Drunks

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Waking up the whole building. Repeating themselves endlessly for hours. Screaming down the phone to people in different time zones. Fighting walls, radiators, neighbours, cops. Sleep is not an option, they have to outdo crying babies in endurance. Going one minute without getting any attention is worse than death for them.
Then, even worse, they get all sentimental. They've had the hardest life imaginable. Nobody feels as lonely and abandoned as they. They don't understand why their girlfriends left them or why they keep losing their jobs, or why their parents didn't understand them. They just...sniff, whine...need somebody to help them...ah fuggit...
They're fucking useless. Every day they fail to turn up for something, or are incapable as a result of massive hangovers, which reduce them to moping about sweeping up broken plates and professing simpering, apologetic plans to 'get their head sorted out', as apparently they're going through a bad patch right now, because of all the stress and pressure they're under. Some of which doubtless due to those cruel, heartless people around them who keep demanding compensation for broken furniture, and keep hassling and nagging them to clean up their vomit and go to work one of these weeks. WHy can't people just leave them alone to watch TV in a hungover state?
What do people see in this idiocy? Does anybody in England do anything else except drink themselves into a stupor? Doesn't it get tiresome having to put up with people being incompetent due to hangovers?
Anyway, I stopped drinking 2 years ago, so I just want to take a moment to be (hypocritically) self-righteous about these self-pitying, snivelling, moronic, weak, worthless fucks. (Moving out of the hell flat this week. Pardon my grouchiness, I was kept up all night by various contretemps)

― dave q, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Pete, can't you kick Keith out of your flat and give Dave Q a room? I think he'd like it.

― Tom, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes drinkings a disgusting habit, we should all be off popping e's, that way theres no hangovers and Paul Oakenfold sounds as good as the Stanton Warriors or Jon Carter.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nah, keep the drinking *and* the E's. Of course people who can't handle a drink = dud, unless you are that person and consequently give a shit.

― Omar, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

2 problems ronan,

1) i usually end up with a hangover in the end anyway as well
2) oakenfold still sounds shit (not that i'm ever anywhere where he is being played but...)

― gareth, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what about all us hardworking drunks who stagger to work even with a raging hangover?? haven't we earned the right to a few shandies after spending all day slaving away over a hot workstation???? Right, i'm off to the pub...

― carsmilesteve, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

steve is right, testify steve

― Ronan, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bunch of alcoholic lamers. Sober up, why don't you.

Jane noted with wry glee after Trig Brother that I could get 'pretty wide when I wanted to' -- quite true. But generally I prefer to watch other follies than get lost in my own. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wish alcohol didnt exist, but then I guess people would just use animal nitrate.

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 28 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Listen, if you don't like it, you should just put in some earplugs and be thankful you don't live in my building, where the following has all occurred drunkenly:

1) I have vomited in the hallway and down the stairwell

2) My roommate has hurled dead flower petals all over the stairwell, screaming "It's just like American Beauty!"

3) Otis has hurled mussel shells off my roof at passing cars

4) We have broken into the building next door on several occasions

5) I have passed out in my upstairs neighbor's hallway

6) far too many "falling down stairs laughing" incidents to count

7) Multiple late parties, the most infamous including me apparently breaking into hysterical tears and then screaming at everyone and anyone possible.

I mean, come on now. That's unreasonable behavior. And don't get me started on people vomiting on my bed, good god.

― Ally, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is singing Suedehead at high volume unreasonable behaviour when drunk? I only ask cos I am afeared that Katie and I might have finally driven our neighbours to an early and horrible grave.

katie: after half a litre of sherry! a- hahahahaahahahahahahaa!!!!!

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm glad I dont live in Ally's hell building

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I have not been drinking sherry, unlike my street drinker of a flatmate. My tipple of choice for the evening has been gin, a far more refined and sophisticated drink as I'm sure you will agree.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mike, my building is made up of my coworkers and crackheads we couldn't buy out who are paying $70 per month. And when I say crackheads, I mean literal crackheads. One guy kept breaking the front door lock so he wouldn't have to go downstairs to let his boyfriends in when the door was busted. Homeless men used to sleep in our lobby. Stephanie going to a neighbors and throwing their table over is the least of the problems.

Don't you wish you lived here now???

― Ally, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

At least you dont beat c ats

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, I love my cat.

― Ally, Thursday, 30 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fifteen years pass...

Imagine handing the keys to a school bus to this guy? WTF Renfrewshire Council??!?!

Bus driver sacked for being drunk on school run

― Bottlerockey (Tom D.), Saturday, 17 September 2016 11:17 (nine years ago)

contract will be run by a private company that presumably tendered the lowest bid for the job = this is what you get

― you can't drowned a duck (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 September 2016 11:31 (nine years ago)

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