Choose the 5 words that will lose Bush the election!

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My dear friends, I have something extraordinary to tell you. After much subtle covert hypno-suggestion over the last six months, a great hypnotist and Democrat -- I shall not trouble you with his name -- has managed to put George W Bush into a state called 'suspended autocythonic metastasis'.

What this means is that, although he seems perfectly normal (by his standards, anyway), Bush is open to one very limited piece of behaviour modification: he can be made to speak a 5-word phrase at a crucial moment of his televised debate with John Kerry tonight. The phrase will be inserted into his brain by his make-up artist. The most extraordinary part of all this, though, is that it has been decided to let you, the denizens on ILE, choose the phrase.

The make-up artist, Elsie, will be reading this very thread right up to the moment Bush sits down in her chair. Whatever she says after the trigger phrase 'Afghanistan Bananastan' will enter Bush's brain, to be produced live on television at the height of the debate. She will choose the 5-word phrase she reads here which has the best chance of losing Bush the election. Your mission, ladies and gentlemen: find that 5-word phrase, and save the world.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"I like to fuck animals."

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Bearing in mind that what we need is to destroy Bush's appeal to his core voters, I propose the phrase 'I don't believe in God'.

By the way, I should add that Bush will not hear himself uttering the 5 word phrase, so he will not be able to correct it. If the moderator queries the phrase, Bush will also not hear the words.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

TEE PEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"I ass fucked Gear's roommate"

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Good one with the God stuff.

Also maybe, "Jesus was a black man."

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

daddy's gonna need a blowjob

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

it's like fucking a kike

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

silly manthony. kikes don't vote republican.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

it's like fucking condi rice

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Welfare babies are extra tasty.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

PUSSY! PUSSY! GEORGE W. PUSSY!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I ordered the Abu Gareb...ghrabbebab...garrabababab...grebtabedbob-grdasdawd

(Elsie: "Shit! Plan B! Plan B!")

Vote John Kerry for President!

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"chris reeve had it coming"

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm a tranny, so what?"

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Freedom lover or faggot? Decide.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I did it for daddy.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I laughed when Reagan died.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe terrorism isn't so bad.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Thou shalt not kill, bitch.

― retort pouch (retort pouch), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Dick Cheney's my power bottom.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"I would nuke Ohio tomorrow."

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"Abortion is excellent birth control."

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Gay marriage should be mandatory.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Dick Cheney powders my bottom

xpost

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

o'reilly still has my vibrator

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Who cares about Bin Laden?

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Couple more, Elsie:

Nine eleven 'My Pet Goat'.

I am a peace president.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Eat shit and die, America.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Pick any post of five words or less from this thread:
Funniest possible things to say during moment of climax.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"DO ME IN THE ASS!"

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Je suis pas un Americain.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Our casualties are God's will.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

America's future lies with Communism!

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't give a fuck.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Al Gore is my fwend.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Dick Cheney pays Bin Laden.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

OW! My receiver just feedbacked!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck god, communism's hyphy!!

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Iwash myback witha ragon astick.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahhhhhhhh, my receiver just swallowed.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

The W stands for homosexual.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

*applause*

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

My policy: attacks and spend.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Clarence Thomas is my nigga

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(my fifth word was submerged in the exclamative force of the statement)

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Again: 'No masturbation without representation.'

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Only bad soldiers get killed

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Read my lips: NEW TAXES.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, I need to pee.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Texas isn't very nice, really.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I would rule from France.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

America creates its own enemies.

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCK YOU, KERRY! FUCK YOU!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

'Afghanistan Bananastan'

You better hope Bush doesn't watch The Hot Rock before the debate!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCK ME, KERRY! FUCK ME!

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

This isn't about tasty cocks.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Sperm, sperm, sperm on Christ!

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Saddam's got a purdy mouth

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

You'd think Kerry was Jewish.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

christ loves everyone, even osama

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Bombing stops in five minutes.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Where is the coke at?

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

get rich or die tryin'

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I welcome the Nazi vote.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Saddam first, then me, Laura.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

thoia thoia thoia thoia thoing

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

America bombs weddings, bar mitzvahs...

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Show me your tits! WOOOO!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't raped since college.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

can we program it so that he pounds his fist on the podium with each of the five words?

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Abu Gharib was fucking funny (does a Lyndie)

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

What does WMD stand for?

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

What's that button there for?

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Excuse me, where am I?

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Support antidisestablish... antidishestabbly... antiundisestablishmen... rastafarianism.

(Pounding table.)

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I CAN speak when alone

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeb hid all the bodies.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

umumum Just touch my body

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Barbara Bush you pornographic beauty!

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"I don't believe in God" is perfect

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I share Bill O'Reilly's loofa.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't debate without cocaine!

― Symplistic (shmuel), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"I don't believe in God" is perfect

Yeah, most others are funnier but for torpedoing Bush I'm having a hard time topping that.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"I really love them Saudis"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Cocaine is a hellofa drug

(shit my cocaine thunder has been stolen!*()

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i am osama bin laden

― Symplistic (shmuel), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Y'know, Adolf was the man.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

The trouble is, Bush really is a Teflon president. Because everybody thinks he's thick, he can say anything and the reaction is just a kind of shrugging 'Well, that's my Bush!' During the second presidential debate he actually said:

'Saddam Hussein was a risk to our country, ma'am. And he was a risk that -- and this is where we just have a difference of opinion. The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he [Kerry] were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off.'

C-Span put quotes round 'and the world would be a lot better off', to show that they thought Bush was attributing that sentiment to his rival. But, with Bush, who knows? And, worse, who cares? You know Fox News is going to say he won the next day whatever he says. Except... if he says the following five words:

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

and we'll take florida, YAAAARGH!

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

viagra needed for Junior's Junior.

― Hari Ashurst (Toaster), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus was the first terrorist

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

My kingdom for a snort.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Hold on, can't some creative soul here edit all these phrases into existence a la Chris Morris?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Everybody drink my poison Coolade!

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Me love you long time

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Who cares about Bin Laden?
-- manthony m1cc1o (anthonyisrigh...), October 13th, 2004 2:24 PM

speakng of bush being teflon, i'm pretty sure he did say someting like this without starting a media shitstorm.

― Symplistic (shmuel), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"My friend Momus once said..."

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Fail in business? Daddy pays.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Bush means Enron means Bush.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

America: one big happy Enron.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"I do Cheney's cute!"

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

err, "I do think Cheney's cute!"

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

A Bush loser still wins.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, Elsie, I know you're reading this, grinding your blusher buffers or whatever make-up artists do, please scratch all my suggestions except 'I don't believe in God'.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"Niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers"

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Might still play well with his core constituents, though.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

And might even swing some of the black vote across from the Dems.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit meet Fan

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

There's an old saying in Tennessee. I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says: "Fool me once ... shame on... shame on you... if fooled, you can't get fooled again."

Is like 31 words, but goddamn is it wunnerful.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Voteformeonce, shameonme, votefermetwice, shameonyou assholes.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"Niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers"

Fox News the next day: 'Bush again voices his strong opposition to the dark days of slavery.'

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Bush comes out in support of Vice Magazine"

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"Bush comes out"

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

President Bush was visiting a primary school. One of the classes was
in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The
teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on
the word "tragedy."

So the illustrious leader (sat silent for 7 minutes and then) asked
the class for an example of a "tragedy".
Little Jimmy stood up and offered, "If my best friend, who lives on a
farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills
him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

Little Suzie raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not." explained the president. "That's what we would call
a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered.

Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an
example of tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand. In a
quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush was
struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why
that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "it has to be a tragedy, because it
certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an
accident either."

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't believe in God

Fox News the next day: Bush gives winning glimpse of the mysterious nature of faith.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"Arby's sandwiches taste like ass"

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I found my feminine side.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

'Rupert Murdoch: Suck My Balls!'

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

me talk pretty one day.

― aimurchie, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"Osama is on my payroll."
"Richard Petty was a fag."
"Hey Israel: it's go time."

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"ORNALDO BLOOMPS FOR TEH PRESIDETN!"

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey Israel: it's go time."

Fox News the next day: Bush to Israel: 'Let's roll!'

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Osama is on my payroll.

Fox News the next day: 'Let's roll, make Osama pay!' -- Bush

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Where the hell am I?

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.youforgotpoland.com/prez.jpg

maybe "you have forgotten teh poland" to make it 5 words.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Dick Cheney's my power bottom.

No, no: "I'm Dick Cheney's cum slut!" (Or "I am Halliburton's cum slut!")

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate all of you

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Bow down! Kneel before Zod!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"oh hell, (insert five words here)"

There are tens of thousands of people for whom one swear word of that temperature would be enough to change their vote.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"Show Janet Jackson's boobie again!"

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"I have a head of frommage"

― mike hanle y, Thursday, 14 October 2004 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm discretly fingering my anus."

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 14 October 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, David Icke"

― Gribowitz (Lynskey), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"I have fucked us all." Slowly and distinctly straight into the camera.

― W i l l (common_person), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"The twins give good head."

― W i l l (common_person), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Choose the 5 words that will lose Bush the election! (137 new answers, last at 10:20 pm, 5 unread)

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

OOPs i did it again.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 14 October 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Your children died in Iraq"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 14 October 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"forget about that flu shot"

― Cynthia Nixon Now More Than Ever (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 14 October 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"I pissed myself, just now."

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 14 October 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

my wife speaks better english than me

― Helios Creed (orion), Thursday, 14 October 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"liberal liberal liberal ... from massachusetts!"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 14 October 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"get an education dumb-ass"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 14 October 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"ann coulter loves my pickle"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 14 October 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"That's good Jew baby heart"

― alfalfa romeo (natepatrin), Thursday, 14 October 2004 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"Osama ain't shit to me."

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 14 October 2004 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"EX AJ ERRR AI SHUN"

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 14 October 2004 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT

― Symplistic (shmuel), Thursday, 14 October 2004 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"hey america, suck DEEZ nuts!"

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Thursday, 14 October 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm Bush, please insert girder"
"Bow down and hail Satan!"
"Dammit Cheney!, plug me in!"
"Eat my shit, you suckas!"

― Cacaman Flores, Thursday, 14 October 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm good at Bullshit.

TROUSERS!

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 14 October 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Shouts Out to the ODB"

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Thursday, 14 October 2004 06:33 (twenty-one years ago)

BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY.

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Thursday, 14 October 2004 06:44 (twenty-one years ago)

so what happened, momus? did it work?

― Symplistic (shmuel), Thursday, 14 October 2004 06:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm gonna fire Karl Rove."

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 14 October 2004 07:06 (twenty-one years ago)

(He'd actually shoot up in popularity, but lose the election anyway.)

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 14 October 2004 07:06 (twenty-one years ago)

baby i got your money

why can't i be you?

throw jews in the well

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 14 October 2004 07:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Because Saddam fucked my sister

― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 14 October 2004 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Dead troops? Like, who cares?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 14 October 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'll take your guns away"

"time you paid taxes, Murdoch"

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 14 October 2004 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"We're running out of oil"

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 14 October 2004 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, David Icke"
-- Gribowitz (pau...), October 14th, 2004.

hahahahahahaha

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 14 October 2004 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

'I don't believe in God'

Fox News the next day: Bush gives winning glimpse of the mysterious nature of faith.

LOL!

“A women’s right to choose”

“A new tax on gasoline”

“Israel is a lost cause”

“America seeks peace with Al’Qaeda’

― stevo (stevo), Thursday, 14 October 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

So what happened, Momus? Did it work?

Dear Friends, I have grave news. We have been betrayed. Someone in our midst is a double agent, a Republican in Democrat's clothing. Personally I suspect Blount or TOMBOT. But whoever it was, they were quick about their nefarious work, as quick as a snake through grass. Shortly after this thread was posted, the whole operation was reported to Karl Rove. Elsie was bundled into a service car and is now being questioned at an undisclosed location just beyond the US border. Rove activated the trigger phrase and inserted into Bush's putty-like and hypno-receptive brain the harmless 5-word phrase 'Unleash the armies of compassion!' Although there were some stifled sniggers when Bush uttered the phrase at the height of the debate, it has not harmed him. Fox News came up with their own five-word phrase: Bush blooms late in face-off, commenting that Bush 'came with his A-game and showed he is a strong finisher.' The article goes on to say that Bush wiped up.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

good grief, that fox "news" page!! Was there ever a more revealing comment than this:

Bush Blooms Late
Snap polls say John Kerry won third debate, but pundits say President Bush finished strong.

So much for the "liberal" media, eh, what??

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm George W. Bush, bitch.

(alternately)

Cheney's ass? I'd hit it.

― bwana, Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fuck gay niggers for Jesus!"

"Saddam likes rimjobs. I KNOW!"

"Cowboys secretly fancy each other"

― MrTom, Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"Please vote for John Kerry"

― Fran, Thursday, 14 October 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Momus is the rabbit, I am the kids, and the hearts and minds of America are my Trix

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 14 October 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I will raise taxes. Loads.

― Rowan H, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

america is partly to blame

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

haha that wins

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I sniff jenna's bloody diapers

― Roshan Abraham, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Cyborg hunter-killers? Bring 'em on

― Roshan Abraham, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Lindsay Evans? Outsourced to Bangalore.

― Roshan Abraham, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Brand New themepark: Abu Ghirabarama

― Roshan Abraham, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Tinfoil hats prevent rolling blackouts.

― briania (briania), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Speak up, Karl. Signal's fading."

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"Need any wood, Senator Kerry?"

― kristen, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I like touching little girls!!
or
Cheney's thunder cock rocks me!!

― selmisha, Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

September Eleventh wasn't that bad.

― Sarita, Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(late, alas, but it came to me-)

"let me see that thong."

― Megan Heller, Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

God told me to die.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Derrida was my best friend.

― kristen, Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Americans, you smell like shit

Do some fucking exercise, fatsos

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Terorists have feelings, you know?

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I fucked Cheney's gay daughter.

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.imomus.com/fivewords.jpeg

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Kristen's post was good, in a way.

― the bluefox, Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i wanna hear otto spooky!

― tchock, Thursday, 14 October 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

arnold schwarzenegger is an idiot!

― fibdemetics, Thursday, 14 October 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I wore a wire, fools.

― Wooden (Wooden), Thursday, 14 October 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"...nuclear, oops, excuse me, nucular..."

― fibdemetics, Thursday, 14 October 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Worship me as your god."

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Mola Ram, you betrayed Sheba!

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

go fuck yourself, san diego.....

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"where the titties at, osama?"

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't need no stinkin' eleck-shunssssss.

― Sporty Orty, Friday, 15 October 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCKY FUCKY CUNT CUNT COCK

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

my mama is a man...

― Impatella Aindrix, Friday, 15 October 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

No shit, I didn't serve!

― VB, Friday, 15 October 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Canada's next on the list.

― VB, Friday, 15 October 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

bring it on + mission accomplished

― Symplistic (shmuel), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

for the "what actual five words will lose bush the election?" thread.

― Symplistic (shmuel), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"we know he has 'em"

i've done it in four, does that get me a prize?

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"i wanna takeya to-a gay-bar!

― chrisco (chrisco), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

― chrisco (chrisco), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"let 'em eat community college!"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i.e., yer pushing 50 and you HAD a good rewarding job, but that job's now in mumbai and it's time to return to "high school w/ ashtrays"!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"my daughters sure are fuckable!"

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Friday, 15 October 2004 05:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"i am drawing magical unicorns" - i'm very curious to see what he writes down while kerry is talking.

― mobo, Friday, 15 October 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thatsuncalledfor.com/debate_notes/

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 15 October 2004 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

HI DERE WAHT'S IT MADE

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"i'll eat earth for breakfast"

― roger l, Friday, 15 October 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"tell me you love me"

― roger l, Friday, 15 October 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Kerry should be farted on"

― roger l, Friday, 15 October 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Bush should be farted on.

― roger1sucks, Friday, 15 October 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Because Bush is an asshole

― roger1reallysucks, Friday, 15 October 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

And roger1 is a whore.

― roger1reallyreallysucks, Friday, 15 October 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm not running for president."

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 15 October 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"Jelly tastes best between buttcheeks"

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"tell me you love me"

"I'm asking for you vote" from the last debate was close enough.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

curios george was my dad

― daniel cambil, Saturday, 16 October 2004 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"Come on. Gimme another shot."

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 16 October 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

BRING IT ON, MOTHER FUCKERS.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 16 October 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

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