help me come up with some lies

you met up, inside julian casablancas' asshole etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

tell them you met up when you all had to interview each other, then you realised being an interviewer was for muppets and you formed a band instead. that'll go down well.

how 'bout you met while working at The Vault

one day you all found yourself onstage together with no memory of how you had got there or who you had been before that.

no, that's too close to the truth. we DID meet our first keyboard player when she came to interview us, but we had to stop saying that cause everyone who interviewed us ended up wanting to join the band and christ, if you pursue that policy, you end up like belle and sebastian or something...

i think i'm going to make up something about meeting in reform school, and jane was sent there by mistake, and i was wandering around with a big blonde mohawk blowing up cars and shit. yeah, that's it.

oher ideas, please?

You are all exiled European royalty who have undergone painful plastic surgery.

now yer talkin! which one of us gets to be anastasia ... oh, wait a minute... d'oh!

'Simon Fuller decided that he wanted to break into the toilet-circuit indie band market and so he held auditions... "

You have been asked to be house band at the New Years Eve party of a Very Famous And Secretly Gay Premier League Footballer.

You all met when you were destitute, down and out and had finally go so far that you were selling your instruments. So there you were at the MVE in Notting Hill, you waiting for the guitar to be valued, then in came you bass player and the lazy slob behind the counter had knocked off for lunch. So there you and the bassist strike up a convo, then in comes the drummer - humping her entire kit behind her. You all have similar stories - poor - will play for food so in the end you steal a keyboard from the shop and leg it over to a nearby discarded sweet shop (all they had left was a tin of Chupa Chuips and hence the name, kicked out the window and played into the street until you got arrested. This solved accomodation for one night, and when you got out you got interviewed by the local paper (hence keyboard playa) and the notriety got you gigs and the rest, as they say is slightly fabricated history.

julian casablancas' ass, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, julian casablancas' ass, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, ass, blah, blah.

if you're going to use the plastic surgery lie you could say you were anyone before it

(the first example that sprang to mind wz the cast of the golden girls, but i'm not sure if i dare say that or kate will kill me!!)

(honest, it was "who is least like the lollies that they can claim to be after plastic surgery?")

(i am so dead)

Just put on some kind of loony show.

It's a front. By nights you all fight crime.

you met at the dentist. hence the name.

we are all secret crime-fighting indie powerpuff girls before plastic surgery, YEAH!!!

well, first interview down, and i didn't have to use ANY lies!!! journalists who do their research before interviews = MAJOR CLASSIC!!! Yay, Sheffield! that was actually really cool. except for the moment when he asked "so, uh, i hear you have a THING for shaggy off scooby doo" and i go WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?! and get all flustered.

good interview, got to mouth off about phil spector's current taste in music and shredding the concept of indie cred and "selling out" (fuck selling out, bring it on! i'm in vogue!) and talking about the secret links between josie and the pussycats and the breeders and not too much rambling about dirty dronerock boys. i hope. i only mentioned the strokes once, and the ASS didn't enter into the conversation at all. phew.

right, you've got an hour and a half to come up with MORE LIES for hte next interview and i've got to imbibe more caffeine.

How about something along the lines of 'at the Popstars auditions'? You could follow it with something about singing 'No Limits' and getting into a steaming argument with Pete Waterman about the validity of vacu-pop and getting thrown out of Crawley Leisure Centre for throwing a punch at Simon Cowell (which landed below the belt, naturally).

oh, ROCK!!! two interesting interviews in one day!

OK, it sucks that i didn't get to use any of the wonderful lies that you came up with here, but rest assured, i'll neeed them in future interviews...

man, that was fun. it wasn't like being interviewed, it was like a long, rambling thread mutation from ILM. we talked about bubblegum and prefab pop and chartpop and the music press and the music industry and warhol and nico and i even got to have a good little rant about the strokes (mitigating it by saying how attractive JC'sA is) and my god, it was just like being here, but on the phone, with a well-educated, informed and intelligent journalist. what a lovely fellow. I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

(and aparently, he's interviewed the strokes as well, and i'm more entertaining. mwah hah hah!)

Rah! Sounds like that rarest of days, the PR day where all went well. Treasure it. :-)

yeah, i know, cause it will never happen again.

and all over the phone, so i didn't have to even take a shower or get dressed...