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i am finding it very hard to listen to other people bitch about their problems these days, and finding it even harder to articulate or think about my own.

i also find it impossible to bother with the majority of ile. i realize this all comes down to the invidual ways we deal with stress and worry. (obv, as i am still using ilm as a drug to stave off suicide.)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:46 (twenty-three years ago)

The reverse for me. ILM seems beyond pointless whereas ILE I sort of embrace for its life-goes-on qualities. (Of course I still post the same amount to both but that's a function of the working day not of the international situation.)

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

this place is keeping my sanity today and hopefully during the aftermath of dubya's tantrum, much as it did on 9/11 and the aftermath therefrom.

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:58 (twenty-three years ago)

some people deal with 'international strife' by focussing more on their personal stuff ( or selves ) i think. maybe it makes the whole thing come within 'coping range'?
my problems have more or less faded into irrelevance in the face of the impending death of many people, and i doubt that i could be bothered with anyone trying to whine at me right now about petty crap, or drivel on about themselves.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 20 March 2003 00:59 (twenty-three years ago)

(It helps that I don't have any real problems right now)

(Other than living in a world gone mad, but even then I'm pretty damn well off)

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:03 (twenty-three years ago)

i feel like there's not much i can do about international strife. so i worry about my own problems. shallow? yes. gets me through the day? yes.

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:06 (twenty-three years ago)

(hah, i like how everyone is reading this as me looking down on them for worrying about their lives still, when really it's an admission that i am in reality sliding into a hermit-like depression unseen for many moons)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:08 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm experiencing the opposite - normally i would be an antisocial SOB but at the moment i feel like going out and being with peeps, very unlike me

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:11 (twenty-three years ago)

that i am in reality sliding into a hermit-like depression unseen for many moons

You're not alone with that. I'm at a loss at how to address it.

― Sean (Sean), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:14 (twenty-three years ago)

BOOZE!!!

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:17 (twenty-three years ago)

hey sean and jess KICK IT UP A NOTCH! Boo-yaaah!

(my pathetic attempt to make you dudes smile)

also:
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: fuck her

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:17 (twenty-three years ago)

(that's supposably a joke)

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:18 (twenty-three years ago)

hahaha

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:19 (twenty-three years ago)

(seriously)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I've found myself not being annoyed at anyone's percieved shallowness neccesarily, but I'm certainly withdrawing into my own little world, and by extension I guess being selfish in a way, to cope. I have stopped watching the news and reading most papers, the rhetoric and media spin is really starting to get on my tits.

A smart, outspoken socialst type friend of mine wrote some interesting thoughts the other day about cliches in the time of war and in particular focussed on the phrase "the banality of evil". He basically said the phrase is misunderstood not as evil being banal, but rather as banality (or apathy if you will) being evil.

And I felt strangely guilty for wanting to look after my own sanity in these times. Should I be doing more? I don't know what to do that wouldnt just send me mad from worry to be honest...

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Ugh, I should proofread before I hit send. I meant to say He basically said the phrase is misunderstood - it is not evil that is banal, but rather as banality (or apathy if you will) being evil.

I wish you could go back and edit posts on this thing!

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Last night I overloaded on terror, which is hard for me to do as I'm usually a news junkie. I have a bunch of stressful stuff going on at work and it's hard to deal with that when it's even more obvious than usual that none of it will matter in a hundred years, or maybe even next week when WE'RE ALL DEAD. And then you feel bad for feeling bad and it all spirals in on itself.

So I changed my brain chemistry and watched Mr. Mom. Escapism is sometimes the only way. Even an hour's vacation can put things in perspective.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:38 (twenty-three years ago)

(that's supposably a joke)

so's that spelling ;-)

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Thursday, 20 March 2003 01:58 (twenty-three years ago)

i think supposably is legit

― ron (ron), Thursday, 20 March 2003 02:09 (twenty-three years ago)

really? maybe people say it differently here - makes sense though - able to be supposed??

i had too much wine and a strong muscle relaxant last night and it's done something bad to my brain, which as far as i know is not a muscle, so it's a bit worrying.

sorry fritz.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Thursday, 20 March 2003 02:14 (twenty-three years ago)

it was meant as a joke obviousably

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 20 March 2003 02:27 (twenty-three years ago)

that i am in reality sliding into a hermit-like depression unseen for many moons
You're not alone with that. I'm at a loss at how to address it.

Yup, same here. And the narcissism does sorta bother me... when I get depressed I either become v. withdrawn or become social as a way of forgetting about my problems and remembering to care about other people... I'm not typically a whiner, not a particuarly loud/persistent one, anyway, and I do find it a little hard to take when someone springboards their pet poutabouts into yet another night of PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I've actually had to stop being friends with people because of these tendencies.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 20 March 2003 02:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I consider myself pretty lucky in that I don't go through depressive phases too often, but boy did it hit me last night. I only slept for three hours. I tried a valium and even that didn't help.

I had actually forgotten what real despair felt like, not just a "bad mood" or "down in the dumps"; but a real crushing, claustrophobic feeling of impending insanity, inability to concentrate, etc. I hadn't felt that way since the aftermath of 9/11.

Today has been a little better, oddly enough.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 20 March 2003 02:53 (twenty-three years ago)

I mean, it's the helplessness. I feel ashamed; all because of that prick Bush, I hate myself.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 20 March 2003 02:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Just out of curiousity, wouldn't this thread be the very definition of narcissism? It's not meant to call you specifically out at all, jess. It just strikes me as funny. "Other people are so narcissitic and shallow, let me talk about how that bothers ME!"

Heh, I'm not helping anyone rise above their depression here, am I? Just ignore my jocular mood.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 20 March 2003 03:01 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't mean to be narcissistic myself, but tomorrow is my birthday.

fuck you, george walker bush.

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 20 March 2003 03:08 (twenty-three years ago)

why does everyone assume that any/every thread on ILX is solely about the person who started it?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 03:11 (twenty-three years ago)

i dont

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 20 March 2003 03:12 (twenty-three years ago)

also, i think this:

pretty well covers my stance.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 03:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Jess - if it helps, I look forward to your posts. I appreciate your intentions with respect to this board.

y'all need to read Christopher Lasch's The Culture of Narcissism

however, what does any of this have to do with the war? you're helpless all the time.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 20 March 2003 03:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll tell you what made me angry today (I rarely get angry). My coworker, a nice girl who nonetheless is a bit of a dope for thinking herself ever-so world-weary and cynical and seen-it-all, always spouting this two-bit pessimism. Very high school. Today I drove her to the L and her only comment on the war and politics was that it was stupid to do anything, there's always going to be violence and war, everyone is corrupt--she said it gleefully like she was speaking some forbidden truth that would amaze me. I told her, in so many words and in increasingly exasperated tones, that her cynicism was just a cover for not thinking about the world, not wanting to know about specific actions and events and ideas. I shouldn't get upset at all, she's just an idiot.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 20 March 2003 05:06 (twenty-three years ago)

hah she sounds like she'd fit in perfectly around here. < /snark>

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 05:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I just realized why Jess has a girlfriend and I don't

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 20 March 2003 05:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm a pussy?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 05:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm depressed as well, but I blame the chemtrails in the sky for that.

― jonas lefrel (jonas lefrel), Thursday, 20 March 2003 06:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I almost wish all my friends were more narcissistic right now.. but most seriously think the end times are any day now.. and while I certainly am very very upset about the war, I get even more upset when people give up and become nihilistic so easily.
I want to hear more "brian, let me bitch to you about my problems right now" as opposed to "brian, we are all going to die, aren't we".

(sigh... I really shouldn't talk, because I felt the same way regarding my job situation until recently. Now I know better, and won't repeat that mistake ever again.)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 20 March 2003 07:46 (twenty-three years ago)

(I know what it's like to be extremely sensitive to the pain of others. I could not function, period, after 9/11.. and I was on the opposite corner of the country of the actual tragedies. I realized, then, what little use I was to myself and my friends -- and just had to find a way to deal with it, at the risk of seeming selfish or narcissistic.)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 20 March 2003 08:00 (twenty-three years ago)

INTERNATIONAL S TRIFE in 03 muhfUCKaahzhzz

― TRIFE, Thursday, 20 March 2003 09:03 (twenty-three years ago)

that made my day anyway

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 20 March 2003 10:25 (twenty-three years ago)

ethan's narcissism bothers me year round

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Like this houseguest I had named Arik... It was Sept.11 2001, and I woke up running into his room to turn on the TV after my mother called and told me what was happening. I go "Holy shit Arik... LOOK!" And the motherfucker goes "Oh, do you think this is going to delay my flight for tomorrow?" and goes back to sleep!

Which of course it was delayed - and he spent the next week talking to his friends back home [on my phone bill] talking about what a tragedy it is for him and how he's dealing with his emotions after seeing it first hand [bitch, you fell back asleep and watched the rerplay on CNN like everyone else], and basically using the "international strife" to get sympathy or whatever from his friends back home. Also, every time Aaron Brown & Wolf Blitzer revealed some new bit of information on CNN, he would call his friends back home [on my phone bill] and repeat what he just heard like he himself is on assignment for the BBC or something "Apparently, from what I gather here in New York, is that it's the work of some Muslim fundamentalist group called, um, Al-Qaeda..."...

He was always a whining narcissistic bastard, but yes, it DID bother me way more during the WTC attack-aftermath.

― phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 20 March 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

oh, i should have mentioned that this took place in brooklyn.

― phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 20 March 2003 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm the opposite - this period of international strife seems to be coinciding with a point at which my day-to-day life seems to be getting better and better (assuming we don't all die in the next month, of course). I went for a walk in the park this lunchtime, it was sunny and warm and there were daffodils everywhere and people were lying out on the grass and for a while I forgot about the hell that was going on hundreds of miles away and just felt... content. This, or similar things, have happened to me loads in the past few weeks and I'm sure I'm not alone... likewise I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling a pang of guilt afterwards. What the fuck... we've got a gift here, excuse me if I enjoy it and appreciate it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 20 March 2003 15:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm also interested to know if those of us who did most of their growing up over a period of (relative) international stability (ie from the end of the Cold War up until 10th September 2001) are likely to feel a different level of unease from people who remember other periods of major international strife... I for one can't remember a time when I've been so painfully conscious of how precarious the international situation is.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 20 March 2003 15:21 (twenty-three years ago)

(i might be more like matt - my life isnt particularly great right now, though - if i hadnt been cooped up in the house for two days because a. i'm sick and b. it's been raining non-stop for two weeks now.)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 15:27 (twenty-three years ago)

The Cold War was less scary to me, at least. I'm talking about the '80s period more or less, where things were pretty stable-ish. It never seemed like anyone would be asshole enough to start a nuclear war, somehow. Terrorism is a different thing entirely.

I don't feel very narcissistic. I wonder if a better term would be egocentricity -- I'll plead guilty there, although all this shit has diverted some of my attention away from my own stuff. I can think of better distractions...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 20 March 2003 16:23 (twenty-three years ago)

I've always been aware of terrorism. I was more scared when Yeltsin said "I fear I don't have much time" and that right wing guy was popular in Russia. And then the Balkans, and then North Korea just before the last leader died.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 20 March 2003 18:06 (twenty-three years ago)

But, I've always been a terrible worrier about international events, but I try to be calmer about it these days, because in the past I've been worried about the consequences on me..."oh no, I'll get called up" or "such and such will get involved and then it'll be WW3". So, yeah, I guess the 'narcissism' of others doesn't bother me in times of international strife. Coz I think the stress and worry can impact on people's lives, and make things seem worse. So, you should try your best to be there for people who are having a hard time.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 20 March 2003 18:23 (twenty-three years ago)

why does everyone assume that any/every thread on ILX is solely about the person who started it?

jess, I believe that's why I rather specifically said in my post that my comments WEREN'T directed at you simply for starting the thread. Actually, there was a very specific post that prompted me pointing out that whinging about how other people's supposed narcissism bothers YOU is indeed the same thing as what they are doing, and that had nothing to do with the majority of this thread.

phil-two, by the way, that story is incredible. I mean, that's not really general self-centeredness human nature stuff, that's like sociopathic behavior.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 20 March 2003 18:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Once again, maybe out of place, me being more of a reader here than a writer, but hell...

This whole thing is driving me nuts...I may be narcissistic, but I feel super jealous of folks who have friends to go out with, tv to watch, movies to see, fast internet etc. I'm miles away from friends and family (and I chose to do this, so I have no one to blame but myself) and, though I came here (Kingston) to avoid being narcissistic and actually DO something, I can't help feeling like I should have stayed home. (I'm a volunteer at an NGO btw)

― cybele, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I do hate my narcissism, BTW. I went out today and getting ready I spent a lot of time worrying about my complexion. The world's coming to an end and I'm worried about my skin! Someone shoot me.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I told her, in so many words and in increasingly exasperated tones, that her cynicism was just a cover for not thinking about the world, not wanting to know about specific actions and events and ideas. I shouldn't get upset at all, she's just an idiot.

Why does not wanting to think about 'the world' make you an idiot? Because it doesn't fit *your* notions of what someone should be thinking about? Perhaps she doesn't want to waste the short amount of time she has on Earth by researching, studying, debating, protesting shit esp since it will most likely yield few rewards. She may be an idiot for not admitting her true feelings, but you may be a self-righteous snob.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

(I have to remember to wear clean pants when the bomb drops, tho'...)

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:19 (twenty-three years ago)

(ignoring second to last post)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:20 (twenty-three years ago)

(would a lack of posting be a better way to ignore something?)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:22 (twenty-three years ago)

(not if it's ignoring in the "silent treatment" sense of the word.)

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:23 (twenty-three years ago)

(sssshhhh)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

(I love maturity!)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

(pointed faux-silence is less mature than outright name-calling?)

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:29 (twenty-three years ago)

OK: I'm willing to accept being a "self-righteous snob" if I can continue to believe that my coworker was being an idiot for saying the things she said.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

(well I dunno...why don't you ask amateurist since he has done both)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:31 (twenty-three years ago)

(so have you, oops!)

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, I said myself that she may be an idiot...esp if she thinks being detached and jaded makes her somehow better than those who are passionate about things. I guess all I'm saying is dif strokes for dif folks--if someone wishes to remove all politics from their life cuz they think it'll make them happier than good for them. I wouldn't call them an idiot simply for that.(I'm sure you have other reasons)

(i never did the silent thing hstencil, plus I tried to qualify my insult w/'may be'...I really meant that--he may be an idiot (if he thinks you're an idiot if you're not 'involved' or something) but he may not be)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

NB: Being indifferent is not the same as whining ostentatiously about how cynical and indifferent you are.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:39 (twenty-three years ago)

(my post was more in ref. to your name-calling, oops. Even if you don't like what Amateurist had to post, calling him a "self-righteous snob," even with the "may" qualifier, is bullshit.)

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:42 (twenty-three years ago)

(but calling someone an idiot for not liking what they have to say is fine?)(it's fine by me)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:48 (twenty-three years ago)

(no of course it's not! That's my point: if you want to express to Amateurist how you think he was wrong, it's pretty damn silly to do the exact same thing yourself!)

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

don't make me get all fascist on this thread

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

(jess stop yelling)

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

(hstencil, that was my point--putting a mirror up to him)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

(well it didn't work too well, if you ask me. It was like holding a mirror up to yourself. But whatever, no big deal. I should shutup before emperor jess gets mad.)

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:53 (twenty-three years ago)

(why is everybody whispering.

I HEAR ALL.

)

now let's all forget our problems with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Amateurist says something-->I point the finger at him-->hstencil points the finger at me--> ? points the finger at hstencil

Yay! This is fun!

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:56 (twenty-three years ago)

? points the finger at hstencil

that'd be everyone on the "I blame hstencil" thread, then.

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Should be: Amateurist points the finger at some girl-->I point the finger at him-->hstencil points the finger at me--> ? points the finger at hstencil

(yes, *that* finger)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

didn't AC/DC sing some song about "putting the finger" on someone?

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

they certainly sang about putting the finger in someone at some point

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 20:00 (twenty-three years ago)

They also sang about big balls, but have yet to sing about tiger balm nuts.

― hstencil, Thursday, 20 March 2003 20:01 (twenty-three years ago)

patience, my boy

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 20:02 (twenty-three years ago)

this thread has degenerated into a parody of the parody of itself

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 20 March 2003 20:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I blame ~~hstencil~~ me

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 20:16 (twenty-three years ago)

(I thought it was just me who deployed impertinent, irritating overuse of parentheses.)

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:05 (twenty-three years ago)

[{(((((((((((((((n(o)(p)e))))))))))))))))))))}]

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I renounce this thread, my comments included.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

isn't "international strife" kind of a permanent condition though?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 6 September 2004 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

the narcissism of others bothers me most when i'm mired in my own self-centered self-obsessed narcissism. i'm unique though.

― dan (dan), Monday, 6 September 2004 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

people who think they're foreign policy experts when the sum total of their knowledge derives from having seen farenheit 911 kind of bother me.

― dan (dan), Monday, 6 September 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

At work I do tend to be troubled by people who bitch and moan about something as minor as a particular piece of footage missing while, you know, several hundred school children are being killed by terrorists. =/

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 6 September 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

but that's what life is all about :-(

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 6 September 2004 05:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Me not being narcissistic means the terrorists have already won.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Monday, 6 September 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

My original post to this thread is terribly unhelpful.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Booze defeats terrorists.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

If you really wanted to fuck shit up in a major metropolitan area of the US, all you'd have to do is hide your bomb in a couch and leave it out on the sidewalk.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude if hiding "bombs" in couches is a terrorist offense then I'm Vanzetti.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you ever killed someone... with your bombs?

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

With the right media coverage it's very effective in furthering the recognition of my goals.

For some reason I'm imagining some bum dragging a nasty old couch into a corner, dozing off on it, and when a bomb goes off under the cushions he just gets this little annoyed look and goes back to sleep.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

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does the narcissism of others bother you more during times of "international strife"?

I HEAR ALL.