The worst football match you've ever seen?

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As it stands, England vs Nigeria in the 2002 world cup. But if this Aston Villa - Southampton game on the box tonight doesn't get any better, we may have a new champion.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Leyton Orient vs Bristol Rovers last season was dismal. Orient were rubbish, but they still beat us 3-0. Unspeakably rubbish. The worst standard of football I've sat through for a whole game without being friends with a participant.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:13 (twenty-three years ago)

All of them.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:13 (twenty-three years ago)

The 1990 World Cup final. The 1991 European Cup final. The 1994 World Cup final.

Oh, and Gordon Durie's debut match for Rangers against Thistle was pretty fucking abysmal.

― Ally C (Ally C), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:17 (twenty-three years ago)

spain vs south korea. it wuz rigged i tell ya!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Everton V Crystal Palace about 7 years ago or so? Fucking dreadful.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Eagles vs. 49ers, it was soo boring.

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm with rosemary.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:54 (twenty-three years ago)

QPR 2 - Spurs 0

Bobby Mimms let the ball in through his legs.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 October 2002 20:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Celtic 3 Rangers 3.

Thom scores from 25 yards, discrepancy betw. the Actual Score and what the scoreboard said leading to confusion (the ref had to make it sure that Rangers did[n't?] have a goal it said they did), Goram makes the best save ever from Hooijdonk from 3 yards, Collins scores a free kick, David Robertson (a hate figurre) scores, madness all around...

― david h (david h), Monday, 21 October 2002 20:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Sunday, 19^th November, 1995.

― david h (david h), Monday, 21 October 2002 20:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Northampton Town vs Bournemouth, some point in the 94/95 season. The Cobblers had just moved into their new ground, so the atmosphere was shit (people were actually clapping rather than cheering). Plus, as I was a mere nipper, I was in the sodding family stand. The match was a tedious as shite one all draw, both scrappy goals, no excitement, no bookings, no atmosphere... nowt.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 21 October 2002 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Arsenal vs Torino in the Cup Winners Cup in 1993-94. Both legs of it - fucking diabolical, with only one goal from Donkey Adams to even come close to redeeming it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 21 October 2002 23:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Almost any game from World Cup Italy.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 00:29 (twenty-three years ago)

According to ESPN (and judging by the highlights on Sportcenter I would agree) the Arizona Cardinals/Dallas Cowboys game from this Sunday was the WORST GAME EVER PLAYED!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 03:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Atalanta 1 - 0 Udine

It was very cold, very foggy and very uncomfortable. It would have ended 0-0 but for an own goal. It wasn't even a comedy own goal.

― Madchen, Tuesday, 22 October 2002 08:49 (twenty-three years ago)

whenever everton are on tv

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 08:51 (twenty-three years ago)

It was at Wigan, the year when we were destined to finish bottom and it looked for all the world as though the club was going out of existence.

We lost 3-1, although I don't remember anything about the game. What sticks in my mind is sitting glumly on the open terrace there at half time discussing which clubs we'd support when ours went under.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 09:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Scotland getting thrashed at hampden 2-0 by Australia in a friendly.

Thank god the ticket was only £7! The Aussies couldn't believe it.

― Vicky (Vicky), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 09:35 (twenty-three years ago)

QPR versus Wimbledon, (old) Division 1, 1988 or so. The first time I'd been to a stadium outside Plough Lane, I somehow got involved in my brother's school's day out to the match. It was of the lowest quality, QPR won 1-0, and I got in a fight with one of my brother's friends.

On the plus side, I now own a miniature beer mug with "QPR - first division" on it!

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Chelsea v Portsmouth, 87-88 season. A shocking 0-0 draw with the likes of Noel Blake, Kenny Swain and Clive Whitehead (Pompey) slugging it out with our own superstars Colin Pates, Darren Wood and Keith Dublin.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 11:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Chesterfielkd vs Peterborough on a boxing day about 6 years ago, an awful games, two teams with hangovers punting the ball from one end to another without bothering to look where it was being passed. It rained, I had an awful hangover and can't even remember the score, though I think it was 0-0.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 11:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Huddersfield Town 0 Chelsea 3 1987-ish

Less to do with the football than the events off the pitch. Paul Cannonville scored a hat-trick with thousands of racist idiots around me making monkey noises. A contingent of Leeds hooligans started winding up the home crowd, hate and violence was in the air.

The police, in their wisdom, then let the huge Chelsea contingent out first cutting off Leeds Road. I took a side road, where a Chelsea fan, going to his car wearing colours, was kicked to death. I didn't witness it but have long thought about what I would have done if I had. After this I lost interest in football for a while and started watching Rugby League.

― stevo (stevo), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 11:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Paul Canoville was a super player. Chelsea's first black player I think, which can't have been easy. Scored a superb hat-trick in the League cup v Sheff Wed in 1984 after we'd gone 3 down. Injuries finished him in the prof game at around 24/25, and he was last heard of playing for amateur league stuff in Bucks/Berks area.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks Dr.C I wondered what had happened to him.

― stevo (stevo), Wednesday, 23 October 2002 00:28 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

poland 0 ireland 0

was there a single *chance* for either side in the whole game? half chances, maybe. low quality of football, horrible pitch, crowd blowing irritating horns throughout, no duff, no keanes, no goals. unpleasant viewing.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 29 April 2004 09:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Sparta Prague v Petra Drnovice, Dec 1993. It was around minus 12 and there is no way the game should have gone ahead. Still, autumn fixtures must be completed before Christmas and time was running out, so they slipped and slid through a goalless draw. At least it was goalless at half time, when I decided that a coal fire and Czech draft beer was a preferable option to freezing my whotsits off. The only time I've ever left a match before the end.
Epilogue: I know someone who claims to have been at that game til the bitter end and he says it finished nil-nil.

― Daniel (dancity), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

There was the notorious Germany-Austria match in the World Cup Finals group stage, where the loser would finish behind Algeria, so they played out the most sterile draw imaginable. Similarly, in the last weeks of a Serie A season a few years back Milan were at home, needing only a point for the scudetto, against a team in relegation danger who would be very grateful for a point. Nothing happened at all until well into the second half when Albertini, I think it was, whacked a hopeful shot from about 40 yards out, and it flew into the top corner. From the kick-off, the other team ALL charged forward en masse and Milan didn't defend, and they scored in seconds. Then back to nothing for the rest of the game. An even more blatant fix than the first example.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 29 April 2004 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

There was the notorious Germany-Austria match in the World Cup Finals group stage, where the loser would finish behind Algeria, so they played out the most sterile draw imaginable.

It's funny how many people remember this as a draw, but it was actually a 1-0 German win (Hrubesch header after 10min), but, yes, it was a disgrace - thereafter FIFA insisted final-phase group matches were played simultaneously.

Poor Algeria - they took their foot off the gas the previous night after leading Chile 3-0 at half-time (they eventually won 3-2). A three-goal win would've made a mutually beneficial fix in the Aut-Ger match impossible to engineer.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 29 April 2004 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, sorry Mike - nonetheless a convenient result that everyone playing seemed very satisfied with for a long time.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 29 April 2004 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Spurs vs West Ham 1986 ish. I was in the home end adjacent to the away supporters as I went with two Spurs supporters. They beat us 5-0, it was freezing and the West Ham fans started chucking coins at us. My own fans!

Being Spurs supporters, they were actually pocketing the two pences.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Friday, 30 April 2004 08:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Talking of suspiciously convenient results - remember the Euro84 qualifiers, when Spain needed to beat Malta by an 11-goal margin to qualify ahead of the Dutch? It was 1-1 after 25min, only 3-1 at half-time, but somehow Rincon, Maceda, Santillana, Sarabia and Senor conjured nine goals between them in less than 40 minutes to send them through. Spain had only beaten Malta 3-2 away six months earlier.

We were thus denied Gullit v Platini the following summer.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 30 April 2004 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Argentina 6 Peru 0 is another convenient / dodgy result. Rumours of millions of dollars worth of grain being transported to Lima in the aftermath.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Friday, 30 April 2004 08:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Ayr united vs. Greenock Morton at Somerset Parin in Ayr "the ways deep and the weather sharp, the very dead of winter". It was freezing cold, the electricity failed so people were eating cold pies at half time. nothing happened. one nil. rubbish.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Friday, 30 April 2004 08:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I went to watch Billericay with my dad when a youngster. We went on a freezing day and left after ten minutes. Nil nil. Too cold.

Looked up the result in the paper next day. Nine nil.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Friday, 30 April 2004 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Once I went with a group of our fans to watch Bristol Rovers at their place ("Mmummorriow" as they seem to call it). We were having a bit of a party and someone had arranged a bus to take us to the ground. Our bus was chased by knuckle-dragging gasheads who proceeded to menace us all the way (almost catching the bus several times). When we made it to the ground, our tormentors proceeded to fight their own stewards. The upshot of all this was that the Bristolian fighters were let into the ground, and those of us on the bus, all ticket holders, were escorted by the Police back to the railway station without having alighted from the bus or (as far as I could tell) having done anything wrong.

People who got into the 0-0 game told me that it was so excruciatingly boring that the Police did us lot a favour.

― Tim (Tim), Friday, 30 April 2004 09:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The first half of Charlton - Birmingham game that the PF and I attended recently was laughably bad. You would have seen more skill watching the nippers in Greenwich Park. But then they brought Paulo on.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Friday, 30 April 2004 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Do the Charlton fans sing the Rigoletto tune to his name? Great as he is, I don't think he's scored from open play this season

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember an Everton Crystal Palace game, must be ten years ago now or more. Awful, AWFUL stuff. Both sides just walloping the ball up the pitch only to be caught out by the offside trap. I think it was 0-0

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I promise I was not among those Gasheads, Tim.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 30 April 2004 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

You already mentioned that game on this thread, Ronan! No need to rub it in!

I suspect it was a 1-0 win for Palace in Oct '94 - the fag end of the Mike Walker "era" when we only took 3 points from the first 11 games.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 30 April 2004 22:43 (twenty-two years ago)

July 1998 - Champions League Qualifier. Celtic v St Patrick's Athletic. A non-event of a goalless draw against the dullest and least skilful team imaginable ~~is what the St Pat's fans must have been thinking~~.

The Irish fans that travelled over kept going "shhh" at the Celtic fans or singing "What a shitey home support". It was dull, horrible, and outside of the Caley Thistle debacle (which can't count as it was only bad from one side's point of view) is the most unpleasant experience I've had at Celtic Park in over 15 years.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 1 May 2004 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

haha I wasn't specifically singling out Everton, it was just an awful game! And I didn't check above : )

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 1 May 2004 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

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