Sideburns. Classic or Dud?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I know Ned hates them. So what about nicely trimmed ones?

http://www.badfads.com/images/sideburns.jpg

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I used to have them, but I got rid of them as soon as people started seeing me as "the guy with the sideburns".

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I mean, there's so much else to me. Can't you tell?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I've had them for 10 years, they are neatly trimmed though and only come down to the base of my ear. they are not bushy.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

THis is great.

http://www.glencampbellshow.com/fanpix/images/morgan7.jpg

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:45 (twenty-three years ago)

As a compulsive sideburns-wearer, I am forced to say classic. My face feels empty without them now. I hate bushy ones though.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:48 (twenty-three years ago)

dud, especially when they join up with a moustache. I saw a guy with this aberration last New Year in Northumberland. He looked ridiculous.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:53 (twenty-three years ago)

On the right person they are ok but not mutton chops!

― Genevieve, Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Classixor!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

duuud, except for that photo (but they go with the hair and the coat, which is why they're okay, anyone wearing that coat can get away with any facial hair they want)

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Daddino to thread!

I was complemented on my 'burns last week - no porkchops, just straight & narrow - but they're getting a bit busy; need to reign them puppies in. Woof.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 12 December 2002 15:58 (twenty-three years ago)

i love sideburns. oh man, i love them so much. thin, skinny well-groomed ones, a la 90210 all the way to thick, frizzy martin chuzzlewit lambchops, mmm, i love them all. sideburns = MAJOR classic. sideburns can do no wrong. hell, those 'burns are the best thing about neil young...

i had an ex boyfriend (the great lost love of my life) who used to come over, lift up his pageboy and show off his martin chuzzlewits coz he knew how much it turned me on. mmmmmmmm.

the thing that upsets me most about being a girl is not the 75p i earn for every male pound, it's my INABILITY TO GROW SIDEBURNS.

i've tried growing my hair long and sticking it to my cheeks, but it just doesn't look as good. sigh.

― kate, Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't know how a man can *not* wear them.

(btw, i don't mean 'a man' in a macho way, just not a woman)

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I looked at a picture of myself from 3 years ago which I found in my room, I have a big mop of hair and ridiculous sideburns, there was a passport photo from recently also there, I look about 16 now and 20 then. I'm all cleancut with only a tiny bit of spikey hair now I guess, but sideburns are dud I think, I looked like a 70s footballer in the other one. Long hair in general=dud, too much effort.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:11 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't know how a man can *not* wear them.

Very easily if you're me (long hair that covers your ears in general helps, admittedly).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I think when a girl has the bit of sideburn it's very pretty in a pixie way like Lucie de la Falaise on Vogue.

― Genevieve, Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I tried to grow 'em, kate, since you told me that Winnipeggers were all supposed to have them. Didn't work out too well. I'm blaming El Nino (how do you get the ~ over the n?). It's going to be a brown Christmas here in "Winterpeg" (it was 6 celsius here yesterday).

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:13 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.lexiconmagazine.com/NWC/img/uvox_ure2.jpg

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:16 (twenty-three years ago)

This means nothing to me, oh Vienna. Heh heh.

Sideys = classic only if they suit. Gratuitous facial hair is rub.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:22 (twenty-three years ago)

the worst is uncool peeps who think sideburns are uncool and so brutally shave them off along with half an inch of hair above the ear. negative sidies, if you will. we had a maths teacher at school who did this.

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:23 (twenty-three years ago)

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:t9hc-8JOLKIC:members.aol.com/richsjb/donmattingly/simp-donll.jpg

― minna (minna), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Quentin Tarantino had "negative" sideburns in a recent pic I saw of him. it was terrifying. So did Dee Dee Ramone (RIP)

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:28 (twenty-three years ago)

"don't shave too high, you'll regret it later" - sloan

― kate, Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:30 (twenty-three years ago)

and so brutally shave them off along with half an inch of hair above the ear

You make this sound like it's a bad thing! (I don't shave above the ear, admittedly -- that's a bit much! -- but in front of it and above, well...)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 December 2002 16:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Others,especially women-Classic
On Me-Dud

― brg30 (brg30), Thursday, 12 December 2002 17:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Sideburns are not 'classic'. Sideburns are NECESSARY.

Anti-sideburns are the quickest way possible to make oneself look like a chump (sorry sideburn-haters, it is true). At least keep a tiny bit of vestigial burn there, you don't need to grow them out. I saw a guy yesterday with such severe anti-sideburns that you could plainly see the frame of his glasses in sharp relief against the pink shaven flesh around his ear where a sideburn should go. It was terrifying.

― webcrack (music=crack), Thursday, 12 December 2002 17:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I saw a guy yesterday with such severe anti-sideburns that you could plainly see the frame of his glasses in sharp relief against the pink shaven flesh around his ear where a sideburn should go.

See, again, this is where long hair helps -- so people don't notice that this is in fact the case. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 December 2002 17:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Stupid McSideburns to thread!

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 12 December 2002 17:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Of course hating sideburns doesn't equal having anti sideburns, unless you're some mentalist who gets their actual hair chopped unnaturally cos you wake up someday thinking "can a man ever look enough like an idiot? Surely not".

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 12 December 2002 18:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Girl sideburns=dud.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 12 December 2002 18:48 (twenty-three years ago)

On the right side of the face = classic
On the left side = dud

ha ha ha...Cornershop..."sideburns on the left side, keep the right side hair-free"

Man, I wish I had that picture of my dad from when he was 18. He was 6'3", weighed 120, and about 80 of those pounds were his gigantic bushy black CHOPS. He had a pre-earline-FRO.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 12 December 2002 18:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Sideburns that look straight out of BH90210 = major dud.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 12 December 2002 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Sideburns bad, swept forward tufty Bruce Lee things good!

― Ferg (Ferg), Thursday, 12 December 2002 20:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Bryan, you'd look silly with dad-burned sideburns. Stop it.

I used to be so anti-burns that I did the ol shave-em-plus-some at an upward angle. I've since realized that a modest burn in front of the ear is a-okay. I still think that those kids with the great big mutton chops almost invariably look DUMM. But I'm a grouch.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 12 December 2002 21:05 (twenty-three years ago)

i was playing Joe in a local Knoxville prod. of "Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean Jimmy Dean" and was gonna get a James-Dean-style trimm the day before the show... buzzed in back and coming up a little fuller up top (Daddino style, had I the loX0r to pull it off). the "style" back then was the anti-burn. even though I told her to leave my sideburns intact the bitch-@ZZ BITCH cutting my hair lopped one of them right off faster than you cd say "f#ck you, biZnatch!!!" she was like "ooops, i forgot" but what are you gonna do at that point?? of course there was nothing to do but have the other one erased, too.... poor li'l guys. all dissected and scattered on the floor of that haircuterie. i colored in fake burns with a grease-pencil and it wasn't too bad

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 12 December 2002 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Mine took forever to grow, I have not the will to shave them off.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 12 December 2002 22:03 (twenty-three years ago)

and it's kinda nice when they go fuzzy at the ends.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 12 December 2002 22:11 (twenty-three years ago)

please talk about your sideburns some more, please blokes! uuuuuuuhhhhhhh... now i understand all the perving on the pigtails/braids thread.

― kate, Friday, 13 December 2002 14:33 (twenty-three years ago)

While I don't got the lambchops of others I do claim the bushiest burns in this here parts.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 13 December 2002 16:12 (twenty-three years ago)

My beard doesn't connect to my hairline. I am incapable of growing sideburns.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 December 2002 16:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Muttonchop sideburns are obviously a classic, especially when worn by a cavalry officer.

― Aimless, Friday, 13 December 2002 17:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Sideburns are named after this man:

http://www.twistedhistory.com/image/ambrose_burnside.jpg

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 13 December 2002 17:25 (twenty-three years ago)

General Burnsides! He marched through my hometown once, you know. He liked it so much that he stayed and built a fort (all the college kids in Knoxville now live in this area, "Fort Sanders"). His Confederate nemesis was General Longstreet. Thank goodness Burnsides held him off or not only might we be living in the Confederate States of America but all our rock stars would look like this -->

http://www.civilwarliterature.com/ListOfIllustrations/070964p0445w640.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 13 December 2002 17:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Golly...

http://www.mungojerry.de/Images/Bild3.jpg

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 13 December 2002 18:28 (twenty-three years ago)

SIDEBURNS = HOT SQUIGGLY SEXXX.

That is all.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 18 December 2002 03:03 (twenty-three years ago)

From AFI 36-2903 (Dress & Personal Appearance):

Sideburns (male)
Must be neatly trimmed and tapered in the same manner as the haircut. Will be straight and of even width (not flared) and
end in a clean-shaven horizontal line. May not extend below the lowest part of the exterior ear opening. (This does not
apply to individuals with shaving waivers.)

Obviously this is great advice for anybody.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 18 December 2002 03:56 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

I now have sideburns. They're a little patchy (getting better), but I think I'll keep 'em. Their grown coincided with the final arrival of winter about 2 weeks ago. Sorry Sean. If this means we won't be able to have a FAP when I get to TO (as you won't want me to meet anyone and embarrass you), so be it. Without realizing it I have been following the rules Tom posted above.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 2 January 2003 07:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I've had them (not bushy, to bottom of ear), more or less the same for about 8 or 9 years. I look chubbier without them, and I need all the hair I can get. Unless growing sideburns is starving the follicles on *top* of my head...

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 2 January 2003 15:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic.

I'm thinking of going for the oldskool presidential sideburns/moustache combination.

― Curtis Stephens, Thursday, 2 January 2003 21:12 (twenty-three years ago)

grown sb growth

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 3 January 2003 04:59 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

CLASSIC CLASSIC CLASSIC!!!

I am reviving this thread to revel in sideburn-love and appreciation!

― Luminiferous Aether (kate), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 10:31 (twenty years ago)

I have a friend who has very blond hair but very ginger sideburns.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

Trevor Bolder's silver sideburns! (Not a good pic)

http://www.5years.com/Ima134.jpg

― Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

I have a friend who has very blond hair but very ginger sideburns.

That is the hottttttest thing ever. Is he single?

(it is intensely pervy of me to think this, as most of the men in my family have the blond hair and ginger beards combination. I think it's just a celtic thing.)

― Luminiferous Aether (kate), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

Alas, no; he found the love of his life when they were at university and are probably going to live together for ever and have babies and puppies and things.

Not that I'm bitter.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:09 (twenty years ago)

Smug married should be rounded up and shot. Or something.

(Man, I need to get laid.)

― Luminiferous Aether (kate), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

Ah, great thread. I once grew a beard because I couldn't make sideburns work :(

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:25 (twenty years ago)

Couldn't you just shave the middle bit out of said beard?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

moustaches are the new sideburns. come october 1, sideburns will be the new sideburns again.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

how do you get the ~ over the n? ñ… option n, then n again.
I don't like too much attention paid to facial hair. Any affectations at all in that department turn me off. Trimmed beards, goatees, soul patches, Amish-style low beard with no mustache...YUK. I have a knee-jerk reaction to that much vanity in men. The beards I like are the beards of neglect and slovenliness. An all-over growth. That's sexy. Fussy barbering isn't. It might be amusing, but not sexy. To me, that is. So, DUD!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

All facial hair = dud

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

six years pass...

I've never seen this clip before. Major mutton chop alert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM

― clemenza, Monday, 27 August 2012 22:46 (thirteen years ago)

Nods along:

With a fat beat, when her daddy with a me
We'll have everybody, but we do as we please
When the weather's fine
We go fishing or go swimming in the sea
We're always happy
Long's we're living in this sound philosophy

This lyric reconciles me to the muttonchops.

― Aimless, Monday, 27 August 2012 22:54 (thirteen years ago)

http://www.atwistedspoke.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Wiggo.jpeg

― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Monday, 27 August 2012 22:57 (thirteen years ago)

The line that always gets me--how things have changed--is "Have a drink, have a drive, go out and see what you can find." Societal concerns notwithstanding, I do think it's a work of genius.

― clemenza, Monday, 27 August 2012 22:57 (thirteen years ago)

<3 that song

― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Monday, 27 August 2012 22:59 (thirteen years ago)

Without checking, Aimless, I've always heard a couple of those lines differently: "We love everybody, but we do as we please" and "Life's for livin', yeah, that's our philosophy."

― clemenza, Monday, 27 August 2012 23:01 (thirteen years ago)

@clemenza...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5ma_Xv7rGM

― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Monday, 27 August 2012 23:02 (thirteen years ago)

Used for a UK anti-drink driving campaign in 1992.

― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Monday, 27 August 2012 23:03 (thirteen years ago)

Wow...Wonder how many people from my demographic found that kind of startling. Assume they had the band's permission, and I don't like that there's this implicit (accidental, I'm sure) subtext that Mungo Jerry were evil, but I won't complain--very effective, eminently worthwhile message.

― clemenza, Monday, 27 August 2012 23:07 (thirteen years ago)

I just did a cut-and-paste from a cruddy lyrics site. I agree with your version, clem.

― Aimless, Monday, 27 August 2012 23:07 (thirteen years ago)

I certainly remember it very vividly. That's 20 years ago now, but the anti-drink drive advert is the very first thing I think of whenever I hear the song.

― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Monday, 27 August 2012 23:09 (thirteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.