Recite for our edification the worst/dumbest/most painfully lame verse of lyrics you've ever had the misfortune to hear

the point in question is the following brilliant chorus:

How could I fail to give her
When she cried such a lot
People change but we don't falter
Cause we use what we've got

SUCH A LOT? SUCH A LOT? what the fuck, barney? what the fuck?
most of new order's output is like this. beautiful, beautiful music. lyrics bordering on the infantile. it might be on purpose, it might not, i don't care. "such a lot" is unforgivable.

p.s. i know there are worse examples extant, but bad lyrics in an otherwise pretty song just makes the grammatical awfulness even harder to bear.

Much as I love his band's music (less so than before, but still), the Collected Lyrics Works of Wayne Hussey, Esq. has the sparkling air and restrained delicacy of Vogon poetry. To quote one cliche would barely scrape the surface.

The opening line:
"I've got a timb bomb
I hope ya don't mind, mom..."

That was it. I turned my radio off immediately. It didn't help that the lyrics were song in some forced faux Archers Of Loaf style drawl.

"now he's getting a tattoo yeah he's gettin' ink done" and all the rest of that awful Offspring song

a LOT of otherwise great VU songs have lyrics I'd consider horrible

more when i think of them

But the funny thing is what happened to her nose
It grew until it reached all of her toes
Now when people say her feet they mean her nose

'This is a song about my dilemma
I have a big decision to make
Though I love my boyfriend dearly
I adore chocolate cake
Boyfriend chocolate boyfriend chocolate
I need you - chocolate too'

And it goes on. By an unknown electro-pop band called Schmoof.

The chorus of Travis' Why Does It Always Rained On Me? is just vile. Another piece of trash is 'He was a sk8er boy she said see you l8er boy...'

Jenny said, when she was just five years old
there was nothin' happening at all
Every time she puts on the radio
there was nothin' goin' down at all
not at all

Then one fine mornin', she puts on a New York station
you know she couldn't believe what she heard at all
She started shakin' to that fine-fine music
you know her life was saved by rock 'n' roll

Despite all the amputations
you know you could just go out
and dance to the rock 'n' roll station
And it was all right, hey baby, you know
it was all right

Jenny said, when she was just about five years old
you know my parents are gonna be the death of us all
Two TV sets and two Cadillac cars
well you know ain't gonna help me at all
not just you ....

Ooh, Yeah
Oh yeah
Oh Life
Oh Life

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life

I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care

Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life

So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon

Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life..

"I Just ShotJohn Lennon"

It was the fearful night of December 8th.

He was returning home from the studio late.

He had perseptively known that it wouldn't be nice.

Because in 1980, he paid the price.

John Lennon died. [X6]

With a Smith & Wesson 38,

John Lennon's life was no longer a debate.

He should have stayed at home,

He should have never cared,

And the man who took his life declared,

He said I just shot John Lennon.

He said I just shot John Lennon.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah...

I just shot John Lennon.

He said I just shot John Lennon.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.

What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah...

"There are people in boats in the middle of the sea
Crying and dying like Jews
Do you like tennis?"

"If beds could talk, mine would be singing,
Singing about the time when you and I were lovers,
All night long, we could not stop,
They were amazing times, they were the crazy times,"

I want it and I want it now!
I want it and I just can't wait!
I want it and I want it now.
I want it and I will not wait......
I want it.......now

I sit at home and when I watch TV,
I gotta have remote control with me,
Oh and when I'm watching football,
I can go to total recall,
I got freeze frame, I got slo - mo.
This is the way that it was meant to be,
You gotta get ready for the century
I'm a total modern man,
And I got total modern plans
And it's so easy when you say.....
I want it and I want it now!

How can I save my little boy
From Oppenheimer's deadly toy?
There is no monopoly on common sense
On either side of the political fence
We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too

There is no historical precedent to put
Words in the mouth of the president
There's no such thing as a winnable war
It's a lie we don't believe anymore
Mister Reagan says 'We will protect you'
I don't subscribe to this point of view
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too
We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
What might save us, me and you
Is if the Russians love their children too"

It actually manages to make "De do do do / De da da da / Is all I want to say to you" seem like a work of genius by comparison.

What have we got
What have we got
What have we got
What have we got

I don't really care no more
I don't care at all
A black man's black and a white man's white
But we're all the bleeding same

What have we got
What have we got
What have we got
What have we got"

Sham 69.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

"Sitting in the jungle in the long tall grass
Sits fat Idi on his big black arse
Round about eleven he's got nothing to do
So he kills a few people like me and you

Tell Idi Amin
Tell Idi I'm out
Tell that Idi
I am not about

Round about six he's getting ready for tea
Roast nun and missionary
Then about ten he gets ready for bed
After watching a man get a bullet in the head"

or if you prefer:

"Sitting in a chair someone's hands in my hair
Short back and sides leaves nothing to hide
The walls are red and so is the door
I can see a bit of flesh over there on the floor

He's so fucked up always a razor cut
Leaves a bit on top but he don't know when to stop
Sweeney Todd, Sweeney Todd, Sweeney Todd
You're a fuckin' old sod"

Look behind my face and love me
I'm not the good girl you should know

There was a time when I thought of you
There was a time when you thought of me
Look in my eyes and say you love me
Look in my eyes and say you want me

Your love only had time for me at night
Your love had no time for me inside so
I've had enough time to think it over
I've had enough time to decide yes and I say

There's another word for love
There's another word of course
I'm just more than you can see obviously

I'm just more, I'm just more, I'm just more
I'm just more, I'm just more, I'm just more

It's too late to look beyond
It's too late to darn my socks
I left my shoes left you behind
Ran barfooted* through the crowd yeah

There's another word for love
There's another word of course
I'm just more than you can see obviously

I'm just more, I'm just more, I'm just more
I'm just more, I'm just more, I'm just more

There's another word for love
There's another word of course
I'm just more than you can see obviously

It's too late to look beyond
It's too late to darn my socks
I left my shoes left you behind
Ran barfooted through the crowd yeah

There's another word for love
There's another word of course
I'm just more than you can see obviously

I'm just more, I'm just more, I'm just more
I'm just more, I'm just more, I'm just more

I'm just more

I've had enough time to think it over
I've had enough time to decide yes and I say

There's another word for love
There's another word of course
I'm just more than you can see obviously

Yes and I say
There's another word for love

*This is how it's spelled on the lyric sheet, and it sounds like what she's singing. She also emphasizes the second syllable and works the long "oo" sound.

now i know y'all be lov'in this shit right here
l.i.m.p bizkit is right here people in the house put them hands in the air
cause if you don't care, then we don't care 1, 2, 3,
times two to the six jonesin' for your fix of that limp bizkit mix so
where the fuck you at punk, shut the fuck up and back the fuck up,
while we fuck this track up now move in,
now move out hands up or hands down back up,
back up tell me what ya gonna do now breathe in,
now breathe out hands up or hands down back up,
back up tell me what ya gonna do now keep rollin'

Exhibit A:
But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...

Exhibit B:
I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all.

You must have nothing,
More with your time to do.
There's a war in Russia,
And Sarajevo too.

Exhibit C:
And I remember all the things we once shared,
Watching T.V. movies in the living room armchair.
But they say it will work out fine.
Was it all a waste of time?

Exhibit D:
I spent last winter in New York,
And came upon a man.
He was sleeping on the streets and homeless,
He said, "I fought in Vietnam."

I rest my case.

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how you're making out,
but as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone making out

I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending.
I'm missing you bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to sleep.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
Taking it's wear.

I knew he was different, in his sexuality
I went to his parties, as the straight minority
It never seemed a threat to my masculinity
He only introduced me to a wider reality

As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that he was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart
But he's nobody's--

Hero--saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero--lands the crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries

Hero--not the handsome actor
Who plays a hero's role
Hero--not the glamor girl
Who'd love to sell her soul
If anybody's buying
Nobody's hero

I didn't know the girl, but I knew her family
All their lives were shattered
in a nightmare of brutality
They try to carry on, try to bear the agony
Try to hold some faith
in the goodness of humanity

As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that she was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart
But she's nobody's--

Hero--the voice of reason
Against the howling mob
Hero--the pride of purpose
In the unrewarding job

Hero--not the champion player
Who plays the perfect game
Not the glamor boy
Who loves to sell his name
Everybody's buying
Nobody's hero

As the years went by we drifted apart
When I heard that you were gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

Hero

Well there's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
Student demonstration time

The violence spread down South to where Jackson State brothers
Learned not to say nasty things about Southern policemen's mothers
Nothing much was said about it and really next to nothing done
The pen is mightier than the sword, but no match for a gun

Well there's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
Well there's a riot going on
'Cause it's student demonstration time

America was stunned on May 4, 1970
When rally turned to riot up at Kent State University
They said the students scared the Guard
Though the troops were battle dressed
Four martyrs earned a new degree
The Bachelor of Bullets
I know we're all fed up with useless wars and racial strife
But next time there's a riot, well, you best stay out of sight

Well there's a riot going on
There's a riot going on
Well there's a riot going on
Student demonstration time

Stay away when there's a riot going on...

First prize.

Mirrors, smokescreens and lies
It's not the politicians but their actions I despise
You and Saddam should kick it like back in the day
With the cocaine and Courvoisier
But you build more bombs as you get more bold
As your mid-life crisis war unfolds
All you want to do is take control
Now put that access of evil bullshit on hold
Citizen rule number 2080
Politicians are shady
So people watch your back 'cause I think they smoke crack
I don't doubt it look at how they act

In a world gone mad it's hard to think right
So much violence hate and spite
Murder going on all day and night
Due time we fight the nonviolent fight

First the 'War On Terror' now war on Iraq
We're reaching a point where we can't turn back
Let's lose the guns and let's lose the bombs
And stop the corporate contributions that their built upon
Well I'll be sleeping on your speeches 'til I start to snore
'Cause I won't carry guns for an oil war
As-Salamu alaikum, wa alaikum assalam
Peace to the Middle East peace to Islam
Now don't get us wrong 'cause we love America
But that's no reason to get hysterica
They're layin' on the syrup thick
We ain't waffles we ain't havin' it

In a world gone mad it's hard to think right
So much violence hate and spite
Murder going on all day and night
Due time we fight the nonviolent fight

Now how many people must get killed?
For oil families pockets to get filled?
How many oil families get killed?
Not a damn one so what's the deal?

It's time to lead the way and de-escalate
Lose the weapons of mass destruction and the hate
Say ooh ah what's the White House doin'?
Oh no! Say, what in tarnation have they got brewing??!!!!???!!
Well I'm not pro Bush and I'm not pro Saddam
We need these fools to remain calm
George Bush you're looking like Zoolander
Trying to play tough for the camera
What am I on crazy pills? We've got to stop it
Get your hand out my grandma's pocket
We need health care more than going to war
You think it's democracy we're fighting for?

In a world gone mad it's hard to think right
So much violence hate and spite
Murder going on all day and night
Due time we fight the nonviolent fight

the buffalo ask how the bulls and the cows
honor on an arrow eating grass with the sparrow
atlantesians ask the grecians if their fate was just as pleasing
in our bedrooms in our sleep but we know it

It embarasses me nowadays.

Madonna from her forthcoming single

"If they say I never loved you
You know they are a liar"

"The place where they brought down the wall" is my favorite. Uh, you mean Germany?

Can't stop addicted to the shin dig
Cop top he says I'm gonna win big
Choose not a life of imitation
Distant cousin to the reservation
Defunkt the pistol that you pay for
This punk the feeling that you stay for
In time I want to be your best friend
Eastside love is living on the westend
Knock out but boy you better come to
Don't die you know the truth is some do
Go write your message on the pavement
Burnin' so bright I wonder what the wave meant
White heat is screaming in the jungle
Complete the motion if you stumble
Go ask the dust for any answers
Come back strong with 50 belly dancers

[Chorus:]
The world I love
The tears I drop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Ever wonder if it's all for you
The world I love
The trains I hop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Come and tell me when it's time to

Sweetheart is bleeding in the snowcone
So smart she's leading me to ozone
Music the great communicator
Use two sticks to make it in the nature
I'll get you into penetration
The gender of a generation
The birth of every other nation
Worth your weight the gold of meditation
This chapter's going to be a close one
Smoke rings I know your going to blow one
All on a spaceship persevering
Use my hands for everything but steering
Can't stop the spirits when they need you
Mop tops are happy when they feed you
J. Butterfly is in the treetop
Birds that blow the meaning into bebop

[Repeat Chorus]

Wait a minute I'm passing out
Win or lose just like you
Far more shocking
Than anything i ever knew
How about you
10 more reasons
Why i need somebody new just like you
Far more shocking than anything I ever knew
Right on cue

Can't stop addicted to the shin dig
Cop top he says I'm gonna win big
Choose not a life of imitation
Distant cousin to the reservation
Defunkt the pistol that you pay for
This punk the feeling that you stay for
In time I want to be your best friend
Eastside love is living on the westend
Knock out but boy you better come to
Don't die you know the truth is some do
Go write your message on the pavement
Burnin' so bright I wonder what the wave meant

Kick start the golden generator
Sweet talk but don't intimidate her
Can't stop the gods from engineering
Feel no need for any interfering
Your image in the dictionary
This life is more than ordinary
Can I get 2 maybe even 3 of these
Come from space
To teach you of the pliedes
Can't stop the spirits when they need you
This life is more than just a read thru

all three are by acts that I really like a lot

I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL
IN THE USA
I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT THE USA

Your words cut rather deeply
They're just some other lies
I'm hiding from a distance
I've got to pay the price
Defending all against it
I really don't know why
You're obsessed with all my secrets
You always make me cry

You seem to wanna hurt me
No matter what i do
I'm telling just a couple
But somehow it gets to you

But i've learned to get revenge
And i swear you'll experience that
Some day

I'm sitting down here
But hey you can't see me kinda invisible
You don't sense my stay not really hiding
Not like a shadow just thought i would
(but sure i wanna) join you for one day

I'm sitting down here
But hey you can't see me
I'm not trying to avoid you
Just don't wanna hear you voice
When you call me up so often
I don't really have a choice
You're talking like you know me
And wanna be my friend
But that's really too late now
I won't try it once again
You may think that i'm a loser
That i don't really care
You may think that it's forgotten
But you should be aware

Deep in my heart, there's a fire, a burning heart.
Deep in my heart, there's desire for a start.
I'm dying in emotion,
It's my world in fantasy.
I'm living in my, living in my dreams.

CHORUS:
You're my heart, you're my soul,
I keep it shining everywhere. I go.
You're my heart, you're my soul,
I'll be holding you forever, stay with you together.
You're my heart, you're my soul,
Yeah, a feeling that our love will grow.
You're my heart, you're my soul,
That's the only thing. I really know.

Let's close the door and believe my burning heart,
Feeling alright. Come on, open up your heart.
I'll keep the candles burning
Let your body melt in mine.
I'm living in my, living in my dreams.

(CHORUS)

I know, I know....

He floats
Floats away
On the ground
He comes back down

She floats
Floats away
On the ground
She comes back down

They float
Float away
On the ground
They come back down

We float
Float away
On the ground
We come back down

That's not as big as
What's flown around here

That's the whole song and it's almost five minutes long. Not only do the lyrics sound like they were writen for a song made for little kids, the music(especially when acoustic) make you feel like you're five years old. I like Dave and Foo Fighters but, what was he thinking when he wrote this?! It's so simple and so stupid!

This is what happens when you don't make the kid do the dishes and you do em yourself. Then she takes your seat at the computer when your not looking....

ASIA!

TURN THAT FOO FIGHTERS CRAP DOWN!!!!!!

One baby to another says
I'm lucky to have met you
I don't care what you think unless
It is about me
It is now my duty to completely drain you
A travel through a tube and end up in your infection
Chew your meat for you
Pass it back and forth
In a passionate kiss
From my mouth to yours
cause I like you

With eyes so dilated
I've became your pupil
You've taught me everything
Without a poison apple
The water is so yellow
I'm a healthy student
Indebted and so grateful
Vacuum out the fluids

We need more of this.

Hey man, follow your daughter home
Hey man, follow your daughter home
Hey man, follow your daughter home
Keep her out of mischief, follow your daughter home
What are the boys like she's running and dancing with?
Follow your daughter home
Is she still a virgin?
Follow your daughter home
Staying out late with the boys past midnight, follow your daughter home
Tie her up

Hey man, follow your daughter home
Hey man, follow your daughter home
Hey man, follow your daughter home
Keep her out of trouble, follow your daughter home
Staying out late in the bar with the bad men, follow your daughter home
Keep her out of mischief, follow your daughter home
You're asking lotsa questions 'bout the boys she's sleeping with, follow your daughter home
Watch her, watch her

i know that making fun of them is kinda like making fun of a retarded child, but the outfield's "your love" must have the worst lyrics i've ever heard:

Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just wanna use you love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
I ain't got many friends to talk to
Nowhere to run when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Stay the night but keep it undercover
I just wanna use you love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
Try to stop my hands from shaking,
But something in my mind's not making sense
It's been a while since we were all alone,
But I can't hide the way I'm feeling
As you're leaving please would you close the door,
And don't forget what I told ya
Just because you're right that don't make me wrong
Another shoulder to cry upon
I just wanna use you love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
Use your love
Lose your love
Your love

Well, my dandruff is loose
An' my breath is chartreuse
I know I ain't cute
An' my voice is ka-poot

But that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way

I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say

Ain't gonna sing you no love song
How my heart is all sore
Will not beg your indulgence
'Cause you heard it before

But that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way

I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say

I have taken your time
I have sung you my song
Ain't no great revelation
But it wasn't too long

But that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way

I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say

I wish I could live free
I hope it's not beyond me
settling down it takes time
one day we'll live together
and life will be better
I have it here yeah in my mind
baby, you know someday you'll slow

baby, my heart's been breaking

I gave a lot to you
I take a lot from you too
you slave a lot from me
guess you could say
i gave you my edge

I can't pretend
I need to defend
some part of me from you
I know I've spent some time a-lying
I can't pretend
I don't need to defend
some part of me from you
I know I've spent some time a-lying

You're looking alright tonight
I think we should go
You're looking alright tonight
I think we should go

ah, but the music makes all the difference -- better dumb lyrics set to music by a band heavily influenced by Joy Division, than dumb lyrics set to music by a band heavily influenced by Minor Threat or Jawbreaker.

it's a good thing that i generally don't pay much attention to lyrics anyway (unless they're either really good or really bad).

Now that I think about it, almost in all of the Foo Fighters' songs, Dave has written some pretty stupid things. Here are some lines from some of their songs.

"Fingernails are pretty
Fingernails are good"- This Is A Call

"Puzzles suck
Laugh in my face"- Alone+Easy Target(but BurmaKitty thought it was called, "I'm Only Retarded"

"I'm called a cow
I'm not about to blow it now
For all the cows"- For All The Cows

"You know you you make me break out
I don't wanna look like that"- Breakout I think this is stupid because what, was he 30 years old when they wrote this? The cover of the single for this song has a bottle that says,"BREAKOUT maximum acne treatment"

"No one can find us now
Livin' with our heads under ground"- Next Year

"Nevermind mannequins drunk in the hollow town
Drinkin' the spoils down"-MIA

"Turnnin' like a wheel inside your head"-Overdrive

That's all I can think of now. I'll be back with more dumb lyrics from Dave Grohl soon. If you have any, please let me know.

It always does. :-)

That's great. The Foo Fighters are your favorite band and you talk about how great Dave Grohl's drumming is, but you ADMIT the lyrics are stupid.

What's up with that? What kind of FOO FIGHTERS FAN are you???

You don't see me getting on here posting stupid MISSION OF BURMA lyrics. You know why? Because when it's your fave band you are supposed to forgive them this type of stuff, NOT PUBLICIZE IT!!!!

wait a minute. What time is it?

10 o'clock?

Why are you not in bed?

GO TO BED!

NOW!!!!!

I don't care if you have never gotten a 'B' grade in school before. You cannot stay up later than your mother.

Now get off my computer AND GO TO SLEEP!

or ...or ...

No Foo Fighters for you on April 11th!

Totally wrong.

And really, really bad lyrics will overshadow and defeat great music. Musically, Turn on the Bright Lights is fantastic (most of it) but the lyrics are often so lame that the whole affair is just ruined for me.

explain please?

and while we're still on the topic, the Drive By Truckers record might have been one of my favorites of last year had it not been for the inspid lyrics.

Boy, did THAT piss her off!

I laughed more.

12 year olds are so easy to tease. Actually, I think she was 10 then.

You should see when I get dressed slowly.

"Mom, you are gonna make me LATE!"

"Yeah, but Asia, you don't want to ALWAYS be on time. They might get used to it."

But as soon as she starts posting under a name like "schlongdong" I'll selling those damn Foo Fighter's tickets on Craigslist.org !!!!

*cough* *cough* *cough*

ALL WE ARE SAYING IS GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

Tom Petty - Mary's New Car lyrics

Mary got a brand new car
Mary got a brand new set of wheels
Now everyone is so charged
Man you don't know how good it feels
And we wanna go where she goes
We wanna listen to her radio

Mary got a brand new car
Mary got the one she was savin' for
Now everyone here is so charged
Many never looked so good before
And we wanna go where she goes
We wanna listen to her radio

Can we ride? Mary can we ride?
Can we ride? Mary can we ride?

Madonna: bitch got mad flow Is that how you do it? God help me, it's been a very long time since i wrote any HTML. Forgive me father for i have sinned. It's been three years since my last tagging session.

How you want to see this situation
Straight down the barrel or from some other location
Running up hills never been my vocation
It's my punishment
For drinking my frustration

Big wide world
Why don't you swallow my gift
I'm ragged up and ready to grift
Big wide world
Swallow my gift

Say a little something at the dinner table
Raise up your glasses if your eyesight's feeble
Try and see the target is the barn not the stable
Giving into comfort
You won't be able

Big wide world
Why don't you swallow my gift
I'm ragged up and ready to grift
Big wide world
Swallow my gift

You follow me
I'll haunt you
Don't bite baby
It's more than you can chew

So being this way says I'm in that way
Says I live the way You'll complain about 'til death
'Til you're smelling heaven's breath
Then you might just realize
Nasty little fuckers
Just don't win the prize

Big wide world
Why don't you swallow my gift
I'm revved up and ready to grift
Big wide world
Swallow my gift

Big wide world
Why don't you swallow my gift
I'm ragged up and ready to grift
Big wide world
Swallow my gift

or, for a completely different type of awful, and from an album I love:

"Not bisexual/I'm an intellectual"

"If I'm smart then I'll run away.
But I'm not, so I guess I'll stay."

"Here she comes, little Suzie Ho-Maker, thinks she'll get respect if she screws it."

"Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown.
Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown.
Wish you well, I cannot stay.
You deserve an award for the role that you played."

What's that from?

is from a track off Illmatic, by Nas. I think it's "Halftime"

where the fuck is all the police lyrics that should be on here? Jesus! Most heinous is probably ending every line of "King Of Pain" with "that's my soul up there."

In fact, I need to start another thread...

Just maybe
You need this
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you
(My friends over you)

Please tell me everything,
That you think that I should know
About all the plans we made
When I was never to be found
And it’s all right to forget
That we still talk
Its just for fun, isn’t it
It’s my fault that it fell apart

Cuz maybe you need this
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you
(My friends over you)

Just maybe you need this
You need this…
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you

I woke up it was 7
Waited till 11
just to figure out that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on you own
and here it goes

[CHORUS]
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
having more fun than me

And maybe when the night is dead, i'll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time, I had good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And their gonna leave me here on my own

[REPEAT CHORUS]

What the fuck is wrong with me?
don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
cause every night is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid [repeat 5X]

[CHORUS (repeat 2X)]

I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause im just a kid tonight

Gonna write a classic.
Gonna write it in an attic.
Babe I'm an addict.
An addict for your love.

(Adrian Gurvitz, "Classic")

"Classic/attic" is bad enough, but then he takes it to a whole different level with "addict".

Nightwish - Elvenpath

Hardcore, you know the score
Rhymes so good they deserve an encore
All about the style we bring
We make you laugh like when you was a child again
Smooth, that's how I roll
I got so much soul when I step into the party
I wanna move somebody
I wanna move somebody

We're the masters of the ceremony
What does it take to be a garage MC
Personality
Originality
On a microphone they got to be

Capital U N the K N O I get down
Represents south London town
Pied Piper's on the decks
Rock the discoteque I'm back and it set

This one's for the heads out there
Party people can ya hear me clear
If you like it let me see your hands in the air
If you don't, y'all get the hell out of here

Bass is kickin', drums is drummin'
When you hear dididi I'm comin'
Shark P represents the west of London
DT, Piper, Melody and Unknown

We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that
DT, Melody, Sharky P, Unknown to make you rock
Sing we come to sing
And dance 'til we drop

Do you really like it, do you really like it
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
Do you really like it, is it, is it wicked
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that

Do you really like it, do you really like it
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
Do you really like it, is it, is it wicked
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that

How you like my, how you like my
How you like me
Style, style, style

On your marks get set let's go
Five four three two one zero
Get on down and do the limbo
Here we go, here we go, here we go, bo
Down with the one and two
My selector you know the coup
Gonna get down with the original vibe
Pied Piper gonna make you high to the sky

Jump, don't ever stop
With a little bit of this, little bit of that
Jump, don't ever stop
With a little bit of this, little bit of that
Little bit of fun
Little bit of joke
Little bit of gin
Little bit of smoke
Jump, on the ones and twos
Let's go, let's go

Do you really like it, do you really like it
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like this
Do you really like it, is it, is it wicked
We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it
We're lovin' it like that

Oh, how you like my, how you like my
How you like my style
Oh, how you like my, how you like my
How you like my style
For the summertime crew, c'mon (ooh ooh)

[Chorus]
Buy me diamonds and rubies
I'm crazy bout Bentley's
Gucci dresses and dropped up compressors
Wine me and dine me
Bring those platinum rings
Those are a few of our favourite things

What I need is a gentleman
Who does the best he can
There to hold my hand
I want him to understand
Of course I want diamonds and expensive things
Cos a girl gotta have her favourite things

Oh that's what you like
Nice type of life
Platinum and ice
Not diamon ite
Well that's alright
You looking right
Ass kinda tight
Come spend the night
Role with the G
Oh we can B
Right you and me
Like fantasy
I'll make it real
So what the deal
Girl tell Randy just how you feel

[Chorus]
Buy me diamonds and rubies
I'm crazy bout Bentley's
Gucci dresses and dropped up compressors
Wine me and dine me
Bring those platinum rings
Those are a few of our favourite things

I would like a man who
Takes care of business
And still have the time to take me on a shopping spree
What's mine is yours abd what's yours is mine
With what we have let's put it together and we can shine

I know what you want and
I got what you need
I believe you should be rolling with me
I take your around out on the town
And show you the way that a baller gets down
Whenever you're ready girl, we can go now
And we can do things you don't even know how
I know that you know that I'm feeling your style
So tell me what to do just to make you go wild

[Chorus]
Buy me diamonds and rubies
I'm crazy bout Bentley's
Gucci dresses and dropped up compressors
Wine me and dine me
Bring those platinum rings
Those are a few of our favourite things

Let me tell you about D, its all about
Simplicity, easy to please
But I like expensive things
For me you can buy diamonds and pearls
Just some of the little things
I like in my world

So you like wining and dining and shining
Gliding and riding
Pushing them hot whips
Mummy come get with a real pimp
Its flossing Flawless honest
I'll make you a shopoholic
Buying you stuff until you vomit
Blowing chronic, hopping on it
Even if you didn't want it

[Chorus]
Buy me diamonds and rubies
I'm crazy bout Bentley's
Gucci dresses and dropped up compressors
Wine me and dine me
Bring those platinum rings
Those are a few of our favourite things

[Chorus]
Buy me diamonds and rubies
I'm crazy bout Bentley's
Gucci dresses and dropped up compressors
Wine me and dine me
Bring those platinum rings
Those are a few of our favourite things

I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun

I've got a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do

I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun

I'm gonna soak up the sun
While it's still free
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me

Don't have no master suite
I'm still the king of me
You have a fancy ride, but baby
I'm the one who has the key
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too

I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun

I'm gonna soak up the sun
Got my 45 on
So I can rock on

******

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everthing's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other is flicking a cigarette
What is all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
What it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab...

New Order - 60 miles an hour

lyric as koan, from Sammy-era Van Halen

Chorus
I can't find you
where are you barbedwired baby
Are you hiding?
Please tell me what's inside the screen
Is it a barbedwired baby's dream?

Verse 2
Sitting all time
tryin to make it rhyme
but I'm stoned for a moment
Digging in the moon
with a silver spoon
now I'm stoned for a moment with a friend

Do I have to repeat the chorus?

I DON'T THINK SO!

-Interpol "PDA"

What's so bad about that? It's got a lilty little internal rhyme, and it means something. Take your Interpol hate elsewhere.

I spent last winter in New York,
And came upon a man.
He was sleeping on the streets and homeless,
He said, "I fought in Vietnam."

"Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids.
In fact, it's cold as hell.
And there's no one there to raise them if you did."

"Girls go to Mars, become rock stars.
Boys go to Jupiter, get more stupider."

Ack.

I still love the song, though.

Life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)
Liiiiiiiife (nanananana)

When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about the rest
And you all get the power
You all get the best
When everyone gets everything
And every song everybody sings

Life is life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)

Life is life, when we all feel the power
Life is life, come on stand up and dance
Life is life, when the feelings of the people
Life is life, is the feeling of the band

When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about the rest
Then you all get the power
You all get the best
When everyone gives everything
And every song everybody sings

Life is life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)

Life
(nanananana)
(nanananana)
(nanananana)

Life is life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)

And you call when it's over
You call it should last
Every minute of the future
is a memory of the past
Cause we all gave the power
We all gave the best
And everyone Gave everything
And every song everybody sang

Life is life

When you feelin' alright, everything is up-tight
Try to sing a song that goes ding ding-a-dong
There will be no sorrow when you sing tomorrow
And you walk along with your ding-dang-dong

Ding-a-dong every hour, when you pick a flower
Even when your lover is gone, gone, gone
Ding-a-dong, listen to it, maybe it's a big hit
Even when your lover is gone, gone, gone
Sing ding-ding-dong

We live in a free world
I whistle down the wind
Carry on smiling
And the world will smile with you
Life is a flower
So precious in your hand
Carry on smiling
And the world will smile with you

When every race is run
And the day is closing in
I don’t care about the world
I’m living for the light
Don’t cry for me today, ah-ah ah...

We live in a free world
I whistle down the wind...

I can not be your judge
Mr. jailer is your host
He’s keeping you inside
And hides you from the world
No catcher in the rye
Can help you from yourself

We live in a free world
I whistle down the wind...

Please mr. agony
Release them for a while
Learn them the consequences of
Living without life

We live in a free world...
(repeat & fade)

- Warrant, "Heaven". Way to flatter your ladyfriend, Mr. Lane.

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
My name is Brian and I'm the man
I write hit songs with a wave of my hand
Songs of surf and sun and sand
I make great music with my band
Songs you dance to and songs of joy
I'm the original Beach Boy

Everybody's gone surfin' Surfin USA

All the songs I used to write
Talked about girls who weren't too bright
Round round get around I got around
What I was lookin' for I never found
As time goes on I've seen the light
Intelligent chicks are dynamite

When I grow up to be man
Giddy-up giddy-up 409

Now some guys like the flashy types
And some guys dig the ugly types
I'm no different from the rest
I love hips and legs and breasts
But strictly on a higher plane
What really turns me on's her brain

Smart girls, talkin' 'bout smart girls
Sexy legs with high IQs
Smart girls, I love the smart girls
You brainy babes with your attitudes

Smart smart smart smart girls

Did I love you little surfer girl
Or was it just your bod and long blonde curls
Fun fun fun was all we heard
Cruisin' in her daddy's thunderbird
Ba ba ba ba barbara ann
She ran away with another man

This is the worst trip
Help me, Rhonda
Get her out of my heart

Rhonda helped helped, helped me for a while
Not much going on behind her smile
I wanna hot hot, massive stimulation
Women with more imagination
Yeah smart girls are my inspiration
Given me
Good good good good vibrations

Wouldn't it be nice
If they gave PHDs
For strokin' me with hypotheses
Gimme a gal who teaches school
Who's not afraid to break the rules
Women doctors and lawyers, too
Can really make a man out of you

Smart girls, talkin' 'bout smart girls
Sexy legs with high IQs
Smart girls, I love the smart girls
You brainy babes with your attitudes

Smart smart smart smart girls

Smart girls
Wish they all could be
Smart girls
Rhyme in poetry
A clever head is a real turn-on
You bright, you brainy amazons
Authors, scientists, and architechts
Sultry babes with intellect

Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out

God only knows what I'd be
Without smart girls
Hip hop and harmony
I'm wiser now, I know where it's at
Intelligence is an aphrodisiac
So if you're seekin' that perfect mate
Listen to Brian, beauty's great but

Smart girls, talkin' 'bout smart girls
Sexy legs with high IQs
Smart girls, I love the smart girls
You brainy babes with your attitudes

Big brains are awesome, dude

Smart smart smart smart girls

Smart girls, talkin' 'bout smart girls
Sexy legs with high IQs
Smart girls, I love the smart girls
You brainy babes with your attitudes

I wanna congratulate you
You were just fine

This is the daybreak
And this is the love we make
For love is the law here
You got to know how I love it, yeah
It's more than a mover

You know it takes all fast, all song
Stone cold wild
Bring the love in
Son, brother, man, true nature child
I think I'll sing it

Further on up this thread there was a mention of Schmoof!... profoundly bad, I had to leave a New Year's Eve party they were playing at because I just couldn't take it no more.

Here's my nomination courtesy of Public Enemy:

Flavor flav is in everything ya eat cause everything ya eat got flavor
Flavor flav is da first taste ya git in da mornin - ya breakfast is da flavor
In between dat ta lunch - in between dat dinner - in between dat ta midnight flavor
Yeah, das right I got somethin fa all da fandangoes of damangoes of da fandangoes of da mangoes

PJ And Duncan-Our Radio Rocks

Here we go, here we go, here we go!
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
Here we go, here we go!
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
Here we go, here we go...

Video never killed the radio star,
I'm tuned in at home and in my car,
24-7, 7, 11,
There better be radio when I get to heaven!

Locked into the frequency,
Faces we never see,
Ya got more pedigree than a rolls royce,
Anytime you're my number one choice,
Are you a person or simply a voice?

We're gonna dance to the music you play,
Anytime; night or day,
We're gonna dance to what you play,
Our radio rocks!

We're gonna dance to the music you play,
Anytime; night or day,
We're gonna dance to what you play,
Our radio rocks!

Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Our radio, our radio, our radio rocks!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
AM, PM, AM, PM, FM anytime!

Funky punky soul, rock and roll, hip-hop,
All night, all day, it don't ever stop,
DJ, you're the shepherd and we are your flock,
You holler, we follow our favourite jock!

They got a jingle plays all the time; it goes:
OUR radio...OUR...OUR radio...OUR...

We're gonna dance to the music you play,
Anytime; night or day,
We're gonna dance to what you play,
Our radio rocks!

We're gonna dance to the music you play,
Anytime; night or day,
We're gonna dance to what you play,
Our radio rocks!

Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Our radio, our radio, our radio rocks!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
AM, PM, AM, PM, FM anytime!

With my fly hi-fi I'm wired for sound,
Rare groove, swing and underground,
Scannin' the waves on my radio station,
News, views, conversation!

Our flavour of music good to go,
Keeps us buzzin' show after show,
DJ, transmit, and I'm the reciever,
Never saw your face but I'm still a believer!

They got a jingle plays all the time; it goes:
OUR radio...OUR...OUR radio...OUR...

Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Our radio, our radio, our radio rocks!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! Radio!
AM, PM, AM, PM, FM anytime!

Anything by Belgian grungers K's Choice fits the bill, this not least:

In my head
there's a chair
on which I used to sit
Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it

Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be
Dig it up, throw it at me
Dig it up, throw it at me

Where can I run to, where can I hide
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind

Got a knife to disengage the voids that I can't bear
To cut out words I've got written on my chair

Like do you think I'm sexy
Do you think I really care

Can I burn the mazes I grow
Can I, I don't think so

Can I burn the mazes I grow
Can I, I don't think so

Where can I run to, where can I hide
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton

Nomming "Cold Lamping with Flavor" for this is a fail, y/y?

xp: As is nomming "Summer Girls". People WTF!

It's like putting shit in your ears, waiting for it to harden, then forcefully extracting the hardened shit from your ears.

haha! j0eks!

Can I take your order please?

Let's eat to the beat

(Chorus)
A pizza hut a pizza hut
Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut
A pizza hut a pizza hut
Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut
McDonalds McDonalds
Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut
McDonalds McDonalds
Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut

You like it you love it
You know you really want it
The voices I hear
Whenever you're around

I want it I need it
Nothing else can beat it
Hot and spicy
Whenever I'm in town (mm mm)

Enticing exciting
Aroma so inviting
And when it hits
Me, I wanna take you home

Trust me you must see
Just what you're doing to me
Driving me crazy
Hungry to the bone

I think of you and lick my lips
You've got the taste I can't resist
Can't resist - can't resist
Let's eat to the beat

(Repeat Chorus)

Would you like that to go?

Any sauces?

You're so sweet and you're neat
You knock me off my two feet
You're chunky and hunky
I'm coming back for more (Hot Dog)

Your taste all embraces
I gotta sing your praises
Just savour the flavours
Waiting at your door

I think of you and lick my lips
You've got the taste I can't resist
Can't resist - can't resist
Let's eat to the beat

(Repeat Chorus)

Does anyone fancy a shake?
Shake
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Shake it to the left - Shake it to the right - Let's shake
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

I think of you and lick my lips
You've got the taste I can't resist
Can't resist - can't resist
Let's eat to the beat

Nobody feels any pain
Tonight as I stand inside the rain
Ev'rybody knows
That Baby's got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

Queen Mary, she's my friend
Yes, I believe I'll go see her again
Nobody has to guess
That Baby can't be blessed
Till she sees finally that she's like all the rest
With her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

It was raining from the first
And I was dying there of thirst
So I came in here
And your long-time curse hurts
But what's worse
Is this pain in here
I can't stay in here
Ain't it clear that--

I just can't fit
Yes, I believe it's time for us to quit
When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don't let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world.
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl.

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

Ambling madly all over the town
The call to arms, you're likened to a whisper
I liken to a radio
You were a brick bag a bowery tuff, so rough
They called you from a cartoon
Pulled out of your pantaloons

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build all the bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey hey heyyyy
She acts like summer and she walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey hey heyyyy
Since her return from her stay on the moon,
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey hey heyyyy

...et cetera. Fuck this band.

I put my hand on your stocking, I was movin' nice and slow
Let my fingers do the walking, and there ain't far to go

Don't tell me "I don't wanna be a girl like that"
Do you wanna see a grown man cry?
You don't wanna be a girl like that
Baby this could be the first time (this could be the first time)

Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, t-t-t-t-tease me
Take it easy, hug and squeeze
A naughty naughty, naughty, I'm a naughty naughty guy

-John Parr, "Naughty Naughty"

Whoa, I've never actually paid attention to the lyrics to "Ironic" before! They're sooooo bad!

Ladies and gentlemen, it's "Titles" by Barclay James Harvest:

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Here comes the sun it's all right
People shout for more
But were you trying to deceive telling me
All you need is love to succeed
Lady Madonna let it be
Something in the way you moved me yesterday
All you need is love so they say

Across the universe
One after nine 'o' nine
I got a feeling for you blue
And I feel fine
I tried so hard to make believe that I'd see
All you need is love to succeed

Lady Madonna let it be
Something in the way you moved me yesterday
All you need is love so they say

Imagine nowhere man
In my life's where you'd be
Band on the run can't buy you love and I agree
It was a long and winding road
Before I'd see
The fool upon the hill was really me

Lady Madonna let it be
Something in the way you moved me yesterday
All you need is love so they say

Hulk Hogan-Beach Patrol

I was walking down the beach
Looking for some action
Had my radio set on a rap-rap station
Saw a girl in trouble, a sticky situation
She wanted me to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation

We are the beach patrol
We wanna party party party
We are the beach patrol
We wanna party party party

We were cruisin’ down the beach
Checking out the action
Had my radio rockin’ to a heavy metal station
Putting on some shades, trying to catch some rays
When I caught the lifeguard messin’ with my babe

Kneel down in awe of the genius that is Emerson Lake & Palmer's A Taste Of My Love

Most genius verse in italics.

A Taste Of My Love

Ohhh, you look so hungry woman
how come you strayed in here with your eyes so bright
on this long hot night.
Could it be for a taste of my love
Down on your knees with your face to the wall
Saying please please please.

My friend said I should call
well I do feel lonely woman
And to tell the truth , I could use some company
to come closer to me.
Help yourself to a taste of my love.

Call up room service, order peaches and cream
I like my desert first - if you know what I mean.
Yeah, taste it , taste it, taste it
Around the maze of pleasure to the gates of pain,
you're driving me insane.

Take all you need from the taste of my love
I want to love you like nobody ever loved you
Get on my stallion and we'll ride.
I want to hold you and enfold you beyond reason
I want to dynamite your mind with love tonight.
Go down gently with your face to the east
The sun may be rising but we haven't finished the beast.

Ohhh, you still look hungry woman
I'm glad your came in here with your eyes so bright,
on this long hot night
You need love - I need love, here it comes , the taste of my love.

I'm gonna love you like nobody ever loved you
climb on my rocket and we'll fly.
Over the moon past the sun till we find
the gates of heaven open wide for lovers
I'm gonna love you like nobody ever loved you
climb on my rocket and we'll fly.

(Speechless)

sounds like tenacious d

Carl Palmer's gonna come out the sidehatch

The lyrics don't even do it justice. It must be heard to be fully appreciated. Keith Emerson subtly lays down a Charlie Chan-esque Oriental keyboard riff after the "Face to the east" line. And he does some type of charge SFX after "stallion and we'll ride"

ELP's Love Beach is far and away my favorite prog album because of insane stuff like this.

French kissin' in the USA
French kissin' in the USA!
French kissin' in the USA
French kissin' in the USA!
Lips are in motion - ocean to ocean -
Paris is calling - falling we're falling -

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

"you're in my heart, just like a tattoo"

(Lyrics cannot conceivably be worse than these, which are from a current 'hit' from Pat something or other (Monahan?))

She’s not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid, true religion gets it all
If they fit right.

She’s a little bit manic, completely organic
Doesn’t panic for the most part.

She’s old enough to know, and young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets.
Like everybody, she’s in over her head,
Dreads Feds, Grateful Dead, and doesn’t take meds.

She’s a Gemini Capricorn
Thinks all men are addicted to porn.
I don’t agree with her half the time,
But, damn I’m glad she’s mine.

Her eyes, that’s where hope lies.
That’s where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that’s where I go
When I go home.

She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.

Tells me that she lives about a hundred lives,
Scares me to death when she thinks and drives,
Says cowboy hats make her look fat,
and I’m so glad she’s mine.

Her eyes, that’s where hope lies.
That’s where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that’s where I go
When I go home.

She doesn’t know the word ‘impossible’
Don’t care where I’ve been and doesn’t care where we’re goin’ to.
She takes me as I am, and that ain’t easy.
She’s beautiful. So beautiful.

And sometimes I think she’s truly crazy.
And I love it.

Her eyes, that’s where hope lies.
That’s where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that’s where I go
When I go home.

Her eyes, that’s where hope lies.
That’s where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that’s where I go
When I go home.

She’s not afraid
she just likes to use her night light.

"you're in my heart, just like a tattoo"

-- trashthumb, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 20:36 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Whoa! WHAT?

I'm sorry, but this

She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.

is genius

My friends, I think it's time we opened the Ocean Colour Scene songbook;

The house caught on fire in the winter

the bosses lay slain

and each of the workers decided to ten-fold their pay

and they saw in the mirror the sun had been shot down in flames

and nobody minded the hole in the sky or the rain

but it doesn't really matter when the judgements are said

'cos we all take our chances to find out romance is in some others bed

and you might burn your fingers hock your best rings for those

who'd have you standing naked then publicly auction the use of a hose

all the children were laughing their faces in half at the pain

of the girl who loved talking to walls and jumping at trains

and the words that ring true in the playground of fools will remain

and nobody minded the hole in the sky or the rain

but it doesn't really matter when the rights have been read

'cos we all take our chances to glance at the wife in the opposite bed

and I bet Nero and Pilate could easily explain

how policemen & pirates get stoned in glass houses just finding their way.

Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky
It had the one long horn, one big eye
I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"
It looks like a purple eater to me

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
(One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater)
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me (One eye?)

Well he came down to earth and he lit in a tree
I said Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me
I heard him say in a voice so gruff
I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me (One horn?)

I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line
He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine
But that's not the reason that I came to land
I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater
(We wear short shorts)
Flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me

And then he swung from the tree and he lit on the ground
He started to rock, really rockin' around
It was a crazy ditty with a swingin' tune
Sing a boop boop aboopa lopa lum bam boom

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater
I like short shorts
Flyin' little people eater
Sure looks strange to me (Purple People?)

And then he went on his way, and then what do ya know
I saw him last night on a TV show
He was blowing it out, a'really knockin' em dead
Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in his head

[Clarinet solo]

Tequila

Come on, there's no way that's worse than other lyrics that have been posted here.

Take your time and make me love you good
Take your time and make me love you good
Take your time and make me love you good
Take your time and make me love you good

Love me 'til I want no more
Make me feel the spirit 'til I have to go

Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again

Show me what you feel when you hold me close
Let me see you twist and give me a sexy dose

Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again

Rock me baby, make my face get soaking wet
Rock me, Lord baby, 'bout to work me to death
Rock me baby, like my back ain't got no bone
Rock me good, good bad, then leave me alone

Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again
Rock me again and again and again and again
and again and again

Ambling madly all over the town
The call to arms, you likened to a whisper
I liken to a radio
You were a brickbat, a bowery tough, so rough
They culled you from a cartoon
Pulled out of your pantaloons

An old favourite of mine, although I think King Crimson were firmly in self-parody mode by this time...

And if Warhol's a genius, what am I,
A speck of lint on the penis of an alien
Buried in gelatin
Beneath the sands of Venus

elan seems to have learned the correct lyrics to The Soldiering Life sometime in the past seven months.

I haven't clicked to view all the stuff in the middle of this thread but I'm convinced that MarkR has the win with "A World Gone Mad." It's a shame because, yeah, I mean, their hearts were in the right places and it was nice to hear the sentiments at that moment in time, but, I mean, read these bits again and tell me there's been anything worse posted on this thread:

Now don't get us wrong 'cause we love America
But that's no reason to get hysterica
They're layin' on the syrup thick
We ain't waffles we ain't havin' it

Say ooh ah what's the White House doin'?
Oh no! Say, what in tarnation have they got brewing??!!!!???!!

George Bush you're looking like Zoolander
Trying to play tough for the camera

"Untouched" - The Veronicas

I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah
lalalalalalalala

lalalalalalalala
I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want
Don't stop
Give me give me give me what you got got
Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more
Don't even talk about the consequence
Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me
And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think
Cause you're the only one who's on my mind
I'll never ever let you leave me
I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye (bye bye bye)

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

There's more...but it's not any better

Purple People Eater is awesome, WTF!

lol

Hot Action Cop to thread.

-- Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, March 12, 2003 1:04 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

This durstworthy line on the new Estelle album

Yeah, you sound like shit, like you're taking a piss

Almost ruins the whole album for me.

I love the song but "I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are" and "how can you catch the sparrow?" are such hippie ridiculousness.

Emily Chambers would make it pay
Everyone knew she`d turn out that way
She turned her back and she`ll be okay
But she`s not okay at all

Every night with the radio on
Emily fears that the day won`t come
The moon is there to do her harm
She`s not all right at all

Don`t get arrested
Don`t buy a machine gun
You`re on the run
And you`re not on the scene
You`re not so cool
And you`re not a jerk
You may be a villain
But no Patty Hearst
You`re Emily Chambers
And what`s worse
Is a whipping wind
And a box in a hearse
And a trigger in your head
And a pen in your hand
And the pain in the verse
And the flat drying land
And the thin of the air
And a pain that hurts
You`re Emily Chambers in the universe

Girl you're in the kitchen
Cooking me a meal
Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel
Walk around in your t-shirt
Nothing else on
Strutting pass, switching that ass while I'm on the phone
Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes
Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang
I want

Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed

Argh someone just had to post Sex in the Kitchen, didn't they.

The car won't start--it's Falling apart
I was late for work and the boss got smart
My pantyline shows--got a run in my hose
My hair went flat--man, I hate that

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse
I realized I forgot my purse
With all this stress--I must confess
This could be worse than PMS

This job ain't worth the pay
Can't wait 'til the end of the day
Honey, I'm on my way
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat
Honey, I'm back, my head's killing me
I need to relax and watch TV
Get off the phone--give the dog a bone
Hey! Hey! Honey, I'm home

Are you solid
Are you solid as a rock
Have you a strong foundation
Or can your soul be bought
It ain't true that
Everybody's got a price
I sing this song for everyone
Who stands up for their rights
Every brother is a Star
Every sister is a star
Every brother is a star
Every sister is a star
Sister Rosa, Malcom X & Dr. King
Showed us we got power
Showed what changes we could bring
To change society
You have gotta change the law
Their bodies may be gone
But their spirits still live on
Repeat Chorus
Rebel souls
For the dreamers, rebel souls & future days
Be brave & strong
Keep keepin' on
Be conscious in the chaos
The queen of England
There's no greater anarchist
One man's freedom fighter
Is another's terrorist
Repeat chorus (2x)

Primal Scream Star lyrics

The VCR and the DVD
There wasn't none of that crap back in 1970
We didnt know about a world wide web
It was a whole different game being played back when I was a kid
Wanna get down in a cool way
Picture yourself on a beautiful day
Big bell bottoms and groovy long hair
Just walkin in style with a portable CD player
No, you would listen to the music on the AM radio
Yeah, you could hear the music on a AM radio

- Everclear, "AM Radio"

Niggas in the Bronx call me Lex 'cause I push a Lex.
And I rock a Rolex.
And I lounge on Lex.
And I love sex.

This song triggers some really hard realizations for me, In a lot of ways I see myself as that rat in a cage.

Let’S fly, let’s fly, fly, fly Ryanair, We’re gonna take you there, fly, fly Ryanair,

Let’s fly, let’s fly, fly fly Ryanair, We’re gonna take you there, fly, fly Ryanair,

Sit down, relax, time to step in, Buy a juice for Little Johnny and get yourself a Gin,

We got sweets, treats, lots of goodies on the trolley for you,

Whatever it is that you need, ask the friendly cabin crew,

Let’s fly, let’s fly, fly, fly Ryanair, We’re gonna take you there, fly, fly Ryanair,

Let’s fly, let’s fly, fly, fly Ryan-air,

We’re gonna take you there, fly, fly Ryanair…

Some will strut and some will fret
See this an hour on the stage
Others will not but theyll sweat
In their hopelessness and their rage
We're all the same the men of anger
And women of the page

They published your diary
And that's how I got to know you
The key to the room of your own and a mind without end
And heres a young girl
On a kind of a telephone line through time
And the voice at the other end comes like a long lost friend
So I know Im all right
Life will come and life will go
Still I feel its all right
Cause I just got a letter to my soul
And when my whole life is on the tip of my tongue
Empty pages for the no longer young
The apathy of time laughs in my face
You say each life has its place

The hatches were battened
The thunderclouds rolled and the critics stormed
The battle surrounded the white flag of your youth
If you need to know that you weathered the storm
Of cruel mortality
A hundred years later Im sitting here living proof
So you know youre all right
(all right)
Life will come and life will go
(life will come and go)
Still youll feel its all right
(all right)
Someonell get a letter to your soul
(someone gets your soul)
When your whole life is on the tip of your tongue
Empty pages for the no longer young
The apathy of time laughed in your face
Did you hear me say each life has its place

The place where you hold me
Dark in a pocket of truth
The moon had swallowed the sun and the light of the earth
And so it was for you
When the river eclipsed your life
And sent your soul like a message in a bottle to me
And it was my rebirth
So we know were all right
(all right)
Though life will come and life will go
(though life will come and life will go)
Still youll feel its all right
(all right)
Someonell will get a letter to your soul
(someone gets your soul)
Then you know youre all right
(when my whole life is on the tip of my tongue)
Then you feel youre all right
(empty pages for the no longer young)
And your hear dry you eyes
(you said)
And you know its all right
(each life has its place)
And your hear dry your eyes
(you said)
And you know its all right
(each life has its place)
And its all right
(itll be all right)

Seasons must change
Separate paths, separate ways
If we blame it on anything
Let's blame it on the rain

I knew it all along
I'd have to write this song
Too young to fall in love
Guess we knew it all along

That's alright, that's okay
We were walkin' through some youth
Smilin' through some pain
That's alright, that's okay
Let's turn the page

We were walkin' through some youth

This is actually kind of genius and would be recognized as such if it were from a Blackbyrds song or something.

"I took a look into your hate
It made me feel very up-to-date"

The VCR and the DVD
There wasn't none of that crap back in 1970
We didnt know about a world wide web
It was a whole different game being played back when I was a kid
Wanna get down in a cool way
Picture yourself on a beautiful day
Big bell bottoms and groovy long hair
Just walkin in style with a portable CD player
No, you would listen to the music on the AM radio
Yeah, you could hear the music on a AM radio

- Everclear, "AM Radio"

― Doctor Casino, Sunday, July 27, 2008 12:52 AM (4 years ago)

I thought freeform FM radio was the chosen format of hippies, whereas AM radio was reserved for unadventurous Top 40 stuff. It's sad to imagine baby Everclear getting down to The Archies and The Partridge Family and no one having the heart to tell him how pathetic he looked. since it's an Everclear song, I doubt the irony is intentional.

Sour cream, in salad or in soup
With you inside me I can really loop the loop the loop
Civilization will flower
Black, brown, and white can have cow power.
When we all have plenty of sour cream.
Civilization will flower
Black, brown, and white can have cow power.
When we all have plenty of sour cream.

-Pete Seeger, "Sour Cream"
Words and Music by Pete Seeger (1976)

How could I fail to give her
When she cried such a lot
People change but we don't falter
Cause we use what we've got

SUCH A LOT? SUCH A LOT? what the fuck, barney? what the fuck?
most of new order's output is like this. beautiful, beautiful music. lyrics bordering on the infantile. it might be on purpose, it might not, i don't care. "such a lot" is unforgivable.

― soundnfury, Wednesday, March 12, 2003 12:54 AM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

amazing post

I thought freeform FM radio was the chosen format of hippies, whereas AM radio was reserved for unadventurous Top 40 stuff. It's sad to imagine baby Everclear getting down to The Archies and The Partridge Family and no one having the heart to tell him how pathetic he looked. since it's an Everclear song, I doubt the irony is intentional.

Why do you assume Everclear were hippies? They were little kids during the 1970s. Plus, freeform FM radio didn't really exist after 1972, it all became strictly formatted by programmers after then. Plus, Top 40 was wildly eclectic in the '70s. It was The Partridge Family, but then it was Black Sabbath or Kraftwerk or Donna Summer. It was a lot more unpredictable than it is now.

There's a Jessie J song where she repeatedly says that 'it's OK not to be OK'

I mean I'd have to agree with that sentiment but the whiny way she says it makes me wish that she'd just shut the fuck up

“Lately I've been sipping on a soda.
And I'm chilling with a hottie and she's really into yoga.”

Every second counts
When I am with you
I think you are a pig
You should be in a zoo

- New Order, Every Little Counts.

Beat that.

this is the longest i've ever seen a discussion about bad lyrics last without someone mentioning des'ree, 'Life.' so i'll do the honours:

Ooh, Yeah
Oh yeah
Oh Life
Oh Life

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life

I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care

Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life

So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon

Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life..
― pete b. (pete b.), woensdag 12 maart 2003 10:44

Saw an old performance of this song on German TV on New Year’s night and this is still the dampest and dumbest squid>>squib ever (not even the BALLOON! can save it).

that new order lyric rules

I keep a rabbits' tail

She’s not even doing this right, is she(?)

LOL

Everything - Hooch vs. LFO - Summer Girls vs. Crazy Town - Butterfly
Rusted Root Neologisms

Maybe this is fruit is too low-hanging, but:

Yo listen up, here's a story
about a little guy that lives in a blue world

(Lord, I can't even bring myself to type the rest of it)

I'm imagining an alternate and greatly abbreviated version of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme where Will Smith clumsily delivers just those two lines before the show abruptly cuts to commercial and it's kinda killing me rn.

She put the her in hurt
She put the why in try
She put the S.O.B. In sober
She put the hang in hangover (hangover)
She put the ex in sex
She put the low in blow
She put a big F.U. in my future
Yeah she's got a way
She's got a way with words
Yeah she's got a way with words

The whole thing is a masterclass in debasing the English language.

& the Fresh Prince theme is a masterclass in compressed storytelling IMO

nothing wrong with that new order line!

ILM gonna ILM.

Had to Google that Blake Shelton lyric because I guessed Amanda Palmer

I guess Gwen Stefani has a definite type, huh.

If they combined their powers, I'm sure Rossdale and Shelton could end the scourge of the English language once and for all.

We turned the dirt and worked until the week's done
We take a break and break bread on Sunday
And then do it all again
We live in a wheel
Where everyone steals
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields
'Cause we're proud to be from God's country (Yeah, yeah)

"She has robes and she has monkeys
Lazy diamond studded flunkies”

Real-life Spinal Tap award goes to:

Your body was honey
I tasted a lot
But let me tell you, babe
I need more than you got

i don't remember if i posted them on here years ago but to this day Bush have the worst rock lyrics i've ever read. like they were creating AI-generated grunge lyrics before it was possible!

And will you rain down
In your cinematic love truck
I'm gonna hold you like
Nothing's gonna stop us

And she comes to take me away
She's all that I needed
I don't breathe another lover
No

Flicker on a TV screen
Everything's more than it seems
The mighty backward fall
We stare at the light on the wall

And I swear to this
She felt like velvet
Second blonde child
Like velvet, velvet

Do you feel the way you hate?
Do you hate the way you feel?
Always closest to the flame
Ever closer to the blade
Yeah

[Verse 2]
I am poison crazy lush
Built these hands to lift me up
We are servants of our formulaic ways

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm screaming daisies
From 14 miles away
I've got my own time
Got it all today

[Chorus]
Make up your mind
I need some help
To find this mind, mind, mind

Limbo this and limbo that
You were this and you were that
Ever know that what you fear is what you find

[Pre-Chorus]
This indian summer
I signed my life away
There's a greedy fly in here
And I fly away

[Chorus]
Make up your mind
I need some help
To find this mind, mind, mind

Make up your mind
I need some help
To find this mind, mind, mind
Mind, mind, mind, mind
Mind, mind, mind

still dying over this one:

Gonna rock, and roll this place
With the power of the ninja turtle bass

thinking of a Ninja Turtle bass as an alternative to a Precision or a Rickenbacker or something. "Why don't we do another take and you try playing it on the Ninja Turtle bass? It'll sound more powerful."