Thee Mormons Poll

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So, Mormon running for president, blah blah blah. "It's the fastest growing church!" And a new reason to spank Al Sharpton, altho I think most people <i>don't actually like the Mormon religion</i>. I could be wrong abt the general consensus here, tho, so a poll.

***

p.s. I grew up in the Mormon religion hardcore, I know most everything about it, so if you have any questions ask me, and I'll answer without sending two men to your door.

Poll Results

Option	Votes
It's a cult	15
Funny underwear	15
Just another gotdanged church	13
How do I got rid of missionaries?	6
Relatively innocuous	5
I grew up Mormon, too	1
Fastest growing church!	0

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

(h) adam schefter

― and what, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

My father and grandmother are LDS. I have no problem with the church even it does compete pretty heavily with the Catholic church in terms of dogma. It's not for me, but I don't mind the fact that it is for some.

Some religions wear funny hats. Some wear funny underwear. It's all about faith.

― Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:40 (nineteen years ago)

I can't get past all the Joseph Smith stuff.

― Gukbe, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

I think it's pretty similar to Catholicism, moreso than it is to an other xtian church, which is funny bcz they interpret Revelations' WHORE OF BABYLON to be the Catholic Church (surprise).

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:47 (nineteen years ago)

similiar to catholicism how? cetainly not in dogma asks lapsed catholic

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:49 (nineteen years ago)

The heirarchies and having a living spokesman of God. That and the general cultural thing of making lots of babies. Mormons can use birth control, they just crank 'em all out for fun.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

I was always jealous of how seemingly easy the repentance process was for Catholics.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

what about the thing where there are only 130,000 places in heaven or something?

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

That's Jehova's Witnesses. Mormons have a three-tired heaven & no hell.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:55 (nineteen years ago)

tiered

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:55 (nineteen years ago)

sounds reasonable

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:56 (nineteen years ago)

Also #=140,000

I went to a meeting of theirs once. They passed around the sacrament, but you're only supposed to take it if it's been revealed you're one of the 140k. I was so tempted to just take a big swig.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:56 (nineteen years ago)

My grandmother says I won't ever see the upper-tier, but that's okay because the second and third tiers are pretty nice in their own right.

― Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 12 May 2007 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

tiers in heaven

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

how do you know what tier you're going to?

abbott that would have been hilarious.

― Maria, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

The bottome tier is supposed to be just like Earth but a little nicer, but no drugs/alcohol/cigs, so if you're an addict you'll be jonesing FOR-E-VER.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

Celestial Kingdom

The celestial kingdom is the highest of the three kingdoms of glory. Those in this kingdom will dwell forever in the presence of God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. This should be your goal: to inherit celestial glory and to help others receive that great blessing as well. Such a goal is not achieved in one attempt; it is the result of a lifetime of righteousness and constancy of purpose.

From another revelation to the Prophet Joseph, we learn that there are three degrees within the celestial kingdom. To be exalted in the highest degree and continue eternally in family relationships, we must enter into "the new and everlasting covenant of marriage" and be true to that covenant. In other words, temple marriage is a requirement for obtaining the highest degree of celestial glory. (See D&C 131:1–4.) All who are worthy to enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage will have that opportunity, whether in this life or the next.

Terrestrial Kingdom

Those who inherit terrestrial glory will "receive of the presence of the Son, but not of the fulness of the Father. Wherefore, they are bodies terrestrial, and not bodies celestial, and differ in glory as the moon differs from the sun" (D&C 76:77–78). Generally speaking, individuals in the terrestrial kingdom will be honorable people "who were blinded by the craftiness of men" (D&C 76:75). This group will include members of the Church who were "not valiant in the testimony of Jesus" (D&C 76:79). It will also include those who rejected the opportunity to receive the gospel in mortality but who later received it in the postmortal spirit world (see D&C 76:73–74). To learn more about those who will inherit terrestrial glory, see Doctrine and Covenants D&C 76:71–80, 91, 97.

Telestial Kingdom

Telestial glory will be reserved for individuals who "received not the gospel of Christ, neither the testimony of Jesus" (D&C 76:82). These individuals will receive their glory after being redeemed from spirit prison, which is sometimes called hell (see D&C 76:84, D&C 76:106). A detailed explanation of those who will inherit telestial glory is found in Doctrine and Covenants 76:81–90, 98–106, 109–112.

Perdition

Some people will not be worthy to dwell in any kingdom of glory. They will be called "the sons of perdition" and will have to "abide a kingdom which is not a kingdom of glory" (D&C 76:32; 88:24). This will be the state of "those who know [God's] power, and have been made partakers thereof, and suffered themselves through the power of the devil to be overcome, and to deny the truth and defy [God's] power" (D&C 76:31; see also D&C 76:30, 32–49).

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

Terrestrial folks got baptised for the dead.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:05 (nineteen years ago)

bad jehovah's witness odds, from wikipedia:

It is also taught that 144,000 people will receive immortal life in heaven

Official world-wide membership of the organization ... is 6.7 million as of August 2006

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:06 (nineteen years ago)

The more quotidian parts of the LDS church are pretty much acceptable to me. There's a lot of holier-than-thou piety, but it gives one a very strong sense of belonging, too. You even get some institutional security in exchange for your tithes; those Mormons really do take care of their own.

The actual dogmas of the church seem pretty wicked to me - most especially the secret doctrines. The upper reaches of the LDS do resemble a fairly nasty cult, and I say: less power to them!

― Aimless, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:07 (nineteen years ago)

Dude, you have to beg for the food welfare if you're poor, and when you get it it's some nasty stuff.

The people are generally as nice and kind, per capita, as you'll find in any church. They do teach preparedness really well, which is good, although it means I'm always handing out pens/paper/guitar strings/batteries/candles.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

I've been up some LDS HQ tower in SLC, I just remembered

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

Anyone whose been to the temple is part of the secret doctrines, which is most Mormon adults/returned missionaries/married couples.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

do you believe in the angel moroni & the gold plates?

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:11 (nineteen years ago)

and one of the first sherlock holmes stories has mormons in

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:11 (nineteen years ago)

I used to believe in all that stuff, now I don't. It's just kind of comical to me.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:11 (nineteen years ago)

they're really rather nasty in the sherlock holmes story

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://a222.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00442/12/21/442451221_l.jpg

Here I am presenting golden plates to Joseph Smith.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

Howard Hughes would have only Mormon bodyguards.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

I remember that, too

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

maybe mormons = the white black muslims?

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

no offense intended

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

way to go

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:17 (nineteen years ago)

Dude, I'm not Mormon anymore. Getting out of that church is like escaping from the elephant graveyard. So, no offense taken.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

you should read that sherlock holmes story

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:21 (nineteen years ago)

"a study in scarlett"

it was the v first s holmes story, actually

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

probably "a study in scarlet", actually

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

Abbott is that you? You look like a girl I disliked on study abroad (because she disliked me first!), which is alarming, but I like you on ILX so I will not conflate you!

I don't like the part about temple marriage being necessary for heaven. At least more traditional Christian denominations have room for, well, not marrying (a Catholic friend told me that in the Catholic church, you can have a calling to the priesthood or a calling to marriage, and when I asked what if you don't have either, she said 'Then you have a calling to be single' - awesome!). Also, what about the gays? :(

― Maria, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

in the big irish catholic families one child out of 9 or 10 would traditionally abstain from getting married or entering priest/nunhood in order to take care of elderly parents when that day came.

let's face it no organized religion is tolerant of homosexuality

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

I voted for it's a cult. and I consider my own former religion the roman catholic church to be a cult too, albeit a pretentious one.

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:38 (nineteen years ago)

what's scientology's position on homosexuality?

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:39 (nineteen years ago)

they offer a "cure" lolz

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:43 (nineteen years ago)

It's got a recent history more fucked up than other American religions and at least with most Christian sects the really goofy stuff happened far enough back to work as mythology (where who can really believe that God came down from on high and said you couldn't have multiple wives right as the feds started pushing the issue?).

OTOH, is it any weirder than transubstantiation?

― milo z, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

Racism and magical underwear all aside, Mormon doctrine seems notably less punitive than fire-and-brimstone Protestants or Pope Benny's Catholicism. So I guess that's a point in their favor.

― milo z, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

I was on mushrooms once, eating chicken, and became convinced the miracle of transubstantiation was occuring while the food was still in my mouth. Disturbing.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:46 (nineteen years ago)

tripping in church = classic or dud?

― m coleman, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

The UCC is supportive of homosexuality, and some other Protestant denominations have various degrees of tolerance in individual congregations. (One Methodist minister of a mostly gay congregation said that other Methodist ministers call her to tell gay people they're not going to hell because while the other ministers may think that, they don't want to actually SAY it, and would rather send in somebody supportive. WEIRD dynamic.)

xpost probably classic?

― Maria, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:50 (nineteen years ago)

mormons are generally exceedingly nice, but in my experience, scratch the surface a little and a not so attractive elitism is revealed

― gershy, Saturday, 12 May 2007 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

If you can't be righteous, you can at least be self-righteous.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:02 (nineteen years ago)

do the lds have a pope-ish figure?

― mookieproof, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

Stephen Colbert had a really funny couple of bits about that:

http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/?lnk=v&ml_video=8525

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

They have a prophet who's supposed to be the lving voicebox of god.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.transaudiogroup.com/images/Heil/Frampton.jpg?

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

Re: that first, Mormon-oriented Holmes story, I just want to note that the "mystery" is really comically lame, to the point where I can't even spoil it here. I mean, okay, an American is killed in London. After much investigation, Holmes fingers the killer. "But how did you know?" asks Watson, and of course you're waiting for some grand Holmesian deduction to spill out.

And Holmes responds, more or less: "Well, you know how he was from Cleveland? Yeah, I called the Cleveland police a few chapters back -- you were busy taking a leak -- and they said this guy's been trying to kill him all year."

― nabisco, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

That may or may not be a metaphor for my feelings about Mormons.

― nabisco, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

nabisco may or may not be otm

― mookieproof, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

the best bit in that story may or may not be when holmes gets all The Lexlike about the composition of the solar system

― RJG, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

Holy shit I've got to read this.

― Abbott, Saturday, 12 May 2007 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

No sillier than all the other religions.

― M.V., Saturday, 12 May 2007 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

religions that ban drinking = suxx0r

― mookieproof, Saturday, 12 May 2007 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

btw abbott that is a fabulous pic of you and joe smith (who had his vision on my birthday!)

― mookieproof, Saturday, 12 May 2007 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

those mormon boys always dress so well & have such nice haircuts. its one of the things i really appreciate about this religion.

His ignorance was as remarkable as his knowledge. Of contemporary literature, philosophy and politics he appeared to know next to nothing. Upon my quoting Thomas Carlyle, he inquired in the naivest way who he might be and what he had done. My surprise reached a climax, however, when I found incidentally that he was ignorant of the Copernican Theory and of the composition of the Solar System. That any civilized human being in this nineteenth century should not be aware that the earth travelled round the sun appeared to be to me such an extraordinary fact that I could hardly realize it.

"You appear to be astonished," he said, smiling at my expression of surprise. "Now that I do know it I shall do my best to forget it."

i think thats the only one i never actually finished. other than THE ADVENTURE OF THE BERYL CORONET, because my fucking copy stopped it off halfway through. ive been wondering ever since what exactly the deal was with that goddamn coronet.

― deeznuts, Saturday, 12 May 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

[quote to demonstrate rjg made probably the most otm comparison ever]

― deeznuts, Saturday, 12 May 2007 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

religions that ban drinking = suxx0r

religions ~~that ban drinking~~ = suxx0r

― M.V., Saturday, 12 May 2007 23:22 (nineteen years ago)

when I was in tenth grade this cute & really smart & really funny Mormon chick asked me to go with her to the Pink Floyd laserlight show. It was a week night and I had some school project thing, so I declined. To make myself feel better, I told myself that she was probably really prudish when it came down to it and it was for the best that it never happened.

did I make a hueg mistake?

― will, Saturday, 12 May 2007 23:50 (nineteen years ago)

never turn down cute/smart/funny!

― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 May 2007 00:04 (nineteen years ago)

I told myself that she was probably really prudish when it came down to it

You were mistaken, my son. For despite their magical underpants, Mormon chicks can be total Mistresses of Make-Out.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Sunday, 13 May 2007 00:15 (nineteen years ago)

tiers in heaven

-- RJG, Saturday, May 12, 2007 2:00 PM (5 hours ago)

that was funny

― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 13 May 2007 00:36 (nineteen years ago)

xpost cosigned, had a mormon girlfriend once. She was sort of lapsed and jaded but she dragged me to one of the services, which i don't remember much. All I thought I knew was those creepy 80's commercials and vague charges of racism. Church was lily-white and I sensed awkwardness but not animosity towards me(hi dere most white churches), they were nice enough, whatever. Her parents were devout(maybe not by LDS standards but they always bugged her about going to church) but really cool to me.

― tremendoid, Sunday, 13 May 2007 00:51 (nineteen years ago)

oh and, uh my wife was a mormon convert for a time. has a subscription to 'ensign' but never goes to church. thank heaven(s) for that but I try to keep my mouth shut re: the religion regardless.

― tremendoid, Sunday, 13 May 2007 00:54 (nineteen years ago)

"But how did you know?" asks Watson, and of course you're waiting for some grand Holmesian deduction to spill out. And Holmes responds, more or less: "Well, you know how he was from Cleveland? Yeah, I called the Cleveland police a few chapters back -- you were busy taking a leak -- and they said this guy's been trying to kill him all year."

the best bit in that story may or may not be when holmes gets all The Lexlike about the composition of the solar system

both OTM

― abanana, Sunday, 13 May 2007 00:55 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, Ensign covers it all when people come, check the coffee table, all's looking on the up & up.

― Abbott, Sunday, 13 May 2007 01:15 (nineteen years ago)

I know that Christ has been anglicized throughout history, but Mormons take it to a new ~~tier~~ level.

http://img12.imagepile.net/img12/352mormon-jesus-by-del-parson.jpg

― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 13 May 2007 02:09 (nineteen years ago)

"Get your dirty Roman hands OFF OF ME."

― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 13 May 2007 02:09 (nineteen years ago)

you have nothing in yr hands
any power you have
comes to you from far beyond
everything is fixed and you can't change it

― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 May 2007 02:16 (nineteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― ILX System, Sunday, 10 June 2007 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

I would like to know about the secret name give to the wimmens when they get married. True or no? If true, what exactly is that all about? Do men get secret names, too?

― quincie, Monday, 11 June 2007 01:55 (nineteen years ago)

I lived one and a half miles from a small polygamous mormon church in the mountains of western montana.

― Maria :D, Monday, 11 June 2007 02:09 (nineteen years ago)

community i mean (p1n3sdale)

― Maria :D, Monday, 11 June 2007 02:10 (nineteen years ago)

what's the mormon take on marrying outside of the faith? how does that work out, is it grounds for expulsion?

― gershy, Monday, 11 June 2007 02:11 (nineteen years ago)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinesdale%2C_Montana

― Maria :D, Monday, 11 June 2007 02:13 (nineteen years ago)

So what is the deal with underwear, with at least some Mormons? I don't know anything about it, I just know in Sunday School (I went to a Pentecostal church, which was a massively fucked up way to grow up), the teacher made short reference to the Mormons and their "green underwear", before rolling his eyes.

― Z S, Monday, 11 June 2007 02:39 (nineteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― ILX System, Monday, 11 June 2007 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

how did I miss this thread

― Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 11 June 2007 23:03 (nineteen years ago)

it was nice. can you miss more?

― strgn, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 00:59 (nineteen years ago)

http://img12.imagepile.net/img12/352mormon-jesus-by-del-parson.jpg

Messiah without a cause

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 01:06 (nineteen years ago)

abbot's "here I am presenting the golden tablets" pic just gave me a real bad case of the giggles

― J0hn D., Tuesday, 12 June 2007 02:12 (nineteen years ago)

abbott is that the guide to getting it on?

― max, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 02:38 (nineteen years ago)

yeah abbott that pic is absolutely amazing. i can't count the # of times i've seen it on a placard in like valiant b, and the pic of you as the big G is v. otm. is it another arnold friberg creation?

― strgn, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 09:33 (nineteen years ago)

Dude that is so the guide to getting it on.

It is Friberg, that guy knew how to paint MUSCLES.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 18:49 (nineteen years ago)

Also, quincie, SeCrEt TeMpLe name is the one you're supposed to be called by in hebbin. And men get it too. Both the first time they go to the temple, though that first time is usually marriage for women. They discourage women from going to the temple before marriage bcz if you sin after temple ordinances the consequences are supposed to be more serious. And we all know non-married women can't keep their knees together.

It's funny tho, they give all the people who come into the temple on one particular day the SAME NAME. ie 25 Elizas. Not very creative.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 18:52 (nineteen years ago)

re: Mo undies, they get really shit ugly white polyester two-piece under-duds that extend to the knees and have sort or cap sleeves. Women get a modest V-neck. There's controversy over where women are supposed to wear bras over or under the garments; I know my mom always wore bras over them. Mormon version of "modesty" is clothes that cover garments; you're supposed to dress that way before & after temple ceremony wherein you get garments. Consequently I got very acclimated to wearing pants all summer long, every summer.

They have some ripped-off Masonic symbols embroidered over each nipple & the bellybutton.

They are buried in a green sash around the waist and a DERBY for women and a kind of wack BAKER'S CAP/BERET for the men. I had no idea about this until I saw my teacher's open-casket funeral. WTF? "Oh, that's what people wear in heaven," my dad explained.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 18:58 (nineteen years ago)

six months pass...

I heard a semi-wry comment from a pundit the other day to the effect of "why not Mitt Romney? He's Mormon, so you know he's a decent guy -- have you ever known a Mormon who was cheating on his wife or who gambled or used drugs?" And I thought about all the Mormons I knew, and this dude is right! They are all straight as fucking arrows!

What is it about this faith that makes enables its followers to be so thoroughly decent (if totally weird)?

It yet it is precisely this fear of the unknown, this eery capacity to avoid vice, that makes me ph34r Mitt Romney.

― wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:05 (eighteen years ago)

Results 1 - 10 of about 7,420 for "mitt romney" AND reptilian. (0.28 seconds)

― wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:10 (eighteen years ago)

If you were taught that the body you had was going to be the one you would have for all eternity and not just for the next 50-60 years, you'd be more careful with it.

I'd be scared to light a bottle rocket, much less drink a hot scalding cup of coffee, were I into that.

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:10 (eighteen years ago)

What were the results for "mitt romney" and "salamander"?

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:11 (eighteen years ago)

FEWER!

― wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:13 (eighteen years ago)

this is excellent

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:16 (eighteen years ago)

I mean I have Mormon friends and everything but it is remarkable how much I let Mormonism freak me out.

― wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:16 (eighteen years ago)

And I thought about all the Mormons I knew, and this dude is right! They are all straight as fucking arrows! What is it about this faith that makes enables its followers to be so thoroughly decent (if totally weird)?

eh utah has some of the highest rates of fraud in in the country.

the teetotaler/faithful thing seems culturally enforced rather than arising from any super wholesomeness.

the mormons who ran the warehouse that used to do our fulfillment were a family business - it turned out both the sons were illegally ordering the pain pills they were addicted to off the internet and dealing them out of the warehouse. we found out abt it and tried to sort out the situation w/the owner/dad but he just kept glossing over the situation.

having known a few people who grew up in the lds, that warehouse family experience and the reading ive done makes it seem like they do aspire to be on the straight and narrow but show a certain unwillingness to relate to any sort of obstacles.

generally the vibe i get from mormon culture is: denial.

― jhøshea, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:29 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, I sense that.

During the whole Elizabeth Smart drama, every time I saw her parents give any sort or public statement: these people are motherfucking aliens from outer space.

― wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:34 (eighteen years ago)

ok sorry now I'm going too far.

― wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:35 (eighteen years ago)

generally the vibe i get from mormon culture is: denial.

totally. you get a lot done that way tho.

― gabbneb, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 02:59 (eighteen years ago)

Dude, Word of Wisdom (the rule prohobiting smoking/alcohol/coffee/tea/drugs) is like THE one rule Mormons follow (generally) and which they judge other Mormons by. Like teenage sex is about one step below smoking in public in Scandalizing level. Anything else kind of gets swept under the table. (Well except tattoos/peircings which are also Evilllll.)

And PP, they believe your body will be "perfected" after the resurrection/second coming. As a missionary explained to me, "I won't have this scar on my nose anymore." woot?

― Abbott, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 21:06 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

My aunt's racist dog loves the temple:

http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/5311/uhwtf.jpg

― I X Love (Abbott), Friday, 1 January 2010 17:34 (sixteen years ago)

holy shit

― Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 17:34 (sixteen years ago)

Hold the phone, do they even allow dogs in the temple? Something's fishy.

― Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 17:42 (sixteen years ago)

They don't even allow most humans in the temple.

― I X Love (Abbott), Friday, 1 January 2010 17:47 (sixteen years ago)

TARBABY?

― ian, Friday, 1 January 2010 18:19 (sixteen years ago)

They just put "Baby" on her collar tag, which shows they know the general public would probably rightly think her name is fucked up.

― I X Love (Abbott), Friday, 1 January 2010 18:29 (sixteen years ago)

poor dog stuck with that

― Maria, Friday, 1 January 2010 22:36 (sixteen years ago)

They just put "Baby" on her collar tag, which shows they know the general public would probably rightly think her name is fucked up.

"Honey, what does it mean when it says 'everyone' can see the Facebook profile?"

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 1 January 2010 22:41 (sixteen years ago)

"Just your friends can see it, I swear it!!"

― Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 22:43 (sixteen years ago)

Is Tarbaby a black pug! ;_;

― t(o_o)t (ENBB), Friday, 1 January 2010 23:14 (sixteen years ago)

er, that was a q

― t(o_o)t (ENBB), Friday, 1 January 2010 23:14 (sixteen years ago)

She is a shih tzu, tho they have another dog named Wonton that is a pug.

― I X Love (Abbott), Saturday, 2 January 2010 01:35 (sixteen years ago)

lol

― Don't delay, we cannot do this forever. (Matt P), Saturday, 2 January 2010 01:40 (sixteen years ago)

who does that really

― Don't delay, we cannot do this forever. (Matt P), Saturday, 2 January 2010 01:41 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

Signed by Nephite #2!

― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 7 March 2010 18:24 (sixteen years ago)

seven months pass...

Finally someone else gets in on this sweet business plan

― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Monday, 1 November 2010 00:50 (fifteen years ago)

I was explaining the "tiered heaven" thing in this thread to a friend over lunch.

"Apparently there's no hell, just a lower tier that is like this world, only a little better."

"Oh, they still have a middle class there?"

― mh, Monday, 1 November 2010 19:13 (fifteen years ago)

If I had my way, that person would get an instant pass to the Terrestrial Kingdom – that is the first time I have ever laughed at a "death of the middle class" joke.

― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 01:15 (fifteen years ago)

four months pass...

I see there is a name for the area I have lived in most of my life: the Mormon Corridor, which is apparently a big menstrual stain on the Rocky Mountains + AZ.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/49/Map_of_USA_highlighting_Jello_Belt.png

― wizards of wonder are the keepers of knowledge (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 March 2011 01:43 (fifteen years ago)

"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Map_of_USA_highlighting_Jello_Belt.png";

― wizards of wonder are the keepers of knowledge (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 March 2011 01:43 (fifteen years ago)

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=6175090

― Neu! romancer (dayo), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:09 (fifteen years ago)

That man's behavior is almost as bad as growing your hair longer than the top of your ears.

― wizards of wonder are the keepers of knowledge (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:11 (fifteen years ago)

omg check their two question faq: https://honorcode.byu.edu/

― wizards of wonder are the keepers of knowledge (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:12 (fifteen years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/Savn0.png

― Neu! romancer (dayo), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:26 (fifteen years ago)

also I love that BYU is savvy enough to practice SEO

https://honorcode.byu.edu/content/what-process-obtaining-beard-waiver

― Neu! romancer (dayo), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:26 (fifteen years ago)

A student who wishes to obtain a beard exception must visit a BYU Student Health Center doctor by appointment (422.5156). The doctor will fax his recommendation. The student then needs to come to the Honor Code Office to fill out some paperwork and receive the letter allowing the growth of the beard, if approved. If a yearly beard exception is granted, a new Student ID will be issued after the beard has been fully grown, and must be renewed every year by repeating the process.

If a request is granted for a temporary or more permanent beard exception the student will be notified by the Honor Code Office; at which time the student will come into the office to complete the necessary paperwork. After completion of this process the student may then grow a full beard according the guidelines given.

― wizards of wonder are the keepers of knowledge (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:27 (fifteen years ago)

If a yearly beard exception is granted, a new Student ID will be issued after the beard has been fully grown, and must be renewed every year by repeating the process.

I love that this implies that one reason for growing a beard is to evade recognition, possibly from the authorities - not so fast, Abraham!

― Neu! romancer (dayo), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:28 (fifteen years ago)

Not one bit helpful if you want a beard waver for styling your chin locks

http://images.bizrate.com/resize?sq=140&uid=946703859

― wizards of wonder are the keepers of knowledge (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 March 2011 02:28 (fifteen years ago)

btw if anyone wants to get upset about something at BYU – don't get mad at them junking the ball player – BYU still uses electroshock & aversion therapy techniques on gay students, that's what you should be upset about...

― wizards of wonder are the keepers of knowledge (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 March 2011 16:59 (fifteen years ago)

BEARD WAIVER

― OLD MAN YELLS AT SHOUT RAP (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 March 2011 17:59 (fifteen years ago)

^damn. why would you go there if you were gay? or straight and wanted to have sex, like this bball player apparently did?

― Thraft of Cleveland (Bill Magill), Friday, 4 March 2011 18:39 (fifteen years ago)

durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

― unusually tight body for a comedian (Matt P), Friday, 4 March 2011 18:41 (fifteen years ago)

mormonia

http://www.creativeclass.com/creative_class/_wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/FBMap.png

― fit and working again, Friday, 4 March 2011 19:38 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.thebondjourney.com/images/never-say-never-again-domination-game.jpg

― a murder rap to keep ya dancin, with a crime record like Keith Chegwin (snoball), Friday, 4 March 2011 19:40 (fifteen years ago)

Win.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 4 March 2011 19:42 (fifteen years ago)

Also I really wanted that damn game.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 4 March 2011 19:42 (fifteen years ago)

I don't know - some strange guy saying that he wants to play a game with me that he invented called 'Domination'? I'd skip it personally.

― a murder rap to keep ya dancin, with a crime record like Keith Chegwin (snoball), Friday, 4 March 2011 19:44 (fifteen years ago)

Yeah but Cylon voices.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 4 March 2011 19:45 (fifteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

It wasn't until I was 14 or 15 that I realized there was no rule in the Mormon church against using garlic or credit cards. It was just that my parents didn't like those things.

― Looking Man (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 23 March 2011 04:11 (fifteen years ago)

I feel for you on that garlic thing. I dated someone who had a father who was ultra-sensitive to onions so she didn't really eat onions, and as a result, didn't like when I used them in cooking. There are some things that you just have to have.

Still not discounting the possibility you're actually from a family of vampires, though.

― mh, Wednesday, 23 March 2011 13:36 (fifteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7050/6995094477_3a7e649721.jpg

― chupacabra seeds (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:34 (thirteen years ago)

How the fuck?

― kate78, Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:35 (thirteen years ago)

http://sexymodest.com/

― chupacabra seeds (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:36 (thirteen years ago)

http://sexymodest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/AboutUS.png

― chupacabra seeds (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:36 (thirteen years ago)

FastFoodHealthy
restaurant

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:37 (thirteen years ago)

A lot of the clothes on that site are NOT LDS-style modest, lame!
Not partic "sexy" either.

― chupacabra seeds (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:39 (thirteen years ago)

The tank tops with descriptions ARE recommending to wear them over a blank t-shirt, which is totally Mormon, so I feel a little better.

― chupacabra seeds (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:40 (thirteen years ago)

Oxymormon

― owenf, Tuesday, 3 July 2012 16:53 (thirteen years ago)

Was talking with my mom recently (Lutheran, but very interested in other beliefs) about Joseph Smith, and specifically the story of the golden plates and the seer stones, Urim and Thummim -- except she kept calling them Uma and Thurman.

― Mafia-owned bar for transvestites (Dan Peterson), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 17:44 (thirteen years ago)

I think that was my "I grew up Mormon, too!" vote.

― 'Sit pax in valle tamesis' ('Let there be Peace in the Thames Valley') (Viceroy), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 20:44 (thirteen years ago)

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