Is it ever right not to want to visit places that are special to you?

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is it the coward's option to choose not to risk being disappointed, or is it just a sensible way of avoiding the chance of feeling let down?

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Thursday, 31 October 2002 06:07 (twenty-three years ago)

depends on whether you want to retain the fantasy in your mind forever or see the real deal and breath it in, faults and failings and all.
i dont think its cowardly to not do it, just maybe something you may regret. the reality is always different, but that doesnt mean its going to disappoint. there are aspects to places that you would never think of, unless you see for yourself.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 31 October 2002 06:25 (twenty-three years ago)

not cowardly, but you should take the opportunity to visit as many as you can, because you're never going to manage them all (so some will stay imagined whether you like it or not)

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 31 October 2002 09:02 (twenty-three years ago)

at the moment, robin, it would kill me if i did it.

(and btw i am talking about cromer as well as oxford - the whole norfolk coast was v significant for laura and me)

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 31 October 2002 09:18 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

see my post to the Wye Valley thread: broadly I think it usually is cowardly not to visit places that are special to you, but obviously circumstances such as Marcello's are quite different - if I'd been through what he experienced with Laura, I'd feel the same way.

I also intend to visit Pinvin in Worcestershire (long story on that one) another place I'd had my doubts about visiting until I came to my senses.

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Monday, 18 November 2002 04:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I can;t bring myself to visit my old high school. it is special to me, and yet i was miserable there.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 18 November 2002 05:01 (twenty-three years ago)

(ditto for some of my schools, Aaron)

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Monday, 18 November 2002 05:46 (twenty-three years ago)

There are one or two places forever tainted by relationship split-ups or other people's bad times. There's something sacred about respecting that charge and not revisiting as some sort of tourist-of-one's-own trauma. Lullingstone-Shoreham. Shipton-under-Wychwood.

But I've also been scared of places for no reason, and while I've never regretted going to them in the end, I've put off doing so for some time. I used to think this was cowardice, but once you've got over it, it becomes bravery ... and I do think it's an emotion that is a sign that places matter. People who've just breezed in to similar places perhaps are having a less deep response.

― jon (jon), Monday, 18 November 2002 09:04 (twenty-three years ago)

this is dead right, Jon. absolutely bang on the money.

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Monday, 18 November 2002 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

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