Madchen-don't take this the wrong way, but your name makes me think of Madchen Amick in her Twin Peaks waitress uniform. God, it's like I'm 13 again!
― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 6 December 2002 14:43 (twenty-three years ago)
Funny you say that, Nordic, because that's EXACTLY what I do look like. Just don't beat me with a bar of soap in a stocking, please.
― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 6 December 2002 14:56 (twenty-three years ago)
one year passes...
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue
the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I
hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That
is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner
gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher,
and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized
that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense
theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to
be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra
strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its
environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one
as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A
Division of Mars,Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with
a 3x5 card reading,"Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a
free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I
have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of
hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
― Does John Coltrane Dream of a Merry-go-round? (ex machina), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)