So if there's this girl you really like and you're thinking about going to the cinema with her, but fears she might think you're coming on to her

i'd like some girls to answer to this obviously. guys too though

A movie is a great idea because you won't need to talk all the time, so if you don't "click" it's not as awkward as for example a dinner or something. That said, I would go for a drink beforehand/afterwards so you can still talk. Just a movie (straight to the cinema and then back home) doesn't give much opportunity to socialize/chat. A movie is also very "neutral": it's not so much a come-on (?). Then again I did once go to a movie with a guy and he STARED at me during the whole movie. I really wanted to run away.

Also, DO IT. What do you have to lose?

what i have to lose is the situation as it now is, free, fun. it might become awkward after the whole date thing and she sees i'm really into her

man, as im writing this i feel silly. i'm just gonna do it

I dunno, in my social circles if people want to just to see a film, usually they ask more than one people to come. Asking one specific person to go with you to the cinema would definitely be considered a date. Then again, if you want to date her, I see nothing wrong with that.

(x-post)

i did ask her to go out with me, as friends/colleagues and she wants to, she actually proposed dinner. so maybe combine that with cinema.

yeah....but she's really not into me as much as i'm into her, i think. it's a damn shame

xpost

i rarely go to see a movie. but Superbad seems like a blast and she loves to laugh too

thanks guys

also, it's an obvious sign she's not into me on the level i'm into her when i'm always the one who starts talking to her. almost always. sometimes i feel like a freak, emailing her about work stuff and then quickly moving on to personal things

she looked awesome yesterday, all black with a big red belt, beautiful red earrings. long black hair in a pony tail, lusicous lips. huge brown eyes....a smile to die for.

another thing that makes me feel like this doesnt stand a chance is the fact that she's muslim. she doesnt look like one but her family is pretty traditional in their beliefs

i'm just making myself crazy, i need distraction

Also, DO IT. What do you have to lose?

And you can always post on the 'minor embarrassments' thread if it goes bad.

Actually, I think Tuomas is onto something - there is some ambiguity about whether this is a date or not - and its a work colleague.

Hah. Bob, don't discourage him!

I think you're overanalyzing this all too much. She's not aware of how you feel. But you need to let her know. In a way give her a change to show you feel. I'm not saying "stalk" or "show obsessive behavior" in the sense that; like the guy I went out with, STARE at her or continue to contact her *if* she's not into you. But you got to create an opportunity for her to discover if she might like you in the same way as you do. I'm rambling, but what I mean is: relax, take a chill pill, ask her out and have some FUN. :-) Hey, if she's not into you, then *shrug* you'll discover it instead of regretting never having tried. And maybe you can become friends...

It all depends but I don't always equate cinema with a date.

i dread the day she says look you're a cool guy, but i'm not really into you in that way

although i already know it

but yeah, dont discourage me, i'm gonna do it anyway. i can't really control it anymore

stay tuned ;)

Well, look at this way: You'll know you're a cool guy. :-) I know how difficult it is. Shit, we've been all in that situation, having to ask someone out or having to wait if the guy/girl will phone or not. Think of that, that you're not alone. :-)

she told me she wore red panties yesterday too...argh! i thought wtf yo....why you teasing me

but she;s fun like that

haha i'm going insane....

and yeah, it helps i'm not alone. i never had it likes this though

you're saying a lot of negative stuff about what you think she thinks of you, and yet... you're going out to a movie (right?), and she talks about her underwear?

i understand the need to hedge your bets, mentally, but this sounds promising, apart from you being down about it!

i asked her why she didnt wear red shoes, cos she was dressed all black and red. and then she said she had on red underwear, yeah. God i know!

the biggest part of my negative idea about this is the muslim thing. not because i care, but because her family will, and she might want a muslim guy herself

we didnt plan the movie yet, i asked her to go out (as friends) and she said she'd rather not go to a bar, but have dinner or something. and today i thought of the movie thing cos i saw the Superbad trailer

> she told me she wore red panties yesterday too...

And you think she's not into you?!???!?!!

haha i know. but she told that like she'd tell one of her girlfriends...i think

if she was really into me, wouldn't she send an email now and then. ask me how i am, what i'm doing...stuff like that (we're not in the same office)

she asks stuff like that, but only if i go up to her to chit chat. maybe she doesnt cos she knows i'll be around everyday? but still, with past things like this (not this heavy though) girls would mail me constantly. and she doesn't.

Some women - esp. those from a very conservative background - have trouble being socially forward. Although I admit that the talking about underwear with casual acquaintances thing kind of throws a wrench in that idea.

yeah but the underwear thing is more like an extreme, so that makes it different. it's not personal in the way some social stuff is, like serious matter

i've noticed she hardly talks about herself and lets me do most of the talking. only yesterday i got her to tell me what she'd do this weekend. and it wasn't that interesting haha

Wait till you tell her about your weekend: "Oh, Saturday afternoon I hung out with guys online, discussing your underwear on an internet message board.." lol

whahaha

Don't make a move on her in the movie theatre. I know it's a classic seduction moment but in reality it really, really doesn't work.

superbad is a great choice, i think.

dunno if yr kidding or not, but yes!!

Calm down! It sounds like she thinks you're great. Just try to relax and have fun. Don't second guess yourself the whole time, just have fun and she'll think you're a blast too.

Also, don't fabricate yourself new worries based on he background: I can tell you for real not every member in a family may share the same beliefs, or to the same degree. Did you ever see "Bend It Like Backham"?

hah thanks Abbott! and no i havent seen that movie, i do have an idea what its about though

i do feel inferior to her, based on looks. i must see one of her ex bf's. that'll make me feel more at ease, or not

FUCKING SEE SUPERBAD it is one of the best films I have ever seen in a cinema, no joking.

judge her on her superbad-taking abilities.

'Knocked Up' would have been an interesting one to try.

TNRASFROMMERS

the thread title makes me think of Taxi Driver (couldn't find the shot of them in the porno theatre tho ;_;)
http://thisdistractedglobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/Taxi%20Driver.png

yeah, we're seeing Superbad

!

!
!
!!!!

!

Mark C, my bf made his move on me in the cinema and it worked like a dream, but then I could see it coming ten miles off so was prepared.

Rizzx, if the last 5 minutes of Superbad don't have you embracing, very little will. We're talking one of the most touchingly romantic scenes I've ever seen in film. No jokes. I won't spoil it any more though.

You mean the credits, right

haha! Might be a buzzkill...

Ljubljana, last time I tried it (and as a result I haven't tried it for 17 years) we were watching a kinda sad movie - no idea which one any more - and as I planted a big old snog on her, I realised, just too late, that she'd been crying and her nose had been running. A lot. Result = mouthful o' mucus, and not mucus I might have found acceptable.

the first ten minutes aren't very romantic, and do include the line "have you ever seen a vagina on its own? (grimace) not for me."

this thread is better named.. "so if i'm trying to come onto this girl but fears she might think you're coming on to her"?

replace i'm with you're obv

so, not actually better then?

no, but more accurate

hold up a second

another thing that makes me feel like this doesnt stand a chance is the fact that she's muslim. she doesnt look like one but her family is pretty traditional in their beliefs
-- rizzx, Saturday, 27 October 2007 12:40

what no beard + turban?

If I was your girlfriend
Would u remember 2 tell me all the things u forgot
When I was your man?
Hey, when I was your man
If I was your best friend
Would u let me take care of u and do all the things
That only a best friend can
Only best friends can

If I was your girlfriend
If I was your girlfriend

If I was your girlfriend
Would u let me dress u
I mean, help u pick out your clothes
Before we go out
Not that youre helpless
But sometimes, sometimes
Those are the things that bein in loves about
If I was your one and only friend
Would u run 2 me if somebody hurt u
Even if that somebody was me?
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be
Please

If I was your girlfriend
If I was your girlfriend

Would u let me wash your hair
Could I make u breakfast sometime
Or then, could we just hang out, I mean
Could we go 2 a movie and cry together
Cuz 2 me baby that would be so fine

If I was your girlfriend
Baby can I dress u
I mean, help u pick out your clothes
Before we go out
(if I was your girlfriend)
Listen girl, I aint sayin youre helpless
But sometimes, sometimes
Those are the things that bein in loves about (sugar)

Sugar do u know what Im saying 2 u this evening? (sugar)
Maybe u think Im being
A little self-centered (if I was your girlfriend)
But i, I said I want 2 be (sugar)
All of the things u are 2 me (sugar)
Surely, surely u can see (if I was your girlfriend)
{{title repeated in background}}
Is it really necessary 4 me 2 go out of the room
Just because u wanna undress?
I mean, we dont have 2 make children 2 make love
And then, we dont have 2 make love 2 have an orgasm
Your bodys what Im all about
Can I see u?
Ill show u
Why not?
U can think its because Im your friend Ill do it 4 u
Of course Ill undress in front of u!
And when Im naked, what shall I do?
How can I make u see that its cool?
Cant u just trust me?
If I was your girlfriend u could
Oh, yeah, I think so
Listen, 4 u naked I would dance a ballet
Would that get u off?
Then tell me what will!
If I was your girlfriend, would u tell me?
Would u let me see u naked then?
Would u let me give u a bath?
Would u let me tickle u so hard ud laugh and laugh
And would u, would u let me kiss u there
You know down there where it counts
Ill do it so good I swear Ill drink every ounce
And then Ill hold u tight and hold u long
And together well stare into silence
And well try 2 imagine what it looks like
Yeah, well try 2 imagine what, what silence looks like
Yeah, well try 2 imagine what silence looks like
Yeah, well try...

Ooops, I'll probably have Prince's lawyers onto me now.

she thinks he's gay, right? anybody else getting this?

any update on how this worked out, or is that too soon?

the above comment isn't meant in a nasty way, more speaking from plenty of personal experience, btw.

TRY THE POPCORN TRICK, IT IS A SUREFIRE WINNER

no she doesn't think i'm gay, we've talked plenty about relationships and/or girls

i'm waiting for Superbad to premiere in my region of The Netherlands

we're slowly bonding, i feel better about all this then a week ago actually.

you could have a date without seeing 'superbad', maybe?

i'm waiting for Superbad to premiere in my region of The Netherlands

after the POPCORN TRICK line, I read this is as "waiting for Superbad to premiere in my nether regions."

haha me too, milo!

glad i could help

i'm confuse, have you decided you *are* hitting on her now...?

no not really

i dreamt about her, this doesn't help much

i'm waiting for Superbad to premiere in my region of The Netherlands

BEST EUPHEMISM EVER

we're slowly bonding, i feel better about all this then a week ago actually.

you will never get with this girl.

what a weird ass thread

you want to come on to a girl but dont want her to think you want to come on to her

elan knows what's up.

^^yes. congratulations homie you are in the friendzone.

what is wrong with her thinking that you're coming onto her? isn't that the idea?

he's mayor of the zone

congratulations homie you are in the friendzone.

i hate this zone, it is the worst zone

tracer otm -- i think o.p. can fix this. we're rooting for ya son.

editorial we.

lol every dude on ilx is intimately familiar with the friend zone

i hate this zone, it is the worst zone

-- Jordan, Friday, 9 November 2007 16:39 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

^^^real talk. When you get to that point, it's time to drunkenly ass-grab.

rule #55 of internet: if a relationship is mooted on a messageboard before it happens, it will never happen

it's ok if i don't get with her, she just invaded my head with her presence. and while knowing better i decided to roll with it. keeps me busy

what is wrong with her thinking that you're coming onto her? isn't that the idea?
no, the idea is to slowly make her realise what a great guy i am

x-post.

the slower she realises, the more chance of it being a friendship. the quicker, the likelier a relationship. ever heard of the term "coup de foudre"?

listen to the expert

the friendzone is ok, she's a colleague. i've had worse colleagues than her

x-post - see, i know she's gonna be shocked if i'm too direct in that sense. we talked about relationships, she's comfy not having one right now. that's why...slow

a great guy to cry to about all of the other guys she fucks

xxxp

rule 55 is spot on though haha

Hey, the friendzone ain't too bad rizzy, you get to go shoe shopping with her, bitch about all the latest gossip, just PIG OUT on ice cream and pizza when you're both feeling down... it'll be fabulous.

i'm not sure what the deal is. rizz has a date lined up with her, so it's not all gloomy. you gotta want it, tho.

a great guy to cry to about all of the other guys she fucks

xxxp

-- elan, Friday, November 9, 2007 11:47 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

So OTM!

i mean, i could be wrong. i've never hit on a european muslim so maybe it's different with them. like they probably reproduce through mitosis so the whole seduction process is really different. "come on baby, cut those microtubules! ugh"

um

listen to the expert

an expert in FAILURE

You guys are all wrong. The friendzone does exist, but not all cases are like this. Case in point: hung out with a girl a bunch in a "friend" way for like a month. Was sure I was in the friend zone. Told her how I felt anyway, she reciprocated, and we jsut both didn't say anytihng because our respective situations were both completely non-condusive to having any sort of romantic relationship (perhaps another story for another day). But then since we both knew that we felt the same, we ended up making a go of it anyway. SO DAMN YOUR FRIENDZONE TALK, WHO ARE YOU CHRIS ROCK?

xxxp man, i thought i was misogynistic, but you guys are like, unfalteringly unironic about your sweeping generalizations, huh.

it's not gloomy at all, it's all fun up to this point

haha elan, no. i would assume such things, and respond the way you do. but you know, you really have to know a person to judge them like that

xxxpost

will m otm

will m otm indeed

wow will, get one sense of humor

i wish you luck rizzx! please continue posting about this terrible tribulation!

it sounds like she already realises what a great guy you are, she wants to go have dinner w/you!

on the real, sorry about being a dick on this thread. i'm just bitter.

yeah thanks, i sure will. it's been interesting so far. all the responses

xpost - true Tracer

i wasn't really talking about your comment elan so much as everyone's apparent sullen agreement which was fully not in jest.

err, that was directed @ elan

hey rizz i hope the thing works out with your coworker with the red lips. i've been in the friendzone, i've made shit happen with women right away at times, i've had bad luck in love blaj blah who gives a fuck about what ilx dudes have or haven't done m8 just keep talking to her!

Homeboy, you’re a wuss! Just ask her ‘ Moomkin almiss bizazeek?’ and be done with it.

elan, i'm a bitter son of a bitch as well. but sometimes beauty slaps it right out of your system. i didnt think it could happen either

xpost - i know i'm a wuss, i try to hide it with this slow approach and talk sensible about it

send her a love-letter

but the friend zone is real. my suggestion is to stop answering your phone for two weeks while you do something awesome you know she will hear about.

lj, don't you know that nobody reads anymore?! that shit screams "i'm a serial killer"

i will never write loveletters anymore

i'm a bitter son of a bitch as well. but sometimes beauty slaps it right out of your system. i didnt think it could happen either

fucking insanely otm

I was going to be all this is never going to work, everyone OTM, then I remembered there was one girl just like Will's situation. Thought she was out of my league so just hung out with her as friends then one night we got drunk and she pretty much jumped on me. Afterwards she said she'd nearly given up trying to get me notice her. I'm completely oblivious to all female signals though. Mind you it didn't work out anyway and we ended up in the friendzone after all! We're still good friends now 6 years later.

i remember when ilx had female posters : /

you can leave the friendzone, you just have to have no expectations of doing so

i was agreeing with elen mostly in jest but also because that shit could very well be true in some cases. maybe not in this instance but to think that there are not women who keep guy friends around for that purpose would be kind of naive.

hah Colonel, nice. the oblivious part is so true, i need a woman to tell me that sorta stuff

i always think i know people so well but that's one thing i can never understand

deej - that's indeed how it is

i'm also pretty bitter though

the problem with love letters is that they are fundamentally ungenerous and selfish. the impetus is: "i want x to see exactly what i am feeling and then feel the same," completely skipping over the question "would x really want to read about any of that?" by writing a letter you've given the poor girl homework, the assignment being: learn about my inner life in great detail then get back to me kthx. why not give her something more enjoyable, like, a good time??

(not directed at anyone in particular, lol)

otm though, such thoughts are the last i would want her to have

i am reminded of a song by kerri chandler, it goes a little like this:

nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing
nothing, nothing

our love is over
our love is over
our love is over
our love is over

boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk
boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk
boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk
boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk
boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk
boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk
boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk
boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk boom tschk

I don't think it's leaving the friendzone that's actually that hard - it's the returning to the friendzone which is impossible 90% of the time, so if someone really likes being friends with you -- especially if it's a long-term friendship -- they're going to be naturally circumspect and weigh it up a bit

you know what it is? i think the world FORCES people to be oblivious about whether someone else likes them-- because the concept of being like "she hasn't said anything, but i know she likes me" is almost nauseatingly arrogant, isn't it?

that was in ref to col. poo/rizzx re: oblivious, there are a lot of threads of convo going on in hurr

Nauseating arrogance can be attractive.

I don't find it attractive in myself, however.

answer yourself one question- "am i, in fact, coming on to this girl."

no, not yet

Whatever you do, don't get to that Mark from Peep Show stage when the chance presents itself and your brain is going "THIS IS MY CHANCE, THIS MY CHANCE, I'm... right this minute missing my chance" and then she gets up and leaves.

Better to blaze it over the bar from five yards than not take a shot at all.

rizzx, you do have other friends,right?
do you really need another friend that bad?
take your shot! so it goes badly... call up real friends and have a beer.

there is no such thing as 'not yet'

you're not being at all honest about this. i think we're all aware that you're not coming on to her RIGHT NOW.

the point is that you definitely intend to in the near future. and there's nothing wrong with that, just y'know, include it in your gameplan.

yeah, there's gonna come a point when i can't hold it back anymore. i'm very aware

and after that, if it all fails, it's gonna be alllll awkward

but at least you'll know where you stand

Dude if she's a real friend and it doesn't work out she'll understand and be nice about it*, so there shouldn't be any awkwardness.

Also even if you work together the badness will wear off much quicker than you think - it's always better to have the "this is definitely not happening so let's move on" feeling than the torturous "will we won't we?" thing.

*Unless you do something creepy. Don't do something creepy.

i recommend coming up behind her as she's walking, matching her pace, not saying anything for a few moments and then going "this is a bit weird"

wait actually don't do that

I'm so glad I'm not the only person who thought of that.

give her a bullet with her name and a heart carved onto it

i dont understand why dude just doesn't make this thoroughly clear, like 'go out with me to the movies' or something

movies are bad first dates tho

it's movie and dinner. and i did say it like that

let's go out sometime, she mentioned dinner, i put in the movie. cos i like to laugh and have a beautiful girl laughing with me

that sounds like a date ... UH OH ... she might think you like her!!! better back off now

jk nice work

lol

we know we like eachother, i'm just not sure how she likes me

she probably doesnt know either

she hasn't really thought about it probably

there's always this charming, awkward line. "i think i have a crush on you!" <-- think is vital; if it doesn't work ou you can always jsut say" oh, i guess it's just that i like hanging out w/ you so much i got confused." it's SO cowardly, but may work in a pinch!

hah! it's very likely it's gonna be like that. we already did something like that in an innocent way

because people notice me being around her more than anyone else, and this other girl actually said to us 'oh there's the lovey dovey couple again' (i can't think of how to translate it otherwise, sorry)

and we both said 'oh its that obvious is it?'

yeah....uhm

she likes you, kiss her!

wait you guys, this thread is the emo equivalent of those "i can't decide which of these girls i should allow to fuck me" threads isn't it, where there is actually no dilemma at all, it's just bragging.

i'm getting rusty!

To be fair, I don't think it started as such.

well it follows the same formula: "give me advice about something you couldn't possibly be in a position to judge"

ok, fair.

but it is kind of fun to learn the story, breadcrumb by breadcrumb, and live vicariously through someone else every once in a while, no?!

Tracer OTM. Though I don't think the intent is bragging actually, but more like wanting to collectively massage the tantalizing prospect. It's like a courting circle jerk.

Given how reticent most humans are to confess their attraction to the object of their attraction, this lady's actions and statements are practically a billboard-sized invitation.

wait you guys, this thread is the emo equivalent of those "i can't decide which of these girls i should allow to fuck me" threads isn't it, where there is actually no dilemma at all, it's just bragging.

i'm getting rusty!

-- Tracer Hand, Friday, November 9, 2007 6:13 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

haha

She has set the table.

JUST RAPE HER,DUDE

oy. genre conventions.

noooooo
i'm too insecure about this to be bragging

hah! it's very likely it's gonna be like that. we already did something like that in an innocent way

because people notice me being around her more than anyone else, and this other girl actually said to us 'oh there's the lovey dovey couple again' (i can't think of how to translate it otherwise, sorry)

and we both said 'oh its that obvious is it?'

yeah....uhm

-- rizzx, Friday, November 9, 2007 1:10 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

I WAS WRONG, KISS HER IMMEDIATELY

on the lips too, none of this namby-pamby-both-cheeks bullshit, huck your tongue in there like your favourite dog is starving in her mouth and your face is a steak

:-/

(jus' kidding, I like that one!)

SHE'S NOT IN MY VICINITY AT THE MOMENT

rizzx, we're now all invested in this. please report back.

No intense tonguing in the first kiss!

^^^true, do not take my previous face-steak advice

I've never enjoyed having the lower half of my face turned into drooled-on har=mburger

abbott is lying
take the advice anyway

http://www.republicanvoices.org/kerry_waffle_man.jpg

Hey, look, it's Will M. dodging about disgusting makeouts!

No intense tonguing in the first kiss!

I def. agree with this is as a general guideline, and hate to impose tongue on anyone, but there are sometimes certain first kisses that are so long awaited by both parties, and therefore so cathartic, that tongues spontaneously and mutually come into play.

man this tread is a bitch to find! couldn't find it with search at all
stupid

well, quick update. the date is next week friday, dinner + movie
but
we do dinner at a greek, so i said to hear that we should be aware of our choice cos we couldnt kiss eachother anymore after eating there. well, colleagues dont kiss eachother, she said. oh...true
and then she said, after that, but i dont care, i like greek

it's very obvious to me that she doesnt see this as a date, just colleagues having dinner and a good time...
i think she will chuckle when i tell her how i feel about this, that i think she's gorgeous and very very attractive to me

You could bookmark this thread. :-)

g'luck man. you may yet be john cusack to her superbabe.

well, colleagues dont kiss eachother, she said. oh...true
and then she said, after that, but i dont care, i like greek

this is almost as blatant a come-on as I can think of.

for real? see i have no clue about those things when it involves myself

its crazy that i said that though, being so calculating about it, i still cant control my spontaneous urges...she better watch out ;)

don't take JGO's advice on romance

apologies louis, not to be mean, but.....

i do think I can trust my own gut feeling on this if i didn't feel too insecure about it all....

dude i've received so much advice i am like a walking encyclopedia of romance

^^^pathos is unbearable

i hear that encyclopidiae are just what yer girl-about-town are after now.

jokes, bruv etc.

this thread = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Densha_Otoko

I disagree that it sounds like a come-on, JGO. But then again, not only are we just reading it in text w/o intonation, but also it's being translated from another language to English, so something may be lost...

My reading possibly tempered by the fact I am half-Greek Cypriot :D

bring lube.

That's super weird, I think I know someone who's half English & half Greek-Cypriot. It is not LJ, though.

Given that there's an enormous Greek Cypriot community in North London, the chances of this are higher than you might think.

Oh all right then.

no movie!

hey rizzx, you ever crack that ass?

dats wat ayem talkin bout

Oh yeah, never bond before bone - the 3 bs I call it. This girl I'm into, I've avoided her for a month until I have the free time to actually take her out. Once your friends or whatever, a kiss is impossible to pull off. too awkward.

not sure what you mean by crack that ass

we're not friends friends though, work friends, something like that
there's a difference i think

rizzx, i don't mean to come across all cynical, but you're not pulling our collective leg or anythign liek that?

uh no

i dont see the point in that

is superbad out in finland yet?

no idea, i'm in the netherlands

Oh yeah, never bond before bone - the 3 bs I call it. This girl I'm into, I've avoided her for a month until I have the free time to actually take her out. Once your friends or whatever, a kiss is impossible to pull off. too awkward.

-- burt_stanton, Thursday, November 15, 2007 7:41 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

RONG, the awkward makes it so adorable/fun, if you're both into it it's kind of amazing!

btw what's up with this lady? are the two of you gallivanting across holland, painting it red yet?

so this died. but yesterday it was valentines day. nothing special for me, no g/f yet and all.

but when i came in today i found an e-card in my box. sent by her! motherfuck, i thought. that's kind of weird. opened it and she wrote something like...hey i couldn't help myself but to write you happy valentine's day.

me = confused (as i got the feeling she didn't really want anything)

so i pondered and pondered. asked some women what to do and such. ended up sending her an e-card back, dinner for two style. wrote a poem (!) inside, a romantic poem but with a wink, a bit humorous.
asked her to have dinner with me.

she replied, 2 hours after reading the damn thing...
(rough translation)
hey mr. romance

that's so sweet, thanks a lot.
i didn't think i'd meet such a romantic guy in my life, i kinda gave up hope!

but yeah, a dinner would be good. but with no expectations. just as friends.

ok?

something like that

so now i'm back to mid-november with my feelings towards her, i kind of was over it by now

good thing is that i have another 'project' (sorry haha) going, so this isn't something i'm gonna focus on deeply

dont know if anyone cares, sorry for the lack of updates. there wasn't really news before today

yeah

in my INbox

Yeah you need to quit second-guessing yourself so goddamn much. Make ONE move, just one!

take her out to dinner and make a move dumbshit

max/Abbott otm

haha i need confirmation i know. bad

but this happens a lot right. no expectations = yeah right

right?

max/Abbott/HI DERE otm. Eventually, you have to actually risk something. And, anyway, it's a gentleman's obligation to be forthright: if you do it, she doesn't have to.

yeah i hate to get turned down

oh man, thats the worst feeling ever

yeah you know what else a shitty feeling is not ever getting laid because youre a big fat pussy

hahaha

you all rule

i would lay a big fat pussy

but with no expectations. just as friends.

ok?

sounds like hes already rejected??

You never know. Girls is complicated.

you know what ELSE is a shitty feeling is there's a guy you like a lotty lot and it seems there's some electricity going on but he NEVER FUCKING DOES A GODDAMN THING ABOUT IT and constantly assumes the worst????? And you have no idea WHY and it's confusing and stupid and irritating. THAT my friend is a shitty feeling for a lady!

Didn't you say she was Muslim or something? If she was brought up conservative as I was, it may have been pounded into her head approx 483 million times that making any kind of "move" on a guy (asking them out, initiating hand-holding or smooching, etc.) will make them think you are a worthless slut? And how insanely hard that is to get over no matter how wrong it is? Maybe sending you an ecard was a BIG FUCKING DEAL and a HARD MOVE for her, so go buy her a delicious dinner, you fool!

And make it clear you fell ROMANTICAL-LIKE, not just friends. It's not like you're talking to her now as "just friends" anyway! Thiongs can only get better if you actually swallow your fear and DO something for christ's sakes!

i agree Abbott, she's muslim yeah. and brought up fairly conservative. it's hard to grasp that as a guy who's been brought up as liberal and straight forward as myself. or most of us for that matter

see how it sounds? a little unrational
a lot of mc's like to use the word romantical

If my ex girlfriend is staying at my house and asked "(for) us not to get too drunk tonight" does that mean she wants to hit it or not?

"no" but secretly yes, duh!

she wants to fuck you but have it not be her fault

it bears repeating: duh! anyway...

And make it clear you fell ROMANTICAL-LIKE, not just friends. It's not like you're talking to her now as "just friends" anyway! Thiongs can only get better if you actually swallow your fear and DO something for christ's sakes!

super otm. you OWE IT TO HER to let her know how you feel. it's dishonest to carry on otherwise. why put her through hell just to spare yourself a little grief?

Get her face tattooed on your chest before this dinner date. Come up with an appropriate moment, like maybe when the drink orders have been put in, then rip your shirt off, give her a thumbs-up and wink at her until she tells you she loves you.

She wants to spend time with you around v day, and wants you to post about it on your message board.

If my ex girlfriend is staying at my house and asked "(for) us not to get too drunk tonight"

wow, that could totally be interpreted either way.

Dude's confusion on this one makes way more sense after seeing that "rough translation" e-mail: "I had given up on finding someone so romantic, P.S. JUST FRIENDS"

But one possible translation of that = "yes I want to go out with you but I am insanely nervous about intimacy and afraid of moving at anything above an incredibly slow pace that I have complete control over, so I preface things that are actually dates by saying NO EXPECTATIONS / don't get any ideas / etc."

Which would require YOU, dude, to drop all second-guessing and confusion and anxiety -- because she will provide plenty on her own -- and be all constant and forthright and reassuring. Two people being anxious just leads to miscommunication city

this is like hari all over again

Got introduced to you by a friend
You were cute and all that, baby you set the trend
Yes you did oh
The next thing I know we're down at the cinema
We're sitting there, you start kissing me
What's that about?

hey mr. romance

that's so sweet, thanks a lot.
i didn't think i'd meet such a romantic guy in my life, i kinda gave up hope! (should have inserted a wink lol emoticon here)

but yeah, a dinner would be good. but with no expectations. just as friends.

ok? (so no gonna happen)

i mean i would be shocked if this thread is revived with a post reading "SUCCESS!"

responding to email = very romantic

sometimes, young one, the attempt is a success of its own

UNLEARN THE LESSON

DRIED DUNG

sometimes, young one, the attempt is a success of its own

this is what i have to tell myself. and yeah, i have to be the one who is constant, forthright and reassuring

and if all fails, cos somehow i don't think the word succes will ever come from my keyboard in this thread,: plan b

i mean i would be shocked if this thread is revived with a post reading "SUCCESS!"

what happened here?

I need closure on this anecdote!

What's funny about infatuation anecdotes/advice is that people will want to know whatever happened to that person you couldn't stop thinking about and discussing, when you just simply lost the crush and don't care anymore about the crushee.