help me with my social skills

how do I become an interesting person with social skills on a higher than third grade level?

What are your other skills? Can you wiggle your ears? Juggle? Pop out your glass eye and polish it on your sleeve? Do you own a puppy? Can you borrow one? Would it howl unconsoably in your custody? Can you finish other people's?

Whaddaya talkin about, your social skills were totally fine when I met you!

you could hang out with other 3rd graders working on your moves until you level up!

btw, third grade social skills can be pretty solid. Unless you still hit people with your lunch bag, grab their backpacks/hats, or think farts are hilarious.

xxpost I think I have regressed since then. Or just been forced to find new friends, which is not necessarily an easy task for anyone obv.

your social skills have regressed since 3rd grade?

xpost not an easy task at all, that's for fucking sure. Especially when you acquire a close set of friends that appreciate whatever your sense of humor is, or taste in art/music/whatever, and then you move to a new town and try to meet new people and suddenly no one's laughing at you anymore. Or no one even realizes you're trying to tell a joke.

I think ken c was the perfect social lubricant for that weekend.

"social"

j/k (i hope)

speaking of lubricant, i need to figure out a mature adult way of communicating interest to guys without desperately throwing myself at them ...

buy them some lubricant

should i just hit them with my lunch bag and give them notes that say "Do you want to make out? Circle yes or no" ?

xpost not an easy task at all, that's for fucking sure. Especially when you acquire a close set of friends that appreciate whatever your sense of humor is, or taste in art/music/whatever, and then you move to a new town and try to meet new people and suddenly no one's laughing at you anymore. Or no one even realizes you're trying to tell a joke.

― fuck it, we're going to Olive Garden® (Z S), Sunday, June 13, 2010 10:19 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

man this is a sad truth bomb

cheer up; if your social skills deviate so appreciably from the norm, people probably *do* at least find it interesting

Are there people that you want to be your friends/social group that you don't know how to approach or get closer to ... or is this just in general?

xpost worst-case scenario you are a "lovable weirdo" to these people, which is not a bad thing/can lead to genuine friendships

i've coasted by on that for years!

lol

"coasted"

the awkwardness and suffering will never end

only a god can save us now

or no less than 3 demi-gods

SOCIAL SKILLS, Y'ALL!

Are there people that you want to be your friends/social group that you don't know how to approach or get closer to ... or is this just in general?

in general I have never had a large circle of friends. I never really hung out with anybody outside of school until I got a girlfriend in 11th grade. The summer before college I met someone through facebook who was very outgoing and a lot of people he befriended became my friends. But they've all since graduated & I'm still here. I am also terrible at starting conversations. I can be ok at maintaining them once they've started, but not always.

threads are kinda like conversations - well, not always - i mean, you can't really start a conversation with an animated gif, but - really, it isn't that hard, and the worst that can happen is someone thinks you're weird or isn't paying attention and doesn't respond.

It's difficult to have a benchmark for what constitutes good social skills.

Those that are particularly proud of having good social skills (some tossers at work have actually put 'good social skills' on their CV/resume - ffs) often don't have them and come across as insincere or wooden. Or they undermine any social skills they may have through general attitude of being willing to do anything for advancement or being uber-competitive. I don't want to hang out with you if I think you'd sell your grandmother to get ahead.

what if they'd sell their grandmother to get head?

(sorry, drunksP)

is the grandmother the one giving head?

headless grandmother iirc

the advice for this is so obvious that if you are ignoring it you probably are like me!

take up some hobbies, start cooking, clean your house, exercise, read as much as possible, listen to music you never listened to before and watch films as often as you can, try and enjoy your work or if you can't make sure you enjoy your free time. you have social skills, you just need to find ways to exercise them and places to feel comfortable.

I agree and will raise you: smile at people and make time for small-talk with strangers.

I'm not talking about hott strangers whose fun & exciting social group you want to break into, I'm talking about random old ladies in queues or waiting for the bus. It feels risky at first but it's worth it; you get to practice being outgoing in situations where failure has no consequences.

Lots of people are shy and withdrawn, and will be grateful for someone else making the effort. Some people will brush you off, but those people are tossers (or even shyer than you) and not to be worried about.

(Speaking as one who is cripplingly shy by nature)

It occurs belatedly that nobody has mentioned being shy, but hell, if you don't feel inhibited by yr perceived lack of social skills they *probably* aren't going to stop you making friends. Try not to throw up on anyones shoes.