Small Concessions to Your Wants You Wish The World Would Give You

One request per person. No big-ticket items like socialized medicine for all or fantasy-land stuff like "a guy shows up at my door every morning, hands me two grand, and compliments me on my choice of wardrobe as he leaves." (Those of you who haven't tried that one, though, I gotta say I recommend it.) Just small things that would be pleasant to have.

Here, I'll start: boxing on regular television once a week. Not The Contender or any repackaged-for-people-who-aren't-boxing-fans stuff. Just an hourly show, on network TV once a week, with boxing matches.

comfier seats on public transport/air travel, unless that's too wide ranging.

Mine is infinity requests per person

Right now, what I would like fulfilled is the modest enough request that I get enough students to give me ten measly hours of tutoring a week. I know they're out there! It wouldn't take much! This would bring a wonderful and much-needed stability to my, and my family's, life.

coverage of year-round tennis on uk tv instead of football

or a functioning london transport system

one or the other

you must choose

i choose tennis

lex will need the functioning transport system to escape the angry football fans

Oddbins in Glasgow discontinued Chilean pisco a few years ago, I wish they hadn't done that.

If the boiler is not to generate heat or hot water, I would like it to do this nothing for free.

Can someone give my wife a job please?

I wish my wife was a more adventurous eater. It's getting to the point where anything fancier than hamburgers or macaroni and cheese turns into class warfare a la "why do you have to have everything so fancy? It all just gets crapped out the next day."

an Indian restaurant in my town (it's a college town for crying out loud)

Fewer cables.

an Indian restaurant in my town (it's a college town for crying out loud)

or in the OTHER college town 8 miles away that actually has a lot of Indian students; either one would be fine by me.

The DVDs of the crazed Australian soap opera Chances. I just found out there is a Volume 3!! More info here:

My Link Title

Ugh that should be:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chances

Recruitment agencies consider people who might currently be unemployed.

What snoball said!

Lies

a stove that is level so that my egg beaters don't all slide into one side of the skillet and give me half moon shaped eggs alla time

My mortgage paid, and a series of long hugs.

a stove that is level so that my egg beaters don't all slide into one side of the skillet and give me half moon shaped eggs alla time

HAHAHAHA OTM

u guys can make yr own stove dreams come true super easily u know

that girls i fall for wouldnt have a bf of four years

that girls i fall for wouldnt have a bf of four years

― oh, whineypause (k3vin k.), Monday, 27 April 2009 16:23 (6 seconds ago) Bookmark

1 extra hour a day.

four year itch - take some initiative u guys jeez

The right to flight equality with the larger traveller, meaning:

Those of us who are small/thin/under 150 pounds will like this. Air weight should comprise you and your luggage for the purposes of extra charges, so a 200 lb person with 50 lbs of luggage would be the same as a 120 lb person with 80 lbs of luggage. I'd never be para about overweight charges travelling again. As an oft-flattened seat partner of behemoth businessmen, this may just be revenge fantasies on my part.

i support this proposal 1000%

i can't choose between having a level stove and girls not having bfs :-/

level stove - adjust the feet/legs by unscrewing them = problem solved?

nah, my non-level stove is due to weirdness w/the coils (it's electric)

xpost - Glad you didn't say that about the bfs.

nah, my non-level stove is due to weirdness w/the coils (it's electric)

ditto

yep

mostly i wish i had something resembling a normal social life

(xpost) it's lucky that I'm not the entity that might be granting these requests, otherwise that would be three disappointed customers already...

i wish i hadn't gotten rid of most of my stuff when i moved in with my now-ex

A Chicago Bear Super Bowl victory. Or at least a trade for Anquan Boldin.

actually i can live with the wonky stove. Can i have longer lasting milk please, and no powdered stuff.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/68/Brique_lait_dsc04430.jpg/180px-Brique_lait_dsc04430.jpg

actually, very small concession that i almost started a thread about, in a fit of pique:

i wish i would stop losing whole blocks of minutes of my day to searching for the other sock/glove/whatever. i swear that over the years i have lost actual days to just being a little disorganized

i have tacked on ten minutes to my morning-house-departure time just because one of my gloves (necessary for biking to school) like feel behind the radiator or something

feel, fell, whatever

a nice modern thrash band with good production

DRGBX: adjust the stove legs taking the coil issues into account. It's simple. The members of your family from a country where no dwelling contains a precise 90 degree angle will tell you the same thing...

Also feeling your pain on the pairs: this morning before I had to go out, I spent 15 minutes looking for one of the boots I'd dragged to the kitchen to polish. It was in the kitchen, where I put it with the other one.

four day work week

DRGBX: adjust the stove legs taking the coil issues into account. It's simple. The members of your family from a country where no dwelling contains a precise 90 degree angle will tell you the same thing...

if it's like mine, it's not as simple as that. The coils are crooked in all sorts of random places, so each coil is angled differently to each other and sometimes in more than one place - making pan positioning a fucking time consuming bollocks affair.

^ yeah I was gonna say about work week

I would really like to a get a job that pays 20% more and just not work Mondays so I could financially tread water

four-day work week most definitely!! i'm perfectly willing to do 10-hour days, too

^^^ Doesn't get it

I think I have the option of doing that in real life but that is not enough of a concession for me

haha well i usually end up being here close to 9 hours anyway... and i figure once you've spent 8 hrs at work, the day is more or less ruined anyway, what's another couple of hours?

I'd be more than happy to bugger off now instead of at 9 bleeding pm.

It'd be nice if I could go out and just buy a new TV, and know that I'd got the one specific model which would give me the best possible picture quality at the ideal price for me, without feeling I have to do HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS of research first.

(applies to all tech goods, but I'm trying not to be greedy)

a place within walking distance of my house that sells a range of delicious vegetarian sandwiches

workplace observance of public holidays. every little would help.
vegan margarine in ny delicatesse- DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

^^^ move to new zealand

you will also get 4 weeks paid annual leave on top of 11 (i think?) public holidays

Handful of records I really want to like but that are fucked-up sounding to be remastered.

indian food becomes new US fast food craze

^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS

i can work up and take a day off a week without prior approval by doing just < 2 hrs extra a day. i am bewildered as to why i never actually do this.

* the reintroduction of bus queueing etiquette.
* an agreement with dust that it stay away at least a week before returning.
* an agreement with birds not to start singing before 6 am.
* an agreement with my dog re: shedding hairs.
* availability of sandwiches with less than 1 gram of salt.

the design of janes that both look good and fit, AT THE SAME TIME

uh, jeans. sorry janes.

how bout levi's going back to making jeans that aren't paper-thin??

they'd probably cost like $230 dollars tho

if they meet my twin criteria, i'll bring the €€€€€

upstairs neighbours fuck off

a functioning london transport system

don't actually need it to function, just for buses to allow me to between them over, say, the space of about an hour, without charging me each time.

would also like to go out with people who are capable of recognizing the crap night they're having and willing to go home with a bottle of rum at 2am instead of 5.

That the flat above us, currently for sale, stays unsold and empty through the end of our lease term.

that my desk and coffee table could just be clean

the availability of £50 trainers that will last > year without developing holes. the uppers on this current pair are pristine, barely look worn but the sole has already gone. i bought them in october...

Walk softer!

Wear a different pair of cheap shoes everyday!

i wish i would stop losing whole blocks of minutes of my day to searching for the other sock/glove/whatever. i swear that over the years i have lost actual days to just being a little disorganized

guessing I'm a little older than you: I am the same way and some days I really wish I'd learned to be more organized and other days I'm like "you might as well be mad about the color of your eyed, JD"

or, eyes

i mean yeah i feel the same way (almost 30, btw) but god if it wouldn't make life easier

Utility poles removed and their wiring moved underground.

I'd like the hedges pruned instead of sheared.

A job that pays well doing what I want to do.

I could use a better toaster, i.e. one that doesn't require two full cycles in order to toast anything properly. Doesn't seem worth the money to correct this, though.

I've had 4 day workweeks before. Once you have them, they really aren't that great.

Spring cleaning done w/out me actually having to do it.

a large desk in a room with no distractions, and a good few days' free time.

about three more bicycles

good coffee within walking distance of my home

roommate's ugly cat dies of mysterious illness

being able to live alone

All this f-ing garbage that I don't want anymore to just magically disappear without me having to pull it out of cupboards, etc., and haul it to the tip.

The ability to raise one eyebrow independently of the other (currently I cannot do this).

I also wish I could like sports. I could probably have a lot more conversations with people and some 'venting my anger by yelling at the tv' activity other than Iron Chef (which I don't even have tv channels anymore so, whatevs).

My wife to come back from Tokyo safely, and sooner than expected; IOW, in less than 6 weeks. And safely.

Aw, hope you are keeping through the lonely with grace.

For my bed to be as deliciously comfortable on days off as it somehow manages to be only on the mornings of workdays.

If by grace, you mean the love of our dog and lots of attention to my new job, then yes.

It has not been too terrible, but it could certainly be a whole fuck load better.

The ability to raise one eyebrow independently of the other (currently I cannot do this).

― fillibustar superstar! (Abbott), Monday, 27 April 2009 22:16 (1 hour ago) Bookmark

this is a really good one

all sport on tv to have an option to switch the commentators off, leaving just the noise of the crowd

all sport on tv to have an option to switch the commentators off, leaving just the noise of the crowd

Good one.

i can raise each of my eyebrows independently, i trained myself to do it when i was 7, i thought it would be useful and it is.

I would like the police to ticket people for (a) tailgating, and (b) not using turn signals. These two things are much ruder & more inconsiderate than the things they actually DO give people tickets for, AND YET THE MISCREANTS WHO DO THESE ACTIONS CURRENTLY SUFFER NO CONSEQUENCES. Also, the fine should be a thousand dollars.

you just became twice as terrifying to embarrass oneself in front of

xp

guys this eyebrow business isn't that hard, imo

I think it srsly might be genetic. I have tried SO HARD all my life. I have tried even holding down my left eyebrow and raising them both so maybe the left eyebrow will figure out a way to not be involved. The only time I did this was when the dentist gave me enough novocaine to numb an entire side of my face and it was a terribly joyous thing. I was sad when the novocaine wore off. I should've taken a photo.

I think all this trying will yeild one awfully wrinkly brow, too. ;(

i absolutely 100% cannot do it and this really fucks me off, ditto on the wrinkly brow

there is a downside to this talent, sometimes i do it without meaning to.

truly every rose has its thorn

My own home. Maybe that isnt that small, but a home I own, rather than rent, one with a garden, is an unattainable dream in this country and it makes me so sad.

an equitable system for sharing cars and the responsibilities of car ownership so that one has most of the advantages of private ownership at a fraction of the cost, all based on the following assumptions: relatively high density population; good public transportation; most places you need to go are within walking distance. you only need to drive to get boxes of laundry detergent or for leisure and pleasure.

Every licensed driver has a microchip implanted, which they hold up against a panel on the side of the car to activate their session with that particular car. If the panel is damaged, the car is rendered illegal or stolen. To deactivate their session and lock the car, they hold the chip up again. Their time, distance and fuel expended with the car is recorded and taxed accordingly. If there is somebody inside the car, they cannot sign on or off. If the car is broken into, is is registered illegal and tracked. If they forget to sign off before abandoning the car, they continue to pay for the car's ownership until someone else signs in. If your microchip is stolen, report it. If you willingly cede your microchip to somebody else, you are both liable for criminal charges.

free pizza for lyfe

A reduction in the rate my hair falls out.

Shops that stay open many, many hours past 5pm. S'cool if they don't open until noon to compensate.

proper bike paths all the way from my house to my work

I can raise my left eyebrow but not my right. Similarly, I can sneer and curl my lip on the left side of my face -- but not on my right.

an equitable system for sharing cars and the responsibilities of car ownership

Youn they kind of sort of do this at my local council. They have a Carshare program where the council own and maintain the cars (I think), and there'll be one parked by the Petrol station, you can hire it out just for a couple of hours or so for short trips. I think it's a great idea, and if it could be expanded into a bigger idea like yours would be fab.

lou that's some minority report shit

the ability to instantly grow a beard

just BOOM beardo

that if taxi drivers are going to bump or near-hit me while I am crossing streets, they are at least not laughing heartily while they wave their apologies and speed onward

also if you actually make contact with someone or stuff he's holding, maybe stop? or at least roll down the window?

the ability to instantly grow never grow a beard

Fixed.

amen

I have that ability.

Trayce, that sounds cool... Obviously, the test for sharing should be whether or not you can share tapes in the car. All marketed to recovering suburbanites in Brooklyn and beyond.

LJ has his way and we are now into strictly-fantasy-land territory but a lot of these small concession wishes were awesome and I thank the thread!

this is being turned into a song, right

yeah I'm really going to feel like a very edgy artiste when I write my song based on an ilx thread I started

then I'll twitter the whole process, and then drink some Raid

i'd prefer a village in fantasyland

Okay I kind of wish there was a four-month cooling-off period after a big, harsh breakup before a recording artist started writing songs.

FWIW I am listening to XTC's 'Your Dictionary' right now. Sheesh, Andy.

Wld also be nice for those who take public transit in non-metropolitan areas to not be treated like lepers.

Okay I kind of wish there was a four-month cooling-off period after a big, harsh breakup before a recording artist started writing songs.

look at the bright side though - quality control! when a recording artist fails to observe the "give it a year before you go writing songs about it" protocol, he's sort of letting you know "I'm going to do a lotta amateur stuff that'll piss you off over the course of my career"

There is such a protocol?!??

Could someone have told beck about this?

Wait I just proved your point didn't I.

There is such a protocol?!??

yes it's in the bylaws but nobody reads them except Catholics

only trust Catholic artists, that is the lesson to be learned here

Sea Change isn't THAT bad! It remains the only album I've bought in Russia.

I meant more the "I'm going to do a lotta amateur stuff that'll piss you off over the course of my career" bit.

See also: Dismemberment Pal

even worse were their older brothers, the Dismemberment Plan

An affordable, decent, house to rent/purchase (nb: also people willing to give me a mortgage if so) with a garage.

What about Damon Albarn? Wait, haha, point proven again...

Oh yeah, my actual small concession is teleports for everyone international and domestic cricket coverage to return to terrestrial television in the UK. Either that, or my friends becoming mad keen for a narrow-boat holiday around the Midlands. The rest (artistic achievements, desirable employment, fulfilling social life) I have to work at myself.

-that i could stop mixing up dismemberment plan and dillinger escape plan in my head

If I'm permitted a sneaky third, then it'd be the creation of a global social networking website exclusively designed for poets and writers to host their work upon, join groups, meet the likeminded, form movements, develop individual voices, cultivate feuds &c

Hoos ffs I know you're dead but the one that is loping indie is not the crazy mathrash beast of slaughter

And Abbott, for some weird reason, your bringing up of "Your Dictionary" has wound up with "Fruit Nut" incorrigibly stuck in my head. Nngh.

oh i know which is which when i hear them, the trouble is the rest of the time

It's certainly true that "dismemberment" pertains to "crazy mathrash beast of slaughter" more than "dillinger escape" does, I guess

-that my cat wouldn't insist on climbing all over me while i exercise

-that i could stop mixing up dismemberment plan and dillinger escape plan in my head

just start doing like the metalbros do and refer to DEP, always, as "Dillinger"

http://www.hollywoodusa.co.uk/images/Gangjohndillingergrave.jpg

that i had enough cd cases to fit all the stacks of cds on my desk

Israelis to start calling themselves Israelites.

zombie hoos I chose to inherit an inverse problem on the grounds that I would acquire loose cds but alas, no.

i've seriously got like 200 loose cds just sitting in stacks on my desk

Oh wait. Here's my real answer: self-starting and organizational skills.

Why not throw on some selfconfidence while I'm at it.

I would like the ability to allow myself to be happy.

A week ago I would have said that my gf come up with the money to visit me while I'm in NZ, but that happened and she'll be here in June. So my new Small Concession is that I get a job and that job not be a food service job, please please please.

Aw :(

xpost