Total Deathkvult Armageddon: The Black Metal FAP

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We meet soon, yes? We drink large quantities of Pilsener in as yet unstated location, then perhaps to burn down a church? I am thinking, Fengersfors? There is nice old church there, considerably tinderworthy.

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Hihi! I am beginning to be prepared immediately. Fengersfors has some bad rememeberences for me though my friend. I am proposed to Uvdal.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm. How rigorous is the ID verification at the Fengersfors or Uvdal airport rent-a-cars? This is another factor for me, I'm afraid.

― (Jon L), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

hails janne, sami! sounds like much lovely evil and horribleness to be had! unfortunately as i speak i am being cornered by pack of polar bears! they come upon my shack, lured by smell of caribou hyde left to dry.

my wolfen astral energies used to control the vessel who types my posts are invested in this struggle now, maybe if i get out alive we shall have polar bear meat to roast in the churchfire!

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

You come by boat to Forslag Milton and we go across the lands by cover of night. It is not problem.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Hail Vas. It is sounding as you have drunk some of the bears piss already.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

well thats a given, the powers of carnivores are gained through drinking thier urine, but they came here first to steal my food, i shall meke them food myself!

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

let me see what my expense account can cover and I'll check back in with you guys... I understand why bringing a car might initially seem a bit inappropriate to the occasion, but I suspect it'll definitely come in handier than a horse. talking soon...

― (Jon L), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Milton my friend you need car we fucking steal car. Is not problem.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought you guys were straight edge! Doesn't the Pilsner weaken your body and make you prone to bursts of "YOU GUYS ARE THE [hic] GREATESSSSST!" and other unseemly things?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:46 (twenty-one years ago)

so these are the black metal guys?

― bulbs (bulbs), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

]:-(

― bulbs (bulbs), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

you were maybe expecting momus?

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

clearly you know nothing of darkness

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Piss off, none of you are remotely kvultic.

We decide now, no more talk. We steal car for Milton, we drink in Fengersfors, see Morrigan who tour Uppsala, they are evil true black metal, then burn church, beat up maybe some foreigner, what of it? Life is shit my friend. Hey, I shoot and kill rabbit for you, cook on open fire, yum yum!

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

it is written

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I will come, with Momus.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Janne I have told of my dislike for Fengersfors so be pleased to accept that. We go Uvdal. Church is smaller yes but there is good woodlands near.

Alos I whisper this as I am sure we are agreed: none of the womenfolk invited.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Excepting of course Ally.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I am neither womenfolk or menfolk.

oh xpost

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally I am remembering now the delicious food restaurant you have taken us to. Please remind me of the name of that food?

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

That American hellbitch upstages me in my hometown over my dead body! Read my mouth closely Sami: no Ally! No women! And if we cannot agree on location, let it be a third place.

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Smells like Ned.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I know of a nice place in Nordfjordeid

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha! Nordfjordeid and indeed whole area from Mogrenda to Gloppen reek of sardines. No wonder you like it Sami, it remind you of your girlfriend, hihi!

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

What place did I bring you to, do you remember the type of delicious food it was? I imagine it must've been possibly Mexican food.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Janne I warn you only but the once. I take your taunts a last time and then we shall see who is still standing up. I have seen it happen many times before.

Ally I am sorry for you to be a witness to such woman hate. Janne has a little problem shall we say. Very little. Sara has told of it.

The food was not Mexican I am sure. There were I think small mail envelopes of serrated meat?

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh! Les Halles!

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

well i have slaughtered these polar bears, they were such pussies! they put up bearly any fight (did you see pun i made, "bear-ly" hihi!)

well who is up for polar bear kabobs?

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

OK OK enough. We choose no man land instead. I propose for you Karuna, in Lapland Sweden. Lonely Planet say it is ugliest place in Sweden. ]:-[

Here is church we ignite:

http://www.eurotravelling.net/sweden/kirunapics/church.jpg

and here is ice chapel, but sadly cross is wrong way around, so we desecrate:

http://www.eurotravelling.net/sweden/kirunapics/chapel.jpg

and here is street – many skaters in Karuna, all knifeworthy for they listen to nu metal – so we knife skateboarders without remorse:

http://www.eurotravelling.net/sweden/kirunapics/street1.jpg

what say you?

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Janne I am interrupt you here to say rumours are flying and we may have to seek the cover of the night. Much furor has been aroused and some fool is likening us to some New Zealanders.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

will you listen to cradle of filth while doing these wicked wicked things?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 07:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Who fancies a chilled akvavit from a hollowed skull (FACAFAHS)? Couple of those'll get ya nice and burny.

― briania (briania), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 07:13 (twenty-one years ago)

will you listen to cradle of filth while doing these wicked wicked things?
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), November 17th, 2004.

you are thinking you are funny? that is pansy music.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 07:49 (twenty-one years ago)

they have keyboards and such.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes:
Condoleeza Rice was once a nationally ranked figure skater. I think she should do a double lutz and a triple sow cow before she gets to be promoted. What do you think? Love, Alison

― aimurchie, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we have an Ask The Black Metal Dudes thread?

(Also, it's "salchow".)

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a Sadus album and an Obituary one, on tape. Once I was listening to Morbid Angel and hail stones started raining down.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Wooo

― F. Healy, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

is there word for such dark tongue, a la "engrish?"

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Once we were listening to Emperor and I jokingly said something like "I summon the evil one." No sooner were the words out than my crazy, evil, batshit landlady rang the doorbell.

― briania (briania), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha, this lady sound like one total ballbuster to answer such a prayer!

Considering FAP: were we to group together around Christmas, there is in Sweden of course the Julmarknad. We could go to Fittja, and eat jule kaga. Indeed also I have a hankering for kåldolmar.

But if we cannot find place to FAP in Sweden, Finland or Norway without agreement, there is also Germany. However I am not so keep to travel there if avoidable, for some of the members of Absurd I have heard wish to talk to me about something. Apparently they want me to 'sing', and I do not think they will be teaching me the melody to Die Blaue Blume.

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Germany would seem a sympathetic place; but isn't. Sweden, Finland, Norway, these are places I've never been!

I checked in with Gwem in Marketing (Sami, you remember Gwem!), I'm cleared for the trip. There was an awkward moment when Gwem hinted that he wanted to tag along, blathering about how he doesn't practice as often as he used to but still self-identifies as Pagan... lovely guy, but always missing the point 2 out of 5 times...

Weird!

― (Jon L), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

No problem, he come, we ritually murder him. Where is problem? If he deserve to die and is an idiot, so! We carry it out. Brring him, tell him he is going to meet his ancestors, hihi!

I am hoping milton for you to bring maybe t-shirt and so on and I will write copy for your shit electronic band, yes? I will tell the truth, my friend, a warning to you.

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

We finally received a cassette copy of the gig we were hoping to release... sadly the recorded evidence suggests we weren't quite as deeply cosmic as we'd assumed that night. We'll turn up something usable soon, you remain the only person capable of writing those liners...

We'll see if Gwem is up for being slaughtered. He is in marketing.

― (Jon L), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

[[I checked in with Gwem in Marketing (Sami, you remember Gwem!), I'm cleared for the trip. There was an awkward moment when Gwem hinted that he wanted to tag along, blathering about how he doesn't practice as often as he used to but still self-identifies as Pagan... lovely guy, but always missing the point 2 out of 5 times...]]

Milton this is funniest thing. On the behalf of Ubersveienchracht I have given Gwem knife used in Ryfos incident still with the blood dried on handle. We were believing this is excellent marketing tool (hihi!) and maybe promote band by running competition and winner gets knife.
Gwem send me very unlikely email!

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Germany is not good for me either and anyway that is not the image I wish association with. I am ok with Finland but would suggest no mention to the Vaasa "posse".

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

May I recommend Novaya Zembla?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Novaja Zemla is good place indeed. It is hard place to start fight I have found.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

doh! Dimmu Borgir!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

ah yes, the Enya of Black Metal. please do not mention them here, the anus.com review should dismiss any concerns you might have.

Gwem enjoys your knife, Sami, and has added it to the display in his office... it rarely leaves his left hand whenever he is working safely in his office. Is it Mayan?

― (Jon L), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I do not believe so but of course it was not purchased by me and I have come upon it in private only.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Just wondering

― (Jon L), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I laugh at you all and if you should set foot on Finnish soil then the shit will roll. Vas I am looking forwward to meeting with you so I can spit in your hair and break your legs. Milton you are welcome to stay in Kuusamo with my uncle who will quickly beat out of you any cosmic shit and teach you what is happening on long dark nights. Janne: come here little one. I shit in your mouth and make joke of your screaming. Sami: no one will miss you.

― Horst, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not really so keen on Finland.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

sadly mina svensk relativer come to me this ~~christmas~~ solstice so i have to miss fap };(

you say no kvinnafolker, men i wait till ye all are shit-faced and slice your necks and use your femur for personal toy.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I had some concern so to speak for all this talk of Dimmhead Borgir but now I am assured there will be considerable bloodshed and this is of course encouraging. Indeed I look forward to meeting you all for a night of unholy black metal!! Hails! ]:--(

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 17 November 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I have asked Polvär and Fengratten from Ase to attend if this is acceptable. They are not posting on this shit board and are of course no great conversationalists but they are very strong and Polvär has motorbike.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Thursday, 18 November 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes:

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 00:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes:
What is your opinion about gay republicans?
Also, do you want to come over for Thansgiving?
Love, Alison

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Alison you post photo ok and I consider your offer. These others are of no use to you. They will be of even less use when I have shown them the deep hollow inside there selves.

― Horst, Thursday, 18 November 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Mr. Horst/pigfuck:
I don't know how to post photos.
Love, Alison

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

*understands the bloody obvious: this here 's a thread for teh dudes, by teh dudes, for whom metal fatigue is not even an option*

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 18 November 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes:
in the television series "LOST" 40 people are stranded on an island after a plane wreck. The series has been on for several weeks, and noone has found the mini liquor bottles.
if you were in a plane crash, and survived, only to be stranded on a desert island, what is the first thing you would try to find among the wreckage? love, Alison

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

thats right! no wait, mini bottles? on a plane? like the ones in bar fridges?

― bulbs (bulbs), Thursday, 18 November 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

For this epic style I commend this televison program cast as innovators where they could find space, but not groundbreakers who invent territory from the ashes of uncomprehended others.

― Gjort, Thursday, 18 November 2004 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

May I recommend Novaya Zembla?

was this post made w/ the knowledge that novaya zembla is where the former soviet government used to dump all of their nuclear waste and dud bombs?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

-- aimurchie

Obviously one would try to find the knife with which one hijacked the plane. Then of course one would seek out a goat to slaughter.

― Janne Karlsson, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

dear black metal dudes:

in a fight between count grisnacht v. suge knight, who would win?

Eisbär

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Obviously one would try to find the knife with which one hijacked the plane. Then of course one would seek out a goat to slaughter

There is no plane I would find need of when it is that demon wings fold neatly beneath my kaftan. But to play your impossible games I would of course look for peanut bags.

― Vakthund, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Vakthund I hear your mummy calling

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I cannot believe you people are bending low to answer questions about the stupid american television.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I would know already where is the bottles

― Polvär, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Fly Sami then I warn you before she slakes her hunger and her thirst with your pink girl flesh and loin juice.

― Vakthund, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

You were not invited here Vakthund and your funnyness is not understood. I am suggesting you fly back to Horst's skirts and hide again. We would not come to Finland if you were throwing a barbeque and burning a church.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Horst whoever he might be rides with no one I do. And I would warn you Sami there is a threshold for your girlish flirttaunts you would be wise to respect.

― Vakthund, Thursday, 18 November 2004 03:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes:
I have to go to sleep. Which one of you should I dream about tonight?
Love, Alison

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

aimurchie, if you think of me in your sleep, I shall deathwalk into your chamber and I swear you will not wake in the morning.

Get back to your Dragons and Dungeons game Vakthund for I perceive you are not necrogrim at all, but are poseur, late of come to the scene and full of christian values. Have you ever skinned a dog and eaten of it? I doubt that much. Probably all you have skinned is your little toe! Where were you in 1993? Probably you were listening to Nirvana and other american wanta bees.

Or, if you indeed meet this challenge, then we shall see you at our FAP, bring on it! Then, my friend, we shall see who is the one to take a backward footstep.

― Janne Karlsson, Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Sami I do not know this Vakthund fucker who is claiming to be from Finland and part of the my clan. You have my permission to take him out in the wilderness for a night and show him your ropes.

Hihi! Show him your ropes! Hihi!

― Horst, Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

dear black metal dudes:
in a fight between count grisnacht v. suge knight, who would win?

Eisbär

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), November 18th, 2004.

i would be waiting in the shadows, and would kill the both of them with my cunning sorcery and wolfen tactics. for i am everywhere and nowhere all at once, much like the cold night wind itself.

i take their hides and heads as trophies. and their blood and flesh i feast upon for dinner.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

There is much in the way of pain here.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess i'm gonna have to dream about Ned And Dan Perry and a vanful of Ilxors again. Sigh!

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:19 (twenty-one years ago)

pain is of course the way of a warrior, i know nothing but pain and suffering and to spead it more, the only satisfaction is from giving it out and smiting the christianized forces. i serve the nightspirit, the black collective soul of my ancestors.

being necro satanic wolfen warrior is not for weak, my friend.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:21 (twenty-one years ago)

This Ned character is right, our tempers are exploding unnecessarily as we get heated beneath our collars. Let us all take deep breath and chill out somewhat. After all, we are all brothers to touch in the dark.

aimurchie, you may dream of me, I was just making crack before, hihi! I am not so serious at all times, I am capable of making occasional crack. Evil is partly humour it is true, and Satan himself likes to have a laugh, so I understand. If you do dream of me, best to keep it sectret, as if Drusilla find out she have jealous temper and may put you under nasty curse.

― Janne Karlsson, Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

it is of course true that satan has sense of humour. but it is of cold black sort. the kind where you laugh at cancellation of popular television programme or girl falling down well.

of course the forces of arkness will be having the last laugh i am assuring you.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:32 (twenty-one years ago)

'Forces of arcness' in this post of yours appears to be printo, Vas. No doubt you meant to say 'forces of orcness', after Tolkien, our bible (though many a black metal band name has e ripped off in this shit book). No matter - we applaud your sentiments with grim expression on face and yet also with twisted grin to the grimness!!!

― Janne Karlsson, Thursday, 18 November 2004 05:45 (twenty-one years ago)

So! I'm guessing at least one of you has castrated himself in the name the Dark One. I just haven't decided which one.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 18 November 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Sami, perhaps you are thinking of some crack in response to this last comment. I urge you to show restraint my friend, for one more mention of this unfortunate subject and you shall take your chances with current 93, which courses through my veins as I am chosen by this current to wreak chaos on the world!

May I also remind you that Drusilla has shown herself more than willing to engage in what shall we call the reverse Christian act in bed? And she say, only it is bearable because of relative size of my manhood. So consider this: bigger you may be, but it is your loss my friend.

― Janne Karlsson, Thursday, 18 November 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I partake of wolf flesh, boaster of dog eating. And that cult whose name you let slip from your painted girl lips is one if you hated it so would not so easily have been spoken of by you. Mention of it makes me want to kill. Who survives the slaughter-field this FAP will not be you, Sami.

― Vakthund, Thursday, 18 November 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Mr. Horst/pigfuck:
I don't know how to post photos.
Love, Alison

Please, Alison, let me post your Friendster picture for you (but why do you refuse to follow my simple instructions on how to post them?)

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Thursday, 18 November 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I tried, maria, I tried! Please go ahead and post the picture. Thanks, love, Alison

― aimurchie, Thursday, 18 November 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess my instructions weren't all that simple.

I give you:
ALISON

http://photos.friendster.com/photos/74/03/5563047/7532204418696m.jpg

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Thursday, 18 November 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I see you are Moorish Alison. This is good of course as I am relating strongly to the hordes of Kublai Khan.

― Holst, Thursday, 18 November 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Milton - I have not yet been able to access car however I have found you passport. Picture inside is of Vorg Rottnart who is Swedish longhair so I also have found you a hairpiece.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

good, options! I suspect I can synchronize an artificial credit card ID to this passport name. Mind you, I can also find 'legitimate' reasons to be in the country -- this entire company is blitheringly corrupt, and quite well connected.

have we picked a specific weekend yet?

― (Jon L), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

No date yet I am not thinking. It is toss over your legitimacy my friend and therefore the oddities must be weighed. However should we follow plan I have discussed with you at the barbeque of Jim Haynes ;-) then i think to travel as fake peron is best.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Fake Peron? Eva perhaps?

― bulbs (bulbs), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Madonna is of course fake Peron. But have you heard news? Maniac has been overthrown as singer of Mayhem by that Hungarian Atilla.

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I am keen to avoid talk of old friends Janne. As you are knowing I have bad blood.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 04:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Indeed. 'Death to Jheryllkanyga' in the run-out groove and so forth. That was a fine album. Thick vinyl, as I recall. Some say that blood is thicker than water do they not? Yeti dobt even so that it is thicker than this vinyl. I have no opinion myself, it is for others and the media to speculate.

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"Yeti dobt" is my favourite of the earlier singles.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 04:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I was attempting so to write that blood is thicker than vinyl, and so make an intellectual point. Why my fingers so confuse I am not certain. Perhaps they hit wrong keys for they instinctively wish to wring your neck, Jheryllkanyga, for your comments regarding my size and so forth.

But on to more pleasant matters. Have we a place to FAP agreed upon?

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

There is a small place between Bisimo and Lagamo that is very meaningful to me. Should you have a map I suggest you look it up my friend.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 04:48 (twenty-one years ago)

We go there again? Hihi! I think we tempt fate for to do so, my friend, for not all police are off the case now that black metal is off the tabloid news and Kerrang. And yet... I have deep yearning to shall we say uncover my past deeds and reminisce. So yeah, why the fuck not??

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 04:51 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha 'barbeque' you call it Sami! at the bar in the Lone Palm, where I am no longer welcome, btw. I remember at first thinking you were mispronouncing the word 'fool' before the flames began to rise seemingly out of nowhere, you clever fellow. but you surely learned Haynes a thing or two, for a few seconds I almost felt sorry for that experimental music critic.

― (Jon L), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 05:07 (twenty-one years ago)

ANYways, just chiming in to say you guys pick the place, it's all new to me, and don't steal the car before I get there

― (Jon L), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

First we steal your soul, then car, then life of bystander. Good times my friend.

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

You guys are going to post pix, right?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Indeed, my friend! We look forward to the day.

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Here in meantime is picture of Vas. Perhaps you have seen? If not, it is not because Vas has not posted such. Indeed, he post over and over again this picture. Proud indeed must he be of his photoshopping technique. And with good reason, I think you must agree:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/VasDjifrens.jpg

HAILS!! ]-:-{

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, it's a fine picture, but come on, what about the rest of you guys?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

This is open challenge. You think we cannot come up with goods! Wait a few weeks, my American degenerate friend, and then we will see who is expressing suprise openly on his face. we have camera, corpsepaint, dead raven in bucket, wooden symbols and such - everything we need to sigilise the moon into your heart. Watch your backside, my friend.

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 07:44 (twenty-one years ago)

So: we return to Lom? The place of my blasphemous heritage where still some there enemies from schooldays lurk like frogs in the occupations of banker and small businesses manager. I cannot wait my friends for this!

Milton this Haynes event is in constantly rotation in my memory. I see him now as he is running and is drunken and is stumbling and I see you my friend and Falsh holding high the sparkler fireworks.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 08:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i just have to interrupt to say that i think those little frowning smilies (frownies?) are so cute and i'm not sure if they really belong in the black metal thread?

― gem (trisk), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Do not worry your pretty boy heads on the matter of Vas. The fool is a fantasist of delusional properties. If I hint he has been in contact with Gaarl and the Grintrakt people you will no longer think to worry about his whereabouts. He survives this I do not think.

― Horst, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 09:04 (twenty-one years ago)

i just have to interrupt to say that i think those little frowning smilies (frownies?) are so cute and i'm not sure if they really belong in the black metal thread?
-- gem

I am so to say taken aback. The as you call 'frownies' (we elect to call them destructicons in black metal culture, there are many more, we must show you) do not fill you with apocalypse fear? This is something not anticipated. No matter, who cares? It is not relevant.

Hihi, gem I must tell you funny thing. My friend Panne (you of course know his band, Fröstbitten) is fond to say, each time a fanboy draws one destructicon in a forum post, an angel self-kills. Reason enough to continue!

― Janne Karlsson, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i may have to start killing some angels in some of my work emails. spread the black if you know what i mean.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 01:19 (twenty-one years ago)

So you become friends now with Panne Janne? I hear how you have drunken the Fröstbitten rider at Trovholm gig and then taken back to Elkshöhn with group of large friends. Tell me, did you awaken to cold day with frosting on your lips?

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

hihihihihihihi! stop please, you are making me chuckle much too hard! nightspirit knows i am where know one knows nor is expecting! like wind i am everywhere yet nowhere my friend.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Hihi, 'Jannepanne' they call us when we present together, hihi! For you know also we look alike with our strong features. Concerning rider for Fröstbitten and alleged theft of it, this needs to be straightened out once and for all time. Panne and his band are Viking straightened edge, no beer for them. They share rider with friends and only partake of the gravlax and lutfisk, plus perhaps pickles and rollmops. Maybe also some fiskefars, but that is ALL. No drinking. Valtis and I drink all their beer, they have no problem with such. Anyone who tells you so, is traitor and liar and tell them we shall come after them and maybe then they will have no tongue to tell further tale, I cannot say.

Of the Fröstbitten gig at Trovhom, my friend, sad it is you were not there. Some American fools attempt to mosh, causing much grim intent among the true. Finally one attempt to stage dive and we have had enough. We dispatch him with boots and fists, and then we show him new kind of dive - into Göta canal with shoelaces tied, hihi! No doubt he wash up somewhere, who can say? I may know of it, I may not.

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway it is settled. we meet for FA in Lom in 2 weeks. No more discussion, time is now for action.

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Hihi! You big fat fool Janne. Panne is laughing at you on the Ratatosk message board. And I am not blaming him. I say again - you come to Finland, you drink all you like, and then you may have a small mishap.

Janne and Sami, how many Norwegians does it take to grease a combine?

Only two, if you run them through real slow.

― Horst, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

we're there, dude!

http://www.fdj.org/akbauer/interviews/thoth/backyard.JPG

― deathkvultist, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Janne you are bullshit. Milton - bullshit. Holst, Vathkund - bullshgit with capital B. Vas - BULLLSHIT. All are bullshitting bullshit fuckers. Horst - does the word meaning poo from the anus of a male cow mean much to you? I am thinking so.

I care not. I have been spending 5 nights on tundra at Flarts Beer'n'Bargshwurt and then on into the dark DARK night. Alone.

It was perhaps too hardy for you decadent rockstar arses? It was some kind of joking?

I come for you now and be believing I have watched Kill Bill at Flarts.

― Sami Jeryllkanyga, Sunday, 16 January 2005 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Sami, your keeping of your word shows you ahve much christianizing trust in your heart. a truly evil kvltic bastatrd such as myself (and maybe Janne he talks the talk but does his evil walk the walk we shall see) does not "keep promises" or arrive on time. i only follow the wills of my my bloodlusting death-libido and the wicked ways of Nightspirit.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Like many you are posers. I was there from beginning, but now I have suddenly no faith in this music. Your Satanism is not 'grim!' I have no pun intended with this post, but pondering has driven me to writing all this.

Corpsepaint, the devil, blood, forests, snow, wind, swords, ancient themes, "anti-christians", crosses, suicide acts under the 'black metal' banner, flirting with nordic themes, even nazism... I feel that "black metal" has in-no-time out-done itself. Or to say this better, its fans and creators. Or it was just non-sense from the beginning? It seems like it is overwhelmed by very unimportant and senseless themes. Themes that have pressed "black metal" deep into its own shit.

And that brings me to the questioning this genre as a whole.

I see a lot of people that are trying to justify this genre, but there's really no bridge to sense. Then isn't it a very senseless and fatal duty in itself? Basing your morals and actions on something that could not bare the heavy load of "intoxication" through its own 'faculty'?

Bands that are of no importance are dominating topics. Bands that are of no importance have dominated the ever-"growing" genre. It is flowing down another lane, by every new-comer. Even when he tries to grasp the true intentional morals of the genre.

It was set, but ultimately, it is pathetic.

By every visit to this forum I go further into disgust. It is also the same with every new band or BM song I discover.

The genre has been hit by new waves of fans/bands that seem to rape the genre over and over again. Fucked to death by all its own impotent ideals.

After all this said, I have no repent. Take me for what you want, and make of this what you want.

― Ødegård 4527, Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

old school black metal is tired, that is true. but have you not heard the wolfen cries of BYZANTUM? CANADIAN WEREWOLF TRUE PITCH BLACK METAL? you are merely christian weakling to begin with i am guessing.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"Corpsepaint, the devil, blood, forests, snow, wind, swords, ancient themes, "anti-christians", crosses, suicide acts under the 'black metal' banner, flirting with nordic themes, even nazism... I feel that "black metal" has in-no-time out-done itself. Or to say this better, its fans and creators. Or it was just non-sense from the beginning? It seems like it is overwhelmed by very unimportant and senseless themes. Themes that have pressed "black metal" deep into its own shit."

these are nonsense? they being the only things that matter, my new enemy? there can never be enough cold winds and freezing moons. the prophecy of the ancestors bloodlust not being fullfilled yet.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

BM = "Bowel movement".

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 16 January 2005 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes,

― aimurchie, Sunday, 16 January 2005 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes,
I like wine, brandy, whiskey and sometimes gin. As I age, I seem to have worse hangovers.
You seem quite fit and able. What do you like to drink, besides blood, and how do you ward off hangovers?
xo Alison

― aimurchie, Sunday, 16 January 2005 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Black Metal Dudes:
It seems like you all are suffering through some inner turmoil. The answer, of course, is to violently kill each other....but that would make this world a very sad place. I know sadness does not bother you - but - those of us who care, your fans, are concerned.
Isn't it best to get together and poke out appropriate eyes, slam foreheads together, and kick other shins within a controlled Metal environment?
I am only saying this because my love is now a concern - I called Dr.Phil and he is very willing to work with you.

― aimurchie, Sunday, 16 January 2005 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

If you are proposing communal mosh, let yourself be known that I despise mosh as do all who ware true black metal. This is American foolishness. It is correct to watch BM silently, in grim appreciation. No applause, if you please, this is not entertainment for the masses.

― Ødegård 4527, Sunday, 16 January 2005 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

-- aimurchie

aimurchie, I think I hear your mummy calling you. Perhaps she your nappy to change wishes.

Milton, are you present? Sami does not believe I have assisted you with sleeve notes. Tell him please.

― Janne Karlsson, Sunday, 16 January 2005 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

O janne-one i am believing this claim for i have seen the BULLSHIT you have prepared for Milton (most of which i see is almost direct rip off from ideas of mine). ha ha indeed fatherfucker.

I come for you in night to say "Hello, remember me? Sami - the friend who you would refuse a drink with" and then I fucking do you with the lights off.

I am not any longer getting pissed - I am getting evens.

― Sami Jheryllkanyga, Monday, 17 January 2005 08:41 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.audioscrobbler.com/place/Finland

― green uno skip card (ex machina), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Metallica? Hihihi! THey always were pussies in Finland.

― Janne Karlsson, Wednesday, 9 March 2005 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

WTF this thread

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:17 (seventeen years ago)

I haven't seen this one yet but I can tell you now it's totally dead serious and they are looking for young maidens to sacrifice.

― america is the only _______ that _______ (country matters), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

maidens, children and your waekling god

― Vas Djifrens, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:25 (seventeen years ago)

odin is a pussy

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:26 (seventeen years ago)

pussy cat like a jungle tiger, you must mean

may the staff of wotan sodomise your brain

― Vas Djifrens, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:29 (seventeen years ago)

ragnarok was a gas.

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:33 (seventeen years ago)

will you listen to cradle of filth while doing these wicked wicked things?
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), November 17th, 2004.

you are thinking you are funny? that is pansy music.

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 07:49 (4 years ago) Bookmark

pipe on, pipers :D

― america is the only _______ that _______ (country matters), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:33 (seventeen years ago)

en garde, i'll let you try my wotan style ...

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:34 (seventeen years ago)

Good times.

― moley, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:40 (seventeen years ago)

I just read this thread with stony face and grim acknowledgement...any laughs that burgeoned forth were spasms of Satan

― america is the only _______ that _______ (country matters), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:46 (seventeen years ago)

The mountains of hell are in labour; an absurd black metal band will be born.

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:48 (seventeen years ago)

Highlights are manifold, chief perhaps being Horst's first post and Vas' explanation of Satan's humour, along with every time Janne and Sami despair in mutual enmity

― america is the only _______ that _______ (country matters), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:51 (seventeen years ago)

how many demons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

None. demons prefer the darkness.

― moley, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 22:48 (seventeen years ago)

http://ruthlessreviews.com/pics5/bm2/bm5.jpg

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 23:04 (seventeen years ago)

Way to kill the thread Eisey!

― moley, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 10:43 (seventeen years ago)

mr. vas djifrens on the morning after a wild night of making hate:

http://ruthlessreviews.com/pics5/bm2/bm4b.jpg

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 20:04 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

this thread always picks me up when i am down

― LOLBJ (Eisbaer), Sunday, 22 March 2009 04:16 (seventeen years ago)

ten months pass...

odin is a pussy

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Tuesday, February 3, 2009 3:26 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

pussy cat like a jungle tiger, you must mean

may the staff of wotan sodomise your brain

― Vas Djifrens, Tuesday, February 3, 2009 3:29 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

good times XD

― It's about a wheel, in the sky, that keeps on turning (Eisbaer), Thursday, 11 February 2010 02:59 (sixteen years ago)

three months pass...

another black metal thread that deserves to revived every so often.

― Aspergers Makes My Pee Smell Funny (Eisbaer), Saturday, 29 May 2010 19:11 (sixteen years ago)

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