Shopper's Paradise

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If you owned a shop, what would you sell? And what would it be called?

I'd open an underwear shop called "Knickers With Attitude" and then get Dr Dre to open it, just to reinforce the crappy pun even further.

Okay, so that was a contrived answer, but serious responses are also welcome.....

― Trevor, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I do own a shop (sort of) and it is called Top Shop because it is Top. Pete runs a shop selling sweeties and things.

― Emma, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That Knickers with Attitude pun reminded me of something. I was in Prague on holiday, as I keep mentioning, and over there Feast Ice Creams are called..............Noggers. Yes Noggers.....that's absolute gold as far as I'm concerned, from a comic point of view.

― Ronan, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I fail to see the amusement value in Noggers. Sounding like a rude word is funny, sounding like an offensive racial slur isn't.

Yes, as the ILE massive will know I run a bar. I also run two shops. One is your bog standard stationery shop, and one is a slowly slowly cathee monkey sandwich, confectionery, tobbaconists. None of the shops have proper names beyond SOAS Bar, SOAS Shop and SOAS Snack Bar. I like it that way.

I cringe everytime I see Austin Flowers (the florist) on the number 10 bus route.

― Pete, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't think its an offensive racial slur when placed in the context of song titles performed by those who it is supposedly offensive to. I like that logic and I trust you will too.

― Ronan, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If I spell it Nogga' is that better? Or inversely if I laugh at the fact that it clearly, and unexplainably is similar to the word is that worse?

― Ronan, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i laughed at "noggers" becuase, in a ludicrous benny hill-type way, it reminded me of "knockers" which in turn reminded me of the Monty Python "Semprini" sketch. sorry to be so slow catching on...

my ideal shop would be a huge vegan emporium with all manner of chocolate soya milk, chocolate, and funky non-leather shoes. i would be happy to be paid in vegan goodies. mmmm...

― katie, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, before this thread descends into madness -- I *could* run a CD store, except I'd want people to hear the music and therefore would just make them copies. No profit, so oops.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i like ned.

― katie, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've always wanted to open a water shop. It would sell mineral water from all over the world, fish tanks, scuba diving gear, umbrellas, swimming pools...anything to do with water. The shop would have a glass floor, and fish would swim underneath it. I even have a trendy name for it: "H2O". I hear there is actually a water shop in San Francisco, but this is unconfirmed.

― jel, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

now *that's* a shop I'd like to work in.

I would love to open a trendy deli though, with seating and people playing records in the back.

― cabbage, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd sell Personal Advice to Idiots. They'd have to be idiots to take me up on my offer obviously

― Ronan, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Just thinking about a water shop makes me need to piss. It is a terrible idea.

― Emma, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Clearly they'd also have to have a monopoly on the 5p public toilets then.

― Ronan, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Which reminds me that the public toilets in France were bemusing. As was making change at Gare du Nord to even use one in the first place.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My shop would be called, "The Marianna Way" which would be opened after my book called, "The Marianna Way" came out.

― marianna, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Public Toilets autolock and clean themselves every 30 minutes if they haven't been used. Once me and 6 friends used one and we had been camping so it was a nicer prospect than normal, anyway we only paid once and we were all ready to go and some farmer guy came up (this is Ireland afterall, in the country) so we held the door open for him. Sat on a bench and watched him come out covered in water and paper and swearing profusely, possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen

― Ronan, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

to have a lot of small corners and little niches and to be filled to the rafters with books, clothes, art, furniture and sort og junk . I want people to view it as an adventure

― anthony, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A hardware store.

― Kris, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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