIM now?

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I feel so woefully out of the loop. I didn't realize the Bangles were still an active concern. (Or a reactiviated one?) And I have spent the past week reigniting my love of "Manic Monday" and debating whether we should try out a cover version.

Wow. Eeek I hope this works out for you.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, JBR, if it's any consolation you get a shout out from Christgau (of sorts) in his Norah Jones review in the latest voice (4th para down).

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Apparently this refers to another Jody Rosen...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

go outside, you mentalists

(it worked for me. kinda. then it started raining.)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I was outside. The train ride home just depresses me.

Art Ensemble of Chicago's cheering me up a bit, tho.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned: you sure?

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I mean, two Jody Rosen's who are willing to speak positive of Norah Jones, in the one world?

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't want to go outside. It's chucking out time at the pub downstairs and my street is overrun with scary cycle messengers who are being VERY LOUD. At the end of this Smirnoff I will probably go to bed.

No, I will probably go and stare at the extremely blurry and badly photoshopped photo where you can just about make out the tip of Horton's button nose and whinge "Why don't you LOVE me?" for an hour, and then go to bed and cry myself to sleep. But whatever...

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:37 (twenty-three years ago)

JBR herself has said there's another one out there she keeps getting confused with!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:37 (twenty-three years ago)

She should change her name to "Die Toten" Rosen.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:39 (twenty-three years ago)

From the ILX FAQ:

Is the Jody Rosen I just saw in my local bookshop/music paper/Private Eye the same as ILX's Jody Beth Rosen?

No. Jody Rosen is a guy who writes about music. Jody Beth Rosen also writes about music but is not a guy.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:40 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.danchris.com/music_top_25/toten_hosen.gif

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:41 (twenty-three years ago)

kate you don't have AIM?

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I'm a bit upsad, I just had a spurious fight with my gf, for no reason and I could only keep saying "I don't understand. I can't understand." over and over like a dick. So now I'm listening to Scooter's "Weekend", Toby Keith's "I Wanna Talk About Me", Blazin' Squad's "Love On The Line", Manowar's misogynist-mayhem "Blood of Kings", and Bangalter & Falcon's "So Much Love to Give" (thanks Ronan!).

FWIW I like JBR a lot more than this JR d00d impostorino.

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Suzy has posted often enough about why we don't have AIM. Neither of us would ever leave the house again.

A bottle and three quarters of smirnoff ice down and I'm actually out of a scowl and into merely flatline. Heh.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:45 (twenty-three years ago)

As Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares to You" filters through the speakers...

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:46 (twenty-three years ago)

well dang, no realtime flirting then.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Delayed transatlantic flirting has the disjointed out of time unreality that suits my life... good god, we're meta-flirting about flirting. God have mercy on our souls... sigh.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:47 (twenty-three years ago)

hey, it works for me!

(p.s. I am listening to free ja22)

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, but are you rockin' out on Resonance FM? ;-)

I am listening to... I'm not listening to anything. The Kills record has ended and I haven't put anything else on. I like to listen to silence at home now that I listen to music all week at work. It's been the Lilys all week long. I am pharaoh and you will live inside this box like my slave, or however it goes.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Art Ensemble is going off in a second, then we get some Electric Prunes up in dis beyotch. Then I gotta think about changing/eating/going to poker game with the other reindeer.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I am listening to the Ramones and Ellen Foley and t.A.T.u.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:55 (twenty-three years ago)

question: when you read about other people's depression, or read direct accounts of depression by other people, do you think to yourself YOU PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IZZZZZZ!!!

I think that every single time. This is certainly presumptious/naive, but I just wonder if everyone else does this too.

― Aaron A., Friday, 14 March 2003 23:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Electric Prunes are making me think of transatlantic flirting.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Sigh. Ed and Ambrose took all the beer from this bitch.

So I guess I have no choice but to take one more look at The Button Nose and then shuffle off to bed. Goodnight.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:58 (twenty-three years ago)

awwww. *sniff*

― hstencil, Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm all alone.

*crickets chirping*

― hstencil, Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:10 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm here!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay here! But I'm about to leave for home...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:20 (twenty-three years ago)

It's 6:30 CST Friday evening and I'm still at work, with the end barely in sight. I'm not quite depressed, but I'm getting there!

― Amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I am listening to Blue Oyster Cult and Beki Bondage and Adam Ant.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm listening to "Wichita Lineman" overandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverand.

Also Sterling A. Brown.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm listening to "Wichita Lineman" overandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverand.

i did this last week.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 15 March 2003 00:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm coming off a pretty serious malaise but still in the middle ground where I might degenerate back into misery again so posting here isn't so grebt mebbe.

But hstencil we can flirt on AIM.

― Leee (Leee), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Listening to the Marilyn Decade right now. Head flat on table.

― Chris Barrus (xibalba), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Amateurist, I sent out the Kirsty CDs today! Hi everyone, I'm not abysmally depressed so I shouldn't really stick around. Anyway, I have to meet my neighbors for dinner at La Villa Sombrero. And I've been listening to Tatu for the past hour.

― Arthur (Arthur), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Man I can't even flirt with a straight guy. *sobs*

― Leee (Leee), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Merci, Arthur!

I'm still at work. Grr.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Can we all still whinge? Blah blah blah no girlfriend blah blah blah debt blah blah blah flunking university blah blah blah no future blah blah blah I hate my life and my flatmates and everyone I know. Fuck it, I'm off to bed.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:56 (twenty-three years ago)

hey all i am feeling like shit i have been sitting at the computer for too long but i want to read but it is too much pressure to read a hard book because i will worry that i am missing something. also, i dont own any easy books. i keep forgetting to buy them.
i hope everyone feels better!

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I've only just realised that my old teen psychiatry group meetings were scarily like ILX. There was this one kid who was obsessed with Mystikal. And another that looked like Hilda from Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 15 March 2003 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

still depressed but getting better and getting drunk. just got this referral to my blog:

"view for free 2 women fuckin each other 4 free"

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 15 March 2003 04:33 (twenty-three years ago)

hey, there ain't none of that on yr blog. unless you hide that somewhere

― ron (ron), Saturday, 15 March 2003 04:38 (twenty-three years ago)

naw i aint givin that shit away for free (get that money get paid)

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 15 March 2003 04:41 (twenty-three years ago)

"view for scrilla 2 women fuckin each other 4 bank"

― ron (ron), Saturday, 15 March 2003 04:48 (twenty-three years ago)

:-(

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 15 March 2003 08:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Slept. Still feel like shit. Guess who doesn't even bother returning my emails any more. Going to spend all day in the studio recording today. This idea used to fill me with joy, now I wish I could just spend the time on the couch staring blankly into the space above the TV.

― kate (suzy), Saturday, 15 March 2003 09:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Here is how depressed I am now. Went for a walk and listened to Loveless on the headphones. And it just sounded like a mush of undistinguished noise. I've lost the ability to love music any more. I am beginning to feel like that man destroyed something in me. Almost like he broke something in me, or I used him to break something in me that was important and that I need. I was playing with fire the whole time, playing with the fundamental core things that make me *me* - my love of music, my crushes, my writing - these things that are so tied together and now I've really broken it and I've broken me and I'm really scared.

― kate (dali), Saturday, 15 March 2003 11:33 (twenty-three years ago)

This *will* get better, K8. (trust me, it will)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 15 March 2003 13:23 (twenty-three years ago)

The worst thing about depression is that when you're at the bottom, it honestly feels like you're never going to feel any other way ever again.

At least Jesse got Cubase working so I can go and record now. That will make depression lift. Spend all day in the studio obsessively playing songs about the stupid twats that made you depressed in the first place over and OVER and OVER again. :-)

― kate, Saturday, 15 March 2003 13:49 (twenty-three years ago)

New Editor Boy at Edgy Style Mag actually listens to me when I tell him I now have mortgage to pay and immediately offered me a 600-word Kills piece so he didn't have to do it. It was VV/Alison, and she was really sweet. By coincidence, Kate sprung the fact of having guesties so on Tuesday off we went. They were good but I also liked their support, a 3-piece from Sunderland called Futureheads who are produced by Andy Gill from Gang of Four and sound like they are, voice-wise, channelling Adam Ant, Queen and XTC but minus the pastoral. Kate didn't like this band AT ALL. I look at how our tastes diverge and think, 'oh well, between us we like most things that are good' - yeah Nuggets and psych is 'good' but I can't hack it; Kate is same way about anything vaguely Electro. She tries to catch me out as an ex-Goth but I swear there's no truth in it.

Was quite down a couple of weeks ago but have started a rather aggressive programme of going to clubs and launches (guest lists have their advantages when you're skint) and finally got myself into a more confident mood. So I'm going to see Blinging Interiors Mag on Tuesday - maybe they'll give me a job with a decent wage and budget for once.

― suzy (suzy), Saturday, 15 March 2003 15:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Beware the Ides Of March....5 more hours of absolutely nothing to do at work. Can't listen to music and its the first day in months its been 50 degrees out side. *sigh*

― brg30 (brg30), Saturday, 15 March 2003 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

i was abysmally depressed friday night/most of yesterday, but mark s sent me a nice email which cheered me up :-) listening to introverted, crawl-back-into-my-shell-when-the-world-kicks-me-in-the-face music, e.g. new Cat Power record, "Exile in Guyville," etc. Yes I know the sun's shining and I should be listening to Junior Senior, but, y'know, sometimes life's like that...

― Marcello Carlin, Sunday, 16 March 2003 12:51 (twenty-three years ago)

still kinda down, but found a cool Michael Ochs-compiled Taschen book of album cover art on the street on my way back from the all-night diner after the FAP.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 16 March 2003 12:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Still stretched on tenterhooks about the Bangles thing, but... went to HMV to look at the sales this morning, and found a copy of THE TEARDROP EXPLODES GREATEST HITS for only £6!!! Yay!!!

And, erm, a note in my inbox from ET saying that my Horton article was "brilliant" and it's going in regardless. So at least something good came out of that whole mess...

― kate (suzy), Sunday, 16 March 2003 13:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay for Kate! I look forward to reading it.

― Nicole (Nicole), Sunday, 16 March 2003 13:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm feeling down after coming back from Austin b/c I don't know why I ever left. Oh wait, yes I do, to live with some guy who turned out to be a hateful, abusive prick. Uh, yeah me.

I want to move back desperately and miss being with all of my friends. The weight of this longing has oppressed what was otherwise a good weekend.

Also I was counting on my tax refund to give me some cash to use this week (spring break) but have since learned that it's being offset by a state I haven't lived in for 4 years. So know I have only $12 to live on for the next 10 days. :(

On the upside (I guess) I am webbing from my couch on my shiny new laptop. yay.

boo. sniff. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 17 March 2003 03:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Heartbreakingly beautiful morning this morning. Wonder how many more days like this I'm going to lose being cooped up in an office and shouted at... :-(

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 17 March 2003 08:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Some balm for depressives courtesy of the HMV sale -

Various Artists - CHAPEL OF LOVE on Castle, 3 CDs of some-famous/some-obscure girl group 60s singles for THREE POUNDS NINETY NINE! That's 60 or so tracks for four quid and almost all of them are interesting or worth a smile or a chuckle and some of them are of course devastatingly good. Go and buy it miserable Londoners because even if you don't want to listen to it now, when the good times come again (and they will) you'll want it.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 17 March 2003 11:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It is 4am. I have to work tomorrow. This has been an unexpected downward spiral of a day, and for no good reason. Bleh.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 17 March 2003 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

That's a fabulous set that Tom recommends! It has Groucho Marx's daughter on it! And a track called Shoop Shoop De Doop Rama Lama Ding Dong Yeah Yeah Yeah! You can't resist that! If the other Castle set 'Rock The Joint' is in the sale too (I bought them together last year) get that too!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 17 March 2003 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Since I am not in London, Tom and Martin are making me depressed. I want that CD!!

― rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 04:54 (twenty-three years ago)

you don't know what depression is, etc.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:16 (twenty-three years ago)

to which specific "you" are you referring?

i am clinically a reactive depressive. what's your type?

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm going to risk making myself late for work (hell, I called in sick yesterday) by answering this. I wasn't referring to you naturally, I wasn't referring to anyone. I was just echoing Aaron's statement upthread. Actually I was doing a typical thing for me; eliptically alluding to something serious with a tossed-off quip, masking what is really a cry for help. Ha, you know I guess I just want to keep saying it over and over to myself, I need help. Maybe it's part of my condition or something, but I don't expect nor could I ever realize any help from words I'd read here (with all respect to all the fine people I interect with here almost daily); it's just mental. If I can't get out of my head I'm certainly not going to get out of my apartment. You know in an hour I'm going to appear indistinguishable from most of the other people going to office jobs (alhtough who knows what their lives are like), like my boss said when I told her I was sick, I always "present well" ha sure. My goddam fucking epitaph, "he sure looked good". Anyway what was I saying? To answer your second question, I have no idea.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Haha actually what I am is a big drama queen. It's a joke! a big joke kids.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:30 (twenty-three years ago)

My psychatrist called me "highly functional" yestereday which is what I think you're describing Sean. While I know that no one else really sees how close I am to offing myself on a daily basis I know that I probably can't see it in other people either. Every man leads a life of quiet desperation and all that. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

abysmal. . . . i think lately it's sooo tied to my job. it's horrible. goddamn. . .

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Me too. ugh. But that's primarily due to things like, oh, having no goals or interests in life. What's specifically wrong with the job? I worked with "disadvantaged" students briefly (tutoring, not teaching) and dear god it was the most depressing thing ever. Maybe it's time for another career change for you?

― mouse, Monday, 23 February 2004 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so relieved that I got canned on Friday. I was panicked for a bit but now I feel ok. I'm so happy with how this medication works even if it does take me an hour to beat off. I'm sure I'll be back to black-assed depressed by the end of the week. I never want to work again and I hate myself for feeling that way.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 23 February 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I am changing careers mouse, but am trying to hold on till the end of the year. and do as little of the administrative bullshit as possible in the meantime.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

hey I want in on
this depression action too!
count me in. let's change.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I had a careers mouse, to help me on my way.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I got busted for weed this weekend. They showed up at the same time the following night, claiming to smell dank. WTF

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you sure the said 'dank'? If so, that's the best police story I've ever heard.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

It was only CAMPUS SECURITY!

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but you got laid
so don't complain. maybe cops
were lurking here jon!

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Well even so. Is there a drug called 'dank' now, or does it just mean what it's always meant?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

my careers mouse has failed me several times. perhaps such a thing is not a good thing.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I just sit here posting while previewing records or avoiding college work. So horribly depressing. I have to write a short story for a class, but I've read Notes From the Underground waaaay too many times so it all just comes out like this,

"Woke up about 10 times the night before due to the extreme amount of alcohol ingested the night before. ... I can't feel numb anymore. I am sick of shame. I won't do it - I am going to stop caring. This is where I spew it all out so it stops poisoning me anymore because I want my body to stop aching. I am sore about life, a cripple - developmentally disabled from living under grey reign for way too long. ... I want to do some lines of coke. Then later I'd feel more depressed, but that'd be even better. People act like thats a negative effect."

ah ha ha ha thats supposed to be a 'character' - somebody kill me or put me in therapy or something.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, stop stealing from my brain.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Put down the Dostoyevsky. Read Gogol, he is funnier. Of course, Dostoevsky is good on those sorts of personalities that do reckless, self-destructive things and don't actually want to get better.

Today sucks.

― daria g (daria g), Monday, 23 February 2004 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Eesh... I've been futily looking for a job for 4 weeks, and I was finally offered one:

starting in fucking october.

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

eight months pass...

Jesus Christ, I'm depressed.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry to hear that Lee. I too, am depressed, and I can't seem to shake it.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

for leeeeee:

http://www.sportsretort.com/redsox/mueller.anim.gif

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Does it make me a real sad-sack if that actually put a smile on my face?

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

(thanx bnw!)

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no, Leeee! Are you coming back for Xmas or Thanksgiving? Feel like a GTA lock-in maybe? Failing that I will briefly be in Chicago over Xmas myself.

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll be back for Winter.

I feel the worst by myself, obviously, but since a paper's due for me and my classmates on Monday, isolation is necessary.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you know that Alfred Hitchcock had his Northern Cali home somewhere in the vicinity of Mountain View/Los Gatos? I read that the other day and thought of you. Maybe I am the only person who cares about such things, but still...

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't know that!

I've had Hitchcok overload, though. Strangers on a Train, Rebecca, Lady Vanishes, Vertigo in one class, and Rear Window in a month in another. And neither is a Hitchcock class.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Cool!

I bought this
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1891661272.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

and am considering travelling the greater Bay Area and filming old Hitchcock locations w/ my Super-8.

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP STEALING OUR MEME

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I listened to a Cocteau Twins song ("Summerhead" in case you're keeping track) and I was happy but that was 8 hours ago and now I'm sad again.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:09 (twenty-one years ago)

this will male you happier

http://www.edge-inc.net/images/humor/lego-rave.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

or even make you happier

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a great picture.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

i want to kill myself right now

― anony, Monday, 21 February 2005 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

why?

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 21 February 2005 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

eight years pass...

http://randomdysfunctions.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/StressQuote.jpg

If depression is "anger turned inward," I know I turn that anger inwards because letting it out would bring me a shitload of trouble.

― Word Salad Username (j.lu), Saturday, 15 February 2014 01:13 (twelve years ago)

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