Amelie to help solve the Da Vinci Code

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Alba puzzled, Leon laughs evilly

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 January 2005 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

This will be the most hater-fuelling film in ILE history.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 24 January 2005 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, Dan Brown, Audrey Tatou = the four horsepeople of the cinematic apocalypse.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 January 2005 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

But what's wrong with Audrey Tatou?

― Pangolino again, Monday, 24 January 2005 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Such a few Amelie threads and you'll find out.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 January 2005 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I CALLED THIS, FUCKNUTS!

It's on it's knees begging & pleading to be made into a film starring Ralph Fiennes and Audrey Tautou.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 23rd, 2004 9:20 AM. (nickalicious)

I AM ALL THAT IS MAN!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Man, why couldn't it have been Ralph Fiennes (okay, cuz he's British, yeah) or like GARY FUCKING OLDMAN and anybody but fucking FORREST GUMP.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, credit to Nickalicious there! I suspect the Hanks/Howard thing is a package deal.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Good work, Nicka! On the prediction that is!

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Amelie rocks. Audrey Tatou rocks. Case closed and anti-threads be damned.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Lock thread

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Tautou should cash in. She can actually act and as a foreign actress, her chance at Hollywood money is lower than with many 'English-speaking' mere bosoms-on-legs. As for RH (whom I once met and who is a nice man) and TH, they'll make a movie as mediocre as the book.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I read _Digital Fortress_ and it sucked ass.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

And how...

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Just once I'd like to hear Ron Howard launch into a drunken out-of-control frenzy of swears.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG, wait until Allyzay finds out about the Amelie chick!!!

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, excuse my bitter pedentry here, folks, but Audrey's last name does not rhyme with tattoo. It sounds like 'tow two'.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought Hanks was stuck on a desert island somewhere...

― andy --, Monday, 24 January 2005 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Tom... Hanks...?

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

pedentry = pedantry without the caffeine.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Oops - sorry - I'd spelled her name wrong.

― Pangolino again, Monday, 24 January 2005 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I read _Digital Fortress_ and it sucked ass.

Yes it really did. Full disclosure, I read on the subway. I refuse to the read most new fiction (everything but Neal Stephenson and a few other authors) until they put out a paperback version. They will never release a paperback version of the Da Vinci Code, since after reading it, people apparently are possessed with the perverse urge to rebuy the hardcover version every month or so (Must...give...Dan...Brown...more...money). Ergo, I might well see the movie before I ever read the book. I read the other two Brown novels to see what the fuss is about. They're just airport books, glorified movie screenplays with a bit of technilingo and mythology laid over top. I truly do not get what the big deal is.

I think Audrey Tatou is pretty, but I am apparently the only person who thinks the Amelie character is a dangerously unbalanced stalker who should be hospitalized.

― Ash (ashbyman), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX is really far gone if there's really so much hate for Audrey Tatou.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I hated _Digital Fortress_ so much I advised the coworker who loaned it to me that he should sue Dan Brown for the price of the paperback plus $100K for mental anguish. Sometimes it's not a big deal if a "plot twist" is signposted early but FOR FUCK'S SAKE I KNEW HOW IT WOULD END BY CHAPTER TEN.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

These days everything is stalking. Common mischief is stalking. Magical realist film characters are stalking.

I read a review about a film, I forgot the title where two women are wooed in the exact same way and one decides the guy is a stalker and the other one thinks it's charming and they get together. He does things like send flowers and put a note under her door.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Was the note written on the body of a kitten?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

haha! no.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

HOLLYWOOD MYTHS:

1) Tom Cruise is an actor. He's not. He's an ego.

2) Tom Hanks is an 'everyman.' He's not. He's a schlub.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX is really far gone if there's really so much hate for Audrey Tatou.

OTM!!!!!

Next up: ILXers be startin' up some kinda crazy cult of Franka Potante hate.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Look in my eyes
What do you see?
The cult of Franka Potante

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

YOU ARE MY HERO DANG.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a fair point I suppose. I was being flip and I'd be interested in the name of the film you refer to Orbit, but I stick to my original sentiment. When watching Amelie for the first time, (again, I really did enjoy the movie and found it and Ms. Tatou very sweet) I found myself thinking that if I was the object of her affection and was led on merry chases with chalk arrows and the like only to come to her shop and confront her and have her act like she had no idea who I was, I would look incredulously at her, leave, and if she ever again tried to contact me, contact the authorities. One can never be too careful.

― Ash (ashbyman), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Franka = haaawwwwtttt. Run Lola run right to me perleaze!!

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 24 January 2005 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Like Eliza Dushku
And Remini
I am the cult of Franka Potante

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 24 January 2005 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oh Dan, where art thou?"

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/sony_pictures_classics/run_lola_run/franka_potente/lola4.jpg

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 24 January 2005 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Neon hair
savoir fair
When our Franka runs, all stop and stare

― Ash (ashbyman), Monday, 24 January 2005 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Next up: ILXers be startin' up some kinda crazy cult of Franka Potante hate.

Q: What's worse than a regular hippie?

A: A grotesque German night-hag hippie.

― adam (adam), Monday, 24 January 2005 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Has Tautou been in anything un-twee aside from Dirty Pretty Things (where she was overshadowed by every single member of the cast including the extras)?

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 24 January 2005 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought she was pretty good in that

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 24 January 2005 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

It's spelt Potente, damn you all.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 24 January 2005 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

They caint spell Potente nor Tautou cuz them's furrin names.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

my love for FRANKA is POTENTE.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

surely you mean farren, idjit.
x-post

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

My paints are on far.

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I caint afoward a fowar dowar Foward.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

M R Ducks
M R Knot
S A R
C M Feathers
L I B
MR Ducks

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

or something like that

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

LIB, gave me pause but I reckon I sussed it out.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

My seventh grade English teacher put that on the board as "Clinton's Arkansas Literacy Test".

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

keep it up and we can have the new finnegan's wake!

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

finnegans wake, dammit!!! T'aint no apostrof innit.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

everyone does that though, fuck a joyce

― bprofane (AaronHz), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, fuck spellin' a joyce!

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

This is actually very similar to the plot of another Tatou film "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not."

― S!monB!rch (Carey), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Franke Potente=hot
Audrey Tattoo=creepy and frightening

So anyway she'll fit right in with the rest of the movie.

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn you all, this will be great popcorn pulpy crappy goodness!

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/pics/amelie.gif

http://members.ozemail.com.au/~peterv/bb/bbv2.jpg

hooray!

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

in arcadia ego etc

― autovac (autovac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Audrey Tautou could sweep a broom, pick her nose, make tea, peel and orange, whatever, and I'd be transfixed.

― 57 7th (calstars), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

See, it's like that for me too, but it's not so much an "aw, I'm in lurv" transfixed as an "OMG she's gonna be leaving with my kidneys, innit?" transfixed.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Vous êtes tous des trouillards.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Tom Hanks v. Amelie, who constantly has the dopiest, scariest, vacant expression on their face? OPIE WANTS YOU TO FIND OUT.

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

Death Fast Urged as a 'Da Vinci' Protest

A Roman Catholic organization in India has urged Christians to starve themselves to death to protest the release of "The Da Vinci Code" in movie theaters there, Agence France-Presse reported. Joseph Dias, the secretary general of the Catholic Secular Forum, who spoke of the "fast unto death" as a demonstration of "the extent that our feelings have been hurt," said that it is "a more Christian way of doing things rather than pulling down things and tearing them up." The forum said that it hoped that thousands of people would turn out for a protest today in Mumbai to burn effigies of Dan Brown, the author of the best-selling novel that is the basis for the film, scheduled for international release on May 19. Yesterday about 100 people gathered in Mumbai to burn pages of the book, but the police stopped them from torching an effigy of Mr. Brown, whose novel posits that Jesus and Mary Magdalene married and had children and that their line survives. About 2 percent of the 1.1 billion people in India are Christian.

(nytimes.com)

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 10 May 2006 18:13 (twenty years ago)

A Roman Catholic organization in India has urged Christians to starve themselves to death to protest the release of "The Da Vinci Code" in movie theaters there

Productive!

― Dan (Bizarro) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 10 May 2006 18:20 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, dude. Can you imagine if a movie like "Life of Brian" came out today?

Its a piece of fucking fiction. FICTION!!!!! STORIES!!!!! Fer fucks sake, man.

― Big Loud Ape Mountain (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Wednesday, 10 May 2006 18:29 (twenty years ago)

Drudge has been posting lots of these stories, like the one Nigerian bishop who wants to sue the filmmakers

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 10 May 2006 18:37 (twenty years ago)

Even Jews hate this movie! (Jewsweek):
http://www.jewsweek.com/bin/en.jsp?enPage=BlankPage&enDisplay=view&enDispWhat=object&enDispWho=Article^l2069&enZone=Stories

― The Boy Who Cried YSI? (Freud Junior), Thursday, 11 May 2006 00:52 (twenty years ago)

I'm every person you need to be!
I'm ... A ... FRANK, AH ... PO ... ... .... TENTEEEEEEE!!!

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 11 May 2006 02:15 (twenty years ago)

(I am a Franke, I am a Franke, etc etc)

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 11 May 2006 02:17 (twenty years ago)

this will be the forrest gump of conspiracy thrillers.

― fortunate hazel (f. hazel), Thursday, 11 May 2006 06:00 (twenty years ago)

JEWSWEEK

― JEWNIUS (alanbanana), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:18 (twenty years ago)

"i haven't read it"
"oh, but you must!"
(overheard recently in local whsmith. was surprised by the enthusiasm.)

dead ringers did a good (well, ok) rolf harris based spoof the other day featuring a group of monks called Opus G'Day.

somebody ought to point the christians at later issues of Preacher if they really want to upset them.

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:36 (twenty years ago)

What a shit book.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 11 May 2006 08:36 (twenty years ago)

http://au.news.yahoo.com/060508/2/yv9o.html

...Both cardinals asserted that other religions would never stand for offences against their beliefs and that Christians should get tough.

"Christians must not just sit back and say it is enough for us to forgive and to forget," Arinze said in the documentary made by Rome film maker Mario Biasetti for Rome Reports, a Catholic film agency specialising in religious affairs.

"Sometimes it is our duty to do something practical. So it is not I who will tell all Christians what to do but some know legal means which can be taken in order to get the other person to respect the rights of others," Arinze said.

"This is one of the fundamental human rights: that we should be respected, our religious beliefs respected, and our founder Jesus Christ respected," he said, without elaborating on what legal means he had in mind...

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:07 (twenty years ago)

there is no way in hell that this flick won't make crazy money

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:14 (twenty years ago)

JEWSWEEK

Yeah, I'm still getting over that myself.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:22 (twenty years ago)

I was really hoping this thread was going to be about a sequel: Amelie vs. Da Vinci Code

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Down with this sort of thing.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:33 (twenty years ago)

SPOILERS!!!

Well, since in the book the character played by Tatou is revealed to be a descendant of Jesus, that'd be a great idead: Amelie really is The Saviour!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Jewsweek never lies!

― The Boy Who Cried YSI? (Freud Junior), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:34 (twenty years ago)

would tom hanks get to snog amelie?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:37 (twenty years ago)

If Tautou is a descendent of Jesus, I think I just found me some of that old-timey religion! Mmmmmmmm, Tautou.

I was entertained by the book only by reading it super-duper fast, so fast that the words blurred together and the tortured, stilted prose of Dan Brown was destroyed consumed in an apocoliptic fire of purification and...OH GOD THAT MAN CAN"T WRITE I REMEMBER HIS WORDS I DIDN'T READ IT FAST ENOUGH...

Audrey haters are dead inside. Amelie haters are meat-puppets.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:59 (twenty years ago)

would tom hanks get to snog amelie?

http://www.foxhome.com/castaway/about_film/images/about_left.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:00 (twenty years ago)

Why exactly has that photo not been re-used more?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:05 (twenty years ago)

So many captions, so little time.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:08 (twenty years ago)

oh ilx (or just ned), i share your hatred of ron howard, dan brown, and tom hanks, but i cannot agree with the hate for Audrey Tatou. seriously. one of those things is NOT like the others.

― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:25 (twenty years ago)

I liked Amelie. And I admit perving over Tatou in another flick where she appeared nude.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:27 (twenty years ago)

Most of the arguments used to dismiss the "true" parts of this seem to be based evidence just about as flimsy!

― JW (ex machina), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:32 (twenty years ago)

xpost what's this nude thing?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 11 May 2006 15:20 (twenty years ago)

Amelie is a pretty cringey movie, but Audrey T is clearly the most adorable human ever (doesn't mean i want to see this movie)

― timmy tannin (pompous), Thursday, 11 May 2006 15:29 (twenty years ago)

i hated amelie but i liked her in dirty pretty things.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 11 May 2006 15:35 (twenty years ago)

A Very Long Engagement was quite good.

― Chairman Doinel (Charles McCain), Thursday, 11 May 2006 15:39 (twenty years ago)

it was definitely very long.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 11 May 2006 15:41 (twenty years ago)

xpost what's this nude thing?

It was a film called "Libertines" or something like that, about the French libertines. She's in a supproting role, I think it was made pre-Amelie. It also has a great opening scene where a woman wearing this sort of a huge renaissance dress is visited by someone, and when he goes away the woman starts to moan, and then it's revealed there's a guy under her dress giving her head. This is inspired me to, er, try the same.

I liked A Very Long Engagement too. I think those expecting Amelie 2 might've been disappointed by it, but Jeunet's attention to detail is great and the characters were really quite charming.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 11 May 2006 16:22 (twenty years ago)

"And I admit perving over Tatou in another flick where she appeared nude."

perving = ?

― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 11 May 2006 16:25 (twenty years ago)

Getting very excited when realizing the movie was showing her nude, albeit briefly.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 11 May 2006 16:27 (twenty years ago)

you gave a woman head under a huge renaissance dress?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 11 May 2006 16:32 (twenty years ago)

Nah, just a regular one. Though it would be a cool idea for a role play kind of thing.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 11 May 2006 16:34 (twenty years ago)

You gave a woman a regular one under a huge renaissance dress?

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 11 May 2006 17:35 (twenty years ago)

'Da Vinci Code' Sparks Indian Riots

Controversial new movie adaptation The Da Vinci Code has prompted religious protests in the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay). Hundreds of Catholic stalwarts yesterday gathered outside a convent school in the city in a bid to stop the film's release next week , blasting it as an attack on their faith. Members of the Catholic Secular Forum (CSF) have taken offence to the movie's depiction of Catholic group Opus Dei as corrupt, out-dated and at the centre of a cover-up of the truth about Jesus Christ. Csf general secretary Joseph Dias says, "Activists will go on a fast unto death if the government fails to take action against anti-Christian movies. You can't make fiction on a religious figure. Tempers are already running quite high and there's no way of saying what could happen if the movie is released." In a statement, the group added: "The Da Vinci Code is offensive as it hit certain basic foundations of the religion." The protest is the second in a week by the CSF after Tuesday saw approximately one hundred demonstrators take to the streets outside a Mumbai church and burn copies of the Dan Brown novel.

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 12 May 2006 15:35 (twenty years ago)

http://www.odan.org/davinci.htm

― JW (ex machina), Friday, 12 May 2006 15:36 (twenty years ago)

I'm surprised that Tuomas had a sexual reaction to another's undress!

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 12 May 2006 16:28 (twenty years ago)

what would have happened, dear tuomas, if that scene was shot in a sauna?

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 12 May 2006 16:58 (twenty years ago)

Or in a globe, filled with water? Can you give a woman a regular one in a giant glass sphere?

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Friday, 12 May 2006 17:36 (twenty years ago)

Ah, Cannes is beautiful. The people, not necessarily:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41654000/jpg/_41654332_cannes_vinci_ap203.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 15:36 (twenty years ago)

Gump N' Opie

― late to the bloom to the er (latebloomer), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 15:49 (twenty years ago)

My film critic friend:

And today from Cannes, where the movie premieres tomorrow (Wednesday) night, word has already been wafting over that the reason for the secrecy is not that Sony desperately wants to preserve the "mysteries" of the movie, or that the studio fears the Catholic Church. After seeing it tonight myself, I can report that the only thing Sony is hoping to conceal is that The Da Vinci Code is staggeringly bad. It's almost inconceivable just how bad it is. Anyone who's been looking forward to it all year, please: Exhale. It opens here Friday. And that should mean very little to you.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 15:57 (twenty years ago)

What the BBC had to say about the film.

I particularly like

"One of the book's triumphs is the way in which it allows the reader to solve the clues before Langdon and Neveu, giving the reader a smug satisfaction at their own perceived intelligence. "

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 15:58 (twenty years ago)

giving the reader a smug satisfaction at their own perceived intelligence.

heh. wasn't this the joke that Family Guy made about it? either that or "the chapters are really short so you feel like you're reading a lot"

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 16:51 (twenty years ago)

A. O. Scott raves:

"The Da Vinci Code" is one of the few screen versions of a book that may take longer to watch than to read. (Curiously enough, Mr. Howard accomplished a similar feat with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" a few years back.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 16:53 (twenty years ago)

Meanwhile, the albino monk, whose name is Silas and who may be the first character in the history of motion pictures to speak Latin into a cell phone, flagellates himself, smashes the floor of a church and kills a nun.

A chase, as Bezu's American colleagues might put it, ensues.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 16:55 (twenty years ago)

current drudge frontpage:

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/rids/20060516/i/r2570364476.jpg?x=246&y=345&sig=UA6FCAzRzrVxk986tJCNWw--
JEERING, LAUGHTER AT 'DA VINCI'
CANNES CRITICS LEFT COLD

I hope he someday writes all his headlines Variety-style.

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 16:57 (twenty years ago)

PAUNCY GUMPINGTON

― JW (ex machina), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 17:00 (twenty years ago)

HOLY SHIT A MOVIE BASED ON A BESTSELLING PULP* IS HORRENDOUSLY BAD

*which is not about dinosaurs

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 17:19 (twenty years ago)

Tom Hanks looks like Christopher Hitchens these days...

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 17:22 (twenty years ago)

if you're blind.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 17:27 (twenty years ago)

WE REPORT YOU DECIDE, BRO

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b7/Christopher_Hitchens_2.jpg/180px-Christopher_Hitchens_2.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 17:41 (twenty years ago)

Do all lumpy face white guys look alike to you? Is that what yr saying?!

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 17:41 (twenty years ago)

audrey tatou is way cute, but she looks HORRIFYING on the posters for this movie!

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 17:51 (twenty years ago)

oh dear: 15%

(Ebert liked it)

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 19 May 2006 05:31 (twenty years ago)

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1152324/photo_17.jpg

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1152324/photo_18.jpg

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1152324/photo_19.jpg

(he needs the fake red-eye contact lenses)

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 19 May 2006 05:35 (twenty years ago)

http://simonz.web.elte.hu/wallp/circle-ani.jpg

FIRST GIS RESULT

― JW (ex machina), Friday, 19 May 2006 05:38 (twenty years ago)

what was the search text

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 19 May 2006 05:42 (twenty years ago)

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1152324/photo_25.jpg

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1152324/photo_28.jpg

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 19 May 2006 05:45 (twenty years ago)

hahah i just saw it. SO MUCH FUN!

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 19 May 2006 12:50 (twenty years ago)

I was thinking the SAME EXACT THING as JW there.

Do all lumpy face white guys look alike to you? Is that what yr saying?!

Sounds accurate enough!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 19 May 2006 13:38 (twenty years ago)

i don't get why all the reviews are dissing it - it's the best thing they could possibly have done with the material. sure, the characters are wafer-thin, yes, it's completely unrealistic and totally melodramatic and overblown and cheesy - so what? it's a really fun ride. paul bettany is AWFUL though.

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:15 (twenty years ago)

Between "wafer-thin" and his email addressm emsk is making me think of a certain Monsieur Creosote.

― JW (ex machina), Friday, 19 May 2006 15:33 (twenty years ago)

For 'his' substitute 'her'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 19 May 2006 15:35 (twenty years ago)

My favorite negative review:

"You know a movie's a dud when even its self-flagellating albino killer monk isn't any fun."

My favorite positive review:

"More entertaining and satisfying than the novel.

I know those words, but together they are robbed of all meaning. The review could have read "Nearly everything else in the known universe."

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Friday, 19 May 2006 15:41 (twenty years ago)

lol Ian McKellen:

He said: "I am only too happy to believe that Jesus was married. I know that the Catholic Church has problems with gay people and I thought this would be absolute proof that Jesus was not gay."

http://news.scotsman.com/uk.cfm?id=738022006

― Roz (Roz), Saturday, 20 May 2006 19:53 (twenty years ago)

surprise! it sucked. which was expected, but its a surprisingly murky-looking and joyless adaptation of such a lightweight novel.

― late to the bloom to the er (latebloomer), Saturday, 20 May 2006 20:13 (twenty years ago)

audrey tatou is hella cute though (i've never seen any of her other movies).

― late to the bloom to the er (latebloomer), Saturday, 20 May 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

Sadly though, it is a murky and joyless novel too.

Things I liked about it:
1) Seeing it in a cinema in Paris, where at least everyone shuts the fuck up until the film is over, and then has a laugh about it afterwords
2) Jean Reno. Normally I don't like him, but his weariness with just about everything was a huge asset here.

Things I didn't like about it:
1) Paul Bettany. How can our lovable, knockabout psycho from Gangster No.1 have been reduced to this? Usually I love him so much. Even Wimbledon, yes, even that. But this was a waste.
2)Audrey Tatou. Yes, she's very attractive, but the woman in the book was a lot feistier. With Tatou, unless she's the only person on camera, you don't really see her. An advantage in Dirty Pretty Things, but not here.
2) The fact that it was adapted from The Da Vinci Code. What can you do with a novel that thinks it's cinematic, but actually isn't? Especially with the ending...

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Sunday, 21 May 2006 08:03 (twenty years ago)

I give it a 1/2 star more than National Treasure!

― dave's good arm (facsimile) (dave225.3), Sunday, 21 May 2006 18:01 (twenty years ago)

national treasure was fun but wild horses couldnt drag me to this

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 21 May 2006 18:02 (twenty years ago)

cage >>>>>>>>>>> hanks, as much as i do love joe vs the volcano & the burbs

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 21 May 2006 18:03 (twenty years ago)

I giggle at all the free publicity the flick is getting. "THE DA VINCI CODE - THE TRUTH BEHIND THE FICTION - SUNDAY 10:00" on the sign on the church about 3 blocks south.

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 21 May 2006 18:10 (twenty years ago)

churches are getting a load of free publicity also. there was an article in one of the papers the other day about how they're doing tours, myth-bustings etc, and charging people for 'em. and selling books and stuff..

― emsk ( emsk), Sunday, 21 May 2006 18:14 (twenty years ago)

well it seems to have worked:

"Da Vinci Code" unlocks $224 mln in world sales

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 21 May 2006 18:18 (twenty years ago)

national treasure was way better than this movie

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 21 May 2006 19:34 (twenty years ago)

if i was a jr high history teacher i would totally show national treasure in class

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 21 May 2006 19:37 (twenty years ago)

Well, National Treasure forms the plot for Dan Brown's next COMPLETELY ORIGINAL AND THOROUGHLY RESEARCHED blockbuster, so at least he seems to understand what PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Sunday, 21 May 2006 19:47 (twenty years ago)

boobies?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 21 May 2006 19:49 (twenty years ago)

tatou boob?

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 21 May 2006 19:57 (twenty years ago)

tatooub?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 21 May 2006 19:58 (twenty years ago)

Tony Tatooub?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:04 (twenty years ago)

this movie was awful, audrey tatou has to be the dullest single french leading lady of cinema EVER. this was basically a fucking phantom menace remake only jake lloyd might be a better actor than amelie. i swear to god i almost ended up sympathizing with opus dei. almost.

― j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

i guess i missed the pod race in this when i went to take a leak

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:18 (twenty years ago)

this was basically a fucking phantom menace remake only jake lloyd might be a better actor than amelie

Ouch!

― The Mercury Krueger (Ex Leon), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:19 (twenty years ago)

ts: da vinci code geeks vs fundie nutjobs vs ppl w/ unearned skepticism who inform you in hushed tones about the 60 minutes special & 'that stuff isnt even TRUE!'

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:20 (twenty years ago)

my world was SHATTERED

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:21 (twenty years ago)

duh pod race = amelie can drive backwards at highspeed (in a pod) thru two trucks thanks to ~~the force~~ her jesus genes

― j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:21 (twenty years ago)

paul bettany = darth maul obv

― j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:23 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jedidigital.com/images/jar-jar-binks2.jpg http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/dailyrecord2/sep2005/7/0/00011E5C-FB9E-133C-86CF0C01AC1BF814.jpg

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:32 (twenty years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38090000/jpg/_38090366_binks150.jpg

― and what (ooo), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:34 (twenty years ago)

jar jar actually looks more dignified in that pic

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:35 (twenty years ago)

I think it was pretty fun. It managed to be better than the book, which admittedly isn't a strong feat, but it was good entertainment still. Hanks and Tatou were pretty forgettable, but given that the source material doesn't give them much to do but travel from one historical place to another and solve some riddles, I think they handled it okay. For once I wished Hollywood would've added more romance to the story though. Also, the relationship between the Tatou character and her grandfather should've been better fleshed out, that was one of the nicest things in the book. Similarly, Silas was kinda like Darth Maul of the film: he looked menacing, but there wasnät much more to him. Again, a bit more character bakcground from the book might've helped. And Reno was way underused in this, the few scenes he got could've been played by anyone. The best actor was, unsurprisingly, McKellen, he did his part in the sort of a classic manner that fit the film perfectly.

All in all, the one thing I think they might've emphasized more was the feminine mystique and positive sexuality of the pagan religions vs. the patriarchalism and hatred of women in Christianity, I think that was the real radical part of the book (well, radical for such a book at least), not the theory that Jesus might've had a family. But as said, the film did good work with cutting off all the dull parts of the book, even the anticlimactic ending was made better. I liked the final scene between Hanks and Tatou, even though you could say it was cop-out to make the story less anti-Christian. But it was a nice, intimate scene.

Oh, one thing more, I thought the parts in London kinda suffered from the fact they couldn't shoot in the real locations.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Haha, that was an x-post with the Darth Maul comparison.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 21 May 2006 20:40 (twenty years ago)

I saw it yesterday. It's indefensibly, staggeringly boring (and I quite liked the book). Several people left early.

― caek (caek), Monday, 22 May 2006 11:20 (twenty years ago)

I didn't read the book, but I saw this yesterday -- such a magnificently, deliriously bad film. It was like having a 3 hour conversation with a paranoid schizophrenic -- incoherent, self-involved, and amazingly boring. Boilerplate conspiracy nutjob plot, "A Beautiful Mind"-esque flashing-numbers code-solving sequences, pornographic self-flagellation, and bizarre intercut historical flashbacks make for a nut-house masterpiece.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Monday, 22 May 2006 12:43 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, the flashbacks were really great. They should've included a flashback of Jesus fucking Mary Magdalene just for the hell of it.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 12:45 (twenty years ago)

did anyone else think that the tomb of the magdelene looked like it was bought at a bargain knickknack shop?

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Monday, 22 May 2006 12:56 (twenty years ago)

How to take a movie's success too seriously.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 14:10 (twenty years ago)

You can watch Anthony Lane lose his famous urbanity, sentence by sentence, as he tries to articulate his intense hatred for this film.

http://www.newyorker.com/critics/cinema/?060529crci_cinema

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 22 May 2006 14:12 (twenty years ago)

SPOILERISH!

I just don't get the "attack on Christianity" aspect to this. The whole thing is so frigging hokey. I wanted to make fun of people by saying as I walked out "So wow I didn't like know that Mary Magdalene was buried under the Louvre" but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

― pleased to mitya (mitya), Monday, 22 May 2006 14:15 (twenty years ago)

The Anthony Lane post-mortem is the most enjoyable I've ever read.

Stumbling out from the final credits, tugging nervously at my goatee, I was none the wiser.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 14:38 (twenty years ago)

in terms of the perceived attack by those wanting to be persecuted, the whole thing rings a lot like what happens when these same folks go after other bits of stupid pop culture. there was a Pitchfork bit about the Hell's Bells docu about the evils of rock music, and the point is the same; you have a bunch of folks hilariously(and/or deliberately) ignorant of how pop culture actually work, with no sense of irony or self-awareness. It's this lack of perspective on pop culture that would elevate a stoopid best-selling pulp to some completely serious broadside attack on what they think they believe in.

I think it's also playing into their bullshit narrative that Hollywood is just a buncha trait'rous lib'ruls out to Destroy America, so this stoopid overblown summer movie from a stoopid overblown pulp becomes evidence of that, allowing them to do their famed knees-bent, running about & whining behavior. Examples of the contrary(Narnia, Mel Gibson, any war movie) are held up as exceptions proving the rule. I thought it was cute that the NRO idjit attacks tom hanks and doesn't mention shit that conservatives rejoice in(like Saving Private Ryan).

These are folks so needing of evidence of a conspiracy against them that they have no problem inventing it(e.g. War on Christmas).

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 14:59 (twenty years ago)

Stanley Kurtz reacts as if the movie revealed that it was HIS mother who slept with Jesus:

Why have Democrats been so angry? It’s because their taken-for-granted cultural superiority has been called into question by 9/11, the return of patriotism, a tough foreign policy, and the open defense of the sort of traditional values they thought were on the way out. Republican victories have punctured the cultural left’s sense of the historical inevitability of their triumph, and that is at the root of their rage. By controlling the political agenda, conservatives control the cultural agenda as well (or at least a large part of it). But the truth is, other than the government, the left is still in control of our critical cultural institutions. Should the left recapture the government as well, it may well succeed in pushing traditionalists aside in the culture at large.

The battle is radicalizing. Big Love and The Da Vinci Code are far more direct and brazen attacks on tradition than we might have anticipated just a few years ago. Conservatives are the targets, and Hollywood is aiming and shooting repeatedly. Give credit to Tom Hanks, by the way. As producer of Big Love and star of The Da Vinci Code, he is clearly one of the captains of the not-so-secret conspiracy.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 22 May 2006 15:12 (twenty years ago)

Ha, why do conservatives hate Big Love?

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 15:15 (twenty years ago)

Because they are jealous that some Mormons get more.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 15:16 (twenty years ago)

some Mormons get more.

This could be the new "Virgina is for Lovers"

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 15:25 (twenty years ago)

you gotta wonder just how fucked up and miserable some conservatives' homelives are that they think big love 'glamorizes' polygamy.

― j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 22 May 2006 16:11 (twenty years ago)

what if it works just the same as any mention of gay folks, where they think that just acknowledging that gay folks exist without the accompanying screeching condemnation is some advancing the radical homosexual agenda? Just by allowing for the fact that any Other Way To Live exists somehow is a direct attack on their lives, since they obviously are living the One True Way.

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 16:15 (twenty years ago)

yes, "what if"

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Monday, 22 May 2006 16:18 (twenty years ago)

By controlling the political agenda, conservatives control the cultural agenda as well (or at least a large part of it).

Is it just me or does this run completely counter to whatever remains that is admirable of conservative thought?

Well, he's got me nailed:

Republican victories have punctured the cultural left’s sense of the historical inevitability of their triumph, and that is at the root of their rage.

Why do Republicans sound like Trotkyites nowadays?

This reminds me of the frothing over Revenge of the Sith. DUDZ, it is pulp fiction. Relax.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 16:20 (twenty years ago)

and it can extend to anything that could be viewed Different; take sex, fer example, where some folks have held that anything other that dude-on-top missionary is classified as sodomy, and thus banned by law, God, etc.

like some sorta '50s american anything is different is "subversive" mindset still hanging around

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 16:23 (twenty years ago)

Howard Kutz is:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000JGHR.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 16:44 (twenty years ago)

did anyone else think that the tomb of the magdelene looked like it was bought at a bargain knickknack shop?

-- elmo argonaut (elmo.oxyge...), May 22nd, 2006.

otm, you think they'd show the ol' gal more respek

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 17:10 (twenty years ago)

Meantime, this plot summary of the book distills all the pain so well. Sample paragraph:

Collet arrives at the castle, but Sophie, Langdon, the bound Silas, Teabing, and his servant, Rémy, escape and board Teabing’s private plane to England. Sophie realizes that the writing on the cryptex is decipherable if viewed in a mirror. They come to understand the poem, which refers to “a headstone praised by Templars” and the “Atbash cipher,” which will help them arrive at the password. Langdon remembers that the Knights Templar supposedly worshipped the god Baphomet, who is sometimes represented by a large stone head. The word, unscrambled by the Atbash Cipher, is Sofia. When they open the cryptex, however, they find only another cryptex, this one with a clue about a tomb where a knight was buried by a pope. They must find the orb that should have been on the knight’s tomb.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:02 (twenty years ago)

oh noes the magic of the book is ruined!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:10 (twenty years ago)

SILENCE, CRYPTEX LOVER.

the god Baphomet, who is sometimes represented by a large stone head

Hmm, Third Rock From the Sun is all explained now. They worshipped Shatner.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:11 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, one of the things I think the movie improved upon the book was that it didn't pay as much attention to those silly riddles - there wasn't even a cryptex inside the cryptex. The plot of the book was basically just people solving one crossword puzzle after another, spiced with some religion theory.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:15 (twenty years ago)

I thought it was cute that the NRO idjit attacks tom hanks and doesn't mention shit that conservatives rejoice in(like Saving Private Ryan).

Warren Bell, to his credit, points this out in a follow-up post.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:20 (twenty years ago)

the editing and cinematography in this movie is horrible

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:21 (twenty years ago)

I initially read that as 'choreography.'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:22 (twenty years ago)

hahaha i was immensely disappointed that tom hanks couldn't dance nearly as well as i thought he could

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:23 (twenty years ago)

I thought it was pretty well made, especially the flashbacks. Howard is not a genius or anything, but he's a professional.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:23 (twenty years ago)

I'm feeling drawn towards Hanks' mullet.

― Brian Furry (noodle vague), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:24 (twenty years ago)

i dunno maybe it was the projectionist in the theater i was in, but the movie looked awfully murky and ugly.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:25 (twenty years ago)

well fwiw it's worth i read the book as being pretty solidly anti-catholic, don't really take a genius or persecution complex to see that.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:31 (twenty years ago)

well, yeah, i agree with that, but no one is accusing Jack Chick of being an (intentional) attack on Christianity for all his "anti-Papist" bits

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:41 (twenty years ago)

tho it would follow that these guys(be they catholic or protestant) would use an attack on catholics by a protestant fundie(?) as an example of the "War on Christianity"

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Well technically I think that a "fact-based" novel accusing the largest Christian sect (? I am almost 100% sure) of being anti-women and also based on complete lies (which, keep in mind, would also kinda be a downer on other Christian sects too being with the whole Jesus thing) and how basically everyone involved in the religion at hand is a psycho is an example of anti-Christian-religion thought processes. That's just me tho. I'm not one of the ppls trying to make an anti-right-wing thread outta everything.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:50 (twenty years ago)

he largest Christian sect (? I am almost 100% sure)

yes.

based on complete lies

based on some "lies" and some "things that have as much evidence behind them as what the catholics believe in except haven't been around for more than a few years"

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:53 (twenty years ago)

I think the pro-women thing in the book was actually the strongest criticism against Catholicism and Christianity in general, but perhaps not surprisingly critics of Brown have mostly just focused on the Jesus's mortality and his offspring aspect.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:56 (twenty years ago)

I don't think the book was intended like that, in terms of attack on all things christian, i think it's more some dumb pulp that needed a tom clancy technothriller/conspiracy angle, so it went after a big centralized org that actually a long history & some pretty closed operations. Wasn't this thing written & released about the time that all the clergy sex-abuse shit was going on?

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:57 (twenty years ago)

Also, if you're going to attack the catholic church, the truth works fine!

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 18:58 (twenty years ago)

The thing is that most versions of Christianity are usually happy to get the boot into Catholicism, so fundies accusing this film of being anti-Christian are on shaky ground. And Catholic Church conspiracy theories would be much less common if the Church itself didn't have a long dishonourable history of, you know, covering stuff up.

― Brian Furry (noodle vague), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:00 (twenty years ago)

I agree that the truth works fine but being like "oh there are better ways to attack the church" isn't exactly the same thing as "this is not a criticism of the church."

Tuomas is OTM! So is nv truth be told (re: fundies and anti-Christianism).

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:01 (twenty years ago)

CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER WAS A CRITICISM OF AMERICAN FOREIGN/DRUG POLICY!!!!2`12

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:04 (twenty years ago)

And I think the Catholic Church is usually good at ignoring stuff like DVC, nowadays. What is reprehensible is if the movie helps to incite/affirm sectarian bigotry. But you can't blame film-makers or writers for other peoples' idiocy.

― Brian Furry (noodle vague), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:05 (twenty years ago)

I agree with Allyzay in that the story is very anti-Catholic, at least structurally. It goes beyond a lot of other conspiracy narratives in that it is not just about corruption, but the idea that an entire religion is basically a system of control perpetuated by a secret ruling elite.

I think this anti-Catholicism is primarily the result of the need for a powerful organization in a thriller about Mary Magdelene, Templars, and brain-teasers (which were kind of fun compared to the rest of the novel).

But the popular conservative reaction is so way out of step with the actual substance of the movie, it's embarrassing:

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:18 (twenty years ago)

But the popular conservative reaction is so way out of step with the actual substance of the movie, it's embarrassing

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:27 (twenty years ago)

yeah, what's kinda funny is that there have been many other novels/books dealing witht the same subject matter for like, eons but for some reason this one came along at the right time and had the right promotional push behind it to make it a success.

also, my mom asked me to read an advance reading copy of the da vinci code before it came out, because her bookstore was participating in a huge promotional campaign for it and she wanted my opinion on it. so i had the "privilege" of reading this phenomenon before it became a phenomenon. anyway, one look at the cryptic synopsis on the back screamed to me "jesus bloodline, holy grail yada yada", and lo and behold i was right. it was kinda funny seeing how well the campaign behind the book worked.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:35 (twenty years ago)

I think the Catholic reaction to the book & film rather glosses over the difference between HERESY and APOSTASY. The Da Vinci Code, as a reinterpretation (not rejection) of the life of Christ, seems pretty solidly the former, not so much the latter. And there is no heresy in the Da Vinci Code that didn't originally surface over a thousand years ago -- you'd think the Vatican wouldn't be so bothered.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:45 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, but those pesky Gnostics and Cathars didn't have Ron Howard to direct blockbuster versions of their heresies.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:53 (twenty years ago)

Speaking of Cathars, a much better conspiracy book dealing with conspiracy book dealing with Christian sects' murky history, as well as the history of cinema, is Theodore Roszak's Flicker. I wish they'd film that some day.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:55 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah, I forgot Aronofsky is actually planning to do it:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366452/

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 19:56 (twenty years ago)

I love the Indiana Jones/National Treasure/Davinci Code sort of thing. What would you call this genre? Elements include archeology, secret societies, mystery...

Flicker looks interesting. Any other recommendations?

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:01 (twenty years ago)

It's not really in the same genre, but you might enjoy Preacher the comic that also deals with the modern-day offspring of Jesus, as well as a secret, powerful Christian organization which is planning to bring about the Apocalypse. And it's waayy more heretical and anti-Christian than TDVC.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Actually, at one point I remember reading someone was planning to film Preacher, with Ben Affleck as the lead... I wonder how the Catholic church would've reacted to that?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:07 (twenty years ago)

Umberto Eco is pretty good on those subjects, Fluffy, if you haven't read any of his work yet.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Didn't the Catholic Church get pissed off at Dogma too?

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Actually, at one point I remember reading someone was planning to film Preacher, with Ben Affleck as the lead... I wonder how the Catholic church would've reacted to that?

Presumably they'd say "Wow, they hate 'Preacher' even more than we do!"

― Dan (BEN AFFLECK??????) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:09 (twenty years ago)

wouldn't they ignore it? I think the hoopla about this book & stuff like Harry Potter is b/c both are books that non-readers actually read, thus they seem to pass some sorta threshold in pop ubiquity...

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:09 (twenty years ago)

more like pope ubiquity, amirite?

― Brian Furry (noodle vague), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:11 (twenty years ago)

Well, consídering that Preacher ends with (SPOILERS!!!!) someone shooting God to death because he's a self-righteous bastard, that might raise some eyebrows...

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:12 (twenty years ago)

pope is all around you

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:13 (twenty years ago)

Do people really hate Preacher? I thought it was uneven, and the machismo and homophobia was too much at times, but it had some great moments too.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:14 (twenty years ago)

Didn't the Catholic Church get pissed off at Dogma too?

-- JW (jo...), May 22nd, 2006.

i dunno about the Church itself, but the Catholic League made a huge stink about it

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:20 (twenty years ago)

http://beancounters.blogs.com/daydreams/george_carlin_dogma.jpg

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:22 (twenty years ago)

Umberto Eco is pretty good on those subjects, Fluffy, if you haven't read any of his work yet.

Foucault's Pendulum, y'all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:23 (twenty years ago)

It's funny how the Dogma thread wasn't a diatribe on religious conservatives, though. Guess things are different after 9/11. NEVER FORGET, BUDDY CHRIST.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:23 (twenty years ago)

I think the Catholic reaction to the book & film rather glosses over the difference between HERESY and APOSTASY.

These guys don't know the different, homey...

http://www.eleves.ens.fr/home/tourniai/kra/ratzinger-palpatine.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:26 (twenty years ago)

It's funny how the Dogma thread wasn't a diatribe on religious conservatives, though

except w/ the dogma thread, more folks had actually seen the thing, and were ripping more into it and KS(a much bigger/more ripe target) in general, as opposed to just the reaction to it.

here, most of us haven't/ain't gunna see the flick, but hilariously reactionary op-eds can be enjoyed by all.

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

here, most of us haven't/ain't gunna see the flick

until the WORLD TELEVISION PREMIERE!

watch for thread revivals

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:32 (twenty years ago)

oh horseshit. free broadcast is nothing. the torrent is out there now, are you actually going to watch it? (and no, being high while doing so doesn't count)

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:34 (twenty years ago)

OK you're just pissing me off at this point.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

well, yeah, i gathered as much

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

the torrent is out there now

This is why the other ILXors think you're weird.

WHY DOESN'T BEING HIGH COUNT

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Being high or drunk TOTALLY counts and probably makes the movie better. I don't "torrent" movies, especially not ones I don't particularly care about for fuck's sake. But if it's a Sunday afternoon and it came on TV and it's not football season, I'd watch it and laugh my ass off at it, yes. Hell I might even Netflix it for that very purpose. It's just not exactly "priority." That's X3.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:40 (twenty years ago)

well okay then

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:41 (twenty years ago)

I watched Commando this weekend

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:46 (twenty years ago)

In a double bill with Raw Deal, I hope.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:47 (twenty years ago)

Funny thing about the right's claims of anti-Christian persecution here is that a lot of the DVC's attacks on Catholicism--it's corrupt! it's full of spooky secrets and s&m cults!--are the standard accusations that have been made most loudly and publicly by protestants, not non-Christians.

Up until the fundamentalist rapprochment of the past couple decades, this kind of rhetoric would've just been another chapter in ye olde Christian-on-Christian pissing match, not an outside assault by secular Hollywood types and Zoroastrians or something.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:49 (twenty years ago)

Damn, the thread's already moved on to action movies.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:49 (twenty years ago)

the era when the Arnold quip came into its own

xpost

yeah, that's what i was talking about

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Preacher is excellent. (I think Dan was implying that casting Ben Affleck in Preacher was the equivalent of hating it.) Haven't read Foucault's Pendulum yet. Any others?

Allyzay, if you're wondering why so many threads get hijacked by anti-conservative rhetoric, look no further:

Republican victories have punctured the cultural left’s sense of the historical inevitability of their triumph, and that is at the root of their rage.

I can't speak for the others, but my sense of inevitable triumph has been punctured.

Also, I plan on being high when I watch this movie.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:50 (twenty years ago)

The Jesus-is-mortal thing still would've pissed off conservative protestants, though they'd probably be even more bothered by the suggestion that Big Josh had sex.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:54 (twenty years ago)

I'd definitely recommend Flicker. It has a similar type "searching for clues and solving riddles to uncover something big" type of structure, but it's much more innovative and better written. Though probably have to be a movie enthusiast to get the most out of it, because the clues all relate to (old) films.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah, and From Hell (the comic) deals with similar types of conspiracy stuff, but in that one it's the good ol' Freemasons.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Is there an Allen Moore thread?

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 21:03 (twenty years ago)

I liked the From Hell movie but that's because of a game of inebriants we played....

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 22 May 2006 21:05 (twenty years ago)

I think I'm going to skip this one and watch Brotherhood Of The Wolf again... If I want to see a Catholic Conspiracy movie, it better have random martial arts ass-kicking, a ridiculous monster, and Monica Bellucci.

― LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Monday, 22 May 2006 21:15 (twenty years ago)

BEING HIGH COUNTS. [full disclosure: I was on 1.5g shr00ms when I saw this yesterday; I exerted such effort not to bust out laughing many, many times.]

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Monday, 22 May 2006 21:19 (twenty years ago)

Oh, the Corto Maltese comics are also ripe with these sort of themes: religious mysteries, shadowy sects, hidden truths behind symbols, architecture, art, etc. Fable of Venice is a particularly good read in this regard.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 22 May 2006 21:24 (twenty years ago)

Fluffy Bear,

There are probably dozens of Alan Moore threads in I Love Comics.

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Monday, 22 May 2006 21:50 (twenty years ago)

OK, this really wasn't that bad. Better than National Treasure (no Nic Cage! less cheesy action! Ian McKellen camping it up!), solidly entertaining, and it didn't really get boring until the Big Reveal (that everyone with three working brain cells knew from the start).

Maybe I just liked the scene where Sir Ian drops science on the foundations of modern Christianity too much. Knew it all, still enjoyable.

Sure, it copped out at the end, and basically was afraid of actually offending any Catholics ('the bad guys aren't really Catholic, they're just USING Catholicism...'), and the very end section with Tom Hanks was a laugh... okay, it wasn't very good. But worth $5.

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 22 May 2006 21:58 (twenty years ago)

Weren't the Priory of Scion folks (what with their masks and freaky pagan voyeur coitus) just the bad guys from Eyes Wide Shut?

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 22 May 2006 21:59 (twenty years ago)

haha there's a reference to that in the book actually

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 22:00 (twenty years ago)

milo, elmo, others,

Da Vinci Code: H or S (High or Sober)?

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 22 May 2006 23:07 (twenty years ago)

Foucault's Pendulum, y'all.

i think that book should be given way free with every copy of TDC sold

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 23:29 (twenty years ago)

whoa i did not mean to italicise my whole sentence there

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 23:30 (twenty years ago)

anyway what this movie really needed was a 10 minute flashback sex scene between JC and MM

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 23:34 (twenty years ago)

complete w/cumshot

JC ON Ts

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 May 2006 23:39 (twenty years ago)

Weed would not improve your experience at all, it just isn't weird enough. You'd get bored and distracted.

Drink communion wine every time the pagan symbol for vadge is highlighted, maybe.

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 22 May 2006 23:55 (twenty years ago)

Fluffy: I don't think I could have withstood this movie sober. I wouldn't get drunk, though -- I'd just fall asleep. A bong rip and half a bottle of robitussin might improve the movie, though.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:40 (twenty years ago)

Bloke in work swears there's a bit with a man with a French accent saying "Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once."

Is the Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies in the Louvre?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:44 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/3123917/Opus-Dei-cartoon-and-TV-series-to-boost-image.html

― Kramkoob (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Monday, 6 October 2008 12:57 (seventeen years ago)

what kind of shape would this cartoon take?

― Brosef Stalin (latebloomer), Monday, 6 October 2008 22:05 (seventeen years ago)

Now we know why Berkeley Breathed retired again.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 October 2008 22:08 (seventeen years ago)

This was one of those movies that was the biggest thing in the world for like two weeks, and then was never spoken of again.

― The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 6 October 2008 23:02 (seventeen years ago)

― original dixieland jaas band (Curt1s Stephens), Monday, 6 October 2008 23:04 (seventeen years ago)

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