Female Friends

Just as important as having opposite sex friends.

Shrug. You take what you can get, really. You're not handicapped, either way. It really depends on what you get out of your friendships, regardless of what sex your friends are.

Have you made any new friends lately? How did you meet them? Or do you think your group of friends is already pretty solidified?

I find SJP repulsive as well. I hate that show with a passion.

I may have to start pretending to be someone else.

Maybe someone with a lot of money?

Your boyfriend doesn't employ the 'come in here and talk to me!' argument, I see.

I spent like en eternity last night hanging with three guys from school. About an hour of our time together was spent them freely discussing masterbation. Should I be worried that guy topics freely abound when I am around? Does this prove I am the man's man of NYC ILX, as discussed with a few ILXers at the last FAP?

I tend to make friends with people who share my interests. When my only interests were music and guitars and things, most of my friends were guys, with only the occasional girl in a band mate. (My best friends have almost always been female, except with one exception.) It's odd, though, for the first time in my life since I was a teenage, I seem to have more girlfriends than boy friends. This feels lopsided and imbalanced. I just seem to be screwing up a lot lately, letting fancying get in the way of male friends, so that it seemed my only male friends are married to my female friends. But I think this is changing... I hope.

I don't know. I don't particularly like people who rigidly adhere to gender roles, but I like people of either gender if they are willing to ignore gender roles.

When I was a little girl, I wasn't a tomboy...I was weak and bad at sports, but I hated horses, dolls, all the stuff the little girls in my neighborhood liked. little girls are so cruel! I had all guy friends then. It was nice to just have a friend who wanted to play nintendo and not take things so SERIOUSLY all the time!

In high school I made friends with a group of really dynamic, creative girls. I thought they were so amazing, compelling --- they never sought to gossip or cut others down for the fun of it, and they could relate to a lot more feminine things. I just felt better around them...I think it's important to have friends who are girls, but also very difficult to find nice girls. I like being around people who are sure of themselves, and sadly it seems this happens a lot more often with men than with women!

During my trip, I spent a lot of quality time with my sisters and female cousins. We bonded over the youngest sister's potential wedding and move to Paris. It was a very emotional couple of days, but only vicariously. I don't have that much drama in my own life.

It was better once I got to college, and could go to gigs on my own. I actually met other females that liked the same music I did. Hell, even if they didn't, they had more interesting things to talk about.

Even now, I have more male than female friends. Not easy, especially once your mum starts wondering why you haven't gone out with any of them yet;>

I guess I kind of have some friends at work, but I feel weird about it because if I quit, then I think they'd hate me.

95% of my friends are female, I just find it easier to socialize with women than with men. I guess it's because I lack most of the stereotypical male traits. And I'm not even gay!

i came here to post about my friend's birthday (not ilxor). she is one of my oldest friends and is really only one of a few people who have known me for that long and who know me for real. like, for real real. we've been through several serious feuds and lots of other stuff and we're still friends. happy birthday to her.

also i am pleased to say that OP sarah and i are female friends now. hooray for female friends!

excellent news on both counts! happy birthday to your friend.

afraid i've been a bit short with my close female friends recently. i've been trying hard to whine less about things that are pretty much fixed parts of daily life (allergies & the resulting sinus headaches, school/research pressure, money) because i started to feel annoying, but then it maes me much less sympathetic to them whining about the exact same things. am not sure what to do about this, because the way i stop myself from complaining is by convincing myself it's really no big deal, but that is not what they want to hear.

if your friends are the kind of good friends who understand you, they will tell you mercifully if they've had enough. if they haven't told you to stop griping, don't worry about it imo

i visited my female friend this weekend and we went to a party and i wanted to leave but she didn't want to bc she was being an annoying drunk (it was like 4 am though!) and i got really mad at her and went to sleep on a couch and i could hear her saying maudlinly "how do i make her not mad at me she is my best friend" so that was enough that i pretended not to be mad at her the next day but in truth i still am. her cat also caused my phone to be submerged in water.

"how do i make her not mad at me she is my best friend"

:(

it's ok i'm still pretending not to be mad
the main reason is it was an inside-smoking house and i felt like i was suffocating

friends are selfish sometimes

alcohol doesn't help

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_GxXRbSFDg

I watched the shit out of this show.

<3 <3 <3

So did I. Even in reruns. Even in the awful later Beverly Anne years.

lol yes! I'd forgotten about Beverly Anne.

Didn't Natalie have a boyfriend named . . . Snake?

Yes, he was a construction worker? He turned out to be pretty cute too iirc. The only big disappointment at the end is that Jo winds up accepting the proposal of an absolute dullard. She was supposed to do something great, but she wound up wearing the most awful outfits and agreeing to marry that dumb guy. :(

I remember that! She became so suburban. :(

Awww, the OP here and two other laydeez posting in this thread are three of my favorite IRL female friends (female or male, actually) and we all met because of ILX.

I've been feeling pretty low on the female friend front lately, and it's no one's fault, just a fact of life (lol) so I resolved myself to steely resilience but yesterday -- yesterday I was reaching for a cart at the grocery store, and a long arm was also reaching for the same cart. I looked up and it was attached to a very tall woman I know both socially and professionally, and I've always liked her so I was like HI! [her name]!! It's me! [my name]!!" like she couldn't see me or something and then we proceeded to talk for like 20 min standing in front of the carts, just jib jabbing about work and music and traveling and it was so pleasant. She seemed to enjoy the conversation too, and she exclaimed "you're so cute!" which made me feel good bc it has been ages since someone told me that I am cute. I was so happy to have that type of lively conversation that I demanded her phone number and then she texted me and said she really does want to hang out because there aren't that many people she has things in common with. And I was like lol, tell me about it and I hope I have started a new female friendship.

yaay!

One of my best and oldest female friends moved to the west coast last week and I am still in a bit of disbelief that she doesn't just live a block away anymore.

xp !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so pleased for u!

that's hard rrobyn. hope it's not too rough on either of you!

i thought maybe i had made another female friend at a show a while ago, but i don't really know much about her and i'm unusually apprehensive about complete strangers. at least on ilx you have an opportunity to observe people before you make a friendly overture. same with the tall woman -- i've known who she is for years and we have mutual friends, but i didn't know if she had the time or inclination to be friends with me. now i know she does!

Aw, 'grats! That's the best feeling.

I mean to LL. Sheesh, I can be a real boor.

I need more irl lady friends.

But I am v happy for LL!

Well, I'm not buying us BFF necklaces just yet, but it was a positive development and I'll take what I can get in that dept.

Way to go, LL. I hope this friendship blossoms.

wow it has been almost 5 years

that friendship i bumped the thread with 5 years ago did not flourish, but others have, at least somewhat. in feb of this year i found my childhood bff (who was my closest friend until we were 23 or so) after 20 years of not being in contact thanks to this article she wrote about our childhood <3 https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/16/opinion/sunday/catholic-school-nuns-feminism.html

i guess she didh't write it about our childhood precisely but the things she learned, i learned too. being back in touch with her has brought me what can only be described as a fountain of joy.

Wow LL!

that's awesome and amazing!!

We still have so much in common! And when that piece was published I was teaching the narrative essay in the first few weeks of my spring semester class and I told them the story, had them read the essay. Bonus: She’s a writing teacher too! She’s better at actual writing than I am. I have to be prodded. Generally AMA but I don’t usually answer questions no one asked :-/

at first i read it as 'we didn't talk for 20 years because she wrote this (horrible) article about our childhood'

this is better!

TREEHOUSE EXPOSE

LA EL ON OUTS

Unintentional ambiguity — sorry! The reason we drifted was much more banal and involved no malice on either side.