matchmaking...C/D?

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do you think matchmaking is a good thing? i really enjoy setting people up, and people say i'm pretty good at it from time to time.

is this something you enjoy doing? is it a different perspective if you're the matchmaker or the person being set up?

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I enjoy doing it. I'm usually far too blunt with it, though. I don't think I've ever ben set up myself, though.

Is it a good thing? If it helps two people yopu like get together, then yes. If it means that two people who might have got together but for your ham-fisted meddling, then no.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

One of my friends is an incorrigible retrospective matchmaker. Ie. two people get together and then she will swear blind that she got them together, that she knew all along they were perfect for each other etc.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been in the middle of an attempted setup so many times in the past year I could write a book on this subject... I pretty much enjoy it, but then I am an attention-seeking whore at heart. The worst that usually happens is you end up having a pleasant enough evening in the pub while your friends pretend not to be staring at you and analysing your every move.

Although it does occasionally provide some frightening insights into how your friends view you - "like, you thought I'd get on with THAT?!"

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i've not really tried to do it but me and my friend both introduced each other to our current honeys without realising what it would lead to. i can't imagine wanting to have that much control over my friends' love lives - though (weird alert) i can imagine wanting that much control over my little brothers life when he is old enough, its some kind of weird maternal thing. um if you're single, male and gay in two years, my little brother is really ace y'all. oh shit i'm pimping out my little brother.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

And you're offering damn good rates too.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha two people on this thread have already offered to "introduce" me to their friends!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

No one ever offers me.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

my little brother likes soccer, harry potter and the magnetic fields. whos in?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

(when hes 16!!!!!!! not befor!!!!!!!)

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

no one ever 'pimps' me.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Meddling in and living vicariously through the happiness and/or sexual gratification of others is all i have left. Give me a little joy in life now and then, will you?

― petra jane (petra jane), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had pretty good strike rate as an accidental matchmaker, i fear what would happen if I went into bizness.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

what the hell, petra, you got laid on new years you whinger???!!!!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

And it was dirty, if I recall correctly.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought you were spoken for, Barry you love rat you...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

"barry"?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Me & boy got together through some matchmaking friends. They say 'we knew they'd hit it off' we say ' we were the only single friends they had'!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

so nobody hates it yet? that's amazing!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Go forth & matchmake Colette!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, sorry to be the lone dissenter, but I HATE IT!!! OK, usually because I used to be the person being setup, and the victim was always frankly awful. I used to suffer from lone single person amoung smug marrieds syndrome, and you just get stuck together with the only other single person of the opposite sex that they know, regardless of whether you actually have anything in common or not.

Dud, dud, dud.

However, on the rare occasion that I've actually noticed that two people suit each other and attracted to each other, and given hints that nudged them together, it's been classic. But no one has EVER tried to do something that subtle for me.

― the river fleet, Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't you owe your current relationship to being set up, Kate? Aaah, remember the days of this thread?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Ms Fleet - I know what you mean, but in my case being the only single ppl they knew worked out hella well!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

do people in this day and age really ACTIVELY try to set their friends up?

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

We weren't set up, we were introduced by a mutual friend. There's a big difference.

And gah, those were not the good old days, I really wish I hadn't given out so much personal information online, and if I could go back in time and change things and never have posted that or other threads like it, I would. :-(

― the river fleet, Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to suffer from lone single person amoung smug marrieds syndrome, and you just get stuck together with the only other single person of the opposite sex that they know, regardless of whether you actually have anything in common or not.

Smug marrieds seem to think that either there is something (often esoteric) that links you or that you're desperate enough for it not too matter.

The last girl I got set up with was absolutely atrocious, I think I've mentioned the experience before - the Gary Moore CDs and the Daily Express - shudder.

― Alfie (Alfie), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Awww! :-(

x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

If only it had been Gary Jules eh Alfie?

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

i not-so-secretly love it tho i wouldn't really act the maker myself, only the makee, but i would feel REALLY awkward in that situation as well and i would probably not act my real self if i was aware of the setup. i'm sure Colette is a terrific matchmaker tho. subtlety is key.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i try to actively set people up. more in the way of think of two people that i think might get along and/or fancy each other, and tell them enough about the other person to see if they are interested, then do the same to the other person, and then see where it goes from there. sometimes it's small time, sometimes a big deal. weekend before last i helped get a friend together with a guy in a band that she thought was cute but never would have gone after. it was fun for all involved, i think.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you should just have a singles party, which will allow ppl to find out for themselves. I am sure there is money to be made!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

well...there *is* going to be a 'hook up for dean' valentine's party in february. but i don't think i'll make any money off it.

there was a show on a few months ago about hosting your own singles party. they included such hot tips as have an ice sculpture of naked men and women with colorful vodka shots dripping from the penis/nipples. classy.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

nice!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

ARGH KEY PARTY

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

the sooner someone hooks me up with their skanky cousin they cant pawn off on anyone else the better

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

we were actually talking about the london version of a key party, since so few of us have cars here...the oystercard party was the most practical suggestion, i think.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

That's quite fittingly Londoncentric public-transport geeky.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Phew! Paper travelcard.

*wipes brow*

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't forget you'll need an Oystercard reader to work out whose is whose.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Not if they've got photocards, then it's very easy

― Vicky (Vicky), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

A friend of mine continually tries to set me up w/mutual friends, he's MAYBE joking

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Evil. I can do my own dirty work, thank you.

― Tag (Tag), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

but how can you set yourself up with someone that you don't know?

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

(psst - he's talking about masturbating)

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

really? well, then i can see why he doesn't need any help...

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree with Tag I think, there's something a bit busybodyish about it all.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been single more than not since my marriage ended two and a half years ago, and I'd have been delighted if someone had said that they had a friend that they thought I'd like, and vice versa. It hasn't happened once. I expect no one thinks their friends would be interested in me, which I think is an entirely fair viewpoint.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I think this is fairly dud, largely because of a really horrifying story about two friends my wife set up in college where he trapped her in an abusive relationship that lasted through medical school. When she finally severed ties (she was in LA, he was in Berkely), he drove down, shot and killed her, then shot himself.

So yeah, I'm not a big fan of matchmaking (although without it there'd be no "Fiddler On The Roof").

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:36 (twenty-two years ago)

jesus. that story makes me wanna label relationships in general as dud.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

It all depends what you mean. A friendly recommendation is quite nice and thoughtful, or perhaps helping two people together if they blatantly fancy each other and are too crap to do anything about it. But the idea that single people automatically want to be helped out of their unfortunate condition is a little bit condescending, however well-meaning. I'm an ungrateful bastard.

I never talk about masturbating, it's right common.

― Tag (Tag), Tuesday, 13 January 2004 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

(also if i do set you up with my little brother, you have to treat him good or i will kick you in the nuts)

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

tag, i'm pretty sure that i always check with people to make sure that they do want to be helped out of their situation (if it isn't made obvious by previous complaints about how they never meet any nice girls/cute boys/etc) and go from there. there's a few friends that just prefer to be single, and i'm more than happy to leave them alone.

but it's just so fun to help make something happen that wouldn't have otherwise. plus, it's a handy way of getting some of the excitement and buzz of a new relationship while not destroying my own.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sure you do, Colette, and that's fine. It's the ones who want to live vicariously through something they've engineered that bother me.

― Tag (Tag), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

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