What one piece of advice would you give your twenty year old self?

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Because I wasn't listening to anyone when I was 10.

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:12 (nineteen years ago)

Try and cut down the amount of time you spend in William Hill to less than 20 hours a week.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:13 (nineteen years ago)

Computers ARE the future!

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:15 (nineteen years ago)

take this idea for a website and do it now now now now do it

― blueski, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:17 (nineteen years ago)

there are (several) things i should have done differently at that age but then the wrong decisions i made then helped me get where i am now - and frankly these days i'm so overwhelmingly happy with myself (i feel blessed to be who i am!) that i wouldn't change a thing or give any of my past selves advice

(exception: for 16-yr-old self, come out earlier and you will prob get to mess around with hot boys in school)

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:22 (nineteen years ago)

Buy a house, any house.

― Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:23 (nineteen years ago)

Get out. Look, just get out. Do not waste time, don't wait for your girlfriends or a boyfriend or your sister to go with you, just go. Don't be scared. You can move to NYC, or you can move back to London (your relatives *will* put you up! if you'd just asked...) but leave that awful town.

Oh, and stop drinking so damn much. You can't handle it.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

Never ever ever ever ever go on a website called "I Love Music". Never.

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:26 (nineteen years ago)

Leave him!

― *rumpie*, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

Buy a house, any house.

-- Scik Mouthy, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:23 (9 minutes ago)

So OTM :( I actually came on here to post that. I would also advise take up a sport so you would feel more confident about that sort of thing!

― kv_nol, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:33 (nineteen years ago)

do not, i repeat, do not take a 'year out' of art studies.

― Ste, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:36 (nineteen years ago)

Oh and be less loud, experiment as much as possible and learn a trade. Fuck a degree, you should learn how to be a plumber or something worthwhile that will mean you can afford nice things more often!

― kv_nol, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

That was not for Ste. That was still for 20 year old me!

― kv_nol, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

and make the most of the six year window of sex you're currently in, it kinda stops dead after that.

― Ste, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

ha, but it would have still made sense

― Ste, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:39 (nineteen years ago)

Sleeping with someone doesn't necessarily make them like you.

― C J, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

Stop fucking eating. Oh, and I see you're smoking now as well. Stop it.

― accentmonkey, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:02 (nineteen years ago)

~~Sleeping~~ Marrying ~~with~~ someone doesn't necessarily make them like you.

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

It's a joke Mrs T - a joke!

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

That eating thing is exactly what I told my 20 year self, and my 21 year self and my 22 year old self...

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:05 (nineteen years ago)

Also, just so you know? You are never going to marry Bernard Sumner, Sonic Boom or Mark Gardener. In fact you may well never marry anyone. Now stop worrying about it and pay more attention to the things in life you want to accomplish and stop letting boys get you all bent out of shape.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

stop being so arrogant, you're no different from any other silly english major

― get bent, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

^that was to my 20 y.o.s.

― get bent, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:18 (nineteen years ago)

Never ever ever ever ever go on a website called "I Love Music". Never.

-- the next grozart, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:26 (47 minutes ago)

Actually, in a way, OTM. Such a place to waste time. Good people though so not v OTM in the end...

― kv_nol, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:19 (nineteen years ago)

No it's had its plus sides.

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:30 (nineteen years ago)

Christ, I've written three different answers to this thread, but they're all too depressing to post.
So: "Remember that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of his every instinct. Do that."
That's a bit paradoxical though.

Frankly, I'd prefer telling my 17-yr old self a few things. That guy was the worst.

― Øystein, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

So: "Remember that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of his every instinct. Do that."

Haha, this sounds about right.

― Rockist Scientist, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

Do not under any circumstances borrow (what at the time felt like) loads of money off your parents, so you can take a train down almost the entirety of Germany in pursuit of a girl who's blatantly not in love with you, and will in fact pull someone else right in front of you when you go out clubbing, and then scream "I'm not your girlfriend!" at you in the toilets.

No, don't do that.

(haha I'm DJing at her wedding at the end of June though, so I guess we've all grown as people!)

Also, sign up to a Housing Association waiting list. NOW. I know it doesn't sound at all important, it is. Do it. DO IT.

― CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

"Remember that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of his every instinct. Do that."

Weird - I watched this episode about 2 hours ago. "My name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents".

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

My advice to me would be similar to CJ's. Also 'he's not worth it' would be a useful catch-all tip for that time in my life. Sadly.

― Archel, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

This thread is strangely depressing. I far prefer the 10 year old self advice thread.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

stay far away from the girl at the bar of a gig you will go to in six years time, staring at you with chocolate eyes and a smile that makes you melt... it will only end in tears.

― stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not sure I'd have a lot of advice for me at 20, other than the "buy a house" kind of stuff. I did get out of an unsuccessful relationship, I did lose a lot of weight, I did make a pretty decent deal out of university life, I didn't get arrested or do anything too ridiculously stupid.

Oh, hang on - "you're about to be dumped, so when you and N1cola D0herty sit among the fireflies and tell each other your deepest thoughts, kiss her - she DID like you that way after all, though if you don't make a move you won't find this out for another 2 years"

― Mark C, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:11 (nineteen years ago)

Also: Do NOT sell your Roland Juno-6 to crap metalheads that want to play Zeppelin shit on it. That's gonna be valuable some day.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

This thread is strangely depressing. I far prefer the 10 year old self advice thread.

yes, this one is too soon. I'm still trying to sort out half the mess my 20yo got me into.

― Ste, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

sit among the fireflies and tell each other your deepest thoughts

haha INDIE!

thought of another one:

be less of a fucking flake when it comes to letter-writing, and then you won't live to regret never finishing (and thus never posting) that nice letter you started writing to the lovely girl who then too quickly died of cancer.

ugh. maybe 20 was a sucky time after all.

― CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

i can think of so many things i want to say to my 20yo self dammit

― blueski, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

not least "e-mail the Pentagon from an internet cafe your info on the terrists"

― blueski, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

yes, this one is too soon. I'm still trying to sort out half the mess my 20yo got me into.

-- Ste, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:20 PM (2 minutes ago)

For you maybe but some of us could have 30 year old and 40 year old threads as well. Although I think the only thing they would say to me at any rate is that I never listen to my own advice.

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:25 (nineteen years ago)

haha this thread will be useful

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

The fact you've finally met some people who are (much much) better than you are at maths doesn't mean that you're shit and should give up on it altogether.

― JimD, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:27 (nineteen years ago)

have more sex.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

live a bit more.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

There's nothing very important that I could say now that I wasn't already aware of at twenty. I knew what I had to do; I just didn't do it.

― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:40 (nineteen years ago)

Buy Yahoo! stocks

― Treblekicker, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

Start paying back those student loans. Dropping out of college was a good choice; avoiding those debts is gonna make you miserable.

― aimurchie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

everybody is gonna fuck you over

― g-kit, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:47 (nineteen years ago)

when people shit on you and put you down, 90% of the time its because they're envious of you and the things you want to achieve. so don't listen to them.

― stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

start fucking revising, like, NOW

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, Stevie so OTM. Someone told me this when I was 30, but I still didn't listen: If people just dislike you for no apparent reason, it says a lot more about *them* than it does about you. Pay no mind.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

hang in there, dude. just hang in there. it will get better, though it will get worse first.

oh, right - i'm not talking about university, yeah, you might as well ditch that.

oh, and burn that fucking ugly hairy jumper.

― emsk, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

Cut your hair, and it is worth paying £40 extra for a pair of glasses that don't make you look like a sex case.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

domaged20.jpg

― CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Don't get tired of casual relationships and decide to settle down with the one bloke who doesn't seem to be taking you for a ride. He is every bit as nice as he seems but you will get no sex for 5 years.

― Zora, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Someone told me this when I was 30, but I still didn't listen

at 31, its just beginning to sink in

― stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

Do a bit more work you idle twat.

― chap, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

(says my 28 year old self wasting away the day on the internet)

― chap, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

Buy Yahoo! stocks

When I was 20, a friend of mine, who was about 19, talked about getting a loan to buy a bunch of computers and network them together and set people up with access to these new-fangled electronic mail accounts on them and show them how to use them, so they could access the in-ter-net. We didn't laugh at him, but nor did we buy him a shirt and tie and help him get a bank loan. Sigh.

― accentmonkey, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

The things you don't deny yourself now will kill you eventually.

― kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

Move to the city, right now. No, now.

― stet, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

not least "e-mail the Pentagon from an internet cafe your info on the terrists"

HELLO PENTAGONS I AM FROM TEH FUTURE

― braveclub, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

haha, Steve brings the practical thinking and saves the world while everyone else is going "don't cry man, it'll be OK I promise"

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

I think my one would be "don't say anything at all for another 18 months, it's better to be safe than sorry"

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

No, you cannot quit any time.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

Don't get married, just keep living together. Fuck your families.

Start seeing a psychiatrist NOW. It's all going starshaped in a few years.

Now, while you have fresh, new credit and nearly zero debt, invest in Apple. Then when this thing called Google comes along, buy some of that too.

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

knock it off with the fucking cigarettes for christ's sake.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

Good job having all that sex.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

haha

Oh another one: DON'T MOVE IN WITH HER, YOU HUMAN WRECK.

― kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

when people shit on you and put you down, 90% of the time its because they're envious of you and the things you want to achieve. so don't listen to them.

i realised this - like, properly realised this - a few months ago! hurrah for me

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

* Get a haircut. Your current coif makes you look like Lou Barlow meets Weird Al. And you wonder why girls don't like you?

* Read more books. Do some traveling. Your live doesn't have to revolve around records and only records.

* Get out of the friggin' dorms and lease an apartment.

― mike a, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

when people shit on you and put you down, 90% of the time its because they're envious of you and the things you want to achieve. so don't listen to them.

I still need to learn this lesson.

― mike a, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

pick up that extra shift waiting tables and buy some property in Oxford, MS.

also, if you've had more than three beers, ride your bike. NO EXCEPTIONS.

― will, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

DO JUNIOR YEAR ABROAD.

Seriously, not doing that is the one thing that still kills me from my college years.

― mike a, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

Beat the rush. Shave that stupid goatee off NOW.

― kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

Your grades actually DO count for something, so quit fucking up.

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:17 (nineteen years ago)

That and sleep with more women.

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

Move yourself!
You always live your life, never thinking of the future.
Prove yourself!
You are the move you make. Take your chances win or loser.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

That would basically be my advice actually. Listen to more ridiculous overproduced pop, stop spending ALL OF YOUR FUCKING MONEY on bad old synths and shit techno that nobody's ever ever heard of and never will, it's obscure for a reason, the reason is it's crap. You'll feel really brilliant in eight years when you take 90% of it and dump it on the counter at the used cd shop to get a grand total of $100 cash back.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

old synths can be bad?

― blueski, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

i wouldn't bother giving 20 year old me any advice because i wasn't about to listen to anyone at 20. certainly not some middle aged dude.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

* Stop assuming the things you want are out of your grasp, family conditioning to the contrary. You could move to NYC right now, for instance, rather than waiting five more years.

* You're obsessed with wanting a girlfriend. So far, however, you haven't thought it through beyond the first kiss. The sad fact is that women are a total mystery to you, and you have no idea how to treat them. This is going to haunt you before the year is out.

― mike a, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

All that stuff in the present (music, clothes) that seems like crap probably is. Don't insult your friends and colleagues, but don't second-guess yourself about it either.

― Eazy, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

STAY AWAY FROM ALL THOSE BAD BOYS.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

old synths take up lots of space and generally make about 1-3 genuinely cool noises maximum, and that's after you plug them through a big signal chain of other old crap, and you can't resell them for very much unless you find the exact right kind of dork, who usually has to have his mom write the check for him and pay you COD, and I have NO USE FOR ANY OF THEM ANYMORE, AT ALL.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

don't lose faith in takkyu ishino, tom!!

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

Move outta yr parents' place

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

Try a little therapy.

― Eazy, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

never ever chase after girls, another one will come soon enough

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

are you bragging?

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

hardly

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

come on, own up to your pimpness.

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

real gangsta ass niggas don't flex nuts
cause real gangsta ass niggas know they got em

― kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

This was last year, so, um, take Greek instead of Russian lit in the fall, quit hanging out with the other study abroad kids in Russia and make efforts to meet more actual Russians, and give up on that guy before Christmas break.

― Maria, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

Pick something you're interested in doing. Anything. And try your hardest to do it well, but don't be heartbroken when it doesn't work. Learning to put yourself out there and not fall flat on your face when things don't work takes a lot of practice, get it out of the way as soon as possible.

― mh, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

invent bowl-shaped tortilla chips that can hold salsa

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

Lay off the weed. Major in art. Talk to a girl once in a while.

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

It's downhill from here, buddy.

― mitya, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

That Cypriot girl - trust me, you'll know her when you see her - she's a lovely person, but she's no good for you at all...

― Stone Monkey, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

get over indie guilt

― roxymuzak, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

1. Quit the course. Start again, and this time do something you enjoy.
2. Do some work sometimes
3. You don't have to go out every night. There will still be beer and girls and bands if you have a night off once in a while.
4. Women:alwaysstick to blondes - this is very important.
5. In 2 years time, give the Style Council a fair hearing, OK?

― Dr.C, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

3. You don't have to go out every night. There will still be beer and girls and bands if you have a night off once in a while.

i should probably tape this to the door to my apartment.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

when people shit on you and put you down, 90% of the time its because they're envious of you and the things you want to achieve. so don't listen to them.

-- stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:53 (2 hours ago)

even theugh i obviously don't know the sepcifics here stevie, generally you can raise that figure to about 99% i'd say.

― pisces, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

It's only been two years so it would be:

1. Don't start watching LOST as it will ruin your life.
2. Next year, go travelling on your own just like you planned, don't wait for your friends. It will save you some very precious cash.

― Roz, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

even theugh i obviously don't know the sepcifics here stevie, generally you can raise that figure to about 99% i'd say.

-- pisces, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 5:13 PM (30 minutes ago)

i didn't want to seem conceited...

― stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

I'm impressed at all of you who consider yourselves so worthwhile envying!

― Mark C, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

- Leave him. Now. He is ruining your life. Also, when he turns up in London six years from now and professes his love to you and suggests you get married, laugh at him and walk away. Do not, under any circumstances, let this asshole screw around with you. He's not worth it and you'll just end up hurting the one you really love.

- Go to class. Not attending The Cosmos and the Earth and your resulting F will come back to haunt you.

- Lay off the booze.

- Despite what you may think, simply not paying your credit card bills will not make them go away.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

I think 20 year old me made fewer stupid mistakes than pretty much any time before or since. So it's probably something lame like "don't go on holiday with your parents, it will rain for three weeks and be crap so you might as well work through it and earn loads of money to go somewhere fun instead, but if you do insist on going then at least try and pull that Dutch girl and make it worth your while".

Alternatively "hey, for fuck's sake eat something before you start drinking, you have no idea how much embarassment it will save you".

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

yes but couldn't you warn yourself of how to avoid future mistakes?

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

Yes but then TIME PARADOX.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Terminator-2-Magnet-C11769212.jpeg

― kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

Stay home after the Holy Cross game next year. Trust me, stay the fuck home.

― Bill Magill, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

take advantage of it while you can: you're not gonna get better looking.

― remy bean, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

It's weird that my life right now is more or less a total shambles but I can't think of a thing to tell my 20 yr old self.

― wanko ergo sum, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

just move to mexico.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

Brace yourself.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

"just go to a monastery" maybe

― wanko ergo sum, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

Don't you do what I have done.

― M.V., Tuesday, 15 May 2007 18:11 (nineteen years ago)

Take salsa dancing classes now.

― Rockist Scientist, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

[i]Alternatively "hey, for fuck's sake eat something before you start drinking, you have no idea how much embarassment it will save you".[i]

you could tell your 30-yr-old self this as well (or however old you are these days)

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 18:37 (nineteen years ago)

the lotto numbers for the week of June 12, 2003 are...

― milo z, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

GOLD!
Always believe in your soul
You've got the power to KNOW
You're indestructable
Always believe it!
because you are
GOLD!
Glad that you're bound to return
There's something I could have learned
You're indestructable
Always believe it!

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

That song always cheers me up quick fast in a hurry.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

Face your fears, spend the extra year, and take ear training, solfege, and some theory. Do the choir, even. You wouldn't be selling out any more than you already are by taking guitar lessons. Writing essays about Sonic Youth albums is only going to get you so far with actually writing music.

― Sundar, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

i would tell my 20 y.o. self to bet large on an improbable sporting event.

other than that, depressing thread mostly.

i don't really understand the 'buy property' thing. even apart from it being grimly materialistic.

― That one guy that quit, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

i must admit i'd like to go back in time to 1984 and tell my nan that she should somehow scramble together the paltry sum the council were asking for her two bedroom flat in parsons green, because all her neighbours paid upwards of £500,000 for similar places. but it doesn't bother her much, nor me really.

― stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:16 (nineteen years ago)

In 3.5 years, MOVE TO DULUTH. Just trust me on this.

― dan m, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

(that's my advice, no comment on real estate prices)

― dan m, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ivebeentoduluth.net/i/i/shirt-01-s.jpg

― daria-g, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:25 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, me too. It's really great! Plus there's this girl... :/

― dan m, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:27 (nineteen years ago)

Dear me: get out. Now. He is abusing you. Yes, he is. Stop denying it to everyone. He's mistreating you. Go now, change!

Thing is, a year after that I did anyway so doing it sooner won't have made much difference hehe.

― Trayce, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

i don't really understand the 'buy property' thing. even apart from it being grimly materialistic.

Otherwise almost no-one will ever manage to own their own home?

― Mark C, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

-get tested for ADD _now_.

-do ANYTHING to get a tech job on campus. student electronics asst, unpaid research kid, anything. sign up at the co-op office as soon as possible.

-ask out that one girl you see all the time at the snack shop in the library at the beginning of the year, not the end

-there's a band out there called the Descendents who are about to reform. Go find out about them.

-get a car on campus, any car. start driving to shows in detroit.

-begin volunteering at that campus radio station

-keep rowing nightly after you quit the crew team.

-Go to office hours every fucking day.

-start taking pictures. borrow your father's camera and take it everywhere.

-you know that one shop above the wannabe pub? that's a used CD shop. Start going there, and start attending the shows you see advertised on those flyers

people to email:
-the President repeatedly with dire warnings about how he should isolate himself from all female interns
-the Vice President with suggestions about how he should ditch all those beltway types, hang out more with that one governor of vermont, and do his little enviro powerpoint thingee on national tv
-Phil Hartman and tell him to divorce his wife as soon as fucking possible

― kingfish, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:08 (nineteen years ago)

Don't worry so much about losing your virginity.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:19 (nineteen years ago)

mark: yeah kind of, but it's on the cheap credit never-never anyway, a bit. it would be nice to "own a home", of course, so i could smoke without fear and raise cats; but even if i'd got a mortgage aged twenty i wouldn't really have that: i'd just have a large monthly bill offset by the ability to borrow lots more money. (this current property bubble was underway when i was 20; if i were ten or 20 years older it'd be a different thing.)

― That one guy that quit, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:26 (nineteen years ago)

as if that twenty year old would listen to what an old bitch had to say to her.

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:27 (nineteen years ago)

many things to say and only two years have passed!
- do not take so much acid, and do NOT sell it to your good friend with some mental issues against your better judgment. there's a reason why you feel weird about it.
- stop drinking and driving. like now, you clod.
- cut that fuckin beard and moustache off.

i would say, 'do not fall apart two years from now,' but i'm still trying to figure that one out.

― the table is the table, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:32 (nineteen years ago)

do not take so much acid, and do NOT sell it to your good friend with some mental issues against your better judgment. there's a reason why you feel weird about it.

WAY WAY WAY too OTM. :{

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:38 (nineteen years ago)

Also, don't hang out with people who have mental issues as bad as/worse than yours. And quit fucking smoking weed so much.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:38 (nineteen years ago)

I think I would actually listen to future me, after I got over the shock that future me lost like 50 lbs.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:39 (nineteen years ago)

Hang out w/mental issues people while shrooming/frying, that is. You'll eat their glasses off!

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:41 (nineteen years ago)

You may be on a diet and successfully losing weight but you don't have to weigh your bran flakes before eating them, or count the number of raisins you consume, or eat two thirds of a pot of fromage frais.

Do not get totally completely utterly swept away insanely by the first man ever to kiss you one year later out of gratitude that someone finally has.

Cut your straggly witchy hair.

Do not buy clothes from Wallis. They are for women who work in offices, not students.

― ljubljana, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:09 (nineteen years ago)

But you totally made the right decision about where to go on your looming year in Russia. It will rock your mind.

― ljubljana, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:11 (nineteen years ago)

c'mon raggett, answer this thread already! ;-)

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:18 (nineteen years ago)

get a job

― deej, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:22 (nineteen years ago)

Stop doing speed, it really is not very cool. In fact it's quite shameful.

― Drooone, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:26 (nineteen years ago)

start doing speed, if it helps you get a job

― deej, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:28 (nineteen years ago)

stop drinking now.

― lurex, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:31 (nineteen years ago)

i don't know about myself, but when i see 17 and 18 year olds in my neighborhood congregating in a nervous, conspiratorial huddle RIGHT IN FRONT of the liquor store as their compatriot with the fake ID tries to score for them, I think "good work New York Public School system".

― sanskrit, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:34 (nineteen years ago)

well this is nice and cheery!

start the amazon job three months earlier, before that one stock split!
ummm, maybe don't do heroin?
and don't cheat on that one girl, she is way too awesome, you dumbass!
and don't marry that other girl, okay.

― Mike McGooney-gal, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:43 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, it's fun to have your friends push you around campus in a shopping cart all day cuz you're still drunk from yesterday and drinking, but you're taking some really fucking cool classes and you'll wish later that you had taken the opportunity to get some learnin' (especially the writing classes -- and come to think of it you should have maybe majored in English instead of German).

go now to sign up for a DJ slot at WESU - don't worry about acting nervous around that guy there you think is cute

if a guy reminds you of your step-parent (most likely in a brooding, stoned/drunk way), that shouldn't be your cue to be his puppy (but kudos on picking the songwriter over the programmer). Just cuz you made out doesn't mean you're now that someone's girlfriend. Even if you are somebody's girlfriend, hang out with other people too besides him.

No, the economy will not crash completely, thereby freeing you from your student loan obligation.

When you're done with college, move to Europe on your own if you want. You don't need to find a brooding/stoned/drunk European to take you there (and don't marry him; he's really mean and you're never going to fix him!)

― Maria :D, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:30 (nineteen years ago)

"Relax. Stop being such an INTENSE DUDE."

― Sparkle Motion, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:36 (nineteen years ago)

Start studying some Japanese.

― j-rock, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:42 (nineteen years ago)

I would share this quote I heard (can't remember who...):

"When I was 20 I worried all the time what people thought about me. When I was 30 I decided to stop caring what people thought. When I turned 60 I realized that no one had ever been thinking about me!"

for 16-yr-old self, come out earlier and you will prob get to mess around with hot boys in school

Fuck yeah lex!! I wasted my tannest, cutest years feeling guilty and paranoid about liking boys, when I could've been shagging the whole swim team.

― King Kitty, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:51 (nineteen years ago)

I wd also tell myself sure, move to Melbourne. Dont, however, do so for that guy you like. He's a basket case and will send you into a breakdown in four years time.

― Trayce, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 02:05 (nineteen years ago)

Well, there are several things I would pass on:

Learn how to break up, and how to stay broken up.

You don't have to be right about everything music-related. Other people don't always like what you like, and it's totally okay.

Not everything needs a witty remark or a "funny" observation. You're funnier when you're not hell-bent on being the life of the party.

You could be getting laid exponentially more if you knew how to a) relax, b) not waste your time on girls who just don't like you that way and c) shut the fuck up more.

― Tantrum The Cat, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 02:07 (nineteen years ago)

b and c should be tattooed on the insides of my eyelids.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 02:09 (nineteen years ago)

you know, maybe i have a learning disability.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 02:09 (nineteen years ago)

Your housemates will like you a lot more if you do the washing up a few times a week

― badg, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 02:21 (nineteen years ago)

I really don't like some of the things in this thread! I still can't stop reading though. Good thoughts all roun, well done all for making it this far beyond!

― kv_nol, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:53 (nineteen years ago)

i would have nothing to say to that little cunt

― electricsound, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:11 (nineteen years ago)

"Booze will only make you a twat."

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:14 (nineteen years ago)

don't rob
take your fucking tranquilizers, you psychotic fucktard
don't take tranquilizers and leave the oven, you will almost die
keep your eye on the lol

― luriqua, Saturday, 19 May 2007 06:06 (nineteen years ago)

Don't start threads shitting on the look dudes a few years your senior still love.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 19 May 2007 09:05 (nineteen years ago)

There's no point in life at which you can can say "Now I've arrived - now I'm content, I've finally pulled myself together/accepted myself as I am ".

― Bob Six, Saturday, 19 May 2007 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

Ditch the waistcoat and shirt thing, love, you'll look back and shudder.

Get some hypnosis, and some assertiveness lessons.

Its not unique to you, its called OCD, do something about it.

you're actually quite young. No, really.

You haven't actually accepted being gay, though you think you have. And the gay people you're hanging around with aren't helping. Ditch the gay scene for a bit, learn to like yourself, take up meditation maybe. It'll save you getting 11 years older and realising you haven't been okay about this for a long, long time.

Oh, and bleaching your hair will make it fall out. Hell, do it anyway, though.

I probably wouldn't have listened to any of this. 'cept the last one.

― hobart paving, Saturday, 19 May 2007 11:24 (nineteen years ago)

ride your bike.

― emsk, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver arent you your 20 year old self right now?

― ȡ+®, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:07 (nineteen years ago)

JUST FUCKING SPLIT UP WITH HER AND STOP BEING A DICK. then go and do a power of shagging.

― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

Yes xpost

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

There should be a sister thread to this which explains the cryptic advices.

― libcrypt, Saturday, 19 May 2007 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

maybe you really should go to disney world with the rest of your family, instead of, you know, staying inside of that dark house for one month straight, being nocturnal, and listening to this mortal coil all the fucking time.

― andi, Saturday, 19 May 2007 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

Listen to more AC/DC.

― kenan, Saturday, 19 May 2007 18:23 (nineteen years ago)

"GET YOUR ASS TO MARS."

― schwantz, Saturday, 19 May 2007 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

FINISH SCHOOL. Quit being so boy-crazy already. Don't be such a rockist. Also, that stuff your dad says isn't true, so don't let it affect your life in such a manner that you shoot yourself in the foot just to spite him.

― Morley Timmons, Saturday, 19 May 2007 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

Don't let your parents and brother make you feel so guilty. Don't open their letters, don't pick up their phone calls (started at 23 and life=easier x2k).

― Abbott, Saturday, 19 May 2007 20:00 (nineteen years ago)

"sorry, the vikings still suck"

― the sir weeze, Saturday, 19 May 2007 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

that trend you hold on to so hard -- it'll be ass-backwards soon. by the time you catch up, you'll be ass-backwards again.

― PappaWheelie V, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

"cheer up, little guy"

― andi, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

also: quit hanging out in the fucking dark so much. switch a light on and fix your sleeping schedule, you bloody goth!

― andi, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

Poll: Ten Crack Commandments

― milo z, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

No, the economy will not crash completely, thereby freeing you from your student loan obligation.

lolz i was so sure this would happen too!

― bell_labs, Saturday, 19 May 2007 23:26 (nineteen years ago)

Learn how to start a lawnmower.

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 20 May 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

Stop spending so much time in the pub and go to some classes. You'll be less inclined to drop out of university and spectacularly underachieve. Also, not every band the NME recommends is worth spending your money on. You'll look back at your record collection in ten years time and wish it was better.

― ailsa, Sunday, 20 May 2007 15:18 (nineteen years ago)

seven years pass...

"GET YOUR ASS TO MARS."

― schwantz, Saturday, May 19, 2007 6:30 PM (7 years ago)

lol

― local eire man (darraghmac), Friday, 24 October 2014 23:49 (eleven years ago)

Don't worry if you don't feel academically qualified for the majors you want to pursue. Many of your burnout space-case high school friends will end up with successful careers mostly because they picked something and stuck with it.

― raccoon shipoopi (how's life), Saturday, 25 October 2014 00:59 (eleven years ago)

seven months pass...

I've thought a lot about what advice Id give my 20 year old self. But there's nothing I'd tell him not to do, because he wouldn't listen to me anyway, and the embarrassing humiliating things I did back then (eventually) made me a better person. Instead I would say this: Achieving extraordinary goals requires that you do a lot of very ordinary things. Don't put off doing these things, because otherwise your future self (me) is going to regret the time you wasted in ways that you can't begin to comprehend or even imagine.

― passive-aggressive rageaholic (snoball), Saturday, 6 June 2015 19:23 (eleven years ago)

I'd basically tell myself to quit feeling like the world owed me anything, not to shun people who are trying to be friendly, to not sacrifice the future for the present, and mostly, to move out of my parents' house and never move back in.

I feel like my life rebooted at age 28 and often regret the years I wasted prior to that.

― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 6 June 2015 20:04 (eleven years ago)

one month passes...

Kill yourself.

― emil.y, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 23:27 (ten years ago)

― Evan, Thursday, 9 July 2015 00:50 (ten years ago)

eight years pass...

god, i've thought about this one a lot. i have these little conversations in my head with 20-year-old me. i don't know what to say to them. some middle-aged transsexual shows up at their doorstep and says "hi, i'm you from the future"? i'm 30-year-old me's worst nightmare, but 20-year-old me... i just got kicked out of school because my oldest brother made death threats from my internet account. i got no idea what the hell is going on with my gender. what the hell do i say to them? "so ok you're a girl, but nobody is going to believe you if you tell them that. hell, _you_ probably don't believe that, nevermind that i'm standing here in front of you right now." and then what? what are they supposed to do? move across the country to portland or seattle, make money doing sex work, live on the streets? find a place to get bootleg estrogen, because god knows nobody would prescribe it _legally_? live my best twink life until i can transition? stay in the midwest but just start wearing dresses and let people treat me like shit? my mom _probably_ wouldn't kick me out of the house if i started wearing dresses. _probably_.

i guess other shit i'd say would be, like. you're weird, but you're not ugly. your hair is really pretty, you should let it grow out. don't bother with a beard. don't bother with benzos, they'll fuck you up. wearing dresses will help you more than taking benzos will, even if you can only do it in private. makeup is hard and don't worry about it if you're bad at it. you might also wanna try taking ADHD meds, it'll help you concentrate. you definitely have ADHD. also autism. sex won't actually fix any of your problems, you don't like it, don't bother with it. don't bother with drugs, either. i know you're hoping they'll give you some great epiphany about your life, well, here i am, i've just given you it, you're a girl. only drug that's gonna do you any good is estrogen. well and the antidepressants and mood stabilizers and shit as well.

i don't know if that's good advice or bad advice. i don't know what my 20 year old self would make of me. i think they'd find me super scary but also super cool. is what i think.

― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 5 March 2024 16:00 (two years ago)

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