what are you doing with the time and gifts given to you

its a finite existence, a privilege and a miracle

how are you spending it all, and how often do you think of it in these terms

this isnt a moping thread

if your predilection is to start listing all the time and gifts you havent got, im sure youve listed that on all the other threads

in case ye thought i was gone all cuddly just because of the topic

Skiing

Posting on a message board (oh no)

I try to think in these terms often. Best case it's practically helpful. Worst case it's psychologically helpful. very very worst case it's psychologically harmful, normally for just a minute or so

good answer xp

taking a worklife which, when i watch myself, takes up no more of my time and should take up no more of my energy and attention that is very acceptable, and provides well for me besides (a gift), and even at work, i am spending my time, attention and energy in less focused conversations and listening more in those all the time

i more and more these days try to spend the rest of my time in company that eases me or that i feel natural in, because my greatest joy is ease in good company

i am outside in all weathers more than i used to be and this is also good

linked: i spend more time than i ever have with an animal, this is very good for me both as a distraction from my own head and to observe and ponder the animal mode of being

i spend as much time as is wise chasing a football in company of other of like mind and ability, this is extremely good head space and vital for the rest of my week

i spend more time that i was playing and practicing songs and singing, this is very good

goals might be to spend (yes) less time on message board x and the phone generally and to genuinely break from linking any of my mood to a football club in london, but we are all on a journey to peace

'Its a finite existence, a privilege and a miracle'

It's one of those thoughts that feels like it should lead to some sort of realisation and therefore a different quality of life...but all too often results in a kind of paralysis, worry and inaction.

One of the problems is that the desire to 'make the most of life/ get everything sorted/live your best life' sounds simple but is beset with problems and frustrations, because it's inherently not under our control and it's imperfect and messy. Oliver Burkeman is very good on this.

i will take that as a fine recommendation and thank you, i recognise the pause and sometimes pressure the headspace brings

its a finite existence, a privilege and a miracle

when/if i think about this i mostly feel bad that what i want to do is play golf, watch golf, watch football, watch tv, sleep and read. preferably by myself. but this is the stuff that brings me happiness so i've decided to not care about the waste of privelege or miracle and dont have the imagination to contemplate the finiteness. should look into cutting my hours at work so i can enjoy more of nothing for real tho.

i have thought of ‘it’ (being ‘life’) in these terms for a while now, but whether i have actually been able to act appropriately upon this belief is another story.

in the past year, i quit most social media, went sober-ish, and started spending a lot more time working on myself, both body and mind.

i am happier and healthier than i have ever been, and i think the only thing missing is that i didn’t spend as much time with loved ones as i would have wanted,
mostly due to work.
i am trying to resolve that this year.

Such as they are? Squandering, gan dabht (ar bith, ar bith).
HOWEVER I’ve gone through times when getting up in the morning was an achievement. Trying to strive for some sort of personhood. Hope to achieve it some day.

Withdrawing more and more from life, as I get deeper and deeper into my yoga practice and study of this subject.

No time to waste.

Xppppp geez deems if you wanted to make this a brag thread there was much less wanky things to name it

I enjoyed a marvelous 2024 and hope to ride a similar groove: new friends, the occasional new lover, still getting a kick out of good books and films.

(Being outside and off-line + playing muisc very good and this is a good reminder of it yes yes) 👍🏻👍🏻

Also cosign Alfred (cept the one lovers good for me (to each their own, with love))

:)

spending a lot of money on beer, chicks, and music. The rest I just squander

I have more than a few amaro cocktails to mix in me.

no brag thread this is not about - i think- what you do or able to do "the gifts we are given is i think a humble presentation of the interface with existence)

for instance and this is not a chide thread nor a guide thread but for oscar bravo i appeal to ponder the community with the physical level of existence that striking a ball two hundred yards on a given visual line provides and the unknown aspects of where we materially and spiritually play a part into the rhythms of the universe that such efforts and acts invoke

towards peace and joy, friends, peace and joy

gyac a stór any step in any direction that seems a good step is a step mhaith in this house

Sorry immature sarcasm on my part. I enjoy your positive posting

If i were to make a thread it would be what you want to do less with your finite time on this earth and point 1. Worthless sarcasm

Every day I get nowadays is one I was not expected to see, 10 months ago, so yeah each is a gift.

In my musical life I feel like I myself am doing fine, so I am turning my attention to other people, and helping _them_ do their thing. Like pulling people up on stage to play with me, playing on people's recordings, arranging and hosting jams, that sort of thing.

xp níl aon cúlú inár gcairdeas ❤️

That was at mar dhea mac, of course

Awh i was just gonna blow a kiss

kúlúsezshi

Currently in the Dolomites and loving every second of the privilege of being here. What an amazing corner of the world, both naturally and culturally

oh what a lovely thread!

i'm excited but a little anxious to be getting the entry-level qualification needed to start working at a gym as a personal trainer. the logistics make me nervous but the main thing is i feel drawn to it. i've been into fitness and body culture since my teens and i can't do without my regular exercise practice so it feels like a natural fit, as natural as fits get. to feel more satisfied by work is a goal i had given up on. just to have a direction and to be taking little steps in it is bracing.

other than that i visit god (meditate) in the morning and evening and love two very special men. our sweet and surly orange tabby spends time next to me on the couch on wfh days. the only thing that is a waste in my life rn is the full time job, i strongly dislike it but i strive to maintain some level of equilibrium with it as it keeps the bills paid. this does not keep me from indirectly calling my manager's ideas idiotic from time to time, which she is usually too idiotic to pick up on.

darraghmac i'm happy to read that you spend more time outside! at this point for me it's as much of a requirement as getting a good night's sleep. if i go more than two days without some outside time i suffer. and i need "special" outdoors time every month or so. wilderness time. every time i take a trip to my beloved colorado plateau deserts i wonder why i shouldn't be there more often.

finally buying some expensive records I have wanted for decades, and luxuriating in how good they sound on my stereo

going out to eat insanely great foodie food as often as we can, our town is good for this

doing four (four!) different methods/angles of therapy/recovery simultaneously

starting to sell some shit off, just got rid of a bunch of books I will never re-read, got $100

giving love to the dog, walking with her and seeing how the landscape changes through the seasons

giving love to animals could be all we ever need to do

map i was hoping youd be a contributor, ive enjoyed all of the posts ive seen from you recently on this kind of thing and i always think of you as a seeking/connecting type of person which...i mean is kind of where i think the thread idea is, in terms of situating the question (its a big question adn we all ask it differently at different times)

it's video games and friends in the pub mostly i guess but freely chosen and that's fine

whatcha playing these days NV?

This thread has a nice glow about it.

I had to take some steps backward in 2024 and I'm unsatisfied and in the middle of a change phase...who knows what the outcome will be? I think there's hard work ahead and I'm trying to make myself face it and dig in. I also would like to have more loved ones and more time at ease with chosen company than I have now; we're all too "busy" and tired (me included). I spend WAY less time outside, that's something I gave up along with proximity to nature and my garden. It was necessary but there's a garden-shaped hole in my heart now. I need that back and have to figure out how to re-run my life to get it.

I got a working bike a while back and it's a pleasure to ride even in bad weather, which I'll do later today to get to a food distribution where I help give out rescued food to people. It's not perfect but it's worthy work, I think. I also do a version of this for my job, so while I "do not dream of labor," I also don't regret how I spend my days. I'm responsible for a younger person whose growth I hope I've contributed to in the last two years; she's moving on now and I'll have to find a new charge. I'm excited to meet them and grateful to give them a healthy work environment where their leadership is nurtured, something I never had.

This thread also made me order some books I've been meaning to read, I have a non-fic TBR list for 2025 that I hope will be part of my growth in this season.

To answer the thread question: not enough. I'm working on that but still troubled by it.

xpp ashamed to admit i'm playing Persona 3 Reload at the moment cos i haven't sunk enough hours into P3 already

As many here know, two years ago my wife and I moved from urban New Jersey to rural Montana, so now I spend a lot of my time looking out the window at the mountains, or walking by the lakeshore when the weather's warmer. Honestly, that has brought me so much baseline pleasure that I feel like it's shifted my whole existence into a different gear.

My day job (and the other stuff I do) generates enough money that I can afford to put other people's art out into the world. I'm gonna be releasing four albums on my label this year, the first time since 2021 I've been able to do that. (We did two a year in 2022-24.)

I write a lot. It doesn't seem like a lot until I tally it up at the end of each year, but I write a lot. 12 monthly columns, 50-100 newsletters, 2-3 standalone record reviews every month, the occasional feature-length article, a book when I have a book-sized idea... I hope that all those things bring some people pleasure and get them to listen to music they might not otherwise have heard.

In response to the second half of the opening post, "how often do you think of it in these terms" ... fairly often, honestly. I'm 53 and diabetic. I am not "middle-aged" — I am likely in the final third of my life. I have no kids, so when my wife and I go, that's the end of the story. And the only idea worse than her dying first is me dying first. So yeah, I do think about trying to make every day pleasurable in some way. Eat something really nice. Look out the window at the mountains. Take a really deep breath of extremely cold air (it's 10 degrees outside today). Read something that makes me feel good (as opposed to, say, a New York Times interview with a right-wing crank who talks like his breath stinks). It is a finite lifespan, and you don't know how finite.

map i was hoping youd be a contributor, ive enjoyed all of the posts ive seen from you recently on this kind of thing and i always think of you as a seeking/connecting type of person which...i mean is kind of where i think the thread idea is, in terms of situating the question (its a big question adn we all ask it differently at different times)

― tuah dé danann (darraghmac), Saturday, January 18, 2025 4:22 PM (fifty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

:) :) much love to you!

io i'm wowed by how you're still your beautiful self in such a challenging place. may the things you need come your way!

Bless you, map. I seem to be stubbornly myself, for better and for worse. Your experiences inspire me too!

I definitely have a sense that my time is finite, something that seemed inconceivable not that long ago. I think because my goals have gotten larger in scope--I want to grow things that take YEARS and that means I have to get started, I've wasted so much time already. I want to be someone who has done things, has been doing things for a long time, long enough to build habits and structures and bring about change, and I might not have a long time left to put in when I think in, like, decades.

it has been a long long long long long process but i finally enjoy writing again, and am doing a lot of it in my free time, for probably the first time since college. nearly two decades of feeling hatred and resentment for my work, pretty much evaporated! i think i had to transition and be happy with myself to get there. but i know that when i engage in the practice these days i feel endeared to my own voice, and am willing to let her become what she longs to be, which sometimes i don't even know about before it happens, and it makes me feel so delirious and delighted

i am also spending a lot of time being in love. it has changed everything around me and is changing everything within me. i feel the need to put it in everything i do

i'm also learning how to dj, it's hard but feels connected to everything else i do (storytelling, drumming)

love reading this thread btw y'all

i sort of resent my 9-5 sometimes but not nearly as much as when i was going into the office every day. and there are things happening around/within work (for one, i'm co-leading the queer employee resource group there, which is actually completely fucking awesome) that i feel really fortunate to have in my life

i am also spending a lot of time being in love. it has changed everything around me and is changing everything within me. i feel the need to put it in everything i do

<3

i guess i didn’t get into the “gifts” part in my post, far above, but really, I am trying to climb gracefully and powerfully while being gentle with myself, and the gym just confirmed that i will be joining the setting team, so that means i will be spending a lot of time thinking and feeling through movement and the body in a way that has given me a new perspective on life.

onethread, sort of, but on the WAYR thread I have noted that I am reading a lot of YA fiction, and am beginning the process of writing my first YA book— which feels more exciting and interesting to me than poetry has for the past few years. i am very grateful that i have been able to find a way to move forward after feeling a little lost in my writing life for a while.

That "What did you achieve in 2024" thread made me realise I spend most of my life essentially running on the spot. But at the same time, my kids grow up and I keep putting off things til 'when we have the money' and 'when we have the time'.

Also, we got a Switch at Christmas and I haven't even played the damn thing, which is how I know I need to get back to the simple things, sometimes.

I'd like to thank deems for this thread, both a gift in itself (which I'll contribute to once the dishes are done and something is watched with Jen) and a gift to Thread Connections.

as noted almost immediately in that thread tbf

I finished a novel in November and the first revision four days ago and am quite happy.

christ i only *read* my first book of 2024 the week between Christmas and NYE so that's definitely an entry and a half

I got around to looking up American Express. I've always associated AmEx with Cary Grant. That's not a bad role model, so I finally decided to work out what the heck it's all about. Given that it's 2026 and a whole new year. Perhaps an AmEx card might help my credit score. When I go abroad people see me as a normal person, but when I pull out my American Express card I am John F Kennedy. I am Oscar Niemeyer. I am San Francisco International Airport. I am mid-century-modern man. Tool-assisted Quake speedruns are bewildering.

It's hard to think of AmEx without thinking of Pamela Stephenson from Not The Nine O'Clock News. Which pleases me. The punchline to that sketch - no-one remembers the punchline - is that AmEx is useless outside a narrow range of contexts, and I came to the conclusion that nothing much has changed since 1981. The classic card is a charge card that you have to clear by the end of the month, which is I suppose sensible if you buy a car every month from someone shady every month and you want a bit of protection, but it doesn't make sense for normal people.

They also do a pair of ordinary credit cards that have rewards! Except that the free card only gives you rewards if you spend over £3000 on it. And every transaction is rounded down, so e.g. £35.46 is £35. And £3000 worth of rewards is only worth £15. Alternatively there's a paid-for card with a fee of £25 that pays rewards without a price cap. But in order to cover the £25 fee you'd need to earn even more than £3000 worth of rewards. And that only breaks even.

So, it's a card that's only accepted in a minority of places, where you earn rewards but only if you spend several thousand pounds per year on it, and the reward is so small you could have the same effect by just going without a couple of Big Mac meals or one Amazon order over the course of a year. I just don't spend enough on a credit card to justify owning an American Express.

So I guess AmEx is missing out on the lucrative "poor person" market. They just want customers who spend lots and lots of money. Imaging building a business model that targets wealthy people! Imagine that.

the more you spend, the more you earn!

if you don’t sign up you’re basically throwing money in the trash and spitting on it

not an awful approach tbh

When I worked in customer services for credit cards, Amex was "the one where you have to pay a monthly fee and hardly anyone accepts it"

You gotta spin it to win it

When I worked retail, Amex was always the dominion of exceptionally wealthy customers. An Amex Black meant business— only handled a few of those, but one was from the founder and CEO of one of the largest telecom companies in China. He bought $1700 worth of skincare products. (I worked at Aesop, back when it was still a more exclusive brand and not owned by Lauder)

I get offers for a corporate Amex card for my tiny record label all the time. It never ceases to amaze me how once you have a little bit of money (and believe me, I have a little money, but a very good credit score) these fuckers will just keep offering to give you more and more like offering perks at a casino. I get emails from my bank telling me I could have a half million dollar home loan if I wanted one, too. The shit is mind-boggling. And on my bad days, when I reflect that we live in a totally lawless era where our mad king is a multiply bankrupt real estate scam artist, it can be tempting to play the game, to throw in and say, "Sure! You wanna gimme free money? Shovel it this way, just don't ever expect to get it back, ha ha!"

Ashley I refer you to the scene in Charade (1963) where Cary Grant goes to the Paris branch office of American Express. It was among my parents' favorite movies and as a child I could not figure out what American Express meant in that context. The assumption appeared to be that an American in Paris could use American Express as a sort of club where you get your mail and whatnot.

My understanding was further muddled because we also watched Casablanca a lot, and the plot of Casablanca (alert readers will remember) revolves around exit visas. As a result, Visa (the credit card) seemed somehow tied up with international travel diplomacy.

When I discovered that my parents had a Visa card. I wondered how they had managed to get one. Presumably from an embassy.

Discover is my shit

AMEX Blue Cash Preferred is nice! 6% back on groceries, up to 6k a year.

I've got a couple friends with AmEx cards who swear by its rewards system.

In November I qualified for the American Airlines Citibank card. A yearly fee, yeah, but I get priority seating, Admirals Club axis, and more miles to accumulate.

*access

I just spent some of my limited time on this earth this very evening from 5:30 to 7:30 PM eating the best sushi I have ever had in my life, and I put it on my AmEx card #onethread

After a bit of a slump, I am in Japan and eating a lot of Japanese food, which truly makes me feel like I’ve made good choices in life if it got me here. Gonna try to break my personal “best sushi I’ve had” record. I’m using a prepaid mastercard that doesn’t have the usual 2.5% fees for international credit card transactions. Ahead of this trip, I also upgraded my regular mastercard, for the travel insurance, but lounge access at the airport was nice. I don’t really know about credit cards, sometimes wonder who uses AmEx, since it seems like every other business I’ve been to doesn’t accept it.

Sounds a fun trip, enjoy it!

dream trip

rescuing a second dog and walking two dogs a lot

Enjoying the bountiful greenery of springtime in western Oregon. Grappling with making plans for aging, without the benefit of a responsible adult child to help ease the prospect. Hiking some favorite trails as they open up. Trying to ramp up my physical conditioning a bit in anticipation of the camping/wilderness trekking season. Reading books. Learning how to nap without guilt.

i’ve tried out for two more plays, didn’t get either one. it’s slowly coming back to me - know your type. find a good balance between characterisation and being yourself. i’m going to keep trying. and maybe look for some other modes of doing theatre that aren’t “try out for a show”.

Giving my cats belly rubs

Trying to keep garden plants alive

Drawing chickens

Drawing a skeleton playing a haunted bass clarinet

Ignoring the chaotic conservatory in desperate need of a clean and the remortgage application

Waiting for my brunch after an early morning ascent of the Acropolis.

not applying for promotions because current role is about right

making to do lists and getting to some of them

trying to figure out the extent to which ai can actually handle any of what i used to be able to google but which now one cannot google because ai

getting movies to play in 4K on my home setup (ai was a bit of help, about as much as if a golden retriever had read all the manuals)

xp nice

which acropolis tho

trying to figure out the extent to which ai can actually handle any of what i used to be able to google but which now one cannot google because ai

ugh fistbump

not applying for promotions because current role is about right

actually in answer to the question, I'm spending far too much time preparing to sell stuff on Vinted, all the while thinking perhaps it's not worth it in any way whatsoever but I've taken the photos now so may as well

and I've borrowed some litter pickers and am going down my road because I'm sick of walking past the same flattened Red Bull can and discarded silicon sealant bottle every day of my life. I did a community litter pick with the kids a few months ago and it is weirdly satisfying.

Went to the lake yesterday, watched dogs swim after balls.

Not their own, I presume.

i'm just trying to stay connected to now. the main gift i have. what's made me happiest lately is running in the mountains. i get to do more of that next weekend. in the meantime just in the thick of the city. today is one of those days that feels heavy. bum trips are part of the deal.

I've been struggling to answer this question lately - to figure out what I actually want to do in life, and actually makes me happy (not in a dopamine-fix way). It's hard to not feel like my future is just more of the same, but increasingly worse. There's not much I actually look forward to; other times I only see continued languishing, stagnation, and whatever the fuck will happen to the planet and Western society. One thing I'm trying to do at the moment is just imagine other futures, but also lean in to what is working. So on a cheerier note I am also...

Leaning into cycling (going on road rides, volunteering at bike co-ops, and considering joining a cycling club), checking out a buddhist meditation group that has bi-monthly IRL meetings, not deluding myself that I can outwit winter depression and planning to take significant time off next winter, travelling this summer, cutting down online media and phone time, cleaning my apartment, and other things.

your japan trip a few months back sounded incredible!

im still dragging the body around football pitches of an evening a few times a week, long after any actual ability, athleticism or reaction has abandoned me. but movement in contest is a gift and the society of the squad is a gift and I'm glad of the opportunity for both.

the morning woods walks with the dogs remain a very pleasant and ever more crucial start to the days when i work from home

when i do have to go into town, i can almost always meet a friend for a coffee and chat before work starts, which is also a great routine

#gifts etc

your world sounds nice darraghmac

ah the thread context, for my part, is to remind myself of what i do with what i can- so a bent towards the positive is hopefully achievable

when i do have to go into town, i can almost always meet a friend for a coffee and chat before work starts, which is also a great routine

About that, a stór

wow

early early morning and late evening woods walks to avoid heat

bbq and hosting and world cup evenings and living off leftovers well into tuesday evening most weeks

making progress with rescue collie after a few hard months to start with

catching up on paperwork

Exercising nearly every day now. Dusted off the novel, now at 36k words. Going in the sea every day if I can. Trying to pray and meditate daily.

strong update

it is. need some of that a hoy hoy energy over here tbh.

As long as you don’t need the long bouts of depression on the way there

Also giving up smoking six months ago has really helped

Put my notice in at my job, starting to facilitate writing workshops again in the fall. Most are full or nearly full. It’s scary to go back to teaching/facilitating full time, but I need to do it for myself— felt like the gym had taken over my life, and need some more distance from it before I can get close again.

Finishing up my final credits of library school this fall.

Writing poems again, planning some readings in various locations in the fall.

Starting a new press with my poetry husband.

Deleting social media apps from my phone after hitting the 15 minute mark each day— I unfortunately need to use them to promote events and creative work, but deleting them makes it easy to get to business, scroll a bit aimlessly for five minutes, then log out and not think about them for the rest of the day.

again, good update tabes ✊

I'm getting home from hospital in just over a week. Facing a six week period of intense ongoing rehab (physio and occupational therapies), a period during which I "have some work to do" but it's effectively part-time work-- I'll be able to get through it all spending three hours a day chipping away at it. In short, I'll be focused on my rehab, and taking care of myself-- and, upon consulting with my care team, it seems I'm going to be getting back into daily morning swimming to complement the next few months of recovery. There's a pool within hobbling distance of my apartment, lucky for me :)

keep the head up, at least to thr extent recommended by a physio

thinking of ya fgti

same!

Thanks all :’)