Cunnilingus: classic or dud?

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Well it all depends, doesn't it? But when you've been down there for hours, your tongue is numb, your jaw aches and she's nowhere near coming, then it's a DUD.

― Thomas de Quincey, Friday, 16 January 2004 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

If you've been down there for hours--literally, hours?--there are problems besides yr jaw aching.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic. Who wants my number, girls?

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Friday, 16 January 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

It's overrated.

― Stephen M., Friday, 16 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Well it all depends, doesn't it? But when you've been down there for hours, your tongue is numb, your jaw aches and she's nowhere near coming, then it's a DUD

She's probably gone to sleep due to the fact that it's hours later & you still haven't made her come!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 January 2004 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

also, Paxil does not help the process.

At all.

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic when done correctly by an expert, hell on earth when done by a bumbling fool.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 January 2004 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Talk about pressure to perform!

― Fred B., Friday, 16 January 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

it's a cunt of a thing, but I like it.

― queen g whose son is not banjo, Friday, 16 January 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

"taste sensation or act of madness" needs to completely replace "classic or dud."
-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), July 9th, 2003 3:46 PM. (kenan)

TASTE SENSATION!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

You ain't got nuthin' till you're down on the muffin.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

...One can be too cunning then, cannot one?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

from the mouth of Samuel Jackson at the beginning of "True Romance"

"I eat the ass, eat the pussy, I eat every mother fucking thang."

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

do any of you practicing performing the cunninlingus? like playing air guitar? Can this be a new dance form? AIR LINGUS????

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

-practicing +practice

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"Now boarding - Air Lingus, flight to ecstacy, gate V."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Crown Heights Affair?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"Now boarding - Air Lingus, flight to ecstacy, gate V."

That took me a few seconds.

― El Spinktor (El Spinktor), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, that's some tongue you got there.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm very keen on it. My feeling is that if you've been down there for hours and she isn't coming, you are doing it very wrongly indeed.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 16 January 2004 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

If im down there for hours then im probably asleep...and have given up long ago.

― El Spinktor (El Spinktor), Friday, 16 January 2004 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

If she's not coming after that long, I'm gonna start asking for pointers.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 January 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

One gets the impression that this thread ought to be titled "PERFORMING Cunnilingus: classic or dud?" - hardly any opinions on receiving!

The experience varies, but for the person to make the effort at all = CLASSIC.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm all about the effort, but my gf isn't a big fan, so I'm a bit out of practice (haha not like my skills were ever razor sharp, exactly).

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Would you trust a girl who wasn't into it?

― Legitimate Question (ModJ), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.pussysnorkel.com/images/jadenew.jpg

― maybe you guys are just having troubles breathing properly (nickalicious), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I love being on the receiving end. Sometimes girls take a long time because they're, you know, enjoying it.

― a girl, Friday, 16 January 2004 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Why wouldn't you trust a girl who wasn't into it? I MEAN READ THE RESPONSES TO THIS THREAD SO FAR AND GEE I WONDER WHY SOMEONE WOULD NOT CONSIDER ORAL HOT. It seems almost...self-explanatory.

― Allyzay, Friday, 16 January 2004 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Not down, AK?

― Legitimate Question (ModJ), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Trust her with what, like, my ATM pin number?

Everything else is fine, she's just generally not turned on by it.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

classic-gone-masterpiece

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Not really, though not for the reason I just said. I just always find it amusing on ILX how people have these sex threads with about 100 totally gross unsexy answers and then someone comes in and acts mystified as to why said sex act is unattractive. It's like, did you not read what's going on here? Seriously! If I HAD gotten off on oral sex, I never would again after seeing that snorkle man!

― Allyzay, Friday, 16 January 2004 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha I'd love to see the look on a girl's face as I'm stepping out of the boudoir wearing that thing all like "here I come baby, prepare for TEH LOVEENGK".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

http://darkstar-sifi.co.uk/images/action_figures/simpsons_action_figures/bumblebee_man.jpg

es mui bueno

― ModJ (ModJ), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Q: What did cavemen use as pussy snorkels?
A: Ferrets.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

You don't see me putting on a diving suit to give blowjobs for fuck's sake, it's so unnecessary and gross, that image.

― Allyzay, Friday, 16 January 2004 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Not even the goggles?

― ModJ (ModJ), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, if the dude is trying to stick his whole head in there, he's doing something wrong.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I love how that girl still has on the stilletos, like at any moment she's prepared to kick the cockgoblin in the eyeball.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't understand why she hasn't done it already.

― Allyzay, Friday, 16 January 2004 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Kinda sexy though.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, if bad sub-MAD TV skits turn you on.

― Allyzay, Friday, 16 January 2004 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Wouldn't what? Kick him in the eye?

― ModJ (ModJ), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do I
Why do I smile
At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?

― Morrissey (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

(argh)

― Morrissey (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Release the album already dammit.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Cockgoblin? That's her job, surely.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 16 January 2004 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

is the pay good?

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

by pay i mean spunk

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

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