Knowing when the love is wrong

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It's a fine f*&ckin' line. She's 19 and I'm not. I'm really not. I'm so not 19. Even if I was 25, this wouldn't be a problem.
But I'm not.
I know for a fact that she is interested. I know for a fact that I'm smitten. (And currently drunk). But I'm kinda keeping things at arms-length cuz of the age difference (a decade or so).
What I really want is for you to give me your blessings.

― Christian Rawk (Christian Rawk), Sunday, 11 January 2004 07:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't be a pussy. Take that shit.

― ModJ (ModJ), Sunday, 11 January 2004 07:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I went out for a while with someone who's 15 years younger than me. Just go for it. You're smitten, she wants you... what's stopping you?

― Sean (Sean), Sunday, 11 January 2004 08:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, is this age difference what makes the love, in your word, "wrong" ?

― Sean (Sean), Sunday, 11 January 2004 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

19=legal. what's the problem?

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 11 January 2004 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

19 year old girls tend to be pretty messed up and insecure, which is probably why you see so many of them with 29 year old guys, albeit for short periods of time. The girls are eager to do something where they can feel older than they actually are and the guys probably just want to reclaim some of their spent youth and tap some ass. It's a win-win situation, really, just so long as you're not expecting anything long-term and don't mind meeting her friends who'll no doubt listen to shitty music and wear better clothes than you.

― may pang (maypang), Sunday, 11 January 2004 08:26 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't think theres a problem. unless the decade gap makes you nine. which IS a problem. so, as long as your not nine, you have my blessings :-)

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Sunday, 11 January 2004 09:03 (twenty-two years ago)

never any harm in giving it a try.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Sunday, 11 January 2004 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

And if you're nine you shouldn't be drunk!

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 11 January 2004 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

May Pang OTM.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 11 January 2004 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

If you have reservations about the age gap thing then you probably should [a] GET OVER THEM NOW or [b] just not go there. Else you will find yrself giving her a drunken talk in a month's or maybe a year's time abt how she is far too sweet and innocent and beautiful to be wasting her time with someone like you and needs to date boys her own age. That talk is always a downer.

Other than that, go forth, make merry, and wear protective clothing if you go to meet her daddy.

― petra jane (petra jane), Sunday, 11 January 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

My parents have a 12 1/2 year age gap, and have been happily married for over 25 years. The gap was the other way round, though: my dad was about 19 when they first started seeing each other, and my mum was in her 30s.

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 11 January 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Dad's first marriage: he was 29 and she was 17 (this was 1949 though). It lasted 11 years then they divorced.

Dad's second marriage (to my Mum): he was 47 and she was 35. they are still together after 35 years.

so I would say large age gaps needn't be a problem - and it would appear that my Dad always goes for women 12 years his junior, but the older *both* parties are the more experience of life they'll have and the more likely the relationship is to last (probably).

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 11 January 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Second example doesn't count, Mark, as age gaps become less relevant as absolute ages get larger.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Sunday, 11 January 2004 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

My advice, btw, is to sober up, figure out what you want to do, and just follow that instinct, whichever way it may be.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Sunday, 11 January 2004 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

following instinct isn't always the best idea. sometimes it's better to think something through + make a rational decision. personally, instincts get me in trouble every time. girls can be "messed up and insecure" at any age really, so if she's mature enough - why not i say.

― dyson (dyson), Sunday, 11 January 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I am 10 years younger than my bf and it doesn't bother anyone. But I have in the past been 8 years younger and I was very aware of that. So I agree that it depends how old you both are, and - tritely enough - other characteristics of the people involved.

― isadora (isadora), Sunday, 11 January 2004 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got to learn to stop posting when I'm drunk.
I have read and considered your advice (and/or goading) and have made a decision. I will follow my instincts — which usually isn't a good idea, but the results are invariably entertaining.

― Christian Rawk (Christian Rawk), Sunday, 11 January 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Entertainment is always better than sense.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 11 January 2004 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

and your instincts tell you to...¿

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Important clarification required: you don't say whether 'she' is human or not.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha "wrong"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

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