are you submissive or dominant in the sack?

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or what?

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:05 (twenty-three years ago)

(invisible sound of all ilX0r mentally ID'ing the persons they hope will post on this thread)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:10 (twenty-three years ago)

What do you think? Like duh, dumbass...

― kate, Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Two down, one to go.

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm sorry... just trying to get my head around why John thought it was necessary to specify "invisible sound".

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:14 (twenty-three years ago)

does this question refer to the three-legged race?

― gabbneb, Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, right, like *anyone* is really gonna step up and admit "Yeah, man, I like to pick up a dirty dronerock boy, tear his clothes off, throw him down on the matress and hold him down by his dronerock hair while I ravish him...!" in public. Come one, no one's that dumb...

― a secret!, Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:17 (twenty-three years ago)

...good point Kim *smacks forehead*

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

oh so that's what a visible sound looks like...

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:20 (twenty-three years ago)

you know instead of smacking my own forehead I bet I could hire someone to do it for me...oops

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I am rubbish at sack races and always fall over

― C J (C J), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, give some John some slack. I think he meant sound in a Cage "4'33" kinda way, and attached to the images of these people making these abstract "sounds" staring at their computers with twinkle in their dirty eyes and minds. So, it obviously wasn't "invisible" in his head.

I presume too much, though.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I have GOT to borrow that winky face from Ned more often....

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:32 (twenty-three years ago)

answer the question you pervs

or else

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Dominant like Rocco.

Hair pulling, spanking, face fucking.

― , Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I can be either, depending on my mood.

I suppose you want me to recount that story about the police officer boyfriend of mine some years ago who handcuffed me to the bed and then realised (some while later) that he had left the handcuff keys at the police station which was a twenty-eight mile round trip away but I wasn't to worry because handcuff keys are standard issue so he'd just get on the police radio and call up a passing patrol car for someone to rescue me quickly since I was bursting for a wee and had lost my sense of humour.......

But I won't mention that.

― C J (C J), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I knew Kim wuz bein' funny hence my response however just to make sure I am going to spank everybody on this thread

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:02 (twenty-three years ago)

and preserve the moment on digital video besides

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:03 (twenty-three years ago)

being tied down by a sexy boy ... mmmmmmmm :-)

― submissive (caitlin), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh sometimes it's good to be bad!

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I was waiting for the magic hour on ILX when everyone stopped being facetious and started being dirty! Woo! The only problem is that only the dominants are going to have the *nerve* to post to a thead like this, so we'll never find our dream partners here...

― kate, Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

No, but we can talk about different stuff that's fun to do

― Tom Millar (Millar), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:46 (twenty-three years ago)

i was kinda being facetious actually but i'm all for the dirt

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:47 (twenty-three years ago)

But you all already KNOW what I'd like to do. Tie up Julian Casablancas and beat him with hot wheels tracks...

― kate, Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:48 (twenty-three years ago)

can't remember, its been so long! haha my hand dominates me, while i submit to its expertise?

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I want to be Kate when I grow up.

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 12 January 2003 00:23 (twenty-three years ago)

So do I...

― kate, Sunday, 12 January 2003 00:26 (twenty-three years ago)

i really like the non sex of sex, the cuddling handjob type things that require no binaries

― anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, 12 January 2003 00:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I have GOT to borrow that winky face from Ned more often....

Thievery.

My answer? Context is all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 January 2003 01:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I really don't know! It's interesting to wonder about though.

― Maria (Maria), Sunday, 12 January 2003 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

In what sense is a handjob non binary???

― Tom (Groke), Sunday, 12 January 2003 03:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, theivery? Well I NEVER!

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 12 January 2003 03:11 (twenty-three years ago)

it's digital?

― ron (ron), Sunday, 12 January 2003 03:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, theivery? Well I NEVER!

You say mean things about me (along with all those other Canadians) and you think to get away with it? HMF. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 January 2003 03:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Well ok, maybe that one time.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 12 January 2003 03:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, no one has ever tied me to the bed...On the other hand, the one time I tied someone to the bed I immediately untied him when he seriously asked to be untied. Interpret this as you will; my love life has yet to demonstrate any logic.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 12 January 2003 04:06 (twenty-three years ago)

The only problem is that only the dominants are going to have the *nerve* to post to a thead like this, so we'll never find our dream partners here...

Hey, I did!

OK, I did do it anonymously. But I still posted!

― submissive (caitlin), Sunday, 12 January 2003 10:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I think emotionally I like being the dominant one, but in bed? I like being overpowered and tied down. Are you happy now?

― That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 12 January 2003 10:45 (twenty-three years ago)

ARGH read the FAQ about login names 'anonymous'.

― Tom (Groke), Sunday, 12 January 2003 10:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, but I thought anon did that on purpose coz anon wanted to get caught so anon would have to be PUNNISHED!

― kate, Sunday, 12 January 2003 10:47 (twenty-three years ago)

*giggle* I wouldn't say no ;-)

(to Tom: I know about the lack of anonymity when logged in; I only wanted protecting from random Googlers really)

― submissive (caitlin), Sunday, 12 January 2003 10:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh thats OK then!

― Tom (Groke), Sunday, 12 January 2003 10:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I was in a relationship with a woman for two years, where I was the dom, and she was the sub. It had always interested me, in an abstract way. Most of the people who are hard-core into D-and-s would laugh at me calling it that, probably. We never used props, or acted out pre-approved "scenes," or got super-intense, or extreme. It was just the way we fucked. She liked being dominated, and, as it turned out, I liked dominating. A lot. I always liked being rough in bed, but I had never done it in such a concentrated way before, or with someone who got off on it like that. A lot of hair-pulling, spanking, whipping, stiff hair-brush bristles pushed against her pussy while fucking her mouth, and verbal abuse. Haven't been with anyone since, but I'm hoping I find someone who likes that, too, because I'm not sure I can go back to regular vanilla sex after that.

― Sorry (Sorry), Sunday, 12 January 2003 12:16 (twenty-three years ago)

one does not need to be into S&M or B&D to have a "dominant" and a "submissive" in the bedroom, or in the relationship at all.

(explanation: like most people, I flirted with this extreme sex thing, and found it all rather boring and ritualised, it's better in theory/imagination than in practice.)

What I find more interesting is emotional domination/submission. Some people have set patterns of being a doormat or being domineering, and their relationships are so similar they seem to be reading them from scripts. Other people veer from one extreme to the other; after a relationship where they are the doormat, they will turn around and treat their next partner the way that they were treated.

It's strange, because from the "how many times have you been in love" thread, I realise that in the only relationships I've ever thought that I was really "in love" where ones in which I felt the victim, despite the fact that I come across as quite domineering to most people. This is such a recognised phenomenon in B&D circles that it's a cliche (CEO of company who likes to get beaten by dominatrixes) but does it happen just as often in non-extreme situations?

i.e. I may want to tie JC up and beat him with hotwheels tracks, but I want to do so because I hate him and everything he represents so thouroughly that I would be degrading myself by having the relationship...?

― kate, Sunday, 12 January 2003 12:37 (twenty-three years ago)

~"The only problem is that only the dominants are going to have the *nerve* to post to a thead like this, so we'll never find our dream partners here..."~

I'm certainly not a dominant, and I'll post 'bout it!

Although I wouldn't say I'm exactly "submissive" either...I'm known to go both ways depending on what will get my partner's r0x off better...but I guess that would mean, by aiming more for the what-she's-looking-for than the what-I'm-looking-for, that would make me a submissive...even when I'm taking the "dominant" role in our sexperiences...does this make a lick of sense?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 12 January 2003 16:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I suppose that would make me an emotional-submissive and a blank-slate as regards my in-the-sack-ness?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 12 January 2003 16:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I never liked ther phrase "in the sack." It reminds me of vegetables.

Some people have set patterns of being a doormat

The funny thing is, in my experience, some of the "doormats" actually are doing all of the controlling after all, via their doormattedness. Think about it - why are Pisceans described as being so manipulative, like Kurt.

― Vic (Vic), Sunday, 12 January 2003 17:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I've been with girls who liked the kind of thing Sorry describes, and it turned me on tremendously to do it. But I can only manage to be so dominant when I'm not too close to the person. Otherwise, I spoil the effect by constantly asking if they're all right. When people have got me to tie them up, I've sometimes felt that I'm at their mercy. The whole action becomes my responsibility.

Once, when I lived in a shared flat, there was this great situation going on, where one of my flatmates used to creep into my room while I was asleep, for instance, and wake me up with a blowjob, and leave afterwards with no words spoken. Or we'd be watching TV in the livingroom, and she'd take my hand and put it up her skirt. It was all very cold, and weeks would go by before something would happen again. Anyway, one time she asked me to rape her. Not at that moment - I was supposed to surprise her one night. But there was no way I could do it. For one thing, I wasn't sure I could act it out properly. For another, I didn't even really know her, and I had horrible visions of the other flatmates being woken up, coming through to see what would like a sexual assault, and then her suddenly shouting "Help". So, yes, I draw the line at rape.

― hopefully logged out, Sunday, 12 January 2003 18:04 (twenty-three years ago)

But I can only manage to be so dominant when I'm not too close to the person.

OTM. after that point, it's sub all the way for me

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 13 January 2003 00:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Dom, usually, but more on a playacting than "rough" level.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 13 January 2003 01:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Dominant, in and out of the sack. And a sadist to boot. I like having things my way.

― LCD (Ms Laura), Monday, 13 January 2003 07:32 (twenty-three years ago)

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