What's the least appropriate/worst present you have ever received?

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When I was about 13, my Godmother gave me 'A Secret World of Sex' - an account of British attitudes to sex in the first half of the 20th Century.

Actually, I quite enjoyed it, but my grandmother said it was not a good present to have given.

The year before, the same Godmother had given me a limericks book full of limericks containing words like 'fuck','quim' and 'plumb'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 27 December 2002 17:52 (twenty-three years ago)

This is the corrected version.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 27 December 2002 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

That would be the time my Auntie gave me a box full of toffees oblivious to the fact that I had almost been pelted to death by toffees just a week earlier! You should have seen the look on her face when we told her!!!!

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:01 (twenty-three years ago)

"pelted to death by toffees"!?!!?

― geeta (geeta), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:13 (twenty-three years ago)

This is what passed for bullying in Ronan's privileged childhood.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:17 (twenty-three years ago)

The Christmas before last my Dad bought me a plane. The wood-working variety. I live in a rented flat, I don't do any DIY. It has sat on top of the TV ever since.

― Alfie (Alfie), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Now you can never complain that there's nothing on the TV.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

"toffee" = Irish slang for goat testicles.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Very smooth, N.

― Alfie (Alfie), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:31 (twenty-three years ago)

What, the top of your TV now?

OH OH OH OH OH OH OH

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:38 (twenty-three years ago)

This year my parents gave me a pedometer. Sadly, this was not a gag gift to measure your propensity towards kiddy-fiddling; it is a little device that fits on your belt and shames you into walking around more so that you can passively nip the impending spare-tire in the bud. Grr I AM NOT GETTING FAT (yet).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 27 December 2002 18:39 (twenty-three years ago)

A few things anyone who has met me knows: I absolutely cannot stand PCs. I do not watch television. I do not wear "joke" t-shirts. I am irrationally fanatical about the first two points. So for xmas, I get.... a "Cartoon Network" t-shirt, and a "C: \dos C: \dos\run" or something like that t-shirt. Right. Thanks.

― Dave Fischer, Friday, 27 December 2002 18:44 (twenty-three years ago)

It was a lie, the toffee/goat testicle thing never happened.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 27 December 2002 19:22 (twenty-three years ago)

My work secret santa pressie this year was a fishing diary and fish-shaped keyring. I have zero interest in fishing, and cannot conceive of how I could have ever given anyone any other impression.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 27 December 2002 19:45 (twenty-three years ago)

They probably have some nickname for you behind your back like 'Fisherman Martin'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 27 December 2002 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

A couple of Christmas' ago, my brother gave my a plastic life-size replica of an owl. It is supposed to frighten birds, squirrels, and other creatures away from your garden/yard. I have neither a garden nor a yard. It now guards my refridgerator.

― cprek, Friday, 27 December 2002 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I cannot believe my workmates would be so uninsulting as that, Nick.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:25 (twenty-three years ago)

When I was 15 my Aunt gave me a barbie. Now I realize I am very immature for my age, but even still she should have realized I was too old for one. But then this is the same Aunt who gave me a giant ceramic ET pin with rhinestone eyes one year -- probably 5 years after the movie came out.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 27 December 2002 20:53 (twenty-three years ago)

A friend gave me a chihuahua calendar a couple years ago. I was working at Taco Bell at the time. Now that I think about it, it was pretty funny, though said friend rolling on the floor in pain from laughter at the expression on my face post-opening made it way too easy to chuck the damn thing.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 27 December 2002 22:50 (twenty-three years ago)

My little sister bought me three g-strings, which isn't so bad except my mom and her convinced me to open it up at work, in front of everyone - I agreed to open one gift pre-Xmas (UPS delivered to work because NYC sucks and it's easier that way), because people at work were nosy, and they convinced me to open my sister's gift.

Which was g-strings. Like a week after I was told I dress too sexy for the office. Nice.

I mean, dude, don't get wrong, they were awesome underwear, but I don't think everyone at work needed to see them.

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 28 December 2002 08:50 (twenty-three years ago)

my uncle gave me a single earring, wrapped in tinfoil, and the card was an overexposed photo of him on a boat

― minna (minna), Saturday, 28 December 2002 09:04 (twenty-three years ago)

HAHAHA just one earring?!

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 28 December 2002 09:06 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, it was quite nice - mexican, with turquoise and all that. but not big or bold enough to be a single bold statement earring like annie lennox would wear or anything, and not small enough to be worn alone unnoticed. another birthday he gave me a dub of a woody allen tape. he gave my dad beige jumbo cord trousers! oh i have lots of stories about this uncle.

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TAAWA7cYGONlYErUyWTGepCKVQwCEE12j8EqeeNqw3GXNTlZOdxwQ05m3vpjgfkhVaytuKJzG7RPLMB47cA!N8w1gW5upBPQEcrn3ZbYQrbvUjNdi6wh9g/crazyuncleron.jpg?dc=4675394477831478087

he's the one on the left.

― minna (minna), Saturday, 28 December 2002 10:33 (twenty-three years ago)

A self-help book on how to overcome drug addiction. Which probably was a very practical and helpful gift, but unwrapping it in front of the family and having to explain why somebody felt the need to give me one (even as a 'joke') was a bit shitty

― dave q, Saturday, 28 December 2002 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Plus it from a close relative, so the 'joke' explanation wasn't an option

― dave q, Saturday, 28 December 2002 10:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Grr I AM NOT GETTING FAT (yet).

And yet, yer folks dare disagree, Dan? Return the favour: give them walking sticks and a bottle of Viagra....

Scariest gift? When I was around 22, an ever-loving relative saw fit to give me a set of thongs.

What was this trying to say?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Saturday, 28 December 2002 21:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you want to know the true rudeness of it all? THEY HADN'T SEEN ME FOR A YEAR. I'm sitting here thinking that they've been imagining me slapping on the pounds over the past twelve months. ("Mmmmmm, deep-fried butter pops!")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 29 December 2002 00:46 (twenty-three years ago)

i luv my little brother, but this year he gave me a dreamcatcher. A DREAMCATCHER.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 29 December 2002 07:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Next year give him a dream that you caught.

― Mark C (Mark C), Sunday, 29 December 2002 11:41 (twenty-three years ago)

I feel the pain Di - I've been given about 3 of them. One of them was made of leather...I have to cut them up to nonexistence as soon as I can!

What the hell is a set of thongs anyway??? scary! how many do you need? (besides none)!

― spectra, Sunday, 29 December 2002 11:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I have found pictures of dreamcatchers on ebay but I am still unclear as to what they are/

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 29 December 2002 12:09 (twenty-three years ago)

They are supposed to intercept your nightmares so you get no bad dreams.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 29 December 2002 12:14 (twenty-three years ago)

HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY WORK?

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 29 December 2002 12:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Obviously they don't work at all, Nick. My ex-wife had one for ages, and there seemed to be no difference in the frequency or nastiness of her dreams.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 29 December 2002 13:20 (twenty-three years ago)

A friend of my wife's family gave us a pair of hand-decorated Christmas stockings as a wedding present. Given that I'm Jewish, this was a little disconcerting.

― Douglas, Sunday, 29 December 2002 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

a Hootie and the Blowfish CD.

― Curtis Stephens, Monday, 30 December 2002 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

A beige bath mat. When I was 13.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 30 December 2002 19:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Summer camp when I was 11. I get this completely cryptic letter from my dad saying the present from my grandmother (which hadn't arrived yet) I could wear if I wanted to but probably only if I understand it and that if I didn't understand it than it would probably be a better idea if I didn't. Anyway, the next day a button arrived from my grandma, and it read: "I got kicked out of the boy scouts for eating a brownie." She had no idea -- and neither did I, but I decided to not wear because buttons weren't cool, not cuz of the letter from my dad. I think I might still have it somewhere.

― Aaron W, Monday, 30 December 2002 21:47 (twenty-three years ago)

But Aaron, that's the best present EVAH!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 December 2002 21:58 (twenty-three years ago)

that's awesome aaron.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 30 December 2002 21:59 (twenty-three years ago)

A Milli Vanilli cassette for my eleventh birthday, from a friend who was somewhat guiltily obsessed with them and desperately wanted a partner in shame. I hated it - always did - but that wasn't enough to stop his subsequent attempts to convert me, however futile.

Later, when he was given a pair of tickets to see them live for his birthday, he stubbornly invited me along. I grumbled about going until I found out that the opening act was none other than my own personal Milli Vanilli, Young MC.

In a not unrelated note, I found "Stone Cold Rhymin'" used for $6 the other day and I've been rockin' it in nostalgic bliss ever since.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 30 December 2002 22:01 (twenty-three years ago)

A Hootie and The Blowfish bathmat, age 11.

― Graham (graham), Monday, 30 December 2002 23:44 (twenty-three years ago)

You can look at it Graham and have it summon forth all of your fond memories of Dang Perry.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 02:44 (twenty-three years ago)

My Gran gave me the "Judy for Girls" annual, the Chrismas I was 18.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 02:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Hahaha you step out of the shower every day and see Dan Perry! How bad could it be, Graham?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 04:01 (twenty-three years ago)

And Dang can make suggestive jokes about seeing people naked -- everyone's a winner.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 04:02 (twenty-three years ago)

THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 04:41 (twenty-three years ago)

But people can drip on you!

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 04:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Thank you, Nicole, for the unfortunately-vivid mental image of prebubescent crotches dripping on my face. I will cherish that for the amount of time it will take me to rush to the toilet bowl and hurl.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 04:51 (twenty-three years ago)

ah, a new low. most impressive.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 05:04 (twenty-three years ago)

You look at me, you got nothing left to say
I'm gonna balance you until I get my way
I won't dance, you won't sing
I just want to love you
But you want to wear my ring

Well, there's nothing I can do
I only wanna drip on you
You can call me your fool
I only wanna drip on you...

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 05:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Shit Dang, I almost puked I was laughing so hard.
a Hootie and the Blowfish CD.
I also got a a Hootie cd for christmas from my father, but it came with Husker Du's Everything Falls Apart cd. I also got three screwdriver set this christmas from my mother as three seperate gifts.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 05:59 (twenty-three years ago)

An I AM 8 card & badge. I was 6 at the time.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 31 December 2002 15:47 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Actually I think perhaps it was some Ex Libris stickers.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

One Xmas my aunt---who is notorious for giving shite gifts---gave me a fugly Florida Marlins t-shirt, a Florida Marlins wastebasket, and a Florida Marlins mini-basketball hoop thingee to put on the wastebasket. I have never lived in Florida. I have never liked the Marlins. And at that point, it was at least 8 years since I had any interest in the sport of baseball, whatsoever.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

This Xmas - Simple Wisdom: Caring Thoughts to Make the Most of Each Day
Today's thought is "Pleasing ourselves with honesty makes pleasing others that much more fulfilling."

― Poppy (poppy), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 07:44 (twenty-two years ago)

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