giving out your number

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quick survey time:

on the (rare) occasions that someone asks for my phone number, i'm always a little uncomfortable with it. i'm not sure why, i suppose it could be a remainder from when someone could find out where you live (and potentially stalk/kill you) from your home phone number.

so this weekend i was asked for my number twice. both times i said i wasn't comfortable with giving my phone number, and gave an email address instead.

one of my friends thinks this is weird, and said 'the times I've got numbers off girls, I've found it hard enough to get around to calling back anyway (cos, you know, it's a scary thing to do - usually you're drunk when you make the contact, and then you've got to call back sober...). So if I'd asked for a number and been told "no, but here's my email address", I think I'd just interpret that as "I don't want you to contact me, but just to be polite, here's an email address".

girls, do you give out your phone number? guys, would you feel rejected if a girl gave you an email address rather than a phone number? (i know it isn't gender specific by nature, just that i'm asking the question, feel free to mix it up)

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

well, did you want the guy to call you or not?!

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't ever give out my home number, but wouldn't have a problem with giving my mobile number out. I don't think I would take it very well if someone gave me an email address rather than a number!
Oh & way to go lady, 2 diff guys!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i've done that and had it done to me. same with my friends.
no complaints here.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really have much to contribute except to say that yeah, I would totally take it as a rejection.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

not really sure if i wanted them to call. one, probably not (he was the one that bought me a drink and then TOOK IT BACK at gossips). the other one was actually nice. so yeah, it wasn't like i didn't give my number because i didn't like them or whatever...

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i wouldn't. nowadays the shy people send each other texts prior to a phone call, it's more softly softly, so an email address is the same thing but with more words. As long as you explain you check your email every day then it's not a rejection.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

But even if you offer an email address, "I don't want to give you my nunmber" still basically means "sorry, but I think you might be a stalker". And no matter how sensible that might be, I'd still find it a bit rude, and assume it meant "I don't want to be friends with you".

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

colette, what if a real hot guy you wanted to bang asked you for your number?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

giving out an email would be worse. They could put you on spam lists or something, whereas most phones have caller id these days.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

that's such a weird concept... little netgeeks trolling around in bars trying and harvesting email addresses to sell to spammers.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'd take it as a rejection, but its never happened to me so I don't know. But then again I don't usually go asking women I've just met for their phone number, and if I do its past a point at which they'll already have had ample opportunities for rejection.

Its weird though, the potential for creepiness and so forth is just as great with an email address as with a mobile number, if not more so. Maybe its a psychological thing, the factor of the voice in there is unnerving if its someone you barely know.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't think it was rude, I would think it was sensible and would appreciate the opportunity to send a well-thought-out message by email rather than have to stammer like an idiot over the phone. However, I am perpetually optimistic and have been out of the "dating scene" for 5 1/2 years.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

If I ask "what's wrong with giving out a fake number?" does that make me a bad person?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

little netgeeks trolling around in bars trying and harvesting email addresses to sell to spammers.

yeah it is weird, but I could see it happening. Rejected dudes have a way of doing super-creepy things, y'know.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

he was the one that bought me a drink and then TOOK IT BACK at gossips

hahahahahahahahahaha.

i don't think there was anything wrong with not giving that guy your number. he looked like a wrong 'un.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

agreed. but email is a nice between-ish thing to give out where on the passivity scale

text message < email < phone call.

And, like dog latin said 'As long as you explain you check your email every day' and maybe say 'I never give out my number.' or summat, it could be useful.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

On balance, it's fine - adds another layer of defence/distance between the two people, and also gets around the incredibly scary/embarrassing actually having to call them thing. Everyone is cooler via email.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Lauren, he was persistant as well, I'll give him that. If someone refused to give me their number I wouldn't carry on pestering. It's like going "look, I'm a bit creepy after all!"

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

no kidding! gareth and i kept looking over, saying "fuck, he's still at it?".

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Markelby OTM.

I find it very hard to ask for a girl's number. I do suddenly feel like I'll be perceived as some weirdo ("perceived" haha). Email is much easier to ask for and to give out. It somehow feels more friendly. I wouldn't feel bad if a girl gave me one instead of a number. In fact, I'd now ask for the email right away. I mean, you can always give out a fake or rarely-used email account reserved for spam, freaks and weirdos. You know, "i like my vespa" or something stupid like that...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Following on from Rob's point - a chix0r could be impressed by a funny/interesting/quirky email address (like if she were into vespas, or underscores), but not by a phone number, unless you snagged a really cool one with lots of 000s.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't feel bad if a girl gave me one instead of a number.
Rob you dirty boy! ;-)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

who wants to hook up?

― hey baby, i'm (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

if I wanted to date someone who would be impressed by what my email address or phone number is, I probably wouldn't deserve to live.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

my pager number used to be LAY-DADY

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, so one of the two was a bit scary. i just feel that i'm out of practice in getting asked for my number, and since neither of they guys has actually emailed me back, i was wondering if i offended them. i mean, he was so persistant at the bar, why bother if you're not going to follow up?

sigh.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is starting to make me not feel so bad about not being single.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

you most likely deflated his confidence. rightly so, you weren't interested in him, so it's best for everybody.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

hey, colette, can i get your number, girl?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

he was so persistant at the bar, why bother if you're not going to follow up?

Haha he was in a bar at one in the morning, I can't imagine why he'd be less persistant in the cold light of day...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i think matt's saying i'm ugly in daylight...

(although he saw me ill and looking scary in tivoli, so i guess he's allowed!)

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

some people still dont really use email

giving mobile out is fine, i have mine on silent and never answer it anyway

― T 916 lido, se10, *** 3/30 (home is where the heartcore is) (gareth), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i have mine on silent and never answer it anyway

looks like you've made good use of your investment in this miraculous technology.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

aww when girls gave me their email addresses i always thought i was in! no wonder they never replied. :(

also, i guess what the email address actually is matters, too... i mean

compare
[email protected]

[email protected]

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, who the fuck still uses hotmail these days? You'd look a right tool...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

they are apparently giving you 250MB soon though!!!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

it'll be cool again, and they'll colour it all metallic colours and it'll be the miniiPod to gmail's fat ipod.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

email is bad because people can friendster/google you :(((((

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe some girls like really big pictures.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

To be honest, someone having my email would be more useful than my number. I really rarely answer my phone anyway - some of us people are scared of phones.

Can't see why it should make a difference at all. And if they can't get to grips with the fact you would prefer them to email, it would quite obviously end up being a disaster anyway!

― ___ (___), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

when i gave no-drinks guy my gmail account, he thought it was made up. actually, so did the other guy. he'd never heard of gmail. hmmmm. potentially a good screening mechanism!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah all the computer geeks have heard of gmail! *ducks*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmmm geeks.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

My ex came up to me after a show and told me that I should call her sometime to "hang out". I was all "yo, you should call me since I have a mobile and you don't even live at your family's place [which is where the number is]" and she was all "shit dog I can't remember your number except for [###]" and I was like "well, maybe I will call you". So then I was a pussy and friendstered her my number.

I am stupid!

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

since i pretty much only date geeks, that would be an ok screening process!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

HI COLETTE

― JON WILLIAMS PhD (ex machina), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

DO YOU FIND MY ANTI SPAM TECHNIQUES ATTRACTIVE?

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Right....lets look at this.

She gave her your number. You didn't phone, and friendstered her your number, looking a *touch* tight-fisted on the paying for calls front.

Not meaning to be rude, but I am surprised you got to the position of calling her your ex, rather than "this girl I met who never got in touch".

― ___ (___), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, I don't wanna call her house and leave a message with her mom! She lives somewhere else.

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm actually confused by why you didn't give her your number while you were talking to her. or something.

xpost, which makes my question x2

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd be far to blind/naively self confident/arrogant to see an email address as a brush off. (it never has been either)

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

No pen. I didn't wanna appear like I cared too much by getting one! I'm a jerk!

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, the other thing about me (which might not be true of most people, i guess), is that if i don't want to give someone my details, i'm quite happy to say 'sorry, i'm just not interested.' usually.

(xpost-- if you were giving her your number, it would have been her getting the pen, right?)

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

whatever you do - do not give them the email you use here. oh lord i could just imagine what a potential date would drudge-up here if i were to provide her with my "dyspleasure" addy¡

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

dude jon that girl sounds like bad news anyway. Lying about your age is pretty whack.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

If it ever get's to the point of asking about numbers - and that's probably happened about twice in my lifetime, I used to be extremely shy and have been spoken-for for about 5 years now - I normally offer to give them my number as I don't care if they're a mad stalker. I explain why I am doing it - because it is potentially unsafe for a lady to be giving out there number and so far (proven by science) it has gone down well.

However, now we are all in the modern age, email sounds like a much better solution all round.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"get's to the point" hmm... I think I'm finding out why ladies might not want to exchange numbers with grammer like that.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Once a girl asked me to write my ICQ number on her arm in texta. That was weird.

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

whatever you do - do not give them the email you use here.

good point! hadn't thought of that...

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Any girl who addresses me as "shit dog" isn't going to get any Markelby sexin' action, no sirree.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"get's to the point" hmm... I think I'm finding out why ladies might not want to exchange numbers with grammer like that.

Either

a) I am out on a bad ILX in-joke; or
b) Pointing out bad grammar with incorrect spelling = dud.

― ___ (___), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

b) Pointing out bad grammar with incorrect spelling = dud.

this made me laugh, even though (especially since?) i suck at spelling...

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

to be fair I've never actually asked for email/phone I've only ever been given them unprompted (not to make this sound like it happens all the time, it doesn't)

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

No one ever asks for my number.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

that's a lie.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

mandee, be patient! these were the first times in 11 years that it had happened to me, really. that's why it's more like a sociological study to me than anything else...

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm keeping that in mind, Mark.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

11 years? colette, i find that hard to believe. same with you, mandee. have you tried hanging out in gossips at 3am?

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

When I'm out in public I usually sit alone in a dark corner, you see.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i think exchanging email is a good idea in general, actually. i wouldn't be offended but then i never pick girls up in bars.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i also find most people creepy.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

BOO!

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

ew, what is that guy doing?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I would be disappointed if someone gave me her e-mail address instead of a phone number. Call me a technophobe, but I think e-mail and txt messages and stuff like that still feel cold compared to hearing a human voice. And I think the process of being scared of asking her number, and then being scared of calling her and waiting for three days to call her and then finding out she was waiting for your call all the time, is part of the charm of dating. E-mailing someone would make it too easy, somehow.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

My number is NUMBER ONE BABY YEAH!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

someone leave me a voicemail

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

but yeah, not MANY have asked for my phone number (in response to Anthony up above). I don't think I've experienced the delight that Tuomas has described up above.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, to be honest I don't play "the dating game" that much either. The ones I fancy I usually meet through a friend or something, and I have to get to know them before I fall for them, that rarely happens with strangers in a bar.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I think have to fall for someone BEFORE I get to know them.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

So what does the fact that I have your phone number mean, Colette? Should I feel encouraged to ask you out? I have had partners your age and even taller than you in recent years! (Don't worry, I am only joking. I am not an idiot.)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I think people shouldn't always use e-mail or txt messages just because it's easier. Yeah, it's easier, but I feel some things should be dealt personally. Like the time I got a love confession from a girl via e-mail, which felt really stupid. I could've probably just e-mailed her back, but I had to meet her and tell her I didn't fancy her the way she fancied me. It's never easy saying that to someone, and sure it would've been less difficult to say it in an e-mail, but that wouldn't have felt right, for me.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

(x-post)

Tracer, how do you fall for someone you don't know?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope I wasn't sounding smug or anything up there, I didn't mean to accuse anyone for anything, it's just how I feel about things personally.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

It's easy! People go through entire marriages without knowing each other.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not a proper answer; they must've at least *thought* they knew each other when they got married.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, they probably did. Mr Hand just knows the score better than most.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

And on a less high-faluting level, I can certainly fall for someone's attractive behaviour without knowing what really makes them tick.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess you have a point there. At least you didn't give the obvious answer.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn - I missed the obvious answer! What was it?

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I think have to fall for someone BEFORE I get to know them.
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...) (webmail), July 20th, 2004 3:39 PM. (tracerhand) (later) (link)

there is an awful truth to this isn't there?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 01:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm... now I'm reading it as a misanthropic statement.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 06:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The obvious answer: "I fell for her/his eyes/strong arms/boobs/whatever.". Which I never understood. Eyes do not a person make. Nor boobs.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 06:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I am just not good with phones, and I try to explain that to any potential dates. I've tried many ways of getting around this. I've tried "How about you give me your number instead, and I'll call you if I feel comfortable" (which has sucked bigtime, actually, because too many boys get weird about being chased instead of being the chaser.) I've tried explaining "actually, I'm a computer programmer/freelancer, so you've got a much better chance of reaching me by email" which has had more success, but usually only with guys that are computer savvy. Then again, the chances are, that in order for me to actually get along with a guy enough to date him, he'd kinda *have* to be computer savvy.

Christ, though, reading this thread just makes me feel neurotic and nervous and sad about being single again. Sigh.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

> because too many boys get weird about being chased instead of being the chaser.

i think i am missing this gene.

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too! I'd love to be chased. Sometimes I feel it's more like, too many girls *expect* to be chased.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:09 (twenty-one years ago)

That's just not my experience. The boys that I have chased have usually *not* particularly loved it, they've actually been quite frightened of it. But that's probably more to do with me and my personality, and the kind of boys that I'm attracted to. I don't do well with passive boys.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not frightened by it, but it probably does reduce the appeal for me, if I'm honest. I'm not remotely proud of this. It could just be that the ones who've chased me haven't been as attractive anyway, but I don't think so.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Being chased is so much more fun than being the chaser, even if you don't especially fancy the person in question. But then again I am a lazy arse and this way round saves me effort...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I like chasing because I like being in control, it makes me feel safer and more comfortable. BUT, I don't like chasing passive guys, I just feel like I'm going to break/walk all over them. I like chasing guys who make it a game, who invite the chase. It's hard to explain. Sometimes you can misread "not actually interested" for "playing the game" which makes things really difficult and confusing.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:43 (twenty-one years ago)

The boys that I have chased have usually *not* particularly loved it, they've actually been quite frightened of it.

I can completely understand this. I had a girlfriend, who used to call me every day. If I missed the call, she would call up to five times an evening, gradually leaving more distressed phone messages. It really annoyed me, to the point I would deliberately ignore most her calls, as she would call and call and call - and didn't seem to get that I don't want to speak every day. There is nothing else at all to suggest that she is a psycho by any means.

There is a fine balance on someone being keen, chasing, and coming across as a completely unstable person. I fine balance that is judged differently by all.

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:50 (twenty-one years ago)

God, Underscore, you do realise that you were actually *provoking* that behaviour. Did you actually ever *tell* her "Hey, I will get back to you, but I don't need to talk every day" ? Or did you just assume that she would "get it" if you didn't call back? Playing passive aggressive just triggers her worst fears, and provokes more of the behaviour that you don't like.

Girls aren't psychic, you know. You do have to tell them stuff.

Sorry, but that was a BIG problem in previous relationships for me.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:54 (twenty-one years ago)

ummm... i like being the chaser AND the chasee. the whole damn thing is fun - emails, phones, text messages, smoke signals, notes in pockets, whatever. it all goes to shit a few weeks after you start dating anyway...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Deliberately ignoring calls without ever telling the person that you're doing that is horrible, yes.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I did tell her, and she slipped back into the behaviour time and time again - we were together for about 2.5 years, and it was oft discussed.

I am still bemused as how she seemed to think the conversation of "what did you do today?" being met with the response "went to work. had some meetings. ate a sandwich" seemed to provide her with entertainment.

We haven't spoken for over four-five months now. She still calls weekly.

(x-post)

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, well that sounds fair enough then.Oh, well that sounds fair enough then.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

err.. sorry about that.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:01 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, Underscore, that's not so bad then, if you did discuss it.

Me, I'm not an everyday "how you doing?" caller, I only call if something is wrong, or I actually need/want something. A boy not calling me back for days at a time without explanation qualifies as something wrong in my world.

An everyday caller and an on-demand caller are never going to work in a relationship. That's one you're better off without.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:04 (twenty-one years ago)

No problem Alba.

It is a shame - she would be such a good girlfriend if it wasn't for her somewhat possessive nature in this way. I guess some people have this real need to be wanted (either chasing / showing / whatever). I am not really that.

If someone offered me an email address, I would be delighted. I hate phones, and would probably discuss how if they had given me a phone number, I would not have called.

At which point, I think they take the email address back.

(x-post) kate - thanks. The combination of constant phone calls, and then the long phone call complaining about the size of her phone bill gradually wore me down somewhat. As I say, it was a real shame. I should give her a call, come to think of it.

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, Underscore, that's kind of a point. Sometimes compulsive callers can be trained out of it - but only if you're willing to occasionally make the contact yourself. That's all I ever asked, you know?

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I just cannot understand the concept of a phonecall with nothing to say.

Hence I haven't spoken to anyone on the phone for the past four months. Maybe this says a lot more about my defective behaviour than others.

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

The funny thing is, I'm usually the non-caller. In fact, this has ben a complaint of Joe's, my phone phobia, and how I just wouldn't call, either him or anyone else.

I've had to get over it to a certain extent, but I don't like to.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

haha martin's post reminded me actually i actually asked colette for her number AT A BAR! although that same night i also asked Rob Bolton for his number too.. haha I get around.

And the next day we all went for a tennis date! and marianna too. a foursome!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Ken brings up a funny point. There's several people on ILX whose numbers I would actually kinda *like* to have, just to text them and ask them to impromptou pubbing and stuff, but I've never actually asked them. Is that weird? I feel funny asking for someone's phone number, even if it's a friend.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:23 (twenty-one years ago)

aw you can ask me for mine if you like.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

actually the amount of times i've given out my number on various internet places I'm surprised half of london don't already have my number (yet noone ever calls :( )

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

when i say london, i meant london, plus other cities, and possibly some in another country a few thousand miles away.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

here's my line, which you can feel free to steal: "I know this is weird, but my mobile phone is kind of reserved for work emergencies. I keep odd hours, so if that phone wakes me up and it's not an emergency, I'm going to be irrationally furious in that way that you get when you're woken up by a phone next to your ear. So if you want a phone number, you can have my work voice mail, but really email is the best option."

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that a lie?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

not in my case!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel funny asking for someone's phone number, even if it's a friend.

Yes. It still feels creepy. I feel like I have to have a definite event or meeting in mind in order to ask for someone's number. Even then it's a lot easier to text than to speak to people I don't know well on the 'phone. I'm a telephonic social retard.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Keeping a mobile phone for work emergencies only would be a bit weird, for me. I mean, unless I weren't going to use it to make social calls at all. It would be like "I can ring you but you can't ring me." Do you set it to withhold the number from caller ID so that people can't find it out?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I would like to put a point to the discussion.

Have mobile phones destroyed the point of actually "giving" a number? I am aware of many numbers I have got off people (people giving them to me, me asking for them) that I have never dialled. They go in, and I forget about them.

A piece of paper I would typically find and wonder where/why. Things disappear into the mobile and are gone.

The same applies for the gaining of a phone number. It is really difficult to be protective of your number. Someone will have it in their phone, and give it to a friend of theirs (who is a friend of yours), expecting it to be OK. You can't really stop that, bar not being contactable at all.

I am not sure exactly the point of what I am saying. Maybe that giving an email on a piece of paper will be a lot more successful.

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

crikey maybe i'm deformed or something, no one ever asks me for my number OR my email address

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, mobiles have changed things quite a lot, I think. Not that have loads of numbers in the memory that I never call, but I agree they're lower valued than they used to be.

The only awkward moment I find when someone asks me for their number is whether to go through the process of asking for theirs in return. I mean, if they're going to call or text you then you're going to get their number anyway. But it seems rude not to ask.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:45 (twenty-one years ago)

___ has a point. it's all a bit weird now what with all the goddamn laser-tag-PDA-bluetooth-infared-instantinfoswap madness going on with the kids and yuppies etc...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm actually kinda surprised when someone I've (drunkenly) given my number to in a pickup sort of way actually *calls*. But then again, it hasn't actually happened in two years. (Joe actually emailed me, cause I told him I didn't like phones.)

As to having someone's number in my phone, I think of it if they're a person I think of anyway, i.e. a mate who I'd like to go for drinks with. New people, unless they've made a *huge* impression on me (crushwise) I never call them.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah, and... "Can I have your phone number, please, Ken?"

Wow, that wasn't so hard.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:07 (twenty-one years ago)

5346 was my number...

didn't have a phone at Home until i left for university, don't have a mobile nor one on my desk at work and won't answer the one at home until i know who it is.

i'm going to die alone.

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:26 (twenty-one years ago)

email also allows for much more creative wooing/stalking

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Keeping a mobile phone for work emergencies only would be a bit weird, for me. I mean, unless I weren't going to use it to make social calls at all.

this is where not having a social life helps. My weird schedule ensures that I never meet anyone I could strike up a friendship with.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i seem to hate being called more and more as i get older. maybe the fact it was so rarely a cute girl might be something with that i don't know but it seems to have got worse and i never really call anyone now (not even family and friends) unless i'm really bored or there's something in particular to discuss - even then i usually wait for them to call me. i'm more than happy to send people SMS messages and e-mails tho so perhaps it's just the effort required to actually talk...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

(that should, of course, have been 54-46. arse)

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, it sounds like you end up naked and snogging with all your female friends anyway so what's the difference?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

There's more to love than sex + friendship.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Great thread!

I don't get asked for my number really, but people do seem to give me theirs on occasion. I'd probably be more inclined to say "you got a number or an email or something I could have?", thus opening up the concept of electronic communication - this way it's easy to gauge from their reaction whether they're email people or not. It still amazes me that many people of my generation really don't use email.

It would never occur to me to be offended by someone proffering an email address in lieu of a mobile.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Got YOUR number.

― 118 118 (starry), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

...written on the back of my hand.

― Dr .C, Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd be quite happy to receive an email address in this situation. Phone calls for me tend to be a brief means of establishing arrangements. A typically exchange goes "Pub?" "Yeah." "See you then." Phoning "for a chat" is anathema to me. I'm not even that keen on phoning quite close friends, in case it's not convenient. E-mail and texts are much less intrusive and can be more easily ignored if unwanted. Having said all that, I'm often struck with jealousy when I see today's students with mobile phones. When I was at university it was nigh on impossible to make arrangements via the phone, sharing as we did one pay phone between twelve people in two flats. The number of opportunities I could have missed by not seeing the scrap of paper saying "Adam, X will see you in the bar at 6:00"...

― Adam Faithless (Adam Faithless), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I like asking for telephone numbers, because I like calling people and talking to them and meeting them. The only problem I've sometimes encountered is, if you're asking a girl's number, she might think it's for *that* reason, even if I just want to be friends. But things'll usually clear up with time.
-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 21st, 2004 11:44 AM. (later)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuomas, it sounds like you end up naked and snogging with all your female friends anyway so what's the difference?
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), July 21st, 2004 12:51 PM. (later)

eew, what if they call afterwards?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. "kate! it's 07967 755446"

you guys should all call me. and email too!

omg my number is so great!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus ken you are brave. or crazy.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

then again mobile phones are so bloody disposable these days i suppose it doesn't really matter...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, that's about the millionth time Ken has posted his number on the wacky interweb. He likes being stalked. I'm off round to his street after work to stare at him and then hide as he approaches his front door.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, and really (unless people do that cell block tracing thing) it's not like as if i'm giving my home address away or anything.

stalkers can phone me all they like!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahhaa my phone number actually returns results on GOOGLE!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Ken, dude, you so deserve to be stalked for that or something, whoa, I thought you'd just email me! But thanks anyway. I'll text you next time I'm bored and want to go drinking!

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

okay this thread has made me feel completely out of touch with the world and etc. Did I wake up on earth's doppelganger today?

I never have a problem with someone having my phone number. And I wish I had more phone numbers. My cell phonebook is pathetic.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Ken is the Amazing Randy

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

that's ridiculous, ken would never call himself randy.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas, it sounds like you end up naked and snogging with all your female friends anyway so what's the difference?

I think you may have all gotten a somewhat exaggerated image of how my life is...

I'm not even that keen on phoning quite close friends, in case it's not convenient. E-mail and texts are much less intrusive and can be more easily ignored if unwanted.

In my opinion phoning is better than txt:ing and e-mailing, because it allows for immediate two-way communication. I have a friend who, like some of you, finds calling people somewhat awkward, so she often just sends text messages. A typical message from her could be like this: WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE? Now imagine I would continue this conversation with txts: SURE, WHAT MOVIE? -HOW ABOUT XX? -NO. I'VE ALREADY SEEN IT. - OKAY, HOW ABOUT YY? - THAT'S FINE, WHAT DAY? - HOW ABOUT THURSDAY? - NO, I'M BUSY THEN... Etc etc. Since I don't want to pay for sending 10 txt messages, I'll rather just call her and talk things through. E-mails are obviously free, but it's harder to reach someone with an e-mail than with a phone, since you don't carry your computer around. And most of my friends don't even have an Internet connection at home. So I find calling someone a significantly easier way to communicate, plus there's the bonus of hearing her voice.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but see... if you've met someone while drunk at a pub or something, you want to just check to see if continued communication is actually even desired!

This is what happened with Joe and I - he emailed me, about a week later, and asked if I'd like to go out. I emailed back to say that I would, and he immediately called to ask me for a date.

Anyway, oh god, I was trying *not* to think about the good things about my relationship with Joe.

But, anyway, that's the sort of thing I mean.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

numbers on my celly include National Rail Enquiries, my local Pizza Hut, university friends I have not spoken to for about two years and 27(!) ILXers

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, I have over 40 sinisterines on my mobile :)

(just checked - that was before it stopped working - my new one has far fewer)

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, I have maybe 160 numbers on my celly, most of which belong to friends and aquintances. But, admittedly, Finland has the highest amount of cellular phones per capita in the world, and the celly culture is thriving. Most students, like myself, don't even have a regular telephone.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I have 25 Ilxers in my phone... Steve beats me.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

*checks*
wow. i have 12 ILXors in my phone (y'all are in a group, which happens to have more numbers than 'work' or 'family' groups)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, I have 18 ILX0rs in my phone! OK, three of those are only occasional ILX0rs, but still. That's 15 regulars.

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i like to think that more people have my number than i have their numbers because they like to call me so much that i don't need their numbers...

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I never have a problem with someone having my phone number.

me neither. if i don't like someone, i won't give it out. simple. phone hatred is not in my genetic makeup, in fact it's rather the opposite. with the exception of people pestering me about business, I LOVE THE PHONE. i can spend hours talking to my friends on long, hungover afternoons with the tv on low in the background and a cup of coffee and the remnants of the previous night's cigarettes. then there's the joy of text messages... come on, people. don't hate.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Lauren just reminded me of NYC ILX0rs whose numbers I have, but are not in my phone! 6 more of those! Which brings my total to... 24.

Dammit! Rob and Matt and Barry, give me yer numbers so I can beat Stevem!

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(OK, OK, Matt, unlike ice hockey, this actually *is* me being competative. You can be all smug and happy now.)

― Ma$onic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I have three ILXers in my phonebook.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I have none! I win!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I have 23 ILXors. Mandee, am I one of your three?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

tuomas - we are tied¡

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Blimey, I have 25.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i've had ken c's number in my phone for years.

i don't think i've ever phoned him, though.

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

nobody does caitlin.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

apart from those who do. they have to tolerate a lot of bad jokes and wonky accent though.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

you are, Mark!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a number for Mandee in my phone too, but it's some sort of bizarre US cellphone number.

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

it'd be more bizaree if it were a number from azerbaijan

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Caitlin, I think that number belongs to my younger sister now. Call her!!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

you still haven't given me your friend nicole's number

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that Mandee's cute friend nicole with the glasses?

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

with or without the glasses

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes it is, Caitlin! She has a boyfriend, though.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i have one ilxors number and im not positive its hers.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

have you tried calling her?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

no. maybe. i don't remember.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I;ve gotten a few drunken phone calls from some ILXORS. The best was one of Chaki bustin a freestyle.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

aww yeah you know how i do

― Sir Chaki McBeer III (chaki), Sunday, 25 July 2004 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Nobody I don't know ever asked me for my phone number. But one time on the bus a guy was giggling about me with his friend, then he came up and put a piece of paper with his own phone number on it on the seat beside me. About five minutes later, looking incredibly angry, he came back, picked it up, and said 'forget it.' But I wasn't REJECTING the phone number, I was just resting it on the seat beside me. Not that I would have called it.

― m, Sunday, 25 July 2004 07:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Subliminal rejection?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Sunday, 25 July 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

These days, I prefer getting a guy's number than instantly giving out mine. Considering that many of the times I've been hit on have been by men old enough to be my father (or while their gf has gone to the loo), better to be safe than dead.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Sunday, 25 July 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(501) 374-1110. Call me anytime. Keep in mind that I'm on Central time.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 25 July 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

PP, I admire your bravery....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Sunday, 25 July 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Not as brave as this guy.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 25 July 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF? Raising a glass to the most trusting fool in the universe. Has this guy never heard of Google?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Sunday, 25 July 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

+358505641841

But it'll cost you. In money, I mean.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 25 July 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

That, too. Prolly.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Sunday, 25 July 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, if someone really wants to make long-distance prank calls to Finland, then what the hell, I might as well listen. Just remember to make them funny.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 25 July 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Not as brave as this guy.

Or this one.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 25 July 2004 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Whoops. This one:

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 25 July 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Goddammit!
http://www.tedrall.com/2004_07_01_archive.html#109034205945411267

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 25 July 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

email is cool.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 25 July 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.rejectionline.com/

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 26 July 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I only have one ILXor in my phone? (That'd be ESOJ). He sometimes sends me hilarious SMS that say things like "Dear fascist bully boy, give me some more money you bastard" and various Bender quotes. I kept "I'm steering with my ass!" in the saved msgs for ages cos it always made me giggle.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 26 July 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I called Gygax! last night and left him rambling voicemail

― George W. ILX (ex machina), Monday, 26 July 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I am checking my voicemail RIGHT NOW!

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 26 July 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i realised after talking to someone that i wasn't very clear about my original statement. i don't like giving my number to strangers that have no connection to me. so things like having a mutual friend in common or talking on ilx means that it's completely different than 'giving out my number' to random people, in my mind.

i got another ilx phone number this weekend. now i can ring liz in the middle of the night asking for cake! heh heh heh!

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 July 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

(heh heh, and I was actually trying to pimp yer number at the weekend, but then I got drunk(er) and forgot...)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 26 July 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, if someone really wants to make long-distance prank calls to Finland, then what the hell, I might as well listen. Just remember to make them funny.

hahaha who would do something like that???

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

I always give out my number to someone who asks me. Obviously if it was a complete stranger asking me at random it would be quite freaky, but I think of times when I've met someone in the pub when I've been there with a group of mates and maybe they are a mate or relative of someone there and I've only been speaking to them for a few minutes, yet I will give out my number or we'll excahnge nos. It seems a perfectly natural thing to do for me and the popularity of mobiles has made the whole business easier and seem more natural.

Quite odd thing on Friday night - I asked the sister of a workmate for her number She had her mobile there in front of her, yet she gave me her home no. I thought that was a bit odd.

I wouldn't object if a girl gave me an email address rather than a phone no. I suppose emails are easier to ignore tho ;)

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 19 September 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I was on a course recently and a few of us exchanged mobile numbers but there was one guy in particular I didn't really want to give it to but it would have been incredibly rude and noticeable if I'd left him out.

I should have trusted my instinct. He's been phoning me pretty regularly and sometimes withholds his number so I'm not always sure who it is. I've told him politely and firmly that I've got a partner and he said he just wants to be friends but I'm not sure I believe that. I do think he's lonely and I don't want to make him feel bad but I've made it clear that I can't speak to him as regularly as he'd like. If he persists, I think I'm gonna have to be quite rude.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Sunday, 19 September 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

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