Sadness, and not having a S.O.

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Amazingly I don't feel this way this go round. How long can I expect this good streak of emotional luck to go on?

I have 3 dates (with different folks) lined up in the next couple of weeks and don't feel too excited about any of them.

hmm, is this normal?

― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 10 January 2003 02:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I am SAVING THE ULTRA-DOLLARS

It's GREAT

Singleness means I can drink more, too!

― Tom Millar (Millar), Friday, 10 January 2003 02:11 (twenty-three years ago)

This is only tangentially connected, but, as I don't have a significant other (which doesn't really make me sad, either) and I don't really know many people, would anyone like to go and hear bands play in Wanganui on Saturday?

― isadora (isadora), Friday, 10 January 2003 02:12 (twenty-three years ago)

hey we should make this the single person hang out/hook up thread!

― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 10 January 2003 02:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I have not S.O. and it's okay so long as I get enough cuddles & snuggles from my friends because having no physical contact with other humans makes you go crazy-mad & depressed.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 10 January 2003 02:56 (twenty-three years ago)

There was a time (the year after I broke up with the guy I considered the great love of my life) when finding someone new meant everything to me, and my happiness and self-esteem were completely contingent upon having a significant other. That wasn't the best time in my life. Well, now it's a year since I broke up with my last boyfriend (who was decidedly not the great love of my life); I'm still single, and although I'm sort of lonely, I don't feel desperate. And I can't even conceive of going through the whole grueling "dating" ordeal right now. The good news is that having-loved-and-lost isn't as hard for me now as it was when I was 23.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 10 January 2003 03:41 (twenty-three years ago)

having no physical contact with other humans makes you go crazy-mad & depressed
It does. :(

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Friday, 10 January 2003 03:51 (twenty-three years ago)

hey maybe that's why i'm crazy mad, oh i guess i'm not really. i don't think i am depressed, but i am angry a lot. mainly when i'm either a)at work or b) driving. other times are O.K.

anyways i can't really remember exactly when it was that i had a SO, but it was a long long time ago. i'm not sure that i could deal with having one anymore. maybe if they were cool

― ron (ron), Friday, 10 January 2003 04:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I have 3 dates (with different folks) lined up in the next couple of weeks and don't feel too excited about any of them.

Is this because the guys are duds, or because you just don't care that much?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 10 January 2003 06:51 (twenty-three years ago)

"Guys" is presumptuous of me, of course. You didn't specify.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 10 January 2003 06:53 (twenty-three years ago)

if I had three dates lined up i'd be feeling pretty levelheaded and satisfied too, but I live in NZ where it seems dating etiquette is different (we don't, really).

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 10 January 2003 10:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I am fitter, happier, more well adjusted, not drinking too much when I do NOT have an S.O. But that could be because I am the world's biggest Psycho Magnet. I've had an attitude readjustment where I've decided that it's not that big a deal, I really don't care, and, erm, strange crushes that form like bubbles and shortly pop aside, well, it's much healthier.

If I want snuggles, I have the Hugging Pillow. Wouldn't it be great if we could have a Snuggle Exchange where single people who don't want sex or relationships or any of that nonsense could just go to get their snuggle urge satisfied with no fuss and no messiness and the understanding that all that is wanted is snuggles? Or is that really, really sad?

― kate, Friday, 10 January 2003 11:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't have an S.O. but, then again, I've never had an S.O. so I don't know what I'm missing, sort of. At the end of the day I'm sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes lonely and sometimes delighted in my solitude and independence. So I'm not about to issue an S.O.S. (sorry!). That said, I'd love to meet an S.O.

― Gordon (Gordon), Friday, 10 January 2003 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Usually when I'm least concerned with dating and S.O.'s is when the flood gates of love burst open. Most people are not going to approach someone who's acting sad, mopey and appears to be desperate.(Note:I'm not saying anyone involved with this thread is or give off that vibe)
So when you go out this weekend smile and flirt nicely with a hottie..Maybe you'll get lucky :-)

― brg30 (brg30), Friday, 10 January 2003 20:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I shall flirt nicely with Chris at his birthday FAP.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 10 January 2003 20:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I tend to think my sadness does indeed stem from my lack of a S.O. So many other things in my life are in place, but this lack is deep and profound. It's worse when I consider that at this point in my life most if not all of my friends are married and starting families, so the hang out with the guys/girls thing is really diminished. And going out to bars/clubs, which consumed so much of my life, has pretty much lost all its appeal. I do have the occasional date, but they hold very little appeal. I really find it hard to date casually, too. I can't just be happy with someone nice/attractive, etc. I have to be overcome with interest/emotion/desire very shortly after meeting them, or it just isn't worth it to me. This never happens (or very very rarely). I know this attitude is immature or something, but on the other hand, why should I go out with someone who I know isn't really a candidate for a relationship? It's just a waste of time. I'm not totally self defeating; I do still go out on dates every now and then to keep myself out there. Anyway, sadness, yeah.

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 11 January 2003 16:13 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm really glad that i'm not old or independent enough to feel like that lack matters. maybe i'll become one of those bitter women in their late twenties in ten years, though. what a trap.

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 11 January 2003 16:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Late twenties! *laughs*... those were the days!

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 11 January 2003 16:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Some of us can barely remember our late thirties.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 11 January 2003 16:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Wouldn't it be great if we could have a Snuggle Exchange where single people who don't want sex or relationships or any of that nonsense could just go to get their snuggle urge satisfied with no fuss and no messiness and the understanding that all that is wanted is snuggles? Or is that really, really sad?

It probably is really really sad. It's also a DAMN GOOD IDEA and would be a great thing to have.

(yes, I have to make do with hugging my favourite pillow in bed)

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 11 January 2003 16:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I am delighted to hug anyone who wants me to (well, apart from the very few people I dislike, but they ain't going to ask), and used to the fact that that is almost no one.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 11 January 2003 17:04 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a little sad that there are so many people looking, but these people can't find each other. And not only am I familiar with the concept of the Hugging Pillow, this Christmas I was considering getting a teddy bear for similar purposes.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 11 January 2003 18:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, a little sad. Ha! A little!
*Drains cocktail, slams it down*

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 11 January 2003 19:09 (twenty-three years ago)

The problem is, I ideally want to snuggle a Dirty Dronerock Boy with whom I could also talk about the Velvet Underground. But if such a person were willing to snuggle, they would clearly be my boyfriend already. Sigh...

― kate, Saturday, 11 January 2003 19:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I think that there are lots of people who are dating or have some form of relationship that they view as incomplete who are satisfying this desire more than others. I don't know if that means that the Snuggle Exchange is a better way of satisfying that desire. I don't think that it would avoid messiness by any means. But it could be a better formal approach.

― gabbneb, Saturday, 11 January 2003 19:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish I could settle for incomplete!

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 11 January 2003 19:43 (twenty-three years ago)

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