Squalor

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Last night I had to piss really bad, but the flatmate was occupying the bathroom forever so I pissed into a half-full Evian bottle which is tricky (secret is to just push it out as hard as possible or else you'll splatter everything), and I was stoned as usual so I imagined myself being on a catheter after coming back from Nam (tho I wasn't far gone enough to yell "PENIS, Mom! How d'ya like that, PENIS!"), but I could see I was about to fill the whole bottle so I had to quickly stop and look for something else to collect the rest, luckily there was a coffee mug with two inches of mold and cigarette butts in it so I just switched to that, all without a drop out of place! Then I was going to pour all the piss down the toilet but flatmate STILL doing hair or whatever in there so I just threw all of it out the window

― dave q, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 11:56 (twenty-three years ago)

There's even been a song written about my flat! Ever heard of "Heaven on the Seventh Floor"?

― dave q, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 11:57 (twenty-three years ago)

For da ladeez in da house I recommend a pint glass. Ahem.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 12:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or possibly a washing up bowl.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 12:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Remind me never to accept a cup of tea at your house, Arkle.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 12:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Or drink out of a pint glass at Madchen's or an Evian bottle at Dave's, presumably. I make very good tea as a matter of fact, untainted by urine or anything else (although I can't vouch for the stuff offered by the Gay Lard cafe.)

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 12:37 (twenty-three years ago)

coffee mug with two inches of mold
did the urine kill the mould? (the scientist in me rears his head)

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 13:22 (twenty-three years ago)

hehe. i had a friend that always kept an empty pringles tube in his car. apparently it works well. he was a a bit of a piss monster. he's not dead though, i'm just using the past tense for some other dumb reason.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 13:48 (twenty-three years ago)

One day at band practice, I came upon a still-full bottle of tea. So I asked my bandmates, whose tea? And they said, Oh, that's pee. See, there are no bathrooms out near our space (it's actually a storage space in a big complex) and the guys usually just go out by a tree to go to the bathroom but it was really cold out, so one of them just went in a bottle.
The next time we went out there, I saw about 10 bottles, all full in the floor. And sure enough, more pee. It was cold outside, they said.
I demanded that the bottles be cleaned out of the space. So they brought in lots of garbage bags and cleaned it all out and I never saw another one.
Then they took an old bass drum and put a garbage bag in it for future garbage. So if there are any more pee teas, they are now in the rockin' garbage can out of sight.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 13:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I worked on an ice cream van years ago and they kept a little plastic cup for peeing in. They kept it right next to the scoop for the ice cream!!! Needless to say I didn't last very long in that job.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 14:48 (twenty-three years ago)

when i was laid up flat on my back, i was forced to use a diet coke pintglass thingey for pissing, because i literally could not walk. when i was well, i put it well out of the way, so that no one would ever make the mistake of using it for a drinks glass again.

when i broke up with the bf and had to move out in a hurry, part of my revenge was to swap the diet coke glass he kept by the computer with my pissglass. it gives me some small comfort to know that every time he drank for the next week (probably more, he never did dishes) he was drinking a little bit of my piss.

― kate, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 15:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Does washing up liquid not remove all traces of piss, then? Even microban?

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

wonderful, all wonderful stories....

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Urine is sterile; it's really nothing to worry about.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:11 (twenty-three years ago)

no. piss is eternal. piss stains, and even the CONCEPT of piss stains.

pee tea, tee hee hee.

― kate, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:13 (twenty-three years ago)

not to be pedantic, but only your OWN urine is sterile. and only if it's fresh. piss goes off, like everything else, and it goes off at a much faster rate because it's already pre-decomposed.

― kate, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

if anyone says they shit in a glass because they couldn't find a toilet, they get the prize today.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

GG Allin to thread!

― webcrack (music=crack), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 18:01 (twenty-three years ago)

kate OTM about piss.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 December 2002 00:44 (twenty-three years ago)

When i was 14 my pa owned a house painting company during the summers. I used to go with him and learn how to paint and detail and the like. In one town we painted a huge victorian house with a fanboard above the door and a big wooden owl on top. (worthless details) The house very nice and expensive, and most of us were dirty, sweaty, and covered in paint, so the owners, being a little too posh for my tastes, decided we were not to use the bathroom in the house. Instead they gave us a large plastic soda cup with monkies on it as a communal pisspot for all 8 of us. Unfortunately, it wasn't always piss...

― B, Wednesday, 11 December 2002 01:37 (twenty-three years ago)

only your OWN urine is sterile

so then it's, like, not sterile?

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 11 December 2002 03:24 (twenty-three years ago)

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