talking dirty in bed: sexy or corny?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

kinda hot unless its all ritualized like that scene at the end of "carnal knowledge" with jack nicholson & rita moreno

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:43 (twenty-three years ago)

With nine out of ten boys, total fucking dud.

― kate, Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:51 (twenty-three years ago)

with nine out of ten girls, total fucking dud.

― michael wells (michael w.), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic if it's done *properly*, natch; the only probalem is that not many people can.

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah a gangbang that big can be a bit noisy.

― , Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:55 (twenty-three years ago)

can't be that dirty - if yuv washed da 'flakes offa yer teeth

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:55 (twenty-three years ago)

yes but that one-out-of-ten non-dud dirty-talker
rowr

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 11 January 2003 21:55 (twenty-three years ago)

oh i long for the day when i meet someone who isn't embarassed to talk dirty and this thread is reminding me of my favourite poison song.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:49 (twenty-three years ago)

somebody say something dirty

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:50 (twenty-three years ago)

shit.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:52 (twenty-three years ago)

You're not very good at this di!

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:52 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah where is queen g?

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 11 January 2003 22:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Any time a boy asks me to talk dirty, and they seem to want the sort of "Oh yeah, you stallion, fuck me harder with your amazing donkey dick, oh my god, oh my god, fuck me, studmuffin, fuck me!" crap that abounds on shite porn tapes, I cannot do it. I crack up laughing if I even try.

Cracking up during sex, however (so long as your parter isn't laughing at *you* but at the sheer ridiculousness of the sex act) is a total classic.

― kate, Saturday, 11 January 2003 23:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Cracking up during sex, however (so long as your parter isn't laughing at *you* but at the sheer ridiculousness of the sex act) is a total classic.

Yes, but it's easy to give the wrong impression

― gabbneb, Saturday, 11 January 2003 23:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Depends on how well you know the person. Wouldn't reccommend it early in the relationship or with one night stands...

― kate, Saturday, 11 January 2003 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)

imitating Barry White can be fun/ny; laughing during sex (though not during the entirety of it) is a wonderful thing. I've found that a "when I saw you in [location] today and you were wearing [outfit] I wanted to [completely honest but dirty-as-possible activity that you're hopefully already doing]" kind of statement generally works pretty well.

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 11 January 2003 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I must admit I am puzzled as to what "talking dirty" is.

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Sunday, 12 January 2003 00:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Depends. If the dirty talk is this monotonic cuss-by-numbers stream, then it's the biggest dud. If it's occasional eruptions accompanied with shouts of bliss, and a sense of wanting to hold back a maelstrom of it.. classic.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 12 January 2003 00:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Steve Reich's vs. Screamin' Jay Hawkins' pillow talk -- taking sides.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 January 2003 01:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I am particularly fond of talking about peat moss

― gabbneb, Sunday, 12 January 2003 01:14 (twenty-three years ago)

i like dirty talk, but one iwth adj.s and adverbs, whole senteces. i once fucked a man who used to recite classical poetry.

― anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, 12 January 2003 01:27 (twenty-three years ago)

99% of the time...totally forced dud.

But that 1%, especially when both you and he/she/it have a healthy sense of humor and whatnot...DA BEST!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 12 January 2003 16:19 (twenty-three years ago)

this thread is for me.

a. you guys are 100% right, dirty talk is the shit when you have someone who can do it right. the best is when either you or your partner blurts something totally unexpected out due to forces beyond yer control. i'm also a big fan of girls that make up their mind they need something badly and have no bones about telling me exactly what it is they need NOW. alot of gals can be very shy about things like that.

b. i, very recently (like last week) met a girl - and she was a laugher! it would start with this giant grin and turn into uncontrollable giggling at the peak. i asked her what was up with that and she said it was a sensory "system overload" thing. in retrospect i'm surprised i didn't take it the wrong way. anyhow - classic.

― dyson (dyson), Sunday, 12 January 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

there is no way any boy with any sense/
experience wants that stuff
about a donkey's dick/fuck me harder/soft porn stuff.
heard it before. and it's bollocks/sounds like bollocks.
in the crap movies and in real life.
generally what u want is *creative* dirt. stuff you *haven't*
heard before. that's the stuff.
only ever done it over the phone personally,
couldn't imagine doing it while...actually about to have sex.
what's the point ?

also - what *tense* should it be in ?
'i'm gonna..' etc. future
'i'm thinking about..' etc. - present
or some weird past tense thing like
'mmmm yesterday i was just eating ma weetabix when...' ??!

― piscesboy, Sunday, 12 January 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh, thanks for bringing back a nice memory for me: having sex with a woman who was simultaneously talking dirty on the phone to someone else, having phone sex with him. That was fun, though not something I'd fancy on a regular basis.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 12 January 2003 23:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic. Scenario type roleplay in particular.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 13 January 2003 01:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't cope with dirty talk at all. It feels so wrong. Just one of the things porn has ruined for me, I suppose.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 13 January 2003 01:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I like the way piscesboy's post is in verse. It really works.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Monday, 13 January 2003 02:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Steve Reich's vs. Screamin' Jay Hawkins' pillow talk -- taking sides.

I'll take Music for 18 musicians over Constipation Blues anyday.

― brg30 (brg30), Monday, 13 January 2003 02:36 (twenty-three years ago)

As in...

"Doctor I have this itch"...?

― jm (jtm), Monday, 13 January 2003 05:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Steve Reich's vs. Screamin' Jay Hawkins' pillow talk -- taking sides.

What exactly is Steve Reich's pillow talk? As we said in college, "bad imagery."

I like Sei Shonagon's pillow talk tho.

― gabbneb, Monday, 13 January 2003 05:30 (twenty-three years ago)

the "oh fuck me you stallion" type of dirty talk is really tired. I think that would turn me off pretty heavily. Some people, though, just seem to have things come out of their mouths that you would never expect or hear them say normally, that can be a turn-on when it is obviously more involuntary and not contrived. Overall, though, I don't think it is something that can be effectively done consciously.

― webcrack (music=crack), Monday, 13 January 2003 06:28 (twenty-three years ago)

It's one of the things porn helped for me.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 13 January 2003 07:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Surrender Dorothy!!!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 13 January 2003 07:21 (twenty-three years ago)

There's a fine line between talking dirty and asking for what you want/need. The later is totally hot and makes the romp so_much_better. While pretending your audtioning for he latest Ron Jeremy Film is ZZZZ.

― brg30 (brg30), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:11 (twenty-three years ago)

There's a fine line between talking dirty and asking for what you want/need.

Touch my bum! This is life!

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:16 (twenty-three years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.