Why bother running a headline like...?

I guess this isn't really news either--I misread it at first as "Librarians and Liberals..." Now, he thought, we're on to something.

Well, yeah.

Keep festive spirit in moderation currently top headline on BBC Scotland. "Offering his annual tips on staying healthy over the holidays, Dr Burns also suggested people should check on elderly neighbours living on their own"

People with a talent for sewing are asked to make bags to help lost puffin chicks on a remote Scottish island is in third place

Well, if you don't ask...

Britain's job 'bloodbath'

In the Indy today. Way to make things worse.

I read that as

People with a talent for sewage are asked to make bags to help lost puffin chicks

Oh, come on (not so much the headline itself, rather what the hell kind of Christmas story is this?!)

dudes

check this

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7803047.stm

Why bother running a headline where the first half of the headline is truncated by ellipses and then you have to click on the thing to get the goods? Can you imagine if a proper newspaper did that?

VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT FINDS...(see page B2 for rest of headline)

but seriously now

A Dubai sex man walks into a bar, and says "Just put the drink on my bill."

He's like a superhero, Dubai Sex Man

Does this spell the end for ... Dubai Sex Man?

It's actually the "faces massive bill" that I find flat-out amazing. The Dubai Sex Man has graced our headlines for a good long while now. It's been a sterling effort by our Dubai Sex Man.

Does whatever a Sex Man can
Faces Bills, any size
He had sex
in Dubai
Look out! Here comes Dubai Sex Man.

He stopped being a Dubai Sex Boy and finally became a Dubai Sex Man

So who wants to hack the website and replace the image with a drawing of Dubai Sex Man staring down an enormous duck supervillain?

By the way, I'm bothered by the coyness in this, the whole "it's not what we in the west consider sex" thing -- so fine, no penetration, but how about some details on what was happening, just in case any of us feel like going to Dubai? I mean, clearly if you're being that coy about it, you were doing something significant, or else you'd just say "this is insane, we were only kissing" or something.

It's the whole "now you're back we expect you to outline everything that happened, from how you embarrassed yourself with a drunken screw with a stranger to the minutiae of your defence, and failing your divulgence of this we will instead report on how six months fighting a high-profile legal case which you eventually won thanks to lawyer shenanigans has cost you a packet" thing that really gets me.

You do know there's a Dubai Sex Woman as well?

Of course the Dubai Sex Patriarchy wouldn't consider her worthy of the history books.

I'm just really looking for an excuse to feel morally superior, because basically I'm not dropping my pants in public in any foreign nation whatsoever, and I'm tempted to feel that anyone who does so in Dubai is just asking for trouble in the first place

(I mean, maybe I would, if there were a good reason for it and I were among loads of trusted citizens who were assuring me that it was cool, but definitely not to get with some chick on a beach during a work weekend in Dubai)

Hacking the BBC website would be lolz, but would have to be done by the right person, with the right pranks in mind, otherwise Britain would actually malfunction.

I heard the dude's interview on Radio 5 myself earlier, and without seeming too self-pitying he did remark that in Dubai the locals "drank as much as the ex-pats" and got up to all sorts of Western-style mischief under the passive eye of the law. Trouble is, there's a way of dodging, and I highly doubt that this fella got it right. Nabisco otm, don't drop trou in a 'hardline' state unless you're absolutely sure nobody's watching.

"Maybe I was naive" was a line he used, and a dead giveaway at that. Non-cryptic code for "we were fucking soused, and I got caught with my cock out by someone in no position to turn a blind eye"

http://cache.gettyimages.com/xc/1219253.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF19390335F8FA9CA92A6AE6FB41673A483139930FDCFC4C15FBB

DUBAI SEX BILL FACES MASSIVE MAN

DUBAI BILL MAN FACES MASSIVE SEX

Sex Faces Bill, Massive Dubai Man

MASSIVE FACES BILL DUBAI SEX MAN

DUBAI SEX MAN

Really hate the headline/article format of "CONTROVERSIAL-SOUNDING THING UNCOVERED" where the article then goes on to tell you that the thing is most likely insignificant, but still it "could" be significant.

"Trump Repeats Lie..."

It goes on from there, but why bother?

http://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/23/us/politics/donald-trump-congress-democrats.html?_r=0