Going out "on the pull"

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I don't really have much of a question here, but this thread is all about going out somewhere with the intentions of meeting people to score with - either to get phone numbers, target practice, one night stands, the meeting of a potential SO, a quick snog etc...

There's a whole range of differences to the ways people do this and the what they want out of it. Some go for the (perhaps rather juvenile, but maybe fun) "see how many we can get off with in a night" style. Others may appear a little more monogamous by trying to find that one special person to get their ends away with that night. Others may actually feel they are out for something more significant.

And 99% of the time, "going out on the pull" doesn't work - random snogs, meetings with beautiful strangers and chance encounters with the potential "one" only seem to happen when you pulled the 3-week unwashed jeans from your floor, slammed a South Park t-shirt on and headed down the pub for a swift half. Why?

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

pulled the 3-week unwashed jeans from your floor, slammed a South Park t-shirt on and headed down the pub for a swift half. Why?

That's what I do when I'm going on the pull. I think that's what I've been doing ~~right~~wrong

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

when you think to yourself you're "going on the pull" you're setting your mind in the wrong attitude. I guess. Which might be why it's hindering the success.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Going out on the pull doesn't work 99% of the time for most of the reasons outlined in the 'Is being hit on ever a good thing?' thread. Also because the phrase 'going on the pull' seems to take drunken sleaziness as a prerequisite.

I am rubbish at pulling but actually pretty good at being pulled, so things even themselves out nicely enough.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to go "on the pull" on a regular basis. This was during my "hedonistic and promiscuous" stage of getting over my last headf*ck serious relationship. I lived in Hoxton, so it really was just a case of putting on my gladrags and going down the street to a meatmarket. Most nights I felt in the mood for pulling, I generally did. It was fun, and I needed to do it, but it was pretty disasterous in a lot of other ways - none of these encounters lasted longer than about 48 hours. I can't even really remember how I did it. Drunkenness played a part. Usually I checked out the crowd, decided upon which one was cutest, and went and danced at him until he gave in. If this didn't work, on to the next cutest. In Hoxton, there were an almost endless supply.

The night that I met the "love of my life", I wasn't expecting to pull at all. I just went to see a friend's band, I was wearing dirty jeans and a Flock of Seagulls shirt.

I guess the moral of the story is, that if you go out "on the pull" then that is all you will get - pulled. Or, erm, something.

I guess I know how to be single, and how to enjoy myself while being single, but I have no idea how to get into a relationship.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post... ha ha, I guess this really does prove that it is actually easier for girls to get random sex than for boys. (Unless they're gay.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeh - I think everyone sort of wonders "will i meet someone tonight?" when they go out, whether they'll admit it or not. It's when one starts thinking "I HAVE to meet someone tonight" it goes tits up. Either you get roaringly drunk in order to put some Dutch courage in you. Or you end up being disappointed by the lack of totty and then acting disappointed aand if you do meet "the one" they think you're a miserable sod.
If you go out with the intention of having a laugh, you're acting more natural, you don't care too much about the impression you're giving off and this can turn you into a more attractive and interesting person than someone with immaculate hair who's constantly eyeing up the talent.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh it does seem like that if girls want to get some random action they can get some a lot easier than boys. is that really true?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it is.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Could "going out on the pull" be more of a therapy than an attempt to get a life, y'know - like going to a sauna or something? Even just snogging random people just for the sake of it can be kind of fun and is probably quite good for the brain and ego, despite it being seen as quite a childish pass-time since a 48-hour relationship is seen by most people as a waste of time.

The last time I had a random snog was in March, which may account for my crippling depression ;-) (jks)

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, it was definitely more like therapy, and more like trying to repair a self esteem that was completely shredded by an abusive relationship. It was a great shock to learn that I *could* still pull, after being made to feel like a sack of shit for so long. I don't view the 1/2-night stands as being a waste of time, they were more like a learning experience.

Yeah, sure, it's childish, and I did eventually grow out of it, and realised that I was looking for something more out of love. But it was an important stage to go through.

I lacked sexual self confidence for most of my life, I was always used to being the fat, ugly kid with the weird accent. For a period of about six months, I could walk into trendy bars in Hoxton, walk up to the most beautiful man in the room, and end up going home with him. That did a *lot* to restore self esteem.

OK, it ended up turning into a different kind of mindfuck after a while, when you realise that you've screwed up any hope you had of having a *relationship* with someone you might actually have liked, had you met them in a different context. But that was a different lesson to learn.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

despite it being seen as quite a childish pass-time since a 48-hour relationship is seen by most people as a waste of time.

yeah exactly what a waste of 36 hours!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

It's dud. But then again, I am a miserable cumugeon (sp).

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i seem to fail on pulling when i atually set out to pull on purpose. you usually end up looking like a cock or trying too hard or something. then again, maybe a lot of other people can do it, i just cant.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"...when you realise that you've screwed up any hope you had of having a *relationship* with someone you might actually have liked, had you met them in a different context."

God, isn't that the worst? I'm all for proper, getting to you know dating now.

― marianna lcl, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i knew who this thread was started by before clicking :)

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

hhaa me too!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

although to be fair i saw this thread on the "New Questions" page which had his name next to the thread title.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

God, I hate being single.

Well, no, I don't hate being single. I just hate the idea of having to *ever* go "On The Pull" again. Why can't I just meet nice men in the privacy of my own home or something? They could come in and sit with me for an hour or so while I watch Extreme Archeology or CSI.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, isn't that what the internet was supposed to be for? Why do I never meet men on the internet?

Oh wait...

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

going out on the pull = practically alien concept to me, tho i often wish i wasn't. every way i thought of doing it just seemed too lame, so i didn't really try. of course if no-one's trying to pull you then that can be some clue that you're unlikely to have much success anyway. lately i'm realising that actually it needn't have been so difficult, and that people shouldn't waste time playing games - unless that really is their kick.

but if it really doesn't work 99% of the time then why is it considered 'de rigeur' socially, in the way that it is?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do I never meet men on the internet?

Why do I ONLY meet women on the internet?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

liar.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe I should try one of these dating type sites. Except I'd be *terrified* that no one on it was real, that it was all just ILXors taking the piss out of one another.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it's true ken, technically...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. Is the success rate really as low as less than 1%? My flatmate and two of his mates went out one night and we got a text next morning from one of the mates who disappeared "i slept with a girl and i don't know where i am!" so that was 33%.. but then he was a cute tall danish boy with a danish accent.

(plus f.m. got a girls phone number out of it! 66%?)

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i've had a few dates with c-man off the internet (who in turn had a few dates with my se..)

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

getting the number doesnt guarantee action. some girls just give it out like a business card. their business isnt getting you into bed most of the time, sad to say.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh it does seem like that if girls want to get some random action they can get some a lot easier than boys. is that really true?

-- ken c

Yes. If you really just do want someone to go home with for that night, rather than trying to start some kind of twisted relationship, it's pathetically easy. Obv. I haven't done this for ages.

x-post with Mr VanDyke - I wouldn't give my number to someone I wouldn't consider sleeping with. It's when you meet them for a drink you go off them.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Women can pull men at will because men have very low thresholds when it comes to basic shagging. The default position of a man about on the town who is 'I am happy to have a random shag tonight'. Women are more circumspect - they might be equally up for a random shag, but have the advantage of knowing most people are available, and therefore can pick and choose.

Ie - in a pub, the proportion of men who will readily assent to a knee-trembler is higher than the proportion of women who are up for it. Supply and demand innit.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

My problem with phone number giving, is I used to give my phone number out very easily when drunk. One's standards when drunk are not the same as one's standards when sober, unfortunately.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)

ms fielding, thats odd. i know friends who have gotten numbers off girls only to find that said females only want to be mates. maybe these girls just wanted to play games.

actually, i remember one girl whose number i got, but after finding out she lived in conventry and was only down in london for the weekend, every time i called her she was either busy or something. i cant remember this too well right now, but it seemed she was making excuses. alternately, maybe she really was too busy and i just took it wrong.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that's rather cruel, giving a phone number to "just be friends". Surely everybody knows that giving out a phone number is an indicator of at least mild interest (but I do take on board what Kate said about being drunk)? It's like actually expecting coffee when asked back for it. (One of my most embarassing teenage memories - explaining to my back-to-dating mother the significance of coffee. It wasn't even something I'd encountered in my own life at that point, but I was still shocked at her innocence.)

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

kate's still never texted me.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

and wearing a Flock of Seagulls shirt would've won me over no probs, seriously.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ken c, would you like to come back to mine for coffee?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i met my current girlfriend at an engagement. this is clearly the best environment for anyone looking to pull. replace those torn t-shirts with tuxes.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I cannot believe that this exists in the world:

http://www.GothicMatch.com

And yet www.dronerockmatch.com does not! It's just not *fair*!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry. i don't drink coffee I take tea, Jarlr'mai.

you can come back to mine to listen to my Sting records though.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I am worried about my reputation now as to how Stevem worked out this was my thread.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Blimey. But I tht goths were all at each other like rabbits? The ones I know certainly are.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think getting digits says anything. unless i've been passing up a lot of good opportunities.

― ENRG, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes! Goths are at each other like rabbits. Hence why they have the site.

I guess dirty dronerock types are too busy, erm, playing with Japanese monster toys and oscilloscopes, and watching archeology programmes and digging through dusty old attics looking for Hawkwind records to be bothered with internet dating. Sigh.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

www.okcupid.com

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I have already ascertained that okcupid.com is nothing but masquerading ILXors taking the piss.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

is momus a dronerock boy?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

www.okcupid.com is also full of goths. This is not an entirely bad thing.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

yes - ilxors, goths and girls who want to be Scarlett Johansen.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

wow what's Yes!'s username?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

you're not funny.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahha omg sneaky!! under a typo name!

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=10275223578163781109

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

it's coffee or nothing stingboy.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i'll stick with tantric 5th avenue walker thanks.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

does anyone other than Kate think starting up www.dronerockmatch.com would make me a lot of money?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

if you build it...etc.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I know for a fact that it *wouldn't* make you any money.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

sod that then

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

What about www.indiematch.com - helping shy indie kids get it on since 2004.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually what am I talking about? Sinister already exists...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't think about who'd started this thread before I opened it, but as soon as I saw it made sense and I smiled.

I have not had a random snog in fucking years, but then I have been in a relationship since August 16th 2001.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

And there's beer too.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Or there's always www.improvmatch.com - meet the improv-loving lady of your dreams because we know there are so many of them at improv gigs!

(there might be elsewhere, but definitely not in London)

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't think about who'd started this thread before I opened it, but as soon as I saw it made sense and I smiled.

only because you were thinking of snogging my sister i bet.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah that'll be www.incestmatch.com then - "the dating site that dares not speak its name."

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes. Yes. Yes.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

That was an x-post but I'll pretend it wasn't.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

can we not have glitchmatch.com? For people whose hobbies include algorithms, drawing on cds w/marker pen and bonking to Draft7.30 on full volume?

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I haf never bonked to Autechre.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

bonking to Draft7.30 on full volume

You mean I am not the only one?!

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Mind you, it's only in the last couple of weeks that I've had sex to Embrace and Talk Talk and Bark Psychosis. I've still never had sex to The Stone Roses or Orbital. I feel weird shagging to music I really love.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

and for people who like slayer http://deathmatch.com ?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost)

or to put it another way:

"I feel weird shagging to music. I really love."

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I've bonked to Chiastic Slide.

meet the improv-loving lady of your dreams because we know there are so many of them at improv gigs!
(there might be elsewhere, but definitely not in London)

There's one lady at all the free-jazz gigs here, but she used to be a man.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

A friend of mine was shagging away to a CD once when his girlfriend stopped, got up and said, "I'm not doing it to Primus."

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha! Class!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

there were a few ladies when I went to see derek bailey last night. he brings 'em out.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Bonkers compilations are the only musics worth shagging to.

No wonder I never pull.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

is discussing what music you'd like to shag to later part of your pulling technique? (if so yeah no wonder!)

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

ome go for the (perhaps rather juvenile, but maybe fun) "see how many we can get off with in a night" style.

hmmm. am i wrong in taking this personally?

i think you're right, kissing people can be just entertaining and theraputic, and a fun night out. i don't do one night stands, but can imagine that they could be either fun or terribly traumatic.

i met my last proper boy at a club when i was out on a girls night out, not necessarily on the pull, but certainly a possibility. he was lovely and nice and everyone loves him, and so i don't have anything against meeting people in clubs.

and met the canadian welshman when i was at a club at a party, come to think of it.

so, i think going on the pull can be ok. as long as your expectations aren't too high and you're just looking for fun, it can be good.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i met my girlfriend at a club/bar thingy too. she is lovely and i was surprised to find out she wasn't all that slutty. which, i don't like admitting, is what i usually assume* when i meet a girl at such an establishment.

*most of the time it is true tho¡

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I've gone out "on the pull" maybe three times in my life. 2 times I just sat in the corner and felt uncomfortable, and one time I snogged some dude in his van.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to think this was tremendous fun. I never actually got the nerve to "pull" anyone though.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I met Mrs Nordic in a university dorm kitchen.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

But we did then go to a bad student club and dance to "Keep On moving" by 5ive. Then it was "all good".

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

You were killing cockroaches at the time, she wondered when "this dumpy English place" would ever meet health standards, it was love...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

THE UK DOESN'T HAVE COCKROACHES

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think...

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

You've clearly never lived in Hackney.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

You were killing ~~cockroaches~~cockfarmers at the time...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

One of my flatmates when I was a fresher had cockroaches in his room. He was a nice chap except HE USED TO PUT HIS DIRTY PLATES UNDER HIS BED AND LEAVE THEM.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry...I'm a bit posh, you see.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

We shoot cockfarmers for sport where I come from.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Tally-ho.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"They Shoot Cockfarmers, Don't They?"

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

in finchley?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

That's tough turf down there, son.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

not finchley
http://ilx.p3r.net/newquestions.php?board=88

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I met Sarah at MY club night, though this was over two years before any romance developed. I like to think she was wowed by my supa DJ skeelz.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never gone out on the random pull. I just wouldn't have a clue of how to do it. I mean I know what you're supposed to do, but I wouldn't know how to get myself to do it. I'd need that WLTM man to get anywhere.

I don't view the 1/2-night stands as being a waste of time

Is a 1/2-night stand where you creep out the door at 5am?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick, standing round looking winsome and casting sneaky eyes at pretty girls doesn't count then?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Is a 1/2-night stand where you creep out the door at 5am?

I really want to make a joke here, but I'll leave it to Southall.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf?! I am NOT filthy! And you should leave at 3am.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

standing round looking winsome and casting sneaky eyes at pretty girls doesn't count then?

I don't think so.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

every time a man leaves the house, he's on the pull.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"Even just snogging random people just for the sake of it can be kind of fun and is probably quite good for the brain and ego, despite it being seen as quite a childish pass-time since a 48-hour relationship is seen by most people as a waste of time."

Cheers to the random snog. I got dumped by a woman I was quite positively mad for a few months ago. Not long after I ended up at a house party, where I made out with one girls who was throwing said party. No clothes off, no activity below the neck... HOT. Just what the doctor ordered.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to say, yes, in that wider sense, hstencil may well be right. At least he is in my case.

But I don't actually do anything much about it.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

No clothes off, no activity below the neck..

She was a paraplegic?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just speaking from personal experience, but as y'all probably noticed I like to exaggerate/extrapolate.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

also every time a man logs on to the internet, he's on the pull.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

hey baby

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I think my whole life can be characterized as only being on the pull but trying to make it not look that way.

-- Alba (alb...), August 4th, 2004 3:28 PM.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"No clothes off, no activity below the neck..

She was a paraplegic?"

Eep. No.... let me try that again. I mean to say that we kept our clothes on and did not engage in any touching of any potentially naughy bits. The whole thing was very high-school-ish (I'm in my late twenties) but very enjoyable all the same. Someone on The Black Table said recently that randomly kissing people at bars or parties is the new one-night stand - I'm inclined to believe them...

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I think my whole life can be characterized as only being on the pull but trying to make it not look that way.

every time a man leaves the house, he's on the pull.

the idea of alba and hstencil as predators is giving me the giggles.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, not to say that you guys aren't manly and charismatic and stuff.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM LIVING IN A BUILDING ON THE QUAD WHERE THOUSANDS OF DRUNK FRESHMAN GIRLS LIVE!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I write songs about staying in.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, jon.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think of it as being a predator, lauren!

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

matin' ain't eatin'. (uh not always anyway.)

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i kid, i kid.

xpost - ew. dude.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

This is what I was trying to say, lauren!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry lauren! I did start the noize dude cunnilingus thread, so I'm entirely to blame.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd never be confident enough to go out "on the pull", nor would I like the competetive edge I imagine a night with friends on the pull probably has. also a few years of drugs and alcohol binging has left me with the libido of a devout nun.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I've belatedly decided to get offended at lauren not taking me seriously as a predator.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"does she fancy me? hey maybe she does! hmmm maybe not, it could be worth a try though. on the other hand I could get another drink! yeah drink!! I love this song!!!-------------"

some time later

"ugh I have to go home, where the hell am I? I have no money and a splitting headache and I like nobody at this party"

later the next day

"hey maybe she did fancy me! probably! i was too fucked to do anything though."

x-post N I'd like to see you fight Danny Glover in a feature length film.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that how one pulls women these days? I'm so out of touch.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan's post is kind of depressingly otm.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

okay, since noone here seems to really 'go out on the pull', how/where do you meet prospective dates/shags?or is it just a case of doing the same thing as going on the pull, but less formally, so you dont actually plan it mentally beforehand?

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

how and where.......how and where.......

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

every time a man leaves the house, he's on the pull.

this would make a great catchphrase for a movie

― amateur!!!st, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

It would make a terrible catchphrase for a comedian.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

ON THE PULL

http://www.pulpexpo.com/BCoreyFieldman2.gif

every time a man leaves the house, he's on the pull.

― michael bay, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I FUCKING HATE THIS.

I hate the disappointment, the dejection, and the self-loathing that comes after the one or four occasions when you lower your standards to supposedly shore up your self-esteem.

It also drove me crazy that I lived with a guy for 2 years who is almost completely irresistable to women (still one of my best friends, but damn his mojo). That didn't much help, especially when we were down the old student meatmarkets where he was totally in his element and I was trying to drink myself into a corner or wow the dancefloor instead of talking to ~~girls~~ ~~friends~~people.

And yeah, I concede that it can happen, and mostly when you're definitely not expecting it, but it is all suckage (punintended).

Even when you're not "out on the pull", it kinda feels like you are. I mean, I am. Ah, screw it.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

if i get out of bed i'm on the pull.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I've belatedly decided to get offended at lauren not taking me seriously as a predator.

i'll run away the next time i see you, and start warning everyone i know to keep away from your roaming hands. how about that?

"does she fancy me? hey maybe she does! hmmm maybe not, it could be worth a try though. on the other hand I could get another drink! yeah drink!! I love this song!!!-------------"

some time later

"ugh I have to go home, where the hell am I? I have no money and a splitting headache and I like nobody at this party"

later the next day

"hey maybe she did fancy me! probably! i was too fucked to do anything though."

arrrrgh, so otm and so frustrating:
"hey, what happened to you?"
"i went home. i was seeing 3 of everything."
"well, so-and-so kept asking where you'd gone."
"shit."
"yeah, nice one."

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

the sad part is it becomes a convenient crutch, the next day when you think "did she fancy me? probably! the reason nothing happened was cos I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! yeah that's it! next time!"

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

aaaaaa the "so-and-so asked me where you had gone"!!!!!!

so flattering, and yet so frustrating

― amateur!!!!st, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Especially when you never, ever see them again.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my god that's the absolute worst.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

the reason nothing happened was cos I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! yeah that's it! next time!"

just convinces me more that women should make the moves more than men, given how men are generally more likely to respond positively (i can't back this up right now but COME ON PEOPLE). stupid primordial instincts...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

i decided i liked this girl and after some time started dropping hints alluding to that. she later revealed she was surprised by it but she had been wanting it too and had made a few subtle hints of her own (which i am pretty poor at detecting tho getting better). The cool thing was it had got to the point where to not do anything would've just been ridiculous - it really felt like things were going out of their way to make it convenient if not some kind of fate. it could perhaps have happened faster but then again the timing still seemed extraordinarily right when it did happen. still this is hardly 'on the pull' as it was the culmination of several months of pondering and the occasional awkward flirtation. life's really too short for all that shit tho!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

She wanted it.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://www.geocities.com/Eureka/Plaza/1554/pennywise.jpg

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCK NU ILX.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

COS OF THE PIC NOT JUST KEN C

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Especially when you never, ever see them again.

Cripes, now I'M depressed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

who wanted what?

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

SHE wanted IT.

― eat fudge banana swirl (Nick A.), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

there's a never ever see them again girl whom I met on 3 occasions.

1. at glastonbury 2003, we were stuck in the airport for a night and everyone else went to sleep, and I'd have probably done something except it was on the way home and I was on a severe comedown.

2. on a night out before christmas last year, when she was incredibly flirty but also very drunk so I didn't want to do anything.

3. at glastonbury this year, for about 10 minutes, during which we actually flirted also but that was it.

the annoying thing is she's in the same faculty as me in college, and in my friends class, but do I ever bump into her by chance? NO.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Well it's obvious what you should do. Get a contact in the faculty office, bribe them to give you her timetable and hang around waiting for her outside her classes. If this fails, bribe them for her home address and hang around there instead.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

what's the longest time you've ever pursued someone for?

I'm way ahead of you. Or perhaps, behind you.

Actually though that thread was just a stupid idea for a thread I had at around 11 this morning. I like that girl but I have a more serious crush to fry.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I have ever been on the pull. I've always had a boyfriend, because I've been a serial monogamist since I was 11 or 12. I'm usually glad I wasn't 'out there' because I don't think I could have handled it, but sometimes I wonder how my life would have been different. Knowing me, I would have gone on the pull once, come home with a boyfriend, and date him for several years.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'll go out on the pull tonight.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

You reckon there will be loads of sleazy men at the Casiotone For the Painfully Alone show?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

yay! tell him that lauren says hi.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll mouth it to him while I'm in the audience - sexily, and that.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

you should pull owen. he is the bestest and the funniest and the most endearingest.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Say, which one is Owen? He's up for a night of MANDEE-LOVIN'"

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

He has a livegournal omg

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

You reckon there will be loads of sleazy men at the Casiotone For the Painfully Alone show?

I was at his show here, so yes.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, it's hardly ever updated though.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

This diversion stops the sadness from Ronan's bout of depressing otmness upthread.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I am probably going to CT4PA here so...definitely.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know why the depressingness, I have had some good times recently. maybe not good enough!

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

adam, you say hi to owen too. don't try to pull him, though. that would be weird.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

LESS EMO, MORE ON-THE-PULL STORIES!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know why the depressingness, I have had some good times recently. maybe not good enough!

I haven't, hence it all felt a little close to home. Mind you, I don't go out on the pull here in Ghana (there are compelling reasons not to), which kind of makes things a bigger bum-out. Glad you're having fun, though!

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Stories, huh? The time a drunken, attractive 3rd year girl ran into my pleasantly suprised, drunken 1st year arms would make a great (not)on the pull story if it hadn't ended so stupidly and badly (my fault).

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I sorta pulled a guy once in my younger (read: still dating guys) years. I vaguely knew him, so it's not technically a blind pull. But I only saw him once after that and it's been 7 years. I only did it because I wanted to tell my ex- girlfriend so she'd get jealous.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan, I think you should come over to Glasgow and we'll go out on the pull.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds like a good idea. The blind leading the blind?

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

You can dress up as Danny Glover if you like.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i want to comment but i'm going to keep quiet.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Please, don't - I'm a sucker for punishment.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

The pull isn't really as appealing as the push, I have to admit.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, we'll go out and push blind girls into the Clyde.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

you are a sick man.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a Belle & Sebastian lyric!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm too old for this shit."

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

like I said, Alba, you are a sick man.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan909: it'd be ridiculous
Ronan:i have a feeling it might go ok
lauren: you'd just get e'd up and hug each other
Ronan: haha no i think it'd work!
lauren: hmm
Ronan: goofball charm squared
lauren: like an indie version of the butabi brothers

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

HEY! BAD GUYS SUCK! CAN I GET YOU AN E OR SOMETHING?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

okay this is my definition of the push: going out for the night with the intentions of meeting people to have a long, twisted, co-dependent relationship with - either to get married, live together, have kids, take yoga classes, etc...

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

oh and I forgot - raise pets!

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hello this is Nick.....and I'm Ronan"

AAAAARGH I AM EMBARASSED ALREADY AND IT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

You forgot the plants.

x-post

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick: "Ronan likes pills, thrills and golf-raving spills. I live to be the Christian Bale that never was and push blind girls in the Clyde. Do you know what we're currently standing next to?"

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we bring you with us, to help?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't even need to ask.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I love you all.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

That's very sweet, but you'll grow out of loving hopelessness.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's all snog with tongues.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

haha I'm playing an improv gig with two women this weekend, fnoo on y'all. Recorded with four last week. (Actually, I think the York improv soirees are usually pretty balanced in terms of gender. Downtown you might get more of an imbalance, not sure.)

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Thursday, 19 August 2004 05:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The concept of going "on the pull" depresses me. Not least because in London if you try even to engage conversation with the opposite sex they either (a) look at you as though you were something they'd just stepped in; and/or (b) immediately look you up and down for long-term potential. You feel as though you're expected to bring along an application form, CV, Experian credit rating and three most recent bank statements before they'll even grant you permission to talk to them. Unless you've got Beckham's looks and bank balance you might as well forget it.

And then inevitably they all get to 40 and wonder why they're alone. They could have got somewhere, used their gift for good, but instead they preferred to sit around dreaming about non-existent fantasy "boys" and giving a withering look/muttering "fuck off" at anyone who has the nerve to go within five miles of them and disturb their "dreams."

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont go out 'on the pull', i don't really go out with conscious intentions of any kind. but, even so, i have never noticed the above. i think, whenever i talk to girls, i haven't really had either of the above responses. in my experience girls tend to be friendly, but it stays at that level, or, something else happens. the withering look thing has happened on occasion i guess, but i haven't had the longterm potential/credit rating look! haha, thats hilarious, don't blame you for not wanting one of those!

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 06:43 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

Look out ladies, there's a new C-Man in town!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 19 August 2004 06:48 (twenty-one years ago)

(b) immediately look you up and down for long-term potential. You feel as though you're expected to bring along an application form, CV, Experian credit rating and three most recent bank statements before they'll even grant you permission to talk to them. Unless you've got Beckham's looks and bank balance you might as well forget it.

surely, you'll have no problem then marcello?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 06:57 (twenty-one years ago)

hahah ken you really don't want to see my looks or bank balance!

(realistic assessments of both: in a pretty healthy state at the moment)

An even worse situation is that awfully frustrating "where do I stand with this person?" scenario with someone you've met and get on well with but you are just not sure whether it's permissible to take it any further. Because of Asperger's I am not very good at reading signs/body language...I'm the kind of literalist to whom Everything Has To Be Spelt Out And Explained To Me In Absurdly Minute Detail (you know the sort of thing: MC - 1) This is a light bulb; 2) This is a light switch; 3) Press THIS SWITCH to light THAT BULB!). Similarly I need someone to say to me: MC - I! AM! INTERESTED! IT'S! OK!

I am also completely useless at "making moves" so that doesn't help either.

And yes there is someone at the moment about whom I feel this way. But I have made similar mistakes in the past so I'm completely at a loss as to what to do about it.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:00 (twenty-one years ago)

(and no, she is not an ilxor!)

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'll go on the pull this weekend at V. There's gotta be lots of indie gurls at V festival, surely?

"Oh, wern't the pixies good?"
"Yes. Fancy a snog?"

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"my friends call me the bone machine"

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been accused of always being on the pull. i wish i could get offended by this, but there's probably a lot of truth in it.

i disagree with marcello, though - i don't notice any problems chatting with the opposite sex in london. i find women are generally very friendly with me right away without the scornful looks. the situation you described is exactly what i felt about toronto, and london by comparison i find much more open-minded. maybe it's a much more single-friendly city, i dunno. or maybe i'm going to different bars. then again, i am a 'foreigner', and perhaps my accent means that people are more willing to talk to me because of that...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:08 (twenty-one years ago)

or maybe women here are just a bunch of drunks

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not being facetious, but, how can it be possible for a heterosexual girl to find it easier to score than a heterosexual boy? Is this possible statistically?

― maryann (maryann), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Not because there are more het men than het women or anything, but because men are generally much more receptive to advances from strangers of the sex they are attracted to. i.e. We're easy.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

It's easy to get a boy to sleep with you! All you girls have to do is shut him in a bedroom and touch his you-know-what and he's YOURS.

< /rampant generalisation>

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not being facetious, but, how can it be possible for a heterosexual girl to find it easier to score than a heterosexual boy? Is this possible statistically?
-- maryann (xyz3333...), August 19th, 2004 8:14 AM. (later)

yes it is possible. e.g. if only a handful of boys (the good looking/socialable/muscular etc. ones) are usually the "lucky recipient" of the "scoring" by the girls.

but of course, that doesn't really happen in real life. we all know this.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

oops i missed out another important assumption that those handful of good looking boys must also be willing to have random sex, AND they must be happy about the fact that they may be sleeping with many girls.

but of course, it's all fantasy assumptions here now.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:29 (twenty-one years ago)

From my experience I find that "foreign" women are more willing to talk and socialise than London women are. They don't seem to have the same hang-up about being "cool" that London women do; if they come into a pub or a club, they're outgoing and happy to talk to and get on with anyone, whether you're a company director or a first-year student, it doesn't matter. Even if things only progress to the friendship level you still end up feeling good about yourself. Maybe it's because they see their beauty as a key to the world rather than a shield with which they can block/lock out the world and sit there looking miserable as sin with that subtext of "impress me then."

However, I do admit that I mostly go to pubs and clubs in and around the Hampstead and Highgate areas, so concede that my viewpoint might be slightly skewed by regional trends.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 07:30 (twenty-one years ago)

but of course, that doesn't really happen in real life. we all know this.

I wonder if anyone has calculated the respective standard deviations for no. of sexual partners for men and women.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

They have, Nick, there have been many articles about how it can be that the average man has had more partners than the average woman, or something.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Which I think means there must be a legion of scrubbers out there who pull every night.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Marcello: fair point - regional trends and venues do play a BIG part in this. I have certainly been to London venues/events where I got the cold shoulder from the uber-babe, coke-vampire set. Which is fine because they aren't my cup of tea anyway (although they are nice to look at as examples of genetic freakishness and/or good plastic surgery).

In the more laid-back places (pubs, etc), I find 'foreign' and London women equally friendly to me. Although perhaps more so in the case of the former. Again, I think a lot if this has to do with the fact that I myself am not from these parts...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

marcello, you need to go out more in essex and uxbridge. seriously.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, that's what I was thinking of. And people (like maryann, but in reverse, always say on radio phone-ins, well ha ha how is it possible) and I always mutter things about standard deviation under my breath. I guess I should read more and listen to Five Live less.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, I don't think this is all of it, anyway, when it comes to answering maryann's point. We're only talking about how easy it is *in this situation* and *potentially* for a man or a woman to get a cheap lay. Also, we're all pathetic indie boys and not representative of the male population at large.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

i think guys assume it's so easy for girls, and that isn't always the case. i'll admit that it's probably easier generally speaking for girls to initiate a conversation without being shot down, but boys are so sensitive these days! even getting some making out can take loads of work.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really think that realistically it's much easier for girls at all. Because they don't want to sleep with sharky men from horrible bars. But if they *did*.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:26 (twenty-one years ago)

(all I'm really saying comes down to the fact that there are many places women can go where men will approach them and try to chat them up if they're on their own, or with a few other women. I don't think that really works in reverse, but yes, if men are able to actually get over the obstacle of making the approach, I'm sure the same venues would work for them too)

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

all I'm really saying comes down to the fact that there are many places women can go where men will approach them and try to chat them up if they're on their own, or with a few other women. I don't think that really works in reverse

Skanky bars with lots of hen nights perhaps?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I can only remember one instance in my life when I've been sitting alone in a pub and someone has tried to chat me up, and that was in a rock pub in Canterbury while I was waiting for my friend and the girl in question was wearing a Manics Holy Bible t-shirt and black nail varnish, so I ran away.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

You set male emancipation back several decades, Matt.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

If we are take average = arithmetic mean it IS impossible for the average number of partners for a heterosexual man to be greater than that the average for a heterosexual woman, assuming that the total number of heterosexual men is equal to the the total number of heterosexual women, and that we no have bisexual complications.

Proof: take the total number of heterosexual partnerships ever. Let's call it N. Now, since each partnership must have involved exactly one man and one woman, the cumulative number of sexual partners for each sex must equal N. And since we have equal numbers of men and women, the mean number of partners must be equal, the mean being defined as total partners/number of men or women.

Standard deviation has nothing to do with it.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Now, since each partnership must have involved exactly one man and one woman, the cumulative number of sexual partners for each sex must equal N.

I've heard he was promiscuous, but I had no idea...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Looking at my past I am quite frankly amazed that I ever managed to have sex with anyone at all. The sheer amount of luck involved is mindboggling.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I should go on WLTM, maybe. Perhaps there could be a rubbish indie boys program, featuring Alba, Ronan and me.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

'll admit that it's probably easier generally speaking for girls to initiate a conversation without being shot down, but boys are so sensitive these days! even getting some making out can take loads of work.

us boys are trying to even the field a little (play a bit hard to get, and woot the supply/demand balance swings back slightly for the boys)

come on boys!! just say no! one day the girls will all be begging for us!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew I was right, but somehow wrong when it came to the maths.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Basically, one woman could be having sex with all the men.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Still wouldn't affect the mean. Now, the median, OTOH...

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ricardo i thought the whole idea of standard deviation came forth from the fact that arithmetic mean doesn't tell you the whole picture.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Well median would be a much more 'real life' measure of average than mean in this case, no?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

us boys are trying to even the field a little (play a bit hard to get, and woot the supply/demand balance swings back slightly for the boys)

come on boys!! just say no! one day the girls will all be begging for us!!!!

Or maybe it's because we're so terrified of coming across as cheesy creepazoids that even when girls try to pull us we don't even know whether to reciprocate.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

shhhh!

(yes d.l. that's what we all do secretly! but we don't talk about it... it's like a secret club)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh ok.

YEH COME ON, JUST TRY AND SNOG ME BYATCHES, I DARE YA! I'LL SHOOT YOU DOWN SO FAST YOU'LL GET TANGLED IN A PYLON!!!!

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, why?

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

why what?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

in playing the kissing game, my friends and i have approached more people than i ever would normally. you might be surprised by how many guys shoot down a girl asking if they'd mind terribly if she kissed him on the lips...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I totally woudln't, unless Emma was present, or the gurl was, ahem, very unattractive to me. Which, say, Colette would not be.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah but you see Colette for some of us chaps kissing isn't just a game...

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

that's because it's obvious they are playing the kissing game and it's a bit like being asked to pass the salt or whatever.

"Do you mind if I kissed you?"

"Any prospects of sex at all?"

"No. I don't even fancy you. Actually you're pretty ugly and you're a jerk."

"Well then no then."

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Median *would* be a much more interesting average, but it always seems to be the mean that's quoted. The fact that the means DO come out differently suggests that these surveys are heavily biased, and therefore need v.careful reading anyway.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's a SPORT.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost to self)

uh i suppose i could have phrased that a little less ambiguously...

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

A thought: maybe if I stop talking about maths all the time, I might actually have sex again, possibly.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

PS. I was deliberately being a fool wif my reply, btw, lest anyone think- oh, bollocks to it. I'm up for being snogged.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

What are the chances of that, statistically speaking?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Low.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Is my fave Bowie.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Dog latin OTM. What a shitty game!

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I totally woudln't, unless Emma was present, or the gurl was, ahem, very unattractive to me. Which, say, Colette would not be.

aw, thanks. that actually made me blush.

"No. I don't even fancy you. Actually you're pretty ugly and you're a jerk."

that's not how i play, and now how most of my friends play. we tend to only pick people we actually fancy.

one of the guys that plays just told me that he actually picks 'mingers' so that they don't feel so bad. i think that's terrible, but it's his version of the game, so can't complain.

marcello, i know kissing isn't a game to everyone. but i do think that some people should take it less seriously. this thread is about going 'on the pull,' i'm just talking about ways that i've done it and seen it done. the kissing game has ended up in dates and relationships for several of us.

(NB: although it is talked about often, the kissing game is played pretty rarely...only a few times a year, probably)

(loads of xposts)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

It's taking advantage of poor stupid people who, for a split second, think you might be interested in them. It's really nasty.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

MC in agreement with Markelby shock!!!

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but Colette just said that when her and her friends play it, they generally ARE vaguelly interested!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

it's less sneaky/dishonest than a lot of what goes on.

crosspost crosspost crosspost

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

> The fact that the means DO come out differently suggests that these > surveys are heavily biased, and therefore need v.careful reading > anyway.

Yes, maybe their n. tends to miss out the tiny numbers of town bikes/prostitutes in N.

Or maybe, as they always say, it's because men exaggerate their number of sexual partners and women understate it. Which may be about societal pressure, but doesn't necessarily mean either are lying - it could just be that men count certain sexual liaisons as sex where women don't (there being a big grey area).

x-post - hey, lay off the kissing game.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

-crosspost

crosspost

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Although I am intrigued by the kissing game, I think I agree with Mark, it could be cruel.

I hate to return this back to the standard stereotype, but...

Take a heterosexual man and woman. Both of them decide "I really want to get laid tonight, and I don't care with who". The woman has a far greater chance of succeeding in this situation.

Say both of them went from person to person in a variety of environments (bars, shops, the library, ILX, whatever) and said "Look, I'm not a weirdo, but I would like to have sex with you tonight, whaddya say?" The guy (even a good looking one) would have a much larger number of rejections (plus drinks thown in his face, slaps, kicks to the groin, etc). The women may indeed have several rejections, but will succeed first.

I know this is all hypothetical bullshit and who knows what you think of this generalisation, but you have to admit that this is the most likely scenario.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I think they've actually done field research on that and it is indeed the case.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather nobody played it. It is elitist and divisive. What about those supposed "ugly jerks" who don't get picked? How do you suppose they're going to feel at the end of the night? Rejected and dejected, and they'll probably just shut themselves away for the next 50 years and never talk to anyone again ever because they're scared of being rejected again.

I'd love to know what they say even to the ones they do kiss when it comes to closing time. "Fuck off, jerk, it was a GAME"? It stinks and, even though I'm not partial to stuck-up glaring mutes who seem to have adopted Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much" as their personal anthem, they're infinitely more preferable to this kind of hypocritical, humiliating shit.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't mind.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

If someone really wanted to get laid no matter what, then they could just go up Old Compton Street with £50 and have done with it. At least that would be honest.

It's the easiest thing in the world to find someone to have sex with. That is, if all you want is to have sex with someone.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

And if you have £50

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

who's up for playing the shagging game?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

From my experience I find that "foreign" women are more willing to talk and socialise than London women are

hey, did i mention i am freddy mercury's cousin?

― dave amos, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

how long do the kisses last in the kissing game? are there tongues?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

If you don't have £50 you have no business being in London and should be forcibly relocated to Irlam or Kettering.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

£50? i can earn that in a WEEK...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:28 (twenty-one years ago)

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo...........

Not Kettering! You inhuman bastard!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:28 (twenty-one years ago)

does it really only cost £50?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I have £50 alright. I just don't like paying for sex. Although is that for the full deal, or just some sort of hand release?

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh alright then, the other Tamworth, the one in Staffordshire with the bouncy castle. You could meet Julian Cope selecting frozen foods in the local Costcutter!

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Markelby in agreeing with Marcello shockah! It's humiliating for all concerned - even the "lucky" ones who get to go home with you are being messed around. It's divisive, irresponsible and very, very thoughtless.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I just don't like paying for sex.

you mean you run off before they bring the bill? you Canadians...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

And if you have £50

LOL.

and the 'rejected jerks' probably don't know that we're playing. it's usually a group of 3 or 4 people in a club full of several hundred people. usually less than 20 people are kissed for the whole game. so it isn't like school gym class where the geeks are picked last and standing on the sides crying. (and when i'm playing, the geeks are picked first, usually)

but let's not derail the whole thing with the kissing game. i'm honest about it with people, and i don't think it is a bad thing. mark and i have different opinions about relationships, and we already knew that. that's why he's in a happy long term relationship, and i'm not. it's ok.

(loads of xposts again)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

*checks wallet*
*looks up 'old compton street' on streetmap.co.uk*

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

MC and MC are way OTT in their criticism of kissing games imo

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Rob, you're in for a wonderful surprise :)

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

and how does the arrangement work? i'm always intrigued... do you then go to some apartment? or is it a street corner jobbie? do you actually negotiate a price or is £50 the convention? Is it deemed impolite to haggle? do you pay tips?

I should have asked more questions the last time someone offered me a girl on berrick street.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

on Friday nights i'm usually up the Admiral Duncan

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

looks/money are secondary/third to spark/confidence/perceived charisma. you don't need to be particularly good looking or rich to get loads of girls interested in you. look at the people who you consider to be succesful or whatever, what is it they have?

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think getting a prostitute is as easy as is being made out. I never get propositioned by them and I wouldn't want to go up to one in case she in fact wasn't and I really offended her and exposed myself as a terribly out-of-touch male chauvinist who thought that only whores should be allowed to hang around steet corners at 3am wearing suspenders and a leather mini-skirt.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

N.B. I have never tried to get a prostitute.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

At the very least it makes you one hell of a prick tease, Colette. Don't you think some of your victims might feel slightly deflated when the pretty girl who's just kissed them gives them a cheery wave and moves onto their mate? Not all of us live in a land where everyone's so secure.

x-post - I try to take Stevem up the Admiral Duncan whenever possible.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post again - there are helpful red lights and handwritten "model" signs round where I work, Nick, if you'd find that helpful.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Mark!

prick tease

Yeach, I hate that phrase.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark if she tells them she's playing Teh Kissing Game (Possibly With Tongues, We Just Don't Know) and they consent, what's the problem?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, she does actually TELL them it's a game, y'know!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm in for a surprise, eh? Curious...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha I was talking abt 'kissing games' the other day. We agreed that they didn't happen at all post-16yrs of age. Well, I've learnt something, eh? Personally I think it's a bit distasteful.

Then again, I am expecting not to have a snog for about six months, personally. I do not DO going out on the pull. Goodness knows why anyone likes me. Not that they do anymore. NO-one will eeeever love yooooou, HONESTLYYEEEE

Oh - that's why, then.

― your full name, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sure you must have messed around a couple of girls, in your time, mark c.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

the surprise is it's cash upfront, so no bolting for you, Bolton

(xpost2)

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry Gareth, that isn't how it works out. I've lost count of all the supposed right-on socialist women I've ever had anything to do with who went on about how they wanted a nice man with a good sense of humour who isn't into money or all that macho bullshit, and yet ten times out of ten they ended up setting up home with a lager-swilling, rugby-playing, Tory-voting, six figure salary-earning City twat.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I consider myself a bit of a fanny tease sometimes

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

-tease

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

+total

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a titty tease.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Marcello, there is nothing to stop yr city twat having some of that spark/confidence/perceived charisma

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:42 (twenty-one years ago)

good looking people will always confidently play games and flirt with other good looking people. less good looking people will always be left on the sidelines. such is clubbing. less good looking but nonetheless worthy and interesting people will find gentler ways to er.. pull, like getting to know friends of friends on a social level.

― dave amos, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:42 (twenty-one years ago)

elbow botherer me

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I reckon there are many more five figure twats, eh what eh?

― i need a career, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

they wanted a nice man with a good sense of humour who isn't into money or all that macho bullshit, and yet ten times out of ten they ended up setting up home with a lager-swilling, rugby-playing, Tory-voting, six figure salary-earning City twat.

maybe he's got a sense of humour.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

God, there's so much seething male anger, bitterness and desperation in this thread. SEX WAR NOW!

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, it's not like colette is going into some saddo's bedsit, to play the kissing game. is she?

crosspostssssssssssss

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

is a fannytotal like a teetotal? guess that's me then

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Sex As A Weapon

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

SEX WAR

now THAT'S the type of war i want to fight in!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I like my fanny like I like my tea.

(I don't have a fanny of my own, before you ask)

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Poured from a properly warmed pot?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

FULL OF SUGAR LUMPS.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

... or meeting under a full moon in morocco, or touching hands over the same grachan moncurr III record in a record shop, or something actually romantic and meaningful rather than a no-questions-asked meatmarket

xpost

― dave amos, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

covered in bees??

xxpost

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

with a saucer.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

ew so that's where he dunks his biscuits

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i think it is true, but its difficult to pin down. this is why i use "perceived charisma", rather than personality. its kind of like, hmm, the robbie williams effect, sort of? (cant think of anyone else more apt at the minute) it doesnt have to be of any substance, its the way people carry themselves, they way they flirt, banter, facial expressions, the way people make themselves enticing

someone who can do all that kind of stuff, will always win out over his richer better looking peer

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

madchen has seen my tea technique. it isn't too similar to my fanny technique, in reality.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh i agree. now where i can buy me some of this 'charisma'?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure if I've kissed random strangers or not, certainly not for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooonnnnnnnggggggg time, but I have had what must constitute one night stands and I have been bad to women in the past and in turn been treated badly too. Such is life, and if an attractive girl comes up to me in a pub/club and asks if she can kiss me and I'm single then I'm going to say yes. 15 year old me would have been horrified, but I'm 25 now. It's only a kiss.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

or maybe women here are just a bunch of drunks

-- Rob Bolton

Ha ha ha. Never.

I don't think women go for money, really. What I think the problem might be (for both sexes) is going for some kind of romantic stereotype. That could be (for some mad fools) loaded city trader, but judging by my flatmates' sucsess rates starving muso boy really does it for quite a few women too. Initial attraction is based on an idea of what the person is like (ice maiden bitch, boys?), not the reality.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

also, and i may be wrong marcello, of course, but perhaps you are hanging out with the wrong people, if the people you know are drawn to that kind of tory/city people. because, in my experience, of all the girls i know, thats never happened once

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

if you're lucky.

crossposts

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh i agree. now where i can buy me some of this 'charisma'?

old compton street.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

in my experience, i have under-estimated the importance of having cool hair

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

and fancy pants

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Anna and Mr Acid both sitting pretty atop the money.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, what anna says, its the way that people carry themselves, the way that they are able to fulfill others ideas of what they might be, the ability to appear mysterious, exciting, interesting. at that stage, its irrelevant whether they actually are. this is charisma in action. a better looking guy might not necessarily have that. he may appear lifeless, dull, or staid, nothing interesting can be projected onto him.

it is LIFE that people are drawn to, or the appearance of it

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i was genuinely interested in the prositition transaction procedures btw. i really should find out more about this from that lady from the last time.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

The appearance of life IS life.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Cool hair can do you many favours. Sad but true.

What's the female version? Please don't say tits and ass. (One thousand ILx males - "tits and ass!")

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

she actually asked me on the street "heyyy honey are you looking for a girl??" and i told the biggest lie and told her "no" because i was late to a karaoke.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Female equivalent of cool hair is cool hair!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

she shouted as i was leaving "we have chinese ladies too!" haha i was tempted for a while then. but i wanted to sing "Stan" too bad.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost + xpost

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure how relevant this charisma thing is when it comes to just the 'on the pull' mentality, one night stands etc. it seems people often just go for someone they think is hot and don't care what they're like as a person as it's just a sex thing.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"hot"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

no, hot

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a lot easier to carry yourself and have a lot of confidence and spark if you've got a big fat wallet and a fuck-off sized BMW!

OK, maybe not ten out of ten. But if it's not a City twat, then it's a seven-foot-tall, single-figure IQ Antipodean backpacker ot a just-fallen-out-of-bed, self-regarding Shoreditch waster.

Question being: where does that leave the rest of us who are not biologically/genetically blessed with What It Takes? The cemetery?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

the interweb duh

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Coping strategies. I am quite short, not particularly good looking but not bad looking at all, not the buffest of characters, not particularly cool in a recognisably cool way, I have bad eyesight and a beer belly and am a geek, but I carry myself well and I'm not afraid to talk to people and as a result I do alright.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

X-post - what Steve said, dur.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

but steve, what about when a girl is, you know, not bad, but then all of a sudden, she does a *thing* or something, and suddenly shes a lot cuter, than she was before? or the way she does a look, or they way she does something.

obv, v hot people are hot whatever, but i think a lot of this is the way people carry themselves, the way they inhabit their body, its more nebuluous than just their immediate appearance

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

gosh, leave to have my lunch and have 50 posts to read...

marcello, i really don't agree that most girls are out for money and status. i'm aware that there are girls like this out there, but i don't know any of them (the closest is a friend of a friend that thinks guys in suits are cute). i think i've only dated about 2 people that make more money than i do, and tend to end up in relationships with 'starving artist' types that are funny and nice and don't spend all their time at the office.

and anna and stevem are totally OTM: good hair makes a huge difference.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

for the less biologically etc. blessed.... go for the sisters of people you know ;))))))

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Stevem is right - although it depends how determinedly 'on the pull' each person is.

marcello - there is no universal 'what it takes'. It is clearly proven that for more than one person you have 'what it takes', so what are you talking about?

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

(the closest is a friend of a friend that thinks guys in suits are cute)

guys in suits ARE cute!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Stevem is right - although it depends how determinedly 'on the pull' each person is.

marcello - there is no universal 'what it takes'. It is clearly proven that for more than one person you have 'what it takes', so what are you talking about?

**go for the sisters of people you know ;))))))**

3 of my sisters might be with me on Monday at the FAP!! No, wait...Tuesday. Oh 2 of them might be then.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

the bmws/cash thing is a red herring. i have no idea what people earn, i don't care, i don't know anyone who does care. i never mention by job/money situation, its not relevant to me, and its not going to be relevant to them either.

its abuot being at ease with people, about being at ease with your self, about being someone its fun and exciting to be around. abuot being someone its seems like it might be fun and exciting to be around. "i want a piece of that life!" "wow, they seem cool"

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

but then all of a sudden, she does a *thing* or something, and suddenly shes a lot cuter, than she was before?

you mean like a blowjob or something? ha ha, no...i understand that but this all depends on what people are looking for when on the pull - some want to meet relationship material, others just a casual shag where anything else is not so important.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, Stevem is right again. (btw in Graeth speak isn't it *blurjob*)

But of course you might be after a shag and then see someone do this mystery thing that gareth says (good description, gareth, i know what you mean) and all of a sudden they're *better than that*

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

but its subconscious, people can appear physically more attractive, by the way they are, or by the way they appear to be, whatever it is you are looking for.

this is why people use clothes! because they send out messages about what you might be. and if you can wear clothes well, thats a big one. no point looking like an office joker. clothes send out such a big message, not just what you where, but, more importantly, the way you wear them

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

the bmws/cash thing is a red herring. i have no idea what people earn, i don't care, i don't know anyone who does care.

I tend to agree, but I think it does depend on the circles you move in. Also, as one gets older, and think about partners in terms of potential families and stuff, a reasonably steady income that will help to set up home and provide for kids does become more of an issue with many people. Not mega-bucks, though.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i think that gareth is right, the personality and charisma is what takes something beyond the initial contact into something else. and, to some extent, there is that 'certain something' that some people have, which isn't just objective 'hotness', but some other part of their personality becoming visible.

if i approach someone that i think is cute and he's a total jerk, there's no way that i'll bother talking to him more (or kiss him, for clarity's sake). but if i end up talking to someone that is funny and nice, the fancying thing can grow on me. the problem is that it's hard to do that in loud environments like clubs...

(xpost-- i get creeped out by guys in suits, unless it's someone i know already. and gareth, i was thinking about clothes in the same way, but couldn't think of how to explain it)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

although, admittedly, i don't really understand the concept of going out "looking for" anything, of any description. be more relaxed about life, no point going out like some kind of hunter!

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i would prefer girls to not use clothes

― the neurotic awakening of ken c (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

marcello i think it is you, not these hypothetical ladies, who wants the wallet and the beemer

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, well, Dr C, apparently for the last person, I didn't have "what it takes," i.e. millions in the bank and massive look-how-big-mine-is car. So I hope you'll forgive the personal bias at work here.

Therefore so far in my life I have only had "what it takes" for one person, who is no longer here.

And what I really hate are people who tell me they'll only be interested in me when I'm "cured" and "sorted." What, like a pound of bacon or a fucking Royal Mail postbag? Fuck that! It's three years and I'm still in mourning. It doesn't disappear overnight like a cold.

Yes I do want to "start again." Yes I do want to rediscover the joys of a life shared. But any confidence I might once have had has taken so much of a battering these last three years that it's hardly surprising that I have none left. I suppose that condemns me to forty years of life as lived by Miss Havisham.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Today I am wearing knackered blue Carhartt carpenter jeans, an old, tight, blue Levi t-shirt, and carrying a bright red backpack. I fear this says I am emo or something.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

no point going out like some kind of hunter!

not when you can stay in with myspace

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't mind a BMW

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Female equivalent of cool hair is cool hair!

Yup, and cool accessories like bags and shoes and jewellery and, uh, scarves and stuff.

It's all total surface window dressing stuff, and what's wrong with that? If someone chooses a cool hairstyle or a cool bag (and by "cool", i mean one that suits them and flatters them, rather than one that's just self-consciously trendy or unusual), chances are it's probably worth scratching beneath the surface.

I've never been out on the pull, I don't think, although perversely, I agree with the whole "men are on the pull the moment they leave the house" thing. "Pulling" is horrible. "Meeting people" is great.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i just closed the windows for a sec and saw my reflection off the monitor jesus christ i look so cute today actually! the office girls are bound to ask me out for a date any minute.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Ever since Lauren said I couldn't be a predator, I'm quite into the idea of being one, but yes, less desperate hunting is probably a good attitude.

I rarely think 'I must find me a woman'. It's only really directed tow
owards specific women.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Gurls are bestest when dressed in boyz clothes. I should go now, huh?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

yeh meeting people and relying on some sense of charisma (making good jokes, compliments, genuine interest in conversation etc.). for a while i was stuck thinking 'ask them about them, don't tell them about you unless they ask', so i did that for a while but then noticed they still weren't asking questions about me - as if my inquisitive nature was demonstrating only that i had nothing interesting to say about myself. can't win!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://users.aristotle.net/~domiller/domualr2.jpg

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm interested in what people are like inside, not what they are carrying, as if humanity were nothing more than a glorified Selfridges Christmas display window. Or a meatmarket.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

steve likes em rude!

marcello if that is really what she though then thank f*ck that's over with

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't mind a BMW though. Just as a car, not a pulling accessory. Cos I don't do that.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think there is an inside. Honestly.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

well, in that case marcello. you have 2 choices, either wait for people who accept you as you are, or make efforts to change or compromise.

its a double edge sword. how much of your personality is static and how much is fluid? what is acceptable to change? how much is down to you, and how much is down to other people.

if someone didnt like you because you didnt have a big car, i think thats kind of lame (though i say this as a non-driver, that is my bias showing there;))

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Gareth and Anna are totally OTM on this thread. It's about swagger, about poise, about fey shy indie looks, about virgin chic, about looking like a 19th Century fop or a gay electroclash type or a burly builder or whatever presses the particular buttons of any particular group - there's no one size fits all magic key to pulling. Being able to string a sentence together and make people laugh helps too.

I think there are girls who go for money primarily, but I wouldn't argue they were anywhere near the minority. There are a lot of people projecting their own anxieties and insecurities with the opposite sex onto others here.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

but isn't what they're carrying a reflection about them inside? to have to artistic talents to choose nice clothes for themselves?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Argh, anywhere near the MAJORITY, is what I mean.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i think the outside is a reflection of the inside (thuogh i agree about the 2 not being separate), the outside is how we choose to display the inside. and everyone makes choices, even those who "dont do that", i have had this argument with ed before actually ha. those that dont make a statement with apparel, are making a statement with apparel

surely, all people judge others clothing, subconsciously? or perhaps not judge, but, we make assumptions about who they are, from the way they dress? the question is, do we write off people for doing so? that i cant answer.

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I will admit to doing so, see my story upthread.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

good hair makes a huge difference.

I hate you all.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark mate there are blokes with a full head of hair who deliberately make themselves look like you!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

mark are you looking to pull or something?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I've done it. I think people are too hung up on the idea of being shallow, and that shallow is necessarily bad when it isn't.

Mark - no hair CAN be cool hair. It's better than a receding flop-fringe.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i haven't had this many xposts on a thread for a long time.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i judge people on how they present themselves, yes, i find it a good indicator of personality.

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Where does it say the hair needs to be on your head?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Balding and/or receding blokes are constantly telling themselves it doesn't matter that their hair's falling out - OF COURSE IT DOES!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm interested in what people are like inside, not what they are carrying, as if humanity were nothing more than a glorified Selfridges Christmas display window.

but the point is that you have to get to a point where you have the chance to get to know them inside. and that means approaching strangers based on whatever suits you. it might be that they're reading a book you like, or singing along to a song you love, or wearing a tshirt from a band you've just seen, or they style their hair in a way you think is clever, or any other number of things that are external, but related to the internal.

surely, all people judge others clothing, subconsciously? or perhaps not judge, but, we make assumptions about who they are, from the way they dress?

i would go further and say that we judge people on almost everything external. even if we don't know we're doing it. it's the only way we can possibly process all the information we're getting from a person at any one time.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

the ultimate question(s) is/are this/these:

is it worth it to modify your personality, in the pursuit of happiness? or is there a line when, if crossed, it is no longer worth it? where is that line?

and i think that is linked to the idea of a static or fluid personality. how flexible is your personality? how much must others fit into your world? how does one view the self?

is it important to be happy? and what, must not be crossed, in that pursuit?

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Gareth, you seem to think I should modify my personality - well? Is it worth it?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

how could we do better in our lives? could we do better in our lives?

and, perhaps more importantly, should i put streaks of copper reddy brown into my hair?

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes it is worth it to modify your personality in pursuit of happiness, as long as it actually does make you happy. Who the fuck wants to be miserable?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

YES to streaks. I had orange hair when I was 18.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

no, mark, you are, i assume, happy with your lot? therefore, there is no reason for change, i assume. anyway, i dont make any assumptions or suggestions about who should or should not change. that question can only be asked and answered from within

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's a bit much to suppose that you can exert conscious will on yr personality like that, and in any case what people like about you might be stuff you don't even know about. Your 'personality' is not a homogenous thing that can be engineered that much.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i do

― budding indie singer songwriter (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

it would be understated, i dont want it to be bright. just, autumnal and soft

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

can you tell i am procrastinating what i should be doing today?

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

xxxxxpost to Who the fuck wants to be miserable?

― budding indie singer songwriter (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

It seems to me as if life is one long process of modifying your personality, of self-consciously isolating and trying to tone down the negative things, the things that put people off, the things that you dislike about yourself at times. This strikes me as what everyone should be working towards. Some people revel in the awkward and unappealing aspects of their personality - I've never understood why.

I'm not necessarily talking about glossing over things or trying to hide negative aspects or being falsely nice to everyone you meet either, personal dishonesty can be just as offputting.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha BB Victor vs Shell fite!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"from within" is kind of problematic with this topic. we all have 1000 muses.

$5 american if anyone can name one exclusively "internal" aspect to someone's personality.

xpost i'm waiting for my phone to charge before heading out to edmonton N9. i think cooper streaks would be fantastic.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

haha vroom vroom!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

well, in that case marcello. you have 2 choices, either wait for people who accept you as you are, or make efforts to change or compromise.

I'm forty years old. Time is running out. I am clinically depressed and my physical health this year has also been an issue.

its a double edge sword. how much of your personality is static and how much is fluid? what is acceptable to change? how much is down to you, and how much is down to other people.

I can't change my fundamental personality. I am melancholy and introverted by nature. If I wasn't born that way, I was soon knocked into it. I am not the sort who can confidently stroll up to someone and start off an innocuous conversation. Life doesn't work like that for me. And while my degree of Asperger's isn't as bad as it is for others, it doesn't help. I have all these obstacles, none of which I asked for.

Consequently people have to approach me, but what incentive do they have to do so when all they see is a miserable fucker sitting in a corner? I cannot mingle with people, or work the room. For me it's the equivalent of taking a parachute jump.

So in the end there's no answer is there? I'm lumbered with all of it.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

People who are scared of parachute jumps sometimes can manage to take them. I don't know what it is that they go through in order to be able to do so, but they manage. Personally, I couldn't do one. I'd shit myself to death.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Yuck.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

perhaps, i can't answer that. but, people do like you? all those people you were talking about on the other thread the other day? surely, they all have other friends, and, when a friend introduces you to another friend, a lot of that initial stuff is sometimes bypassed.

― cooper streaks (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Miserable fuckers sitting in a corner - there's a lot of us about!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

gareth, think the highlights would look great, but only do it if it'll make you happy :)

(xpost to marcello. i didn't know any of your background when you started posting a lot again this spring. and i wasn't impressed with what you wrote, and figured you were just a jerk. since then, i've seen you write some genuinely nice things, especially to kate, and you're not nearly as two-dimensional as you were before. i know you'll take this the wrong way, but i feel like i should say it anyway: there's nothing wrong with being shy, or melancholy or even lacking confidence. i meet people with these characteristics regularly, and it works ok since i'm usually outgoing. but you often go beyond that-- mean, cruel attacks on people. that's totally different, and i think that might be some of where your problem is.)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

omg yeah the nurses at NHS balls omg!!!!!!

(one nurse at once such parties once told me she loved me - she was drunk - and then later was kissing some other boy :( I didn't even get to play the kissing game with her!! unless she was playing "the hugging game"... the hug was nice though actually.)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i've heard that it helps to have platonic girlfriends who are nevertheless acquainted with your ahem abilities

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

platonic gfs are good too yes.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

the bridge over troubled waters, as it were.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

my g/fs are all strictly aristotelian.

― ENRG (Enrique), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes but the people I know through the day job are all married with kids and settled down! As indeed is the norm at my age.

And platonic doesn't solve the horror of waking up at half past three in the morning, screaming out to be held. But there's no one I can talk to about it at half past three in the morning, so I just go back to sleep, wake up when I'm supposed to and go about my day.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Mines are Hegelian - no wonder I can't understand a fuckin' word they say (xpost)

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

no, i meant platonic gfs who can facilitate things, act as go-betweens

when going on the pull yourself i think one needs to be as socratic as possible, don't give up steve, they were just being rude! or self-absorbed. which can actually be kind of cute, in certain circumstances.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

In fact to prove how bothered about pulling I am, I am trying to round up people to go to HOW DOES IT FEEL tomorrow night. Having a snog to the Field Mice? Crivens!!

(Is anyone else thinking of going?)

― platonicism, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean i think we're all agreed that the "first impression" lasts for all of about 10 seconds, and that that's the thing that usually prompts further, er, inquiry, but with mutual friends or just helpful buddies (see definition of "wingman" - Webster's Dictionary - Bar Edition) that first impression can be leapfrogged in favor of a simple introduction

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

No I don't have any platonic gfs, mainly because the friends I do have of the opposite sex are all spoken for anyway, so there's no time for them to do any facilitating or going-between.

Even with a simple introduction, those first five or ten seconds are still going to be the crucial ones.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, tracer is right. a vouch from a friend can be very valuable in these situations.

but there's a fine line between a vouch and the dreaded matchmaking.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

How about replacing "good looking people" with "twunts" and you're pretty much there.

I'm interested in what people are like inside, not what they are carrying, as if humanity were nothing more than a glorified Selfridges Christmas display window. Or a meatmarket.

You have to make a first impression though. As people have already said, the image you project is very important when going out to clubs and bars in the hope of meeting people (note - I said "meeting people", not "pulling"). Don't believe me? Like it or not you're not going to expect to hold a conversation about Baudelaire with someone wearing shellsuit bottoms, eyebrow rings and an Adidas cap. You're not going to be able to go to dancehall soundclashes with a power-suited Tory ice maiden.

And maybe doing random pulling is good in this way. There are lots of people you see on the street and think "Cor, he/she's a bit of alright! I'd like to get with her!" (or whatever it is that goes through your filthy little brane). But next time this happens, ask yourself if you'd really like to get together with them or if in real life, you just want to shag them and never have to talk to them again.

This is absolutely OTM. I don't see why people pride themselves on being socially inadequate. People who play up to being painfully shy but never trying to do anything about it get on my nerves. I can sympathise with them for a good while and then I just get bored with the whole schtick and want to scream "WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE IF YOU'RE LONELY?!". Is that thoughtless? I don't think so. If you're a mentally stable adult human being then what is stopping you from trying to improve yourself. Life is a lesson and all about self-improvement. If you're getting fat, go to the gym. If you're ill, go to the doctors. If there's something about you that you don't like, why not try and change that? No-one's asking you to become a super-hero overnight, but subtle changes in attitude can work wonders. It's perfectly normal and you're not doing yourself any injustices so long as your routine of self-improvement doesn't hurt you or others around you. Why torture yourself in the name of succinctness?

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost by one jillion.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds perilously close to "pull yourself together" (xpost)

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Gareth, you're wrong, I do want to change myself, and I try to a greater or lesser degree every day. The Barry you know is only one part in an infinte Barryverse.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

btw - i wasn't knocking anyone in particular in my last post.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost to colette)

I'm not keen on it, there would still be too much pressure to "perform." To me it would still feel like a glorified job interview.

(xpost to dog latin)

You don't get it, do you? I am not "mentally stable." I am a clinically depressed widower with Asperger's. Asking me even to go out and meet people is equivalent to asking me to play the tuba. I don't know how to do it. Mine is a kind of Robin Williams in The Fisher King-type situation.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The Barry you know is only one part in an infinte Barryverse.

OMG, that's the cutest thing i've read all day.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The Barryforce is weak in this one.

― the pressure!!, Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm now imagining the Barryverse with a big gleaming Mark-faced sun at its centre...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i think you have to decide. is it worth the bother? you have a nice personality right? interesting? soft scottish burr (is that the right word)? use these things!

well, dont worry about making the big impression, when people introduce you to their friends, just talk to them, dont be intense, dont make a big deal, you dont have to make a move at that particular time. just be someone its easy to feel comfortable with, dont intensify, you dont have to go for goal from distance!

highlight all the good parts of your personality

and, eh, nothign wrong with matchmaking, if subtle!

― cooper streaks (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm expecting it to be followed up by 'can't get enough of your love babe'

(xpost)

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

what do you want to change mark?

― cooper streaks 116 (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

LEAVE THE SNAKES ALONE

― the neurotic awakening of da walrus of love (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

This is all starting to get a bit 'yo, where's the bars at?', isn't it?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has turned into an adult version of What goes wrong when trying to make friends...

I'm not complaining. I think I'll read the whole thing through tonight.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

soft scottish burr (is that the right word)? use these things!

Yeah, that really works! Aye, right.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Best xpost ever. Nick and I are the same person.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Can't help being intense. It would be impossible for me to strike up a conversation with someone and not start talking about Laura within about two minutes. That usually puts anyone off straight away, but what am I supposed to do if someone's just met me and wants to know about my life and how I got here? Am I supposed to pretend Laura never happened? Catch 22.

Maybe I'm just not ready for this sort of thing yet. Maybe I never will be.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i agree about Scottish accents (male and female) being sexy - damn their drunken hids

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost to self)

Especially when, after two years, I thought I'd finally found someone and she/it turned out to be a disaster. Puts you off ever wanting to talk to anyone again.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I always hear great things about cognitive behavioural therapy. Have you asked your GP about that?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I do realise this Marcello - sorry I really wasn't ranting at you particularly.
At the same time you do seem to have a rather Hobbesian attitude towards the dating game. I guess it does feel like this sometimes, especially within certain crowds where one doesn't feel like they sit so comfortably.
As Gareth says - you must look at the positive aspects of yourself. Not everyone can be the guy with the car and the medallion and the hairy chest, but then who wants to be? And who wants to be with the kind of person who likes that kind of thing?

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

is this too much of a derailment? i am unsure

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i agree about Scottish accents (male and female) being sexy - damn their drunken hids

So people keep telling me - I've not seen any evidence for it tho

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

well , going out 'on teh pull' != finding that special someone.

xpost

― ENRG (Enrique), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

which part, the bit about the sexy accent or being drunk in their hid all the time?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, I thought all you UK dudes met girls on the internet anyway?!?!?!?

(kidding)

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I'm Scottish and am drunk all the time which combined with the accent probably makes me less sexy than plain incomprehensible

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

well i THOUGHT they were girls...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxpost (jesus with the xposts!)

Whoever that was I'm most likely to be going to how does it feel tomorrow! you should come say hi to me and we'll form a pulling tag team.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

UK dudes + US girls + internet = like whoa

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Hstencil wins.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

hstencil makes maths fun

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

what do I win?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

And six times a billion is....?

― jack black!!, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

a free sample of Musque, my sensational new fragrance

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

perhaps you are right marcello. i know the things you need to do/change to increase your chances, but, it may be too high a price to pay for you.

on the other hand, life is about risking, if you cant not talk about laura, thats fine, talk about her, you can still focus on the positive, perhaps.

i think one thing might be to drop the anger about city bankers with beemers, and antipodeans stealing away potential dates. people not wanting you because you are intense and unstable and grieving, is not the same as them not wanting you because they have disappeared with a bronzed tory banker with a beemer.

― david acid (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

:looking around for the other american girls on this thread:

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

oh great steve m that will help me pull.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

what about US dudes + UK girls + internet?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

A disaster.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

My 2000-2001 relationship to thread, Ken.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

wow two refreshes and still no posts!! i've successfully killed this thread!

oh, xxpost

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Very low pass rate so far, Ken.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

damn Merkinz, loggin' on the internet, takin' our women

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Doesn't work that way round, Ken - Sinist3r has Proven this By Science.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread has made me realise that (with the exception of the kissing game), i almost never go out on the pull, and almost any time i have gone out for an evening with the intention of pulling, i've failed miserably...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

my question about the kissing game was not answered :(

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah I was gonna say, I've never heard of a US dude/UK girl thing, but the opposite.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Positive things about me:
Looks-wise, not at all bad for 40
Good day job which I enjoy doing and for which I get paid well
Useful sideline as freelance music writer
Loves music, art, literature and walking
Once you get to know me, kind, funny, considerate, loyal and mischievous
Good where it counts

Negative things about me:
Widower
Mild Asperger's
Clinical depressive
Don't drive
Not interested in sports
Pathological shyness usually mistaken for arrogance
Virtually impossible to get to know me
Tendency towards periodic nervous breakdowns on internet message boards
Probable borderline paranoid schizophrenia
Not "sorted"

You'll notice that the negatives far outweigh the positives.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

*coughs and waves hand to Stence* Hello!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

what was it, steve? did you post it while i was at lunch, and then had to read quickly?

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

you're the only exception, Ned, to every rule.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

that is to say you're exceptional! Rah!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

colette: average duration of kiss during the game? tongues?

i'm going to run a poll...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

my questions about prostitution also unanswered :(

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

They don't Marcello, there are just more of them, which is different to how much they weigh.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a female friend who had a transatlantic relationship. It ended in tears.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

That's funny because I was just thinking the positives rule on that list Marcello

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

and also do you think the Kissing Game is in reality something only girls could get away with, both in the UK AND the US, or indeed anywhere?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I missed the prostitution questions, ken c. What can I help you with, ken c? (at $50 every 15 minutes).

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

that is to say you're exceptional! Rah!

Amazing!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Dammit Southall semantics ain't gonna help me make it through the night!

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

marcello, will you move the 'not interested in sports' to the positives? it can go either way, but it certainly isn't a negative...

steve-- um, often tongue, although not always (i feel so middle school right now). duration is hard to say. sometimes it's really quick (on the rare occasions when it is really competitive), but i've ended up quitting the game after the first guy because i actually really liked him and didn't mind losing to kiss him for the rest of the night.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Can someone compile a list of unanswered questions in this monster thread?

And can people post to other threads too!?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I realised a long time ago that I was crap at smalltalk. I still am really. But I made a conscious effort to learn how to do it *adequately* enough to get beyond that and give people a bit of breathing space when I met them. I can do the smalltalk thing OK now without thinking about it, but I still have to occasionally remind myself of how to talk to to people well - you know, ask them about themselves, don't hog the conversation etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with this.

X-post, but I'll post anyway :

Also, Marcello, I think you could rehearse a sort of 'less intense' intro to yourself. I'm not saying pretend Laura never happened, but it needn't totally define you. Think of what you have achieved recently. Don't think of yourself as 'widower', think of stuff that provides a way for someone to engage in conversation with you - it can be any old crap, what you're reading, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the pub, 'I've got to review 27 singles for Time Out by tomorrow and they're all shit' . I think the thing is to maybe think about these in advance if it doesn't come naturally. Also, you do actually come across as a kindly, friendly person, so you have a natural advantage here.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

thanks Colette, very interesting

― the neurotic awakening of creepy creepington (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

steve--often it's the guys that win, when we play co-ed. might just be my experience, but that's how it's worked out in the past. this is possibly because i have giant cooties.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Your search - giant cooties - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
- Try fewer keywords.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

giant cooties?

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

what about all the people on here? perhaps some of those have some friends that might be suitable. why not come down with dr c to the freakytrigger night?

i am afraid to ask, but what are cooties?

i am leaning towards a yes on the copper streaks, but, how to do it?

― cooper streaks (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

who was the person who wanted to go to how does it feel earlier?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't mean that totally sematically, but metaphorically as well, as in the positives, though fewer than the negatives (as perceived), are BETTER than the negatives are BAD, and ergo outweigh them. Metaphorically.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont know, but i could be persuaded, ken, i have not been to an mimsy indie night in a while. are there cuties there?

― cooper streaks (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, Dr C, but then you come to the question: "well, how did you end up doing singles columns for Time Out" and such questions always have the same ultimate answer. Maybe I should wear a little placard around my neck which gives people all the info they need, i.e. widower, will talk if approached, takes time to warm up, a bit intense, but worth persevering with, etc. But then we're back in the meatmarket.

If there was a strategy for learning to become less intense, then I'd be glad to hear about it.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

the whole point of cooties is that they're not giant!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

marcello, the strategy for becomign less intense is this: focusing on the other person instead of yourself

― copper streaks (gareth), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

otm

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's a giant Cootie. I loved Cootie.

http://www.paulawirth.com/portfolio/cootie.gif

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

'Confident' people aren't focused on themselves, they're focused on making sure the people around them are OK / entertained etcetera.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I would totally kiss any girl who had one of those, suzy.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

That would make you a paedophile, N. It's a kid's game.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

you're a boy though so supposedly you'd kiss anybody.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

That was Starry who mentioned How Does It Feel upthread, Ken. She is still having bother with her cookies and hence can't log in.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

**perhaps some of those have some friends that might be suitable. why not come down with dr c to the freakytrigger night?**

Who's coming down with me? I don't know if I'm coming down myself. Will there be *the kissing game*? That could swing it.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

aw sarah still has problems with the giant cookies??

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

are you coming too ricardo?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

First I'm not a predator, now I'm a paedophile. This thread is doing nothing for me.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

**marcello, the strategy for becomign less intense is this: focusing on the other person instead of yourself **

Yes, Gareth that's what I was trying to say. As well as 'you can learn how to do this'.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ken i will go to said indie night with you (very close to my house innit). but i am not that other poster. wow we have ping-pong to play too! OMG ken c is my new best friend!!!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

sarah's got giant cookies? ROWR.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I probably would, but I'm back up in York this w/kend.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really know what that means.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Dr C, I'm sure Tico Tico will instigate "the kissing game". failing that, Baran will.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

You're a non-predatory paedophile though, which is ultimately harmless. Like being a vegetarian alligator or something.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

hahah yay! i've pulled!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't you know ken c is the leader of nu-ILX?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

cooties are the vague 'germs' that the opposite sex has when you're about 8 years old. girls chase boys, who don't want to catch 'cooties' and vice versa.

gareth, i think feria has some nice highlighting kits. i'll be happy to help with haircoloring, if you'd like! i used to do my own all the time and miss it.

i don't think i could ever play the kissing game at an ILX event, because everyone already thinks i'm scary. i'd be happy to be the ref, though.

oh-- how late does HDIFTBL go? am going to the hayward to hear some of the warp dj's first...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd agree - the positives do far outweigh the negatives on Marcello's list - they really do. It's very easy to resign oneself to the "no-one will ever love me because I'm ____". It's hard to shake and everyone does it. I have a hunchback, moles all over my face, a beer-gut, man-tits, I talk too much (or so somebody told me only yesterday, am prone to awkwardness and laughing at my own jokes all the time - and this gets me down and it's a bummer and it makes me feel completely unworthy of human contact at points. On good days though I can try and stand up straight, ignore my skin, suck in my gut and learn to shut up (haven't worked out the man-tits bit quite yet, but I'm working on it). Then, and only then may I even feel like I might possibly be able to chat to someone I don't know in a social context.

..but of course by that time I am roaringly pissed. I might end up speaking to someone, but then as ever, it does feel like a job interview. You try and talk but your arms have turned into some kind of gelatine substance and this sudden "WHOOMPAWHOOMPAWHOOMPA" noise starts up in my ears and I can't hear what she's saying and I go "WHAT?" and I say it too loud and right in her face and I feel like I ought to ask her something but I can't think of anything other than "so, do you have any brothers or sisters? what are your hobbies?" etc. so I end up telling her something - something interesting/funny/witty/wild but it turns into a long run on analogy that falls flat and kills the conversation. Then silence. And it's the worst silence in the world - gut caves in, I avoid eye-contact, then look, then look away frozen to the bar floor. More silence and then I decide to say something but so does she and we have a bit of a struggle and I say, "no, you go ahead" and she says "oh, I have to go and join my friends, see you later". And then I go to the bar and die.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

BIG xpost (maybe we ought to just stop writing "xpost" and then some moderator can rejiggle the thread?)

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

before hdif do you + starry (and others whoever's coming) fancy a few pints beforehand?? i had a bottle of newcastle brown ale at that wetherspoons nearby and i would very much like to repeat the experience (this time with friends!)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to go to this indie disco thing this weekend. I haven't been on the pull in ages. I will report back on my failed exploits on this thread! (xxxxpost)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

(HDIF is on til 2 i think colette!)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, all I can say is that I always try and focus on the other person, my last partner commented that that was one of the things which attracted her to me, the fact that I was continually asking things about her and not saying a lot about myself. But in the end that still didn't work out, did it?

It's just been an intense week for me - putting together this Resonance programme, I got out all of Laura's old correspondence, printed out her old emails, looked at photos of places we'd travelled to, and dear God it all came back - sitting at my desk, trying to rehearse my readings but hardly able to see the pages because of crying. Hopefully I won't do this when it comes to the actual broadcast; it was like reading the oration at Laura's funeral - preparing for it was an emotional nightmare, but when it came to actually going up there and reading it, I was able to switch myself off and just got on with it.

And learning about Kate's health news did my head in, emotionally. I know we've had our ups and downs on ILx but I still consider her a dear, dear friend and want to try and help her in whatever way I can, though I'm sure it won't come to the worst. I am aware that it hasn't exactly been the best of times for her recently. I know I'm a silly old pernickerty ranting curmudgeon but I'll always stand by my friends, even if sometimes I'm the last person they want anything to do with!

Sorry, this is going way, way off-topic.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

man Marcello, I am sorry. I haven't been through 1/5th the hard times you have, but that talk of everything coming back is so exactly how it is in my experience too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

we should start some SEX WARS at HDIFTBL

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

2am, I think, for HDIF...

Tico Tico is A MARRIED, Jimmy, he won't do that sort of thing.

xxxxpost - aye, pintage wd be RAWKz0R!

― doing things, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

who wants to play the shagging game with me?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

that was a horribly timed x-post. jesus.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate nu-ILE.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I know he is A MARRIED but I am sure he would be an instigator! Him and Dr C could kiss. It's not cheating if yr both men and MARRIEDS.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

yay! okay then, how about a FAP at the white swan(?) wetherspoons pub on upper street? say from 8 o clock? (or before?)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

apparently, every night us boyz go out it's The Shagging Game.
as long as it doesn't turn out like that movie The Crying Game

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

my last partner commented that that was one of the things which attracted her to me, the fact that I was continually asking things about her and not saying a lot about myself.

not to demean your choice, but haven't we already established that she's shallow and a bit self-obsessed? this totally fits the profile.

marcello, i've said that it's ok to be shy, and even to have all your issues. i just think that if you make a tiny effort to show your better side to people, they'll respond to you in a much more positive way. i mean, i haven't wanted to kick you in the teeth for at least your last three posts, so that's progress! (only slightly kidding)

(xpost--- laughing so hard at rob's posts)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

wow ken that pub is SCARY! i'd rather avoid that place...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not going if there is a Sechs War!

8 at the Wetherspoons nearest H&I (that's the one you mean, right?) sounds okie by me => it is v cheapo hurrah! And I'm guessing we wdn't be there for long...

― parapappa, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

just so not to clog up this thread :(

FAHDIF (aka fancy an indie chick/dude) friday 20 aug

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone who had the misfortune to witness my brief, paralysed (virtually autistic) appearance at Trig Brother a few Saturdays ago will realise how difficult it is for me even to "make a tiny effort." Even Mark S couldn't persuade me to stay on. That afternoon I really felt that I shouldn't be let out of the house, both for my own protection and for that of the public.

And it was all entirely my doing! All my fault for being a misanthropic maniac on ILx! Aren't I clever?

(answer: no)

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

marcello, i can say that for me it was that my only experience with you was when you were telling stevem and me to fuck off when we went to brighton, so why would i be nice to you, once i figured out who you were? you don't seem to be nearly as nasty right now, and if you let some people know that you'll be somewhere, and ask them nicely if they'd like to talk to you (see rob bolton's offer to talk music, somewhere around here), i suspect you'd have a nice time and actually might make new friends.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

ha, i've just been informed that i'm going out somewhere in chelsea tonight with a friend that wants to 'get wasted and flirt with lots of cute boys.' and i'm supposed to 'dress cute'. this feels like involuntary pulling. and i don't know how to dress cute. sigh.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

for girls, "dressing cute" means like getting dressed, basically.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i think colette really should help us out by telling us next time exactly where her friends are going to be hoping to get drunk and flirt with boys.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

desperation is unnatractive dude

― Porkpie (porkpie), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm too big to be cute. i think she might have meant 'what you were wearing on saturday was nice, why don't you try that again!?' when i can't imagine another situation where i could be coaxed into a pencil skirt and strappy heels. (my calves *still* hurt. i think i pulled something. i suck at being a girly girl)

ken, my friends come to ilx stuff all the time. i'm sure several will be at club FT next week. generally the ilxors don't talk to 'outsiders' though!

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Tall girls can be cute, you know. I tell Sarah this all the time.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man this thread ...

ANYWAY I wouldn't mind trying this kissing game thing, ALTHOUGH I am probably far too shy and scared of rejection to go up to a stranger and ask to give 'em a kiss. Maybe if I were really drunk - but that's a turnoff.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i talk to outsiders!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

rob, you're canadian, it's different. besides, you've camped with all my friends. they aren't outsiders to you.

mandee, you should come to london and we'll have a game. we tend to drink loads of cava before playing, so you'll be fine.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm too big to be cute.

WHOA WHOA WHAT?!!!?

Hi Mandee! Good morning!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I think all of my fears of rejection come from the one time I asked a guy for a snog and he said "Umm, no thanks."

>=O !!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

HI STENCE

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

man that sucks Mandee but think of it this way, maybe the guy had giant cooties or was gay or something.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh doesn't CUTE = petite? Since you are tall, Colette, that means you are BEAUTIFUL.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

cute != petite!!!!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

mark, maybe it's true for sarah, and i don't want to get into a thing where it sounds like i'm fishing for compliments because that's totally not what this is. i can be pretty at times, and have been called 'hot' sometimes as well, which is ok. but i am *not* cute. cute is small and soft and cuddly. reece witherspoon in 'legally blonde' sums up 'cute' for me. that is the total opposite of me.

(xpost-- aw, thanks mandee. and i've had tons of guys run away when i've asked if they'd be ok if i kissed them. oh well)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

REECE IS NOT SMALL!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh come on - she's wee!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean I've never seen her in person but she seems pretty big to me. Also, the older chick in that movie pulled the UPS guy, and she's big, so there you go.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe I'm comparing anything in Legally Blonde to real life. I can't believe I've even seen that movie (it was showing on the flight to Spain in 2001 - as Una Rubia Muy Legal!).

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

colette's comment about 'not talking to outsiders' sort of fits with what Mr Carlin was criticising Club FT (and London ILE in general perhaps) for on the latest Club FT thread. I'd just like to point out that rather than a disinterest in outsiders this can actually come down more to there being so many people there that people may want to talk to (i.e. at a big FAP there's always one or two people I miss out on talking to altogether cos of the quantity AND quality), oh and also that everyone on here is a shy fuck of course.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe the solution is for us all to watch Legally Blonde more. I still haven't seen Legally Blonde 2 - I don't know if this casts further light on matters.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Legally Blonde 2 doesn't really have much to say. I think, though, that you may be right, N.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm not saying only cute people pull, or that everyone in legally blonde is cute. just that reece's character is what i think of when i visualise 'cute'

i'm going home now to try to figure out what to wear tonight when my friends are obviously on the pull and i'm not. perhaps my glasto raincoat will be appropriate!

xpost-- everyone can come to mine for a legally blonde party. i think woolies has them for 2/£8!

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I spoke to a blonde for quite a while last night. I asked her how she felt when another blonde enters the room - does she feel competition and etc.? Sometimes I think I'd be better if my name were Patti and I was a blonde. Okay this has nothing to do with pulling.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

wear the lip gloss for the kissing game mmkay?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Legally Blonde 2 is great.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Legally Blonde 1 is great too.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

REECE IS NOT SMALL!

you're nuts, h. she's like 5'2" and 110lbs.

xpost - both films are quite cute.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I like "Maid to Order" better.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I like "Maid to Order" better.

Is that like a teen-flick version of the Stepford Wives?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

No... it's like.. oh god, I dunno. It's just good.

Ally Sheedy is in it and she has a mullet!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

well I know two things about Reece that are not small.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the thing with Reese is that she's skinny but relatively wide, or big-boned, or it's her shoulders or something. I don't know. She is the epitome of cute though.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

Reese doesn't have big knockers!

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought she only had one kid?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

They look big enough to me!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Racheal Leigh Cook is cuter than Reese.

Reese is my favourite actress.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like her better if she was bigger.

????

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

>REECE IS NOT SMALL!
>you're nuts, h. she's like 5'2"

maybe the confusion is down to her increasingshoes (!)

http://www.increasingshoes.com/moviestar/Reese-Witherspoon.html

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The only thing big about Reece might be her chin.
(I think she is teh cute)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"What goes wrong when trying to pull Reese Witherspoon?"

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

her pussy husband gets in the way.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I really don't get the Reese Witherspoon thing - she's not that cute!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Cutness is in the eye of the beholder.

I don't think I've ever been on the pull btw. It just wouldn't feel right.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Matt DC OTM.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I may be confusing her with Tim Witherspoon.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway i am putting my request in for a pulling success story pls

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I pulled a muscle once.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

It wasn't worth the pain.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I killed the thread.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

SUCCESS stories, jel.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, success. Hmmm, the cupboard is bare!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

reese wetherspoon has an ugly jaw.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

It's part of her charm!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

it's part of her face.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

my friend pulled me down on to the floor of the bar last night and gave me an unsightly bite mark on my neck. does that count?

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

well, it'd be kinda strange if it wasn't

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

opps x-post

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

she could have ops, to fix that.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

her face.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

what is this thread about again? the other one is about 'goodfellas'.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

PULLING!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

this one is about urban planning.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 19 August 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought it was about birth control?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

It's about protection.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 19 August 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Reese Witherspoon has a normal sized forehead on a micro-sized head/body combo which = she looks teh large and is actually teh small.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 19 August 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Three things.

1) Ally Sheedy

2) mandee, you should come to london and we'll have a game. we tend to drink loads of cava before playing, so you'll be fine.

3) I forgot the third thing. I forgot everything. I had this great question lined up about people who sit on the most uncomfortable seat in the room and now I can't remember that either.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

But what about the three things, Tracer?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

It's been a weird night. I delivered an envelope to somebody who had a Scarface poster on his wall, NEXT to an Al Pacino poster. I listened to a CD of his family's homemade gypsy pop music. I was bidden to eat some stew. And then I smoked joints with an Irish nurse. Nobody pulled me down and bit me!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Which I'm just going to tell myself is good.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

hey, mandee - how was the casiotone show?

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

reese's hair is cute

http://www.aktobekino.com/restricted/r/reese_witherspoon/rees1.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

That chin = sharp as an elbow.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Her boobs are bigger than I remember, as is her chin. I don't think that's the nicest photo.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen her naked. It was on the internet.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

How could you forget about the boobs?!!

xpost

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

she's always been pretty buxom for such a little person.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know. Maybe I've got a bad boob memory.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

You awful man.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Someimtes I don't remember boobs, either.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Basically, I don't deserve to date her.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"Reese, I've seen you naked on the internet already but I don't remember how big your boobs are. And your chin? Well it's quite a surprise."

It must be weird dating celebrities.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

don't say the thing about her chin.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Through butter like a hot knife.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm... I am now imagining hot butter dribbling down Reece Witherspoon's chin.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.abdn.ac.uk/~src180/chemsoc/LOOKALIKES/tex.jpg

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Reese. Jesus, this relationship really is going nowhere.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Anniversaries are important to her.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

she's so good in election: "FUCK ME, MR.MCALLISTER!"

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, she looks kind of boss-eyed in that photo. I don't know why I set my sights so low. There'll be no anniversaries.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

her victory dance film in that is teh cutest

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I've still never seen Election. Maybe I could learn to love her, see the person inside and all that.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

chris klein's girlfriend in that film is hotter tho

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes but is she hotter than the person inside Reese Witherspoon?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

How big are Reese Witherspoon's kidneys?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

if you change that img's url above from rees1 to rees2 or rees3 you can actually see her naked...

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

You see! Now her boobs look smaller again. Women are weird.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

In rees2 she's doing that cute thing with her face. I should give her a second chance.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I just don't know where I am with her. We have such a complex relationship.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

In rees3 she does look kind of big. Look at those triceps! I'm OK with it, really I am.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the kissing game? Do you score points for how many people you kiss?

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

(And will this be on the agenda for the next Toronto FAP?)

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

The kissing game: revealed

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

my ONE AND ONLY pulling story. there was a cute girl with a great eggplant colored bob (green light) who worked in a coffee shop (red light) near where i used to live. i saw her at a club being chatted up by some sweating asshole (i'm sure he was very nice, on the inside); as soon as she dispatched him i leaned in and said "wtf was with that dude ha ha etc" and we chatted for a while. she said she was going to africa soon. la dee da, lovely evening, nothing more.

CUT TO abt a year and half later i ran into her at another show, she came up to me and said i looked familiar, and in some kind of momentary spasm of possession by the spirit of Jason Patric i said "yeah, cos i tried to pick you up once and you gave me some bullshit story abt going to africa." somehow this came out with some charm attached, cos she then "convinced me" she had actually gone, which i never doubted; we made plans for a date, it went well, but i managed to fuck it up irrevocably in a matter of weeks.

so yeah. good story huh.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 20 August 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes I FUCKING KNOW THAT DESPERATION IS UNATTRACTIVE! TOUGH SHIT! THAT'S THE WAY I FUCKING AM AND IF PEOPLE CAN'T HANDLE IT IT'S TOO FUCKING BAD! GO AND TALK TO SOMEONE WHO'S LESS HARD WORK!

Another thing - grown women talking about "cute boys" is creepy. As in "paedophile." I find that a major turn-off.

Just so that you know.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

people can handle it. remember, all those people that like you? and what about mark s and dr c and doomie, and all those people? what about their friends, surely they'd introduce you to new people.

the problem is this, it isnt tough shit, not for them, because they won't care. you care. and, either, you have to deal with the fact that people are sometimes scared off by desperation, and try and not be so intense about it, give them a chance (after all, any new relationship is going to be only 50% about you, and 50% about them, and if they are going to have to forgive you your foibles, then you are going to have to forgive them theirs?), or, tell them they have to DEAL with your desperation. but, what if they don't? where does that leave you?

if you expect them to be more flexible, what about you? can you meet them halfway?

you like this women, do you want to give it a go? or pre-emptively become angry with her for choices she might make, and difficulties that might occur. she is to be accepting of you, can you do the same.

or, do you prefer a self-fulfilling prophecy? one that means you don't have to bother, and its not your fault, because hey, she'll only go off with some rich beemer driver?

its your life, its you that'll feel the benefits, and you that'll feel the disappointment. is it worth it? perhaps it is not just prospective dates that will havbe to deal with it, or tough shit, but also you that will have to deal with it, or tough shit.

you can do this. if you want.

― david acid (gareth), Friday, 20 August 2004 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm not in a position to know what this woman thinks until september, for reasons far too complex and tedious to go into here. also i am suspect that i have yet again mistaken potential friendship for something else and therefore become too intense about it. if there had been any interest on her side she would have got in touch with me by now.

also i gave her my email address but she didn't give me hers. guess i should have taken that as a "no" or a "nice meeting you, now fuck off forever jerk."

you know, if she'd been interested she would have reciprocated.

anyway it's a fantasy, like all other similar occurrences. it doesn't exist outside the confines of my fevered mind. so i'm going to forget about it/her and continue to live my current "life."

let's face it, i wouldn't bloody go out with me.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 06:52 (twenty-one years ago)

let's face it, i wouldn't bloody go out with me.

well, then. if you wouldn't go out with you, how can you berate others for not doing so? you have to drop anger at others if they say no.

ok, so you dont know anything till september. that is fine, youve given the email address, ball is in her court. you are right, dont get intense now, go on with other things, put this to back of mind. it is quite possible that she will mail just before the point in september. dont forget, people mostly dont respond straightaway, even when they are superkeen.

you need to make this one less important in mind, but, at same time, not pre-emptively push her away in own mind. just put this on a shelf, until she responds in september. do not expect immediate replies. ever. let them have space to do their part also.

DONT BECOME ANGRY WITH THIS WOMAN. not yet at least

do the anger thing on here instead (if its coming round again), if you need displacement. people are used to it now, its probably the best place for it.

― david acid (gareth), Friday, 20 August 2004 06:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no I've no intention of getting angry with her. I can't make her get in touch with me if she doesn't want to, also she is super-busy with another project at the moment so it's entirely understandable that she just doesn't have the time for all this right now. Plus there is the extremely high probability that she likes me but Not In That Way.

I dunno. When you meet someone and within an hour of meeting them you're walking down the street, chatting away and laughing, and she takes your arm without any prompting from you, does that indicate that she's interested or just being very friendly?

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 07:16 (twenty-one years ago)

(although self-caveat: we met via a mutual friend and i am not entirely clear whether her friendship with said mutual friend is just friendship and nothing more so you realise i have to be VERY careful here. i could easily put my foot in it and neither of them would ever speak to me again)

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

The two things are not necessarily seperate, Marcello. It's not a binary thing, the areas merge.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

It's just the "not knowing" that makes me anxious.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 07:24 (twenty-one years ago)

erm, Marcello dude, I was talking to Ken, you don't seem desperate, just sad, and not not sad in the italicised sense.

― Porkpie (porkpie), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Marcello, we really need more of your Jools Holland pisstakes and bulletins from Chingford Tor. Just the thought of it gives me the giggles and it might make you feel better. Also every time I see the terribly macho KEN STOTT trailer w/heavybreathing possibly VERY METAL announcer...

Being alone when you don't want to be is bloody difficult even without loads of emotional baggage. But it is exhausting to hear, all the time, how much you think you suck or how difficult and miserable that makes everyone think you are, in your opinion, which seems like some sort of face-saving projection, a pre-emptive strike against the 'inevitable' rejection. I wish sometimes there were set procedures for friend-making to stop people beating themselves up over multiple possibilities of how others might perceive you.

Oh and I know all about tiptoeing around pre-existing friendships because you feel it's not your business to demand an explanation for more nebulous interfriend weirdnesses.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Aye, not knowing can be horrible. I guess you have to try and learn to enjoy it, which sounds mental, but the thrill of possibility can be wonderful if you don't allow the anxiety to get a grip.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:31 (twenty-one years ago)

For 'you' read 'them' - anyone seen my jar of d'oh?

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I preferred this thread when it was good.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Not knowing is a pain, but sometimes things take time to settle. You can't expect to blow someone away the first (or second or third) time you meet them. But the fact that you got on so well with this person can only be a positive thing. I'm sure if you remember Gareth's advice then things will reveal themselves slowly. You can't expect instant results with this.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, PP, sorry about that.

More generally, I wonder whether it's worth waiting for a response or whether I should just go ahead and explore other possibilities.

Yeah, Suzy, I hear you, I hear you, but when you're (a) surrounded by mementoes of a previous life when I DIDN'T have to deal with ANY of this; (b) just been dumped for reasons which pretty well confirm what I'd thought about myself; and (c) the OTHER STUFF that's happened to me this year which only you/Mark S/Kate/Nath/Doomie know about, it's rather difficult to psyche myself up into doing some more Chingford Tor Ascender-style rollicking rants.

I am hoping that the Resonance programme will act as some kind of "closure" and that perhaps the reaction to it (if any) will encourage me to...aargh!..."move on." Then perhaps I can get back to the funnies come September time. We'll see.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What I'd say, and what's worked for me (and I had similar problems seven years ago when my aunt died of cancer - our family has degenerated into petty squabbles and 4000 miles is its own filter) is after you've made some sort of creative effort with the memory you will have the sense of drawing *some* lines under it. That will help. In my case, it took about two years to even begin to recover the idea that MY MOJO WAS WORKING because I felt an enormous sense of guilt at surviving in the first place (I recovered from a terminal cancer diagnosis aged 4 when it was a fluke to have discovered I was ill at all, to give you some indication of possibility for headfuck), and I've often wondered in the darkest moments of that whether the solipsism, detachment and disjointedness I was feeling was something more permanent than a temporary numbing shock.

Part of the problem you've got is, yeah, the fact that you were largely protected from the slings and arrows of young adult single life by your relationship - so of course it is going to feel very alien and weird to be in this position, especially as a result of circumstances of great sadness. Massive possibilities for headfuck here, no mistake - but knowing that, you might be able to begin dealing with it. In my case, gallows humour helped with the misery component, as did time.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:02 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread makes me feel kind of bruised inside. It's like some kind of emotional roller coaster ride.

I had a couple of things that I wanted to say earlier, but now I don't think that I do.

Pulling isn't about what you look like, or your bank balance, or anything else. It's about the amount of energy that you project, pure and simple. I know it's very hard to project energy when you are depressed or lonely or whathaveyou. But if you are trying to pull and/or meet people *because* you are depressed or lonely, I think that's trying to meet people for the wrong reasons.

You *have* to approach potential partners or pulls thinking about what you can offer them, as much as what the hole (literally or otherwise) that they can fill in you.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I can offer them cheap double glazing.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't project the cheap double glazing with lots of energy dog latin - it could be a very messy and unsavoury incident.

― ___ (___), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do people never play The Hugging Game?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I am going to play the Hugging Game at the next FAP.

(OK, I will cheat. "I might have cancer, pleaes hug me" would be a sure-fire crowd pleaser. Or if people won't hug me, I'll threaten to touch them with my lump.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I've tried that before, Kate, I got slapped. Admittedly my lump was in my trousers.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

the hugging game is called taking mdma

― david acid (gareth), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I am good at that game.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:47 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my god. i'm still drunk from last night. there were preppies there and they weren't doing it in ironic way.

some guy 'in mergers and acquisitions' spent ages trying to convince me that this was really similar to working for a charity. i pointed and laughed at him.

it was like stepford wives nightclub. all the kinds of people that marcello slams in ONE ROOM. and big, tall, not blonde me DID NOT FIT IN and it was seriously bad.

but i still had fun. we danced our asses off. i think my friend kissed some guy at the end of the night. i remember chatting up her former boss's nephew on his mobile. oh dear god.

i think all this fits this thread somehow. too tired to figure out how, though.

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 20 August 2004 09:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's kind of saved the thread to be honest Collette.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 20 August 2004 09:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Not that your story has anything to do with the diamond industry in Sierra Leone but whatever.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 20 August 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Well Kate I know exactly what I have to offer the Other, which as you well know is quite a lot. But it's difficult/impossible for me to articulate it. Because then I come to the black hole of "selling myself" which I have never managed to do successfully at any stage in my life.

So yes, I know I can offer as much as, or more than, what is offered me, but I have difficulty saying so.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

am putting the evening together as people tell me what i texted them. apparently, i tried to get some guy to give me his t-shirt. it said something like 'can't commit' and i really wanted it. but he wouldn't give it to me.

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 20 August 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

You know what, I've decided that pubs and clubs really aren't me.

So instead of reliving this dwindling nightmare I'm going to take up a hobby which will get me outdoors and perhaps be of better use in meeting people - rambling, perhaps, or birdwatching.

Or maybe just take up those Japanese night classes I've been putting off for the last 18 months.

Either option has got to be better than all this "pulling" business.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 20 August 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Once I hit fifty I am taking up bowls and smoking vanilla tobacco in a pipe.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 20 August 2004 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been thinking about learning Japanese as well. Future battles, should they occur, will be much more entertaining for it.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

stevem i still have your japanese animations book!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd forgotten about that - when come back bring glibli

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

wanna collect it at the swimmer later (you coming?) or shall we wait for a more convenient time?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to play kiss-chase when I was about 6 or 7. I was a player back then.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I've come to this a bit late, but...well, as (if I remember rightly), co-creator of the kissing game, I feel like it's been a bit misrepresented. Yes, the times I've played, I've usually won (except for one occasion where, um, I got physically attacked and went home feeling upset). But as an actual pulling technique, it's never done me any good AT ALL. The only way to get points, in my experience, has been to leap in with a little speech that goes something like:

"Hello. Um, this is going to sounds really bad, but honestly, it's not, and I promise I'm not trying to pull you or anything. It's just that me and my friend (at this point, if possible, I'll point out a non-threatening female buddy) are having this little competition, we're trying to see who can kiss the most strangers"

(pause to let them go "um...ok" and guage from that reaction whether it's worth carrying on).

"And, you know, any little kiss is enough to get me a point, just as long as it's on the mouth".

(wait for another "er...ok").

"So, if you could just really quickly give me a small kiss, you'll be doing me a HUGE favour, and then I promise I'll go away and won't bother you any more".

(pause again).

At this point, I find I'll either get an "ok then", and a small peck. Or else I'll get another "um....", at which point I'll generally say "no tongues", and convert it into an "oh, go on then". So yeah, I can get the points. But it's not like there's really any kudos in having them.

Ulitmately, I think I've decided it's kinda pointless, and not that much fun. And I've not played for aaaaaages. Even so, a little bit of me can't help but be proud of my record score...12.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't really see the appeal in kissing lots of different people quickly in succession myself. but then i am a menk who would rather stay in and do this stupid ILM Top 100 so...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you're right, there isn't any really. Minor ego boost when you're hammered. Reassurance that you're not unspeakably hideous, if and when you need it. But that's all, and yeah, I'm in no big hurry to do it again.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Jim, somehow you've made it sound even more rancid and sleazy than I'd imagined. Ick ick ick. Why don't you fucking pay them and be done with it??

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

It's easier to give them wraps of coke.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think paying them would have worked.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Paying for affection isn't quite how I'd choose to shore up my self-esteem, Mark.

Kissing lots of people is fun but this all seems like a bit too much effort. I'm lazy when it comes to nights out.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

sez the man with the most active social life on ILE (so it seems)

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but I want my thrills and spills to come to me when I'm actually out. Trawling round the dancefloor seems like hard work.

Also those who have seen Drunk And Emotional Matt DC out on the pull will agree it is a mercy that I feel this way, as it stops it happening more often ;)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Ick ick ick

Yep, that's me.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

mark's just jealous of the 12 a night statistic i think ;)

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

12? That's nothing. My friend Brent and I did this at a college party and got about 23 each. They were mostly the same people and mostly our friends.

― sleazy and rancid rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

hookers don't like to be kissed, it's "unprofessional."

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

9 is about the best I can come up with, and I was dressed as a nun at the time so maybe that had something to do with it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah from "pretty woman"! xpost

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread makes me think of Weezer.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Who says Catholicism's no fun? (double xpost)

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i want to hear more of this matt dc anecdote.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh - Lauren, the show was pretty good! I met a cute boy there. Didn't pull him, though.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

ken c I was speaking from personal experience.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

it was a lonely life on the street.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ken the first part of the story is on this thread. The kissing game came later. Probably the most insane night of my life, now I think about it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 20 August 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Jim, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to have a go at you personally. Obviously this whole concept taps some unpleasant and depressing part of my psyche.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I have never done it.

― the bellefox, Friday, 20 August 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

What about the foxy singer-songwriter you liked at ATP, Joe?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Marissa Mechant was there?!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

It's true, Markelby, to pull oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

― the bellefox, Friday, 20 August 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Was that amusing Francais slip intentional, Steve?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

pf, she was called Shannon something... you went on about her for ages, then you went to seek her out!! Don't deny it!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Wuz is Shannon Wright?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I meant "Wuz IT" naturally.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tucsonweekly.com/binary/42616-273-1/mus-2739.gif

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a nice photograph of you, Amanda.

― the bellefox, Friday, 20 August 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

That isn't me! It's the girl you fancied at ATP!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

shannon wright is the worst.

― cºzen (Cozen), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

There is so much on the thread that is hard to remember it all.

I thought it quite good when N. gave a deadpan response to Markelby. Markelby is probably right, about N.

I kind of understand JtN's point - maybe. I'm not sure. I don't get it exactly.

I have been in the rock pub DC mentions, with the Vicar & friends!

The whole pull thing does not exist, where I live. Do I mean - in my body?

Markelby is sweet to talk about Shannon Wright but I think he is confusing the fact that I said she was attractive with the false idea that I tried to pull her. I would not know how to do that - because, I suppose, it would be impossible.

― the bellefox, Friday, 20 August 2004 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

So on Saturday I got totally plastered, went to a house party and managed (somehow) to pull with the line "OMG! You are cute!". Later on I was informed by other guests that maybe she wasn't that cute after all. Nevertheless I agreed to meet her tonight and guess what? She WAS kinda cute.

Fucking friends. What's the deal with that?!

― mr anonymous poster, Tuesday, 28 September 2004 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Jealousy, pure and simple.

It only just struck me that it's Freshers week this week - why I'm not out in the Zodiac every night getting jiggy with lots of nieve teenage girls, I don't know.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 06:43 (twenty-one years ago)

God, that last post sounded so C*l*mesque, I apologise.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 06:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha JB it sounds like me 20 years ago (actually 23 years ago this month)! Then again I was a naive teenage "boy" at the time so I suppose I have an excuse.

Ah, don't get me started on David Stubbs' club nights at St Clements (average audience: me, Laura, Simon R and about six Goths who didn't understand "all this disco shit"...).

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 29 September 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

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