Is being "hit on" ever a good thing?

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In other words, you sometimes hear about women being "hit on" by men--not in the physical-violence sense, but in the "Come here often?" sense--and I recently found myself wondering if that could ever be considered a good thing. No one likes unwanted attention, or an unwanted level of attention from someone who's otherwise alright, but if some guy is paying that particular type of attention to you, and you like it, do you think of it as being "hit on"? Or something else? Does "hit on" come to mind only when someone is attempting to make a connection that will never, ever happen? If you've never thought of the semantics behind it, well, please do.

There's no applicable reason to ask this. Just curious. Well?

― Lee G (Lee G), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

By "hit on" does that imply that the intentions are very much clear from the start, as in "'ello bebeeh, you like suck my beeg willy?" or if it's more subtle, like offering to by someone a drink or merely taking interest in them?

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I think being hit on is in the eye of the hitee, so if it's unwelcome it's being hit on, and if it is welcome it's meeting someone really nice.

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

is offering to buy someone a drink subtle?

I think there's a problem in that the view you're being "hit on" instantly makes any interest that the Hitter has in you is purely sexual and therefore would be completely uninterested in you if it weren't for sex.

crosspost

yeah, beanz - someone being sleazy is just someone you don't find attractive finding you attractive (simplification!)

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah we should all just sit on our own, fence ourselves off with barbed wire to repel anyone who might show the slightest interest in us, and moreover forbid any stranger to talk to us unless they have previously submitted an application form, current bank statement and CV. We'd all be so much better off then, wouldn't we?

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

By "hit on" does that imply that the intentions are very much clear from the start, as in "'ello bebeeh, you like suck my beeg willy?"

I guess I'm thinking of something a little more innocuous, more polite. I think of the above as more "coming on," which may need another thread.

― Lee G (Lee G), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

The phrase "May I C on your Ts?" to thread.

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I hadn't posted that

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

But Marcello, you do that anyway judging your behaviour at any night that you actually decide to leave your oxgen tent and deign us with yr presence

― Porkpie (porkpie), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

the phrase "four fingers or five?" to thread.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i wish i hadn't ~~asked~~ posted that.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

'Hit' implies forcefulness, which is never really attractive unless very drunk and/or desperate. Offering to buy people you don't know drinks starts whatever 'relationship' may ensue in the spirit of commerce, like the offeree has to offer conversation or a feel of their tits or whatever in recompense.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

my preferred term is "Sharking".

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"Offeree."

Jesus, no wonder we have to post to dodgy message boards to stay sane.

Oh and Porkpie, I wasn't being ironic. I think it would be a Good Thing.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess I'm thinking of something a little more innocuous, more polite.

My aren't you elegant today! And ravishing! Would you care to fellate me?

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, in that case carry on.

― Porkpie (porkpie), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

sharking

Four fin~~ger~~s or five?

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah i thought mothers are supposed to tell their kids to not accept drinks from strangers

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i like being hit on

― david acid (gareth), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you emo?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

or a drone boy?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Being hit on is always a good thing, even if you aren't interested.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

You only think that because you're a boy.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not always a good thing.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I like being hit on too though it tends to make me wary. In a Groucho- "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member"- way, I wonder what would have to be wrong with a woman to want anything to do with me.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

in fact sometimes it's not a good thing even if you're interested.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I've been hit on ONCE in my life. At the time I was a bit repulsed but in hindsight, if I hadn't been at work in an unflattering uniform I would have gone for it. It can definitely be good.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It's amazing how many boys say that they love being hit on, until they are actually hit on by *me* and then they change their minds really quick.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It's temporarily useful for shoring up fragile self-esteem.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I was hit on last night. It was fairly amusing. Or at least, I was flattered until the bloke's sobbing girlfriend came back from wherever she had gone to. Then I felt like punching him.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Generally people who overtly hit on people are eminently punchable.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i've had my moan about not getting hit on ever, but on saturday night was talked at by too many slimy men. was especially dressed up, ended up at a dirty club. wanted to sit a few songs out and think about welsh canadians, had a drink in my hand, sat in the corner, consciously not making eye contact.

first guy comes up and says 'you look sad. are you ok?' and i was nice enough, but he wouldn't go away, and so finally i said 'look, i'd like to be alone, sorry to be rude, but can i just have a minute?' and he looked mad but left. this happened 3 times, each time my temper was shortening until the 4th guy, when i said 'look. i'm not here to talk to you. please leave.' and then he shouted at me and then followed me around the club for a long time. boo.

so, yeah, it was quite unpleasant, really. and pissed me off that they assumed that because i was a girl sitting by myself, i clearly was hot for their bods. grr.

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah it's dangerous to try and build your self-esteem from being hit on by strangers, like, wow you are hitting on me but you don't even know me... and then you realise that they've pretty much been hitting on everyone else in the bar, fucking bastard. way to make me feel cheap.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

you're just bitter cos the bloke with the dog has a new friend

― Porkpie (porkpie), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought i was special!! :(

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

As Marcello implies, it would be a pretty sorry state of affairs if no one ever tried to chat up anyone.

I think beanz nailed it in his first post - 'hit on' is just, for many people, the negative term for something that's positive if it's the right person.

Personally, I think of it as more neutral than that. As long as the person doesn't become a pain, I am happy to be hit on, whether or not I want to take things any further.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I think (as a dude (and as one that's been in a relationship for 6 years, so this is all theoretical really)) that being hit on in a bar SOUNDS like a good thing, but if it really happened, I would freak out, stammer out some nonsense, and try and get out of the conversation as soon as possible. Then later I would feel sick at myself for not doing anything but hold onto the experience as a faint glimmer of hope. This is part of why I like being in a steady relationship.

― na (Nick A.), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I noticed that N added the qualifier, as if he were perhaps afraid of being hit on by me, to prove a point.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

if I was hit on in a bar, I'd probably be completely oblivious, as usual.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

otm

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I was just being honest, in a way that you rightly complain other people haven't been!

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

unless it's from someone you don't want to etc. and then you (I) just probably pretend you are (I am).

crosspost

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I just find the whole concept of only starting to talk to someone because you have designs on their flesh weird and pressured. It strikes me that making sex the whole purpose of conversation is missing out on a massive swathe of stuff.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's fine. I'm glad that you were honest.

I really need a volunteer to practice being hit on, so I can figure out the right way and the wrong way to hit on boys. Because I invariably frighten off every boy I've ever hit on. (Except maybe Joe, but he was weird.) Not to actually try to get them to sleep with me, but to tell me what I do right/wrong.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd volunteer, but, uh, oh nevermind.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey, did anyone ever tell you that you look like Brian Wilson? Would you like to come home with me and lie in my bed, eating ice cream and writing teenage symphonies?"

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm incapable of being hit on.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Now you've made it look like it was about you! I meant generally, obv.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost to Kate - that's a good start, altho the Brian Wilson thing prolly would just make me sad these days. My hair is the longest it's been since I was 16, though.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, it can be good or bad, but these things arwe not necessarily related to why there is a distinct term - it refers to unilateral action, as opposed to bilateral (flirting). duh?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey, did anyone ever tell you that you look like Brian Wilson?

"are you trying to say i'm fat?????"

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I just find the whole concept of only starting to talk to someone because you have designs on their flesh weird and pressured.

Is it not possible to hit on someone with a view to them maybe being a girlfriend, rather than just a shag?

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

ken c has not seen a picture of me, obv.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

No no Alba it was just an idle observation.

Partly because, like Colette, there are times when I just want to sit and think about Welsh Canadians.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

it refers to unilateral action, as opposed to bilateral (flirting).

I don't necessarily see it that way. The way I see it, one person hits on another and it either gets reciprocated or not. Either way, it still started with a hit.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd be hitting on you if i had hstencil

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I have fantasies about boys hitting on me on the bus. Like, late at night, when I'm riding the 133 home, I imagine that some lovely lad with a great nose and shaggy hair will come and sit next to me and try to read my book over my shoulder, and maybe comment on the lost rivers of South London.

It's a great fantasy, but you know, if a guy ever actually *did* hit on me on the bus, I'd smack him with all 700 pages of Ackroyd's London The Biography.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Still flesh-designs innit. I recognise that I'm strange in this department and would much rather become friends with someone before going out with them. It's to do with social awkwardness being massively magnified by errr romantic paraphernalia, I think.

xpost to Alba.

I'm not opposed to flirting, it's just that it can be really uncomfortable if taken seriously.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

And she wonders why she's alone.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not even ashamed to point out that as a callow youth, there were people I 'hit on' with the hope of only engaging in bedroom gymnastics. It is my experience that some people who are lovely to talk with are mediocre lovers and some people who are a joy in bed are indifferent interlocutors.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost to Kate)

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I see cute girls on the subway all the time (this morning, in fact, I saw one of the cutest girls I've ever seen in NYC, period), but that is soooo not the right place to hit on anybody!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Certainly I've never been hit on at an FAP. Or anywhere else for that matter. Mine is the kind of personality which almost defies familiarity.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

the right situation is the key i guess.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

and this girl was sooo cute too, it's kinda too bad that despite her getting on a stop away from mine, I'll probably never have the opportunity to meet her in any sort of social setting conducive to what this thread's about.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I see cute girls on the subway all the time (this morning, in fact, I saw one of the cutest girls I've ever seen in NYC, period), but that is soooo not the right place to hit on anybody!

Agreed. Though it's not that I'm opposed to it in principle. It's just that it carries associations of the kind of person who actually does it. Same with nasty bars, I suppose.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

the C train is probably dirtier than the dirtiest NYC dive bar, too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I never look at anyone else on public transport. In London it is Not The Done Thing.

And I don't go to nasty bars either, so that solves that dilemma.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I look past or near. I can't help it.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, if you can pick the right moment to strike up the right conversation (like, one that's relevant to what's going on), you can (at least pretend to be) making just a friendly nonchalant conversation. Whereas going up to some random stranger girl and tell her that her face is more delightful than a glimpse of sunshine in a rainy day, flattering as it can be is sure going to get the other person's guards up.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Only once in my life have I ever hit on a boy in the subway. The N train was nearly deserted, and I saw a boy with shaggy bleached out hair working on these architectural plans. As I was going to Cooper Union at the time, I fancied myself a bit of an architect, and proceeded to lean over and comment on his engineering. We had a great conversation all the way back to Astoria. He gave me his phone number as he got off the train - which I promptly lost on the way home.

I've never got over it. I believe to this day, if we'd got together, we'd have married. He was into dronerock and architecture! He was my Brett Anderson!

Oh wait...

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

how did you lose his number?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmmm. thinking about liz's point. i flirt with loads of people, it's just the way i am, and doesn't mean i want to sleep with them. i will approach guys and use a corny line to start talking if i fancy them (including the infamous kissing game).

maybe that's why i was uncomfortable on saturday-- the guys made it clear that they didn't actually care if i was 'sad' or whatever (i'm just remembering one of them admitting this once i'd pissed him off), but were only trying for a snog/shag. which felt icky.

so maybe the difference between the negative 'hitting on' and the positive 'flirting' is potential interest in the person, not just the genitalia?

(many xposts)

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost to ken c)

Well that's going into "BE CAREFUL! HE'S GOT HUMAN HEADS IN HIS FRIDGE!" territory.

That's part of my problem. I find it impossible to pretend. And as I am by nature a melancholy and introverted person, I have no means to overcome these obstacles.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

although i did have an eyebrow flirting session with a girl on the opposite end of the tube train once. exchanges of glances and we made a couple of looks to each other and smiles. and then my heart started beating so much and i got off the train at the next stop.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post to Stence...

It was in the pocket of my leather jacket, along with my metrocard and my pocket change. I paid for something on the way home, and when I got home, I had the receipt for my mangos, but no phone number!

Yes, I am kicking myself to this day!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

(I may also have stopped at a bar on the way home, too, that might have something to do with it.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost i guess we can just be honest and go to girls and say "hi i've got a nice collection of heads in the fridge at home, fancy coming round to see them?"

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't stand professional/habitual flirts. I'd rather they didn't talk to me at all than pretend to be interested in me.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"one of them had a nose just like yours"

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I even took out one of those Village Voice "I saw you on the N train..." ads to try and find him again. He never called.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I never look at anyone else on public transport. In London it is Not The Done Thing.

This cracks me up. The short distance from Paris to London is huge when it comes to these things. Men and women openly check each other out in Paris yet if you even make eye contact on the Tube it's as if you've committed an impardonable act of agression.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

tangential question: is the age of the cellphone destroying the point of "Missed Connections" ads?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I love habitual flirts. They can come and talk to me if Marcello shoos them away.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Try and make eye contact on the tube, you run the risk of immediate admission to the casualty department of your choice! (viz. "Who YOU fuckin' lookin' at?" etc.)

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

but were only trying for a snog/shag. which felt icky.

so they were really also just playing the kissing game?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Alba, in the extremely unlikely event that someone came up to me and hit on me, I'd like to think it was because they wanted to get to know me, become friends with me, not that they were working the room out of some misguided notion of sociability.

But as I say it never happens anyway, so it's all conjecture.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 16 August 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

This was a nice flirting thread:

Stay Right There Tiger Flirting vs. Come Hither Flirting

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you have "London's lost riverscape" Kate?

http://www.londons-found-riverscape.co.uk/book.html

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a habitual flirt but I tend to flirt with people who are receptive. Otherwise, it ends up feeling like a police interrogation.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Try and make eye contact on the tube, you run the risk of immediate admission to the casualty department of your choice! (viz. "Who YOU fuckin' lookin' at?" etc.)

hint: only look at people you can win against in a fight.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

so they were really also just playing the kissing game?

LOL, good point, ken. to be fair, i am very honest and clear with targets when i'm playing the game, so they don't get the wrong idea...

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you hitting on me, Pash?

::whack!!!::

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Try and make eye contact on the tube, you run the risk of immediate admission to the casualty department of your choice! (viz. "Who YOU fuckin' lookin' at?" etc.)

This is such a sad part of English culture. No wonder I don't usually bother going when I'm in Europe.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmph.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Tee hee!

(Actually, no, I don't have that book, though I should probably look for it.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"hit on" sounds like an act of aggression, whereas flirting sounds nice and lighthearted. also, it implies that you have a definite end in mind (sex!) while flirting can just be a pleasant way to pass the time.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh, for some reason, I thought the idea of a set of panoramic photos of both banks of the Thames, taken in 1937, would appeal. It is a very good book (I don't have the version w/the new pics for comparison, though)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

What is the kissing game?

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

it sounds germy.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

My new band is called The Kissing Time. I hope no one gets us mixed up with anything to do with The Kissing Game. (Or the Kissing Disease, which I have actually had.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

the kissing game is basically competetive pulling. the goal is to see who can kiss the most people in a night. the target must be a stranger (defined as someone that you don't know their last name) and it must be a kiss on the mouth.

can be very entertaining, or very traumatic, or both. often a good time, though.

(xpost-- it is extremely germy, which is why i often lose-- i tend to only approach people that i want to kiss, and therefore don't mind their germs as much, rather than everybody i think i can get)

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

as long as it's not the Crying Game, I'm game.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Colette, you seem to know all there is to know about the kissing game.

Oh god I'm so sorry but I couldn't not post that

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

no that's a good one, I couldn't remember how the song went.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

This kissing game sounds frightfully easy, I mean there don't seem to be many men who aren't game for random chick saying "Hi will you snog me? I'm playing the kissing game and need to kiss lots of men."

Or is that against the rules?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"hit on" sounds like an act of aggression, whereas flirting sounds nice and lighthearted

Yeah, that seems to be the consensus: Hitting on someone is agressive, if but tacitly, although that's not necessarily a bad thing if you're in the mood and/or fancy the hitter.

As for flirting, that's a whole 'nother thing, and much of this thread makes me happy that I don't spend much time thinking about this stuff anymore.

― Lee G (Lee G), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish that I didn't have to think about this stuff any more.

::cries::

I don't *want* to be single. But then again, neither did Joe. He just wanted to be with someone that *wasn't* me.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, here's a kiss. X

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's a kiss with tongue: XQ

― na (Nick A.), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, I needed that. X

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

c'mon Kate, chin up.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

no kisses from me.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.nationallampoon.com/news/truefacts/assets/bunz.jpg

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

chin up for a bit of necking

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd pass some kisses on, but I'd only get hit w/a book :(

(xoxox anyway)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I believe in tough love.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Do the sexes compete alongside each other in the kissing game, Colette? I should have thought the boys would require a headstart, seeing as girls hate to be kissed because it's germy or whatever.

Also, is it not possible to lie about whose surname you know?

I seem to be far too interested in the kissing game.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Alba. I was scared this thread was going to turn from an abstract discussion of hitting on, into an exercise in hitting on Kate to make her feel better. ;-)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

girls hate to be kissed because it's germy or whatever.

i don't know what's happened. i seem to have regressed back to grade 3 this weekend. cooties, ew!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I never ever ever get hit on, and when it does happen, it scares me lots.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I take that as a no, then.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I was always far too shy to take any hitting on. I would blow it with my shyness.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Once, when I was a location assistant in film, an attractive enough foreign actress with whom I'd been having an interesting conversation asked me over to her trailer after we wrapped a night shoot. This was just after I'd moved in with my girlfriend and I cursed my luck that it had not happened earlier, when I'd been available. Of course, the more that I think about this episode, years later, I wonder if the sexual possibilities existed only in my head.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I think you should spin this story out into a novel.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I like these sorts of discussions, I always want to chip in with an astute answer/observation what have you. Yet, the truth of the matter is you'd probably have to send me a telegram reading "Hello. I'm hitting on you. Don't run away", oh dear. People should send more telegrams, btw.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I sometimes wish I lived in the 1920's.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

face it michael, "foreign actress" is just a polite euphemism for "hooker"

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Stence, I'm still thinking things over.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Jel,

You'd be pretty old now, so you would only be hit on by octogenerian beauties and those sexagenarians in search of a 'father figure'.

amateur!!!st,

She wasn't a particularly talented actress but she was, *sigh*, otherwise respectable enough, as actresses go.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost - oh okay, cool!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmm, good point Michael.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

On the other hand, their ability to write suggestive telegrams would probably be unequaled.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

TO: HOTTTT CHIXXX
FROM: HSTENCIL
RE: HITTING ON

HI WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOU BETTER*STOP CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?*STOP OKAY I TAKE THAT AS A NO*STOP

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anybody else 'hit on' on a girl by simply asking, "Wanna flirt?"

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

TO: HSTENCIL
FROM: HOTTTT CHIXXX
RE: HITTING ON

Please *STOP*

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry hstencil, couldn't resist.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

well, that was the response I was prompting for.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i love telegrams.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

does anyone send them any more?

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish someone would telex me.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

trust me, lauren, you don't want a telegram from me.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i got a telegram once, in 1990, from moscow.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

hstencil, is that some kind of frank booth reference?

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha I didn't mean it that way, but if you like.

I think it's a love letter from a gun, though, right?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

yup, a love letter. fucked forever.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Last night some female attempted to chat me up (or, I suppose "hit on me" [although it was later discovered that she was actually talking to me to rile up some jealousy in her boyfriend who was talking to some red-head skank or something, apparently]), and like one question in she asked "what do you do?" and of course I had no good answer for that. I just stared at her beautiful green (pointing in somewhat different directions [thanks booze!]) eyes for a moment, then stammered out "fuck around". She laughed, and then *awkward silence*. Luckily I was saved by a man challenging me to "bust out a MC Hammer and I'll give you a Roger Rabbit". Yay for embarassing dancing.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not proud of the fact that I responded the second ever time in my life I've been hit on (see the "unsexiest propositions" thread).
First time it happened, everything was great until I started drunkenly babbling shit. Fate's a cruel bitchmistress.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

My only experiences with being scandalously hit upon were both:

a. on the bus
and
b. by teenage girls

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Entschuldigen Sie mich, but wurde Sie care to moegem mich an meinem Platz fur some "stuffed clam"?

― Rudolf B., Monday, 16 August 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Hat diese 'Muschel' einen Bart?

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Einige, einige nicht. Einige boys bevorzugen auch the "rump roast", aber wir werden nicht Gespräch von dem!

― Rudolf B., Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd be amused if a girl hit on me who I wasn't into. I'd be scared shitless if a girl hit on me who I was.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Fate's a cruel bitchmistress.

I want this to be my epitaph.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

ok, just wanted to share this story from last night, since it kind of fits in here:

last night i went to the cheese on fleet street with my friends. we had a table with 7 of us, and i was facing a table with one guy on his own. he was clearly drunk, since he kept taking naps on the table.

ricky t walked into the room, i went to say hello, and the drunk guy stood behind him, mimicing his arm movements. weird, but we just ignored it. i went back to my friends, and a few minutes later the manager appeared with a glass of wine for me. 'from the gentleman at the next table,' he said pointing at drunk guy.

i turned bright red and said thank you, looked over at the guy and said 'thanks' and looked away. he stood up, grinned at me, pointed at my friends, indicated that they smelled bad, and i should sit with him instead. i shook my head and avoided eye contact. he didn't like that. he started standing up and sitting down repeatedly, like a jack in the box, but was saluting at me at the same time. he'd also move around the table so he was always in my line of sight. finally, he pounded on the table and shouted 'I'M USEFUL!', which sent us all into fits of giggles.

luckily, rick came back then, and i used him as cover while i escaped to the bathroom. while i was gone my friend had complained to the manager, who asked him to leave. two friends left a little later, and came down to get me. 'you have to come give your details to the police!'.

apparently, as they chucked out 'my new boyfriend,' he kicked, punched and bit the bartender, and three guys had to hold him down while the cops came. eventually he got put into the police van, while shouting that he'd left his bag containing £1,000 downstairs.

observations: i've never had a stranger send over a drink. why was the first time from a real, true psycho?

and, if he's going to be a good stalker, shouldn't he have noticed that i was drinking red wine, and not sent over white?

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I've said this enough today: Now I only get hit on by hookers. NB These are West African hookers.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it was you drinking the unladylike red wine that enraged him, colette.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

better than a pint, surely?

oh, my other favorite part: he was wearing a university of michigan baseball cap. my friends thought he could just sense the 'connection' we had...

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Pounding tables whilst shouting "I'm USEFUL!" is now my favourite thing ever.

― Gribowitz (Lynskey), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

did you find the £1000?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

what's special about west african hookers? i googled it but there were no results.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

In light of my experience in the Glasshouse Stores the other week as documented on this thread, I now revoke my first post here. Because it was just plain creepy.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.lapropagationduchaos.net/what/futurama/futurama_zoidberg.jpg

"Hooray, I'm useful!" (xpost)

― the impossible shortest special path! (the impossible shortest specia), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll second the "I'm USEFUL!" love. I must try and fit that in to my university reunion tomorrow night.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 3 September 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

what's special about west african hookers?

This is like asking "What's special about crabs?".

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Friday, 3 September 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

On the subject of being hit on, now it would definitely not be a good thing but when I was single I would have LOVED to be hit on, because I'm USELESS at chatting up ladeez.

Actually I guess I was hit on a few times and it was mostly lots of fun as long as long as I was suitably drunk and/or she wasn't a minger. The only time I can think of when it wasn't that fun was about '97 at uni just because the girl in question was just too weird and kinda creeped me out. Nothing actually scary though, she just had a strange look in her eye and kept staring right at me, and she didn't really seem all that mentally stable. Now I feel like I'm coming across all nasty and judgemental or something. Oh well, she was just weird that's all.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 3 September 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

She was probably just drunk.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

west african hookers walk sideways?? is that what you're trying to say?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

And the have pincers!

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Where their ladybits should be!

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

vagina pincetatas!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

eventually he got put into the police van, while shouting that he'd left his bag containing £1,000 downstairs.

OMG WAS IT MIKE SKINNER?!?!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

don't be daft, a pint of wine?!

― cºzen (Cozen), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I got hit on last week and it was ok.

I didn't do anything though I wasn't interested.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't realize I'm being hit on until we're both taking our clothes off. Ask any woman who's ever dated me - I miss all the obvious signs. I pretty much have to be beaten with the I Want You Stick (tm).

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure that a woman taking her clothes necessarily means she's interested, and you joining in with the disrobing doesn't clarify the situation.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

That was meant to an overstatement for comic effect.

Any disrobing takes place after there's been a clear statement of intent by both parties - I don't just get naked as soon as she takes off her jacket. The last woman I dated very slowly and deliberately initiated sex with me, and she was someone I was convinced I didn't have a chance with. I just don't read the signs of attraction very well.

What I was trying to say was that in 9 out of 10 cases I don't realize that I'm being flirted with / hit on / picked up until things have moved well past the flirting stage and and well into the clothes-off stage.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Ken and Dan, you deserve West African hookers.

― Sean Bateman, Friday, 3 September 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Of the beefy rugger kind.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 3 September 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

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