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Buttfuck, Nebraska - Classic or Dud?

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Come on, there must be somebody whose problems DON'T involve extortionate rents and lack of parking space! Let's hear from the yokels, if they can stop chewing on straw long enough to post something!

― dave q, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Like I said, I lived in Buttfuck for five years. Times have changed - they don't just chew plain old grass anymore, they chew on fried grass smothered with butter and cheese. The air's clean, I'll give them that. The towns are really cute. The thrifting is *excellent*. The storms are fantastic. I do miss some things about it, just not, like, 90% of the people. But the other 10% are lovely, and they tend to be types of people you won't find in the city.

― Kerry, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Where's Robin C when we need him?

― the pinefox, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Up in the Big Smoke.

― Momus, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, I've never been to Buttfuck, Nebraska, but I grew up in Bumblefuck, NY. It's right up there by Canada. Anyway, there were definitely some ignorant and unfriendly folks. We used to call 'em "bufords" and they used to call us "fags". I couldn't wait to leave and go to where things were more civilized. Anyway, what I discovered after leaving Bumblefuck about 10 years ago was that things are less civilized in the places where civilization attracts the greatest amount of civilians. Just imagine: in every one of those big apartment buildings, there's at least one psychotic freak/asshole. That just makes for a greater percentage of assholes, basically. So, um... yeah, there's a certain "civility" in big cities, but nothing beats manners and human decency found in smaller towns. Our ol' friend Ally, who likes to play up such a fuck-you kinda attitude still has enough manners to become irrate when people flout those commons sense rules of the subway. Depends on the place, of course, but good ol' Bumblefuck had a buford population that amounted to no more than 5% and the rest of the people had common sense and common decency... because... people talk in small towns! Oooohhh, scary. In NYC, you can piss on a building, snatch a purse, rape some old lady, sell some crack, break into your friend's house and rob him blind and not worry about ruining your reputation.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, that happened to me when I moved to Nebraska. The gentleman I was staying with spread a bunch of lies about me (that I was crazy, when in fact he was positively delusional) and for a long time, I found it hard to get people to give me a fair shake. Basically, I had to make friends with all of his enemies just so I could have a social life. But he ended up abusing his wife and she left him which enhanced *my* reputation. Still, it was remarkably difficult to make friends there : most of my best friends were also "outsiders".

― Kerry, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On the other hand, in small towns, you can leave your purse lying around with your wallet hanging right out and a number of twenty dollar bills showing, and no one will take it. Not having to watch my stuff all the time was a major adjustment. Walking after dark was no different, tho - I just got harassed by people in pickup trucks instead of crazy drunks or homeless dudes.

― Kerry, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I really like medium-sized cities with some uniqueness, not just a filthy mini-NY wannabe, know what I mean? Austin, TX is nice!

― Nude Spock, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, Madison, Wisconsin is super nice. If I have to leave Chicago, I'm going to Madison.

― Kerry, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Prarie Small Cities are really pleasent. You see people you know on the bus, people help you with snow chains, its got a langeorous energy. No one is pushing you, no one makes you rush. Last night we went to the symphony, it was free and there were fireworks over the river. No one had to wait hours, people moved their blankets to make sure everyone got a seat. If you are short for a coffee , someone will pay and people give transfers . People can be petty but i love home.

― antohny, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

From what I hear, Madison = Berkeley with bars on every corner. Sounds good to me.

― Kris, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I know some garagepunk folks in Greenbay. They seem to think it's the best town on earth. It does have a good music scene.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No he's not, Momus. Yet.

― Robin Carmody, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

From what I hear, Madison = Berkeley with bars on every corner. Sounds good to me

Yes, Madison, in my experience, is an enlightened party town. It combines left-wing politics with that Wisconsin love of BEER. We used to go there to party when I was in college. I went to a wedding there, the reception finished up at 2, and we hit the bars. They were all in a row: the sports bar, the gay bar, the hippie bar...and everyone was so friendly and just mixed really well. Then, we were walking down the street at 4 AM and still bumping into strangers in the street, inviting us to parties and such. But it's also really habitable, humane and bike-friendly. Not to mention picturesque. Some good friends just moved there, so it looks like I'll be hanging out there some more. I love Wisconsin *period* - it's so outdoorsy and friendly. You can go to a bar and not feel like you're in a meat market.

― Kerry, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't like Green Bay, though - it's sort of a brawny, macho cheesehead kind of place. The Packers are pretty much *everything* up there.

― Kerry, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That kind of explains the garagepunk explosion going on, then!

― Nude Spock, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hmm..I reside in Milwaukee if that counts. Whenever someone asks me where I live, and I answer I always get a "where?" response.

― JC, Saturday, 1 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't know what's going on in modern music any more, that's about the only "problem" since I moved to Dunedin (that is anything to do w/ my geographic location, that is). I sort of feel like I oughta care about this because being "hip" re: music was the biggest deal thing to me nearly all my life. Also I hardly have any friends here, & I don't make new ones easy. But I like it here, & it's not like most small-towners' situations (i.e. live there 'cause no choice) - if I wtd to live in London or NYC, I would.

― duane, Saturday, 1 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"australia is the buttfucke of the world" - not j lennon.

― Geoff, Saturday, 1 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't like Green Bay, though - it's sort of a brawny, macho cheesehead kind of place. The Packers are pretty much *everything* up there.

Another fun fact for Ethan and I to enjoy, namely the MST rip through the horrendous Giant Spider Invasion, set somewhere in northern Wisconsin and spiked by Mike and bots with endless "PACKERS!" comments as drunk, gun-toting citizens try and fail to kill said giant spiders.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a place called Dildo, in Newfoundland. It's a coastal town, and they have festivals called 'Dildo Days.'

How terribly juvenile of me.

Ah well, if you didn't laugh, you'd cry.

― clive, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i haven't seen that one, ned. i usually try to avoid mike episodes though.

― ethan, Sunday, 2 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Didn't realise there was a Buttfuck in Nebraska. I've always thought it was in Indiana (or, strangely, *Egypt*).

― Michael Jones, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I spent 16 years of my life living in the woods of Minnesota. I never want to live outside of a city smaller than Boston EVER AGAIN.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 3 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

seven months pass...
To prove you all wrong, there is a actual place in New Jersey called Slutsville. I live there. Its funny that it was never called that until I moved there...I thought I left my reputation for sucking off guys and muff diving on other classmates in my old town of Dykeville. Well if anyone wants a freebie, hit me up with a email.

― Sheri Lipton, Saturday, 27 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wouldn't Buttfuck be in Greece, though?

Western small towns and cities, at least the ones I lived in, are very tolerent of the strange. (As long as you're not a newcomer or a Californian, that is.)

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Wednesday, 1 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

five months pass...
I relocated from Boston to rural Nebraska a year ago (to a town of 800 people). I still dress strange, people ask me to say "park the car" and such but for the most part the locals have been very kind. Still, Buttfuck Nebraska sounds about right. I feel terribly out of place as I do not look good in flannel plaid, own a shotgun, or drive a truck. All goals for the future.

― jenifer sharlot, Monday, 7 October 2002 21:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Buttfuck is my favourite Nuclear Assault track.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 7 October 2002 21:34 (twenty-three years ago)

it seems to be hardest to live happily in buttfuck when you have either been away and lived in evil-city-crime-ridden-anonimity, or when you arent the type who suits plaid etc as mentioned above.
i went from small-townsville to sydney when i was 19, and i loved it. still do, but i came back and tried small-town again and O MY O MY did i NOT fit in.
have since moved to a city, where my every move is not discussed by the neighbours of my parents, my dress sense is not frowned upon and i am much happier.
you either like buttfuck, or you dont.

― donna (donna), Monday, 7 October 2002 21:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I want to roam around America in a Greyhound bus. As far as I can see, it's the only way to go. I want to go to the Indianapolis 500, eat in diners, see high-school football games, go to the rodeo (no, really), talk to strangers, etc. Small towns are where it's at.

― Miss Laura, Tuesday, 8 October 2002 08:24 (twenty-three years ago)

eight years pass...

i'm driving across eight united states in three days this week and the tentative itinerary includes a night in nebraska for one of them. thought i might stay in grand island originally, cause my other night's likely gonna be in grand junction, colorado, and it seemed only right and natural to spend both nights in grand towns. but then i saw kearney was nearby, and remembered a nice fellow i worked on a grad school project with who was an entomologist from kearney, plus kearney looks even closer to I-70 than grand island does, so hey why not kearney.

anyway, the cornhuskers have the best helmet in all of college football:

N

― del griffith, Sunday, 12 June 2011 23:30 (fifteen years ago)


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