Local Wrasslin'

Depends on the federation, obviously. You'll usually get an undercard of local no-hopers, a few trusty journeymen in the later matches, and a couple of fly-in former name wrestlers headlining. Which fed is it?

The posters just say "Professional Wrestling: Sunday, Veterans Hall."
A friend of mine says he's worked out with these guys, but balked when they wanted $350 for boots. But he says it's a good place to brush up on your heckling.
I'm assuming that they're using the word "professional" in the figurative sense.

who's on the card for the event?

It sounds like one of those small regional institutions that put on small level shows in city to city, they follow the "in the round" style that live wrestling used to back in the 60s and 70s, when they'd basically put on the same show three times a week in town's far enough apart for everyone to think they were still seeing something unique.

there are actually TWO shows on Sunday, at 2 and 7 p.m.!
I've seen NO CARD. But it's only $7, and fuck, it's Sunday in January in Saskatchewan.

I will most definitely report back. I'm really hoping for an old-fashioned geek show.

All Star Wrestling, or "the worst wrestling promotion in Europe", is currently touring with a roster that includes David Flair.

it's times like these that make me want Telemundo, so that i can watch Lucha Libre. When i was last in NYC(for CMJ in 2002), our hotel room had it and we had the greatest time skipping out on the boring label showcases to watch Psychosis, La Parka, etc; all the guys from WCW whom I've missed.

also, bring a camera, just in case.

La Parka was the boy for a while, definitely. It was him who found The Wall dead in his hotel room, you know?

didn't hear about that one. The Wall died? what was the story on that one?

Heart attack from over-use of steroids. Shame. He was doing the tables gimmick in the big two before the Dudleyz, you know?

Whatever happened to the Ultimate Warrior?

After his brief run as WWF's franchise player in the early 90s?

Basically, after the Wrestlemania VI match with Hogan, Hogan's post match antics took the focus away from Warrior and onto him. Thus Vince McMahon's attempts to "pass the torch" between the two were ruined.

Warrior failed to draw at the box office at all, and so McMahon had him drop the title to Sgt Slaughter and downgraded him.

Anyway, a few months later, there was a pay dispute (Warrior wanted a guaranteed contract, which is rare enough in wrestling, but especially for someone that wasn't ever a proven draw), and so he got junked. He returned to the WWF about 18 months later, minus muscle definition and with about 40 extra pounds of body fat (leading to all those "he's dead and replaced by someone else" rumours). His second run was pretty crappy, never went anywhere, and then he vanished again, working a few indie dates on occasions.

He ended up back in the WWF again in 1995/6 (I forget the exact year), due to Vinnie Mac's realisation that he'd not got any stars. Warrior's third run in the company lasted roughly three months, including one of the worst matches ever to Goldust, and a sub-minute squash match against a certain Hunter Hearst Helmsley (it was so quick basically because Warrior had no stamina left).

He then turned up again in WCW in 1998. He was only there because Warrior wanted his win back from WMVI, and, my god, was he shit. All his matches were dreadful.

Since leaving WCW in 1998 he's been kinda quiet, achiveing a certain notoriety amongst the IWC (Internet wrestling community) for his derranged web commentaries, which can be found here: http://www.ultimatewarrior.com/menu.html. Enjoy.

Oh, and the man himself, James Hellwig, recently changed his name by deed poll to The Warrior. It's safe to say he's not quite playing with a full deck.

Scott Kieth has a great history on him online, too, but i forget where it is.

In his stomach? LOLSCOTTKEITHISFAT2004