this thread is a support group for abysmally depressed fuXors

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― sad bastard, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:14 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:17 (twenty-three years ago)

:-(

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Good olde Sucidal Tendencies.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

The medicine's not working too well, lately.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:19 (twenty-three years ago)

My name is Kate and I am abyssmally depressed. Maybe we could, like, flirt or something, hstencil.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Sounds like a good idea to me!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

feel free to log out if you need to whine anonymously

― sad bastard, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

(btw kate I've only seen Sex and the City once, and my jury's still out.)

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I am so sad that I consumed an entire pizza and a 70% cocoa bar of chocolate, and I still whinged so much when my housemates came home that they bought me a vodka to shut me up. Fancy a drink?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:27 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, please. I'll have a bourbon with a valium chaser.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, can I please just say now that I've decided that I don't really give a fuck about Sex and the City, and I'm kind of embarrassed by how that thread has spiralled out of control. Sigh. It's my thread and I have nothing to add to it.

Ah, Suzy just put the Kills record on. Getting better. WHy is it dark nasty music makes me feel happier?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

WHy is it dark nasty music makes me feel happier?

I don't know. I need to leave work and go home and listen to "I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night" while I drink some bourbon.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I always think of that as a wonderful happy amazing psychedelic anthem because of the lovely buzzing tremolo. Until you listen to the lyrics, and then you realise it's about obsession and unrequited lust. Like most of the best things are.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:32 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.nibsindia.com/images/poster4.jpg

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:33 (twenty-three years ago)

heh, put me on this list.

how is the kills record?

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:33 (twenty-three years ago)

there's very few things about/in my life that do not inolve obsession and unrequited lust, kate.

well, besides my shitty job.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.nibsindia.com/images/poster5.jpg

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:34 (twenty-three years ago)

That's like me at the bar, JBR.

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

I will admit that the giant food picture thread is pretty cheery, though!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

It's one of the few recent records that Suzy and I agree on. It's like PJ Harvey (rid of me era) fronting Sidewalking era Mary Chain. With a scary nasty early Sisters of Mercy drum machine pummelling the background. Not the most original music, but good for bad, foul, dark PMS sorts of moods.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:35 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.buffalowings.co.jp/suicidal.jpg

― sad bastard, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

"poster"?

hmm okay. I saw like one song live once, but I don't really remember anything abt it. Are they getting big?

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

You guys are totally harshing my mellow.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I probabaly need medicine, but I would rather just have my own way all the time. And if I can't have that, I would rather suffer.

― rainy (rainy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

they're a bit hyped UK-side right now. Like, Suzy just interviewed them for Edgy Style Magazine.

Sigh. Sorry to harsh yer mellow, yer mellowing our mean, Chris! Maybe you should share yer valium, hstencil!

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:41 (twenty-three years ago)

but kate valium goes best with bourbon!

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 22:43 (twenty-three years ago)

hmm maybe an edgy style mag would pick me up

(okay how sad is that [not the first time I've thought it either] "maybe things would be better if I just got a few more magazines")

off to put my bills in the mail! feliz, fukkerz!

― g.cannon (gcannon), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

"WHy is it dark nasty music makes me feel happier?"

Probably for the same reason Nick Drake's music comforts when I'm feeling depressed. Misery loves company?

― mike a (mike a), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:45 (twenty-three years ago)

People try to tell me that I need medicine of some sort. I don't think so. I can point fairly accurately to the things that are bringing me down, but don't seem able to do anything about them.

Ah well, just got a text from our bassist saying that she's spoken to the manager and we are supposed to have a definite answer on this tour by tomorrow. 24 more hours of tenterhooks...

I suppose I should be grateful that we are on tenterhooks about such a glamourous and cool thing, but right now it's just stressing me out. On Wednesday night, I was just perfectly happy with how things were. In the worst case scenario, we will end up with exactly how things stood on Wednesday, so why does this seem like settling now?

Even if we do get this tour, Horton still won't love me, so why should I bother?

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Amherst is like the epicentre of all things unholy and wrong in the United States.
-- Ally (mlescau...) (webmail), March 15th, 2003 6:57 AM.

And I'm there right now.....

― brg30 (brg30), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:47 (twenty-three years ago)

The only time magazines cheer me up is when I'm in them. heh. Actually, I got a clipping from a magazine today that someone *else* namedropped me in an article! That was really sweet. OK, I should be happy. OK, this is something really kinda cool, that young women in their late teens and early 20s actually think of me and my band as some kind of role models. That is something I'm quite proud of, and should feel really good about, that I've inspired other people to do something and be creative and make music and stuff. Yay.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:49 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.wbbc.wellington.net.nz/images/BaarbieLOGO.jpg (edited by moderator -- picture was v. v. large)

― s.b., Friday, 14 March 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Because it's a tour, Kate! All sorts of new DDBs from exotic ports of call! They will be better than Horribleton.

The mellow-harshing comment was just a joke: I am not abysmally depressed right now, thankfully, but I have certainly been in the abyss before and I am probably a little further down right now than I think I am -- if that makes sense. But it's all for stupid reasons. Well, half of it -- the lack-of-boy reasons -- are fairly stupid and annoying.

Anyway. Stay off the drugs if you can but if you want I'll give you some of the Vicoden from my recent illness... That probably goes all too well with bourbon.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:53 (twenty-three years ago)

oops! sorry.

― s.b., Friday, 14 March 2003 22:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I really like the Kills record, fwiw

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:57 (twenty-three years ago)

somebody please pity me.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I am sad. Maybe tonight's the night for a little old-skool sorrow-drowning. This would require getting dressed, so on the other hand maybe not.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:02 (twenty-three years ago)

cheer up!

http://www.choppersbar.com/bsr/glowcat.gif

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:03 (twenty-three years ago)

christ.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Argh. And I pick up the Guardian review and there's this massive fuckoff article on the Bangles just to remind me. If they're in London, why the fuck are we having all these transAtlantic squabbles trying to get hold of people in LA?

UGH! I just drank Suzy's Ice by mistake and now I've got lipstick on me.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:05 (twenty-three years ago)

What, did you all get drunk, and now no one is depressed any more?

Or did I ruin yet another thread with my self obsessed solipsistic blathering? Sigh.

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:13 (twenty-three years ago)

no, still sober.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:18 (twenty-three years ago)

It's like PJ Harvey (rid of me era) fronting Sidewalking era Mary Chain. With a scary nasty early Sisters of Mercy drum machine pummelling the background

I must have this! And I'm not even depressed, I'm just indifferent.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait, you are maybe going on tour with the Bangles?!

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:23 (twenty-three years ago)

This is the Kills we're talking about? Hm! I believe something might be up via Secret Sources...

And yes, Chris, that's the hope. Cool, isn't it? :-) Here's to it actually happening!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:23 (twenty-three years ago)

We'll know tomorrow...

― kate (suzy), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, kate.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Which of you depressed people is on AIM now?

― hstencil, Friday, 14 March 2003 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I feel so woefully out of the loop. I didn't realize the Bangles were still an active concern. (Or a reactiviated one?) And I have spent the past week reigniting my love of "Manic Monday" and debating whether we should try out a cover version.

Wow. Eeek I hope this works out for you.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 14 March 2003 23:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 50 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Beware the Ides Of March....5 more hours of absolutely nothing to do at work. Can't listen to music and its the first day in months its been 50 degrees out side. *sigh*

― brg30 (brg30), Saturday, 15 March 2003 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

i was abysmally depressed friday night/most of yesterday, but mark s sent me a nice email which cheered me up :-) listening to introverted, crawl-back-into-my-shell-when-the-world-kicks-me-in-the-face music, e.g. new Cat Power record, "Exile in Guyville," etc. Yes I know the sun's shining and I should be listening to Junior Senior, but, y'know, sometimes life's like that...

― Marcello Carlin, Sunday, 16 March 2003 12:51 (twenty-three years ago)

still kinda down, but found a cool Michael Ochs-compiled Taschen book of album cover art on the street on my way back from the all-night diner after the FAP.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 16 March 2003 12:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Still stretched on tenterhooks about the Bangles thing, but... went to HMV to look at the sales this morning, and found a copy of THE TEARDROP EXPLODES GREATEST HITS for only £6!!! Yay!!!

And, erm, a note in my inbox from ET saying that my Horton article was "brilliant" and it's going in regardless. So at least something good came out of that whole mess...

― kate (suzy), Sunday, 16 March 2003 13:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay for Kate! I look forward to reading it.

― Nicole (Nicole), Sunday, 16 March 2003 13:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm feeling down after coming back from Austin b/c I don't know why I ever left. Oh wait, yes I do, to live with some guy who turned out to be a hateful, abusive prick. Uh, yeah me.

I want to move back desperately and miss being with all of my friends. The weight of this longing has oppressed what was otherwise a good weekend.

Also I was counting on my tax refund to give me some cash to use this week (spring break) but have since learned that it's being offset by a state I haven't lived in for 4 years. So know I have only $12 to live on for the next 10 days. :(

On the upside (I guess) I am webbing from my couch on my shiny new laptop. yay.

boo. sniff. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 17 March 2003 03:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Heartbreakingly beautiful morning this morning. Wonder how many more days like this I'm going to lose being cooped up in an office and shouted at... :-(

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 17 March 2003 08:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Some balm for depressives courtesy of the HMV sale -

Various Artists - CHAPEL OF LOVE on Castle, 3 CDs of some-famous/some-obscure girl group 60s singles for THREE POUNDS NINETY NINE! That's 60 or so tracks for four quid and almost all of them are interesting or worth a smile or a chuckle and some of them are of course devastatingly good. Go and buy it miserable Londoners because even if you don't want to listen to it now, when the good times come again (and they will) you'll want it.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 17 March 2003 11:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It is 4am. I have to work tomorrow. This has been an unexpected downward spiral of a day, and for no good reason. Bleh.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 17 March 2003 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

That's a fabulous set that Tom recommends! It has Groucho Marx's daughter on it! And a track called Shoop Shoop De Doop Rama Lama Ding Dong Yeah Yeah Yeah! You can't resist that! If the other Castle set 'Rock The Joint' is in the sale too (I bought them together last year) get that too!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 17 March 2003 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Since I am not in London, Tom and Martin are making me depressed. I want that CD!!

― rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 04:54 (twenty-three years ago)

you don't know what depression is, etc.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:16 (twenty-three years ago)

to which specific "you" are you referring?

i am clinically a reactive depressive. what's your type?

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm going to risk making myself late for work (hell, I called in sick yesterday) by answering this. I wasn't referring to you naturally, I wasn't referring to anyone. I was just echoing Aaron's statement upthread. Actually I was doing a typical thing for me; eliptically alluding to something serious with a tossed-off quip, masking what is really a cry for help. Ha, you know I guess I just want to keep saying it over and over to myself, I need help. Maybe it's part of my condition or something, but I don't expect nor could I ever realize any help from words I'd read here (with all respect to all the fine people I interect with here almost daily); it's just mental. If I can't get out of my head I'm certainly not going to get out of my apartment. You know in an hour I'm going to appear indistinguishable from most of the other people going to office jobs (alhtough who knows what their lives are like), like my boss said when I told her I was sick, I always "present well" ha sure. My goddam fucking epitaph, "he sure looked good". Anyway what was I saying? To answer your second question, I have no idea.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Haha actually what I am is a big drama queen. It's a joke! a big joke kids.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 15:30 (twenty-three years ago)

My psychatrist called me "highly functional" yestereday which is what I think you're describing Sean. While I know that no one else really sees how close I am to offing myself on a daily basis I know that I probably can't see it in other people either. Every man leads a life of quiet desperation and all that. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

abysmal. . . . i think lately it's sooo tied to my job. it's horrible. goddamn. . .

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 04:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Me too. ugh. But that's primarily due to things like, oh, having no goals or interests in life. What's specifically wrong with the job? I worked with "disadvantaged" students briefly (tutoring, not teaching) and dear god it was the most depressing thing ever. Maybe it's time for another career change for you?

― mouse, Monday, 23 February 2004 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so relieved that I got canned on Friday. I was panicked for a bit but now I feel ok. I'm so happy with how this medication works even if it does take me an hour to beat off. I'm sure I'll be back to black-assed depressed by the end of the week. I never want to work again and I hate myself for feeling that way.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 23 February 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I am changing careers mouse, but am trying to hold on till the end of the year. and do as little of the administrative bullshit as possible in the meantime.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

hey I want in on
this depression action too!
count me in. let's change.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish I had a careers mouse, to help me on my way.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I got busted for weed this weekend. They showed up at the same time the following night, claiming to smell dank. WTF

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you sure the said 'dank'? If so, that's the best police story I've ever heard.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

It was only CAMPUS SECURITY!

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but you got laid
so don't complain. maybe cops
were lurking here jon!

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 23 February 2004 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Well even so. Is there a drug called 'dank' now, or does it just mean what it's always meant?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

my careers mouse has failed me several times. perhaps such a thing is not a good thing.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I just sit here posting while previewing records or avoiding college work. So horribly depressing. I have to write a short story for a class, but I've read Notes From the Underground waaaay too many times so it all just comes out like this,

"Woke up about 10 times the night before due to the extreme amount of alcohol ingested the night before. ... I can't feel numb anymore. I am sick of shame. I won't do it - I am going to stop caring. This is where I spew it all out so it stops poisoning me anymore because I want my body to stop aching. I am sore about life, a cripple - developmentally disabled from living under grey reign for way too long. ... I want to do some lines of coke. Then later I'd feel more depressed, but that'd be even better. People act like thats a negative effect."

ah ha ha ha thats supposed to be a 'character' - somebody kill me or put me in therapy or something.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, stop stealing from my brain.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 23 February 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Put down the Dostoyevsky. Read Gogol, he is funnier. Of course, Dostoevsky is good on those sorts of personalities that do reckless, self-destructive things and don't actually want to get better.

Today sucks.

― daria g (daria g), Monday, 23 February 2004 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Eesh... I've been futily looking for a job for 4 weeks, and I was finally offered one:

starting in fucking october.

― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

eight months pass...

Jesus Christ, I'm depressed.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry to hear that Lee. I too, am depressed, and I can't seem to shake it.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

for leeeeee:

http://www.sportsretort.com/redsox/mueller.anim.gif

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Does it make me a real sad-sack if that actually put a smile on my face?

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

(thanx bnw!)

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no, Leeee! Are you coming back for Xmas or Thanksgiving? Feel like a GTA lock-in maybe? Failing that I will briefly be in Chicago over Xmas myself.

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll be back for Winter.

I feel the worst by myself, obviously, but since a paper's due for me and my classmates on Monday, isolation is necessary.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you know that Alfred Hitchcock had his Northern Cali home somewhere in the vicinity of Mountain View/Los Gatos? I read that the other day and thought of you. Maybe I am the only person who cares about such things, but still...

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't know that!

I've had Hitchcok overload, though. Strangers on a Train, Rebecca, Lady Vanishes, Vertigo in one class, and Rear Window in a month in another. And neither is a Hitchcock class.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Cool!

I bought this
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1891661272.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

and am considering travelling the greater Bay Area and filming old Hitchcock locations w/ my Super-8.

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP STEALING OUR MEME

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I listened to a Cocteau Twins song ("Summerhead" in case you're keeping track) and I was happy but that was 8 hours ago and now I'm sad again.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:09 (twenty-one years ago)

this will male you happier

http://www.edge-inc.net/images/humor/lego-rave.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

or even make you happier

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a great picture.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Saturday, 6 November 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

i want to kill myself right now

― anony, Monday, 21 February 2005 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

why?

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 21 February 2005 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

eight years pass...

http://randomdysfunctions.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/StressQuote.jpg

If depression is "anger turned inward," I know I turn that anger inwards because letting it out would bring me a shitload of trouble.

― Word Salad Username (j.lu), Saturday, 15 February 2014 01:13 (twelve years ago)

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