Overheard Cockfarmers In Restaurants/Bars - Classic or Dud?

I say CLASSIC, of course. Usually when we overhear cockfarmers, we start a conversation of equal volume talking about how pathetic people like the cockfarmers in question are. (OH NO NOW WE ARE COCKFARMERS THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON except that we're still laughing at them so WE WIN YAY HOME TEAM)

I was in an Indian restaurant once in Stratford once sitting near these three work party people, one of whom was really drunk and talking shite in a loud voice. It was kind of amusing, and then to compensate us for having to sit near them the restaurant gave us a brandy each. So CLASSIC. if you get free booze out of it.

I was out to brunch with two of my musician friends who happen to be women who happen to be a couple of the lesbian variety. The next table over, some people were talking about how homosexuals, single-parents, and liberals are destroying America.

The thing is, it was just hilarious. Everything they said was the worst stereotyping you can imagine, with lots of hearty agreement. All we could do, as two lesbian-lovers and a single-father, was laugh hysterically at each thing they said. I'm sure they realized we were laughing at them, 'cause they stopped after awhile.

Some choice quotes: "it's 'cause of the gays that AIDS exists, they deserve to get AIDS", "I'm tired of single-parents stealing my hard-earned money", "the ACLU is just one of many faces of Satan"...verfuckinbatim.

My older brother used to be one of these cockfarmers. Right after he hit puberty, he developed a fondness for smothering all family conversation with epic tirades about everything, not just the usual slander about jews and blacks and asians and gays, but also EVERYONE was out to get him and how NOBODY understood (quite literally and in so many words) that he was the only perfect human being on the planet. This lasted a couple of years until my parents basically stopped going to restaurants with him.

In retrospect, it seems that he would save up these rants for family occasions, mainly certain holidays and most casual outings, trips to restaurants included. It was so mind-numbingly boring and upsetting to hear that the stares from strangers were the least of the problem.

He's quite rational now, oddly enough.

Loud people annoy me period. anyone who talks on cellphones at restaurant tables or while out with other people (w/out excusing themsevles to a private corner) is a cockfarmer.

I don't mind too much, most people around here who feel this way keep it to themselves, with the exception of Rev. Jeff Fugate, who has gotten lots of local press for his intense hate-filled rants against everyone not exactly like him and his followers.

Once, Rev. Fugate came door-to-door to my apartment, and as I was talking to him, my upstair's neighbors came home. They're Muslims, from Jordan, and came through the door speaking Arabic. This was Oct. '01. He didn't say one word as they passed through the hall, and had broken out in a sweat. I loved watching him deathly afraid of this couple and their three children.

This possibility never really occurred to me before. Now that I think on it, it was probably part of the thrill, but only a part -- the sheer intensity of his behavior keeps me from believing he was doing it to entertain himself. Also, he would invariably try to draw my parents in some way or another (much more my mom than my dad), but he'd also do this at home or in the car, too.