What lessons have you learned from your previous relationships?

ii) don't be a self-obsessed prick

Also catalog your record collection in case it all goes south.
(When I decided my b-friend could shelve his records in with mine, I knew it was gonna be forever.)

A fantastic "Amazing Spiderman" t-shirt (with Spidey danglin upside-down)
a leather jacket
one underground sprinkler
14 unmatched socks
one manual typewriter
95% self-respect

I read this as 'Do not _ever_ go bed mad' and I was like, b-but why not?

it'll only end in tears one way or another.

Lesson One: Musicians will shag just about anyone who asks, and if they identify a female rival as 'mad' they are probably already shagging her.

Lesson Two: Don't go out with people who like to cultivate female rivals for their girlfriends.

Lesson Three: It's probably better if you're not into exactly the same things; that way nobody is 'copying'.

Lesson Four: Media swivelheads are a bad idea because most of them never got laid until they got a deal and then FUNNY how women gather 'round all of a sudden (this is how misogynists get made, so avoid!).

Ha-ha. My last bf said I copied him by learning how to play guitar. He said I stole his entire identity!

actually, that's just a line from Moulin Rouge, but it's probably true.

* Don't date anyone who can't handle being single.
* Don't get in a relationship because you can't handle being single.
* Don't start with a relationship in your mind and then go looking for the person who fits into it. Don't let anyone else fit you into their prefab scheme, either.
* Expect change.
* An argument is just an argument, not a sign that things aren't working. Resist the urge to make your life seem more dramatic.
* Ending a relationship is not the end of the world, and doesn't have to be the end of the friendship.
* Being friends is not a good enough reason to be more than that.
* Any petty, minor disagreements of the continuing type which seem like they can be put aside and will be worked out in time are potentially available as argument fodder when everything goes to shit. There's never any harm done by working these things out as they come up.
* Don't bottle anything up, and don't let your SO do so, either: by the same token, don't constantly act on emotional impulse. Strike a balance between lashing out and stewing.
* If you are bothered by something petty, your SO should still know about it: don't flatter yourself by thinking you can effectively pretend not to be bothered. Eventually, you'll know each other well enough that that won't work, and your SO will assume you're bothered by something else.
* Learn how to be angry without being a dick, instead of being a dick and pretending not to be angry.
* Never try to make an SO more like an ex. Don't react to an SO, positively or negatively, as if they were your ex. "I'm used to reacting to Y with Z because of my ex" is never a good reason for anything: that's your own shit that you should have dealt with before getting into another relationship.
* Don't get into a relationship because you like to fix people or want to be fixed. If you're depressed, don't start a relationship in order to feel happy. If you're bored, don't turn a potential SO into your new project.
* Good sex doesn't mean you have a good relationship, but bad sex will probably eventually ruin the relationship.
* Fair's got nothing to do with it and never did.