Involuntary Celibacy: Classic or Dud?

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(I'm curious to see if anyone will say "classic." Although I admit that it is a quite effective form of birth control.)

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 10 March 2003 06:22 (twenty-three years ago)

dud

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Monday, 10 March 2003 06:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Dud, cause the artistic angst derived from it usually degenerates into whining.

― Poppy (poppy), Monday, 10 March 2003 06:35 (twenty-three years ago)

What Melissa said. Possible side effect: constant fidgeting.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 10 March 2003 06:42 (twenty-three years ago)

there's always something else to do

― duane, Monday, 10 March 2003 06:45 (twenty-three years ago)

makes life meaningless and time move pretty slowly.

― alli (alliok), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:09 (twenty-three years ago)

The longer the dry spell, the dudder life gets.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:10 (twenty-three years ago)

*sob*

― Amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:15 (twenty-three years ago)

On the other hand, more time to listen to Roy Acuff!

― Amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:16 (twenty-three years ago)

*sob*

― Amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:17 (twenty-three years ago)

makes your "cute" radar clumsy and liable to misread subjects.

― alli (alliok), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:18 (twenty-three years ago)

dud, and alli is right

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:28 (twenty-three years ago)

beep beep BRAP

― ron (ron), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:30 (twenty-three years ago)

makes you go to films you don't want to go to

― alli (alliok), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:36 (twenty-three years ago)

makes your walk to work depressing

― alli (alliok), Monday, 10 March 2003 08:03 (twenty-three years ago)

and your supermarket shop pointless

― alli (alliok), Monday, 10 March 2003 08:03 (twenty-three years ago)

a dud I can live with and perhaps even learn from. (like how to fidget, mostly)

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 10 March 2003 09:45 (twenty-three years ago)

classic, since it increases your yogic shaktis and powers and unties your soul's hold to your physical body, increasing identification with your astral one. and hey, you've always got yer hands for when u get too fidgety

if u have no hands, though: dud

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 10 March 2003 09:59 (twenty-three years ago)

the worst.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 10 March 2003 10:00 (twenty-three years ago)

oh stop complaining. sex is for creeps

― duane, Monday, 10 March 2003 10:04 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't see how this could be some sort of ultimate circumstance anyway, i mean there's always professional help

so if you are broke and handless, then dud. otherwise, stop complaining and get your nearest prospects as drunk as u possibly can

― Vic (Vic), Monday, 10 March 2003 10:08 (twenty-three years ago)

''oh stop complaining. sex is for creeps''

no.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 10 March 2003 10:11 (twenty-three years ago)

My last gf put me off sex for life, should I kill her or thank her?

― dave q, Monday, 10 March 2003 11:18 (twenty-three years ago)

thank her by killing her.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 10 March 2003 11:19 (twenty-three years ago)

classic. let's hear it for chastity, forced or otherwise.
alright.
let's hear it again.
yo.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 10 March 2003 12:24 (twenty-three years ago)

My last gf put me off sex for life, should I kill her or thank her?

you're a lucky man, but um, just ignore her.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 10 March 2003 12:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Makes you hate the spring. Nothing should make you hate the spring.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 10 March 2003 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I miss sex. :(

Oh yeah, I almost forgot...TOTAL DUDDERS!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 March 2003 15:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Absolutely dud. I'm an expert here.

But I'll refrain from belaboring the point in a whining voice. :)

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Monday, 10 March 2003 16:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Dud. I've not had sex for a couple of months now.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

fuck, me neither... since october!!

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:21 (twenty-three years ago)

My heart is bleeding to hear this. No, really.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:23 (twenty-three years ago)

i has sex last night so must leave this thread...

― alli (alliok), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:48 (twenty-three years ago)

and never return to this thread again. we cannot tolerate your non-celibacy.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Twice this weekend!

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:51 (twenty-three years ago)

aargh!!!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:52 (twenty-three years ago)

now look what you've done, Julio's exploded.

― Dave M. (rotten03), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:53 (twenty-three years ago)

since I don't really try and meet anyone, I can't really denounce my celibate plight. I'm sure it's a dud though.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:54 (twenty-three years ago)

''now look what you've done, Julio's exploded.''

not yet dave. I'm taking someone with me.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:57 (twenty-three years ago)

dud, but it saves me from having to care about someone who isn't me/go to clinics.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 10 March 2003 18:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic. Much more brain space and personal time. No muss, no fuss and less concern about last minute shaving before heading out the door.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 10 March 2003 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Shaving and fuss are overrated.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 10 March 2003 23:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic. Just think of all the ugly twunts that you'd be making the two-backed beast with otherwise.

(this is assuming that aforementioned celibacy is truly involuntary, which by definition can only be the case for someone who is more undesirable than anyone else that they have come into contact with)

― -M, Monday, 10 March 2003 23:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I agree with that bit about the Shaktis. I'm finding astral projection easier with every celibate day.

― Al_Ewing, Monday, 10 March 2003 23:52 (twenty-three years ago)

That Girl, it doesn't sound very "involuntary" when you put it that way.

Many of you are attractive and friendly people and there is no reason why you should be in this boat! (Wait, am I implying that some of you aren't attractive or friendly? No, I'm saying that I don't know.)

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 00:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Well perhaps started out involuntary and has been maintained voluntarily by it turning out to be not so bad.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 00:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm extremely unattractive and, while I try to be friendly, I have a feeling my innate evil still shines through.

Dunno about the shaving thing. I thought it was cool to be hairy these days.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 00:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I am operating under the assumption it is as well. If someone doesn't like it, well they can blow me (or maybe not . . .)

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 00:18 (twenty-three years ago)

involuntary not-celibacy is also dud.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 11 March 2003 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

involuntary not-celibacy is also dud.

Yes, well in most jurisdictions there are laws against that. Assuming I understand what you mean by "not-celibacy." But it's probably for the best, given what I'm thinking about a certain guy on a mailing list whom I met last spring, who right this minute I'd like to corrupt. If college students these days have anything left to corrupt, as measured by common purity tests.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 06:23 (twenty-three years ago)

I have recently gone from 2-3 times a day to 0. GODDAMN THE IMMIGRATION DEPARTMENT, DAMN THOSE MOTHERLESS CURRS TO HELL!

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 07:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic! Sex is just a "roadblock to holiness".

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 12 March 2003 07:19 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

can you even have involuntary celibacy? involuntary celibacy basically = 'cant get laid at the moment'.

but i agree with the person upthread who says its throws your 'cute' radar off and you lose all sense of whos interested in you and who isnt.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Friday, 2 February 2007 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

compulsory appearance on thread FULFILLED

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 2 February 2007 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

celibacy is a great way to give yourself an important lifestyle choice as a substitute for just not having sex in a long time. i am considering it.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Friday, 2 February 2007 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

It takes about a year (and often getting completely emotionally mangled by someone in the midst of it) to reach the "important lifestyle choice" but once you get there, it's OK.

― I Am Totally Radioactive! (kate), Friday, 2 February 2007 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

True with all ladies I've talked to on this subject. Not true for all men I've talked to on this subject.

What I've learnt in the last week tho - changing your hair makes you instantly more attractive to the opposite sex. Or at least, it feels that way, which is kinda the point anyway.

― Johnney B English (stigoftdump), Friday, 2 February 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

you lose all sense of whos interested in you and who isnt.

A permanent condition for some.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 February 2007 16:31 (nineteen years ago)

what is the exact criteria for being celibate? i think i am going to give it a go.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

uh, not having sex?

― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

isnt there some sort of belief system for it though? ie something you tell people that looks vaguely impressive other than just 'not able to get any at this point in time'?

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:32 (nineteen years ago)

how the fuck can it be classic if it's involuntary?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:34 (nineteen years ago)

There's hardly any such thing as truly not being able to get laid, there is only not liking your options for doing so, or not knowing how to get reality to work for you. So celibacy is almost always voluntary in some measure -- we could ALL get laid if we truly didn't care by whom -- but we usually care at least a little bit (sometimes a lot), and this limits our chances. In a good way.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:37 (nineteen years ago)

all round indisputable DUD if involuntary
its not even celibacy in that case

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

yeah mines involuntary and its so fucking dud.

i cut my hair last night and have assigned myself to start shaving every day. i'm hoping this will have at least some positive self promoting effect. Anything is worth a shot right now.

xp2

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

There's hardly any such thing as truly not being able to get laid

What if your penis is tied in a knot? HUH HUH?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

untie it?

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

Be the bottom!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

its good to recieve.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

Sometimes it can even be a my little pony if the other thread is to be believed!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

"i cut my hair last night and have assigned myself to start shaving every day."

i cut my hair but fuck the shaving part. that would be like trying too hard.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

just shave your hair. no need to cut it then

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

spread nair over your entire head.

― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

my tash grows too quick. nobody likes a tash, especially the ladies. i don't like tashes, why have i had one for 25 years then?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

ill just bathe my entire body in jolen and nair.

i dont have a tashe but i can grow a decent minor league beard in 3-4 days if i want.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

my guy has a 'stasche and a beard and I like him just fine.

― Ms Misery (MissMiseryTX), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

i hate shaving. makes my face feel kinda naked and exposed.

― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

I think my long dry spell may be coming to an end, got dates with two guys (seperately i should add) next week.

― leigh (leigh), Friday, 9 February 2007 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

i feel strangely hopeful mine might too! i have suddenly started finding people attractive again. a good sign i think! no dates as yet though.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 9 February 2007 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

six years pass...

so "involuntary celibacy" turns out to be a whole... subset of the general MRA mess?

http://governmentsgetgirlfriends.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/my-parents-criminals-who-deserve-to-be-put-in-jail-or-killed/

^^ this blog is so insane i really can't tell if it's trollery or not

― ✌_✌ (c sharp major), Friday, 17 May 2013 10:42 (thirteen years ago)

I think thats legit craziness, c sharp maj.

― how's life, Friday, 17 May 2013 10:48 (thirteen years ago)

I think #3 is where the joke becomes apparent, if it wasn't already

― have a nice Blog (imago), Friday, 17 May 2013 10:50 (thirteen years ago)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Involuntary_celibacy seems like a good place to hang out if you are running low on hate.

― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 17 May 2013 10:54 (thirteen years ago)

i don't know how i survived in life before the soothing schadenfreude of wikipedia talk pages

― ✌_✌ (c sharp major), Friday, 17 May 2013 10:55 (thirteen years ago)

The contents page is all you really need :D

― have a nice Blog (imago), Friday, 17 May 2013 10:57 (thirteen years ago)

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