village voice cover story: "white girls with big asses, man"

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http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0432/essay.php

my interest in this subject is strictly that of the detached observer of social trends.

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

not a cover story.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"village voice front-and-center web site story: 'white girls with big asses, man'"

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

it's more of a backstory, really.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

in the print edition, it was just one page - just like all the other weekly essays that appear in the Voice Choices section.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

NO BIG ASSES! THIS INSANITY MUST CEASE!

White girls should have skinny little white asses, and be pasty and lithe and adorable. That's the way God wanted them.

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

The same God that never gets boners maybe.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.encorecelebrities.com/gallery/music/michael_jackson_large.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

What on earth will indie boys do?

― Kerry (dymaxia), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Bill Callahan, via Sir Mix-Alot.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

If this story is anti-ass I demand that Jess write a rebuttal.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

no, it is defiantly pro-ass.

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

What on earth will indie boys do?

Get aroused?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

cf. Bill Callahan ref, people.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I LOEV YUO FAETTY

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i remember all the FHM posters with gail porters supposedly perfect but actually non existent ass a few years back. from the sounds of this essay, that type of ass will be coming back to take its place at the top of western ass hierarchy by october.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ps. some white girls have always had big asses.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it totally unheard of for a white chick to have a big ass? I know loads of them. Like me.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.reggaecd.com/upload_media/product_images/main/phpdxEaQS.jpg

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

okay, Mandee now I am on bended knee!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

And I also!

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's a rear view of me with my french braid all unfurled:

ihttp://www.singlesburg.com/members/88972/my_butt.jpg

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

gah

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

nevermind LA Gear.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

That was a result of googling "love butt"

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we go back to the days when our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
They way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I’m down on bended knee
I’ll never walk again until you come back to me
I’m down on bended knee

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

oh Mandee you're so coy.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

what a stupid, stupid waste of column.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

well it's the Voice, they've run worse.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, come now. You must have an opinion on this urgent issue!

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder how many columns were actually wasted. I'm guessing... 2.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't really get the pt of this article either except my interest was peaked by the accompanying photo.

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"interest"

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

no, people, as stated upthread, this essay took up an entire page.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

this is one of the worst that i've seen recently, but then i hardly ever read it unless someone points out an article (like this one).

xpost - my opinion: butts rule. but if the author is concerned because she skinny legs and an out-of-proportion ass, then that's her problem not the reader's.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

also, wtf - it's not like white women have suddenly grown big butts overnight, like some sort of genetic experiment gone wild.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

my opinion: butts rule

Oh hells yes.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Lauren, you should write a rival column.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not anti-ass, though. not even anti-the writer's ass, as far as i can tell. i don't see why anyone's getting mad at a mildly amusing fluff piece.

xpost - isn't that how the article concludes, lauren? - Either way, the "phenomenon" is just confirming what we white girls with big asses have known for years. There's always been a secret society of us.

― m. (mitchlnw), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Pynchon she ain't.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not a goddamn secret.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

just cos a butt is big doesnt mean its loved by bigg butt lovers. theres a diff between say, sana lathaans (wrong spelling probably) quite wonderful ass cos its in proportion and a sloppy bulging ass that isnt in proportion but is still simply 'big'.

i liked this article.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

no, it's not anti-ass. it's just dumb.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost my last post works well as response to either m. OR Ned.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

a lot of it is down to the writing style, this sort of detached-yet-sassy-i'm-down-with-it vibe that's made especially irritating coming from someone called sloane crosley.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"sloppy bulging ass" - wow. Time to go work out.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that the author's ass, pictured? (If so, I think she is a terrific and talented writer.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"sloane crosley"

it sounds like she should be the editor of a literary magazine ca. 1925

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Free urban weeklies: For when you REALLY MISS your college newspaper.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Just one of the hilarious results when "Sloane Crosley" is googled.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(fourth entry down)

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHA

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm inspired to record a song where I sing "White gurls got dat ass/All day I crave dat white gurl ass" in a deadpan vocal over slow, Fun Lovin' Criminals riffs, a gothic sounding organ and Cheiron beats. I'd be number one in Croatia.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I am mad at you for trying to make the badonkadonk twee, stence.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

summer camp memories rock hard

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

dude, Perry, c'mon man.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

okay does this make it better?

R. KELLY WAS RIGHT/FRAMED!!!!!!!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Results 1 - 10 of about 39 for Sloane Crosley R. Kelly

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.donkeysanctuary.ca/Images/CHICLETlarge.jpg

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm going to change my entry to the "horniest ILXor" thread to NABISCO. Heavens man, keep it in your trousers!

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually this is the only relevant result when you google "Sloane Crosley R. Kelly" (scroll down past the article for hijinx).

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't see why anyone's getting mad at a mildly amusing fluff piece.

Well, I personally am getting really, really mad because the piece basically reads like what my "I Have A Big Ass" thread read like, except if I had gotten drunk before I wrote it. What the fucking hell. If I had known two years ago that the Voice wanted bullshit like this, I would have a whole shitton more money now than I actually do, instead of emoing out about my writer's block.

Seriously, how much do people think she got paid for this? Chuck Eddy around anywhere? He's got ins to find out. What the fucking hell.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh except when I talk about anyone's ass I don't act like KABOOM asses appeared out of nowhere, like the resurrection of Jesus or something.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

M: It was a question! An innocent question!

A: What is a shitton? (It sounds like a tampon for yr butt.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

3: I wish asses appeared out of nowhere like that.

(4: Horny that, Markelby.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

this girl is a publicist, maybe someone at the Voice owes her a favor.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Big asses be breakin' out like chicken pox.

― na (Nick A.), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

also I am horny as can be but cannot get horny for anybody named Sloane, sorry.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha there should be a hyphen between shit and ton in that sentence, whoops. No wonder I don't have a job writing absolute bullshit about my own ass for the Village Voice. :(

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't wait until all these Johnny Come-Latelys who've jumped on the ass bandwagon go back to ogling Kate Moss and leave the badankadonks to the true booty connoisseurs.

xpost not even Mia Sara in Ferris Bueller??

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

only when I think of her by her real name. Also, I don't think her butt was all that (though she was hella cute, yeah).

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM oops. im tired of people acting like they were always into asses when they were breastists until 2003.

can we have an i love asses board on ilx?

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

ALLISON MUNN

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't decide if I meant to do that or not.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm gonna convert to breastism just to stay avant-garde.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

what kind of half-man doesn't like breasts AND ass AND legs? good lord.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

true, Mia is 1000x hotter than Sloane.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

It's about priorities, Gear.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

who is an ass man here

also I had an ex-girlfriend once (WITH NO ASS WHAT WAS I THINKING?) who had a male boss named Sloane so you see I AM TRAUMATIZED by that name.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i like both, but i tend to zoom in on ass first.

im going to covert to left-butt-cheek-ism, just to throw this new craze for previously uncreated body parts a curve.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Somewhere a weirdo internet lurker with one luscious left cheek and one scrawny hair-covered right one is rejoincing.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel ill.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

my god, thanks nabisco, I am going to have nightmares tonight.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

for sickness or health, Mandee, think about it!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

im think im going to be a right-cheekist now. i cant have it where people are only taking care of one cheek and are already aware that there are people singling cheeks out.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

rejoincing

Nabisco the Neologist.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

You misspelled "pervert", Ned.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Why can't people be into elegant fingers or collar bones or foreheads or something Victorian like that?

I have nice ankles.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

If it helps, Mandee, I have a thing for nice chins. Also really striking noses, but that's not uncommon, I don't think. Chins, chins are important.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a big ass before big asses were cool! :-)

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a happy weakness for shoulders and the back of the neck.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i know people with ankle fetishes. i personally, have a hair fetish.

layna, holler!

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The only thing I am particular about are freckly shoulders.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.somebizarre.com/Resources/loaf.jpeg

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Mandee, we have enough time and energy to fetishize over any body part. (shoulder blades and necks are very nice) Well, external body parts. I don't know of any spleenists.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I have elegant fingers, and my feet are cool.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope no one finds gallbladders sexy as I do not have one.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i generally love womens hair (generally not boyish haircuts though) and asses the most.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

NB: big-ass discussions need to start differentiating properly between "big" and "round." The article, for instance, uses "big" and "flat" as antonyms, despite the fact that there are plenty of asses that are both. The kind of big ass people get all excited about tends to be the kind that's got some front-to-back roundness to it.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

hasn't anyone seen Mandee's eyes?? that's the stuff right there! I remember those pics

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

how can you fuck up such a winner of a topic???

― jess, Monday, 16 August 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Nabisco now has NEEUQ EHT EVAS DOG on his ass from being so on the money

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

we've already discussed how: by being named Sloane.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

goddammit Gear!'s gonna beat me.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

if someone could show me how to insert pics, i could display the specimen of ass that nabisco refers to.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not like i read the thread

― jess, Monday, 16 August 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

hasn't anyone seen Mandee's eyes?? that's the stuff right there! I remember those pics
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), August 16th, 2004.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/coyness.jpg

Why hello, Gear.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

the roundness is implicit when making a positive reference to a big ass, just as the nice round shape of a breast is implicit when extolling the virtues of big tits, ie who likes huge flappy, saggy banana tits? Okay, someone probably does, but not most.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi Jess!

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

My day has been made!

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"flappy"

― OH NO (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

back to the asses now. apologies for the "derail of dreaminess"

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not much of a tit man, either. I think I must be gay.

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

you've eaten a saggy banana before? was it maybe an overripe plantain?

― jess, Monday, 16 August 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

only if your lack of tit love is compensated for by the presence of cock love

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you like elegant, lady-like wrists?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Ruben Studdard's "Flying Without Wings" has been tainted forever.

― saggy, flappy banana nightmares (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Thing is, I'll accept almost any shape or size of ass or breast, as long as it pleases me. I cannot define the criteria I use, but I know it when I see it. (I see it a lot.)

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

damn, those eyes PIERCE MY VERY SOUL

(still not gonna work.)

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

in 20 years this article is going to read like those painful hip daddy liner notes that record companies used to commission for doo wop albums

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

You have to remember, Stencil, that Mandee is from Gr33l3y, CO, and therefore smells.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost to Tracer - like the ones Nat Hentoff of the Voice used to write?!?!?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Try 20 seconds.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I ain't got no beef with Colorado or beautiful women from there, nabisco.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Neither am I. I did some this morning and I think that justifies me not doing anything for the rest of the day.

Anyhow. More ass talk pls. Or ankle talk.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

YO MANDEE, LEMME SLAP DAT BUTT

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

haha no "beef" with beautiful women.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Ankles are more important than asses. A cankle disqualifies any chix0r from hottness.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Nabisco, somehow I had a feeling that my being from Greeley would come up on this thread. And I do not smell. Except of cotton candy and other wonderful things.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

stence vs gear! FITE!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, M, it's just I'm still reeling from my first Greeley-stink experience (c. 1989).

Could nobody ever use the word "cankle" again, please? I mean, maybe plastic surgeons can say it, that kind of thing is their business, but the fact that laypeople would say "cankle" is like horrifying to me.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark C has good taste.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I ain't got beef with the fine women, oops, but I sure hope they...

okay, I give up, I cannot pull this joke off.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Well give it a try anyway!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO FUTURE RANDOM GOOGLERS (FEMALE DIVISION): Hey, girl, how you doing? Let's talk about this in private, hit up my email, [email protected].

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

no, like I wrote last night, Mandee this is about more than just lust.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Would you learn the pan flute for me?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

If that's not a euphemism, I don't know what is.

xpost

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.christmasinternational.com/german/images/wkpanang.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way, can we also talk about Asian girls with big asses? You know, just for fun?

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't wait until all these Johnny Come-Latelys who've jumped on the ass bandwagon go back to ogling Kate Moss and leave the badankadonks to the true booty connoisseurs.
xpost not even Mia Sara in Ferris Bueller??

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), August 16th, 2004.

.. does anyone like what they actually like or are they just liking what they are told to like? Okay this was my attempt to get the thread back on track and less focused on me, Hstencil and his panflute. Did it work?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't have a panflute!

By the way, can we also talk about Asian girls with big asses? You know, just for fun?

there are any?

(sorry.)

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i like richard gere in an officer and a gentleman (on right now). damn.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

An Asian girl with a big ass would surely rule the world.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(There is actually a girl up around Columbia who is like your stereotypical five-foot Korean pixie except with BOOTY. She makes me think I'm an extra in a movie about a cartoonist whose fantasy woman comes to life.)

Sorry, Mandee. No, I wonder about that, too: it's disturbing to think that there could be trends and fashions in, like, bodies. On the other hand, I suppose it means more and different people get a chance to be hot for a few years. And I suppose once you have fashion and cultural trends, it's inevitable that certain body shapes will fall in fashion along with them. Weird and creepy, but possibly inevitable.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

...it's disturbing to think that there could be trends and fashions in, like, bodies.

you must've live a disturbed life then, because that's like the epitome of American culture.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

MOMUS WHERE ARE YOU????????

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet he doesn't like big butts.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

ps. somebody photoshop Momus's head (um, y'know the one with eyes plural not eye singular ewww gross I can't believe I typed that) on Mix-Alot's body please thank you from me.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

otm xxpost

I think it's cause all these types are appealing, and once The Public focuses on one for a few years, people start to go "oh hey, what about long legs and red hair? That's nice too". And The Public says "ooh yeah. nice. gimme some a dat." Then a few years later "long legs and red hair is nice, but remember big tits and wide hips?" "ooh yeah, that's nice too. more please."

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

If Momus likes big butts, I'll eat a trucker hat.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I likes me a nice tasty toe-bunion. Mmm mmm.

― Faux-mus (Nick A.), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a vagina man. I like girls with vaginas. They're my favorite kind.

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Weirdo.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"Help! My humungous vagina doesn't go with my spindly legs"

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"I've got a vadge the size of a wellie top. How can I hide it with the appropriate garb?"

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Sure, that's not grosser than my mismatched-cheek woman.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's not merely the size of the vagina, but it's shapeliness. Cause who likes huge flappy, saggy vaginas?"

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

it was about this time that "prolapsed" made it way into the conversation...

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my god, please.. no.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

in other news, never trust a big butt and a smile, as the saying go

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

let me make thing straight for u. some gurl have big asses, some gurlz have lil tiny asses. it does not matter whether they big or small cuz we r all unique. some times gurlz have round asses. sometimes gurlz have flat asses. the ass is what makes the girl special & u should not make fun of them 4 having a big ass. love 2 all and i hope i thought u something

― molly, Monday, 16 August 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

sum gurlz r biggr than otherz

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"the ass is what makes the girl special" sounds like a Pharrell lyric.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

There is actually a girl up around Columbia who is like your stereotypical five-foot Korean pixie except with BOOTY.

Nabisco, I might know this girl...might it be possible she is a Barnard student with connections to the radio station?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

cause there's only one?!?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

At Columbia? I'd be shocked if there were two meeting that description, yes.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently you haven't seen this booty! (xpost, it's not like I have, either)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

We're not exactly bursting at the seams with Asian girls, much less ones with ghetto ass/emobutt/whatever we call it this week.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"emobutt"!!!!

Kill me now.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Because I misread that as "elmobutt".

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Tickle...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Kill Ned now.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

The only google result for "elmobutt":

http://www.johansondesign.se/image/material/elmobutt.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

LOCK THREAD

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Nabisco, I might know this girl...might it be possible she is a Barnard student with connections to the radio station?

No, even better Dan, I just realized that nabisco and ally are probably talking about my "HEY MOBY I GIVE YOU RIMJOB" friend!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

my friend Bernardo
and I both got whiplash from
someone's emobutt

she was folksinging
here at an outdoor market,
that thing was like WHOA

but it wasn't round
or well-shaped or anything
just like...OW MY NECK

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

how on earth could anyone read that essay all the way through? i got bored around paragraph 2.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

weirdly enough, i read this THREAD in its entirety, and i seldom read whole threads.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

not saying that this thread is more interesting than sloane's story.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

what i'm saying is: i don't know what my point is.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't believe i have to get all indie elitist 'oh yeah well i knew about it first' ABOUT MY ASS

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

that is the most brilliant thing I have ever read maura

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

ass elitism: not just for indie anymore

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I still remember
looking up in 5th grade at
l***s* mc*nn's butt

that vision hit hard
like perhaps a gift from god
or a thunderbolt

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

did it look like this?

http://www.importforum.com/public_pics/Alexies_Thorpe_11.jpg

― Harold Media (kenan), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe you have missed
the whole "in fifth grade" part dude.
by the way: HOT DAMNM

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought maybe she was a teacher. You were looking *up* at it, after all.

― Harold Media (kenan), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not usually one to admire ass large or small, but yes HOT DAMNM says it all.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 00:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"white guys with big balls, girl" in next week's issue

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 04:48 (twenty-one years ago)

ass is good.

― splooge (thesplooge), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Gurlz bums r lush.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

in 20 years this article is going to read like those painful hip daddy liner notes that record companies used to commission for doo wop albums

-- Tracer Hand

It wasn't anything to do with the asses that surprised me, it ws the whole sub-Richard Prior "white girls be havin' ass like this" thing.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's a cute article, but then again I would.

Check it, newest latest:

http://www.missapplebottom.com/winners.php

― LC, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Link no work dude.

I like a nice ass, but of course I also like the whole package, from breasts, legs, etc, through to the less boorish stuff like eyes, neck, shoulders, chins, tummys, etc... not to be all twee about it, but it really is the whole package that does it for me. Granted, we all have our own specific tastes, and know what I like when I see it. And generally speaking, I do notice a great ass (to me) right away, and it is usually the big/round type. I'm no perv (well OK, maybe a little), and I don't see anything wrong with this. I'm not obsessed with ass - it's not a criteria or anything - but I certainly do appreciate it!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://i.myspace.com/95/35/55359/14160630_l.jpg

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

HOTT

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I really have nothing to offer about ass (I'm not feeling either enthusiastic or picky about it today, but I'm groggy) but way back when Nabisco said that Greeley was stinky. I lived their till 1990 or so and I don't remember stink at all.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

why all the fuss about white girls having ass? black girls have had great round bouncy ass for centuries yet they never make it to the cover of the VV!

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

IT WASN'T ON THE COVER.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

What about white dudes with big asses? 'Cuz, uh, no reason.

― na (Nick A.), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

cover or not, all this fuss about white chicks having ass is dull. i didnt see much coverage being given to the ample posteriors of most black women the world over in the press at large.

white women + ass = special occasion
black women + ass = under the carpet

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

you know dick, you're right. i picked up a "white tail" magazine once and sadly it was about hunting. :/

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"all this fuss"

um, one dead donkey article isn't generally considered fuss.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

er, have you not read any of the articles on this new found ass-fetish in all the mens mags? or seen an increase in use of words like booty, etc in the last few years? you must have not seen any of the features or pictorial spreads in mags and newspapers on everyone from kylie to christina (who has no ass) aguilera's butt cheeks.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Ass-fetish newness in men's mags can be directly tied to Jennifer Lopez, who isn't a white girl!

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

BUT WHAT ABOUT WHITE DUDES WITH BIG ASSES? NEXT BIG THING?

― na (Nick A.), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe in 5 years the NY Times will cover it.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

of course she isnt! but shes presented very much on her own, as if she doesnt come from a lineage of big assed tradition. its a travesty!

i dont think white dudes with big asses will catch on. well they might catch on to small toilet seats but thats about it.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, I meant the NY Times will cover girl's asses, maybe.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

What if their asses are too large to be covered by the New York Times?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

the NYT is a pretty big-sized paper. i think they will fit.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

they'll definitely fit in the Independent. That's a big-ass paper.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Jennifer Lopez's normal sized ass being presented on its own is about the same thing as this article making a "fuss" about white girls' asses. The rest of the ass fuss isn't exactly directed at one single race, is what I'm saying.

The evolution of ass fuss:
Advent of motion pictures -> 1960: girls with big asses and normal sized girls A-OK
1960 -> 1970: girls with assets all get killed off (cf Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield) by the Swinging London Mafia (this might not be hisstorically accurate assessment of why these ladies died)
1970 -> Out of Sight: All actresses either resemble Ali MacGraw or a giant pair of fake tits with a head
J. LO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALIENTE!!!!!!! That cover of like Maxim with her ass in stupid ruffly panties -> present: People in Hollywood of all races just keep showing off their asses whether they should or not

It is easier to just avoid the idea that girls of all races have come in all sizes for, like, a trillion years because, like, historical essaying doesn't sell a fuckin' magazine, yo.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The funniest thing about ass fuss: gigantor-ass is, like, a size 8.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

you should work for the history channel.

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

ASS FUSS OF THE 50S:

http://www.trondheim-filmklubb.no/film/tfk/v2002/bilder/Gentlemen%20prefer%20blondes.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh dear lord, I just noticed the ultra-fucking-hot picture Harold posted up there. I think it's time to revive the underwear thread.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cinemasirens.com/brnrcklss.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

ally's ass assessment through history is quite right (kind of), but i think the general racial generalisations made on the asses of that particular races women are majority-based. that said, yeah, all types of asses have been present through the years. i dont see why its such a bad thing to acknowledge that different ass-types exist.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I went to college with Sloane. Her ass isn't even that big. (Unless it grew from 1997, or I have the wrong person in my head altogether, disclaimer, disclaimer.)

― mcd (mcd), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, who said it was bad?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

One may notice the Mediterranean is in between Africa and Europe.

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the '...pair of tight pants!' add-on on that Mamie Van Doren poster.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

OK This features no ass (trust me, you just can't see it, but it's there), but OMG it is the best photo ever.

http://www.genesis-publications.com/books/time/sophia-jayne.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"Get your boobies away from me you Teutonic freak!!!"

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

does the ass get lost in the ocean, sexydancer?

noone said it was bad allyzay, but it wasnt being relocated from under the carpet either.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

That was used as an album cover years ago for someone, I forget who. And it is a great photo.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

cleavage is a beautiful thing. whether its at the back or front.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.redcoat.net/pics/readline135.jpg

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

The look in her eyes is either jealousy or intensely-trying-to-repress-sapphic-desires.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I believe Sophia Loren's ass would probably have qualified as "Gigantor", either that or "yowzah yowzah yowzah"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

as someone else pointed out above, sana laathan's ass as seen in blade 1, is truly a great piece of ass-man ship.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude Sophia Loren probably wears a size 10, that's well over the currently defined range of "gigantor"!!!

Seriously though I'd probably look at Jayne Mansfield the same way, those things are kind of like WHOA.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

That photo was taken shortly after someone crushed Sofia Loren's face vertically in a vice.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.m0vie.com/celeb6/pics/alba1.jpg

― like whoa, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

whoa indeed, who is that?

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

christ alive!!

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

jessica alba

― adam west (adamwest), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm amazed that this thread is still work-safe (marginally)

― amateur!!!st, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i need to just sit in the dark for a second here

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

OK in what way is that jessica alba?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

that's funny -- my work-filter seems to blocking about half these graphics...

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Jessica Alba's ass for anyone who was as interested in that as I was.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

it is her. it's from 'idle hands'

― adam west (adamwest), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

DANGER RE: ALLZAY'S LINK THAT THREAD MAXIMIZES YR WINDOW!!!

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

OK that makes me v. happy then, batman.

WHY DOES GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH ONLY REVEAL JESSICA ALBA TOO SKINNY PHOTOS AND HIDE THE IDLE HANDS PHOTOS? PERHAPS THE VOICE HAS NOT REACHED OUT TO GOOGLE ON BIG ASS PHENOMENON?

xpost dude you're the one who clicked on a link called "Jessica Alba's Ass" on a celebrity nudity database!!

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

allyzay, that was not nice to link us to some BS celeb porn site.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

it works on my computer sans any kind of pop ups or redirection!

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has suddenly made me feel very, very lonely. @$!#

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

That's bcz I told Firefox not to let javascript do that shit

xpost

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

jeanne otm.

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.animemaster.net/ATHF/Stuff/ol_drippy.jpg

"Idle hands lead to the genitals..."

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread got eerily quiet

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

everyone rushed off to masturbate after ally et al posted those pictures.

― amateur!!!st, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh...

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

So my post before the last two was prophetic

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm going to start a trope that dudes with big asses have huge cocks because, you know, balance.

― eat fudge banana swirl (Nick A.), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I broke this thread.

― eat fudge banana swirl (Nick A.), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

fixed.

ihttp://www.stars2000.net/EDICOLA/King_0104/JennaVonOy2-nmd.jpg

― amateur!!!st, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

why have I never seen Idle Hands?

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Jenna von Oy's booty-appeal ===> significant role on The Parkers

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Damnit, my boss just looked over my shoulder and read this thread title. One of few moments in life that would have been way less embarrassing if I were white.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

more importantly: who is the guy in that pic¿

for i wish to find him and smell his hands.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i like the booty

― stevie (stevie), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a little disturbed that someone remembered a fleeting vision of Jessica Alba's butt at the end of Idle Hands.

The guy is Devon Sawa.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

milo you don't like butts, so, y'know, butt out and let us enjoy the moment.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

but jessica alba doesn't count as a 'white girl' anyway

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not anti-butt, I just don't usually care either way. I'm pro-all butts, great and small.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

wow I think I now remember when I first fell in love with the butt. early 90s, Blossom, Six.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

milo, to not care is to be anti-butt, my friend.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"The butt pacifist is objectively anti-butt."

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

The funniest thing about ass fuss: gigantor-ass is, like, a size 8.

yeah, seriously

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

apathy does not equal pacifism.

I have been led astray more times than I can mention by asses much smaller than "gigantor," so I shouldn't talk. and yet I must.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

sabrina the teenage witch acquired quite a sizeable ass as she got older.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmmmm

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

more asses.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

The Kobe Bryant Accuser has a nice shelf.

― HexyAnswer, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

more white girls with fat asses, please.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.wild987.fm/images/subpage/wildsquad/globepic-kobe.jpg

― HexyAnswer, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

from that pic, i want to know why kobe even wanted a yes/no answer.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Uh oh. Somebody said "Blossom" and sent me reeling through a whole lotta early adolescent infatuation.

http://www.alvas.ru/Foto/Mayim%20Bialik%202.jpg

What is it about her? I can't even say, but I feel like proposing marriage and then making babies.

― Harold Media (kenan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

substitute blossom with sabrina the teenage witch and the same caption and i agree.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

With Sabrina it's the lazy eye.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to love fake Becky but Scrubs has beaten it out of me.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

just so y'all know, here are some things women can do to give the appearance of a big ass.
1) high heels. the higher the heel, the bigger the ass looks.
2) underwear. hell, undies like those jessica alba is wearing upthread make even my lousey lousey ass look shapely. they're fucking uncomfortable though, get RIGHT up your crack.
3) even dresses cut the right way can make yr ass look bigger.
4) photoshop. what girl from a ladmag DOESN'T get "enhanced" in some way??

we're all a bunch of drag queens, really.

ps this thread keeps making me think of john berger for some reason.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

http://photos.friendster.com/photos/69/19/3909196/490464417860l.jpg

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude Di OTM esp. re: the panties.

Also I'm not using your computer, Tom.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Voice letters section likes the article plenty:

http://www.villagevoice.com/letters/

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"In the news today, a number of Village Voice readers expressed appreciation over the discovery that large bums existed."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

a big ass may be one of the few things black women can get away with that white women can't

Umm ... how lucky black women are to be usually considered completely beneath the libidos of white people???

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I shouldn't be sarcastic about that, actually -- it's just that, you know, it's not as if black women have been "getting away" with big asses, it's that black women with big asses have been pretty much ignored by the white male libido (in favor of the occasional black woman with superlight skin and a narrow nose and a smaller ass), just as black women have been pretty much ignored in so so many other ways. Except by people who always liked big asses, who probably just as problematically stand in bars scoping out black women and then standing behind them.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

So like for this letter-writer to think she's been stigmatized and not-wanted for her big ass while black women "get away with it" is ignorant-as-fuck, unless her complaint is somehow that only black men like big asses, and thus, due to some current anti-miscegenation laws known only to her, only black women get to have their big asses appreciated?

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah I just read that too, nabisco. The mind boggles.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.darkhorizons.com/2004/white/whitechicks1.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:Jiyf8FLpDkAJ:www.donkey.com.au/cms_files/donkey/images/free/useful%2520buttons/donkey_its%2520big!.jpg

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, though, could we talk about this topic some more?

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.moondog.freeuk.com/ass.gif

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i love this thread. more white women with big asses please. PLEASE. are there any on ilx? can we set up a judging competition?

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the white women of ILX are all big-assed.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

are we talking big sloppy asses or big round firm asses?

there was a film with matthew perry and salma hayek with a blonde in there who had a thing for matthew perry who had a great example of a great white girl with a big ass. i wish i knew who she was. jamie lee curtis has a great ass too. hmmmmm, who else?

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Faith Ford, from Murphy Brown.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

*googles*

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

there was a film with matthew perry and salma hayek

The film's ~~shit~~ called Fools Rush In if that helps?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

thats the one. there was a blodne girl in there vying for perry's affections. if i knew her name and had a pic of her from the back to submit to ILX, that would be very useful.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i love this thread. more white women with big asses please. PLEASE. are there any on ilx? can we set up a judging competition?

Oh... we did this one about two, three years ago...

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

http://stop-dikke-konten.tripod.com/big_ass_beer_rest1.jpg

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 14 April 2006 02:08 (twenty years ago)

Argh, damnit. Well, anyway:

http://stop-dikke-konten.tripod.com/big_ass_beer_rest1.jpg

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 14 April 2006 02:09 (twenty years ago)

I was looking for "big beer" images and look what popped up...

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 14 April 2006 02:09 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

It was sort of weird reading I Was Told There'd Be Cake and knowing that Sloane Crosley and I are the same age. Obviously there are lots of successful writers in my age cohort (I'm not so young that this notion itself is novel), but I guess I haven't read a whole lot of autobiographical stuff from them. There were times (like when she mentions dancing to "O.P.P." at a middle-school dance) when I felt like I was workshopping the book for a creative writing class we were both in.

Another stray thought: I get the comparisons to Sedaris and Vowell, but she seems a little more mean than either of them, at least when it comes to people she knows. Sedaris can be plenty unflattering, but it's usually leavened with affection, like "oh, my crazy family." Or else he's talking about strangers or random acquaintances long gone from his life. Whereas in the long piece about the wedding for her friend from high school, Crosley is downright merciless.

― total mormon cockblock extravaganza (jaymc), Monday, 29 December 2008 16:39 (seventeen years ago)

(This was probably the wrong thread to revive.)

― total mormon cockblock extravaganza (jaymc), Monday, 29 December 2008 16:44 (seventeen years ago)

just the wrong way to revive it imo

― landfill spectre (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 29 December 2008 17:18 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.demotivateus.com/posters/thick-white-girls-demotivational-poster.jpg

Yeah it's a good bet that no one opening up this thread wants to talk about spiteful post-adolescent autobio.

― ian, Monday, 29 December 2008 17:28 (seventeen years ago)

pic of Sarah Vowell's ass or something

― landfill spectre (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 29 December 2008 17:30 (seventeen years ago)

sarah vowell, would not smash :(

― ian, Monday, 29 December 2008 17:31 (seventeen years ago)

to be fair it's a pretty lame start to thread about something so very close to my heart (the silly article, that is, not amateurist bringing it to ilx attn.)

― extremely intoxicated & uncooperative outside a Hסּסּters in Winston-Salem (will), Monday, 29 December 2008 17:32 (seventeen years ago)

my interest in this subject is strictly that of the detached observer of social trends.

― amateur!!!st, Monday, August 16, 2004 6:15 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark

^^ beautiful, otm, i love you man, lols etc.

― ian, Monday, 29 December 2008 17:32 (seventeen years ago)

i can't believe i have to get all indie elitist 'oh yeah well i knew about it first' ABOUT MY ASS
― maura (maura), Monday, August 16, 2004 8:12 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ one of my all-time favorite ILX lols

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 18:47 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2008-07/40645846.jpg

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Monday, 29 December 2008 18:49 (seventeen years ago)

Michael Musto's lost a lot of weight since I last checked.

http://media.phoenixnewtimes.com/2869219.47.jpg

― Eric H., Monday, 29 December 2008 18:49 (seventeen years ago)

eric why would you inflict that upon me man

― BIG HOOS is not a nacho purist fwiw (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 29 December 2008 21:29 (seventeen years ago)

Forget sarah vowell, this thread is the perfect venue for my continuing crusade to introduce the word steatopygous to the breathlessly waiting world.

― Aimless, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:10 (seventeen years ago)

the steatopygous Abyssinian breed, broad-shouldered, thin-flanked, fine-limbed, and with haunches of prodigious size

It's true, this describes me perfectly

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:12 (seventeen years ago)

I prefer the word neotonous – why bcz it is mellifluous and it is about the CUETS.

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:15 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.geol.umd.edu/~jmerck/honr219d/images/05/neoteny.gif

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:16 (seventeen years ago)

it's the new callipygian

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:18 (seventeen years ago)

just out of curiosity, now that i know what sloane crosley looks like -- did she lose a significant amount of weight since this voice article? cos otherwise she is a liar on par with james frey on the topic of ass.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:22 (seventeen years ago)

haha i was thinking the same thing

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:23 (seventeen years ago)

Yup, I've been saying that since as soon as I saw her. Almost wrote a letter to the Voice about clear double standards re: Nick Sylvester / ass

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:25 (seventeen years ago)

ass imposter

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:26 (seventeen years ago)

(that's going on my band name list)

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:27 (seventeen years ago)

I mean this photo is a bit dark but I consider it definite proof of her bald-assed lies:

http://www.observer.com/files/imagecache/vertical/files/Sloane-Crosley.jpg

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:27 (seventeen years ago)

Although there's something a bit touchy about Schef -- of "I have a big ass" thread fame -- being the one doing the accusing here

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:28 (seventeen years ago)

Sloane sonned in assless beef

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:29 (seventeen years ago)

Crosley made a claim she cannot BACK UP

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:29 (seventeen years ago)

She had a lot of cheek to say it.

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:30 (seventeen years ago)

dude it's not about the fact that she's thin, you can be thin and have an ass. she's completely flat-assed.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:30 (seventeen years ago)

i demand truth in assvertising

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:30 (seventeen years ago)

Declined: insufficient buns

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:31 (seventeen years ago)

i am just flabbergasted by her bald-faced lies and the voice's assistance in this matter! i thought i knew the voice better ;_;

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:31 (seventeen years ago)

it's like learning the tooth fairy is fake

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:33 (seventeen years ago)

disappointed this isn't a picture thread

― Дyo! (The Reverend), Monday, 29 December 2008 23:51 (seventeen years ago)

If I remember correctly, a related picture thread was started, back in the day.

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:52 (seventeen years ago)

white women with big asses - name them!

― nabisco, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:52 (seventeen years ago)

Suggest Buns.

― nickn, Monday, 29 December 2008 23:53 (seventeen years ago)

three years pass...

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/kristof-where-pimps-peddle-their-goods.html?_r=1

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 March 2012 16:02 (fourteen years ago)

"Alissa thought about using her real name for this article but decided not to for fear that Village Voice would retaliate."

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 March 2012 16:02 (fourteen years ago)

sorry, nitpicking but "Paradoxically, Village Voice began as an alternative newspaper to speak truth to power." - not actually true.

― Mordy, Sunday, 18 March 2012 16:40 (fourteen years ago)

did a double take because the last story i wrote for the voice could be described as "songs about big asses, man"

― some dude, Sunday, 18 March 2012 16:56 (fourteen years ago)

Also "It publishes some superb journalism" potentially no longer true.

― s.clover, Sunday, 18 March 2012 18:49 (fourteen years ago)

i had no idea about what that opinion piece is talking about. i always knew the v.v. had some dodgy ads in the back, but sheesh. did xagau, hoberman, et al ever speak out against this while they were employed by voice media?

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Sunday, 18 March 2012 18:53 (fourteen years ago)

VVM (via their local papers) was running stories last year about how human trafficking/teen prostitution/etc. is vastly overestimated, etc.. Which seems like it might be true, but given their hooker ads in the back seemed extremely self-serving.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Sunday, 18 March 2012 19:01 (fourteen years ago)

it was entirely self serving

― 3hunn O))) (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 18 March 2012 19:08 (fourteen years ago)

it's the opposite of self-serving!

― some dude, Sunday, 18 March 2012 19:13 (fourteen years ago)

http://www.realtvcritics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/village-voice-ashton.jpg

http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-06-29/news/real-men-get-their-facts-straight-sex-trafficking-ashton-kutcher-demi-moore/

― flag post sitta (Whiney G. Weingarten), Sunday, 18 March 2012 19:28 (fourteen years ago)

Can't believe he agreed to pose for that

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 March 2012 19:29 (fourteen years ago)

Use of the term "the big lie" is rarely a good look.

― Une semaine de Bunty (ShariVari), Sunday, 18 March 2012 19:39 (fourteen years ago)

that article is fishy. so maybe 100,000-200,000 is a very high estimate. then what? do we not worry about child trafficking? do we not object to it. the voice article just denounces kutcher et al and leaves it at that.

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Sunday, 18 March 2012 20:53 (fourteen years ago)

Exactly. Even if it's not tens of thousands of underage girls being prostituted through their site, some are and whatever screening mechanisms they have are evidently not particularly effective. There's no real attempt to engage with the problem, other than rubbishing the unrealistic estimates of well-meaning people.

I know some people involved in the sex industry and they're pretty sensitive about this subject - they view the reports of trafficking and exploitation as moralistic propaganda to keep their work illegal. They're great people, and actively involved in doing things that benefit the sex worker community, but there's a definite wilful blindness there as well as a tendency to ascribe dubious motives to some excellent outreach programmes for exploited women.

― Une semaine de Bunty (ShariVari), Sunday, 18 March 2012 20:58 (fourteen years ago)

well there is a difference between a woman who chooses to go into prostitution (even if the broader scenario involves diminished economic opportunities etc.) and a 15-year-old who is forced into prostitution under continual threat of violence.

the whole issue is rather complex i'll admit. but we agree that the voice's response is very dodgy and self-serving.

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Sunday, 18 March 2012 21:01 (fourteen years ago)

Absolutely. Even if they felt they needed to come out to tackle what they view as myths about the sex industry, the "real men" and "big lie" tone is completely off.

― Une semaine de Bunty (ShariVari), Sunday, 18 March 2012 21:08 (fourteen years ago)

"real men" is a play off of something ashton said iirc

― flag post sitta (Whiney G. Weingarten), Sunday, 18 March 2012 22:12 (fourteen years ago)

yeah "real men don't buy girls" was his anti-trafficking tagline iirc

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 18 March 2012 23:03 (fourteen years ago)

shamed out of human trafficking

― lag∞n, Sunday, 18 March 2012 23:30 (fourteen years ago)

yeah that seems like an amazingly ineffectual campaign -- i'd imagine folks who would pay to have sex with young teenagers have other issues besides fragile masculinity.

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Monday, 19 March 2012 01:17 (fourteen years ago)

Any campaign fronted by Ashton Kutcher's probably going to be fairly ineffectual outside the frat-bro market and fragile masculinity might, at least, have some play there.

― Une semaine de Bunty (ShariVari), Monday, 19 March 2012 08:45 (fourteen years ago)

five years pass...

"village voice front-and-center web site story: 'white girls with big asses, man'"
― amateur!!!st, Monday, August 16, 2004 2:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's more of a backstory, really.
― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, August 16, 2004 2:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Neanderthal, Monday, 27 March 2017 01:42 (nine years ago)

Lol ILX when it was mostly people in their twenties. Wow @ us

― Not the real Tombot (El Tomboto), Monday, 27 March 2017 02:34 (nine years ago)

ps. some white girls have always had big asses.
― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, August 16, 2004 11:36 AM (twelve years ago)

― sarahell, Monday, 27 March 2017 04:24 (nine years ago)

The Dallas alt-weekly's page count seems to have dropped by almost half since they stopped advertising escorts.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Monday, 27 March 2017 05:32 (nine years ago)

five months pass...

"emobutt"!!!!
Kill me now.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, August 16, 2004 5:27 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Because I misread that as "elmobutt".
― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, August 16, 2004 5:27 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 05:50 (eight years ago)

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