ever turned someone gay¿

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apparently i have.
i bumped into an old fling saturday - we had a brief "relationship" a year ago december.
she only listened to rock + only band that started with "the" (strokes, hives, etc.).
so i see her at a trance party and although she looked the same she had changed... alot. like more than just her taste in music.
after i came up and said hello she introduced me to the girl sitting on her lap as her girlfriend. when i asked how long "this" had been going on for she told me that they had been dating about a year. hmmm - a month after i had last seen he.
when i told my friends about this i took on randal's philosophy (from the clerks cartoon series):

randal to hard core lesbo ex g/f: "so after me, no other man would do"
girl: (in a deep, deep voice): "something like that"
randal: "yes¡"

seriously tho - i'm not conceded enough to think for a second i had anything to do with steering her towards an alternative lifestyle - my question: has anything like this happened to anyone else + what are your thoughts.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

her girlfriend was smokin hot too¡

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

How old is she? Is she a LUG?

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Alternately, maybe you screw so great she could never be with another man agan...

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

half the gay dudes in Saskatchewan are gay because of me. Because I'm so hottt. They all want a piece of my hetero ass.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

x-post
that was randal's thoughts. what is a lug¿ and she is 20.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

LUG = Lesbian Untill Graduation

20 is right there in the demographic

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the phrase "turn gay". Like "woah slow down, my street's coming up. merge left here...okay, now turn gay. third stop on the right. thanks."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

x-post
possibly. i didn't ask. but a 1 year relationship¿ sounds kinda serious.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha, nick, turn gay = wrong way on a one way street¡

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

When I was splitting up with a girlfriend a few years ago, she told me that she'd had more than one affair. One with a bloke that I knew, and two others with girls. When I got angry about the bloke but not about the girls she called me 'sexist'. Like I was the bad guy!

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

what the fuck were you doing at a trance party?

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

she's got a point tho Dave

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, but...

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

what the fuck were you doing at a trance party?
i know i know. shame. i was drinking right next door - decent plans fell through - i knew people that were there - it was free. too cold to walk anywhere else. ummm, also there were drugs.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I was dating a girl who had a big affair with a girl and just before she dumped was seen making out with this girl (her best friend)(and a few times some guy) in every shitty makeout bar in town.
But I don't think she was really gay. I think her friend was, and that her friend was just very very possessive, and probably better at a few things than I would be for another two years.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe calling me 'sexist' was her way of alleviating the guilt? Or my tolerance of the lesbian affairs was really big-hearted on my part? It's quite saintly in a way. And a bit sexist.

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

And a bit hott.

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got a friend who's just turned a girl straight. Does that count?

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

she's got a point tho Dave
i could see why a girl having an affair with another girl would be a bit more unserstandable. lets face it, guys and girl are different in many ways and perhaps there was something that she was looking for that only a female could provide. although this was not dave's argument - this is why i would not be quite as mad about a girl as opposed to a guy. also: it is hott.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

every shitty makeout bar in town.

???

I don't know that I've been to anything I would characterize as a "makeout" bar.

Also, girlfriend having an affair with a girl is permissable because it = hmmm, maybe you could bring her over sometime?

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Dave, completely off topic, are you an artist with a friend called Esther?

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I could see her attraction to the girls, so I had a bit more sympathy. They were always very friendly to me, but obviously not as friendly as they were to her.

By the way, I don't think I qualify for turning a girl gay, though, 'cos it didn't last long. She's married with a kid. Or maybe one of her girlfriends turned her straight? This is getting too complicated now.

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

er, yes. Which Esther are you talking about, the curator or the cultural theorist?

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

More than one Esther?

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Reminds me of a incident back in college. Friend "J" bursts into off-campus hovel we call home and immediately heads to `fridge and grabs several beers. He proceeds to swig down a beer in one, swift sitting. Upon completion, he repeats with another beer. We ask: "Is something wrong, J?" Turns out he'd just walked in on his intensely attractive girlfriend "L" in the process of "experimenting" with her equally attractive female friend "D" (specifically 69'ing, we're duly informed). Our curiosity *IMMEDIATELY* piqued, we feverishly quiz "J" for details. Turns out, he did a 180 and split. Incredulous, we proceed to berate J for not seizing the Penthouse Forum-suited opportunity, but he was having none of it. When he spoke with "L" later, he says, she apparently explained that she felt like broadening her horizons, but she still wanted to continue with him. He didn't see it that way, and they broke up.....prompting us to brand-him a jackass for passing up a wealth of potential future opportunities.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

That should have read an incident, er...incidentally.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Esther the curator who is also teaching at TVU, surname very royal.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow Alex, you lived in Delta House?

― TOMBOT, Monday, 12 January 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

not quite.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, I know Esther! Have we met or have you seen my work or something? (I didn't expect to be recognised talking about being cuckolded by a girl!)

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, both - I even think you gave her the ticket that let us crash the British island party at the Venice Biennale a few years back! How funny. However it was the name recognition wot done it. Gonna be out on Thursday?

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Say hello for me!

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

re: makeout bars

it's another term for "singles bars" or young 'uns who get so loaded they gotta suck face bars"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Well point me in the right direction and pucker up.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

but no, to my knowledge, I have never 'turned' anyone gay.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I confess to being slightly paranoid now, and am wondering if I should call all old boyfriends to ask, 'hey, you still like boning chicks? Yeah? Okay, cool, bye!'

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Suzy, what's happening on Thursday? Is there some massive party that I don't know about?

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

luna, i don't think you need be too paranoid. modj had a good point about the gay until graduation thing. need only be moderately paranoid.

hmmm, question for you gals actually: the guys here seem to agree gf's + girls = hawt (shokah). would the idea of a bf/xbf with another guy completely warp you or not¿

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

HEY! When I found out the girl I was dating was had pulled the goalie while playing tonsil hockey with her gal pal, I was pretty choked. Just as upset at that, if not more, than the time she was kissin' it up on the dancefloor with a dude.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I once dated a guy who had two (!) ex-girlfriends turned gay! He was a major asshole, so that could possibly be the reason why his ex-girlies turned to other girlies instead. But he didn't affect me in any gay-way, I fancy girls to the exact same extent now as I did before AssholeGuy.

― Hanna (Hanna), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

no one makes girls "go gay." Girls go gay for one reason and one reason only...'tang.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

x-post
he he - and what exactly is the extent of your girl fancying¿

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

A rough estimate would be 4% girlfancying to 96% boyfancying.

― Hanna (Hanna), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i know a few cute boys who i wouldn't mind having turned gay, if anyone can help out.

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

(sprinkle periwinkle in their tea)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know if you can "turn" someone gay, but, you can sure influence them.

I was married for 12 years to a total "Burning Bed" freak. My family finally got me to think of a future without beatings and AIDS testing.

Three years later, I met the love of my life, who is a female and we've been together for the past 10 years. She is 100% opposite of the ass wipe that my ex was.

Can't say if I compensated or reacted; just know what love feels like, now that I made the one way turn down Gay Street.

― PsychoKitty, Monday, 12 January 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

nice one PsychoKitty!

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always been of the opinion that you fancy who you fancy and you fall in love with who you fall in love with and their gender is pretty incidental.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick = OTM.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but sometimes one has an attachment to certain body parts...

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

but that's lust, and ultimately transitory.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Mixed up the KY with the Crazy Glue again, Chris?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

transitory?

Someone said to me yesterday that all road movies are nihilistic because they all end in death. Well so does all life!

I'm sorry, Huckleberry, but transitory is about all we've got.

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Good point, NJ. Becoming gay isn't as easy as flipping a light switch. In the end, who you fall for depends on the type of person they are and what you have in common....not on their gender. (Incidentally, I've been asked whether I could fancy women. I'm not turned on by women, though I can look at one and appreciate how cute/beautiful she is.)

Congrats, PsychoKitty! As long as she makes you purr, enjoy the life you've got.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I agree with Nick. But I guess perhaps if you've been involved with someone bad, then you might subconsciously tend to seek out people who don't remind you of them, and taken to an extreme that would be people of a different gender than they are?

(Of course I don't mean to say that everyone who's had an ex go gay is a bad person, just that this is one possible explanation of the story of the guy I dated whose 2 exes went gay, and also perhaps the PsychoKitty story above.)

― Hanna (Hanna), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I've turned a bloke gay before. If I wasn't a straight bloke , I would have been well in.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

johney, i think phil needs yer help.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I've turned straight blokes gay and been turned gay myself on a few occasions.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(was being facetious!)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to disagree with all this "it doesn't matter what gender people are" stuff. I like *women*. I could meet--and I have met--wonderful, charming, sexy, men whom I've been attracted to. But never the same way I've been attracted to women. Gender matters to me. Perhaps it shouldn't. But I've got no problem saying so.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Obviously there's gradations.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Gradations of gender? Gradations of genitalia?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Jeanne is spot on. Gender sticks.

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. Dan is only a semi-man, for instance, on a sliding scale. I dread to think where I am.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"Congrats, PsychoKitty! As long as she makes you purr, enjoy the life you've got." Thanks, Nichole!

My background is in Psychology and Human Studies; Freud had said that over 80% of the Human population was 'capable' of being bi-sexual. (And that doesn't mean after a Six Pak!)

One of the reoccurring themes in Sci-Fi is "Just what defines a person." Star Trek: TNG, Twilight Zone and many Sci Fi writers always toyed with that idea: is it the shell that we inhabit that we fall in love with or the person INSIDE.

Sometimes, because of religious or cultural conditions, it would be unthinkable for a person to love the same sex, even if they WERE in love with someone from that sex. They still couldn't cross that line.

However, I was brought up with extremely strong female role models, as were the men, so in my patterning, men and women were equal. What I found out in real life, however, is that the men who were attracted initially to my strengths, hated them in the end and used them against me. My partner, however, loves my business sense and acumen and it plays nicely into our relationship.

I know plenty of people who like to experiment and as long as no one ends up being hurt by the experimental times, then whatever sex preference you chose, it's neutral. Only when it's done in spite or a negative reaction, do people suffer.

Strangely, when I announced to all of my friends and clients that I was with a female, they took it worth a grain of salt. Their comments were, "We liked you before and don't see how this will change you." We're both lucky that we've met with none of the prejudice or anger that other couples encounter. Of course, living in a large city such as Chicago, helps.

― PsychoKitty, Monday, 12 January 2004 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I am too busy giggling at the concept of a snack food called Gender Sticks to acknowledge Nick Southall.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Are Gender Sticks good with Cheese Whizz?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 12 January 2004 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

cheese jizz¿

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Freud had said that over 80% of the Human population was 'capable' of being bi-sexual. (And
that doesn't mean after a Six Pak!)

after a six pack (of Canadian strongo beer), I'm barely capable of being ___-sexual.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 January 2004 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, I kind of sincerely hope all of my ex boyfriends are sitting around having strange psuedo back patting/psuedo OH GOD I'M A HORRIBLE FUCK conversations like this from when I was dating M.... ??!!

Nobody turns anybody gay or straight or bi, don't even worry about it or think about it at all, unless you wanna have sexy adventures with both of them

PS that doesn't actually happen in real life.

PPS thank you for reminding me to change my phone ringer.

― Allyzay, Monday, 12 January 2004 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

PS that doesn't actually happen in real life
ha ha - wrong¡ although not with the two from saturday.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 12 January 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Adventures with an S!!!

― Allyzay, Monday, 12 January 2004 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Sexy Adventures!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 12 January 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

several years ago i tried to turn my best friend gay. it didn't work.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 12 January 2004 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

A girl I went out with openly said that one of her motives for dating me was to see if she was actually a lesbian. After me, she became gay for about 7 years before, bizarrely, marrying her ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.

I don't think I helped turn her gay, exactly, but I think going out with me helped confirm the feelings she was suspecting.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

in highschool i dated a girl and things just didn't seem to spark so we remained super duper close friends until even now (10yrs strong). she came out not too long after dating me. actually she dated one more guy after me before she came out, so maybe i can blame it on him.

funny side story. i was just in NYC visiting said friend and she showed me this documentary she participated in about Drag Kings. she was in this day long class on how to pass as a dude. when she got all dressed up, put on a hat and a beard,,,,,,, she looked just like me.

also, i've dated two girls that told me they've been woken up in their sleep on a few occasions by their respective boyfriends only to be told that they couldn't go on dating them because they were gay. a few months after i split up with one of them, i saw her at my work with her current "boyfriend". boy was gayer than gay. i often wondered why they were dating me. i must be pretty femmy?

― JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 00:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, the wife constantly says, "it's ok if you are, just let me know, ok?"

― JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Let Phil know, too.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

half the gay dudes in Saskatchewan are gay because of me. Because I'm so hottt. They all want a piece of my hetero ass.
I'm gonna put that on a bumper sticker.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 05:56 (twenty-two years ago)

It will have to be a very large bumper sticker.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 06:03 (twenty-two years ago)

mines bigger than yours.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 06:33 (twenty-two years ago)

jeanne et al otm.

i have never had a lot of time for conventional masculinity, i don't behave very manly; i get propositioned by men once in a while, i usually feel like i've let them down more than being embarrassed when i say sorry, no. i guess i come off pretty gay, i don't quite get why exactly but it doesn't bug me. that said, some men are attractive, who knows, i won't rule anything out. but i don't connect with men in that way emotionally. i mean, i am a man, i don't feel like i need any more of it. moody, aggressive, stubborn, hokey jokey dorkass men. no thanks!

i dated a girl in college who had exes come out twice in a row (theater people donchaknow). so consequently i got some shit for it; "when are you gonna switch him?"

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Let Phil know, too.

yes yes, i have a long list of cute boys who need to be gayified. someone please help.

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 08:29 (twenty-two years ago)

oh you should run in my circle then, there are so many androgynous boys at the parties i go to you'd think you were at a gay bar. please come and gayify them and put them out of their misery

― JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

god i hate indie rock

― JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

The problem is that those boys don't actually put out.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

you know that for a fact¿

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you know otherwise for a fact?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

hey¡ answer the question, bub¡

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Also what the heck is up with your question marks?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

it's because they're sick.
so are my exclamation marks and periods.

anything else¿

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you seen a doctor about it?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:23 (twenty-two years ago)

yes.
aside from pointing out i have the same effect on punctuation as i do women - he told me i am severely dyslexic.

as much as i hate admitting it, the dyslexia part is actually true.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Cheer up, maybe you're just Australian!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't believe your periods are upside down

― JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

It's true, he's like a used-tampon cleaning service.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't believe your periods are upside down
i'd like to see you prove it¡

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

i want to post this exchange to exelcior but i have to ring my friend.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

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