the late review declares 'the life of david gale' the worst film of all time. (SPOILERS but the twist is so k-rub this moderator advises you to read it anyway and laugh.)

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a genuine all-round panning by
all 4 crits.
mr morley was so incensed he
did the unthinkable - he gave away the ending.
by all accounts there's a massive twist - does
someone fancy telling me what it is, so's i can go
shout it at crowds of cinema-goers in manchester
to save them the agony ?

― piscesboy, Saturday, 15 March 2003 09:20 (twenty-three years ago)

"After the hero (Kevin Spacey) is executed for the alleged murder of his fellow death-penalty opponent (Laura Linney), the reporter (Kate Winslet) is devastated at having failed to save his life. Then she receives a video from him. On it, she discovers that Linney, who was dying, committed suicide, aided by Spacey and another activist, who together framed Spacey for the murder to discredit the death penalty. This tape represents the biggest story of her career; of course she will report on it. The result: Spacey has died in vain and discredited his own cause by making death-penalty opponents look like unprincipled frauds. The movie's ending exists only to supply a balm and cheap thrill to the audience and trashes the logic of all that has gone before."

So sez Ebert.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Saturday, 15 March 2003 09:28 (twenty-three years ago)

yay ! nice one. thanks.
bad movies *deserve* to be spoiled.

― piscesboy, Saturday, 15 March 2003 09:50 (twenty-three years ago)

God. Good ole alan parker, eh? (cough)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 15 March 2003 10:27 (twenty-three years ago)

don't agree though that it makes them look like
'unprincipled frauds'. how ?
or am i not reading it right ?
i'm still intrigued to know what
happens to the 'other activist' and how he escapes
the chair.

― piscesboy, Saturday, 15 March 2003 10:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Basically he gets put on the chair but at the crucial moment he develops CGI wings and a beak and flies away to Cuba to the tune of "Get over it" by the Eagles.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 15 March 2003 10:58 (twenty-three years ago)

It sounds like this film wd be a lot better if it featured Godzilla more prominently!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 15 March 2003 11:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, his cameo is a bit lame. Better than the five minute jacuzzi scene with a cartoon dog voiced by Eddie Murphy.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 15 March 2003 11:33 (twenty-three years ago)

though

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 15 March 2003 11:33 (twenty-three years ago)

i suspect 'equilibrium' is worse. they can't even get the heads and bodies to match on the poster

― zemko (bob), Saturday, 15 March 2003 11:53 (twenty-three years ago)

yeh 'Equilibrium' looks like the same tired old 'he was part of the system, but when he discovered something the system didnt want him to know, they shut him out, now he's against the system' shit, shame

― stevem (blueski), Saturday, 15 March 2003 12:26 (twenty-three years ago)

If a movie's ending is fucking horrible and bad, I say give it away (though with that spoilers warning). I do all the time on my site. If I don't think you should see the film, why should I keep why it sucks a big secret?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 15 March 2003 18:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Bruce Willis is really dead. Not just in The Sixth Sense, he's just dead, they keep reanimating the body.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 15 March 2003 18:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Interestingly, I still enjoyed the Sixth Sense even though I figured out the twist right from the get go. Which is why I don't trust assholes who say that a film's no good if you know what happens. Much enjoyment is to be had in the details, etc.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 15 March 2003 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I agree to a certain point--otherwise, why would I enjoy re-watching movies I really like? Still, I hate it when trailers give too much away and dampen my excitement. While being surprised isn't the ultimate manifestation of the cinematic experience it can certainly be enjoyable and enhance a movie's impact.

― slutsky (slutsky), Saturday, 15 March 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll admit that trailers giving stuff away is more damaging than a friend giving some specific plot element away. The trailer even lets you know what that element will LOOK like.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 15 March 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Unfortunately, Paul Morley (who made the comment that provides the thread with its title) went on to say later in the show that 'Moulin Rouge' was "the best film ever made". I think he was making a point about the discrete charm of provisional absolutism.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Saturday, 15 March 2003 20:04 (twenty-three years ago)

don't agree though that it makes them look like
'unprincipled frauds'. how ?
or am i not reading it right ?

the idea that you wd commit suicide and frame yr fellow activist, eg create a complete and total fabrication to prove yr point - I dunno, that seems pretty bullshit to me. As does the film.

I wish the twist ending idea would get flushed forever. It's a cheap and frankly insulting method of making the audience feel excited for a brief moment, and more often than not it's done in such a way that I'm left with the idea of the filmmakers as the kind of people who ask stupid riddles in an attempt to feel superior.

― Millar (Millar), Saturday, 15 March 2003 20:21 (twenty-three years ago)

haha, that Paul Morley remark sounds like something I'D say! (though not about bloody Moulin Rouge, and without the possible tongue-in-cheek-ness)

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 15 March 2003 23:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, if movies with super-surprise twist endings came along maybe once in a decade I might be into them; but it tends to reduce the movie to that one gimmick.

― slutsky (slutsky), Saturday, 15 March 2003 23:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I like it in the trailer where someone (Winslet?) says 'Someone's trying to frame you?' and K-rub Spacey says 'Oh it's more than that'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 17 March 2003 00:11 (twenty-three years ago)

It does look like a rubby mcrubfest, but all you need to see is the trailer to guess that.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 17 March 2003 00:13 (twenty-three years ago)

rubby mcrubfest

Phrase o' the day. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 17 March 2003 00:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, what Kevin Spacey says in the ad just screams "twist ending!" And then the voiceover guy tells you there's a twist ending. I agree that bad movies deserve to be spoiled.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Monday, 17 March 2003 01:52 (twenty-three years ago)

the Citizen Kane video box has a PICTURE OF A SLED ON THE BACK OF IT = they are clearly not worried that people will go "pshaw, what's the point of seeing it now?"

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Monday, 17 March 2003 01:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I think we're all missing the important thing here: does Kate Winslet get her tits out or not?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 17 March 2003 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Kevin Spacey's smugnes will eat the world alive unless we stop him by casting him as a circus clown (and not the Pagliacci kind either).

― Amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 17 March 2003 06:44 (twenty-three years ago)

the Citizen Kane video box has a PICTURE OF A SLED ON THE BACK OF IT = they are clearly not worried that people will go "pshaw, what's the point of seeing it now?"

True, but the whole point at the end of that quest was that "Rosebud" wasn't the important part of the story. It just was the MacGuffin that led to the real search for Kane, the man. Yeah, it had some significance, but not enough to be vital to the plot, except for the fact that it started the whole investigation.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 17 March 2003 11:50 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah classic twists aren't the *whole* story
in good films with good twists. the 6th sense twist
is almost incidental to the main plot.
ditto crying game. after 'memento' and
'wild things' (a film that actually wants
you to think you have it all figured, then yanks
the rug out over and over until your head
does indeed spin) twists are over
and done with anyway. and especially now after 'david gale'.

so...how does he frame his fellow activist ?
and why does she not watch the video when she gets it?
and what's actually shown on the video anyway ?

has anyone seen it by the way ? !!

― piscesboy, Monday, 17 March 2003 12:36 (twenty-three years ago)

seven months pass...

did anyone rent this more recently ?
is it as bad as it looks ?

― piscesboy, Friday, 17 October 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

How quickly does Kate Winslet get naked in it?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 17 October 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

This is truly terrible. But this is not the worst film of all time. That honor goes to

http://www.urbancinefile.com.au/res/images/g/garagedays_cd.jpg

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 17 October 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

no, it's actually this:

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0124198/AU21_1_32.jpg

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Chuck, have you SEEN Garage Days? I think you would agree that it is worse.

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

how about this:

http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/86/02/32m.jpg

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Who could resist a rock 'n roll comedy from the director of The Crow?

Have you heard of Foolproof -- a Canadian "action comedy" starring David Suchet and the guy from Van Wilder? Oy.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

No.

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I take it I'm the only one who saw Cabin Fever?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

pee-yuke!

though has anyone seen Buttcrack: The Movie, a Troma Production?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

You?

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. It is awesome, least of all for the supporting role played by Mojo Nixon. It's about this guy who's pants won't stay up, and whenever someone stars at his buttcrack, they turn into a zombie.
the guy who plays Buttcrack is hilarious.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0191019/

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 17 October 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the worst film I've ever seen. Fails on every conceivable level and offends on many others. The director is quite possible the worst in existence based on this film.

Armond White liked it naturally.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0233142/

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 18 October 2003 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha!!

look at that director clown spelling his name the herman hesse way when he's really called damien (my real name as it happens).
ooh so it's DEMIAN now is it ? yeah like i'm dead scared.

unless his *parents* did that to him in the first place...?

― piscesboy, Saturday, 18 October 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Wasn't there some flick called "Brown Bunny" that Ebert and at least 1 other critic guy declared the worst movie evah...and then the director started a fued with Ebert?

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 18 October 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's Ebert's version vis-a-vis Gallo/Ebert and Brown Bunny
Gallo goes on the offensive after 'Bunny' flop June 4, 2003 BY ROGER EBERTVincent Gallo has put a curse on my colon and a hex on my prostate. He called me a "fat pig" in the New York Post and told the New York Observer I have "the physique of a slave-trader." He is angry at me because I said his "The Brown Bunny" was the worst movie in the history of the Cannes Film Festival. I was not alone in my judgment. Screen International, the British trade paper, convenes a panel of critics to score the official entries. "The Brown Bunny" scored 0.6 out of a possible five--the lowest score in its history, the paper said. This came as a blow to the French. Their national pride could not abide the notion that an American film was worse than any of their own, and so a few days later they countered with Bertrand Blier's "Les Cotelettes." "It actually scored even worse with our forlorn international critics," Colin Brown, editor of Screen International, told me. "Seven zeroes, vs. Gallo's five zeroes." The "Bunny" press screening "was remarkable for the unrestrained hostility of the audience," wrote A. O. Scott in the New York Times. At the end, the audience "gave voice to that French form of abuse that sounds like a cross between the lowing of a cow and the hooting of an owl." During a scene where Gallo shares a bicycle with a young woman, I became so nostalgic for "Butch Cassidy" that I softly sang "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head." I stopped after six words when my wife jabbed me in the ribs. I was overheard by a writer for Hollywood Reporter, who included it in his coverage about how badly the film was received, and that is another reason Gallo has put the heebie-jeebie on my colon and prostate. I am not too worried. I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than "The Brown Bunny." A day after the fiasco of the movie's premiere, Screen International ran a remarkable interview in which Gallo apologized for his film, calling it "a disaster and a waste of time," and adding, "I apologize to the financiers of the film, but I must assure you it was never my intention to make a pretentious film, a self-indulgent film, a useless film, an unengaging film." He added that the official screening "was the worst feeling I ever had in my life," and said he would never watch the film again. On Monday Gallo told the New York Post's Page Six that Screen International "made up" his quotes. He added, "I'm sorry I'm not gay or Jewish, so I don't have a special interest group of journalists who support me." Such comments might seem politically incorrect, but not to Gallo, who says he is a conservative Republican, although since his film ends with a hard-core oral sex scene, he is not likely to be fielding many group bookings from the Moral Majority. But was Gallo actually misquoted? "Absolutely insane stuff from Gallo," editor Colin Brown assured me. "Not only is everything we wrote in Cannes exactly as he spewed out, word for word, it was all recorded on audio tape." He added, "It makes me wonder whether this is not all some great marketing ploy on his part. I have actually come across people who say 'Brown Bunny' is top of their list of films they most want to see out of Cannes this year." Fionnuala Halligan, who wrote the Screen International piece, says she quoted Gallo accurately and sent me a copy of his transcript. "By the end he is shouting and spitting, and his invective is so unpleasant, I feel quite shaken listening to it again," she told me. "I don't think it was a good day for him to meet the press, as he was obviously extremely upset. He was very late, and all the interviews that had previously been arranged got lumped into one group, which is fortunate for me, as he probably would have thumped me otherwise."

Gallo all but wept in a Cannes interview as he described the pain of "growing up ugly," but empathy has its limits, and he had no tears for a fat pig and slave-trader such as myself. It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of "The Brown Bunny."

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 18 October 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I still give the nod for Worst Movie Ever to Melvin Van Peebles'
Identity Crisis, about a gay French fashion designer murdered by Arabs who possesses an aspiring rapper named Chilly Dee. There are plenty of grade-Z movies that are even more boring, but this film required a lot of wrong but INSPIRED choices. There's plenty of indulgent films, but this is the only one I know of where the directory clumsily overlaps footage of himself scatting onto the film at random moments. If you rent it (and please do!) remember that not only is this the final cut, but that Melvin wrote a pompous book about the experience of working on the film, titled No Identity Crisis (whose book cover is better shot than the film).

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 18 October 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

This film is the best bad film I've ever seen:

http://graphics.theonion.com/avpics_3641/death_drug.jpg

As a review in the Onion said:

Made a year before Rudy Ray Moore combined disco, action, comedy, roller-skating, and an anti-PCP message in Avenging Disco Godfather, Death Drug stars Philip Michael Thomas as a plumber and aspiring musician whose career begins to take off after he signs with a big-time record company. But a night of tableside shimmying to The Gap Band takes a dark turn when a Willie Tyler lookalike offers him what he seductively refers to as "the stick with the kick," "the tower of power," and "a sherm coated with the juice from end to end." Though understandably confused by the jive talk, Thomas accepts anyway, and soon begins to exhibit the telltale wild-eyed gleam of a sherm fiend, causing wife Rosalind Cash to grow increasingly suspicious and doubt his claims that he's merely meditating. Too transfixed by his hairbrush's transformation into a snake to notice her reservations, Thomas later corners his dealer during a tennis match to score more sherm. Although peeved at Thomas' breach of Angel Dust etiquette, the dealer offers the fledgling dope fiend some "whack" he promises will "put the dip in your hip, more cut in your strut, and more glide in your stride." Eager to function with more cut in his strut, Thomas accepts, but soon finds his life dominated by PCP addiction and comical overacting. After learning of his wife's pregnancy, Thomas checks into rehab and vows to clean up, an effort portrayed in a kicking-drugs montage sequence. Upon release, he attempts to start his life anew but experiences a terrifying flashback at a grocery store, hallucinating its employees as shadowy figures wearing cheap monster masks in a vision of drug-induced paranoia that eerily recalls a low-rent haunted house. Running into the street, Thomas challenges a semi to a fight, losing his life in the process.

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 18 October 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

there's an onion review of Identity Crisis but frankly it doesn't do justice to how horrible the film is.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 18 October 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin..."

What wishful thinking, Is he talking about his corpse?

― Tim Smoot, Sunday, 19 October 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

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