Tracks of My Tears

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I cried on Monday night because I couldn't cope with the onset of *another* kidney infection. It was so painful and I felt helpless and frustrated. Last week I cried at work (silently and unnoticed) because my job puts me under so much pressure I sometimes feel like I can't breathe.

When was the last time you cried?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 11:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I've done nothing but cry for the last 2 months, I'm such a wummin, but things are lookin up so I'm a tear free zone, for now!

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 11:22 (twenty-three years ago)

What had you blubbing?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 11:25 (twenty-three years ago)

driving home on sunday morning with the hungover feeling only just lifting so that it didn't feel like I only had a hangover, listening to 'the hounds of love.'

:' (

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 11:27 (twenty-three years ago)

My eyes just filled up again.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 11:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Lara, you really don't wanna know what had me blubbing but it was a k stressful, scary, disturbing and lonely time, which is now thankfully over (fingers crossed).

Hope you feel better soon.

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 11:47 (twenty-three years ago)

To be honest I quite enjoy crying. As long as I'm alone. And the right songs are to hand.

Today I'm just feeling a bit *small* as I'm back at work and feeling sicky.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 11:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I cried my eyes out watching New Year happen in Sydney on the telly. I was on my own, it was 1pm, I wasn't particularly unhappy. It was the fireworks that made me blubber, not the slightly naff "peace" thing on the bridge.

I *almost* cried talking to my friend Christian the other day, as he happened to call just as I was feeling like a stress bubble about to burst. I seem to have relaxed a little since then, but I wouldn't put it past me in the next week or two.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Fireworks always make me cry. Nick and I saw some mini ones on a beach in Goa and I wept like a child.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 14:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Last time I cried proper was after the third night running that I'd be kept awake by the guy the in the flat below snoring. The lack of sleep, the frustration and the anger all came together in one moist mess.

Apart from that I tend to well up at the emotional bits in films, even the most schmaltzy film can do it. I watched Armageddon the other night and, to my shame, had to wipe away a tear at the end. The KitKat advert with the upsidedown tortoise has the same effect.

― Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wow I can't honestly remember. I've not cried for quite a while.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought of the time I caught some kids making fun of the way my sister ran when I was younger. She had cancer as a kid and it was on her spine. When they did surgery they damaged nerves and it messed up on eof her legs pretty bad. I remember her trying so hard to run with all her might when she was younger and these neighborhood fuckers mocked and laughed at her. Needless to say I fucked em up pretty good. I thought of it one day at random and it made me cry.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

oh yeah, i forgot that I cried when I saw my wife come down the aisle at our wedding.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Answering this would upset someone I don't want to.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

The last time I cried was over this girl. I cried a river over her.

She drowned. The end.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know if it was the last time, but I cried on Monday night watching the repeat of Without Prejudice, where they chose to give £50000 to an (embarrassed) well-off businessman rather than a struggling working class woman.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't watch Wife Swap last night for fear that it would send me into helpless, despairing doldrums again. The nasty, voyeuristic element of 'reality' TV gets me down.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:12 (twenty-three years ago)

last night's prog didn't make me want to cry at all except when the working woman said the bouncer never pulled the plug out after he had had a bath.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I am emo-boy and cry very easily -- last time I cried was on Sunday morning while thinking about how much time I'll be spending away from home during the next month. I know, I know, poor me I get to go on tour, but I love my wife & hate being apart from her.

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Saturday and Sunday I believe - I don't think there's been anything since then.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I am shocked by the number of ILE blubbers there are.

Maybe I needn't feel so *precious* about it?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Hmmm, I definetely haven't cried this century. Probably, 1996 when my dog died :(

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon Lara.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Saturday = full on despairing WEEP complete with panicked ohnocantbreatheisms, Sunday more a weeping at bad situation that I don't know how to make better in sympathy...

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I ordered Leonard Cohen album off CD Wow last week. What terrific timing, eh?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

if it's 'death of a ladies' man'--------yes.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Spot on Mr G.

True Love Leaves No Traces
Iodine
Paper Thin Motel
Memories
I Left A Woman Waiting
Don't Go Home With Your Hard-On
Fingerprints
Death Of A Ladies' Man

I already have it on vinyl but suddenly had the urge to listen to it alone in my room (record player in communal area). Could my subconscious have led me to my panacea?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)

I make me laugh

: )

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Ow, kidney infection, poor you Lara.

I last cried around two weeks ago after one of those dark, oppressive dreams. I woke up with a wet pillow and had to switch the light on and read for a while.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 15:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I got teary watching the Golden Gilrs this weekend. It was the final episode.

I cried lots and lots last week, as I was feeling extremely bad.

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 16:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I cry every few days, nothing seriously lately, it's just my frustration response. Doesn't take much to get me going. I hope your infection gets better soon.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 16:07 (twenty-three years ago)

About half an hour ago.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 16:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh dear. Ok now?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe a few weeks ago, I forget. Probably after fighting with parents. I tend to get ragingly angry rather than cry, I often break things in rage but it is always funny in hindsight.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

More crying here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

ILE is a vale of tears.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 16:56 (twenty-three years ago)

So when we put our heads in our hands and shiver with despair - we're not alone.

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Only if we are all crying for the same thing.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Haribo?

― Lara (Lara), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:12 (twenty-three years ago)

*sobs*

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Something deeply horrible happened to a friend just before Christmas and I cried when I heard about it.

― James Ball (James Ball), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't remember. This is disappointing. In fact, it may have been listening to the Pines on the bus a couple of days ago. Yes, probably. M.G.M.

― Ally C (Ally C), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:32 (twenty-three years ago)

i separated from my lover of seven years on new year's day and i didn't cry. i broke the news to all our friends here and i didn't cry. then the other day i talked to a faraway friend long-distance and it all came out.

― cameron, Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Out of the last four times two were I think caused by listening to The Pines.

The most recent occasion was holding Tina (old friend/cat) on my lap & stroking her as the vet put her to sleep.

(The memory of which is starting a tingle around the eye area as I type.)

― Mooro (Mooro), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think I've cried in a long time (possibly since this thread, but I can't help thinking there's something more recent). This is a little surprising.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Monday afternoon, as I watched some sappy movie. Really, it doesn't take much to make me cry...

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 17:53 (twenty-three years ago)

I am getting tearful reading this thread.

― Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Not since coming to ILX, I think!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 22 January 2003 20:27 (twenty-three years ago)

last night, in bed alone. Loneliness(the usual).

― spectra, Thursday, 23 January 2003 01:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I cried at my friend's memorial service last month. I have never cried so much in my whole life, and I hope never to cry that much again.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 23 January 2003 06:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Oops, thread killer.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Never! The Man with the Child in his Eyes just set me off again. I was crying at my desk at work this evening when a friend sent me the kindest, unexpected email. i had to scamper off before someone saw me.

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 24 January 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 8 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

the panic street breachers?

that thought just made me shed a tear.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 26 January 2003 01:29 (twenty-three years ago)

The Stylistics' Stop, Look, Listen just made my eyes twinkle even though I made it through You'll Never Get To Heaven unscathed.

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 26 January 2003 17:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I think it was at the last Toronto FAP.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Sunday, 26 January 2003 17:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Canadians make me cry too!

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 26 January 2003 17:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I should say, as I possibly did on one of the other crying threads, that crying in films and to records is rarely more than the odd tear on the cheek.

Choking tears are rare and only happens in response to personal life horrors.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 26 January 2003 18:36 (twenty-three years ago)

And tear gas.

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 26 January 2003 18:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, well the two usually go hand in hand.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 26 January 2003 18:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Your life is one great Haribo moment, waiting to happen.

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 26 January 2003 18:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Children and Grown Ups couldn't love it less / the oppressive world of CS gas!

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 26 January 2003 18:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Kids and Grown Ups: "Hip hip hooray!"

"Bring on more of that pepper spray!"

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 26 January 2003 19:13 (twenty-three years ago)

i just realised i lied. i cried about three weeks ago, in someones kitchen, at their party. it was horrible.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 26 January 2003 23:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I just looked at my running total on eBay.Made me weep,for sure.

― Eugene Speed (Eugene Speed), Sunday, 26 January 2003 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

almost anything to do with animals and I cry like a baby. A month ago there was a white deer (very rare) around my grandma's, and the little kids nicknamed it 'Casper'. Anyways, one morning it was found dead on the road, shot and left to die. Even this stupid Natrel milk ad that uses a piece by Chopin...but the tears are not so much of sadness/cruelty but more to do with a sense of nostalgia.

― Genevieve, Monday, 27 January 2003 00:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I cried on Friday because I felt like a failure who has wasted her life. Also I cut my finger to the bone and it was quite painful, it just made me more emotional than I would have been otherwise.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 27 January 2003 00:11 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

I was feeling guilty earlier because I have played truant from work *twice* this week. I was on Grafton Street and some musical type was playing Con Te Partiro on panpipes and my eyes went all glassy.

I spent most of Saturday weeping like a child as I was at a wedding and it was all so lovely *sobs*.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 20 March 2003 18:43 (twenty-three years ago)

When was the last time you cried?

I was just talking about this with Jess. I'm very emotional, but for some reason I physically cannot cry unless I'm pushed past the breaking point and I absolutely need to let it all out. I can't remember the last time I cried.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 20 March 2003 18:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Sometimes when I am very upset I have difficulty crying. High voltage emotion paralyses me too. I'm just lucky, I suppose, that this doesn't happen very often. Music and beautiful singing voices trigger tears in me more than anything else.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 20 March 2003 18:53 (twenty-three years ago)

I went to my Grandfather's funeral on Friday and I didn't even come close to crying. I guess I overintellectualized the whole thing, which really fucking sucks. My Dad cried like a baby and it was my Mom's father.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 31 March 2003 14:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I always cry at funerals. Even pet funerals on telly. I am a complete sap.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 31 March 2003 14:08 (twenty-three years ago)

You're lucky.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 31 March 2003 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Me too, Lara. I cry just thinking about the damn things. "Harold and Maude" just about killed me. And I can't watch Animal Planet ever, 'cause I just lose it on almost all the shows, even the funniest pet videos ones (because I feel sorry for all of the pets that are being poked fun of, and want to adopt them all and - well, you get it).

Bryan, I am sorry for your loss and for everything. Shit, I never know what to say at these times. Just know that I'm sending you some warm, Floridian thoughts.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Thank you. He was gone a long time ago (and was never coming back - Alzheimer's), really, which I guess is part of the reason why I found it hard to get too emotional. It did make sense that we had a freak late March snowstorm for the internment.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Bryan - I do think it's easier to let go if they're already gone (er I phrased that oddly. Sorry). Somehow the grieving is worked through as they receed, rather than it being a sudden shock. But it still sucks, to have to say goodbye to someone.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I got to have a decent talk with him shortly before he "lost it", so I'm ok. According to my mom he was a bastard anyway! You're very sweet, Laura.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Bryan.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks, Sundar. You have a very good b'day present coming.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:23 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

I am completely disgusted with myself. I'm going through what has to be the worst time of my life right now (self-inflicted, for the most part), I have emotions of all sorts flowing through me in torrents, and I can't cry to save my life. The last time I had a really good pounding your head against hard objects and crying out "JESUS, OH JESUS" cry was 9 years ago. What the hell is the matter with me? And why am I asking a bunch of strangers (for the most part) to help me with this? New answers please.

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't cried often since i was, say, 14. I don't know how crying really helps to solve things.

sorry you're going through a tough time. hope you get out of that soon.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:13 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, i really only cry at music these days, the two latest have been cat power- color and the kids
flaming lips- waiting for a superman (multiple times)

― todd swiss (eliti), Sunday, 8 June 2003 22:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think crying solves anything - that's not what I want. I just feel like I have a lot bottled up and I can't let it out. Frustrating.

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 23:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm the opposite, lately I cry at the drop of a hat and have been having some rather down moments. I'm fed up with it. Just yesterday I had a small quiet teary session when I thought about a certain situation involving a person I thought really cared about me, and his friends, and a certain other person I wont mention, out clubbing together last night, all loved up and cuddling and spending today all together coming down... and me alone here with only the TV and my cat for company, my so-called good friend no longer even able to bring himself to bother saying more than two words to me.

I refuse to let this get to me anymore grr.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 8 June 2003 23:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm all teary - have been so all day. And it's all 'cause I went off the pill and have quickly become lil' miss psycho.

Just sad and mopey and pathetic and fretful - no real reason, just feeling blecky and beige and wanting to pick arguments.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 9 June 2003 01:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Ive been a k-lot worse since being off the pill too. This worries me. The PMT I had this last month was horrendous. I was bitchy and agry and emotional like I haven't been in a long time. Being unable to control it, and knowing you're in that mood for NO DAMN REASON is horrible because a lot of people (guys esp.) just Dont Get It.

Wether to go back on the pill to avoid this or not I'm not sure though.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 9 June 2003 05:57 (twenty-three years ago)

cried a few times while watching "the searchers" on friday night.

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 9 June 2003 06:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I am still weepy today - so it is definitely hormonal. And I originally went on the pill to help regulate the psychosis of PMS and to get on a regular schedule. But I can't think of that, as there'll be no pill in my future.

So I am trying to remind myself that it's just hormones and chemicals and that, really, the boys aren't intent on hurting my feelings/thinking I am an idiot/hoping that I'll fail and that my dogs do love me, even if they'd rather play tug-of-war with the frisbee and that my rat has always been pissy about being petted and that she really isn't taking out her anger just on me.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 9 June 2003 17:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry to hear that, Bryan. I hope things work out for you. You're welcome to email if you want to and it doesn't feel weird.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Monday, 9 June 2003 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Laura, as far I've heard, PMS seems to be the one thing resistant to calm reflection. Hopefully, this hormonal swing you're in will pass in short order.

(If not, give me a call if/when you want and I'll try to assist.)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:01 (twenty-three years ago)

*laughing* Thanks, Nichole - I think it's just my body being in shock over losing all of that regular estrogen - I'm sure it'll settle out at some point, right? (Hint: At this point the correct answer is "But of course! And really soon, I'm certain.")

Actually, I am okay so long as I don't think about anything. That isn't a great way to spend the day, though, so I'm going to take all of this negative energy and turn it into something disgustingly positive by washing my floors and scrubbing one of the bathrooms.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm really sorry to hear you're upset Brian. I don't want to sound trite but I have more bad news - the package I sent to you was returned to me yesterday. Have you moved?

I still haven't received my Good Host but at this stage it could only have gotten as far as Newfoundland, right?!

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 9 June 2003 20:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I cried last night when watching the Morrissey documentary. They were warm, friendly tears and they told me a story I'd long forgotten.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 9 June 2003 21:02 (twenty-three years ago)

I have not moved. I haven't received your package back yet; should get to you soon, I would think. Sorry for the delay.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:01 (twenty-three years ago)

This has twice reduced me not just to tears but to utter helplessness & rage at God. WARNING PLEASE READ BEFORE CLICKING: it's about death, and the person who died is named Bryan even with a "y," so, um, Bryan-on-this-thread, you can't say I didn't warn you :)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:08 (twenty-three years ago)

1) yes, it's corny 2) I don't care

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:09 (twenty-three years ago)

It's not corny, it's sweet and sad. It also won't make me cry. It was a good try though, J0hn.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:12 (twenty-three years ago)

If I read it in full right now I'd probably cry. Skimmed enough to start getting choked up. I hate mortality's many forms.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:57 (twenty-three years ago)

don't worry Bryan - I'll send the parcel off again. If nothing the anticipation will keep you wondering everytime you see the postman tripping up the driveway!

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 20:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Ok! I sure hope the beef jerky I sent you is still good...

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 20:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha! I'll be able to smell the parcel when it's still a couple of days away!

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 20:43 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

I'm going to cry if I think anything more about my finances (savings down 50% from a year ago, only two days of work so far this year) or my body image (rooted in objective, quantifiable issues with my appearance). And so for distraction that leaves me...?

― phlegm brûlée (j.lu), Monday, 2 February 2009 01:17 (seventeen years ago)

Still haven't cried. I sure hope whoever stole the package of stuff I sent Lara enjoyed it.

― Bryan, Monday, 2 February 2009 06:29 (seventeen years ago)

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