what do you do when love dies?

It wont be easy, there is no easy. But you can't make an omlette, etc etc etc..

If the answer to any of these questions is "no", then I would follow the above advice. If you answer them all "yes", then ending the relationship is premature and seeing other people is a copout to avoid making a commitment.

There's a certain momentum to falling in love that inevitably wears out over time; once that happens, it can be natural to conclude that what you have left over is not worth pursuing. Sometimes that's the case, sometimes it isn't. Whatever you do, think it through first, and try to be as brutally honest with yourself as possible. On the other hand: don't underestimate the possibility that the relationship is failing because you've stopped working at it, not because you've stopped loving one another.

Up the dosage.

when you feel as if you're just killing time rather than lighting fires?

Err, I dunno.

when you're bored?

Play a game! Go on tha intanet! Listen to music! Take a walk!

when you've had enough?

Say "no thanks."

when you still really care for the other person?

Sulk for a while, up the dosage, then get over it a few months later.

(So is oops.)

Jan

various forces on the relationship which i shan't detail.

I suppose there is a limit to the amount of direct advice that you can give if you don't know what those pressures are. I have found that there is quite often an imbalance of emotions in relationships - from time to time one partner can feel more strongly than the other. This does not necessarily mean that the relationship should end. Having said that, loving someone isn’t always enough reason to stay with someone if there are elements of the relationship that aren’t working (and you either can’t or don’t want to work on them).

I will tend to make a decision on the basis of my own happiness and try to quantify whether I would be better off without this person or not. If the relationship is wearing me down or I feel that I am not getting from the person what I want in a relationship (and they’re not able/willing to fulfil) I will make the decision to split. Breaking an association is always going to be difficult so even though you may be making the right decision you should still expect to be upset – breaking up is awful regardless of whether you know it’s the right thing to do or not. If you take responsibility for initiating make-or-break proceedings your partner’s reaction will prey on you. You will feel desperate if they are upset and possibly worse if they agree with you(!). All wounds heal though and you will both be ok, whatever you decide to do.

The important thing is to have a think about how you feel, discuss your unhappiness together and try to make a decision together. The most flattening emotion in these things is the sense of disappointment. It’s hard to cope with the fact that you find someone attractive and you could love them but a relationship with them just doesn’t seem to work anymore. You also need to think about whether, if you get through this unsettled patch, these unhappy feelings are likely to be an issue again. Have they upset you before? You don't want to stay with someone just because the thought of breaking up with them is too scary.

I hope I don’t sound too preachy (or that I have ridiculously high and demanding standards). To be honest, your query reminded me of the mental gymnastics I went through when I ended a long relationship a few years ago. I hope that you can find some way of settling your confusions and working to a resolution. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and each other.

)-:

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when love dies, you should of have went with someone less boring, like a space man.