Terminally-Ill Pets

I'm just worried about knowing how much pain he's in. Kitty's aren't very sharing with their feelings.

I spent the last day of Margot's life with her. I got her off of the street and she'd never been a particularly healthy cat but right before her final illness, she'd been doing quite well. She fag-hagged out at her last Christmas party, happily trotting from gay man's lap to the next gay man's lap. Suddenly, in February, instead of her ususal prolific vomiting when she got ill, I awoke one morning to find that she was incontinent, not so much shitting herself, as leaking feces. She could barely walk and while receptive to petting, otherwise listless. I cleaned her off and wrapped her in a towel, called my gf and then the vet and spent the day next to her. She lay in the wintry sun on the table in the bay window of our living room, barely able to lift her head but purring when caressed.

Naively, I still held out some hope that she might pull through but the nurses at the vet's office did not and they were talking about putting her down. To go from resolution and hope in the face of illness to resignation and dutifulness so fast was heart-wrenching. When the vet finally checked her out, her vitals were already fading. She'd slept in my arms almost every night for nine years and I had rescued her off of the street so I couldn't abandon her at the end and I held her in my arms one last time and pet her while they administered the lethal shot and when she was dead, I went outside, politely refusing the shot of brandy they kindly offered, and went to the nearby corner of Washinton and Steiner, sat upon the sidewalk watching the sun set over Alta Plaza park and wept bitter tears.

A week later we got Ava from the pound.

To go from resolution and hope in the face of illness to resignation and dutifulness so fast was heart-wrenching.

I know what this is like. When Q-tip's sister, Bengal, passed away nearly two years it was relatively sudden. We came home to find her paralyzed and as we sat in the emergency vet room I kept thinking they were going to fix her. When the doctor said we should put her down it was like my heart turned to a brick and dropped to the floor. We didn't put her down in the end. They said it was doubtful she was in pain but just wouldn't last. She made it two more days.

I'm not looking forward to QTip's end but at least we have some time together. I just worry about doing everything I can for him in the meantime. He still seems to have an appetitie (cries for food) but when we put the food in front of him, he doesn't eat much. This worries me. Also he's been breathing strange and sneezing a lot. I think the tumor's starting to press on his nasal cavaties.

Yesterday I searched around for some vet oncologists but figured that route wasn't worth the effort.

I guess it depends on where the tumor is. We paid about $500 to have his leg tumor removed, and he really appreciated it.

My gf and I talked about this at length and decided that we're never going to put any cat of ours through any medical procedure that's too involved and especially not chemo. They can't understand what's going on, you can't talk them into getting on board, and, in the end, the success rates aren't great. Better to let them live their last days with some dignity and then when the pain or other quality of life issues get overwhelming, put them down.

I've been through the terminally-ill pet routine more than I'd ever wish on anyone - I've lost five this year and will lose two more before the winter holidays.

Some ideas, though, that might help you.

Treatment:
- Have you talked with your vet about de-bulking the tumor? This won't stop the growth, as there's no way to get clean margins, but de-bulking (removing some of the tissue) can buy you more time with your animal.
- Have you looked at Prednisolone treatment? It's been used with squamous cell carcinomas in hedgehogs with interesting results - tumor growth seems to be slowed and it also seems to increase appetite.
- Have you talked with your vet about pain management/control? There are some good meds. now available for pain in animals and while some have side-effects, others seem to blunt the edge of the pain and allow for longer "normal" behavior.

Euthenasia

Euthenasia:
- Talk with your vet about this BEFORE the time gets near. Find out if you can be with your animal during the whole procedure (finding the vein, inserting the catheter, etc.) or if they take the animal "in the back" for the process. I'd strongly encourage you to arrange to be with your cat during the process - they need your reassurance and you need to know that you didn't abandon them.

- Actually, you need to find out how they prefer to euthanize - some do direct heart injections, some gas the animal first ... find out your options.

- Make payment arrangements ahead of time - My otherwise wonderful vet has a practice of billing for the euthenasia after the fact; there's nothing worse than getting the bill a week later - brings on a whole new flood of grief. I have a standard "euthenasia" credit on my account so that this doesn't happen in the future.

- Discuss and make arrangements for the animal's body after they're gone - do you have the space/place to bury them? Want to go with a pet cemetary? Cremation? If cremation, private/individual or group? Can they/do they offer freezer storage facilities until you've found a place to bury the remains?

For now:
- Take photos and make lots of memories.
- Keep Q-Tip warm and clean and surround him with familiar things.
- Offer treats to stimulate his appetite - there's something called "Feline Rebound" that might help him keep up his weight. Also, baby food and Whiska's "Pate" tends to be loved by lots of ailing cats.

They did that with Margot but I was grateful 'cause right when she passed I was in mood whatsover to talk to anyone about anything.

Anyway, please know that you're not alone - it's horrible to have to watch a beloved companion as they slip away and the fear of knowing/ not knowing when to let them go is hell.

The one thing that I do know is that Q-Tip will let you know when he's ready to die. That sounds weird, but it's true - all of my animals have found ways to let me know - their eyes lost their sparkle - it's like their soul has already left their body. Be with Q-Tip and surround him with love and pay attention to him - and you will know the right decision when the time comes.

If you ever want to talk or vent, just drop me an email -

Laura and the Critters
Hedgehogs: Miss Molly D; Miss Emma Rose; Miss Wren Robin; Miss Penny; Missy Prissy; Mister Ollie; Miss Fiona; Little Mister Mogget
Rabbits: Toby Bunny; Annie Girl; Opal the Menace; Wee Little Willie Boy
Cats: Mr. Aristotle; Ella-Bella
And various assorted small animals and fosters

They did that with Margot but I was grateful 'cause right when she passed I was in mood whatsover to talk to anyone about anything.

Yep, I can certainly understand that - I think it's a no-win situation, as they don't want to be pestering you about the money at that moment (and it's not what you want to be thinking about) and yet they still need to charge for their services. Anyway, that's why I've made arrangements for the payment to just sit on my account (of course, I'm at my vet's at least twice a week with all of the critters and so we've a rather unique set-up).

(Er, I'm assuming that the "Potteresque" is in reference to Beatrix and not Harry.)

Besides the obvious behavior of crying out/making "I'm hurting" noises, when moving or still or when you touch them, additional signs of pain include:

- Marked decrease in appetite and/or thirst
- Little or no interest in favorite foods, toys, playtime, etc.
- General lethargy and dis-interest in surroundings
- Abnormal grumpy/snappy behavior (clawing you when you pet them, fighting with other animals that they normally get along with, etc.)
- Changes in sleeping (sleeping a lot more or a lot less)
- Changes in sleeping location/position
- Not staying still for long/restlessness/inability to find a comfortable resting position
- Changes in how the cat moves around (stiff, tentative, etc.)
- Glazed-over eyes
- Changes in litterbox habits (not making it to the box, not even trying to make it to the box, etc.)
- Decrease in self-grooming behaviors
- Change in urine/feces such as amount, consistency, odor, color, etc.
- Changes in appearance such as matted or dull fur, fur loss, weight loss, etc.

Talk with your vet/take your cat in for an assessment - sometimes we human caretakers are too emotionally close and can't see when our pets are in pain ... and, sometimes, we think that they're miserable or ill or in pain and there's nothing wrong with them.

Sadly, purring is not an indicator of comfort in cats -- cats will purr to calm themselves down when they're suffering.

Thanks Laura (and hi!) that's exactly the type of info I was hoping someone could share.

The vet's already recommended predinsone but we were kind of waiting for him to start being more uncomfortable though. I might take him in next week and request that because his face is becoming more and more swollen. I hate giving him pills though (b/c he hates it) hopefully there will be another way to administer it. Haven't heard of the debulking but will ask the Dr. about it.

The past couple of days he's been doing this weird thing of hissing for no apparant reason or shaking his head with an irritated meow. I think it's the tumor bothering him. He still wants to be fed but walks away without eating much which worries me. Meanwhile I'm not sleeping for shit b/c the slightest noise and I'm bolt upright, worried something's wrong with him.

I'll keep in mind the stuff about euthensia. Haven't done that before but I did have my last kitty cremated when she passed.

We're sort of in limbo ourselves waiting to hear about our cat Corduroy who is about the same age as your cat (14 1/2) and just had a mass of tissue removed from his stomach that was probably a tumour. He's been at the vets' since Sunday and is apparently doing quite well but if it is a lymphoma (as they suspect) he probably won't last more than a few months. We're just waiting for the results of the biopsy now.

I'm home today b/c I haven't slept much lately and Q-tip seems to be getting wrose. Going to try and get him in this Sat.

I'm starting to think he may not make it to xmas. :(

The left side of his face is extrememly swollen with that eye nearly completely shut and a permanent black stain of discharge down his face. Bloody drool is constant and last night he started to bleed from his nose. My boyfriend told me it might be time but I said he was wrong b/c QTip was still eating and not acting strange towards us.

In the middle of the night I went to the rest room and found him sleeping on the bathmat, strange(he usually won't even walk on rugs/carpets). Picked him and sat with him in my room but he definitely seemed uncomformtable and didn't purr like he usually does when I hold him. :(

Eventually she was taken in for a scan (she was gone all day which caused mums other dog to stop eating and pine all day) and the results don't look good.

The vet says there is no healthy tissue left and there looks as if there may be tumours in there too.

She's now on a low fat low protein diet consisting mostly of white foods - which excited her at first but now the novelty has worn off.

I'm constantly googling trying to find new suitable foods, miracle cures. The vet says the liver may start to heal with the proper care, but there's always the worry of what these shadows are.

Good luck to all other sick pet owners, it's a difficult thing to cope with.

Our cat isn't too happy about taking steroids etc either, it takes us both to give him them, my wife holds him and I drop the pills down his throat and squirt a bit of water in his mouth to make him swallow, it's not fun but we give him treats straight after and he soon gets over it. We've just ordered some beef & chicken flavour capsules you can put the pills in to make them more palatable. I dunno if that will help because Corduroy is pretty wise to our tricks, he can suss straight away if something has medicine in it.

We've just started him on chemo, after much to-ing and fro-ing, he had a life expectancy of 1-2 months if we didn't do it, so we thought it was worth a shot, as he isn't doing too badly at the moment really. The steroids & chemo are helping a lot, he was painfully thin from all the diarrhoea and vomiting but now he's putting weight back on, the diarrhoea has gone and he's only sick every couple of days. Still he has an aggressive T cell lymphoma which means even with chemo he only has a life expectancy of 6-9 months. We're just holding out for the slight chance he'll go into remission.

It probably doesn't matter anyway b/c I don't think he has much longer.

In reading about your little man's blood loss, I find myself wondering if you might need to be supplementing his food with something high in iron to keep Q-Tip from getting anemic. Ask you vet about this as I know that there are some cat foods specifically formulated for anemia - you might also want to look at the Gerber 2nd Stage baby foods, meat - look at the beef option.

I don't know if this'll help or not, but below is an article about some of the factors to consider when making the decision about when "it's time" to help your pet make that final trip.

My little Emma Rose'll be going in for her final vet visit next week, I fear - her time's come and I know that rationally: it's convincing my heart that it's okay to let her go that I'm struggling with.

Please know, Sam, that you and Q-Tip are in my thoughts and that you're both surrounded with warm, loving energies. Laura

The Article:

Quality of Life Scale Helps Make Final Call
There is a real need for assessing various levels of quality of life for aging, ailing and terminally ill pets.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By Alice Villalobos, DVM
For Veterinary Practice News

There is a real need for assessing various levels of quality of life for aging, ailing and terminally ill pets.

Most geriatric animals have one or more abnormal conditions that appear in their senior years and these conditions generally worsen with time. One third of senior pets are obese. Additionally, half of our nation’s companion animals over the age of 10 become burdened with cancer and its related treatment issues.

Veterinarians are frequently asked, “When is the right time to euthanize my beloved pet? How will I know?”

A quality of life scale may help everyone, especially those in denial, to look at difficult-to-face issues. Caretakers can use this itemized scale to ask themselves if they are able to provide enough help to maintain an ailing pet in a humane way.

Every animal has certain needs that should be recognized and respected.

If we can meet these basic needs at a satisfactory level for our ailing companion animals, then we are justified in preserving the life of the ill pet during its decline.

The goal in setting up the Quality of Life Scale is to provide a guideline so that pet owners can maintain a rewarding relationship that nurtures the human-animal bond.

This scale alleviates owners’ feelings of guilt and engenders the support of the veterinary team to actively help in the care and decision making for end-of-life, or “pawspice,” patients.

It is up to the veterinary profession and to the pet’s caretaker to design an end-of-life pet hospice program that encounters each factor and deals with it openly and honestly. We canuse a quality of life scale from one to 10. Ten is the best.

This list, called “HHHHHMM,” stands for: hurt, hunger, hydration, hygiene, happiness, mobility and more good days than bad days. A score above five on most of these issues is acceptable in maintaining an end-of-life program. Each pet’s situation needs an individual, kind and supportive approach.

The HHHHHMM Scale

Hurt: 1-10
Adequate pain control is first and foremost on the scale. This includes the pet’s ability to breathe properly. Most people do not realize that not being able to breathe is ranked at the top of the pain scale.

Some families are willing to provide oxygen therapy at home for their ailing pets and the veterinarian can prescribe it through a medical supply house. Pain control may include oral, transdermal and injectable medications.

Hunger: 1-10
If a pet is not receiving adequate nutrition willingly, by hand or force feeding, then consider placing a feeding tube especially for cats.

Malnutrition develops quickly in sick animals when the caretaker is not educated. Instruct owners to use blended or liquid diets to help their best friend maintain proper nutritional and caloric intake.

Hydration: 1-10
Subcutaneous fluids are a wonderful way to supplement the fluid intake of ailing pets. It may take a few sessions for a pet owner to get the hang of this helpful procedure.

Hygiene: 1-10
Can the pet be kept brushed and cleaned? Is the coat matted? Is the pet situated properly so that it won’t have to lie in its own waste after eliminations? Pets, especially cats with oral cancer, can’t keep themselves clean, so they get demoralized quickly.

The odor associated with necrotic oral tumors can be offensive and cause social rejection by family members. Antibiotics help reduce foul-smelling infections and using a sponge dampened with a very dilute solution of lemon juice and hydrogen peroxide (to mimic the gentle stroking action of a “mother tongue” on the face, paws and legs) helps soothe and clean cats’ fur. Dogs enjoy this, too.

Happiness: 1-10
Is the pet able to experience any joy or mental stimulation? It is easy to see that our pets communicate with their eyes. They know what is going on.

Is the ailing pet willing to interact with the family and be responsive to things going on around him? Is the aging cat able to purr and enjoy being on the bed or in one’s lap? Is there a response to a bit of catnip? Can the cat bat at toys or look at and follow a laser light?

Can the ailing pet enjoy the upbeat greetings and petting of loving family members? Can the pet’s bed be moved close to the family’s activities and not left in an isolated or neglected area? Is the pet depressed, lonely, anxious, bored or afraid?

Mobility: 1-10
Ask if the pet is able to move around on its own or with help in order to satisfy its desires. Does the pet feel like going out for a walk? Is the pet showing central nervous system problems, seizures or stumbling?

Can the pet be taken outdoors or helped into the litter box to eliminate with assistance? Will a harness, sling or a cart be helpful? Is medication helping?

The answer to the mobility question has variable scenarios. I have met some utilitarian pet owners who are too rigid in the mobility area.

For instance, they regretfully but willingly sacrifice their pet’s life rather than elect amputation of a limb. Some pet owners have the honest yet teleological feeling that amputation is mutilation and not fair to the pet. Instead, they allow the pet to bear a painful limb for months before euthanasia.

Then there are cases like Krash, a 12-year-old, male, 90-pound, golden retriever, in Orange County, Calif.

Krash’s mobility was already borderline when he entered our pawspice program with osteosarcoma of his left distal radius. His history precluded amputation because of severe degenerative joint disease, degenerative myelitis, (some dogs have had previous bilateral knee surgery) and hip dysplasia. Krash wears a splint to offset a pathological fracture.

The mobility scale can be variable from 1 to 10. The need for mobility seems dependent on the species and breed. Cats and small lap dogs can and do enjoy life with much less mobility than large and giant-breed dogs.

If the pet is compromised and is only able to lie in bed, is there a schedule to change the position of the pet and rotate the body as often as every two hours?

Atelectasis and decubital ulcers must be avoided. The nursing care of large immobile dogs is very demanding.

Is the bedding material soft enough? Can an egg crate mattress be used and set up properly to avoid decubital ulcers? Is there a role for a pet mobility cart or an Evans standing cart?

These items really make a difference in the quality of life for the pet that has limited mobility yet is alert and responsive.

More Good Days Than Bad: 1-10
When there are too many bad days in a row or if the pet seems to be “turned off” to life, quality of life is compromised.

Bad days are filled with undesirable experiences such as vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, frustration, seizures, etc. Bad days could be from profound weakness caused by anemia or from the discomfort caused by an obstruction or a large, inoperable tumor in the abdomen.

This was the situation with my own dear Australian shepherd, Alfie, who had a huge undifferentiated mass rapidly overtake his liver.

If the two-way exchange needed to communicate and maintain a healthy human-animal bond is just not there, the pet owner must be gently told that the end may be near.

It is very difficult for families to make the final decision to end a beloved pet’s life with euthanasia. This is usually avoided when euthanasia is against the pet owner’s religious beliefs.

A decision to euthanize can be made more clear to clients if the standard scale for quality of life is set ahead of time and re-evaluated every couple of weeks or every few days as required.

If the pet is slowly passing on with a peaceful tranquility, it may be a satisfactory situation. People often want their pet to pass on naturally at home in their arms or in their own bed. That is OK as long as the pet is just weakening steadily and not suffering to death.

Home euthanasia with a kindly house call veterinarian may be elected.

Hopefully, the concept of a scale for quality of life and our professional guidance can help relieve the angst and regret about a beloved pet’s death.

Alice Villalobos, DVM, owns Animal Oncology Consultation Service in Woodland Hills, Calif. She received the 1999 Bustad Companion Animal Veterinarian Award and is associated with VCA Clarmar and Coast animal hospitals in Torrance and Hermosa Beach, Calif.

This article first appeared in the September 2004 issue of Veterinary Practice News.

What is the story with your Emma?

I went home from work early yesterday and stayed home this morning to be with Q-Tip. He seems better. He was more responsive last night and ate some of his medicine-food this morning. I bought him all kinds of different wet foods last night (and some baby food) and am just going to keep trying everything to see what he likes most. Tonight I'm also going to set up some sort of system with G. so I can monitor exactly how much he's eating.

re: blood - it's more blood-tinged mucus and salvia. he's sneezing more now and I figure the tumor is either compressing/irritating his nasal passage or might have caused a respiratory infection. Do you think it's safe/worth it to crush up vitamins for him?

His bad days aren't outnumbering his good so far so that gives me hope. I just don't want to blind myself to reality if he starts turning bad. And those bad days usually leave me numb with depression.

I think I'm going to take some vacation days here soon so I can just chill with him.

This is what I use to bribe my cat to behave while I hydrate him.

god, ditto. :-(

He has an agressive lymphoma and his stomach. He'd been on chemo for a couple of months but to no effect, and this week has gone drastically downhill. He's been vomiting a lot and the last couple of days has lost control of his bowels as well, which isn't pleasant as I'm sure you can imagine.

I was really hoping he'd survive to see his 15th birthday, stupid really as what do cats know about birthdays. At least the vet's coming out to our flat to do it so we don't have to put him through going to the vet.

This is not an easy thing to endure but is a sad fact of life for those who love and take good care of pets.

Give him lots of love in the meantime and know you've given him a good life.

All the medication was making him eat, but he never put on weight, every time we took him in for chemo shots he'd lost weight.

He's part siamese, which is probably what doomed him - this type of cancer is much more prevalent in siamese cats compared to other breeds.

Thanks for the kind words, this is hitting me quite hard, even though he's only been my cat for a few years.

(I shouldn't have clicked in this thread at all really, as I'm all tearful again now. My cat Pepsi died yesterday at the vet's and I'm missing him very much)

I know it's no consolation, but you have done everything you can for Cord. He'll be at peace now, and you'll always have your memories of him to look back on fondly.

Losing your pet is definitely the worst part of loving them. I tell myself the pain is worth all the good you get out of their lives but it's hard. I still miss QTip terribly and it's been over a month since he passed. the new kitty is nice but it will take time for us to bond.

I don't know how we're going to get through tomorrow. Oh yeah, whisky, that was it.

My sympathies, Colonel.

looks like we'll have to put our kitty to sleep on Saturday. I'm dreading it. the house is going to feel so empty.

sorry to hear that. I've done this twice in the past few years. the first time it was agonizing, the second time it was very matter-of-fact. I held on to both animals for ages, paid through the nose on medical treatments...I won't do that again. at least until I'm very old and lonely.

:(

Had to put down my 22yo cat a couple years ago after lengthy illness(es), but it was only about 4 months before I was ready to get another one. Too bad he turned out to be a pain in the ass and not very cuddly, but we're finding common ground.

part of me want to just put off the whole thing... I start making deals w/myself about how I could really spoil the cat for just one more week, etc., but I know I'm being selfish. she's 17 years old and has had a great life.

There's no way around it. You're going to feel like absolute hell for a few days, but on the other side of that you'll just remember all the good things.

Make sure you get a couple minutes of her on video just so you can go back and watch it when the need arises.

thanks. video is a really good idea.

My cat has a cancer of some lymphatic variety, sounds a bit like what Colonel's cat went thru up thread (but without any tumours, just the illness). She's on steroid shots and i occasionally give her zantac and a med for diaorhhea. At this point her only real symptom is a massive loss of weight and her acting out horribly - shes always cranky, complaining she's hungry, and wees/poos all over the rug which she NEVER did before all this (she was a meticulous cat). The shots do seem to help but its costly to get them every few weeks, ive had to belay them the last little while, thankfully to no seeming ill effect on poor Yampy. But, I worry that she's in more pain/misery than I can tell and I dunno what to do. Expensive treatments/surgery simply arent an option. I just dont have that sort of money. SIgh.

I can relate, Trayce. It gets so expensive to maintain god knows what sort of life quality. I'm glad that the shots are helping, though.

Our appointment is at 9 am tomorrow and I just might have to drink myself asleep. :(

at some point trayce, your cat will probably just not get up and won't eat, and then you'll know it's time. frankly, if they're still walking around and eating, and it isn't costing you an arm and a leg, I don't don't think it's time to put them down, unless they are in pain.

Yeah, we knew it was time when she wouldn't eat anymore and couldn't poop and we had to give her fluids intravenously. That was a bad time for people and kitty alike.

OK, so I need some advice here. Keep in mind as I type all this out that, at the age of 41, I have only once experienced the death of a pet, and that was when one of our cats accidentally succumbed to cardiomyopathy while under anesthesia for a dental cleaning. I wasn't around when it happened. Whatever ultimately happens here is going to be rough for me.

Our oldest cat, Marble, is 19 years old. (I've mentioned her on here before.) We've had her since about 6 months after we got married. She currently suffers from both hyperthryoid, for which we give her methimazole twice daily; and feline kidney disease, for which she is not medicated but gets subcutaneous fluids every other day. Balancing these two things is tricky, because helping the thyroid hurts the kidneys and vice-versa. Our vet has a range of acceptable values for her various hormones and enzymes and we work to keep everything in that range. My wife and I both know that we're in end-of-life-care territory but don't want to jump the gun, so to speak.

Up until recently, she was hungry almost all the time. She was meowing constantly to be fed, and we were getting up and giving her wet food 2-3 times during the night, every night. The last few days she's acted as if she's hungry, but hasn't really eaten much, although she's drinking a lot. The past few weeks, giving her her fluids has been a real struggle. She's never much cared for them but at least would be relatively patient. What started off as 50ml once a week when first diagnosed turned into 100ml, then 100ml 2x/week, then 125ml 3x/week. Now she hides from us when she knows it's time to get fluids, and just getting her to sit still for 100ml is a struggle -- she begins squirming and trying to get away barely halfway through. 125ml is completely out of the question.

She's still about as active as you'd expect for a 19-year-old cat, although she climbs more than jumps on things. She does eat, but had this sudden appetite dropoff. She's eliminating urine regularly, and there's been no blood in it nor has it been concentrated or terribly smelly, so her kidneys are doing something. We saw her use the litterbox to poop this morning. Mostly she sleeps. (I know, cats, amirite?)I don't get the impression that she's suffering or in regular pain, but she REALLY doesn't want these fluids.

Obviously she's not aware as such that she's ill, and can't make an informed decision about treatment. But trying to squirm away from the needle such that getting the bare minimum dose in her is increasingly difficult seems a lot like "refusing treatment." (And stopping treatment for kidney disease means an extremely painful demise.) We're going to get her blood work done by the vet and see how everything's performing, but aside from that we're both really at a loss.

My wife *has* lost a pet, a dear cat that got cancer which manifested as facial and mouth tumors, and she had to have him euthanized. If she has to do that again, she's going to be inconsolable for a long time. And we've both agreed that, unless Marble is in obvious pain and suffering, we will not just euthanize her because she's old and sick. So we're at kind of an impasse as to what to do; and all the vet can do is tell us whether her kidneys and thyroid are still performing acceptably. He can't answer the real questions we have: "Is she suffering right now?", "How bad/how protracted would it be if we stopped treating her?" and "What should we do?"

Advice? Thoughts? Do we just keep treating as we've been and hold on to see if she'll ultimately pass in her sleep? Stop treating her and ask if there's pain meds we can give her? What would you do?

I mean just

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1092/991145268_f8aaf5151a.jpg

Aw, was sweet cute little cat.

As someone who just had to put his 18 year old cat down two weeks ago (also had thyroid problems), it sucks, but I'm glad she's no longer suffering.

Really, the only thing you can do is review the Quality of Life Scale, and make the best informed decision from there.

http://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/vet-practice-news-columns/bond-beyond/quality-of-life-scale.aspx

We knew when it was time, and most likely, you will, too. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

Thanks for that link, Darin, although it's making me ;_;

review the Quality of Life Scale

^^^

If she has to do that again, she's going to be inconsolable for a long time. To each their own, but I very consciously decided years ago that my choices about my pets (who largely cannot make them for themselves) were not going to be about me.

Also, Phil, hugs. This shit is hard.

so hard. stay strong phil. your cat is v fortunate to have such a loving family.

my 16-year-old family cat is dying.

I found a bony growth on the right side of her jaw about a month ago. at the time I brought her to our local vet and then to an emergency clinic, where they gave her IV fluids (she was severely dehydrated) and told me they'd have to anesthetize her to biopsy the growth, which is almost certainly bone cancer. I wanted to at least get a diagnosis, but I have no money and my dad (who my cat lives with) wasn't willing to pay for it.

I hate myself for waiting another month to take her to the vet again. I took her there today because she's been drinking a ton of water, has been lying on the floor and sulking in general, and seemed to be losing a lot of weight. she's down to less than 7 pounds now (a good ⅓ of a pound less than she was a month ago. but she weighed 11 pounds a year ago) and it's likely that her kidneys are failing, although I won't know for sure until I get her blood work results tomorrow.

I'm willing to give her subcutaneous fluid injections if that's what it takes to keep her healthy for a little while longer, although the way the tumor is progressing, it doesn't seem like there'll be much time. it's depressing that injections + painkillers are probably all I can do for her now, and I just keep wondering how much more the doctor could have done (although surgery and radiation are risky in a cat of her age) if I'd been more vigilant a month ago.

I'm just venting I guess. it sucks when money and family differences are issue when you're trying to help someone you care for. I'm scared that my cat is in a lot of pain right now and want to keep her happy as long as she's up and about and eating, but I'm afraid my dad just wants to get it over with and have her euthanized at the next sign of serious trauma. as long as what I'm doing is keeping her healthy and pain-free, then I think it's worth the effort, and I love her too much not to deny her that much at least.

fully sympathise with your situation...

we lost our kitty two weeks ago - she'd had kidney problems for a few years, but it was under control.. After we found a lump on her breast she had surgery to remove the cancer, she was recovering well, but then suddenly took a turn for the worse.. The vet thinks the kidney problem (her blood looked pretty good before the op), was accellerated by the anaesthetic - which is rare, but a risk..

Weight loss and increased drinking is a sure sign of kidney problems... See how the blood tests are and take it from there....

good luck...

thanks, Jack, and sorry for your loss. it's hard to care for a pet (or human) with more than one serious health issue: if you treat one, you risk prolonging or worsening another. it sounds like you made wise choices but couldn't avoid all possible risks. but a sad, untimely end doesn't cancel out the healthy years you added to her life, so hopefully that's some comfort.

I'm not hopeful about the results turn out, but I'll try to as get as much useful info as possible from the vet before I decide what to do.

I've mentioned our oldest cat Marble on this thread, and her ongoing kidney and thyroid problems that we treat regularly. Lately, she's also had tooth and mouth sensitivity, which has interfered with her eating. She's down to 4 lbs 14 oz, and we are expecting blood work results for her on Monday that in suspect are going to show that we've reached a crisis point with the kidneys.

To make matters worse, our 16 year old calico, Chestnut, has had health problems since at least last fall, in which she was vomiting copiously on a regular basis, usually projectile vomiting in nearly unbelievable amounts. We've taken her in several times, and they've recommended a variety of treatments - hydration, antinauseal medication, appetite stimulants, etc. This last week, though, she started becoming lethargic and unfocused, and refusing all food and water. We took her in Wednesday and during the exam, when the vet checked her small intestine, she threw up a quantity of brownish bile through her mouth and nose. They gave her 300cc of sub-q fluids plus a painkiller/antibiotic, and we took her home to see if she would improve. She continued to periodically burp up bile, and she still refused to eat, or drink. She showed no reactions to anything, including catnip, and just lay there staing at nothing.

Early this morning she simply laid down in her litter box. We took her back to the vet, and after another abdominal exam, the vet reported that her small and large intestines had both become thickened and ropy. His diagnosis is advanced intestinal lymphoma. No food is getting into her intestine from the stomach, and she's not absorbing any nutrients. There's no recommended treatment.

We asked to take her home for the weekend, and he hydrated her with 200cc of fluid and gave her a steroid shot to temporarily reduce the inflammation so she can be in less pain and maybe eat and drink a bit. We're taking her in Monday to have her euthanized, because we will not have her suffer and starve to death or die of dehydration.

How this all came to a head so quickly with both of them, we have no idea. Our fucking 20th wedding anniversary is Wednesday, and our gift might be two dead cats. Fuck. Fuck the fucking universe.

That sucks. I had two cats die on me a few years ago, one had to be put down. The decision was agonizing, I gave her one last weekend. The vet was a jerk, she wanted $1000 bucks up front and implied I couldn't or wouldn't pay like I was some derelict. All the while I was crying about my poor cat. I spent one last weekend with her and had her put to sleep by my dad's vet, who charged half the price.

The other one just died in her sleep, little pain or illness. I still miss her.

I'm sitting here now just spending what time I can with her while my wife is showering. She's so fragile and tiny and inactive. I'm 42 and I've never had to do this with a pet before. I just feel like I'm going to throw up or die of a broken heart. I know she's suffering, I know she's in pain and doesn't understand why, but motherfuck. I hate this. I want to go on Monday and find out it's a huge mistake. I think about all the times I got peeved because she threw up on the couch or the bed, and I think I'd light them both on fire right now if it would give me one more day with her.

I can hear my wife sobbing uncontrollably in the shower upstairs. We're trying to be strong for each other, but apart it's awful.

We've decided that they both are going to have to go on Monday. Marble's health just went completely off a cliff. We had hoped that the sublingual painkiller the doctor gave us to hopefully help her eat would work, but even giving it to her is complete agony. She's in pain, and experiencing renal failure, and can't eat or drink at all. The fact that we got some fluids in her yesterday is the only thing sustaining her. We have to ease her suffering. After 20 years, we have to let her go.

Chestnut is not much better. She's clearly in pain. The predisone shot she got to reduce intestinal imflammation has enabled her to eat and drink a little this weekend, but a little while ago she threw it all up again because it can't get out of her stomach, and it smelled like fecal matter. She just wants to be comforted as much as possible. I did some research into feline intestinal lymphoma, and frankly the fact that we've had this much time with her since she first become (in hindsight) symptomatic is remarkable.

Please, please, please somebody tell me that I can get through tomorrow. That I can say goodbye to both of them. That my beliefs about the universe are 100% wrong. That I'm not going to lose my mind or permanently break my heart. Please.

You'll be ok once you realise you did the right thing.

I recently told my sister and her husband that were holding on to their 17 year old dog (who I love to bits) which was blind, couldn't walk and I found whining in his basket sat in shit because he couldn't get out, that it was better to take him to the vets and let him go rather than keep him around for their own reasons. It's not an easy decision, but if they're suffering, it's the right one.

Phil... I totally know what you are going through ... we went through a similar situation with one of our cats 6 weeks ago...

We made the hard decision to let her go based on the vets advice..... and had to put our feelings of wanting to hold on to her to one side to make the the right decision for her...

....oh and the feelings of guilt about getting upset with them coz they threw up when they were ill and you didn't know it is normal - we had that too..

Just try to make them comfortable and content as much as possible for the time you have left with them...

phil, you gave your cats a life-time of love and care. nothing lasts forever, and as horrible and heartbreaking as it is to say goodbye, you now have the chance to offer two new cats that some wonderful life - 2 cats who might otherwise live out short and loveless lives in a shelter.

as insensitive as it can be to suggest someone 'replace' their beloved pet with another one, i think it can also be really helpful. you obviously have a big heart and a lot of love to give to future pets, and there are so many out there who need that.

We actually do have two other cats, both rescues. One a male orange tabby that we adopted from a rescue organization for which we used to volunteer, the other a female gray tabby that we discovered as a kitten innards storm drain in our old parking lot and rescued ourselves. They have no idea about the burden of love and comfort that's about to fall on them.

Right now we're just trying to keep Marble and Chestnut content and comfortable and enjoy our final hours with them. Marble is especially hard because she's now experiencing end-stage kidney failure, and she's clearly starving, thirsty and in pain. We are just doing the best we can for them. I keep telling her that tomorrow morning she can rest forever. :(

My poor kitteh is still going somehow... it turns out she has stomach cancer/tumour, which has enlarged a bit in the last 3-4 months. She can still eat and drink fine, particularly while she has a steroid shot in her system, but it only lasts 2 months now. Last week or 2 she was pretty unwell, vomting and the runs mutiple times a day, so constantly hungry as a result. I guess if the shots dont settle her down like they usually do I'll have to start thinking about when her time is due. She seems mostly ok - listeless and likes curling up on me/sleeping a lot but she's old anyway so its so hard to tell! I can see she isnt in active pain or difficulty beyond regular old age and weakness from her digestive issues though.

But she weighs less than 3kg now :( She;s all bones :(

the cat that I grew up with just died last Monday. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, Phil. hopefully it's a small comfort to know that you've done your research, that you've sought out the best possible treatment, and that you've decided to let your cats go not because they've become an inconvenience to you but because they're suffering in a way that (unfortunately) only death can alleviate. give them lots of love between now and tomorrow and know that there are a lot of people here who wish you all the best.

oh phil dag

the last time I saw my cat (a week before last Saturday) there was blood in her urine (probably due to her failing kidneys) and she was bleeding a little from her mouth because the bone tumor on her jaw had created an abscess. I debated taking her to the emergency clinic, but my dad (who she lived with) convinced me it wasn't urgent, and I decided to let her rest until her regular vet returned on Monday. I gave her subcutaneous fluids and painkillers and hoped for the best, but by Sunday night her face wound had turned black and septic; she was messing uncontrollably and was generally in agony. my dad brought her to the vet to be euthanized on Monday morning. I wasn't around to comfort her at the end and didn't even hear about it for hours afterward. the timing was probably right, but I'll always regret not being there til the end and not being able to spare her those last few hours of suffering.

I feel especially selfish because part of the reason I didn't take her to the clinic was that I was feeling somewhat sick and tired myself. in retrospect I see how selfish I was to neglect a deathly-ill cat just because I had a little cold. and I spent Sunday night opening birthday presents and going out to dinner, not knowing that Tiger was in huge distress and had less than a day to live. maybe I'll feel less guilty in time (it helps to know that my dad sat up with her all night & tried to keep her comfortable) but for now it's pretty hard to bear.

After a very sleepless night, in which they both suffered a great deal more agitation and pain than I would like to have seen, we were able to get them both to take a little food and water this morning. It seemed to help them a little, but they were still both clearly in pain. My sister, and my mother's boyfriend, came over to go to the vet with us for support. The staff there was extremely compassionate and helpful. We got a little room in which we let them out of their carriers, and they both peaked in terms of agitation -- they were in an unfamiliar place and wanted out, out, out. The doctor came in and talked through everything with us, and then administered a sedative to each cat. They calmed down instantly, and became so quiet and still. I cried as if I were an infant again, but I knew that, for the first time in MONTHS, they were not in any pain at all. No hunger, no unquenchable thirst, no obstructed or inflamed bowel, no vomiting, no subcutaneous fluid needle, no nothing. They were relaxed and peaceful, and my wife and I held them and stroked them and told them how much we loved them and how glad we were for so many years with them.

Because the injection must be administered by a vet and not a tech, we had to do them consecutively. Marble went first. We both held her close and told her it was OK for her to go and be at rest. She never even flinched when he put the needle in, and she passed so, so quietly. I thanked her for being such a good girl for so long. I know her suffering is finally over. She gave it one hell of a fight, and I like to think we bought her at least an extra year with all the hyperthyroid meds and kidney treatments.

Afterwards, we hugged Chestnut and again told her how much we loved her. We both told her how sorry we were that it came to this so quickly, but that we couldn't make her suffer through painful chemo treatments that might only buy her a few more weeks. (As it was her pain was near-constant last night. We were able to feed and water her some on Sunday but it all came back up eventually, mixed with and smelling of fecal matter.) We laid her down next to Marble, and as the doctor administered the IV, she sought out my wife's eyes. The only thing I can describe is that she looked fulfilled. She was with her Mommy, and she had finally stopped hurting, and she just looked so glad and relieved. My wife held her head as she passed.

We spent a little more time holding them afterwards, then we put them back in their carriers. These were beloved companions, not to be just left on a rug on the floor. We provided each of them with a loving token to be cremated with them. For Marble, it was a stuffed "Pound Kitty" that she's had since she was a baby. She used to wrestle with it when she was a kitten, wrapping her arms around it and biting it; and as she grew up, she treated it like her own baby, carrying it around by the scruff of its neck, bathing it and meowing to it. We'd often hear her off somewhere in the house howling, and then she'd walk in carrying that little stuffed animal in her mouth. For Chestnut, we sent her favorite blanket, which was actually my wife's blanket from when she was a baby. It was much the worse for wear, with the flower pattern worn off and holes everywhere, but Chestnut just loved it. And when she was sick on it or it got dirty, we'd wash it and she would get SO excited when it came back from the laundry smelling of fabric softener. As we spread it on the bed, she'd jump down and roll all over it.

Goodbye, girls. You gave us many, many years of joy and memories, and although I'm heartbroken, I'm relieved that you aren't in pain anymore.

Condolences, Phil. Losing two at once is hard going.

I know it's going to be difficult during the next days (and weeks...) Phil, but cherish the happy times you had with the kitties over the years, and try not to think of bad stuff at the end..

My cat had been ill for quite some time, but in a managed way. Last night, fairly out of the blue, she took a rapid turn for the worse. I came home and she didnt come running to the door, I found her curled up miserable on the couch, she wouldnt eat, barely had some water. Over the next few hours as I wrapped her in a blanket and held her she became quite unresponsive and twitchy. Eventually I got a friend on the phone who came and drove us to the late night vet hospital where they confirmed the worst: she'd gone into shock and letting her go to sleep was the best thing we could do.

I'd been preparing for it for ages, but I still didn't handle it at all well. It all happened so fast. At least we got to wrap her up and cuddle her for a few hours and I think she was aware enough to know she was loved to the last.

The kick in the guts was last nights grocery delivery which had contained a large bag of litter and a supply of food :(

Awww. My condolences, Trayce.

awww im sorry trayce. it is so sad when cats get sick. my condolences!

Thanks guys. I feel embarrased that I am so inconsolable but she's been my companion for almost 14 years. Is drinking at 9am a bad idea given?

sorry trayce<3

sorry Trayce, that hurts

poor yampy :( i'm sorry, trayce

<3 <3 <3 trayce

Just went through the same thing. It's not easy, but take some small comfort in the fact that you did what was best.

Condolences, Trayce.

aw trayce when I saw this thread bumped I knew... so sorry for your loss. my condolences.

I'm glad we were with her as she was fading away, and I honestly think she hung on til I got home for the comfort, cause she basically fell to bits within half an hour of me getting home.

I feel so horrible and empty.

I'm sorry, Trayce.

oh trayce, i'm so sorry to hear this :( let yourself feel whatever you feel - this is a hard time. hugs.

Trayce — reading the news made me so sad. Yampy is one of the only cats whose name I knew without ever actually seeing her, which probably shows how special she was. Hugs to you.

so sorry trayce...

Thank you everyone, thats very kind of you. I hope the strange empty feeling in my house eases up eventually.

my 19 year old seems to be on his very slow way out now, after a long struggle with thyroid problems, and its breaking my heart. i'm pretty sure the only way i'll be able to deal with it is by getting another one as soon as i possibly can.

i thought on that today too, and right now I dont think I could do so. Yampy had such a peculiar zen personality - very quiet and non-meowy and passive - I cant imagine another cat being like she was :(

God, I'm sorry Trayce.

I'm 40 and I've never had to deal with the death of anyone/thing before (not directly - hearing of acquaintances passing is all), this was the whole bag: she died in my arms basically, I watched her final breath. It has really changed me, I feel like I have taken too many things too cavalierly and not appreciated them :( I was unkind to my kitty at times: she could be a right bitch, breaking things, getting in the way. I yelled at her at times. But I loved her so much.

I have had to put two cats down - held them in my arms while the vet euthanized them - and it's brutally hard. I feel for you Trayce. Remember the good times, too, though.

My sincerest condolences, Trayce -- as you've seen upthread, I had to have two of our cats, ages 20 and 16, euthanized the same day just two months ago, and there are still days where I'm overcome by grief. If you need anyone to talk to about it, feel free to contact me by ILX mail and I can give you my regular email address.

Thanks Phil, it broke my heart when you posted your experience back in July cos I knew that was approaching for me also.

:( Really sorry, Trayce.

unbeknownst to me, my 19 year old passed away four days before i typed the above, while i was away... a friend took care of him, and he died in her arms as she walked him to the vets.

:( I am so sorry . . .

Condolences, stevie

thanks phil and michael. i'm really sad, but also glad he didn't really suffer at all, which i'd been dreading. wish i'd been with him when it happened though.

Aw, Stevie I saw your fb pics. I'm so sorry for you and S. That's really sad. I'm glad he was with a trusted friend.

thanks e. he totally was. and he didn't suffer, and i was so worried that we were keeping him going beyond his own comfort the last couple of weeks, as happy as he seemed. breaks my heart that i wasn't there when it happened, but i know he wasn't alone, and now he's at peace...

i didn't even cry when we found out, at the airport, because it was a strage relief. then we got home and i found his little catnip sheep toy on the bed...

<3 and condolences to Phil and Trayce and Stevie. My feline companion of 15 years is slowing down at a faster and faster rate. I'm reallyh grateful that you have all shared your experiences; it is somehow comforting to me.

RIP my beautiful cat and best friend of almost 18 years. I’m glad I got to hold you as you went but I’m going to miss you forever. Somehow when I got home I was half expecting you to be there waiting for me.

The initial absence can be a horribly difficult period of adjustment. I was breaking down multiple times last year when my dog of 14 years went, and still do tbh.

My condolences. Know how it goes.

oh, I'm so sorry. Coming in that front door still expecting to see and hear them is a real heartbreak and it doesn't go away right away. Likewise, thinking that's them in your peripheral vision but it's just a shadow or pillow.

our two dogs died within 10 days of each other in march. my coping mechanism was adopting two more dogs the day after the second one passed.

I went through the exact same thing as epistantophus exactly three years ago and still feel it in various ways even though (maybe especially because?) we have had two new cats for the past year and change. In a way it’s more challenging to deal with at the stage because the feelings are not quite as strong but more confusing, if that makes any sense.

at this stage

not to say that it isn’t super painful immediately afterwards of course

Dont know if she was terminally ill but I couldnt find another thread.

We have two jack russell dogs, sisters. The vet told us last week that one of them might develop cancer. Over the next few days she was constantly out of breath and unable to walk for long. I hoped she might get better but yesterday, while I was away, my dad phoned me to tell me that she had to be put to sleep.

I haven't heard of this before but the vet encouraged dad to take her body and lay it down for her sister to see for a while (Dad said she did seem worried about her sister before, but who knows?) before he buried her. Apparently this is good for dogs to confirm what has happened. I don't know how I would have dealt if I had saw this.

All this hit me much harder than I thought it would. I kept crying thinking about how she looked, the way she moved; she was 12 but still looked kind of like a baby but with a slight frailness, she had a very expressive face. Other dog walkers were always surprised by how old the sisters were.
Was worried how her sister would take it all and thinking about all the things I wouldn't see her do anymore. Wondering if my dad and sister have enough photos of her.

When I returned home today it wasn't long before I was walking the remaining sister and crying out fairly loud. I hope she sticks around a while longer.

I’m so sorry.

so sorry for your loss, RAG.