"Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood -- ENOUGH ALREADY!

your problem is that you have gone through the time tunnel and are living in May 2007, just find the vortex again and your problem will be solved

(actually no the deal is, and this is a little weird: they're rereleasing the song this month as part of some desperate maybe-we-can-sell-records-this-way effort - the song, plus a b-side or two, and a ringtone of the song delivered directly to your sell. They have even come up with a name for this new product that combines the selling of music on a physical format & the transmission of music as data to your phone. You have to wait for the name of the product because it is just too awesome.)

It makes me ashamed to be a member of the human race.

See it's like a single but it has a ringtone so it's a

I can't say it

It's then a ringle?

(I do like this song though, think it's a clever little top 40 jam with some nice changes & and good placement of detail ("that bathroom Polo") but I have some typical-of-me issues with the chorus ("slashed a hole in all four tires?" no, you didn't; you either slashed all four tires, or you punched a hole in each one of the them, but you didn't "slash a hole" in anything, friend) - the verses though, they're good, and the bridge isn't bad either)

xpost YES ALEX IT IS A RINGLE A RINGLE OH MY SWEET LOVING JESUS PEOPLE LET US WELCOME THE AGE OF THE RINGLE

wax cylinder
78
45
LP
8-track
cassette
DAT
CD
HDCD
Ringle

I just bought a minidisc player. Don't forget that.

you better throw that shit away! Ringles are what's next!!

I've actually liked the song the more I hear it, for the reasons John mentioned. I would advise listening to it as if it were a really great late seventies Linda Ronstadt song but Alex probably wishes slow death for her too.

TS: Miranda Lambert's "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" vs "Before He Cheats."

if Pringles fails to to do a cross-promotion with this I'm going on a hunger strike

I don't think I've heard this song- the radio was stolen out of my car a few months ago. I looked up the lyrics to this song, and what's excellent is how it documents the primacy of the truck in a Southern Man's consciousness. We had a tree fall down in our yard, and our neighbor volunteered to cut it up and put it on his woodpile. When it came time to haul it away, did he put in the bed of his gigantic Ford pickup? No! Can't scratch the baby! He hitched a beat-to-shit trailer to the pickup, and put the wood in there.

Also the line "Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo..." would be terrifying if Rick James was singing this.

your problem is that you have gone through the time tunnel and are living in May 2007 2006.

The interview with Carrie Underwood in this week's EW is good. She's very, very determined to be Country, not Pop. And I love that she's started co-writing a few songs now - she says it had never really occurred to her to write a song, before she found herself in this position.

This is one of my top five singles of the year. (nb: I don't follow country, so I'm experiencing it as an '07 single, rather than as an '06 single or an '05 album track.) My favorite line is "Right now he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey" as if fruity little drinks are a giant affront to REAL WOMANhood and the strict territory of bleach-blond bimbos.

Big xp to J0hn: You pedant, there's nothing that says a hole is perfectly round.

Smaller xp to bendy: The truck thing, yes!

But both of you hit on what's important. This song is all about details, details, details. I should also mention I have a fetish for songs that tie the chorus to the verse like this, even if the way it's here is a little bit clunky.

i hate this song too. the answer is to have some high-db kelly clarkson at the ready for response.

Great pop single, one I went from hating to loving over a bunch of listens (not something that happens very often the older I get). Just sounded SO pedestrian at first until one day I actually listened, and--wow.

My only other qualm is that the bridge is just kind of...there.

nonsense rev! lyrically yeah it's not much of a bridge but key-changewise it's really a great settling-in. Song is clever in a lot of ways. I anticipate a long and fruitful life for it as a RINGLE

I dunno, it feels underwhelming to me after the outstanding verses and chorus, and it sounds like she's straining to hit notes that should be right comfortably within her range.

I think "ringle" is actually just

i mean i can't even

what the

Very good pop single (and hence destined to be overplayed). The only thing keeping it from greatness is the chorus - repeating the same revenge tactics each time rather than embellishing is a missed opportunity.

J0hn D OTM re: bathroom Polo.

when O when will I be able to buy a Bathory ringle

'Greasy? Not fun. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh.' is haunting me now. Thankfully I already ate some Pop Tarts, another poppable food. I guess I should mention the song, "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood, so I'll be on topic.

and a ringtone of the song delivered directly to your sell.
-- J0hn D., Saturday, October 20, 2007 8:13 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

intentional?

Don't worry, her new single is rising up the charts and the new album comes out next week and she will dominate the charts with something else that you decide to hate.

I like it and am looking forward to the Haikunym-predicted domination.

I haven't heard her new single. I should give it an ear. A weird break from the ur-Timbaland stuff I've been listening to all morning, but whatever.

Ugh, platitudes. That did nothing for me.

it sounds like she's straining to hit notes that should be right comfortably within her range

THIS IS HOW SHE ALWAYS SOUNDS AND WHY SHE'S HELLACIOUSLY ANNOYING TO LISTEN TO.

This is a good song that I wish someone else sang. Also I hate the repetitive chorus because I feel like he's actually caught on by the third time she's carved her name into his seats as to what's going on; it's like the guys I went to high school with who tried to run a truck over the football team, drove off, and then drove back into the waiting arms of the police. (Yes I know she's not doing it multiple times in the context of the song but the repetition makes it feel that way to me.)

it's like the guys I went to high school with who tried to run a truck over the football team, drove off, and then drove back into the waiting arms of the police

Dan, please, set this to rhyme.

Was his name Mickey?

Actually, I have it on somewhat fourth-hand authority that well-meaning label plans for Ringles may be DERAILED! Which would be horrible, given ringles' obvious potential for ringleness. But I can say no more.

("Before He Cheats" made my top five last year, by the way. It's great.)

Underwood one's on Amazon, though (with a non-non-LP B-side! wtf?)

http://www.amazon.com/Before-Cheats-Ringle-Carrie-Underwood/dp/B000W4HLRO

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_m/102-3364748-8926550?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Dpopular&field-keywords=ringle&x=0&y=0

I do need to get a ringle before the vanish, a perfect artifact of the age. Like the exercise water bottle I found in 1992 with a troll printed on it, above the word "NOT!".

They're (possibly not) ringlin' baby.

Wha-wha-wha-wait...Someone at a record company thought bringing back cd singles is a good idea...in 2007? Cd singles with attached ringtones that cost more than it would to d/l the songs and ringtones separately? BRILLIANT! That's incredible, really.

Plus, I think the ringtone doesn't work 'til you pop it in the computer and verify it with the mothership. It's a profound thing.

Just went downstairs to pick up my laundry and it was playing AGAIN. SOMEONE PLEASE BLOW UP THE EARTH AT ONCE!

Where is this in its journey for the Hot 100 longevity record?

The funny thing is that this is one of the more tolerable songs on Modern Pop Country radio.

If I have to listen to Lay Me Down at work one more time I'm going to go find that man and give him his deathwish.

Where is this in its journey for the Hot 100 longevity record?

Tied for third with 62 weeks. Only three more to go until she ties Jewel and seven more until she catches up to LeeAnn Rimes.

I think I've heard this song out and about maybe once or twice -- otherwise, it's very this time last year for me.

(i.e., when I first heard it and reviewed it)

I like it, btw:

As someone who disdains the predictable trad-rock trappings that generally characterize the sound of contemporary country, I'm constantly surprised at how the genre routinely wins me over. Most of the time, it comes down to two elements that country has in abundance: strong, charismatic performers and clever, richly detailed lyrics. On "Before He Cheats," Underwood snarls about a "white-trash version of Shania karaoke" and "three-dollar bathroom Polo" in a big, pliant voice that seethes with contempt at the right moments. If the sonic palette is rather conventional, that's fine: it makes the song's real charms all the more apparent.

(Xpost)

Rev:

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/chart_beat/bonus.jsp

And speaking of longevity, Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" (Arista) retreats 37-44 on The Billboard Hot 100 in its 62nd chart week. That means Underwood is tied with Lifehouse for having the longest-charting single of this century.

Carrie is also catapulted into third place among the longest-running songs in this chart's 49 1/2-year history. Only LeAnn Rimes' "How Do I Live" and Jewel's "You Were Meant for Me" / "Foolish Games" have had longer chart runs, and they are facing a strong challenge from Underwood to hold on to their standings.

Here is a list of the four-longest running songs in Hot 100 history:

69 weeks: "How Do I Live," LeAnn Rimes (1997)
65 weeks: "You Were Meant for Me" / "Foolish Games," Jewel (1997)
62 weeks: "You and Me," Lifehouse (2005)
62 weeks: "Before He Cheats," Carrie Underwood (2007)

asjdfghfskjdhgjkas;dl

wtf America

i could think of like 500 worse songs than "before he cheats" that charted over that 62 week span.

wtf ILX...There's nothing wrong with 62 weeks of a good song, yet alone 62 weeks of "Before He Cheats"

yes it's much better than the 2 other songs above it.

Stockholm syndrome.

How did I miss the supposed ubiquity of that Lifehouse song?

I mean, I heard it and all, but nowhere near as much as Leann or Carrie or Jewel.

THAT LIFEHOUSE SONG WAS EVERYWHERE

I really hate to admit that because I fucking HATE when people are like "I've never heard a Hoobastank song" and I'm like "Of course you fucking have" and they go (really fucking smugly) "I don't listen to the radio or watch the television so where would I have heard it?" and then I shout "How about America, you fucking asshole"

It blows my mind that I can't place that song, since I DO listen to the radio and DO watch MTV and DO watch Fuse and DO watch Vh1 and DO show up early enough to watch the ads at the movie theater and DO listen to commercials and DO listen to what's playing in the cab or the grocery store.

But yeah, am I realy alone in thinking that Lifehouse was less omnipresent as Carrie and Leann and Jewel? Or did I just push that song from my head?

I do know "Hanging By A Moment."

Rockist.

i think i could sing most of "hanging by a moment," but i know not one thing about that lifehouse song. i dont know if ive ever heard it or if i just htought it was a nother band, but im in the same boat as you, whiney w/r/t/ basically everything you said upthread? did this get played on MTV? i guess i don't listen to rock radio though.

yeah, i'll sing "Hanging By A Moment" right now.

C'mon, even my mom knows this song

I kind of remember the Lifehouse song just because it was in the first batch of songs I ever reviewed for the Stylus Singles Jukebox.

Ah yes:

Every high-school prom needs a waltz to confuse the clumsy kids trying to slow dance.
[3]

Well it's you and me
And all of the people
With nothing to lose
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me
And all of the people
And I don't know why
I can't take my eyes off of you

THIS SONG WAS PLAYED 24/7 EVERYONE BY EVERYTHING

ONE OF THOSE WORDS SHOULD BE "EVERYWHERE"

You do know that Lifehouse song b/c Dan OTM - I couldn't tell you where I ever heard it except everywhere. You just never connected it with Lifehouse, that band that put out that kinda decent single way back when The Calling were getting airplay, or imagined people caring about it, singing along with it, or getting laid to it, let alone buying it in large quantities for 62 weeks.

Lifehouse can also be heard in the new Dodge TV spot. The melody on that one is insanely familiar, somewhere between the Carpenters' "Hurting Each Other" and something else I can't place.

haha okay i've heard this before. WOW AHAHA ok WOW I NEVER KNEW THIS WAS LIFEHOUSE.

i feel fucking ridiculous for not knowing that this song was that.

^^^jordan s. liveblogs his stream of thoughts while watching "you and me"

apologies for obnoxious third person reference.

Some enterprising young director in 2018 will use "Hanging By a Moment" like "The Sopranos" and Monster did Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" and we'll love it.

Using 'we' in the royal sense, I hope.

The difference is, "Don't Stop Believin'" was a monster single, as era-defining in its way as e.g. "Keep On Lovin' You," and "Hanging My A Moment" was a not-terrible crypto christrock radio single. Like, that same enterprising director could go with "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)" and we'd all be just as "oh, yeah, haha, I get it."

Hanging by a Moment" is the single that catapulted rock group Lifehouse to fame, peaking at number-one in Australia and number two in the United States. It was also the most played radio track of 2001 in the US.

I didn't know that that song was Lifehouse either!

Sophistry sir! By 2001 radio had been clear-channeled, consumer-clinic'd and market-segmented into a weak shadow of what it had been in 1980.

For recent context, the most-played radio track of 2006 was Mary J's "Be Without You," and the most-played track of 2005 was Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together."

Mary J's "Be Without You,"

^^^song is so so awesome.

i remember hearing "hanging by a moment" everywhere back then though.

"Be Without You" is lots better than "Before He Cheats" and that Lifehouse one whose name I can no longer type.

"Be Without You" = terrible production, amazing vocal

(the acapella is better than the track itself)

I'm another one who could have sung you "Hanging By a Moment", but listening to "You & Me", it doesn't sound familiar at all beyond its general rote MOR schlockishness.

Maybe I have heard it before. But the thing is, "Before He Cheats" and "We Belong Together" and "Be Without You" are great songs; "How Do I Live" and "You Were Meant For Me" and, yes, "Hanging By a Moment" at least have enough of a tune (or at least enough of a hook, I can't think of what any of their verses sound like) that I can recall them from memory without ever having listened to them of my own volition; "Me & You", however, is so relentlessly flat and uninteresting that it could wash past me an infinite number of times unnoticed.

Standards, people, starndards! How about raising them? REJECT THE SOMA!!!!!

Your shtick gets old.

Actually, put all those song titles together and...a song! Or something.

"Before he cheats, we belong together
Be without you? How do I live?
You were meant for me
Hanging by a moment...me & you"

Hallmark, when you care enough, etc.

Your shtick gets old.

Ah, but your bad taste remains evergreen.

*bows with aplomb*

(haha @ Ned's poetry)

"Before He Cheats" is one of the worst songs of the year. There is nothing good about it, and you are all morons. Carrie Underwood is too fucking young and stupid to bring any anger into her vocals, the chorus isn't catchy, the verses suck.

But more than that, this song just offends me on a personal level. There's John Mayer's devastating takedown of the song -- "This isn't about a cheating guy, it's about a girl who got dumped and can't deal with it" -- but it's more than just that, it's the simplistic self-righteousness of it. Cheated on? Destroy the guy's car! That solves that problem! No, it fucking doesn't, people. For one thing, it's a crazy bitch ex thing to do, and for a second, it doesn't even begin to address the issue. Retaliating to an emotional violation on a physical object just DOESN'T FUCKING WORK, no matter how much he loved that truck. In its peak, this song was sharing airplay with JT's much more satisfying "What Comes Around...", which understood that revenge is a dish best served cold -- not cheerfully, not righteously, and not sung by a goddamn American Idol. If your emotional pain can be sated by destroying someone's car, <b>you didn't care that much to begin with</b>, in which case you're an insane person for damaging someone's car for an apparently trivial matter. Maybe if Carrie was a good enough singer to present as something other than a feminist uplift piece -- if she could bring some anger or nastiness to it, or do something with the implication that the cheating is only happening in her head -- maybe this song could have been worth something. As it is, fuck this song and everyone who enjoys it.

miranda lambert

the chorus isn't catchy

also wtf the verses rule. "some white trash version of shania karaoke"; "he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey"; "3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo"

the john mayer is devastatingly taking down is your credibility.

There's John Mayer's devastating takedown of the song -- "This isn't about a cheating guy, it's about a girl who got dumped and can't deal with it"

I thought Mayer had been listening to music all these years.

The verses are great but the chorus sucks balls. Also, the real problem with Carrie Underwood isn't so much that she can't sing as much as it is that her range is slightly smaller than an octave, making it nigh impossible for her to impart vocal emotion without sounding like a third-rate cabaret singer. She's doing what she can with what she has, but there's only so far she can go (and that distance is wholly out of place with the kudos that are heaped on top of her; someone like Sade gets tons of kudos because working the ice queen angle enhances a narrow vocal range whereas you would expect someone who is clearly going for the fire-and-brimstone approach to have a range the size of Xtina).

"Before He Cheats" has some of the same problems as "Irreplaceable" with the crucial difference that the verses of "BHC" make Carrie Underwood sound pissed off while the verses of "I" make Beyonce sound like a total dumbass.

"Before He Cheats" is one of the worst songs of the year.

RONG

There is nothing good about it,

RONG

and you are all morons.

RONG

Carrie Underwood is too fucking young and stupid to bring any anger into her vocals,

RONG

the chorus isn't catchy,

RONG

the verses suck.

RONG

But more than that, this song just offends me on a personal level. There's John Mayer's devastating takedown of the song -- "This isn't about a cheating guy, it's about a girl who got dumped and can't deal with it" --

John Mayer is correct, but an emotionally confused song can be much more interesting than an emotionally straightforward song.

but it's more than just that, it's the simplistic self-righteousness of it.

RONG

Cheated on? Destroy the guy's car! That solves that problem! No, it fucking doesn't, people. For one thing, it's a crazy bitch ex thing to do, and for a second, it doesn't even begin to address the issue. Retaliating to an emotional violation on a physical object just DOESN'T FUCKING WORK, no matter how much he loved that truck.

Right, right, but Vulcan-pop would be boring.

In its peak, this song was sharing airplay with JT's much more satisfying "What Comes Around...",

As much as I like "What Come Around...", RONG

which understood that revenge is a dish best served cold -- not cheerfully, not righteously, and not sung by a goddamn American Idol.

RONG

If your emotional pain can be sated by destroying someone's car, <b>you didn't care that much to begin with</b>, in which case you're an insane person for damaging someone's car for an apparently trivial matter.

Again not disagreeing, but the song is better for its confusion.

Maybe if Carrie was a good enough singer to present as something other than a feminist uplift piece -- if she could bring some anger or nastiness to it, or do something with the implication that the cheating is only happening in her head -- maybe this song could have been worth something.

Dude, you're wrong.

As it is, fuck this song

RONG

and everyone who enjoys it.

Correct.

http://www.harleyrace.com/wlw/holden_110301/jett6s.jpg

as you can tell by his pants, rev is doing it for the good of the country.

"he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey"

I love that line. Other woman has failed to keep it real.

she sings the verses w/ a lot of disdain. idk what this dude is talking about.

Oh yeah. That guy and especially the other bitch are the scum of the earth.

"Again not disagreeing, but the song is better for its confusion."

I don't hear confusion, I hear dead certainty. It's not confused or conflicted, it's just wrongheaded.

That's what I meant by "confused".

The wrongheadedness, I mean.

I mean, nobody destroys someone else's property because they're thinking clearly. It's born out of desperation.

i think assuming that carrie underwood the real human being is the "I" in this song is pretty faulty. it's a bit of a cinematic thing, no? i think calling her a bitch is losing the plot.

that said, i think she pulls off the cathartic inention of the song pretty well. i don't think anger is the intended feeling.

anger would imply that the protagonist cares too much. i would argue that she's at the point past anger where you honestly don't (or convince yourself that you honestly don't) care. i think she's trying to imply celebration— over her conquering feelings, not celebration re: trashing dudes car— rather than anger, and maybe that's where kenny is getting tripped up.

conquering her*

if I were a mod, these are the kind of threads I'd lock.

Oh yes, the ones with actual discussion.

But if the guy had a Toyota Tundra her vandalism would have been for naught. Pissed off girlfriend pushed it off a cliff and it was like brand new.

x-post to something (or not).

No, the ones that get locked into a stalemate between 2 or 3 stubborn posters for way too long. (xpost)

That would be the voodoo thread.

here's my take on this song: it fucking sucks

how can we lock this thread when "pipecock" hasn't weighed in???

"anger would imply that the protagonist cares too much. i would argue that she's at the point past anger where you honestly don't (or convince yourself that you honestly don't) care. i think she's trying to imply celebration— over her conquering feelings, not celebration re: trashing dudes car— rather than anger, and maybe that's where kenny is getting tripped up."

Thank you, I appreciate your much-better-worded articulation of my position. That's exactly what I mean, she's far too satisfied, rather than actually angry.

Also, yes, I do hear "disdain," but "disdain" is not a strong enough emotion to destroy someone else's car.

It is if you're pissed off, which is why any reading of this song that removes anger from the equation doesn't make sense.

<i>Just went downstairs to pick up my laundry and it was playing AGAIN. SOMEONE PLEASE BLOW UP THE EARTH AT ONCE!</i>

Says the guy lucky enough to live in a city where one can drop off their dirty drawers with the (downstairs) laundromat attendant to have someone else wash them and be out of the place quickly enough to hear maybe one verse of the song playing on the radio. Not bad I'd take that deal.

Continuing my thoughts, no one else has commented what I thought was my biggest point: Destroying someone's car is not a very good revenge at all. He cheats on you and you destroy his car, the score is You: 1, Him: 9,000. I don't see how anyone could think that's cathartic. This is a very dumb song about what it's like to be cheated on.

That's not the point. It doesn't matter whether she actually managed to even the score or not, what matters is she thinks she got even. She (or her character in the song) is to be the judge of that, not you.

arguing what is cathartic for someone is kind of pointless. you might say eating sushi is filling, i would argue it's not, but we're different people, etc.

Well, I personally am of the opinion that anyone who thinks that destroying a car adequately addresses the pain of being cheated on is a shallow person. However satisfied Carrie might be, I find that I can't share any of what she feels because there is much too much distance between us. I can't relate to that viewpoint at all, I don't know how who could. It's an idealization of revenge that doesn't correspond to any reality I know of. I have similar problems with "You Oughta Know," which also presented itself as a self-righteous revenge piece. Couldn't share in that either; Alanis didn't stick it to Coulier like she thinks, she just made herself look like a crazy person and annoyed an ex-boyfriend, so I have no understanding of what she's feeling so good about. I vastly prefer "What Goes Around..." where the punishment fits the crime, or "Irreplaceable" where Beyonce legitimately asserts her superiority to the jerk in question.

I think I see someone who's never dealt with a woman anyone who's been cheated on. Jealous revenge doesn't always make sense, nor does it have to.

Well, I personally am of the opinion that anyone who thinks that destroying a car adequately addresses the pain of being cheated on is a shallow person. However satisfied Carrie might be, I find that I can't share any of what she feels because there is much too much distance between us. I can't relate to that viewpoint at all

Don't like gangster movies either?

I vastly prefer "What Goes Around..." where the punishment fits the crime, or "Irreplaceable" where Beyonce legitimately asserts her superiority to the jerk in question.

This is just stupid. All that Beyonce asserts in "Irreplaceable" is that she was dumb enough to blow a ton of money on a himbo and that she's completely willing to do it again.

"You Oughta Know" works precisely because it's a bitter, ranty, self-involved piece that makes her look crazy and, most importantly, the venom in the delivery completely supports the histrionic ranting of the lyrics. "Irreplaceable" is Beyonce singing just like Beyonce always sings, only with even dumber-than-usual lyrics and "Before He Cheats" is Carrie singing the way Carrie always sings, only with more bathroom Polo and repetitive car abuse.

Says the guy lucky enough to live in a city where one can drop off their dirty drawers with the (downstairs) laundromat attendant to have someone else wash them and be out of the place quickly enough to hear maybe one verse of the song playing on the radio. Not bad I'd take that dea

(A) Fuck yourself, you fatuous slab of dung.

(B) There is no "laundromat atendant," dick, it's a laundry room - wherein one does one's own laundry.

"I think I see someone who's never dealt with a woman, or anyone who's been cheated on. Jealous revenge doesn't always make sense, nor does it have to."

You are quite incredibly wrong there, and screw you too. The person who wrote this song is the one who's never dealt with someone who's been cheated on. This is a simplistic fantasy version of what being cheated on is like. Jealous revenge doesn't have to make sense in the moment, but it sure as hell doesn't satisfy afterwards, and "Before He Cheats" apparently takes place after the fact.

Who cares if it "satisfies"? This song is meant to be a heat of the moment thing, not a sober reflection five months on. But I'm not going to waste my energy arguing with an overly defensive douchebag about a song I don't even like.

Girls, girls: you're both pretty.

The reason that "Before He Cheats" doesn't work is because the only thing she can think of in order to get revenge is to fuck up his car and she keeps yammering on about it. If the first half of every chorus had different lyrics, either chronicling different revenges or spreading out the car-trashing across all of the choruses, it wouldn't feel so mind-numbingly repetitive and stupid.

I thought you guys were bonkers for overanalyzing and arguing over this song 3 hours ago, but I think it's finally starting to become more funny than it is sad. Please keep this going until 5pm EST on Friday, thanks.

Which deadline should coincide with the closing of a Best Poster On This Thread poll.

Also, fuck "Tom Goes to the Mayor." God, I hate that show.

clearly, alex in baltimore, you've never been cheated on and have never done your own laundry. fuck you.

Also, fuck "Tom Goes to the Mayor." God, I hate that show.

-- My name is Kenny, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 2:26 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

finally you're talking some sense.

It's an idealization of revenge

DING! DING! DING! We have a winner!

I thought you guys were bonkers for overanalyzing and arguing over this song 3 hours ago, but I think it's finally starting to become more funny than it is sad. Please keep this going until 5pm EST on Friday, thanks.

-- Alex in Baltimore, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 11:22 AM (Wednesday, November 14, 2007 11:22 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------

why is it tedious to argue about whether or not a song is good?

-- Jordan Sargent, Sunday, August 5, 2007 12:04 PM (Sunday, August 5, 2007 12:04 PM) Bookmark Link

i dunno, al only makes posts about dismemberment plan and other dudes posting styles now

-- and what, Sunday, August 5, 2007 12:06 PM (Sunday, August 5, 2007 12:06 PM) Bookmark Link

i can (and often do) have nitpicky arguments about the quality of a song or songs on here all damn day, but i'd like to think that i usually know to back off once it turns into dudes yelling RONG at each other (literally or figuratively) long after they've all established their respective positions on the matter.

and actually pointing out how stupid the debate's gotten seems like fair game to me, since this is the only other option and i don't know how it applies here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLDbGqJ2KYk

GUISE LISTEN TO DAN HE IS OTM SRSLY DOES NO ONE ELSE GET THIS?

hi i'd just like to mention that RINGLES have been postponed until at least next year i built the display for them at work but then they told me to throw it out and "before he cheats" is a really good song thank you

Sad day, dr. phil.

Al, I think you're under the mistaken impression that anyone (okay, anyone other than Alex in NYC) is actually getting heated over this. I know feigned indifference is your whole thing, but it turns you into a fucking bore.

SORRY. I'LL POST IN CAPS NOW AND THEN TO FEIGN PASSION AND HOPEFULLY BETTER ENTERTAIN YOU.

anyway don't get all butthurt, i was perplexed first by kenny's crazy extremist "fuck this song and everyone who enjoys it" stance and second by all y'all feeding the troll. i should've left it alone after Jordan hardsonned me about not doing laundry.

Am I the only one who thinks the verses sound like "Wonderwall"?

not sure Dan is OTM about spreading the wanton pickup damage across multiple verses.

The story - and what makes the song enjoyable - is her fantasy of what the asshole whose car she's fucking up is doing at this moment. Maybe this is because I worked in loltrashybars, but that story is well-told (and sung) and entertaining. Varying the chorus would weaken that.

Maybe! I'm trying to imagine it right now and it's not working. I guess Carrie's "right now" on line 1 and Liam's "by now" on line 2 kinda sorta line up, but other than that I don't hear anything. (xpost)

er i guess the "right now" is in just about every line, but still.

Also, mad lols at dan thinking Alex is scrooge mcduck since he might have $20 to get someone else to do his laundry.

more like Alex in Duckburg, amirite

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEBODY GETS BUTTHURT!!!

(Don't worry, I'm not.)

I now have the image of Alex in NYC swimming through his vault and ranting about Destiny's Child.

it was great reading that post and trying to guess what type of imagery and how many bolded capital letters would be contained in the alex in nyc retort.

"(A) Fuck yourself, you fatuous slab of dung," was a pretty fantastic response.

"slab of dung"

http://www.uoregon.edu/~gregr/2_12.jpg

http://mtglair.de/img/python/French_Taunter.jpg

Wait, we all prefer "Never Again," right?

Compare/Contrast Sims Videos: Never Again, Before He Cheats

I hold them about equally.

Not scrooge mcduck, just way out of whack for wishing ill on the entire planet for the five seconds he has to endure a pop song.

this is alex in nyc we're talking about.

ugh it's playing at my work 'right now'

the good things about this song, like the concrete imagery and a decent bridge, are rendered evil because they exist in the context of just another inane, pandering slab of nu country awfulness apparently directed at an audience so stupid you wonder how they manage to bathe themselves.

This pecking-party of a thread gets funnier with each reply

dr. phil!

can you email me by clicking on my username? i have a question for you.

i only just heard this song a few minutes ago, i watched the video.

man. i don't know. c. underwood doesn't seem like she can really carry this kind of thing off very well. whereas like a gretchen wilson seemed like the type of chick that would real-deal slash yr fuckin' tires in the parking lot of a sports bar....underwood just seems like her manager said "oh let's go "edgy""....kelly clarkson did the wounded/angry thing on since u been gone pretty well, but yeah this seems like playing dress up.

(not that would it would matter if the song was really great, but it's not)

M@tt on point

her actions in the video wouldn't make me think before i was unfaithful. i would call a lawyer. i don't like this song.

: (

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c8/Nellygood.jpg

what a song

your problem is that you have gone through the time tunnel and are living in May 2007, just find the vortex again and your problem will be solved

(actually no the deal is, and this is a little weird: they're rereleasing the song this month as part of some desperate maybe-we-can-sell-records-this-way effort - the song, plus a b-side or two, and a ringtone of the song delivered directly to your sell. They have even come up with a name for this new product that combines the selling of music on a physical format & the transmission of music as data to your phone. You have to wait for the name of the product because it is just too awesome.)

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:13 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

See it's like a single but it has a ringtone so it's a

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:16 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

I can't say it

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:16 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

It's then a ringle?

-- Alex in NYC, Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:17 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

(I do like this song though, think it's a clever little top 40 jam with some nice changes & and good placement of detail ("that bathroom Polo") but I have some typical-of-me issues with the chorus ("slashed a hole in all four tires?" no, you didn't; you either slashed all four tires, or you punched a hole in each one of the them, but you didn't "slash a hole" in anything, friend) - the verses though, they're good, and the bridge isn't bad either)

xpost YES ALEX IT IS A RINGLE A RINGLE OH MY SWEET LOVING JESUS PEOPLE LET US WELCOME THE AGE OF THE RINGLE

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:19 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

wax cylinder
78
45
LP
8-track
cassette
DAT
CD
HDCD
Ringle

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:20 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

I just bought a minidisc player. Don't forget that.

-- bendy, Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:30 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

you better throw that shit away! Ringles are what's next!!

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:33 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

if Pringles fails to to do a cross-promotion with this I'm going on a hunger strike

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:35 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

never forget

^^Alex & John were solid gold kinking off the thread.

I was always disappointed that there wasn't "My Ex Was A Crazy Bitch" answer song to this one. Country Music failed us.

For the town in the United States, see Ringle, Wisconsin.

this thread always delivers

lol 'ringtones'

Just heard this song for the first time, DJP OTM

I love this song now except for the "can't shoot whiskey" line, performative drinking is v. boring and rockist but I dig this tune and the performance

except for "slashed a hole in all four tires"' which will always grate

I keep thinking "that's a huge hole"

DJP i am curious about the story upthread about the football team murder attempt

It's really jjj's story, he was on the team at the time and witnessed the whole sad event

Before the Pleats

Ringle

Singtone

I've never heard a Hoobastank song. I don't listen to the radio or watch the television so where would I have heard it?

I love the argument that slashing his truck's tires is a gross overreaction and the wrong way to deal with this kind of a situation.

as long as you have bail money

This is the definitive rendition of the song in my view

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Pr_E8Tz7RE

went full on 80s pop for her new single, really lives up to the title "denim & rhinestones"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYJVEYbwR4o

during the inauguration today, they introduced carrie underwood to sing "america the beautiful" with the marine choir. the camera zoomed in on her as she waited for the song to begin. but then there was a technical delay and they all stood there for about 3, 4 minutes. long enough to where they all waited for a really long time, then someone began to look at another, then more time passed, then a guy finally said something to another person. more time passed. they started showing trump and it kind of felt like when you're afraid hitler is getting angry. i thought about "the sound guy" who would be crucified. more time passed and then it kind of became an open joke and everyone was smiling and laughing at the delay. except for trump. then carrie underwood said "sing if you know the words", and she sang acapella with the sounds of the inauguration attendees joining. it became a kind of showcase of who both knew the words and/or wanted to be seen singing "america the beautiful". what a moment

Fuck her.

I've never heard a Hoobastank song. I don't listen to the radio or watch the television so where would I have heard it?

― Halfway there but for you

also gotta revive this from a few years ago - halfway you haven't lived until you've heard the stank

That's my burden for replying to a post from 2007

did you...i mean...what happened when you did encounter the stank? there's no going back

2007 was the 1990s of the 21st century so far