fictional characters who were clearly virgins

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what it says in the title

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:43 (twenty-three years ago)

bilbo&gollum (i am agnostic abt frodo)

sherlock holmes

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Mark no hobbits anywhere EVER had sex.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:46 (twenty-three years ago)

*smacks Mark upside the head* There are so many families in the Shire I'm surprised hobbit babies didn't overrun the damn place. And Sam sure loved his Rosie...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:50 (twenty-three years ago)

frodo's mum and dad were having sex in the boat when it overturned and drown(d)ed them, that's why frodo wz brought up by bilbo!!

[xx] took and melilot brandybuck dance the springle ring at bilbo's farewell party, a hot and furry fertility dance

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:51 (twenty-three years ago)

hobbits like food, drink, gardens and family trees: you do the math!!

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Ew.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:56 (twenty-three years ago)

anyway we are off the point now grrr

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 00:56 (twenty-three years ago)

New point: I was about to go to bed and now you've made me think about Gollum sex and I am traumatised. I mean, ew, you just know he'd refer to his penis as his precious too.

(I bet there are men out there that do - runs screaming from thought)

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Hamlet.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:03 (twenty-three years ago)

thank you dom

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Mary. And John the Baptist freak.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Not to mention Dolores Haze.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:09 (twenty-three years ago)

And the guy from Brighton Rock.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Raskalnikov also, I shouldn't wonder.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Lizzy Bennett.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Shit, Dolores wasn't. She did it with some kid in camp, I reckon.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:12 (twenty-three years ago)

lolita is dolores haze's daughter!! or was that the angel gabriel and ear-work also (it wz you that explained this to us!!)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Tiny Tim and Little Nell (although the age of consent in 19th-century England was pretty low...)

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:14 (twenty-three years ago)

As Dolores Haze is married at the end of the book, I'd presume she wasn't a virgin.

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Dr. Octopus

The Joker

Luke Skywalker

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:19 (twenty-three years ago)

The Fonz.

― estela, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:19 (twenty-three years ago)

hobbit babies

Okay, is anyone else getting visions of an utterly twee new animated series?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:24 (twenty-three years ago)

The Muppet/hobbit babies crossover would clearly be a WMD.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:26 (twenty-three years ago)

pretty much everyone in Winnie-the-Pooh

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:30 (twenty-three years ago)

As Dolores Haze is married at the end of the book, I'd presume she wasn't a virgin.

Maybe, but she's dead at the beginning. She were a virgin then.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Smurfette. Despite what those naughty lads in Donnie Darko would have you believe.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Nick Carraway (narrator of Great Gatsby) (he might be gaY)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Henry Miller hwar har, I bet he just laid on top of those whores and cried.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:51 (twenty-three years ago)

mary was SOOOO not a virgin.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:52 (twenty-three years ago)

and she was nonfictional!! ditto John the Baptist (though judging by Salome he was a RAGING virgin)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 01:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Does it need to be said...Holden Caulfield?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i think we all know what Superman got up to in the Fortress of Solitude.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:06 (twenty-three years ago)

and she was nonfictional!! ditto John the Baptist (though judging by Salome he was a RAGING virgin)

Mary gets her name (nearly) from someone who was arguably nonfictional, but apart from that (and the way her son's behaviour bugged her) everything else about the character is fiction. John the Baptist probably less fictional until Salome stuff, which is mostly made up and basis of virginity allegation, as you say.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:22 (twenty-three years ago)

i.e. the made up Mary is virgin. The other one, as di says, was far from it.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Becky Lucas

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:29 (twenty-three years ago)

And even the fictional one didn't stay a virgin until people decided so afterwards, which is like the folks who say Huck Finn was black.

Mary, that is. Not BL.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Didn't Lolita/Dolores Haze die in childbirth?

― rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Harry Caul

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 02:57 (twenty-three years ago)

The Warner Brothers and their Sister, Dot
Henry Higgins
Ebeneezer Scrooge
Ignatius J. Reilly
Ichabod Crane

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Judith Herne

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:35 (twenty-three years ago)

ebeneezer goode.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Pretty much every character in the works of the great Russian authors were clearly virgins.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Wendy from Peter Pan (though I think she would like to have not been a virgin)
Mary Poppins
Amelia Bedelia
Bob from Sesame Street

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:45 (twenty-three years ago)

did NO ONE find the "pretty much everyone" in matos' post disturbing??

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:46 (twenty-three years ago)

eeyore was gettin' some every which way

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Lily Bart, maybe?

Would you imagine most of the imprisoned-by-their-social-class heroines of the turn of the century were virgins (the ones that didn't end up in loveless marriages, that is)?

― Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 03:58 (twenty-three years ago)

OBVIOUSLY SOME OF WINNIE THE POOH WERE WHORES COS THE KANGAROO HAD A BABY KANGAROO. Duh, hello.

But the Rabbit is definitely not getting any, that thing could use a good schtucking cos it's in a permanently awful mood.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 04:00 (twenty-three years ago)

pooh sticks.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 04:01 (twenty-three years ago)

ally in mother-whore complex shocker

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 04:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Stencil in V., Pointsman in Gravity's Rainbow. (Finding virgins in Pynchon is HARD WORK)

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 04:15 (twenty-three years ago)

i truly belive that watson and sherlock were involved in a long term realtionship.

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 04:27 (twenty-three years ago)

But Wendy had a daughter! At least she did in the musical.

― rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 04:32 (twenty-three years ago)

KITT

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 05:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't make me post links to Knight Rider slash.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 05:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Basil Brush.

Hercules Poirot.

― estela, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 05:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Beauty. And the Beast.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 05:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Watson was married 3 times, I think. Or at least twice.

Eliza Bennet may well have had sex before marriage, but not Jane. Or Mary.

Miss Marple. Tintin. The Clergyman's Daughter(?) Anne Shirley. Beth. Little Nell...children are too easy.

― isadora (isadora), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 05:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm so guessing Àntonia had been around the block.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 05:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Uncle Quentin from The Famous Five. George was probably brought about by a top secret experiment.

Also Zarasthustra.

― estela, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 05:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Aunt Dante from Portrait of an Artist as a young man.
Lily Briscoe from To The Lighthouse.

Pointsman in Gravity's Rainbow. (Finding virgins in Pynchon is HARD WORK)

Didn't he get a BJ from someone at the Xmas party?
Was the kid with Ursula the lemming whoring himself to anyone?
Sir Stephen Dodson-Truck?

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 08:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Rorshach

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 10:21 (twenty-three years ago)

But Wendy had a daughter! At least she did in the musical.

And the book.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 10:26 (twenty-three years ago)

greg kitten

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 11:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Uncle Andrew.

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 11:14 (twenty-three years ago)

haha Charles Highway

― Sam (chirombo), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 11:15 (twenty-three years ago)

David Copperfield.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 11:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Fiordiligi in "Orlando Furioso". Her love Brandimart was killed when facing the three African Kings with Orlando and Oliver, and they hadn't got round to getting married.

Most of the maidens in the book were pure of virtue, although there are a number of passages saying things like "then did chaste, noble Bradamant pleasure her Ruggiero in all the ways possible while retaining her purity". Do they have to be oral virgins?

(disturbing flashback to Winnie the Pooh. Ugh.)

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 11:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Steerpike. And his aunts.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 11:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Three of the four Narnia children; the fourth had to go to hell.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 12:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Dr Frankenstein.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 12:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry Isadora, but Anne Shirley did. She married Gilbert Blythe and they had LOADS of kids.

Lestat, although I'm sure all that blood made up for the lack of hanky panky.

― Celeste (Celeste), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Miss Havisham?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Comic Book Guy

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Comic Book Guy

we have a winner.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

no, he got in on with (ugh) skinner's mother remember??

― dave k, Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Screech

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

screech was a fuckin pussy magnet, man.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

No way! Zach and AC were getting laid but there's no way Screech was.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

no, he got it on with (ugh) skinner's mother remember??

Ah yes, Agnes. Drats, foiled again!

*storms off twisting cartoon-villain mustachio*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

A Comic Book Guy quote from the sci-fi-con:
"Ohh... Err... Tell me, how do you feel about 45 year old virgins who still live with their parents?"

but that was before skinner's mother.

how about finding a virgin in a michael chabon novel? that would be tough...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:23 (twenty-three years ago)

What about that kid's novel he just wrote (Summerland?)?

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:25 (twenty-three years ago)

character in Winnie the Pooh who ISN'T a virgin: the narrator

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Sammy Clay is until the horribleness starts.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 15:56 (twenty-three years ago)

...Steerpike? hadn't thought about it, really, but..

(HIS aunts? d'you mean Titus? if so, yeah, I suppose)

― thom west (thom w), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 17:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, sorry. Though the BBC version fleshs out the hint that the lovin' Steerpike may have been getting wasn't the lovin' anyone would want. Hurray for Richard Griffiths.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 17:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Ralph Malph

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 21:51 (twenty-three years ago)

no way! Screech was like the Don, those other two chumps were totally jealous.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Data?

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Data had sex with Tasha. I think that was the first episode I saw.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:30 (twenty-three years ago)

wow, didn't know that! Androids a player.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Brian from The Breakfast Club

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 22:42 (twenty-three years ago)

So was Claire.

― No One (SiggyBaby), Tuesday, 11 February 2003 23:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Aunt Dante from Portrait of an Artist as a young man.

Her name was Mrs. Riordan though, I assumed she was a widow?

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 00:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Re. The Breakfast Club, I have the feeling that Andy and Alison were virgins too.

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 10:50 (twenty-three years ago)

i think they all were, to be honest.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 12 February 2003 12:10 (twenty-three years ago)

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