Internet Cafe Perverts

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REAL TIME BROADCAST - right this second I'm in one of those hole-in-the-wall net cafes where you can see what's on other people's screens. This guy had a screen up with a rear view of a naked woman with shit dripping out of her ass. He had it up (the PICTURE I mean - yeech) for about 10 minutes, then was obviously trying to close it and it wouldn't! Then he glanced around furtively and switched the computer off, afterwards walking up to the counter (holding a coat over the front of his trousers) probably saying it 'crashed'. Now he's back again and there's pictures of chicks in schoolgirl uniforms getting spanked on the screen! Does he imagine nobody can see this? I hope so because if not, that's even worse!

― dave q, Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Now he's back to the shit pictures! Other people are starting to notice too, this is too funny. Looks to be in his early 40s, purple top

― dave q, Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Omifuckingod he's got the 'Print' thing up. The poor woman at the counter. I know her tho, she'd kill him easy

― dave q, Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

are you in shephards bush?

― james (james), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

oooh no pun intended

― james (james), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Guy sitting across from me just glanced at him, then looked at me with this "do u believe that fucker" look. Pervo is on 'Spank-O-Vision' now.

― dave q, Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Dom joly isn't about is he you never know you could find yourself on channel 4 soon

― james (james), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Shut the Fuck Up! This is humiliating!!!

― The Man In the Purple Top (rwillmsen), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Smile, Dave Q! You're on Candid Camera!

― 4mateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Regular porn maybe but shit pictures?

Haha his time ran out, he just did a dash to the counter and back to switch on again. This guy looks really hot and bothered, steam coming out of his ears. Fuckin' hell I have to get out of here this is too much

― dave q, Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:19 (twenty-three years ago)

james last post makes my brain hurt

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, that's my webcam you're dissing, anyway.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:20 (twenty-three years ago)

pass him a napkin with "ilx.wh3rd.net/newanswers.php?board=1" scrawled on it as you leave

― Aaron A., Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:23 (twenty-three years ago)

I fear what would happen to such a napkin

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"ah, thanks mate"

― Aaron A., Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:27 (twenty-three years ago)

used to wipe away the sweat of anticipation (in all serious though buy a mag for fucks sake, unless he's getting off on the threat of being caught)

The thing that gets me though - purple i mean i haven't seen a man wear purple since those "man about the house re-runs"

― james (james), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not being the devil's advocate but it's more likely that somebody sent him an email attachment and he didn't know what was in it. Not that it's ever happened to me though..

― Gatinha (rwillmsen), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh wait no forget that, i just read the first couple of posts again.

― Gatinha (rwillmsen), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:36 (twenty-three years ago)

...(holding a coat over the front of his trousers) probably saying it 'crashed'.

Just. Too. Easy.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Is 'dick crashing' a popular concept where you're from, nick?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:46 (twenty-three years ago)

It's kind of like jousting.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:48 (twenty-three years ago)

i have a pub near me called the two fighting cocks, its in saffron walden should you ever be in the area

― james (james), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I live in Richmond, Virginia, USA, but I think I can reach.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:58 (twenty-three years ago)

they don't have concepts where nickalicious is from

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 20 March 2003 21:58 (twenty-three years ago)

its a very historic area - there is a nineteen eighties re-creation of an american fort called mount fitchet that visitors love, would a re-created fort and a funny pub tempt you??

― james (james), Thursday, 20 March 2003 22:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Only as much as scat porn in a net cafe.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Friday, 21 March 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

they don't have concepts where nickalicious is from

This is true. We've got hearsay, assumptions, prejudices, ideals, canons, stereotypes, theories, but for some reason no concepts. Some attribute it to that funky funky Kentucky ganja.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 21 March 2003 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

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