mood swings

Tactic #1 is to talk to someone at health services. I understand that the odds are they are irredeemably crap but also odds are they've at least cracked a book on treating depression (which is my wild guess at your underlying issue) and also if they mess you up more you can sue them and own the school.

OK, I'm going to take this at face value and assume that it is a genuine RFI, and not a troll, and therefore avoid facetious one-liners.

I'd be careful to avoid trying to stick any labels such as "bipolar" or "mood disorders" or anything like that on your problems. Because many people go through some major mood readjustments and suchlike problems when getting used to a new environment and a whole new social scene, especially one like college. To a certain extent, I'd say that it was pretty "normal" what you were going through.

Drinking doesn't help. I'll state that off the bat, but, you know, it sounds like you know that. If you are experiencing moodswings, it does make them worse.

Sounds stupid and unhelpful, but sometimes the simplest things are the things that are actually the answer - make sure that you are getting enough sleep, that's a biggie. Make sure that you are eating healthily - some alcohol-related mood problems are down to cravings either for sugar or for various vitamins. And get regular exercise - the serotonin released during exercise goes a long way towards evening out moodswings.

Sorry if that's not as exciting as "you're mad, go to the doctor and get some lithium" but really, give it a try.

Also, the social life thing seems U&K. It *does* seem hard to make friends at Uni, but the good news is, everyone around you is in exactly the same boat. Join some societies, do that sort of thing.

If you try all this and it doesn't work, see if your Uni has some sort of counselling centre. I practically lived there when I was at school...

Hope that helps.

this is a genuine rfi, thanks for the practical advice, this is exactly what im looking for (its much more useful than outpourings of false sympathy anyway). i'm not looking to go to a doctor. i've been that way before, and i didnt find it particularly useful. i think going to a doctor again would just be adding an extra level of complication to it. i want to do something practical to help myself, so your suggestions are very useful Kate, thankyou.

i will try to get some good sleep tonight

Going to a doctor isn't a bad idea just because it didn't work out the first time.

Also, remember "sleep is a pattern" as my mother used to drill into my head over and over. Going 3 or 4 nights in a row without sleep, and then having a massive sleep binge is actually *counter-productive* and makes moodswings worse - it's a classic symptom of Bipolar depression. Getting a regular amount of sleep at regular times on a regular basis is what you want to be aiming for.

Good luck with it, I hope that you're able to overcome this!

i guess so Dan, it is a different town and all, so maybe the health service will be better here. i just want to give it a few weeks trying to sort this out on my own, now ive recognised its become a big problem. but if it gets worse i will probably have to contact them

I second (third?) going to a doctor. I also don't want to try and diagnose you based on a couple of internet posts but what you're describing certainly sounds similar to bipolar disorder.

If you're bipolar you aren't "crazy" and old drugs like lithium are hardly used anymore. Even if you chose not to use medication therapy you should still investigate this witha professional so you can at least be informed and learn of the different ways you can cope with your moods.

hmm im gonna have to sleep on all this, it gets more confusing the more i think about it.

Kate is completely OTM in the 3rd post down.

Look, no offense, Sam, but I think you're jumping to conclusions. Reccomending that someone go see a psychiatric doctor as a first recourse just seems a little extreme.

Being in a new situation, such as going to college, can lead to all kinds of adjustment issues. I think it's better to *try* simple and "obvious" solutions like establishing a regular structure and also "soft" solutions such as sleep and exercise modification *first*. If that doesn't work, try a counceller, or just someone to talk to. (I think in some cases, even asking for advice on a messageboard *can* serve this function.) If none of these things work, *then* go to a medical doctor.

It's like, when someone says to me, "I have a headache". What's the first thing most people do? Take a pill. What's the first thing I do? Have a glass of water, because dehydration is the number one cause of headaches. (Half the time I swear it's the glass of water that people take the pill with that cures the problem.) Check the light situation to make sure it's not glare or dimness, go to the loo, things like that. THEN if none of those things work, I take a pill.

I know it's an inadequate comparison, but honestly. Reaching for a medical solution every time there is a problem often ameliorates the symptoms and does nothing about the cause.

I just think legtimate mental illness goes undiagnosed and untreated too often. I have "lost" (both literally and metaphorically) too many friends because of this. It makes me angry.

That said just getting diagnosed and treated by professionals doesn't immediately and effortlessly solve your problems. I'm living proof of this.

I agree with Sam on both points.

well, heres an update. im still not sure about going to a doctor. i think theres still options. more worryingly i get the impression everyone around me sorta knows im not healthy and keep their distance accordingly (its a classic irony that when i need a few people to lean on theres no one close enough to me to talk to, i guess im not much fun to be around anymore though). to top it all off, i feel like im making these huge social faux-pas. i won't think about them while im out trying to have fun, i'll just be boozing away, either talking loads of shit or sometimes just mostly silent if im not really in the mood. either way i wake up with regretting what i said or what i didnt say. these things take on more importance every day, yet i know most of them wont matter in reality. it's just the thought that they might matter that worries me. I got some good sleep last night. sometimes i sleep brilliantly, i could sleep all day, and last night was one of those times, got more sleep than i have in ages. i will probably do the same tonight, my eye is hurting a bit anyway, and i have an essay to finish off, but i can't concentrate cos im really feeling pretty sad today. anyway, just gotta keep on plodding along i feel, trying to do ordinary things and trying to keep up an approachable appearance.

I don't think that a doctor has to be everyone's first move whenever they feel bad, but it doesn't have to be something resisted. You don't have to go with it if they prescribe drugs or whatever, but you might get some extra info about what might be wrong, and some extra options of possible treatment or help. I see no harm in a visit to the GP. I think people regard it as shameful, some sort of failure, and I wish people didn't.

There is a difference between "shameful" and "drastic". I thought I was pointing that out with my headache analogy, but the problem is that people who are "out" about their mental illnesses often want everyone else to be "out" about them too, regardless of if they actually have them or not.

loggedout, I can relate quite precisely. I went through a Life Of The Party phase too where I would recieve a flood of phone calls on Thursday or Friday evening because people just loved my presence at parties. I wouldn't talk to these people until they called me the following weekend. I, like you, would do a mental inventory of the night before, and despite making many new friends, solidifying past friendships, making people laugh, generally having a blast, all I could focus on was, "Oh did I go too far with ____? Did I ignore _____ by accident? Did _____ think I was being an idiot?" I know, it's irrational, stupid, but automatic. Thankfully I had a best friend whose post-party motto was "Nobody cares THAT MUCH." She was very in touch with her insecurity and natural weakness and helped me get in touch with mine. It was very easy for me to try to pummel anxiety or depression attacks into oblivion by simply getting back into a party state, which doesn't work very well drinking by myself. I even manufactured my own brand of Tourette's: when I recalled something embarrassing I may have done, I blurted out a vague curse into the air. When I started gaining control, I turned that curse into a dismissive, "Nobody cares THAT MUCH." Then I got on with my day. Good luck.

NOBODY CARES THAT MUCH!

The problem is that in certain circumstances, people DO CARE TOO MUCH, and if you are crossing the line on a regular basis, and passing over from being entertaining to BEING THE ENTERTAINMENT, especially in a way that is self destructive, then it can alienate people, and that does matter.

I've very much been in that situation.

give up booze.

Yes Kate I will concede that that could happen. There's that little shift when people that used to say, "You're a riot" in total encouragement and partnership start saying it with a hint of worry and will not look you in the eye. But I guess my approach would be to not care about people who just avoid you instead of pulling you aside and telling you you're going a touch too hard.

Kate you are very correct, by the way, about 'outness'. It's like some people get irritated when they suspect everyone around them is putting up a front when in reality they are languishing in mental distress like they should be!

And logged out, I know what you mean when you feel like your charisma goes out the window in the "normal" world. It's like you live for Friday night because that's when you shine, when you matter. It goes from a near contempt for 'squares' on Sunday morning to a crushing insecurity come Wednesday. Keep your head up.

There is a difference between "not caring what people think" (which is very good and very liberating) and "not caring what people feel" (which is insensitive to downright harmful). Sometimes people pull you aside and tell you to calm down because they care about you, and are afraid that you are hurting yourself, especially if booze is involved. Those are the people you should care about how they FEEL.

And the things DQ describes are why I *don't* think you're suffering from "BiPolar", Logged Out. Because the whole cycle of self esteem and highness while partying, combined with a crash of self doubt when the party's over is NOT the same thing as Bipolar Disorder.

i don't think its bipolar either, DQ's example seems to fit me pretty well a lot of the time. im trying to get a bit more balance in my life, take care of myself and get plenty of rest, and everything like that. you should see the bags under my eyes, they don't even go away anymore. im just gonna try and relax a few days with the few people here i feel comfortable with, and then maybe go out less regularly, say just at the weekend. im gonna give it a few weeks and see how im doin then.

I think you've got the right idea, there, Logged Out. Try this for a few weeks, and see how you feel. Good luck, and hope you feel groovier soon!

See my manic phases sound like what you guys (logged out and DQ) are describing. I guess the difference is I really feel I have no control over myself when I'm like this.

Sometimes I can see the escalation as it's coming. And if I"m lucky I think "Oh fuck" and take steps to reign it in. Unfortunately I'm usually already too far gone to stop it by will alone. All it takes is a couple of days off my MS or a drastic change in routine and I'll hit a state like this. I do stupid shit and put myself in risk when I'm like this. No matter how much fun it is at the time I know it's dangerous.

I rapid cycle which means I can be flying high one day and bottoming out with a razor in hand the next. It's maddening and makes trying to regulate my life through mere self-discpline nearly impossible.

Also I don't think I made it quite clear above that I understand people choosing not to go the medication route. In the years since I was diagnosed with clinical depression and then bipolar disorder there have been a few times when I *chose* to go off medication. It was right for me at the time but never turned out to be a good idea. For me personally, I must find a way to live on medication (and find the right combo of meds as well.) This doesn't mean I like it. I fucking hate my medication. I detest a lot of the side effects and my current meds are just the lesser of the evils. I've had a lot of bad and scary side effects with ones I've taken in the past. Still, I've seen what life is like without them and know it is scarier.

There is no easy option when it comes to mental illness.